THE SECOND STORY BROTHERS

Out of the hole came a giant

"So," said the giant, rubbing a lump over his left eyebrow, "you're the chap who thumped me, eh? What do you mean by such actions?"

"Noth—noth—nothing," stammered Jack. "I—I—I didn't know you were in there. I—I—I was digging for worms."

"I don't believe it," growled the giant. "You were digging to find out if I was dead. Well, I'm not, even if my fall did drive me underground. And now I'll thank you to hand over my magic harp, and my money bags, and my hen that lays the golden eggs."

"I—I—I don't know what you're talking about," said Jack. "I haven't got your harp, or your hen, or your money bags. All I've got is a can of worms and a fishing line. You must have mistaken me for somebody else."

"Hum!" said the giant, looking at him sharply, "well, maybe I have. What is your name?"

"Jack," answered the boy.

"Jack," bellowed the giant. "Did you say Jack?"

"Why—why, yes," replied our hero. "What—what of it?"

"What of it?" repeated the monster, "why everything of it. You tell me your name is Jack and yet you say you don't know anything about my harp, or my hen, or my money bags. I suppose you'll say next you didn't cut down the beanstalk and almost make me break my neck?"

"Never," shouted Jack, "I never did. I never had a beanstalk. It was that other Jack in the story. You needn't blame it on me."

And he said it so earnestly the giant hesitated. "Well," he grumbled, scratching his head and frowning at the boy, "I may be wrong but it seems very queer that your name should be Jack also. And it seems even queerer that you should be digging in the exact spot where I fell down the beanstalk. Hang it all, I don't know what to think." Then suddenly he clapped his hands together like thunder. "I know what I'll do, I'll take you back home and ask my wife. She has a wonderful memory for faces and she can tell if any one can." And with that he caught up Jack and commenced to climb the grapevine.

"Oh," cried the boy, peering out of the pocket where the giant had tucked him, "this isn't a beanstalk, this is a grapevine and it isn't very strong. You'll have another fall if you don't look out."

"I can't help it," said the giant, "I must find my wife."

And he went on climbing, and climbing, and climbing, which much surprised Jack for he had no idea the grapevine was so high, and he had thought sure it would break when the giant got upon it. But it did nothing of the sort, and at last they came to the end and found themselves standing before the giant's house.

"Now," said the giant, "we'll soon find out whether you're the wrong Jack or not."

But when they reached the front door he gave a shout, for there he saw a sign which said:

TO LET

and found that all the shutters were shut and not a soul about.

"Zounds!" yelled the monster, "whatisthe matter, and where is everybody? And what does 'to let' mean?"

"Why," said Jack, crawling out of the giant's pocket and sliding down his leg to the ground, "I think it means that your house is for rent to anybody that wants it. Your wife must have moved away."

"What?" bawled the giant, "my wife gone and my house left for any one that wants it? Oh, wait until I catch her!"

Then he stamped his feet and tore his beard, and carried on something dreadfully, until he had to sit down on the grass to get his breath.

"Well," he said, after a pause, "the only thing to do is to hunt until we find her, for I can't find out whether you're the wrong Jack until she sees you. So come along and we'll see if the neighbors can tell us anything."

Whereupon he set off across the country with Jack running by his side until presently they came to a tumble-down cottage.

"Here is where Goog, the ogress lives," said the giant. "She belonged to the same sewing circle as my wife so maybe she knows where she is." And he knocked at the cottage door.

"Why, hello, Blunderbuss!" exclaimed the ogress, smiling a very bristly sort of a smile as she answered the summons. "Where did you come from? I thought you were dead."

"Indeed," said Blunderbuss, "and I suppose my wife thought the same thing and that is the reason she has locked up my house and marked it 'to let.'"

"Exactly," replied Goog. "She waited and waited after you fell down the beanstalk and then decided you had broken your neck. So she closed the house, sold the family jewels to get spending money, and then started out to enjoy herself for once in her life."

"Started out to enjoy herself," repeated the giant. "That's a nice way for a lady to act when she thinks her husband has broken his neck. And where is she now, pray?"

"I couldn't say," replied the ogress. "Seeing as we belonged to the same sewing circle I invited her here, but she just sniffed and said she had no use for the lower classes now, so I guess she is cutting up high jinks somewhere."

"Scandalous!" said the giant, "but I am not going to give up searching until I find her, for I want to know whether this boy is the one who planted the beanstalk and took my things. He says his name is Jack, but beyond that I can't be sure, but I think my wife could tell the moment she saw him, she has such a fine memory. Good morning."

So they bade the ogress good-by and resumed their travels until presently, as they rounded a bend in the road, they saw before them a towering castle of brass, all gleaming in the sun.

