CHAP.V.
HowJohnconsulted with his friends about the method of retrieving his affairs.
John was a great person for collecting his friends together to have their advice, but for the most part he did just what he pleased for all that; and he had always some point or other in his head, in which it was in vain to contradict him. This was the case now about the malversations of his servants,and though there were many people disposed to soften him, not a mortal durst put in a word. In the height of his passion he abused every thing that had been done, right or wrong, for many years before. They had neglected his new farm upon the common, and sent his horses, his ploughs and carts, to labour Sir Thomas’s land in the east country; they had run him in debt over head and ears, pawned his plate, and mortgaged his estate; they had made his wife, who used to be a notable woman, a mere sot, with ale, brandy, and slops. The nurse had even spoilt his own stomach with nasty mawkish warm drinks, and over-heating his ale. With all this in his head, whenever he went to any of the neighbouring towns, he instantly repaired to the coffee-house,and poured all forth to the first person he met. All the world admired the vigour of his spirit, and the honesty of his intentions, even when he carried matters too far; and we all know, that if the father of such a family does not make a noise sometimes, affairs will be managed but so so.
About this time of which we are now speaking, John had a circle about him wherever he went, and talked of his affairs from morning to night. He testified a particular aversion to the employing of Rousterdivel any more, swore that he himself never would cross the lake upon any body’s errands, and that if any body came over to meddle with him, he would show them that he could defend himself. In all which, Jowler encouragedhim strongly, and repeated every word John could say, in a much higher tone than himself; and next to the point of getting fixed in the management of the business, seemed to have nothing more at heart, than to break off all idle connections, to keep John at home, and put a gun in his own hands, to avoid the disgrace of running to other people for protection on every trifling alarm. Whatever might be done afterwards, Jowler knew this was no time to baulk John in any of his fancies; and accordingly, he assisted in all his consultations, and nobody so loud as he.
One day, when John’s tongue was running on God knows where, he was asked by some of his friends what he intended to do. Do you intend, said they, to ask Lewis Baboon’s pardon for striking himin the manner you did, or do you persist in the design of giving him gentlemany satisfaction? I tell you what, says John, if Lewis Baboon had a thousand Cracket-islands of mine, and that he would give me them all for asking his pardon, I would not do it. He is a vile, over-reaching, undermining, treacherous rogue, and there never will be any peace in the neighbourhood, as long as that fair-tongued rascal is out of his grave. Let him come out in his barge again, and I shall meet him; but I know the rascal, he has perpetually some bad design in his head, and when he is found out, he will bow and scrape, and make compliments; but he does not lay it aside for all that, he only waits for a time to put it in execution, not in a fair gentlemany way, but behindyour back, or when you are asleep, or indisposed: but I will dress his jacket for him, if I find him put his nose upon the lake again.
But only suppose then, said they, that he should slip over in the night, as he has often threatened, with a parcel of his game keepers, and take possession of your parlour and bed-chamber, which are worth more than Cracket-Island to him, do you think, he will give you time to send for Rousterdivel, as you used to do?
All the fires of Sodom and Gomorrah seize me, says John, if ever I send for Rousterdivel with his great tobacco-pipe, his sour crout, and his damned lingo, that nobody can understand.Odds-blood, an’t I as good a man as Rousterdivel or Lewis Baboon? Though I have not so many game-keepers, yet I have as good clean-made fellows about my farm as he; and if my own children will let me be insulted, it is time that John Bull was gone the way of all flesh.
But what can your children do for you, said they, when your wife, and your nurse, and your steward, will not let one of them touch a gun or a cutlass, and think there is no safety but in the dark cellar, or the coal-hole, when there is any disturbance in the yard.
Well, says John, I shall tell them another tale; my boys shall learn to defendme as they used to do. I have seen the time when the stoutest of them all durst not meddle with me, and that time shall return again, if I can get arms enough to furnish my hall, as I always had it, till now.