IX.
“LILLA—but of course he comes for Lilla!” she exclaimed.
She raised herself on her elbow, saw the bed-lamp still burning, and the fashion-paper on the floor beside the bed. The night was not over; there was no grayness yet between the curtains. She must have dropped into a short uneasy sleep, from which Lilla’s loitering expectant figure, floating away from her down an alley of the Park, had detached itself with such emphasis that the shock awoke her.
Lilla and Chris ... but of course they had gone to the Park to meet each other! Why should he have happened to turn in at that particular gate, at that particular hour, unless to find some one who, a few yards off, careless and unconcerned, was so obviously lingering there to be found?
The discovery gave Kate Clephane a sensation of actual physical nausea. She sat up in bed, pushed her hair back from her damp forehead, and repeated the two names slowly, as if trying from those conjoined syllables to disentangle the clue to the mystery. For mystery there was; she was sure of it now! People like Lilla Gates and Chris did not wander aimlessly through Central Park at the secrethour when the winter dusk begins to blur its paths. Every moment of such purposeless lives was portioned out, packed with futilities. Kate had seen enough of that in her enforced association with the idlers of a dozen watering-places, her dreary participation in their idling.
And how the clue, now she held it, explained everything! Explained, first of all, why Chris, the ready, the resourceful, had been so tongue-tied and halting when they met. Why had she not been struck by that before? She saw now that, if she was afraid of him, he was a thousand times more afraid of her! And how could she have imagined that, to a man like Chris, the mere fact of running across a discarded mistress would be disconcerting, or even wholly unpleasant? Who better than he should know how to deal with such emergencies? His past must be strewn with precedents. As her memory travelled back over their life together she recalled their having met, one day at Hadrian’s Villa, a little woman, a Mrs. Guy So-and-so—she had even forgotten the name! She and Chris had been wandering, close-linked—for the tourist season was over, and besides, they cared so little who saw them—through the rich garlanded ruins, all perfume and enchantment; and there, in their path, had stood a solitary figure, the figure of a young woman, pretty, well-dressed, with a hungry melancholy face. A little way behind her, a heavy elderlygentleman in blue goggles and an overcoat was having archæological explanations shouted into his deaf ear and curved hand by a guide with a rasping German accent—and Chris, exclaiming: “By Jove, there are the So-and-sos!” had advanced with outstretched hand, introduced the two women, and poured out upon the melancholy newcomer a flood of laughing allusive talk, half chaff, half sentiment, and all as easily, as unconcernedly as if her great eyes had not, all the while, been pleading, pleading with him to remember.
And then, afterward, when Kate had said to him: “But wasn’t that the woman you told me about once, who was so desperately unhappy, and wanted to run away with you?” he had merely answered: “Oh, not particularly withme, as far as I remember—” and she had hugged his arm closer, and thought how funny he was, and luxuriously pitied the other woman.
Yes; that was the real Chris; always on the spot, easy-going and gay. The stammering evasive apparition in the Park had no resemblance to that Chris; Kate knew instinctively that it was not the fact of meeting her that had so disturbed him, but the fact that, for some reason, the meeting might interfere with his plans. But what plans? Why, his plans with Lilla—which would necessarily bring him in contact with the clan, since they so resolutely backed Lilla up, and thus expose him to—to what?To Kate’s betraying him? For a moment she half-laughed at the idea.
For what could she do to injure him, after all? And, whatever his plans were, how could he ever imagine her interfering with them, when to do so would be to betray her own secret? She lay there in the dreary dawn and tried to work her way through the labyrinth. And then, all at once, it came to her: what if he wanted to marry Lilla? And what more probable than that he did? It was evident that living with his people and administering Mr. Maclew’s philanthropies was not a life that he would have called “fit for a dog”. He liked money, she knew, for all his careless way; he wanted to have it, but he hated to earn it. And if he married Lilla there would be plenty of money. The Drovers would see to that—Kate could imagine nothing more likely to unloose their purse-strings than the possibility of “settling” Lilla, and getting rid of the perpetual menace that her roving fancies hung over her mother’s neatly-waved head. Chris, of course, was far too clever not to have seen that, and worked out the consequences in his own mind. If Lilla had been plain and dowdy he wouldn’t even have considered it—Kate did him that justice. If he liked money he liked it in a large lordly way, and only as one among several things which it was convenient but not essential to have. He would never do a base thing for money; but, after all, there was nothingbase in marrying Lilla if he liked her looks and was amused by her talk, as he probably was. There was one side of Chris, the side Kate Clephane had least explored, and was least capable of understanding, which might very well find its complement in Lilla....
Kate’s aching eyes continued to strain into the future. If that were really his plan, of course he would be afraid of her! For he knew her too, knew her ever so much better than she did him, and would be sure to guess that, much as she would want to cover up their past, she would not hesitate a moment between revealing it and doing what she called her duty. Her duty—how he used to laugh at the phrase! He told her she had run away from her real duties only for the pleasure of inventing new ones, and that to her they were none the less duties because she imagined them to be defiances. It was one of the paradoxes that most amused him: the picture of her flying from her conscience and always meeting it again in her path, barely disguised by the audacities she had dressed it up in.
