“I cant take you down home, bellering like you is.” T. P. said. “You was bad enough before you got that bullfrog voice. Come on.”
We went along the brick walk, with our shadows. The pig pen smelled like pigs. The cow stood in the lot, chewing at us. Dan howled.
“You going to wake the whole town up.” T. P. said. “Cant you hush.”
We saw Fancy, eating by the branch. The moon shone on the water when we got there.
“Naw, sir.” T. P. said, “This too close. We cant stop here. Come on. Now, just look at you. Got your whole leg wet. Come on, here.” Dan howled.
The ditch came up out of the buzzing grass. The bones rounded out of the black vines.
“Now.” T. P. said. “Beller your head off if you want to. You got the whole night and a twenty acre pasture to beller in.”
T. P. lay down in the ditch and I sat down, watching the bones where the buzzards ate Nancy, flapping black and slow and heavy out of the ditch.
I had it when we was down here before, Luster said. I showed it to you. Didn’t you see it. I took it out of my pocket right here and showed it to you.
“Do you think buzzards are going to undress Damuddy.” Caddy said. “You’re crazy.”
“You’re a skizzard.” Jason said. He began to cry.
“You’re a knobnot.” Caddy said. Jason cried. His hands were in his pockets.
“Jason going to be rich man.” Versh said. “He holding his money all the time.”
Jason cried.
“Now you’ve got him started.” Caddy said. “Hush up, Jason. How can buzzards get in where Damuddy is. Father wouldn’tlet them. Would you let a buzzard undress you. Hush up, now.”
Jason hushed. “Frony said it was a funeral.” he said.
“Well it’s not.” Caddy said. “It’s a party. Frony dont know anything about it. He wants your lightning bugs, T. P. Let him hold it a while.”
T. P. gave me the bottle of lightning bugs.
“I bet if we go around to the parlor window we can see something.” Caddy said. “Then you’ll believe me.”
“I already knows.” Frony said. “I dont need to see.”
“You better hush your mouth, Frony.” Versh said. “Mammy going whip you.”
“What is it.” Caddy said.
“I knows what I knows.” Frony said.
“Come on.” Caddy said, “Let’s go around to the front.”
We started to go.
“T. P. wants his lightning bugs.” Frony said.
“Let him hold it a while longer, T. P.” Caddy said. “We’ll bring it back.”
“You all never caught them.” Frony said.
“If I say you and T. P. can come too, will you let him hold it.” Caddy said.
“Aint nobody said me and T. P. got to mind you.” Frony said.
“If I say you dont have to, will you let him hold it.” Caddy said.
“All right.” Frony said. “Let him hold it, T. P. We going to watch them moaning.”
“They aint moaning.” Caddy said. “I tell you it’s a party. Are they moaning, Versh.”
“We aint going to know what they doing, standing here.” Versh said.
“Come on.” Caddy said. “Frony and T. P. dont have to mind me. But the rest of us do. You better carry him, Versh. It’s getting dark.”
Versh took me up and we went on around the kitchen.
When we looked around the corner we could see the lights coming up the drive. T. P. went back to the cellar door and opened it.
You know what’s down there, T. P. said. Soda water. I seenMr Jason come up with both hands full of them. Wait here a minute.
T. P. went and looked in the kitchen door. Dilsey said, What are you peeping in here for. Where’s Benjy.
He out here, T. P. said.
Go on and watch him, Dilsey said. Keep him out the house now.
Yessum, T. P. said. Is they started yet.
You go on and keep that boy out of sight, Dilsey said. I got all I can tend to.
A snake crawled out from under the house. Jason said he wasn’t afraid of snakes and Caddy said he was but she wasn’t and Versh said they both were and Caddy said to be quiet, like father said.
You aint got to start bellering now, T. P. said. You want some this sassprilluh.
It tickled my nose and eyes.
