5. The Gift of Silence
ALTHOUGH I write just the things I feel, my book is an effort: but I am glad of this. That I have no liking for any literary task and hate all correspondence I regard as a gift. My mother has a rarer gift: she does not talk. She speaks when she has something to say and never utters empty words. O but she is eloquent! She clothes her thoughts with simple language and stops at the right moment; it is a well-timed pause in which her face counts. Her intermittent silence is a master stroke; it gives the samesense of space that I would have in my picture. Perhaps it is beyond art, but it is all hers without an effort; arising out of her good soul it belongs to her nature.
I see her too little; her home is in a village on the coast and mine in an inland city. That I shall miss her one day is the miserable thought I cannot get rid of without seeing her. O but when I arrive my fears vanish in a moment, for she lives for me. She is dear to look upon: but when she looks at me my sense of spiritual security is greater than can ever be described. I feel the influence of her peace which brings mine back to me. Her eyes are aglow from silent thoughts of me, andI stay with no other desire than to be with her and believe in immortality—believe all her belief!