CHAPTER IV.

CHAPTER IV.

From Cornwall, Mr. Martyn returned to Cambridge, where he continued to assist Mr. Simeon in his church. Although distressed with the consciousness of his sinfulness, and unworthiness to be a minister of Christ, he had comforts also, which assured him that he had an interest in his Divine Redeemer: so that he could confidently say, “I wish for no service but the service of God;—to labour for souls on earth, and to do his will in heaven;” and at another time, “O hasten the day when I shall come to thee; when I shall no more be vexed, and astonished, and pained, at the universal wretchedness of this lost earth. But here would I abide my time, and spend and be spent for the salvation of any poor soul; lie down at the feet of sinners, and beseech them not to plunge into an eternity of torment.” It will be instructive to copy here some pages from his letters and diary, in which he wrote down the state of his feelings at this period.

“We should consider it as a sign for good, my dearest S——, when the Lord reveals to us the almost desperate corruption of our hearts. For, if he causes us to groan under it, as an insupportable burden, he will, we may hope, in his own timegive us deliverance. The pride which I see dwelling in my own heart, producing there the most obstinate hardness, I can truly say my soul abhors. I see it to be unreasonable, I feel it to be tormenting. When I sometimes offer up supplications, with strong crying to God, to bring down my spirit into the dust, I endeavour calmly to contemplate the infinite majesty of the most high God, and my own meanness and wickedness. Or else I quietly tell the Lord, who knows the heart, that I would give him all the glory of every thing, if I could. But the most effectual way I have ever found, is to lead away my thoughts from myself and my own concerns, by praying for all my friends; for the church, the world, the nation; and especially by beseeching, that God would glorify his own great name, by converting all nations to the obedience of faith;—also by praying that he would put more abundant honour on those Christians whom he seems to have honoured especially, and whom we see to be manifestly our superiors. This is at least a positive act of humility, and it is certain that not only will a good principle produce a good act, but the act will increase the principle. But even after doing all this, there will often arise a certain self-complacency which has need to be checked; and in conversation with Christian friends, we should be careful, I think, how self is introduced. Unless we thinkthat good will be done, self should be kept in the back ground, and mortified. We are bound to be servants of all, ministering to their pleasure as far as will be to their profit. We are to ‘look not at our own things, but at the things of others.’ Be assured, my dear S—— that night and day, making mention of you in my prayers, I desire of God to give you to see the depth of pride and iniquity in your heart, yet not to be discouraged at the sight of it: that you may perceive yourself deserving to be cast out with abhorrence from God’s presence; and then may walk in continual poverty of spirit, and the simplicity of a little child. Pray, too, that I may know something of humility. Blessed grace! how it smooths the furrows of care, and gilds the dark paths of life! It will make us kind, tender-hearted, affable, and enable us to do more for God and the gospel, than the most fervent zeal without it.”

“Sept. 30th, 1804.—My mind, this morning, easily ascended to God, in peaceful solemnity. I succeeded in finding access to God, and being alone with him. Could I but enjoy this life of faith more steadily, how much should I ‘grow in grace,’ and be renewed in the spirit of my mind. At such seasons of fellowship with the Father, and his Son Jesus Christ, when the world, and self, and eternity, are nearly in their right places, not only are myviews of duty clear and comprehensive, but the proper motives have a more constraining influence.”

“Oct. 28th.—This has been in general a happy day. In the morning, through grace, I was enabled by prayer to maintain a calm recollection of myself,—and what was better, of the presence of my dear Redeemer. From the church I walked to our garden, where I was above an hour, I trust with Christ, speaking to him chiefly of my future life in his service. I determined on entire devotedness, though with trembling; for the flesh dreads crucifixion. But should I fear pain, when Christ was so agonized for me? No,—come what will, I am determined, through God, to be a fellow worker with Christ. I recollected with comfort, that I was speaking to the great Creator, who can make such a poor weak worm as myself ‘more than conqueror.’ At church I found by the attention of the people, that the fervour of my spirit yesterday had been conveyed into my sermon. I came to my room, rejoicing to be alone again, and to hold communion with God.”

