The Swiss resemble the Tyrolese in simplicity, frankness, and honesty. The women are very neat and industrious. They are busily engaged in their dairies and domestic avocations, and are little inclinedto visiting. When they do visit socially, very few men are invited, and those are their nearest relations. Sometimes twenty ladies assemble together, without one man in the party; their husbands being all assembled at the smoking clubs.
In Basil, female societies are formed from infancy of children of the same age, and the same class. They are so particular about equality of years, that sisters, whose ages differ a few years, belong to separate societies, with whom they always meet at each other’s houses. Friendships formed in this way constitute a strong bond of union. Those that have belonged to the same society in childhood often meet, after separation, in maturer years, with the affection of sisters. The ladies usually carry work to parties, at which they assemble as early as three in the afternoon. Parents have one day of the week, which they callle jour de famille. On this occasion all their offspring, even to the fifth and sixth generation, are assembled together. The Swiss women marry at an early age. Not long since, there were six ladies in Basil whose grandchildren were grandmothers. The manners of these hardy mountaineers are patriarchal and affectionate. Young people are allowed to marry according to their inclination, and matches from interested motives are not common. In such a state of things, there is no need of the restraints imposed among voluptuous nations. The Swiss girls have a great deal of freedom allowed them, and are distinguished for innocence and modesty.
The inhabitants of the Netherlands are proverbial for their industry and love of acquiring money. Their women are eminently domestic, being always busy in their household, or engaged in assisting their husbands in some department of his business, such as keeping accounts, and receiving money. They are not only thrifty themselves, but teach their children to earn something as soon as they can use their fingers. If they quit their domestic employments, it is to join some family party, or take a short excursion with their husbands. Their stainless floors, shining pewter dishes, and snow-white starched caps, all indicate that notable housewives are common in the land. The Dutch women are generally robust and rosy, with figures the reverse of tall and slender. At Haarlem, a very ancient and peculiar custom is still preserved. When a child is newly born, a wooden figure, about sixteen inches square, covered with red silk and Brussels lace, is placed at the door. This exempts the master of the house from all judicial molestation, and is intended to insure the tranquillity necessary for the mother’s health. To prevent the kind but injudicious intrusion of friends, a written bulletin of the state of both mother and child is daily affixed to the door or window; and finally a paper is posted on the door, to signify on what day the mother will receive the ladies of her acquaintance. Among the phlegmatic and thrifty Dutch, matches are, of course, generally made from prudential motives, rather than the impulses of passion, or the refinement of sentiment.
Russia is a country slowly emerging from barbarism. Of their condition in the time of Peter the Great, something may be judged by the regulation he made, ordering the ladies of his court not to get drunk upon any pretence whatever, and forbidding gentlemen to do so before ten o’clock. The empress Catherine ordered certain Russian ladies to be publicly knouted for some indiscretions. French manners now prevail among the higher ranks, who are generally frank, hospitable and courtly. The women are serious and dignified, with something of oriental languor. Their forms of society are ceremonious, compared with the lively graces of the Poles, of whose manners they are apt to judge severely. A French writer has asserted that of all countries, except France, it is perhaps the most agreeable to be a woman in Russia; but when he said this, he must have been thinking only of cities, and of a favored class in those cities. The Russian ladies are proverbial for the facility with which they acquire foreign languages. They speak and write French like native Parisians, though often unable to spell the Russian tongue, which is seldom spoken in polite circles. Among the higher ranks, whose blood is mingled with that of Georgians, Circassians, and Poles, there are some women of extraordinary beauty; but the Russian females are in general short, clumsy, round-faced and sallow. They daub their faces with red and white paint, and in some districts stain their teeth black. The peasantry use no cradles. The babe is placed on a mattress, inclosed ina frame like that used for embroidery, and suspended from the ceiling by four cords, after the manner of the Hindoos. Russian fathers, of all classes, generally arrange marriages for their children, without consulting their inclinations. Among the peasantry, if a girl has the name of being a good housewife, her parents will not fail to have applications for her, whatever may be her age, or personal endowments. As soon as a young man is old enough to be married, his parents seek a wife for him, and all is settled before the young couple know any thing of the matter. Porter gives very unfavorable ideas of the morality of the Russian nobility. He says the marriage tie is little regarded, but the women are less profligate than the men. It ought, however, in justice, to be remembered that a traveller has a better chance to see the vices of a country, than its virtues. Although the Russians, in common with their neighbors of Sweden and Lapland, have an Asiatic fondness for frequent bathing, they are so dirty with regard to their garments, that even the wealthy are generally more or less infested with vermin.
The Cossack women are very cleanly and industrious. In the absence of their husbands they supply their places, by taking charge of all their usual occupations in addition to their own. It is rare for a Cossack woman not to know some trade, such as dyeing cloth, tanning leather, &c.
Throughout Russia all classes salute each other by kissing. “When a lady would only courtesy a welcome in England, she must kiss it in Russia;”and if a man salutes her in this way, she must on no occasion refuse to return it.
The higher classes, both in Denmark and Sweden, imitate the French manners and customs very closely. The ladies generally have the northern physiognomy; viz. fair complexion, light hair, blue eyes, and a mild, clear expression. They have little of the ardor of the Italians, or the vivacity of the French. Ambition is more easily excited in their breasts than love. Their manners are modest and reserved. Gallantry toward ladies is not the characteristic of any of the northern nations. The Swedes are generally industrious and sincere, and perhaps there is no country in the world where women perform so much and such various labor. They serve the bricklayers, carry burdens, row boats, thresh grain, and manage the plough.
Swedish children are wrapped up in bandages like cylindrical wicker baskets, to keep them straight, from one to eighteen months old. They are suspended from pegs in the wall, or laid in any convenient part of the room, where they remain in great silence and good humor. M’Donald, in his Travels, says, “I have not heard the cries of a child since I came to Sweden.” Travellers in these northern countries are surprised to see women drink strong, spirituous liquors, with as much freedom as the men.
Among the half-savage Laplanders, this bad habit is carried to a great extent. There a lover cannot make a more acceptable present to the girl of his choice, than a bottle of brandy; and when he wishesto gain the favor of her relations, he endeavors to do it by a liberal distribution of the same liquor.