"This," said Blunderbuss, "is the house of the Duke of Dishwater, and I'm going to see if my wife is here, for although he is very, very swell, he is also very, very poor, and it is quite possible that Mrs. Blunderbuss with all that spending money, has been able to break through his reserve and get invited for the week end."

With that he struck the castle gate a blow with his fist and it swung open admitting them to a huge courtyard where the Duke, an exceedingly haughty looking gentleman with a Roman nose and a ruff about his neck, stood waiting for them.

"How do you do?" cried the giant, "is my wife here? If she is I'll pull your castle up by the roots and twirl it around my head. If she isn't, I'll have to hunt elsewhere. Hurry up, say what you've got to say. I have no time to lose."

"Why—why—well—well—" stammered the Duke, "I—I—I think under the circumstances I had better say she isnothere."

"All right," said the giant, "then I'll be trotting along, but I'll leave this boy with you. Put him in your safe deposit box, for when I find my wife I'll have need of him."

Then kicking the gate open again he strode through it and down the road out of sight.

For a moment the Duke of Dishwater looked at Jack, and Jack looked at the Duke of Dishwater. After which the nobleman took off his wig and mopped his head nervously with his handkerchief. "My, my," he said, fretfully, "whoever heard of pulling one's castle up by the roots. Wretched taste, I call it."

"But," said Jack, "he won't do it if Mrs. Blunderbuss isn't here."

"Quite so," said the Duke, "but Mrs. Blunderbussishere. She has been visiting us for a week."

"Then," said Jack, severely, "you told a fib."

"Not a regular fib, no sir-ee," replied the Duke, "I only said 'under the circumstances' I had better say she wasn't here, so he wouldn't pull my castle up. And now the next thing is to see she isn't here when he comes back. Excuse me."

With that he rushed indoors and yelled forhiswife to tell the giant's wife to pack up her things and go away right off.

But when the Duchess told Mrs. Blunderbuss as politely as she could that it was time for her to go home, the giant's wife was perfectly furious.

"Never in all my life have I been so insulted," she cried. "The idea of inviting a person to pay you a visit and then telling her to go home. Well, I'm not going to do it. I'll stay here whether you want me or not."

"But," said the Duke of Dishwater, "you don't understand. Your husband is hunting for you and if he finds you here he'll pull my castle up by the roots."

"What do I care about your old castle," snapped Mrs. Blunderbuss. "And anyway, he couldn't because he's deader than a doornail; so there."

"Oh, no, he isn't," put in Jack. "You may think he is, but he isn't. That fall down the beanstalk only stunned him."

And then he told the giant's wife how he had dug Blunderbuss out and how the giant had brought him back because he thought that Jack was the boy who had run off with his property. "And," went on the boy, "he won't believe I am the wrong Jack until you tell him so. And of course you can see I am the wrong Jack, can't you?"

"Maybe I can, and maybe I can't," said Mrs. Blunderbuss, crossly. "Anyway it's your fault he has come back and that's enough for me to worry about without worrying to remember whether you're the wrong Jack or the right one, I reckon."

And having made that announcement she marched upstairs to her room with her nose in the air.

"My gracious," gasped Jack, "if that isn't the meanest thing I ever heard of."

"Well," said the Duke, "you needn't scowl at me. 'Taint my fault!"

Then, taking out his snuff box, the Duke of Dishwater helped himself to a generous pinch and marched upstairs withhisnose in the air.

Well, as you can see, this left Jack in a very unhappy frame of mind, for how in the world was he ever going to get back home unless he could prove to Blunderbuss that he was not the Jack who had planted the beanstalk? And the more he thought about the matter the more perplexing it seemed, so finally he decided to run away and try to find the place where the grapevine grew up to the giant's house, and then climb down it quickly before the giant came back.

So when the Duke called downstairs to tell him to hurry and get in the safe deposit box, he said "all right," but instead of going upstairs he slipped out the front door into the courtyard. Then, while the man-at-arms on guard was busily talking to one of the scullery maids, he softly unbolted the gate and ran off as fast as he could. All that day he traveled back over the road he had come with the giant, and then when he reached the cottage of Goog, the ogress, although he knew it was very dangerous to do so, he could not resist peeking in at the window. And there she was, uglier than ever, stirring the big pot over the fire and singing in a horrible cracked voice: and this is what she sang:

Oh, Jack, he took the money bagsI don't know where they are.And Jack he took the giant's harpAnd carried it afar.And Jack he took the magic henBut when it was unloosed,It did what every chicken does,It came back home to roost.And when I want some golden eggs—(Real solid gold—I weigh 'em)I go to Blunderbuss's houseAnd get his hen to lay 'em.

Oh, Jack, he took the money bags

I don't know where they are.

And Jack he took the giant's harp

And carried it afar.

And Jack he took the magic hen

But when it was unloosed,

It did what every chicken does,

It came back home to roost.

And when I want some golden eggs—(Real solid gold—I weigh 'em)I go to Blunderbuss's houseAnd get his hen to lay 'em.