“Dec. 9th.—This has been in general a sweet and blessed day,—a foretaste of my eternal sabbath. Preached on the third commandment: in the afternoon on the tenth. Rode back to Cambridge, feeling quite willing to go any where, or to suffer any thing for God. Preached in Trinity church, onEzek. xxxiii. 11. ‘Say unto them,—As I live saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked: but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel?’ It was pleasant to me to think of being alone again with God.”

“Jan. 1, 1805.—Hitherto hath the Lord helped me. It is now about five years since God stopped me in the career of worldliness, and turned me from the paths of sin:—three years and a half since I turned to the Lord with all my heart:—and a little more than two years since he enabled me to devote myself to his service as a missionary. My progress of late has become slower than it had been: yet I can truly say, that in the course of this time, every successive year, every successive week, has been happier than the former. From many dangerous snares hath the Lord preserved me: in spite of all my inward rebellion, he hath carried on his work in my heart; and in spite of all my unbelieving fears, he hath given me a hope full of immortality;—‘he hath set my foot on a rock, and established my goings, and hath put a new song in my mouth, even praises to my God.’ It is the beginning of a critical year to me: yet I feel little apprehension. The same grace and long suffering, the same wisdom and power, that have brought me so far, willbring me on, though it be through fire and water, to a goodly heritage. I see no business in life but the work of Christ, neither do I desire any employment to all eternity but his service. I am a sinner saved by grace. Every day’s experience convinces me of this truth. My daily sins and constant corruption leave me no hope, but that which is founded on God’s mercy in Christ. His spirit, I trust, is imparted, and is renewing my nature; as I desire much, though I have attained but little. Now to God, the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, would I solemnly renew my self-dedication, to be his servant for ever.”

“I could not help reflecting on the almost supernatural fervour and deep devotion which came upon me, whilst I declared that I had rightfully no other business each day but to do God’s work as a servant, constantly regarding his pleasure.” “My thoughts were full of what God would do for his own glory, in the conversion of multitudes to himself in the latter day. I did not wish to think about myself in any respect, but found it a precious privilege to stand by, a silent admirer of God’s doings.”

In March 1805, he completed the time required, before he could be sent out as a minister, and there was nothing more to detain him from proceeding on his mission. “I rejoice to say,” (he wrote atthis time to his sister,) “that I never had so clear a conviction of my call as at present,—as far as it respects the inward impression. Never did I see so much the exceeding excellency, and glory, and sweetness of the work, nor had so much the favourable testimony of my own conscience, nor perceived so plainly the smile of God. I am constrained to say,—what am I, or what is my father’s house, that I should be made willing;—what am I, that I should be so happy, so honoured?”—In his Journal, likewise, he expresses himself to the same effect: “I felt more persuaded of my call than ever: there was scarcely the shadow of a doubt left;—rejoice, O my soul,—thou shalt be the servant of God in this life, and in the next, for all the boundless ages of eternity.”

In April he went to London, where he remained two months, principally employed in learning Hindoostanee, the language of a large part of India, made up of the Sanscrit, Persian, and Arabic. The entries of his diary during this interval will best exhibit the state of his heart, in anticipation of his employment.

“April 15th.—O may God confirm my feeble resolutions! What have I to do but to labour, and pray, and fast, and watch, for the salvation of my own soul, and those of the heathen world. Ten thousand times more than ever do I feel devoted tothat precious work. O gladly shall this base blood be shed, every drop of it, if India can be benefited in one of her children;—if but one of those children of God Almighty might be brought home to his duty.”

“April 16th.—How careful should I, and all be, in our ministry, not to break the bruised reed! Alas! do I think that a schoolboy, a raw academic, should be likely to lead the hearts of men?—what a knowledge of men, and acquaintance with the Scriptures, what communion with God, and study of my own heart, ought to prepare me for the awful work of a messenger from God on the business of the soul!”