If you aint going to drink it, let me get to it, T. P. said. All right, here tis. We better get another bottle while aint nobody bothering us. You be quiet, now.
We stopped under the tree by the parlor window. Versh set me down in the wet grass. It was cold. There were lights in all the windows.
“That’s where Damuddy is.” Caddy said. “She’s sick every day now. When she gets well we’re going to have a picnic.”
“I knows what I knows.” Frony said.
The trees were buzzing, and the grass.
“The one next to it is where we have the measles.” Caddy said. “Where do you and T. P. have the measles, Frony.”
“Has them just wherever we is, I reckon.” Frony said.
“They haven’t started yet.” Caddy said.
They getting ready to start, T. P. said. You stand right here now while I get that box so we can see in the window. Here, les finish drinking this here sassprilluh. It make me feel just like a squinch owl inside.
We drank the sassprilluh and T. P. pushed the bottle through the lattice, under the house, and went away. I could hear them in the parlor and I clawed my hands against the wall. T. P. dragged the box. He fell down, and he began to laugh. He lay there, laughinginto the grass. He got up and dragged the box under the window, trying not to laugh.
“I skeered I going to holler.” T. P. said. “Git on the box and see is they started.”
“They haven’t started because the band hasn’t come yet.” Caddy said.
“They aint going to have no band.” Frony said.
“How do you know.” Caddy said.
“I knows what I knows.” Frony said.
“You dont know anything.” Caddy said. She went to the tree. “Push me up, Versh.”
“Your paw told you to stay out that tree.” Versh said.
“That was a long time ago.” Caddy said. “I expect he’s forgotten about it. Besides, he said to mind me tonight. Didn’t he say to mind me tonight.”
“I’m not going to mind you.” Jason said. “Frony and T. P. are not going to either.”
“Push me up, Versh.” Caddy said.
“All right.” Versh said. “You the one going to get whipped. I aint.” He went and pushed Caddy up into the tree to the first limb. We watched the muddy bottom of her drawers. Then we couldn’t see her. We could hear the tree thrashing.
“Mr Jason said if you break that tree he whip you.” Versh said.
“I’m going to tell on her too.” Jason said.
The tree quit thrashing. We looked up into the still branches.
“What you seeing.” Frony whispered.
I saw them. Then I saw Caddy, with flowers in her hair, and a long veil like shining wind. Caddy Caddy
“Hush.” T. P. said, “They going to hear you. Get down quick.” He pulled me. Caddy. I clawed my hands against the wall Caddy. T. P. pulled me.
“Hush.” he said, “Hush. Come on here quick.” He pulled me on. Caddy “Hush up, Benjy. You want them to hear you. Come on, les drink some more sassprilluh, then we can come back if you hush. We better get one more bottle or we both be hollering. We can say Dan drunk it. Mr Quentin always saying he so smart, we can say he sassprilluh dog, too.”
The moonlight came down the cellar stairs. We drank some more sassprilluh.
“You know what I wish.” T. P. said. “I wish a bear would walk in that cellar door. You know what I do. I walk right up to him and spit in he eye. Gimme that bottle to stop my mouth before I holler.”
T. P. fell down. He began to laugh, and the cellar door and the moonlight jumped away and something hit me.
“Hush up.” T. P. said, trying not to laugh, “Lawd, they’ll all hear us. Get up.” T. P. said, “Get up, Benjy, quick.” He was thrashing about and laughing and I tried to get up. The cellar steps ran up the hill in the moonlight and T. P. fell up the hill, into the moonlight, and I ran against the fence and T. P. ran behind me saying “Hush up hush up” Then he fell into the flowers, laughing, and I ran into the box. But when I tried to climb onto it it jumped away and hit me on the back of the head and my throat made a sound. It made the sound again and I stopped trying to get up, and it made the sound again and I began to cry. But my throat kept on making the sound while T. P. was pulling me. It kept on making it and I couldn’t tell if I was crying or not, and T. P. fell down on top of me, laughing, and it kept on making the sound and Quentin kicked T. P. and Caddy put her arms around me, and her shining veil, and I couldn’t smell trees anymore and I began to cry.