The Icelanders, though living in a climate even more inclement, and exposed to equal fatigue while fishing in their stormy seas, are temperate in their habits, and at festive meetings rarely drink any thing but milk and water. They have a love of literature truly surprising among a people exposed to such continual danger and toil. It is contrary to law for a woman to marry unless she can read and write. When darkness covers the land, and their little huts are almost buried in snow, one of the family reads some instructive volume, by the light of a lamp, while the others listen to him, as they perform their usual avocations. “In these regular evening readings the master of the family always begins, and he is followed by the rest in their turn. Even during their daily in-door labors, while some are employed in making ropes of wool, or horse-hair, some in preparing sheep-skin for fishing dresses, or in spinning, knitting, or weaving, one of the party generally reads aloud for the amusement and instruction of the whole. Most farm-houses have a little library, and they exchange books with each other. As these houses are scattered over a wild country, and far apart, the only opportunity they have of making these exchanges is when they meet at church; and there a few always contrive to be present, even in the most inclement weather.”
The dress of the Icelanders is neat, without any effort to be ornamental. Families are almost invariablyclothed in garments spun and woven at home. It is needless to say that a people with such habits cherish the domestic virtues, and treat their women with kindness.
The general manners of the modern Greeks are the same, whether they live in Constantinople or the various islands of the Archipelago. In cities, women rarely appear in public, even at churches, till they are married. In their houses certain rooms are appropriated to the ladies and their attendants, to carry on embroidery and other feminine employments. The men have separate apartments. Female slaves are treated with great gentleness. Some adopt them when very young, and call them “children of their souls.” Like the Greeks of old, some trusty female slave is often the nurse, confidant, and friend of her mistress. A woman of any consideration never appears abroad without one servant at least; and those who affect display, are attended by an innumerable troop. The Greek ladies present their hand to be kissed by their children or inferiors. Young girls salute each other in a singular manner; they hold each other by the ears while they kiss the eyes. The wealthy Greeks, like the Turks, are exceedingly fond of expensive jewels. The ladies often dress themselves in the most splendid manner, without any expectation of seeing company, merely to indulge their own fancy, or that of their husbands. Their marriage ceremonies in many respects resemble those of their classic ancestors. The evening preceding the wedding, the bride is conducted to thebath, accompanied by music and attendants. The next day, she proceeds with slow and solemn pace to the church, adorned with all the jewels she can obtain, and covered with a rose-colored veil. A blazing torch is carried before her, and a long procession follows. At the altar both bride and bridegroom are crowned with flowers, which are frequently exchanged in the course of the ceremony. They have likewise two wedding rings, which are exchanged and re-exchanged several times. Immediately after the benediction, a cup of wine is offered to the young couple, and afterward to the witnesses of the marriage. When the bride arrives at her new home, she is lifted over the threshold, it being considered ominous for her feet to touch it. She likewise walks over a sieve covered with a carpet. She is seated on a sofa in the corner of the room, and there expected to remain downcast and immovable, amid all the music, and dancing, and gayety around her. Every guest, as he comes into the room, passes by her, and throws a piece of money in her lap, which she deposits in a small silver box, without moving her lips, or raising her eyes. The festival is kept up three days, during which time the bride does not utter a word except it be in a whisper to some of her female attendants. Marriages usually take place on Sunday, and the bride is not allowed to leave the house until the Sunday following. Custom demands that some dowry should be in readiness, and even a beautiful woman is more acceptable for not being entirely destitute. The Albanian girls carry theirmarriage portions on their scarlet caps, which are covered with paras and piastres, like scales. Peasant girls will undergo the greatest fatigue to add a para to this cherished hoard. They often get a large price for old coins found among the ruins; but sometimes no money will tempt them to sell it, because they believe a certain charm resides in the legend round the coin. The Greeks have universally a strong belief in omens, signs, and oracles. When they drink to the health of a bridal pair, they always accompany it with the wish that no evil eye, or malignant influence, may blight their happiness. They are a gay and lively people, exceedingly fond of music and dancing, which in their fine climate are often enjoyed in the open air. Their character is ardent and susceptible in the extreme; and the reality of love is very apt to be tested by the suddenness of the impression. Girls are often married at ten years of age, and bachelors are very uncommon. Except in the large towns, and among the opulent classes, matches are rarely made from interested motives, and divorces scarcely ever occur.
The inhabitants of ancient Lesbos were said to be dissolute in their manners; and the island (now called Metelin) still bears the same character. The women of Scio are said to be peculiarly handsome and engaging in their manners. They may be seen at the doors and windows, twisting silk, or knitting; and when a traveller appears, they not only invite him into their houses, but urge him with playful earnestness. Their object is partly friendly hospitality,and partly a wish to sell some of the handsome purses for which Scio is celebrated. They have learned to offer them in the language of many nations; and Frenchman, Italian, or Swede, is likely to hear himself addressed, in his own tongue, from various quarters, “Come and look at some handsome purses, sir.” But this frankness is so obviously innocent, that a profligate man would never mistake it for boldness.
The dead are carried to the grave in a kind of open litter, with the face uncovered. When a young maiden dies, she is covered with rich garments, and crowned with a garland. As the bier passes along the streets, women throw roses, and scatter perfumed waters upon it.
At various epochs of their history, the Greek women have evinced heroism worthy of the ancient Spartans. They have fought against the Turks with the resolute and persevering bravery of disciplined warriors, and sought death in its most horrid forms to save themselves from infamy. A woman of Cyprus, with the consent of her daughters, set fire to the powder-magazine in which they were concealed, because they preferred this fate to the sultan’s seraglio; and this was but one of many instances of similar resolution. The captain of a Greek gun-brig, famous for his bravery during the dreadful scene at Napoli di Romania, was treacherously murdered by order of the capitan pacha, at Constantinople. To avenge his death, his widow built three ships at her own expense, of which during the war she took the command, accompanied by her two sons.
The Greeks are very ignorant; but both men and women generally evince a desire to receive books, and have schools established among them. Females of the lower class often labor hard in the fields, and thereby lose the beauty for which their country-women are distinguished. Madox speaks of seeing women in the Greek islands winnowing corn, who looked like the witches in Macbeth.