And when I want some golden eggs—

(Real solid gold—I weigh 'em)

I go to Blunderbuss's house

And get his hen to lay 'em.

And then chuckling, she put on her bonnet, and took her stick and came out of her cottage door, not noticing Jack peering around the corner. And away she went over the hill to the giant's house. When she got there she pulled open a shutter and climbed in, after which she scattered corn over the floor, and presently into the room scampered the magic hen and after it had eaten the corn it began to lay one golden egg after the other until the ogress had her apron full. And Jack, watching through the shutter, was awfully astonished and understood what she meant by singing about chickens coming home to roost. Evidently the stolen hen had come back and no one knew it but Goog, and she was getting rich on the eggs it laid.

"My," said Jack to himself, "wouldn't the giant be mad if he knew?"

So when the ogress had gone back to her cottage to put away her golden eggs, Jack pulled open the shutter and climbed into the room where the magic hen was going about clucking proudly because she had laid so many eggs. And before the hen knew what was going to happen he grabbed her, tucked her under his arm, climbed out of the window again and ran off to see if he could find where the grapevine was.

"Gee whiz!" he chuckled, "if I can only get home with this hen we'll be so rich my father won't have to work again. We can have automobiles and steam yachts and everything."

And then all of a sudden he remembered that the hen did not belong to him and that if he took it he would be stealing, so after thinking over the matter a moment he decided it would not do and turned back to the giant's house to replace what he had taken. But before he had gone half way he heard a trampling sound and saw the giant coming toward him carrying the Duke's castle in his hand with the roots of it dragging on the ground, and with the Duke, and the Duchess, and Mrs. Blunderbuss hanging out of the windows, wailing and wringing their hands.

Quick as a wink Jack thrust the hen beneath his blouse, and presently the giant stood towering over him.

"So," shouted Blunderbuss, dropping the castle to the ground with a bang, "you ran away, did you? Well, now, I think I'll give every one of you to the ogress to put in her pot. And I think," he continued, looking at Jack more closely, "that you'll please her especially, for you certainly are fatter than when I saw you last."

"All right," said Jack, feeling dreadfully frightened, but trying his best not to show it, "do as you like, but if you do you'll be sorry, for I know where your magic hen is and I shan't tell you if you give me to the ogress."

"Well," shouted the giant, "where is my hen?"

And then Jack told him how he had followed the ogress and watched her take the golden eggs, and maybe the giant was not furious when he heardthat.

"Right in my own house," he bellowed. "Well, it won't take me long to get my hennow."

"Oh," said Jack, coolly, "your hen isn't there. I took her away and hid her, and when you let me go home, and when you forgive your wife, and when you replant the castle, I'll give her back, but not before."

And having said that, he remarked "ho, hum," whirled about on his heel and whistled carelessly as though he did not care whether the giant accepted his offer or not, but of course he did care, and so did the Duke, and his wife, and Mrs. Blunderbuss, but when they saw Jack let on thathedid not care, they let on, too, and said "ho, hum" and whirled about and whistled, too.

And of course when the giant noticed that apparently nobody cared a whoop what he did or what he did not do, he did just what they wanted him to do, and promised everything Jack asked, in order to get back his magic hen.

"Very good," said Jack, "then here she is." And opening his blouse he pulled out the giant's property and handed it to him.

"Ho, ho," growled the giant, "so that's what made you so fat, eh? Well, I suppose there's nothing to do but to tell you where the grapevine is."

"All you have to do," he said, "is to climb straight down and you'll be home in ten minutes, but before you start I wish you would come with me to the ogress's cottage so I can have proof when I accuse her of stealing the golden eggs my hen laid."

So Jack, and the Duke and the Duchess, and Mr. and Mrs. Blunderbuss hurried off to where Goog lived, and the giant, pointing to Jack, told the ogress what the boy had seen.

"And now," he bawled, angrily, "you'll just hand back those eggs and hand 'em back quick."

"Dear me," replied the ogress, "I'm awfully sorry, but they're all in the pot boiling. Look in and you can see for yourself."

And when the giant bent over the sizzling pot she gave him a push and in he went head over heels. "Ouch!" he roared, trying to jump out of the scalding water.

"No, you don't," shrieked Goog.

But when she tried to push him back he grabbed her and bing—into the pot went the ogress also, and in about four minutes both the giant and the ogress were stewing and steaming, and boiling, and that was the end of them.

And when Jack saw that, he thought it was time for him to leave, so he stole away to where the grapevine grew and climbed down it as quickly as he could. And you may be sure when he got to the bottom he took the ax and chopped down the grapevine just like the other Jack chopped down the beanstalk.

No doubt you will think this story begins in a very strange place when you learn that it starts on board a Chinese junk or ship, as it sailed up a muddy Chinese river on its way to the city of Ki Yi.