Benjy, Caddy said, Benjy. She put her arms around me again, but I went away.“What is it, Benjy.” she said, “Is it this hat.” She took her hat off and came again, and I went away.
“Benjy.” she said, “What is it, Benjy. What has Caddy done.”
“He dont like that prissy dress.” Jason said. “You think you’re grown up, dont you. You think you’re better than anybody else, dont you. Prissy.”
“You shut your mouth.” Caddy said, “You dirty little beast. Benjy.”
“Just because you are fourteen, you think you’re grown up, dont you.” Jason said. “You think you’re something. Dont you.”
“Hush, Benjy.” Caddy said. “You’ll disturb Mother. Hush.”
But I didn’t hush, and when she went away I followed, and she stopped on the stairs and waited and I stopped too.
“What is it, Benjy.” Caddy said, “Tell Caddy. She’ll do it. Try.”
“Candace.” Mother said.
“Yessum.” Caddy said.
“Why are you teasing him.” Mother said. “Bring him here.”
We went to Mother’s room, where she was lying with the sickness on a cloth on her head.
“What is the matter now.” Mother said. “Benjamin.”
“Benjy.” Caddy said. She came again, but I went away.
“You must have done something to him.” Mother said. “Why wont you let him alone, so I can have some peace. Give him the box and please go on and let him alone.”
Caddy got the box and set it on the floor and opened it. It was full of stars. When I was still, they were still. When I moved, they glinted and sparkled. I hushed.
Then I heard Caddy walking and I began again.
“Benjamin.” Mother said, “Come here.” I went to the door. “You, Benjamin.” Mother said.
“What is it now.” Father said, “Where are you going.”
“Take him downstairs and get someone to watch him, Jason.” Mother said. “You know I’m ill, yet you”
Father shut the door behind us.
“T. P.” he said.
“Sir.” T. P. said downstairs.
“Benjy’s coming down.” Father said. “Go with T. P.”
I went to the bathroom door. I could hear the water.
“Benjy.” T. P. said downstairs.
I could hear the water. I listened to it.
“Benjy.” T. P. said downstairs.
I listened to the water.
I couldn’t hear the water, and Caddy opened the door.
“Why, Benjy.” she said. She looked at me and I went and she put her arms around me. “Did you find Caddy again.” she said. “Did you think Caddy had run away.” Caddy smelled like trees.
We went to Caddy’s room. She sat down at the mirror. She stopped her hands and looked at me.
“Why, Benjy. What is it.” she said. “You mustn’t cry. Caddy’s not going away. See here.” she said. She took up the bottle and took the stopper out and held it to my nose. “Sweet. Smell. Good.”
I went away and I didn’t hush, and she held the bottle in her hand, looking at me.
“Oh.” she said. She put the bottle down and came and put her arms around me. “So that was it. And you were trying to tell Caddy and you couldn’t tell her. You wanted to, but you couldn’t, could you. Of course Caddy wont. Of course Caddy wont. Just wait till I dress.”
Caddy dressed and took up the bottle again and we went down to the kitchen.
“Dilsey.” Caddy said, “Benjy’s got a present for you.” She stooped down and put the bottle in my hand. “Hold it out to Dilsey, now.” Caddy held my hand out and Dilsey took the bottle.
“Well I’ll declare.” Dilsey said, “If my baby aint give Dilsey a bottle of perfume. Just look here, Roskus.”
Caddy smelled like trees. “We dont like perfume ourselves.” Caddy said.
She smelled like trees.
“Come on, now.” Dilsey said, “You too big to sleep with folks. You a big boy now. Thirteen years old. Big enough to sleep by yourself in Uncle Maury’s room.” Dilsey said.