In giving this brief outline of European manners, either in the middle ages or modern times, the poor have been nearly left out of the account. In the middle ages, nobles treated their vassals as slaves. They were scantily fed, miserably clothed, obliged to marry according to the dictates of a master, and seldom addressed in any better language than “villain,” or “base hound.” The condition of Polish and Russian serfs in modern times is about the same. The Polish peasant women have scarcely clothing enough for decency, and the hardships and privations to which they are subjected destroy every vestige of good looks. In Russia, women have been seen paving the streets, and performing other similar drudgery. In Finland, they work like beasts of burden, and may be seen for hours up to the middle in snow-water, tugging away at boats and sledges. In Flanders, girls carry heavy baskets of coal to market strapped on their shoulders. The old peasant women in France are said to be frightfully ugly, in consequence of continued toil and exposure to the weather. In England, it is not unusual to see poor women scraping up manure from the streets, withtheir hands, and gathering it into baskets. In a word, there is no part of Europe where an American would not see the novel sight of females laboring in the fields, or carrying burdens in the streets, without a bonnet to shield them from sun or rain.
But the European structure of society differs from that of Asiatic nations or savage tribes in the comparative equality of labor between the sexes; if poor women are obliged to work hard, poor men are so likewise; they do not, like Orientals, sit in idleness, while women perform nearly all the drudgery. In some districts, such as Croatia, Morlachia, &c. women have more than their share of toil. In Savoy and the north of Italy, emigration, for the purpose of gaining a livelihood in other countries, is general among the peasantry, especially during the winter. In some districts it is uncommon to find a tenth part of the male population at home. The women and children take care of the goats, sheep, and cattle, do all the out-of-door work, and spin and weave garments for their absent husbands.
Nearly all the amusements of modern times are shared by the women as well as the men. No recreations are more universally enjoyed by all nations, and all classes, than music and dancing. In the splendid saloons of the wealthy and the fashionable they are introduced in a thousand forms, to vary the excitements of life; and the toil-worn peasant dancing with the girl of his heart, with the green-sward for his carpet, and heaven for his canopy, has enjoyment that princes might sigh for in vain. A traveller,speaking of Greek dances, says: “Though the company was generally composed of boatmen, fishermen, and donkey drivers, with their wives, daughters, sisters, or sweethearts, I have seen more beauty and grace, and infinitely more spirit and gayety, than it has been my lot to meet in saloons luminous with chandeliers, and furnished with all the appurtenances of luxury.” The Irish are extravagantly fond of dancing. Weddings and other festivals are celebrated with much dancing, and Sunday rarely passes without it. Dancing-masters travel through the country, from cabin to cabin, with a piper or blind fiddler, and their pay is sixpence a quarter. Thewaltzis a graceful dance of German origin. Modest matrons formerly objected to their daughters waltzing with gentlemen, on account of the frequent intertwining of arms, and clasping each other’s waists; but this is now common in the fashionable circles of Europe, not only among the voluptuous nations of the South, but with the more reserved inhabitants of the North. Thewaltzis said to have been danced at Luther’s wedding, when he married the nun.
Theatrical representations are as open to women as to men, though custom requires that they should not appear in such public places without some protector. In Spain, no man is allowed to enter the boxes appropriated to women; but in other places, the male and female members of the same family, or the same party, sit together. The public performances called opera-dancing can never be witnessed bya modest woman for the first time, without feelings of shame; yet they are sanctioned by fashion. There has been about an equal degree of male and female talent for dramatic acting. Women who adopt this profession are not generally respected, because it is taken for granted that their morals are not very severe; but many have risen to high rank, in consequence of powerful talent, and purity of character. The nobility and gentry of Europe have very frequently intermarried with distinguished actresses.
In Holland and Russia, skating is a favorite amusement both with men and women. The Friesland women often make a match to contend for a prize. At one of these races, which took place in 1805, one of the competitors was past fifty, and many only fifteen. A girl about twenty gained the principal prize, which was a golden ornament for the head; another, sixteen years old, gained the second prize, a coral necklace with a gold clasp. It is stated that the former skated a mile in something less than two minutes and a half. They commonly go two and two, each with an arm round the other’s waist, or one before the other, holding by the hand; but sometimes thirty persons may be seen skating all together, and holding each other by the hand.
In Catholic countries festival days are too numerous to be described. During the Carnival there is one universal spirit of gayety and fun. People appear abroad in all manner of fantastic carriages, and masquerade dresses. Buffoons, peasant girls, Gipseys, Tartar warriors, and Indian queens, are mingledtogether in grotesque confusion. People pelt each other with sugar-plums, or with small comfits made of plaster of Paris and flour, until they look as if a sack of meal had been shaken over them. Beautiful girls have showers of bon-bons bestowed, as they pass along; and not unfrequently these sweet gifts are contained in fanciful little baskets tied with ribbons. On certain days it is allowable to play all manner of mischievous pranks; these are calledintruding days, and probably have the same origin as our April-fool day.
Easter is ushered in with great religious pomp and pageantry. No person meets another without kissing him on each side of his face and saying, “Christ is risen!” The answer uniformly is, “He is risen indeed!” On Easter Monday begins the presentation of the paschal eggs, which have been previously blessed by the priest. These ornamental eggs, either of glass, porcelain, or gold, or real eggs with fanciful colors and patterns, are presented by lovers to their mistresses, by friends to each other, and by servants to their masters. The poorest peasant, when he presents his paschal egg and repeats the words, “Christ is risen!” may demand a kiss even of the empress. All business is laid aside. The rich devote themselves to suppers, balls, and masquerades, while the poor sing and carouse in the streets.
Christmas is observed with great festivity in Protestant countries, as well as Catholic. All the schools give a vacation, that families may be enabled to meet together round the merry Christmas table. Thecustom of bestowing presents is universal. In some places, a large bough, called the Christmas tree, is prepared the evening previous, and the boxes, baskets, trinkets, &c. sent by friends are suspended on the branches, with the name of the person for whom they are intended affixed to them. There is great eagerness, particularly among the children of a family, to ascertain what are their Christmas gifts. Houses are decorated with evergreens. In Great Britain, a branch ofmisletoeis hung up in great state, and a man may claim kisses of any woman who passes under it, plucking off a berry at each kiss. Both at Easter and Christmas it is customary to lay aside the distinctions of rank, to a certain extent, in imitation of the “meek and lowly” founder of the Christian religion. The old barons and their vassals shared the same Christmas luxuries at the same loaded table; and even now, a servant may, without offence, kiss the daughter of his lady, if she chance to stand under themisletoe. On this occasion, the rich are expected to give bountifully to the poor.