Yes; evidently he had asked himself, on the instant, what she would do about Lilla; and the mere fact made her feel, with a fierce desperation, that she must do something. Not that she cared a straw about Lilla, or felt the least “call” to save her—but to have Chris in the family, in the group, to have to smile at him across the Clephane dinner-table,the Drover dinner-table, all the family dinner-tables, to have to keep up, for all the rest of her life, the double pretence of never having liked him too much, and of now liking him enough to gratify the pride and allay the suspicions of the family—no, she could not imagine herself doing it! She was right to be afraid of him; he was right to be afraid of her.
The return to daylight made her nocturnal logic seem absurd; but several days passed before her agitation subsided. It was only when she found life continuing undisturbed about her, Anne painting for long rapturous hours, Lilla following her same bored round of pleasure, the others placidly engaged in their usual pursuits, and no one mentioning Chris’s name, or apparently aware of his existence, that the shadow of her midnight imaginings was lifted.
Once or twice, as the sense of security returned, she thought of letting Chris’s name fall, ever so casually, in Fred Landers’s hearing. She never got as far as that; but one day she contrived, in speaking of some famous collection of books just coming into the market, to mention Horace Maclew.
Landers’s eye kindled. “Ah, what books! His Italian antiphonals are probably the best in the world.”
“You know him, then? How—is it long since you last saw his library?” she stammered.
He considered. “Oh, years; not since before the war.”
Her heart rose on the mounting hope. “Oh, not since then?... I suppose he must have a very good librarian?”
“Used to have; the poor chap was killed in the war, I believe. That reminds me that I heard the other day he was looking for some one.”
“Looking for a librarian?” She heard her voice shake. “Not for a private secretary?”
She thought he looked surprised. “I don’t think so; but I really don’t remember. I know he always has a lot of scribes about him; naturally, with so many irons in the fire. Did you happen to hear of any one who was looking for that sort of job? It might be a kindness to let Maclew know.”
She drew her brows together, affecting to consider. “Where did I hear of some one? I can’t remember either. One is always hearing nowadays of people looking for something to do.”
“Yes; but of few who can do anything. And Maclew’s the last man to put up with incompetence. You must come and see him with me. He’s not an easy customer, but he and I are old members of the Grolier Club and he lets me bring a friend to see his library occasionally. I’ve always promised to take Anne, some day when she’s going on to Washington.”
Kate’s heart gave a sharp downward plunge.That “Take Anne” reverberated in her like a knell. What a fool she had been to bring the subject up! If she had not mentioned Horace Maclew’s name Landers might never have thought of his library again; at least not of the promise to take Anne there. Well, it was a lesson to hold her tongue, to let things follow their course without fearing or interfering. Happily Anne, more and more absorbed in her painting, seemed to have no idea of a visit to Washington; she had never mentioned such a plan, beyond once casually saying: “Oh, the Washington magnolias ... some spring I must go there and paint them.”
Some spring ... well, that was pleasantly indefinite. For Chris was not likely to remain long with Horace Maclew. Where had Chris ever remained long? Kate Clephane did not know, now, whether to tremble at that impermanence or be glad of it. She did not know what to think about anything, now that the thought of Chris had suddenly re-introduced itself into the smooth-running wheels of her existence.
Then, as the days passed, her reassurance returned again, and it was with a stupefied start that one afternoon, crossing the Park on her way to the studio, she once more caught sight of Lilla Gates. This time the person for whom she had presumably been waiting was with her, and the two stood in close communion. The man’s back was turned, buthis figure, his attitude, were so familiar to Kate that she stopped short, trembling lest she should see his face.
She did not see it. He and Mrs. Gates were in the act of leave-taking. Their hands met, they lingered for a last word, and then separated, each hastening away in a direction other than Kate’s. She continued to stand motionless after they had vanished, uncertain yet certain. It was Chris—but of course it was Chris! He came often to New York, then, in spite of what he had said about the difficulty of getting away. If he had said that, it was probably just because he wanted to keep his comings and goings from Mrs. Clephane’s knowledge. And that again would tally with what she suspected as to his motives. She turned sick, and stood with compressed lips and lowered head, as if to close her senses against what was coming. At length she roused herself and walked on.
Lilla.... Lilla.... Chris and Lilla!
She kept on her way northward, following the less frequented by-ways of the Park. It was early yet, and she wanted to walk off her agitation before joining Anne at the studio.
Lilla.... Lilla.... Chris and Lilla!