Now most Chinese ships are dingy and dirty but this particular junk was just the opposite. Its sails were new, its decks neat and clean, and all because it carried a mandarin of high rank on his way to a wedding feast in the distant town. Very fat this mandarin was, and very smiling, and the wedding presents he carried were enormously valuable—gold and silver, and silks and jewels—packed away in his cabin; and the sight of them made the mouths of the captain and crew water. So finally the sailors and their commander determined to throw the mandarin overboard and take the presents for themselves.

However, as Chinese people are always polite, no matter what the circumstances, instead of going below and seizing him without another word, they sent the cabin boy, Dong, down with a note requesting the pleasure of the mandarin's presence on deck at once and expressing their deep regret that they would have to put an end to him.

"Ahem!" remarked the mandarin, as he finished reading the note, "how very kind of them."

Then looking over his horn spectacles he examined Dong, the cabin boy, as he stood before him. "I'm awfully sorry," he said, "that a boy like you—you can't be more than seven—and such a nice looking boy, too, should join in such a wicked conspiracy. How would you like to be drowned?"

Dong shook his head. "I wouldn't like it," he said.

"No more do I," replied the mandarin, "and yet, unless you save me, I shall be."

"But," said Dong, "how can I save you? I would if I could, but I am only a boy."

"That makes no difference," said the mandarin; "if you are a brave boy, you can do it."

Then he handed Dong a large fan and told him to go up on deck and fan the captain and the crew with three big sweeps and they would dissolve like mist. "I'd do it myself," he continued, "but I'm afraid they'd seize me before I could get a chance to do it and throw me overboard. But of course they will not suspect you."

So Dong, trembling with excitement, took the fan and climbed the ladder to the deck.

"Well," asked the captain of the junk, "is the mandarin coming?"

"No," replied Dong, opening the fan with a jerk, "he is not. He declines your invitation and says he prefers to remain in his cabin with the wedding presents."

"Oh, he does, does he!" bawled the captain. "That's what we get for being polite."

Then he shouted for the crew to follow him and started for the mandarin's cabin, but Dong, all ready with the fan open, quickly stepped in front of him, gave three big sweeps, and pish! the captain and the entire crew of the junk disappeared completely.

"Gracious!" gasped the boy, closing the fan quickly for fear he might fan himself, "wasn't that awful?" Then he ran down to the cabin and told the mandarin what he had done.

"Ah," exclaimed the mandarin, in a tone of great satisfaction, rubbing his hands together, "I'm very glad to hear it, and I'm sure they are better off where they are, wherever they are. And now let me have my fan back, please."

And then the moment he got his fan back he stood up very straight and rapped the palm of his right hand once with it, and to Dong's amazement there appeared at his right side another man exactly like him. Then he rapped the palm of his left hand twice and there appeared at his left side another man exactly like him. Whereupon the three men bowed to each other affably and then shook hands.

"Permit me," said the mandarin, "to introduce my two brothers, Sin Sum Tu and Sin Sum Wen. My name is Sin Sum. And while I am explaining things to you let me say that I amnota mandarin; that I amnoton my way to a wedding; and that the goods I have arenotwedding presents."

"What," exclaimed Dong, "not a mandarin and not going to a wedding? Then what are you?"

"I—that is, we," replied the supposed mandarin, "are the Second Story Brothers, the cleverest porch climbers in China. In other words we are robbers, and famous ones, too. Why we've even written a song about ourselves. It goes like this." Throwing back his head he sang and his brothers joined in:

The sailor sings of the ocean blue,For that is the proper thing to do.The soldier sings of the battles foughtWith a hip hurrah as a soldier ought.But, oh, our song it beats all others—The song of the Second Story Brothers—And this is the way the ditty closesAs we sing it softly through our noses:Look out for your money bags and diamond studded pin, sir.Look out, for the outlook is that some night we'll look in, sir.Ask your fathers what to do, or better, ask your mothers.Be prepared to guard against the Second Story Brothers.

The sailor sings of the ocean blue,

For that is the proper thing to do.

The soldier sings of the battles fought

With a hip hurrah as a soldier ought.

But, oh, our song it beats all others—

The song of the Second Story Brothers—

And this is the way the ditty closes

As we sing it softly through our noses:

Look out for your money bags and diamond studded pin, sir.Look out, for the outlook is that some night we'll look in, sir.Ask your fathers what to do, or better, ask your mothers.Be prepared to guard against the Second Story Brothers.

Look out for your money bags and diamond studded pin, sir.

Look out, for the outlook is that some night we'll look in, sir.

Ask your fathers what to do, or better, ask your mothers.

Be prepared to guard against the Second Story Brothers.

"Well," said Dong, when they had finished, "I think it was a very mean trick you played on me. See what I did to the captain and the crew because I thought you were a mandarin and they were going to rob you. And here you are, a robber yourself."