The custom of bestowing gifts on the first of January, accompanied with wishes for a happy new year, is universal, according to the custom of the old Romans, on the Kalends of January. Almost every lover, husband, and parent, makes it a point to provide some acceptable present for the objects of his affection. On this day there is a great rivalry who shall call the earliest upon friends with the compliments of the season. In France, every man is expected to presentbon-bons, at least, to the ladies of his acquaintance; and whoever visits a Parisian belle on the first of January, will find her table covered with the jewels, gloves, perfumes, and artificial flowers, that have been presented in the course of the day. The ancient Romans had a similar custom on the Kalends of January.
The first of May was formerly observed with the pageantry of processions, music, dancing, and oxen decorated with ribbons and flowers. This festival is still observed in most parts of Europe. People of all classes go out into the fields to gather flowers and green branches, which they often leave in baskets at the door of some friend, accompanied with a poetical welcome to Spring. In most villages a May-pole is erected, decorated with garlands and ribbons, around which the young people dance right joyfully. The favorite of the village is usually chosen queen of May, and crowned with flowers. It was an old superstition that the first dew gathered in May was peculiarly beneficial to the complexion.
The limits of this work will not permit even a passing allusion to the numerous games and festivals of modern times; it is sufficient to say that women join in all, except those which are fatiguing and dangerous.
The habits and employments of fashionable circles are nearly the same throughout Christendom; the general tone of their manners is taken from the French and English, and is sometimes a compound of both. Their infants are almost always nourished and takencare of by hired nurses. The fashion of dress, which varies more rapidly than the changing seasons, is an all-absorbing object of interest. The time that is not spent with mantuamakers, milliners, jewellers, and dressing maids, is devoted to parties, morning calls, and amusements, with an occasional exertion of ingenuity in some light fancy-work. Many of the court ladies of Bavaria are said to have no other employment than changing their dresses many times a day, and playing with their numerous parrots, dogs, and cats. But in every country there are among the wealthy classes honorable exceptions to these remarks—women who appear with elegance, without suffering dress to engross their thoughts, and who can find time for the graceful courtesies of life, without neglecting the cultivation of their minds, or the care of their children. In recent times, it is very common for ladies to form societies for various charitable purposes. Women of different nations sometimes unite their efforts for the same object; thus the English ladies joined with the German, to support the numerous Saxon orphans, who lost their parents in the wars of 1813. Sometimes the members of such societies busy themselves, for months together, in preparing useful and elegant articles, and afterwards sell them at a fair, which their friends and acquaintances are, of course, generally desirous to attend.
In many parts of Europe the peasantry do not change their style of dress in the course of centuries; but each of the innumerable districts has a fashionpeculiar to itself. They are distinguished from the same classes of women in Asia, by going with their faces uncovered, and almost universally dressing modestly high in the neck. Among the wealthy, female decorum is often sacrificed on the altar of unblushing fashion.
Beautifulhairis now, as it always has been, considered the greatest external ornament of woman; and it is one with which the poor are often endowed, as well as the rich. An Oxfordshire lass, with remarkably beautiful hair, was courted by a young man, whose friends objected to the match, unless the girl’s parents would bestow fifty pounds as a dowry. She went to London, sold her hair to a wig-maker for sixty pounds, and triumphantly returned with the requisite sum. The daughter of an English clergyman, who had left his family in poverty, sold her own rich profusion of glossy ringlets, to buy books for her brother in college. A poor young German girl, who lived at service, had very long auburn hair, so remarkable for its beauty, that wealthy ladies repeatedly offered her large sums for it. She could never be persuaded to part with it; but when, during the grievous wars of 1812 and 13, she saw the rich and the noble giving their jewels for the relief of poor soldiers, her shining tresses “of brown in the shadow, and gold in the sun,” were silently and cheerfully laid on the altar of patriotism. Who, after this, will say that beautiful hair, or any otheroutwardadorning, is the greatest ornament of woman?
The Catholics, Lutherans, and Episcopalians, usually celebrate their marriages in church. Pope Innocent the Third is said to have been the first who instituted this custom. Centuries ago, the ceremony was performed at the door of the church, as if the interior of the building were too holy for the purpose; but now the young couple kneel before the altar, to receive their nuptial benediction. The Catholics consider marriage as one of the sacraments.
During the time of Cromwell, the Puritans, in their zeal to change all popish customs, good or bad, ordered that marriages should be performed by magistrates, instead of priests; but the old custom was restored by Charles, and though marriages under the previous law were declared valid, many were so scrupulous about the sanction of the church, that they were re-married by clergymen. The Roman Catholic clergy are still required to live in celibacy, unless the pope grants them an especial license to take a wife; and great numbers, both of men and women, seclude themselves in convents, from the idea that there is a peculiar sanctity in single life. In the Greek church, women under fifty years of age are not allowed to become nuns; their priests are required to marry, but in case of a wife’s death are never permitted to marry again. Among the Protestants, I believe there is but one sect, who consider matrimony unholy: the Shakers even require husband and wife to separate when they join their community.