“April 22d.—I do not wish for any heaven upon earth besides that of preaching the precious Gospel of Jesus Christ to immortal souls. May these weak desires increase and strengthen with every difficulty.”

“April 27th.—My constant unprofitableness seemed to bar my approach to God. But I considered that for all that was past, the blood of Christ would atone; and that for the future, God would that moment give me grace to perform my duty.”

“May 9th.—O my soul, when wilt thou live consistently? When shall I walk steadily with God? When shall I hold heaven constantly inview? How time glides away,—how is death approaching,—how soon must I give up my account,—how are souls perishing,—how does their blood call out to us to labour and watch, and pray for them that remain!”

“June 1.—Memory has been at work to unnerve my soul: but reason, and honour, and love to Christ and souls shall prevail. Amen. God help me.”

“June 2.—My dear Redeemer is a fountain of life to my soul. With resignation and peace can I look forward to a life of labour and entire seclusion from earthly comforts, while Jesus thus stands near me, changing me into his own image.”

“June 6th.—God’s interference in supporting me continually, appears to me like a miracle.”

“June 7th.—I have not felt such heart-rending pain since I parted with L—— in Cornwall. [The lady to whom he was attached.] But the Lord brought me to consider the folly and wickedness of all this. I could not help saying,—Go, Hindoos, go on in your misery,—let Satan still reign over you; for he that was appointed to labour among you, is consulting his ease.—No, thought I, earth and hell shall never keep me back from my work. I am cast down, but not destroyed. I began to consider why I was so uneasy,—‘Cast thy care upon him, for he careth for you.’ ‘In every thing by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let yourrequests be made known to God;’—these promises were sweetly fulfilled, before long, to me.”

“July 4th.—Mr. Cecil showed me a letter in Swartz’s own hand writing. Its contents were of a very experimental nature,—applicable to my case. The life of faith in Jesus is what I want. My soul might almost burst with astonishment at its own wickedness! but at the same time, trusting to mercy, rise and go, and try to make men happy. The Lord go with me! Let my right hand forget her cunning, if I remember not Jerusalem above my chief joy.”

On the 8th of July 1805, Mr. Martyn proceeded to Portsmouth, from which place he was to sail in a ship of the East India Company, to Calcutta, there to act as chaplain of the Company. His feelings were so painful, that he fainted and fell into a fit at a tavern on the road. He was met by a number of friends at Portsmouth, who had come to bid him a final farewell, for this life; and he received there a silver compass, sent by his congregation, as a token of remembrance, which he acknowledged in the following letter:

Portsmouth, July 11, 1805.

Portsmouth, July 11, 1805.

“My dearest Brethren,—I write in great haste to thank you most affectionately for the token of your love, which our dear brother and ministerhas given me from you. O may my God richly recompense you for your great affection! May he reward your prayers for me, by pouring tenfold blessings into your own bosoms! May he bless you with all spiritual blessings in Christ Jesus! At the command of God, as I believe, I shall, in a few hours, embark for those regions where your little present may be of use to me, in guiding my way through the trackless desert. I pray that the word of God, which is your compass, may, through the Spirit, direct your path through the wilderness of this world, and bring you in safety to the better country above. I beg your prayers, and assure you of mine. Remember me sometimes at your social meetings, and particularly at that which you hold on the Sabbath morning. Pray not only for my sinful soul,—that I may be kept faithful unto death;—but especially, for the souls of the poor Heathen. Whether I live or die, let Christ be magnified by the ingathering of multitudes to himself. I have many trials awaiting me, and so have you; but that covenant of grace in which we are interested, provides for the weakest, and secures our everlasting welfare.—Farewell, dear Brethren! May God long continue to you the invaluable labours of your beloved minister; and may you, with the blessing of his ministry, grow, day by day, in all spirituality and humility of mind; till God, inhis mercy, shall call you, each in his own time, to the eternal enjoyment of his glory.”

