A MASH IN COURT
A bashful, blushing maiden fair it wasWho to the altar bent her way,A-trembling on her future spouse’s arm,To Justice Rome Van Rennsler Day.The judge looked through his nose-pinched specs and smiled,“Ah, ha! Two dollars for a fee.”Then when the ceremony was over, rose,“I guess I’ll kiss the bride,” says he.The groom was game, and led the justice downTo where the wedding party sat;But law! the judge was really so excitedHe didn’t know just where he was at.But on he stumbled, and the groom cried out,“You’re making it fine, so hurry on.”The bride just flinched and turned her pretty head,While the judge picked out a dress of lawn.Our blushing bride had worn a crepe de chene,—The bride’s maid a lawn did grace,—But the judge seized on the first he came to there,And planted a smack on her ruby face.“Why, what’s the matter?” all the guests did cry,As the lawn flew through the questioning throng.Alas! the judge had kissed the maid instead,And the dad-blamed kiss went wrong.Now what could the poor excited justice do?The first kiss for the bride was lost—“Impertinence! How dare you?” the maid did scream.“I’ll get you arrested at any cost.”The bride got angry, too, at such a muddle,And said she’d aid the maid for spite—But what was the legal remedy, I ask;For the judge couldn’t pull himself by right?
A bashful, blushing maiden fair it wasWho to the altar bent her way,A-trembling on her future spouse’s arm,To Justice Rome Van Rennsler Day.The judge looked through his nose-pinched specs and smiled,“Ah, ha! Two dollars for a fee.”Then when the ceremony was over, rose,“I guess I’ll kiss the bride,” says he.The groom was game, and led the justice downTo where the wedding party sat;But law! the judge was really so excitedHe didn’t know just where he was at.But on he stumbled, and the groom cried out,“You’re making it fine, so hurry on.”The bride just flinched and turned her pretty head,While the judge picked out a dress of lawn.Our blushing bride had worn a crepe de chene,—The bride’s maid a lawn did grace,—But the judge seized on the first he came to there,And planted a smack on her ruby face.“Why, what’s the matter?” all the guests did cry,As the lawn flew through the questioning throng.Alas! the judge had kissed the maid instead,And the dad-blamed kiss went wrong.Now what could the poor excited justice do?The first kiss for the bride was lost—“Impertinence! How dare you?” the maid did scream.“I’ll get you arrested at any cost.”The bride got angry, too, at such a muddle,And said she’d aid the maid for spite—But what was the legal remedy, I ask;For the judge couldn’t pull himself by right?
A bashful, blushing maiden fair it wasWho to the altar bent her way,A-trembling on her future spouse’s arm,To Justice Rome Van Rennsler Day.
A bashful, blushing maiden fair it was
Who to the altar bent her way,
A-trembling on her future spouse’s arm,
To Justice Rome Van Rennsler Day.
The judge looked through his nose-pinched specs and smiled,“Ah, ha! Two dollars for a fee.”Then when the ceremony was over, rose,“I guess I’ll kiss the bride,” says he.
The judge looked through his nose-pinched specs and smiled,
“Ah, ha! Two dollars for a fee.”
Then when the ceremony was over, rose,
“I guess I’ll kiss the bride,” says he.
The groom was game, and led the justice downTo where the wedding party sat;But law! the judge was really so excitedHe didn’t know just where he was at.
The groom was game, and led the justice down
To where the wedding party sat;
But law! the judge was really so excited
He didn’t know just where he was at.
But on he stumbled, and the groom cried out,“You’re making it fine, so hurry on.”The bride just flinched and turned her pretty head,While the judge picked out a dress of lawn.
But on he stumbled, and the groom cried out,
“You’re making it fine, so hurry on.”
The bride just flinched and turned her pretty head,
While the judge picked out a dress of lawn.
Our blushing bride had worn a crepe de chene,—The bride’s maid a lawn did grace,—But the judge seized on the first he came to there,And planted a smack on her ruby face.
Our blushing bride had worn a crepe de chene,—
The bride’s maid a lawn did grace,—
But the judge seized on the first he came to there,
And planted a smack on her ruby face.
“Why, what’s the matter?” all the guests did cry,As the lawn flew through the questioning throng.Alas! the judge had kissed the maid instead,And the dad-blamed kiss went wrong.
“Why, what’s the matter?” all the guests did cry,
As the lawn flew through the questioning throng.
Alas! the judge had kissed the maid instead,
And the dad-blamed kiss went wrong.
Now what could the poor excited justice do?The first kiss for the bride was lost—“Impertinence! How dare you?” the maid did scream.“I’ll get you arrested at any cost.”
Now what could the poor excited justice do?
The first kiss for the bride was lost—
“Impertinence! How dare you?” the maid did scream.
“I’ll get you arrested at any cost.”
The bride got angry, too, at such a muddle,And said she’d aid the maid for spite—But what was the legal remedy, I ask;For the judge couldn’t pull himself by right?
The bride got angry, too, at such a muddle,
And said she’d aid the maid for spite—
But what was the legal remedy, I ask;
For the judge couldn’t pull himself by right?