The wedding ceremonies vary in particulars, in different nations and districts, but there is a generalresemblance between all the Christian forms. The intention of marriage is proclaimed in the church, on three successive public days, in order that any one who has legal objections to the match, may have an opportunity to make them known. When the bride and bridegroom stand before the altar, the priest says to the man, “Wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love, honor, and comfort her, and keep her in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?” The bridegroom answers, “I will.” The same question is then asked of the bride, excepting that she is required to “obey and serve,” as well as “love and honor.” Then her father, or guardian, giveth her to the bridegroom, who takes her by the right hand, saying, “I take thee, ——, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.” The bride then takes him by the right hand and repeats the same form, with the addition of the word “obey.” The bridegroom then puts a golden ring on the fourth finger of her left hand, saying, “With this ring I thee wed, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow; in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.” They then kneel before the altar, while the priest utters a prayer for their temporal and eternal welfare;at the close of which, he joins their hands together, saying, “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” Among many of the Protestant sects, weddings are not celebrated in the church, but at the house of the bride’s father, or some near relation. The members of the society of Friends have neither priest nor magistrate to officiate at the ceremony. The bride and bridegroom take each other by the hand, and make the required vows to each other, in presence of the congregation and the elders; a public record of the transaction is made, and attested by witnesses. This society do not allow their members to marry individuals of a different creed. In some parts of Switzerland, a marriage between a Protestant and a Catholic is illegal.
It is a general idea that white is the most proper color for a bridal dress. Garlands and bouquets of orange-buds, and other purely white blossoms, are almost universally worn; and pearls are considered the most appropriate jewels. In Holland, the apartment in which the bride habitually resides, and all the furniture in it, are decorated with garlands; every thing belonging to the bridegroom, even his pipe and tobacco box, is adorned in the same manner; and a triumphal arch is erected before the house, or festoons suspended at the entrance. Among the Tyrolese, and in several other parts of Europe, it is customary for the young couple to be escorted to church by a gay procession, wearing flowers and ribbons, dancing, playing on instruments of music, and firing pistols by the way. A part of Bohemia,called Egra, seems to be the only place where a wedding is not considered an occasion of rejoicing. There it would be deemed indecorous for the bride to appear in white garments, or adorn herself with jewels and flowers. She wears her usual black dress, with a cloak of the same color, with a rosary in one hand, and in the other a veil, with which to cover her during the ceremony. In this dismal attire, she demurely proceeds to church, attended by relations, who preserve the utmost solemnity of countenance.
In Lapland, it is death to marry a girl without consent of her friends. When a young man proposes marriage, the friends of both parties meet to witness a race between them. The girl is allowed at starting the advantage of a third part of the race; if her lover does not overtake her, it is a penal offence for him ever to renew his offers of marriage. If the damsel favors his suit, she may run hard at first, to try his affection, but she will be sure to linger before she comes to the end of the race. Thus no marriages are made contrary to inclination, and this is the probable reason of so much domestic contentment in Lapland.
In the cold climates of Lapland and Iceland, the bride, instead of garlands, wears a crown of silver gilt. In Russia, the priest places silver crowns on the heads of both the young couple; at the marriages of people of rank, these crowns are held over their heads by attendants. In some districts, the peasant bride wears a wreath of wormwood; and in that country of perpetual flagellation, it is an appropriateemblem of her unhappy lot. After the nuptial benediction is pronounced, it is likewise customary to throw a handful of hops on her head, with the wish that she may prove as fruitful as that vine. In some Russian villages, it is customary, before the bridal procession go to church, for a choir of young girls to chant this epithalamium: “A falcon flies in pursuit of a dove. Charming dove, are you ready? Your mate is come to seek you.” The bride timidly answers, “Yes;” and the procession moves forward. After the wedding ceremony is performed, the bridegroom has a right to give his bride “the kiss of love,” holding her by the ears. The Sclavonian women, for a week previous to their marriage, are expected to kiss every man who visits them, in token of general respect and friendship for the sex. Some nations consider the ceremony of betrothal nearly as solemn as that of marriage. Among the Tyrolese, the father of the lover proceeds to the house of the beloved, accompanied by his younger sons, carrying baskets of honey-comb and aromatic plants. When he arrives, she and all her friends rise and salute him. “Welcome, my friend,” says the head of the family; “what brings thee among us?” He replies, “As thou art a father, let me put a question to thy daughter.” He then steps up to the maiden, kisses her forehead, and says: “God bless thee, lovely girl, who remindest me of the days of my youth. I have a son; he loves thee. Wilt thou make my declining years happy?” If the damsel is too much embarrassed to reply, her mother, who is the confidantof her sentiments, answers for her. The young man is then introduced, and receives a kiss from his new parents, and his future bride. Sometimes, in order to try the sincerity of their son’s attachment, the old people will not allow him to be formally betrothed to the object of his choice, till he has made a tour into Switzerland, Bavaria, or Italy, to sell some of the productions of the country. “Go, earn thy wife,” say they; “a good husband must be able to earn bread for his family.” The lover almost invariably returns unchanged, bringing the proceeds of his industry, with the ribbons still waving from his hat, which had been placed there by the idol of his heart.
In some parts of Russia young people are solemnly betrothed, in presence of their families. A garment of skin is spread on the ground, and the young people kneel upon it. When they have interchanged rings, the girl’s father places on their heads one of the household saints, and pronounces a blessing. In former times, he gave his daughter a few smart strokes of the whip, and then delivered the instrument of punishment to his future son-in-law, to signify that he transferred authority to him; but this brutal custom is now abolished. Russian husbands were formerly intrusted with power of life and death over their wives and children; but this law is ameliorated. In Scotland and some other parts of Great Britain, lovers, when they plight their troth to each other, break a small coin, and each one wears half of it next the heart.
In Scotland, a mutual promise to consider each other husband and wife, if it be given in the presence of two witnesses, constitutes a lawful marriage; and in that country, as well as some parts of Germany, if a man makes public acknowledgment that he considers a woman as his wife, it gives her, and all the children she may have borne to him, the same legal rights they would have had, if the marriage had been duly solemnized.
In the polished circles of Europe, whose marriages are generally madepar convenance, the affianced couple do not have frequent opportunities of seeing each other, without the presence of friends. If a gentleman prolonged a visit to his lady after the family had retired to rest, it would be regarded as extremely ungenteel and ridiculous, and in many places would by no means be permitted.
In North Holland, a singular degree of freedom is allowed. A lover comes every Sunday evening “to have a talk” with the girl of his heart, and, having chosen some place apart from the rest of the family, often remains until daybreak. A custom calledkweestenlikewise prevails here, as well as in some parts of Switzerland and Wales. In this case, if the girl is coy, her admirer watches an opportunity to get in at her chamber window, and there urges his suit. This is so far from being considered any harm, that parents, who have marriageable daughters, do not scruple to leave a window open for the express purpose. Those who are shocked at this custom, will do well to remember that great restraints imposedupon young people, however necessary they may be, are always an indication of a corrupt state of society.
