NO SWORD!
Old Colonel H—— was standing, during one of the summer months, before the open window, puffing the smoke of his Havannah into the air, with the feeling of satisfaction produced by a fine day, while his eyes followed the movements of a young officer, whose elastic figure had already, at some distance, attracted his superior’s attention.
Suddenly his face darkened. No one so soon feels his toes trodden on as an old military man.
What was that? Were his eyes dazzled by the sunlight? Or could anything of the sort possibly happen under the eye of the strict commanding officer of the regiment? Had discipline really died out among the younger generation of the army?
No, it was no optical deception. He could see it now, plainly—the lieutenant, passing there, on the other side of the street, with a letter in his hand, hadnosword on! And it was not nearly fourP.M.!
“Lieutenant!” cried the fire-eater, in a momentary ebullition of indignation, from the open window; “if I may ask you—one moment!”
The man addressed immediately turned with a military salute, and hastened to the Colonel’s rooms, without the slightest presentiment of the storm about to burst over his head.
He rang the bell, and the Colonel’s servant opened the door.
Passing through the hall, he gave a hasty glance at his uniform to see whether it was all right—and then he discovered his misfortune. Horrible! He had, in his haste to post a letter, forgotten to buckle on his sword!
For one moment he hesitated; he was really frightened, and saw, looming up in space, all the evil consequences ofhis mistake, in the form of all possible reports, with “arrest” at the end of them.
The Colonel would send a note to the commander of division, who would endorse and put it into the hands of the captain—and then the fat would be in the fire with a vengeance! All this passed like a flash of lightning through the unhappy man’s head, and he looked helplessly round, as though hoping that some good genius would inspire him with a way of escape in this sore need. What was he to do? He could not keep the cantankerous Colonel waiting,—there was nothing for it except to march valiantly forward into the lion’s den. But luck never forsakes a lieutenant!
What is that glittering over there in the umbrella-stand?
The Colonel’s sword!... He pulls out his purse,—thrusts, with an eloquent gesture, a guilder into the hand of the Colonel’s man, and buckles on the sword—all in less time than it takes to tell it.
A moment later he stands—in correct military attitude, his left hand held so as to hide the dragon on his sword-hilt from the eagle eye of his chief—before the old gentleman, who, meanwhile, has been stalking up and down the room, fretting and fuming.
“Sir! I must call your attention to——”
A long pause.
The Colonel’s glance travels from the sword to the young officer’s blushing face, and back again to the glittering weapon.
Then he shakes his head in utter amazement, but recovers himself speedily, and continues in a low tone:
“What battalion do you belong to?”
“The second, Colonel.”
“Just so. I only wanted to ask you if—if—Major Ij ... has returned from his leave?”
“He is not coming back till to-morrow, sir, if I have understood rightly.”
“IN CORRECT MILITARY ATTITUDE.”
“IN CORRECT MILITARY ATTITUDE.”
“IN CORRECT MILITARY ATTITUDE.”
“Ah!—thank you—it had escaped me—thanks.”
The lieutenant saluted respectfully, left the room with the greatest air of self-confidence, hastened down the stairs, unbuckled the Colonel’s sword—put it away noiselessly among the sticks and umbrellas, after which he hurried away, keeping as close as he could to the wall till he was out of sight.
As for the Colonel, he simply could not believe his eyes! Then something occurred to him. He called his man.
“Did you let the lieutenant in?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Was he wearing a sword when he came in?”
“Yes, sir,” answered he, with imperturbable calm.
The Colonel smote his forehead with his open hand.
The lieutenant’s guilder was well invested.
“Humoristisch Album.”
“Humoristisch Album.”
“Humoristisch Album.”
“Humoristisch Album.”