Uncle Maury was sick. His eye was sick, and his mouth. Versh took his supper up to him on the tray.
“Maury says he’s going to shoot the scoundrel.” Father said. “I told him he’d better not mention it to Patterson before hand.” He drank.
“Jason.” Mother said.
“Shoot who, Father.” Quentin said. “What’s Uncle Maury going to shoot him for.”
“Because he couldn’t take a little joke.” Father said.
“Jason.” Mother said, “How can you. You’d sit right there and see Maury shot down in ambush, and laugh.”
“Then Maury’d better stay out of ambush.” Father said.
“Shoot who, Father.” Quentin said, “Who’s Uncle Maury going to shoot.”
“Nobody.” Father said. “I dont own a pistol.”
Mother began to cry. “If you begrudge Maury your food, why aren’t you man enough to say so to his face. To ridicule him before the children, behind his back.”
“Of course I dont.” Father said, “I admire Maury. He is invaluableto my own sense of racial superiority. I wouldn’t swap Maury for a matched team. And do you know why, Quentin.”
“No, sir.” Quentin said.
“Et ego in arcadiaI have forgotten the latin for hay.” Father said. “There, there.” he said, “I was just joking.” He drank and set the glass down and went and put his hand on Mother’s shoulder.
“It’s no joke.” Mother said. “My people are every bit as well born as yours. Just because Maury’s health is bad.”
“Of course.” Father said. “Bad health is the primary reason for all life. Created by disease, within putrefaction, into decay. Versh.”
“Sir.” Versh said behind my chair.
“Take the decanter and fill it.”
“And tell Dilsey to come and take Benjamin up to bed.” Mother said.
“You a big boy.” Dilsey said, “Caddy tired sleeping with you. Hush now, so you can go to sleep.” The room went away, but I didn’t hush, and the room came back and Dilsey came and sat on the bed, looking at me.
“Aint you going to be a good boy and hush.” Dilsey said. “You aint, is you. See can you wait a minute, then.”
She went away. There wasn’t anything in the door. Then Caddy was in it.
“Hush.” Caddy said. “I’m coming.”
I hushed and Dilsey turned back the spread and Caddy got in between the spread and the blanket. She didn’t take off her bathrobe.
“Now.” she said, “Here I am.” Dilsey came with a blanket and spread it over her and tucked it around her.
“He be gone in a minute.” Dilsey said. “I leave the light on in your room.”
“All right.” Caddy said. She snuggled her head beside mine on the pillow. “Goodnight, Dilsey.”
“Goodnight, honey.” Dilsey said. The room went black.Caddy smelled like trees.
We looked up into the tree where she was.
“What she seeing, Versh.” Frony whispered.
“Shhhhhhh.” Caddy said in the tree. Dilsey said,
“You come on here.” She came around the corner of the house. “Whyn’t you all go on up stairs, like your paw said, stead of slipping out behind my back. Where’s Caddy and Quentin.”
“I told her not to climb up that tree.” Jason said. “I’m going to tell on her.”
“Who in what tree.” Dilsey said. She came and looked up into the tree. “Caddy.” Dilsey said. The branches began to shake again.
“You, Satan.” Dilsey said. “Come down from there.”
“Hush.” Caddy said, “Dont you know Father said to be quiet.” Her legs came in sight and Dilsey reached up and lifted her out of the tree.
“Aint you got any better sense than to let them come around here.” Dilsey said.
“I couldn’t do nothing with her.” Versh said.
“What you all doing here.” Dilsey said. “Who told you to come up to the house.”
“She did.” Frony said. “She told us to come.”
“Who told you you got to do what she say.” Dilsey said. “Get on home, now.” Frony and T. P. went on. We couldn’t see them when they were still going away.
“Out here in the middle of the night.” Dilsey said. She took me up and we went to the kitchen.
“Slipping out behind my back.” Dilsey said. “When you knowed it’s past your bedtime.”