On the 17th July the ship sailed, in company with a fleet, taking an army to India. “It was a very painful moment,” he wrote to one of his friends, “when I awoke, on the morning after you left us, and found the fleet actually sailing down the channel. Though it was what I had anxiously been looking forward to so long, yet the consideration of being parted for ever from my friends, almost overcame me. My feelings were those of a man who should suddenly be told, that every friend he had in the world was dead. It was only by prayer for them that I could be comforted; and this was indeed a refreshment to my soul, because by meeting them at the throne of grace, I seemed to be again in their society.”

The vessel, however, unexpectedly stopped in two days, at Falmouth, an English port, in sight of Cornwall. It was a renewal of the pain of separation to be thus brought again, for a short time, upon the shores which he had supposed he had left for ever. He appears, from his Journal, to have suffered great struggles with his earthly affections: but he was supported by Him who never leaves his disciples to contend alone with the trials of their faith.

“July 29th.—I was much engaged, at intervals,in learning the hymn, ‘The God of Abraham praise;’ as often as I could use the language of it with any truth, my heart was a little at ease.

‘The God of Abraham praise,At whose supreme commandFrom earth I rise, and seek the joysAt his right hand.’‘I all on earth forsake,Its wisdom, fame, and power;And him my only portion make,My shield and tower.’

‘The God of Abraham praise,At whose supreme commandFrom earth I rise, and seek the joysAt his right hand.’‘I all on earth forsake,Its wisdom, fame, and power;And him my only portion make,My shield and tower.’

‘The God of Abraham praise,At whose supreme commandFrom earth I rise, and seek the joysAt his right hand.’

‘The God of Abraham praise,

At whose supreme command

From earth I rise, and seek the joys

At his right hand.’

‘I all on earth forsake,Its wisdom, fame, and power;And him my only portion make,My shield and tower.’

‘I all on earth forsake,

Its wisdom, fame, and power;

And him my only portion make,

My shield and tower.’

“There was something peculiarly solemn and affecting to me in this hymn, and particularly at this time. The truth of the sentiments I knew well enough. But alas! I felt that the state of mind expressed in it was above mine at the time; and I felt loth to forsake all on earth.”

“I went on board in extreme anguish, and found an opportunity in the sloop by which I passed to the ship, to cry, with brokenness of spirit, to the Lord. The words, ‘Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O Israel, My way is hid from the Lord, and my judgment is passed over from my God?’ were brought to my mind with such force, that I burst into a flood of tears, and felt much relieved in my soul, by the thought that God was thus compassionate, and the blessed Lord Jesus a merciful and compassionate High Priest, who condescended to sympathize with me. In the afternoon, it pleased God to give me a holy and blessed seasonin prayer, in which my soul recovered much of its wonted peace.”

Orders for the sailing of the fleet with which his ship was connected, were given on the 10th of August, whilst Martyn was twenty miles in the country. An express was sent after him; but had not an accident happened to the ship in clearing from the harbour, he would have been too late. On the 14th, the fleet anchored again for two weeks, at Cork, in Ireland. He had suffered much from despondence and weakness of health, and speaks in his Journal of the trials of his lot as being far greater than he had expected. But he was blessed also with spiritual consolation, in proportion as he placed his confidence on Him who called him to the service. On one occasion he says,

“After a long and blessed season in prayer, I felt the spirit of adoption drawing me very near to God, and giving me the full assurance of his love. My fervent prayer was, that I might be more deeply and habitually convinced of his unchanging everlasting love, and that my whole soul might be altogether in Christ. I scarcely knew how to express the desires of my heart. I wanted to be all in Christ, and to have Christ for my ‘all in all;’—to be encircled in his ‘everlasting arms, and to be swallowed up altogether in his fulness. I wished for no created good, nor for men to know my experience:but to be one with thee, and live for thee, O God, my Saviour and Lord. O may it be my constant care to live free from the spirit of bondage, at all times having access to the Father. This I feel should be the state of the Christian: perfect reconciliation with God, and a perfect appropriation of him in all his endearing attributes, according to all that he has promised: it is this that shall bear me safely through the storm.”