"Quite true," said Sin Sum, "I admit it was a mean trick, but no meaner than the captain was going to play on me. And as for yourself you can have a much better job with us than you had before."

And with that he told Dong that when the junk got to Ki Yi they were going to stay on it in the day time and at night they would rob the houses of the wealthy people. "And all you will have to do," he continued, "is to remain in the cabin and sell the stolen property we bring you, to the various customers that call. Now how does that strike you, my boy?"

"No, sir," replied Dong, "I shall not do it. I may be only a cabin boy, but I'm an honest one. I have no desire to become a robber."

"But listen," put in the other two Second Story Brothers, "think how famous you may get to be. And if you should get caught and be beheaded, they'd put your picture on souvenir postals, perhaps."

"I don't care," said Dong, "I'd rather make my living some other way."

"Well, you're not going to do it," snapped Sin Sum, angrily. "You're going to make your living with us, and we're not going to coax you any longer, either. And if you try to run away I'll fan you into nothing like you did the captain and the crew."

So Dong had no choice but to join the robbers, and the next night after the vessel got to Ki Yi, Sin Sum made him go with him on a looting expedition.

"I just want to show you how it is done," he said, "in case one of us gets sick or something, so you can take his place."

Then he led the way ashore and presently Dong found himself standing before a handsome building surrounded by a high wall. "This is the Viceroy's palace," said Sin Sum, "and I am going to steal the family jewels."

"But how will you get over the wall?" inquired the boy.

"Oh, that's easy," replied Sin Sum. "All I have to do is to fan a hole in it."

So taking out his fan he waved it three times and instantly part of the wall melted away. And then after they had passed through the gap he fanned another hole in the front door, and in a jiffy they were upstairs in the Viceroy's bedroom.

"Of course," said the robber, "when there is a porch I prefer to climb to the top of it as a second story man should, but when there is none I just fan my way in."

By this time he had fanned most of the bureau drawers open and in a moment more had found the family jewels. Then having found them, he fanned them also, and pish! they disappeared, case and all.

"Goodness," exclaimed Dong, "now youhavedone it. What did you dissolve them for?"

Sin Sum chuckled. "Wait till we get back to the boat and I'll show you."

As he spoke the Viceroy and his wife began to toss about in their bed and it was evident that the conversation was beginning to awaken them.

"Quick," said Dong, "let's get out or they'll catch us."

"Huh!" said Sin Sum, "they'd better not. If they wake up and make any fuss, I'll give them a fanning they won't forget."

And no doubt he would have dissolved the regal couple without the slightest hesitation if Dong had not coaxed him out of the palace and back to the junk.

When they got there they found that Sin Sum's two brothers, who had also been out burglaring, had arrived before them.

"Now," said Sin Sum, "let's count up what we got to-night."

Taking a little book from beneath his sash he turned the pages. "H—I—J—jewels," he said. "Let's see how many raps for jewels. Ah, here it is, seven raps for jewels."

Then he rapped the palm of his hand seven times with his fan and the next moment he was holding the casket containing the Viceroy's precious stones.

Then he turned to his brother Sin Sum Tu. "What did you get?" he asked.

"Gold, and lots of it," answered Sin Sum Tu.

So Sin Sum looked in the book and found that it took five raps to produce gold, whereupon Sin Sum Tu rappedhishand withhisfan five times, and a big pile of gold poured into it and spilled over on the floor of the cabin.

"Now, Sin Sum Wen," said Sin Sum, "it's your turn. What have you got?"

"Well," said Sin Sum Wen, "I hate to tell you but I got nothing but pies and cakes. I broke into a baker's shop thinking to rob his cash drawer, but I guess business was bad, for the drawer was empty, but rather than come away without anything, I fanned all his pies and cakes, although you may not think it worth while to produce them."

"Oh, yes," said Sin Sum, "they are better than nothing. We can eat them for supper."

Then he took his book and found that pies and cakes required eleven raps, and Sin Sum Wen rappedhishand eleven times withhisfan and in about twenty seconds there were enough refreshments in the cabin to last a week.

"Ah," said the Second Story Brothers, picking up the dainties and piling them on the table, "now wewillhave a feast."

And with that they started in and ate, and ate, and ate; lemon pie, apple pie, cocoanut pie, cherry pie, chocolate cake, cinnamon bun, jelly cake; in fact every kind of pie and cake a baker makes, and in about an hour each of them had about every kind of a stomach ache that every kind of a pie and cake makes, and were rolling around howling with pain.

Now Dong, while he had eaten some of the goodies had not eaten much, for not being very happy he was not very hungry, so he was not made ill like the others. And presently as he saw that they paid no attention to him, he decided that here was his chance to run away. So he slipped out of the cabin and over the side of the boat, and made off into the city as fast as he could to the police station, for he knew when the Viceroy woke up and found his family jewels gone, there would be an awful row. And if he showed the police where to find them the Viceroy could not punish him for being with Sin Sum when he stole them.