It is a general custom in all parts of Christendom for parents to give a dowry with their daughters, proportioned to their wealth; even the poorest generally contrive to bestow a few articles of clothing or furniture. It is likewise an universal practice for friends to send presents to the bride, a few days previous to the wedding. When the Welsh peasantry are about to enter into the matrimonial state, they send a man round to invite their friends, and to declare that any donations they may please to bestow will be gratefully received, and cheerfully repaid on a similar occasion. After the wedding party have partaken a frugal entertainment of bread and cheese, a plate is placed on the table to collect money from the guests; and the young couple generally receive as much as fifty or a hundred pounds to furnish their household establishment. The village girls, in nearly all countries, are ambitious about having a few pieces of cloth, and coverlids, woven in readiness for their marriage portion; but in cities, the extreme poverty of the poor usually prevents even this simple preparation. In the Greek island of Himia, the inhabitants gain a livelihood by obtaining sponges for the Turkish baths; and no girl is allowed to marry, till she has proved her dexterity by bringing up from the sea a certain quantity of this marketable article.
Before the time of Francis the First, one hundredlivres, about fifty pounds, was considered a very handsome dowry for a young lady; but at the present time, a fashionable and wealthy bride would expend a larger sum than that upon a single mirror. In all countries a feast is given to relations and friends, on the occasion of a daughter’s wedding; and the entertainment is more or less bountiful and splendid, according to the circumstances of the bride’s family.
After the ceremony is performed, all the guests congratulate the newly married pair, and wish them joy. The young couple generally choose from among their intimate friends some individuals to officiate as bride’s maids and groom’s men. These friends are dressed in bridal attire, and during the wedding ceremony stand on each side of the bride and bridegroom. In some places, the maidens chosen for this office carry the bride’s gloves and handkerchief. In France, some people still retain the old custom of having a silken canopy supported over the heads of a young couple, by their attendants. Those who affect display have five or six bride’s maids, and as many groom’s men; but it is more common to have one or two of each. The groom’s men are expected to make presents to the bride, and to be among the earliest friends, who call at her new abode. The wedding cake is usually much decorated with flowers, and sugar-work of various kinds. This is offered to all visiters, and a slice neatly done up in paper, and tied with white ribbons, is usually sent to intimate friends. The superstitious depend very much upon having a piece of wedding cake to place undertheir pillows; and if nine new pins from the bride’s dress are placed in it, the charm is supposed to be doubly efficacious. The object is to dream of the individuals they are destined to marry. Sometimes names are written on small slips of paper, rolled up, and placed beside the cake; and the first one taken out in the morning reveals the name of the future spouse.
The Tyrolese place a similar value upon the bride’s garland, and the pins that fasten it. The bride scatters flowers from a basket among the young men of her acquaintance; and these flowers prognosticate their future fortunes; the honeysuckle and alpine lily promise uncommon prosperity, but the foxglove is an omen of misfortune. The Tyrolese bridegroom distributes ribbons among the girls, to the different colors of which they likewise attach prophetic meaning. The Dutch treat their wedding-guests with a kind of liquor called “the bride’s tears;” and small bottles of it, adorned with white and green ribbons, are sent as presents to friends, accompanied with boxes of sweetmeats.
The time between the avowed intention of marriage and the performance of the bridal ceremony varies in different places, and among different ranks. One year seems to be the most general period of courtship; but people of rank are often contracted to each other several years before marriage; and in all nations there are some individuals who marry after a few months’ or a few weeks’ acquaintance.
In Prussia, men are allowed to form what is called a left-handed marriage, in which the ceremonies aresimilar to other marriages, excepting that the left hand is used instead of the right. Under these circumstances, neither the wife nor the children assume the name of the husband, or live in his house, or have a legal claim to dower, or succeed to his estate and titles; but they receive what he pleases to give them during his lifetime, and at his death such legacies as are named in his will. These marriages are principally formed by poor nobles, who already have large families. European monarchs are not allowed to marry into any other than royal families; but they sometimes form left-handed marriages with women, who will not consent to be theirs on less honorable terms.
By the Prussian laws, a man may be imprisoned, and fined half his fortune, or earnings, if he refuses to marry a woman, whom he has deceived with false promises. If he runs away, the woman may be married to him by proxy, and have a legal claim upon him for the maintenance of herself and child.
The laws of most Christian countries do not allow females to dispose of themselves before they are twenty-one years old. If a girl over fourteen marries without the knowledge of her parents, they cannot render the contract void; but if they know of her intention, they have power to forbid the union until she is of age. The consent of both parents is almost universally asked before young people are betrothed; but after they are of age, the opposition of parents cannot prevent marriage, unless the lovers choose to submit, from motives of duty, or filial affection.
By the English laws, it is felony to abduct an heiress, even if her consent to matrimony is obtained after forcible abduction. He who compels a woman to marry by threats is subject to a very heavy fine, and two years’ imprisonment. If any girl is forced or persuaded to marry, before she is twelve years old, the ceremony can be declared null and void. Very severe laws are made to protect females from personal insult. Either man or woman may sue for a breach of promise of marriage, and recover a sum of money according to the aggravated nature of the circumstances. If a father is displeased with his daughter’s marriage, he can refuse to bestow any dowry, and can make a will to prevent her receiving any portion of his fortune. Hereditary estates and titles do not descend to daughters so long as any sons are living; but fathers can leave them by will such estates as are not restricted by some settlement or entail. As a general rule, parents bequeath a larger proportion to sons than daughters; but where there is no will, property is equally divided. Among the rich, who settle marriage contracts with all possible formality, the bridegroom often binds himself to pay a certain annual sum to his wife, for her own peculiar use, which is called pin-money. This phrase probably originated in ancient times, when ornamental pins constituted an important and expensive part of a lady’s dress. It is deemed the husband’s business to purchase furniture, and put the house in readiness for his bride.