“Shhhh, Dilsey.” Caddy said. “Dont talk so loud. We’ve got to be quiet.”
“You hush your mouth and get quiet, then.” Dilsey said. “Where’s Quentin.”
“Quentin’s mad because he had to mind me tonight.” Caddy said. “He’s still got T. P.’s bottle of lightning bugs.”
“I reckon T. P. can get along without it.” Dilsey said. “You go and find Quentin, Versh. Roskus say he seen him going towards the barn.” Versh went on. We couldn’t see him.
“They’re not doing anything in there.” Caddy said. “Just sitting in chairs and looking.”
“They dont need no help from you all to do that.” Dilsey said. We went around the kitchen.
Where you want to go now, Luster said. You going back to watchthem knocking ball again. We done looked for it over there. Here. Wait a minute. You wait right here while I go back and get that ball. I done thought of something.
The kitchen was dark. The trees were black on the sky. Dan came waddling out from under the steps and chewed my ankle. I went around the kitchen, where the moon was. Dan came scuffling along, into the moon.
“Benjy.” T. P. said in the house.
The flower tree by the parlor window wasn’t dark, but the thick trees were. The grass was buzzing in the moonlight where my shadow walked on the grass.
“You, Benjy.” T. P. said in the house. “Where you hiding. You slipping off. I knows it.”
Luster came back. Wait, he said. Here. Dont go over there. Miss Quentin and her beau in the swing yonder. You come on this way. Come back here, Benjy.
It was dark under the trees. Dan wouldn’t come. He stayed in the moonlight. Then I could see the swing and I began to cry.
Come away from there, Benjy, Luster said. You know Miss Quentin going to get mad.
It was two now, and then one in the swing. Caddy came fast, white in the darkness.
“Benjy,” she said. “How did you slip out. Where’s Versh.”
She put her arms around me and I hushed and held to her dress and tried to pull her away.
“Why, Benjy.” she said. “What is it. T. P.” she called.
The one in the swing got up and came, and I cried and pulled Caddy’s dress.
“Benjy.” Caddy said. “It’s just Charlie. Dont you know Charlie.”
“Where’s his nigger.” Charlie said. “What do they let him run around loose for.”
“Hush, Benjy.” Caddy said. “Go away, Charlie. He doesn’t like you.” Charlie went away and I hushed. I pulled at Caddy’s dress.
“Why, Benjy.” Caddy said. “Aren’t you going to let me stay here and talk to Charlie awhile.”
“Call that nigger.” Charlie said. He came back. I cried louder and pulled at Caddy’s dress.
“Go away, Charlie.” Caddy said. Charlie came and put his hands on Caddy and I cried more. I cried loud.
“No, no.” Caddy said. “No. No.”
“He cant talk.” Charlie said. “Caddy.”
“Are you crazy.” Caddy said. She began to breathe fast. “He can see. Dont. Dont.” Caddy fought. They both breathed fast. “Please. Please.” Caddy whispered.
“Send him away.” Charlie said.
“I will.” Caddy said. “Let me go.”
“Will you send him away.” Charlie said.
“Yes.” Caddy said. “Let me go.” Charlie went away. “Hush.” Caddy said. “He’s gone.” I hushed. I could hear her and feel her chest going.
“I’ll have to take him to the house.” she said. She took my hand. “I’m coming.” she whispered.
“Wait.” Charlie said. “Call the nigger.”
“No.” Caddy said. “I’ll come back. Come on, Benjy.”
“Caddy.” Charlie whispered, loud. We went on. “You better come back. Are you coming back.” Caddy and I were running. “Caddy.” Charlie said. We ran out into the moonlight, toward the kitchen.
“Caddy.” Charlie said.