When he got to the police station, however, the officer at the door told him that Ho Hum, the Chief of Police, was taking a nap and could not be disturbed.

"But," cried Dong, "I can show you how to catch the Second Story Brothers who have stolen the Viceroy's family jewels, if you will come with me."

"What!" shouted the officer, "they stole the Viceroy's jewels?"

Then he ran off and wakened Ho Hum at once.

"Waugh!" yawned the Chief of Police, "what is this I hear? The Second Story Brothers have stolen the Viceroy's jewels and you will show us how to catch them?"

"Yes," said Dong, "but you'd better hurry up before they find out that I have come to tell you about it."

So Ho Hum, the Chief of Police, and a number of his officers strapped on their roller skates and with Dong hurried off to the boat where the Second Story Brothers were just recovering from the effects of the stolen pies and cakes. And very pale and miserable they looked sitting against the cabin wall when the police burst in and confronted them.

"Surrender!" shouted Ho Hum.

"Quick!" cried Dong, "take their fans from them or it will be the worse for you."

Ho Hum, the Chief of Police, scowled. "See here, boy," he said, "are you the Chief of Police or am I? The idea of telling me what to do! Why, I was arresting folks before you were born."

"But," began Dong, "won't you please listen, I—"

"No," bawled the Chief of Police.

"Good for you, old sleepy head," shouted the Second Story Brothers.

Then they leaped to their feet, gave three waves of their three fans, and pish!—Ho Hum and all of his officers disappeared.

"Now," said Sin Sum, grinning wickedly as he turned to Dong, "we'll attend to you, my son. We'll teach you how to go off and tell the police about us."

"Shall we fan him into nothing?" asked Sin Sum Tu and Sin Sum Wen.

"Not yet," replied Sin Sum, "not until I've laid him across my knee for about five minutes and given him something to remember me by."

With that he made a rush for Dong, but Dong, half scared out of his wits, dived under the table, then behind the chairs here and there like a squirrel, and Sin Sum, who was fat and short winded, could not catch him. Then his two brothers joined in, but they were even fatter, and besides the pies and cakes they had just stuffed had left them in no condition to run a race, so do what they would they could not catch the boy. And Dong, seeing that they could not, began to grow bolder, and presently, as Sin Sum made a violent grab at him he also made a grab at Sin Sum and snatched his fan and his book from his sash. Then like lightning he turned and whipped the fan open, gave three quick sweeps with it at the robbers, and pish!—they disappeared as neatly as the police had, and Dong was left the sole occupant of the cabin.

He turned and whipped the fan open

"Gee whiz!" he exclaimed, all out of breath, but nevertheless highly pleased with himself, "I did for them that time."

Then he opened Sin Sum's producing book, found the page where it said "police" required four raps, and rapping the palm of his hand four times, Ho Hum and his officers appeared once more, looking rather pale and nervous after their strange experience.

"Well," said Dong to the Chief, "I guess you wish you had done as I told you and taken the fans away from those robbers."

Ho Hum rolled his eyes. "Don't say a word," he replied. "I feel like arresting myself, missing such a fine chance to capture the Second Story Brothers. Dear me, I'm afraid I'll never catch them now."

"Oh, yes, you will," said Dong. "Just you watch."

With that he struck the palm of his right hand once with Sin Sum's fan, and instantly at his right hand stood Sin Sum Tu, and the moment he appeared Dong snatched his fan from him. Then he rapped his left hand with Sin Sum's fan twice and instantly at his left side stood Sin Sum Wen, and Dong quickly snatched his fan also.

"Now," he said to the robbers, "tell me how to produce Sin Sum or I'll fan you both into nothing again."

So the robbers told Dong to rap his forehead once with the fan and Sin Sum would appear. And sure enough, the moment Dong rapped his forehead, there before him stood Sin Sum. And the next moment Ho Hum and his officers pounced on the Second Story Brothers and tied them securely.

Then everybody set off for the Viceroy's palace, Dong carefully carrying the stolen jewels. By the time they got there it was morning and the Viceroy and his wife having just come down to breakfast, were listening to the butler tell them how the front door had a hole in it and that he guessed some one had been in the house the night before. But not until Dong and the police and the Second Story Brothers entered the dining room and Dong had handed over the jewels, did they know they had been stolen.

"Suffering chopsticks!" shouted the Viceroy; "to think of my house being robbed. Some one shall suffer for this!"

And as he said that he looked straight at the Second Story Brothers, which made their knees knock together very much for they knew of course he was talking about them, and they did not like the way he pronounced the word "suffer" at all. Then having put the captured robbers in a first class uncomfortable frame of mind, the Viceroy turned to Ho Hum, grasped him by the hand and called him a hero.