Something must be done about it, something must be said—it was impossible that this affair, whatever it was, should go on unchecked. But had she, Kate Clephane, any power to prevent it? Probably not—herintervention might serve only to precipitate events. Well, at least she must know what was coming—must find out what the others knew.... Her excitement increased instead of subsiding: as she walked on she felt the tears running down her face. Life had seemed, at last, so simple, so merciful, so soothing; and here were all the old mysteries and duplicities pressing on her again. She stopped, out of breath, and finding herself at the extreme northern end of the Park, with the first street-lights beginning to gem the bare trees. The need to be with Anne suddenly seized her. Perhaps, by dropping a careless word or two, she might learn something from her daughter—learn at least if the baleful Lilla were using the girl as a confidant, as that brief scene in the studio had once suggested. On that point, at any rate, it was the mother’s right, her duty even, to be informed. She had made no appointment to meet Anne that afternoon; and she hastened her pace, fearing to find that her daughter had already left the studio....
A light through the transom reassured her. She put her key in the lock, threw off her cloak in the little entrance-hall, and pushed open the door beyond. The studio was unlit except by the city’s constellated lamps, hung like a golden vintage from an invisible trellising of towers and poles, and by the rosy gleam of the hearth. Anne’s easel had been pushed aside, and Anne and another person weresitting near each other in low chairs, duskily outlined against the fire. As Mrs. Clephane crossed the threshold a man’s voice was saying gaily: “What I want is a rhyme forastrolabe. I must have it! And apparently there is none; at least none exceptbabe. And so there won’t be any poem. That’s always my luck. I find something ... or somebody ... who’s just what I want, and then....”
Kate Clephane stood still, enveloped by the voice. It was the first time she had heard those laughing confiding inflexions addressed to any ear but hers. Southern sunshine scorched her; the air seemed full of flowers. She hung there for a moment, netted in tightening memories; then she loosed her hold on the door-handle and advanced a few steps into the room. Her heels clicked on the bare floor, and the two by the fire rose and turned to her. She fancied her daughter’s glance conveyed a faint surprise—was it even a faint annoyance at her intrusion?
“Mother, this is Major Fenno. I think you know him,” the girl said.
Chris came forward, simple, natural, unembarrassed. There was no trace of constraint in his glance or tone; he looked at Mrs. Clephane almost fraternally.
“Dear Mrs. Clephane—a rhyme forastrolabe!” he entreated, with that half-humorous way he had of flinging the lasso of his own thought over anybodywho happened to stray within range; and then, with one of his usual quick transitions: “I got a chance to run over to New York unexpectedly, and I heard you were in town, and went to see you. At your house they told me you might be here, so I came, and Miss Clephane was kind enough to let me wait.”
“I was afraid you weren’t coming,” the girl added, looking gravely at her mother.
In spite of the blood drumming in her head, and the way his airy fib about having heard she was in town had drawn her again into the old net of their complicities, Kate was steadied by his composure. She looked from him to Anne; and Anne’s face was also composed.
“I had the luck,” Chris added, “to meet Miss Clephane after I was invalided home. She took pity on me when I was in hospital on Long Island, and I’ve wanted to thank her ever since. But my boss keeps me on a pretty short chain, and I can’t often get away.”
“It’s wonderful,” said the girl, with her quiet smile, “how you’ve got over your lameness.”
“Oh, well—” he had one of his easy gestures—“lameness isn’t the hardest thing in the world to get over. Especially not with the care I had.”
Silence fell. Kate struggled to break it, feeling that she was expected to speak, to say something, anything; but there was an obstruction in her throat,as if her voice were a ghost vainly struggling to raise its own grave-stone.
Their visitor made the automatic motion of consulting his wrist-watch. “Jove! I hadn’t an idea it was so late. I’ve got barely time to dash for my train!” He stood looking in his easy way from mother to daughter; then he turned once more to Kate.
“Aren’t you coming over to see the great Maclew library one of these days? I was just telling Miss Clephane—”
“Uncle Fred has always promised to take me,” the girl threw in.
“Well, that settles it; doesn’t it, Mrs. Clephane?” This time he wavered a second before the “Mrs.”, and then carried it off triumphantly. “As soon as you can make a date, will you wire me? Good!” He was holding out his hand. Kate put hers in it; she did not mind. It was as if she had laid a stone in his palm.
“It’s a go, then?” he repeated gaily, as he shook hands with Anne; and the door closed on him.
“Major Fenno”—. Kate repeated the name slowly as she turned back toward the fire. She had never heard of his military rank. “Was he wounded?” she asked her daughter suddenly.
“At Belleau Wood—didn’t you know? I thought you might have—he was mentioned in despatches. He has the Legion of Honour and the D.S.M.”Anne’s voice had an unwonted vibration. “But he never talks of all that; all he cares about is his writing,” she added.
She was gathering up her brushes, rubbing her pallet with a rag, going through all the habitual last gestures with her usual somewhat pedantic precision. She found something wrong with one of the brushes, and bent over the lamp with it, her black brows jutting. At that moment she reminded her mother of old Mrs. Clephane; somehow, there was an odd solace in the likeness.
“If he comes for anybody it’s for Lilla,” the mother thought, as her eyes rested on her daughter’s stern young profile; and again she felt the necessity of clearing up the mystery. On the whole, it might be easier to question Anne, now that the name had been pronounced between them.
Major Fenno—and he had been wounded.... And all he cared about was his writing.