Not long ago, an English judge decided that thelaw allowed a man to beat his wife with a stick as big as his thumb; whereupon the ladies sent a request that his thumb might be accurately measured. In the present state of public opinion, any man who availed himself of such permission would be disgraced. Among the lower classes, a husband sometimes puts a rope round his wife’s neck, and sells her in the market; but this is an adherence to old custom not sanctioned by any law.
A husband is bound to pay all the debts his wife may have contracted since she became of age, whether he knew of their existence or not; if she dies before payment is completed, his liability ceases. If a wife is driven away by ill usage, she can claim a separate maintenance, but the husband is no longer liable for her debts; and if she runs away from his house, it is common to put an advertisement in the newspapers warning people that he has ceased to be responsible for expenses she may incur. Both parties can claim divorce, with leave to marry again, in cases of criminal intercourse. Where a woman claims divorce, the husband is adjudged to afford her a maintenance suitable to his wealth; when a man seeks divorce, the wife’s paramour is condemned to pay damages according to the discretion of the court. The court likewise decide with which of the separated parties the children are to remain. Some individuals, especially officers of the army and navy have thought there was something contemptible in adjudging a sum of money in reparation of so great an injury, and have chosen to revenge themselves bysingle combat; but the opinion of the civilized world has been growing more and more opposed to duelling; and it is to be hoped that the last traces of it will soon disappear before the light of the Gospel.
A woman cannot dispose of any property, or bring an action at law, in her own name, during the lifetime of her husband; her signature to a note is of no legal value, because the law considers her as under the guardianship of her husband, and all her property as his. A widow is entitled to one third of her husband’s estate, and any proportion of it may be inherited by his will. Among the wealthy, the bridegroom, before marriage, often settles a jointure upon his bride, which cuts off her right of dower. If a man transfers any landed property without his wife’s signature thereto, the purchaser always remains liable to relinquish a third of it to the widow. Whatever a woman earns, or inherits by legacy, becomes her husband’s, and may be seized by his creditors, or a proportion of it divided among his relations, if he dies without children. To avoid these risks, the whole, or a part of a woman’s fortune, whether inherited before or after marriage, is often put in the hands of trustees, for her especial use. This places it out of the power of creditors, unless it can be shown that the transfer was made with fraudulent intentions.
In Germany such precautions are unnecessary, because the law protects every article of a woman’s property from the creditors of her husband. In France, a widow has no claim on any part of her husband’s fortune, unless he dies without relations,or a particular contract to that effect has been made previous to marriage; but she always retains a right to her dowry, and to any donations or legacies made to her. When a man has no children, he often wills his whole fortune to his wife; and if he has a family, leaves her one quarter of it, or half the income for life. It is likewise a common thing for women to bestow their fortunes on surviving husbands, by will. The right of primogeniture ceased with hereditary estates and titles; and all the children of a French family now inherit an equal share of their parents’ property.
If a Spaniard has heirs in direct succession, his widow can claim only one fifth of the estate, out of which she is obliged to pay the funeral expenses. European women drop the name of their fathers when they marry, and assume that of their husbands. A woman cannot recover damages for breach of promise of marriage, either in France or Spain. In France, and some parts of Germany, in addition to the usual causes for divorce, it is allowable, whenever both parties appear before magistrates, at successive periods, (the interval between which is prescribed by law,) and persevere in expressing a mutual wish for separation. Exceptions are frequently made to the usual laws, in favor of crowned heads. Philip, landgrave of Hesse, applied to Luther for permission to divorce his wife, and marry another, because his princess was plain in her person, sometimes intoxicated, and had a disagreeable breath. The royal petitioner threatened to apply to the pope for a dispensation,in case of refusal; and the synod of six reformers, convoked by Luther, contrived to find good reasons for granting his request. In later times, Napoleon divorced Josephine, by decree of the senate, because she brought him no children.
The women of Christian countries generally nurse their children about one year; though many exceed that time. Among the Catholics and Lutherans, the ceremony of baptism is usually performed privately at the house of the minister, soon after the birth of the child, because they are in haste to administer a rite which they deem necessary for salvation; but other Protestant sects have their children baptized in church, after divine service. The parents stand beside each other when their child is offered for baptism. The father takes the infant from its mother’s arms, and presents it to the priest, who sprinkles it with water, and bestows the baptismal name. Some people request several of their friends to stand as godfathers and godmothers at the baptism of their children. Wealthy relations are very apt to have this compliment paid them, because they are expected to make the infant a present, and bound by a promise at the altar to take some interest in its welfare.
In Holland, it is customary, so long as the mother keeps her room, to treat the children of the house and even of the neighborhood, with sugar-plums, which are rough if the babe is a boy, and smooth if a girl. In Russia, all married people who call to congratulate a friend for having become a mother are expected to slip a piece of money under her pillow, the wealthy usually give a ducat.
It is uncommon for European women to study medicine for the purpose of attending upon their own sex, in seasons of illness; but in some cases it is practised with great success.
Throughout Christendom, the law allows but one wife. Licentiousness abounds in all cities; it is not confined to a class of women avowedly depraved, but sometimes lurks beneath the garb of decency, and even of elegance. In villages there is a better state of things, because the influences of rural life are more pure, and young people generally form marriages of inclination. Even in thrifty Scotland, and phlegmatic Holland, matches of interest are common only among the wealthier classes.
European laws allow widows to marry again, and they very frequently do so, without the slightest imputation of impropriety; but in all nations, she who remains in perpetual widowhood is involuntarily regarded with peculiar respect. In some parts of Illyria and Dalmatia, if the bride or bridegroom have been previously married, but especially if the bride be a widow, the populace follow the wedding party, as they proceed to church, keeping up a continual din with frying-pans and shovels, and loading them with all manner of abuse; sometimes they gather round the house, and make hideous noises all night long, unless the newly married pair purchase exemption by the distribution of wine.
Some degree of blame is everywhere incurred by a widow who marries again within the time prescribed by custom; which is usually one year. Black is thecolor of European mourning. The queens of France formerly wore white as an emblem of widowhood, and were therefore calledreines blanches; but this custom was changed by Anne of Bretagne, who assumed black when Charles the Eighth died. The empress dowagers of Austria never lay aside their mourning, and their apartments are always hung with black. In England, the mourning worn on the death of any of the royal family is purple. The nieces of the pope never wear mourning for any relation.