"Stop!" interrupted the Chief of Police, "I cannot let you say that. No one enjoys being a hero more than I, but the blood of my truthful ancestors compels me to state that the boy who stands before you is the only hero in this affair. If it had not been for him the whole police force would be nowhere."

Whereupon he told the Viceroy how Dong had brought them back after the robbers had made them disappear, and also brought the robbers back so they could be arrested.

"Well, well," exclaimed the Viceroy, giving Dong a most admiring glance, "if that isn't just like something you read about. If we only had more boys like you in China, China might amount to something. Hum! How would you like to be adopted?"

"I shouldn't mind," replied Dong.

So right then and there the Viceroy of Ki Yi adopted Dong into his family, and told him if he minded his P's and Q's—particularly his Q's—he might be Viceroy himself some day.

And the chances are if you visit China in the years to come you may find that Donghasbecome Viceroy, for you must admit that if he was smart enough to put an end to the career of the Second Story Brothers, he was certainly smart enough to become a Viceroy or even something better.

One morning the Emperor Fuss of Fizz sat on the front porch of his palace rocking impatiently back and forth. Evidently he was waiting for somebody. By and by when he had rocked so many times his rocking chair was beginning to squeak, the royal necromancer, Wist the Wise, an aged gentleman wearing a gorgeous gown of office, came hurrying up the royal avenue.

"Ha!" exclaimed the Emperor, "so you've come at last, have you? It's lucky for you that I'm a good natured monarch."

"I'm awfully sorry to have kept you waiting, your majesty," replied the necromancer, bowing low, "but the commander-in-chief of your army had a toothache, and I had to wish the tooth out for him and believe me, it was some job."

"Well," said the Emperor, "you have a harder job than that before you. My son, Prince Frip, has been reading about desert islands and insists on having one at once to discover. So get to work, for as you know whatever Frip wants he wants with all his might."

Alas, Wist the Wise knew it only too well. A good part of his time he was kept busy exercising his magic arts to provide amusement for Prince Frip, who was a very lively young person, and who got tired of a thing almost as soon as he got it. As a consequence the wizard had often wished he might get rid of the boy forever, for he was afraid that some day Frip would ask for something he would be unable to give him, for even a magician has his limits. So this time the royal necromancer was determined to fix the Prince so he would not bother him any more.

"Did you say an island, your majesty?" he inquired of the Emperor.

"I did," replied the monarch, "and a desert island, too, with plenty of strange and wonderful things on it to interest a boy. I want to keep Frip busy this time."

"So do I," said the wizard, grimly. "But as you know, your majesty, the kingdom of Fizz is far inland, and desert islands are only found in the sea. If you want desert islands, you must go where desert islands bloom."

"Oh, I must, must I?" retorted the Emperor, angrily. "Whom do you think you're talking to? You have that desert island ready for Frip to play with to-morrow morning, or I'll have you made into an Irish stew."

The royal necromancer shuddered. "Well," he said, "I'll do my best, but whether you stew me or not, I simply cannot provide an out and out, really true island. At the best it will only be an imaginary one. Will that do?"

"I don't care what it is," said the monarch, "so long as the Prince can lose himself on it for a while and not bother me."

So the next morning when Prince Frip commenced to ask when he was going to get the desert island he had been wishing for, the Emperor was able to tell him he would have it that very day. And when the royal necromancer made his appearance a short time afterward, the prediction came true. Leading the Prince out upon the palace lawn, the wizard placed him with his face towards the east. Then Wist the Wise rolled up the right sleeve of his gown and began whirling his arm around and around as though he was going to throw something. After he had done this about a hundred times he stopped all of a sudden with his finger pointing straight ahead of him, and told the Prince to look and tell him what he saw.

But Prince Frip did not trouble to tell the royal necromancer anything. He just gave one joyful yell and set off toward the pebbly beach that had appeared in front of him. A beach flooded with sunshine and with a shimmering sea beyond—blue in some spots and green in others—and with a most delightfully mysterious looking island showing on the horizon. Drawn up on the beach was a jaunty little sail boat. With a vigorous push the Prince had the boat into deep water. Into the craft he tumbled. Puff, puff, came a stiff and salty breeze. The sail flattened, the boat heeled over, and in a moment was cutting its way through the dancing waves with the Prince sitting at the rudder, smiling as he had not smiled for many a day.

But had he known what the royal necromancer had done, he would have been frowning instead of smiling, for Wist the Wise when he told the Emperor that he could not provide a real island, had not spoken the truth. If he had conjured up arealisland onlycertainthings could have happened on it. But on the imaginary island which he had provided,anythingcould happen. And whenanythingcan happen there are bound to be some very strange adventures. And so the wizard felt pretty sure that Frip would have a tough time before he got back again.

