VII.KINDLING-WOOD.
“LISTENERS never hear any good of themselves.” It is really unfair, however, to rank myself in so unworthy a class. No mean listener I, but an earnest inquirer, seeking light on any and every branch of domestic science.
Votaries of the great sciences, it is said, while pursuing their studies with a view to some particular facts or truths, often stumble upon others which are quite as important. And in like manner a few days since, while continuing my observations on the mental status of the women of Tweenit village, did I stumble upon some facts in regard to the opposite sex, which are really worth attending to, and which, at the time, reminded me of the proverb about listeners; for I had the mortification—it was one day when Mrs. Melendy and a few of the neighbors dropped in to help Mrs. Fennel quilt—of hearing man discussed in his capacity of light-wood provider.
“Men-folks” as kindling-splitters! Are husbands, sons, and brothers ready for the question? Have they clear consciences on this point? How many can fearlessly invoke the spirit of free inquiry?
“And now you’re married, you must be good,And keep your wife inkindling-wood,”
“And now you’re married, you must be good,And keep your wife inkindling-wood,”
“And now you’re married, you must be good,
And keep your wife inkindling-wood,”
runs the old rhyme. A wise injunction, but one not universally obeyed; that is, if the husbands of Tweenit are representative men in this respect. The heart-rending experiences which were related that day!—the anxieties, perplexities, calamities, agonies! all of which might have been averted by “light wood,” as some of them call it.
Onesufferertook a “sight o’ pains” with her cake, “separated” the eggs, “braided” the sugar and butter; but—it fell. Green pine was its ruin. Miss Janet’s dumplings “riz right up, light as a feather, the first of it, but came out soggy; and all for lack of a little flash under the pot.” Another “had out-of-town company come unexpected one day; and, because there was no light wood on hand to start up a fire in the front-room, they had to sit right down in the kitchen, and see every thing that was going on.” Mrs. Melendy’s (Mary Melendy’s) Dicky was taken ill in the night; and there was anagonizing delay in steeping the “seeny,” on account of Mr. Melendy’s having forgotten to “split the kindling over night.”
And so on, and so on. Men were always apt to forget the kindling, Mrs. Melendy said, but always expected their dinner,whatever; and expected light victuals from green pine-wood! Light wood made heavy wood go better. Men didn’t understand how tried a woman was with worrying over her fire, and with not having things convenient.
Here the talk diverged, and ran upon things convenient that each would like to have. One wanted a slide-door cut through into the buttery, to save running all the way round with the dishes; another, an oil-carpet, to save washing floor; another, netting in every window and outside door, to save “fighting flies;” another, stationary tubs, with pipes to let the water in and out, such heavy work, lifting tubs! another would have a washer and wringer; another, water let into her sink; and still another wanted her sink-room floor raised up level with the kitchen, it made her back ache so to keep stepping up and down all the time!
And, from things convenient, they went to things pleasant, that “’twould be so nice to have!” Among these were mentioned canary-birds, a melodeon,a magazine, Madame Demorest’s Monthly, a set of handsome furniture, lots of pictures, a window built out for keeping plants through the winter, a bathing-room, a set of furs, a whole barrel of lemons and oranges, a lavender-colored poplin dress; and one of the company would like to take a little journey.
I observed that these conveniences and pleasures were spoken of in a jesting, almost sarcastic tone, as if the likelihood of obtaining them were about equal to that of obtaining the crown-jewels of England. In regard to the first, the conveniences, “My husband can’t afford it,” was a phrase used so often, as to set me to thinking, and that quite seriously. These domestic phrases all have a bearing on my present studies.
“Can’t afford it!” Now, it is a question well worth considering, what are the things to be afforded.
In the first place, what is our most precious possession, the best worth having, the best worth saving? Why, life, to be sure! “All that a man hath will he give for his life.” “Any thing to save life” is a remark frequently heard.
The next point that I wish to make is, that a woman who overworks sacrifices her life. I have heard women speak of being so tired they could not sleep,but lay all night with “nerves a-trembling,” and rose in the morning unrefreshed. Now, no human being can live long in such a condition as that. Well, then, if overwork kills, whatever saves work saves life. Life is the most precious possession: therefore, money spent in saving work is money well spent; and the answer to our question is, that conveniences are the things to be afforded.
But men, that is, many men, do not consider the subject in this light. Apparently, those women were right in saying that a man “don’t understand” how “tried” a woman is with not having things convenient. Apparently, men “don’t understand” that such words as “backache,” “headache,” “nervous,” “trembling,” mean wearing out.
I recollect several cases in which a husband let himself be importuned for some “convenience,” week after week, and granted it at last with the bearing of a person doing an inestimable favor; as if he were an outside party, having no interest in the affair at all. I believe, that if Mr. Fennel should provide Mrs. Fennel with “stationary tubs, with pipes to let the water in and out,”—tubs, mind, in which to wash his own clothes,—he would consider himself entitled to her everlasting gratitude. At any rate, I see that whenever a washerwomanis hired, the money to pay her comes hard, as hard as lifting the tubs does to Mrs. Fennel and Martha.
I have a friend, who, after his wife really had been injured by bringing water from a well, did at last, by reason of her importunity, put a pump in the sink. And, ever since that great job was accomplished, whenever she asks for any thing which can possibly be done without, “that pump” serves as an excuse for refusing. Yes, and probably “that pump” will be made to throw cold water on dress, carpet, magazine, or melodeon for many a year to come.
Now, my friend was interested in “that pump” just as much as his wife, only she never had allowedhim to find it out. If, when the pailful he brought in the morning—and which he “didn’t understand” why it should not last all day—was used up, if then she had let the dinner stop cooking, why, that would have made him “understand.” But, instead of doing this, she went to the well herself, knowing that he would “expect his dinner, whatever,” to quote Mrs. Melendy.
And observation has shown me that the majority of men, both in Tweenit and out of Tweenit, expect a great deal of women “whatever.” They expect a woman will always be good-natured; will keep the whole house in order; will let nothing be wasted; will bear to be found fault with; will never find fault; will have the children look neat; will cook three meals a day; will always have light bread; will wash and iron, make and mend, entertain company, and, if possible, get along without hired help. Yet they do not, as a general thing, exert themselves overmuch to provide her with conveniences, still less with pleasures. Really, this is something like “expecting light victuals from green pine-wood”!
And, now I think of it, I wonder if there be not in the lives of some women too much “green pine;” if some husbands don’t “forget the kindling”all the way through. Mrs. Melendy said that “light wood” would make the heavy wood go better. I wonder if a little “light wood” now and then, in the shape of a pleasure-trip, or of books, music, conveniences, sets of furs, and pretty things in the house, or even of an appreciative or commendatory word, would not make woman’s heavy burden of work go better.