And some weeks afterwards:

“Sept. 23.—We are just to the south of all Europe, and I bid adieu to it for ever, without a wish of ever revisiting it, and still less with any desire of taking up my rest in the strange land to which I am going. Ah! no,—farewell, perishing world! ‘To me, to live shall be Christ.’ I have nothing to do here, but to labour as a stranger, and by secret prayer and outward exertion, do as much as possible for the church of Christ and my own soul, till my eyes close in death, and my soul wings its way to a brighter world. Strengthen me, O God my Saviour! that, whether living or dying, I may be thine.”

He preached once every Sunday on board the ship, the captain not permitting it more frequently. To make up for this loss, he almost daily read religious books, with remarks of his own, to as many as would assemble to hear him; but he could gain the serious attention of very few.

“Sept. 10th.—Endeavoured to consider what should be my study and preparation for the mission; but could devise no particular plan, but to search the Scriptures, what are God’s promises respecting the spread of the gospel, and of the means by which it shall be accomplished. Long seasons of prayer in behalf of the heathen, I am sure, are necessary; Isaiah lxii. I began Isaiah, and learnt by heart the promises scattered through the first twelve chapters, hoping it may prove profitable matter for meditation as well as prayer. Read the Pilgrim’s Progress, below, amidst the greatest noise and interruption. Notwithstanding the clamour, I felt as if I could preach to a million of noisy persons with unconquerable boldness. We have been becalmed the whole day. I fear my soul has been much in the same state: but I would not that it should be so any longer.”

“Sept. 15th.—Sunday.—‘He that testifieth these things, saith, behold—I come quickly—Amen—even so—come quickly, Lord Jesus!’ Happy John! though shut out from society and the ordinances of grace: happy wast thou in thy solitude, when by it thou wast induced thus gladly to welcome the Lord’s words, and repeat them with a prayer. Read and preached on Acts xiii. 38, 39. In the latter part, when I was led to speak, without preparation, on the all-sufficiency of Christ to savesinners, who come to him with all their sins without delay, I was enabled by divine aid, to speak with freedom and energy: my soul was refreshed, and I retired, seeing reason to be thankful. The weather was fair and, calm, inviting the mind to tranquillity and praise: the ship just moved upon the face of the troubled ocean. I went below in hopes of reading Baxter’s Call to the Unconverted: but there was no getting down, as they were taking out water: so I sat with the seamen on the gun-deck. As I walked in the evening at sunset, I thought with pleasure, but a few more suns, and I shall be where my sun shall no more go down.”

“Sept. 16th.—Two things were much in my mind this morning in prayer; the necessity of entering more deeply into my own heart, and labouring after humiliation, and, for that reason, setting apart times for fasting: as also to devote times for solemn prayer for fitness in the ministry; especially love for souls; and for the effusion of the Spirit on heathen lands; according to God’s command.”

The study of the Hindoostanee language was part of his employment during the voyage. He also instructed some of the young soldiers in mathematics, and read French with a passenger. As they entered the warm latitudes, he found his strength diminishing very fast, and he began to fear he could never be useful, as a preacher, in India. “Butwhat means this anxiety?” he said; “Is it not of God that I am led into outward difficulties, that my faith may be tried? Suppose,” (addressing himself,) “you are obliged to return, or that you never see India, but wither and die here, what is that to you? Do the will of God where you can, and leave the rest to him.”—About this time he was much impressed with this sentence in Milner’s Church History;—“to believe, to suffer, and to love, was the primitive taste;” and he received great encouragement by being thus led to contemplate the examples of those who had been more bold in serving Christ.

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