I believe France is the only country in Europe where women do not inherit the crown. There has been a comparatively greater proportion of good queens, than of good kings. Perhaps it may be that women, distrustful of their own strength, pay more attention to the public voice, and their government thus acquires something of the character of elective monarchies. But independent of this circumstance, illustrious queens have generally purchased celebrity by individual strength of character. In England, nothing was more common than to hear the people talk of king Elizabeth and queen James. Margaret, queen of Denmark and Norway, was called the Semiramis of the North, on account of her capacity to plan and conduct great projects. Spain numbers among her sovereigns no one that can dispute precedence with the virtuous and highly-gifted Isabella of Castile. The annals of Africa furnish no example of a monarch equal to the brave, intelligent, and proud-hearted Zhinga, the negro queen of Angola;and Catherine of Russia bears honorable comparison with Peter the Great. Blanche of Castile evinced great ability in administering the government of France, during the minority of her son; and similar praise is due to Caroline of England, during the absence of her husband.
In the walks of literature, women have gained abundant and enduring laurels; but it cannot be truly said that a Homer, a Shakspeare, a Milton, or a Newton have ever appeared among them. It is somewhat singular that instances of great genius in the fine arts have been more rare among women than any other manifestations of talent. Propertia da Rossi, of Bologna, and the Hon. Mrs. Damer, of England, did indeed gain a considerable degree of distinction as sculptors, and Angelica Kauffman had a high reputation as a painter; but these ladies have had few competitors. Yet in works requiring delicacy, ingenuity, imagination, and taste, women are proverbial for excellence.
When knowledge was confined to a few, and applied principally to the acquisition of languages, which are merely the external forms of thought, men were pedantic, and women were the same; for the correspondence between the character of the sexes is as intimate, as the affections and thoughts of the same individual. In these days, when knowledge is obtained to be applied to use,—when even that pretty and ever-varying toy, the kaleidoscope, is used to furnish new patterns at carpet-manufactories,—female literature is universally more or less practical.Modern female writers are generally known to be women who can make a pudding, embroider a collar, or dance a cotillion, as well as their neighbors. It is no longer deemed a mark of intellect to despise the homelier duties, or lighter graces of the social system. This will, in time, probably make men more liberal with regard to female learning. A writer in the time of Charles the First says, “She that knoweth how to compound a pudding is more desirable than she who skilfully compoundeth a poem. A female poet I mislike at all times.” Within the last century it has been gravely asserted that “chemistry enough to keep the pot boiling, and geography enough to know the location of the different rooms in her house, is learning sufficient for a woman.” Byron, who was too sensual to conceive of a pure and perfect companionship between the sexes, would limit a woman’s library to a Bible and a cookery book. All this is poor philosophy and miserable wit. It is on a par with the dictatorial assertions of the Austrian emperor, that his people will be better subjects, and far more happy, if they are not allowed to learn to read.
One of the most striking characteristics of modern times is the tendency toward a universal dissemination of knowledge in all Protestant communities. It is now a very common thing for women to be well versed in the popular sciences, and to know other languages than their own; and this circumstance, independent of the liberality and sincerity induced by true knowledge, has very perceptibly diminishedthe tendency to literary affectation. Pedantry is certainly not the vice of modern times; yet the old prejudice still lurks in the minds of men, who ought to be ashamed of it. It is by no means easy to find a man so magnanimous, as to be perfectly willing that a woman should know more than himself, on any subject except dress and cookery.
That women are more fond of ornament than men is probably true; but I doubt whether there is so much difference between the personal vanity of the sexes, as has been imagined. Dandies are a large class, if not a respectable one. No maiden lady was ever more irritable under a sense of personal deformity than were Pope and Byron; and Bonaparte was quite as vain of his small foot, as Madam de Staël of her beautiful arms.
In searching the history of women, the mild, unobtrusive domestic virtues, which constitute their greatest charm, and ought always to be the ground-work of their character, are not found on record. We hear of storms and tempests, and northern lights; but men do not describe the perpetual blessing of sunshine.
The personal bravery evinced by women at all periods excites surprise. We hear scarcely any thing of the Phœnician women, except that they agreed to perish in the flames, if their countrymen lost a certain battle, and that they crowned with flowers the woman who first made that motion in the council. The Moorish women of Spain were full of this fiery spirit. When Boabdil wept at takinga farewell glance of beautiful Granada, his proud-hearted mother said, scornfully, “You do well to weep for it like a woman, since you would not defend it like a man.”
The old Hungarian women, when their country was invaded by the Turks, performed prodigies of valor; and now, among the predatory tribes of Illyria and Dalmatia, he who attempted to insult a girl, would find that she wore a dagger and pistol at her belt. But Christianity, which has done so much for woman—which, at a time when its pure maxims could produce nothing better, by reason of man’s own evils, brought forth the generous spirit of chivalry from the iron despotism of the middle ages—Christianity is removing the garlands from the bloody front of war, and teaching her sons and her daughters that evil must be “overcome with good.”
Women are apt to be more aristocratic than men; for the habits of their life compel attention to details, and consequently make them more observing of manners than of principles.
Where the Mohammedan religion prevails, man’s reason is taught to bow blindly to faith, and his affections have little freedom to seek their corresponding truth; in all such countries women are slaves.
At those periods when reason has run wild, and men have maintained that there was no such thing as unchangeable truth, but that every one made it, according to the state of his own will—at such times, there has always been a tendency to have men and women change places, that the latter mightcommand armies and harangue senates, while men attended to domestic concerns. These doctrines were maintained by infidels of the French revolution, and by their modern disciple, Fanny Wright.
Many silly things have been written, and are now written, concerning the equality of the sexes; but that true and perfect companionship, which gives both man and woman complete freedomintheir places, without a restless desire to go out of them, is as yet imperfectly understood. The time will come, when it will be seen that the moral and intellectual condition of woman must be, and ought to be, in exact correspondence with that of man, not only in its general aspect, but in its individual manifestations; and then it will be perceived that all this discussion about relative superiority, is as idle as a controversy to determine which is most important to the world, the light of the sun, or the warmth of the sun.