However, the Prince, suspecting nothing, sat in the little sail boat as it went on and on, coming nearer and nearer to the island all the while, until finally he cast anchor in the prettiest little cove you ever saw, and taking off his shoes and stockings, waded ashore.

"My," he exclaimed, as he looked about, "isn't this splendid!"

To the right and left of him the beach stretched away in a glittering curve. It looked as though it might be made of gold dust instead of sand, and the reason it looked that way was because itwasmade of gold dust. Tons and tons of gold dust were there, enough to buy out the greatest millionaire in the world. But the Prince did not know it, and if he had known it he would not have cared, he was too busy watching a short, squatty looking man with a dark brown complexion, driving a stake into the beach a short distance away, on which was a sign:

REAL ESTATELOTS FOR SALE

When the man had made the sign secure he turned about and saw Frip. "Hello," he cried, coming toward him, "when did you arrive?"

"Just now," said Frip. "There's my boat."

"Oh," said the man, "so you came in a boat, eh? Very commonplace—very.Icame on a Christmas tree."

Now you may think it was decidedly queer for a person to say such a thing as that, but the Prince did not, because when he was close to the stranger he saw he was nothing more or less than a Gingerbread Man, although unusually large for his species.

"Yes," went on the Gingerbread Man, "I came on a Christmas tree, and I tell you it was rather exciting."

"I should think so," remarked Frip.

"Of course it was a mistake that I got overboard," said the Gingerbread Man. "All they meant to do was to throw the Christmas tree overboard after the celebration on the ocean liner. But I was fastened to the top and they forgot to take me off. Well, I floated for days and days and had about decided to try and lose my reason to keep from going insane, when, without the slightest warning, up out of the sea, right under my nose, popped this island."

"What do you mean 'popped this island'?" asked the Prince. "It didn't really pop out of the ocean, did it?"

"It certainly did," replied the Gingerbread Man. "One moment I was straining my eyes looking for an island, and the next moment there it was."

"Then," cried Frip, excitedly, "it must have been just when the royal necromancer created the island for me to play with."

And with that he told the Gingerbread Man how Wist the Wise had made the island by magic at the command of the Emperor. "And," he went on, "it was mighty lucky for you that I happened to ask my father for a desert island, otherwise you might be floating about the sea yet."

"Yes," said the Gingerbread Man, "it certainly was and I cannot thank you enough, for it not only saved my life, but it has given me a chance to go into business for myself." He pointed to the real estate sign. "It seemed a shame for all this land to go to waste so I've marked it out into building lots, and as the different people are shipwrecked here, as of course they will be, I'll sell them the lots. See?"

"Yes," said Frip, "I see. But suppose they won't buy the lots?"

"Then," said the Gingerbread Man, firmly, "they've got to get off the island. Business is business. I found the place first and it belongs to me."

"Belongs to you," cried the Prince. "Well, I guess not. Why, it was 'made' for me. Didn't I just tell you it was made for me?"

"Oh, yes," said the Gingerbread Man, "you told me, but that doesn't make it so, does it? And I did get here first, you can't deny that. And findings are keepings, you can't deny that, either. And whoever wants to stay here hasgotto buy a lot." And having made that announcement, he turned on his heel and walked away, frowning like anything.

"I suppose," said the Prince to himself, "he's mad at me now. But I don't care if he is, the island is mine and whoever gets shipwrecked here can stay if they want to, lots or no lots."

Thenheturned onhisheel and walked away in the opposite direction to that taken by the Gingerbread Man.

Now as you know an island is an island—it may be a round island, or an oblong island, or a square island—but if it is an island and you start at a certain place on the seacoast and walk long enough, you are bound to come back to the very place where you started. And that is exactly what happened to Frip. After he left the Gingerbread Man he went on walking, and walking, and walking, until after a bit he came to a place that looked very familiar and he saw by the real estate sign that it was the same spot he had started from, except that something had happened to it, which was that a bonfire was burning there and that running round and around the fire was the Gingerbread Man. And my, how fine he did smell for the fire had warmed him enough to freshen him up.

"Hello," said Frip, sniffing hungrily, "what's the matter with you? My, you do smell nice!"

"Oh, I do, do I?" said the Gingerbread Man, keeping on running, "then I suppose you'll join the cannibals and help eat me."

"Cannibals!" exclaimed the Prince, "what cannibals? I don't see any cannibals."

"Perhaps not," replied the Gingerbread Man, "but you can easily see their footprints on the beach, can't you?"

And sure enough there were the prints of bare feet all about the bonfire, and now that Frip had noticed them he saw to his surprise that fresh footprints were being made all the time.

"Why—why—" he began, very much startled, "why—hey, is anybody here?"

And the minute he said that there was a blood-curdling yell and upon his vision burst a band of coal-black savages with waving plumes on their heads and spears in their hands.

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