Caddy and I ran. We ran up the kitchen steps, onto the porch, and Caddy knelt down in the dark and held me. I could hear her and feel her chest. “I wont.” she said. “I wont anymore, ever. Benjy. Benjy.” Then she was crying, and I cried, and we held each other. “Hush.” she said. “Hush. I wont anymore.” So I hushed and Caddy got up and we went into the kitchen and turned the light on and Caddy took the kitchen soap and washed her mouth at the sink, hard. Caddy smelled like trees.
I kept a telling you to stay away from there, Luster said. They sat up in the swing, quick. Quentin had her hands on her hair. He had a red tie.
You old crazy loon, Quentin said. I’m going to tell Dilsey about the way you let him follow everywhere I go. I’m going to make her whip you good.
“I couldn’t stop him.” Luster said. “Come on here, Benjy.”
“Yes you could.” Quentin said. “You didn’t try. You were both snooping around after me. Did Grandmother send you all out here to spy on me.” She jumped out of the swing. “If you dont take him right away this minute and keep him away, I’m going to make Jason whip you.”
“I cant do nothing with him.” Luster said. “You try it if you think you can.”
“Shut your mouth.” Quentin said. “Are you going to get him away.”
“Ah, let him stay.” he said. He had a red tie. The sun was red on it. “Look here, Jack.” He struck a match and put it in his mouth. Then he took the match out of his mouth. It was still burning. “Want to try it.” he said. I went over there. “Open your mouth.” he said. I opened my mouth. Quentin hit the match with her hand and it went away.
“Goddamn you.” Quentin said. “Do you want to get him started. Dont you know he’ll beller all day. I’m going to tell Dilsey on you.” She went away running.
“Here, kid.” he said. “Hey. Come on back. I aint going to fool with him.”
Quentin ran on to the house. She went around the kitchen.
“You played hell then, Jack.” he said. “Aint you.”
“He cant tell what you saying.” Luster said. “He deef and dumb.”
“Is.” he said. “How long’s he been that way.”
“Been that way thirty-three years today.” Luster said. “Born looney. Is you one of them show folks.”
“Why.” he said.
“I dont ricklick seeing you around here before.” Luster said.
“Well, what about it.” he said.
“Nothing.” Luster said. “I going tonight.”
He looked at me.
“You aint the one can play a tune on that saw, is you.” Luster said.
“It’ll cost you a quarter to find that out.” he said. He looked at me. “Why dont they lock him up.” he said. “What’d you bring him out here for.”
“You aint talking to me.” Luster said. “I cant do nothing with him. I just come over here looking for a quarter I lost so I can go to the show tonight. Look like now I aint going to get to go.” Luster looked on the ground. “You aint got no extra quarter, is you.” Luster said.
“No.” he said. “I aint.”
“I reckon I just have to find that other one, then.” Luster said. He put his hand in his pocket. “You dont want to buy no golf ball neither, does you.” Luster said.
“What kind of ball.” he said.
“Golf ball.” Luster said. “I dont want but a quarter.”
“What for.” he said. “What do I want with it.”
“I didn’t think you did.” Luster said. “Come on here, mulehead.” he said. “Come on here and watch them knocking that ball. Here. Here something you can play with along with that jimson weed.” Luster picked it up and gave it to me. It was bright.
“Where’d you get that.” he said. His tie was red in the sun, walking.
“Found it under this here bush.” Luster said. “I thought for a minute it was that quarter I lost.”
He came and took it.
“Hush.” Luster said. “He going to give it back when he done looking at it.”
“Agnes Mabel Becky.” he said. He looked toward the house.
“Hush.” Luster said. “He fixing to give it back.”
He gave it to me and I hushed.
“Who come to see her last night.” he said.
“I dont know.” Luster said. “They comes every night she can climb down that tree. I dont keep no track of them.”
“Damn if one of them didn’t leave a track.” he said. He looked at the house. Then he went and lay down in the swing. “Go away.” he said. “Dont bother me.”
“Come on here.” Luster said. “You done played hell now. Time Miss Quentin get done telling on you.”
We went to the fence and looked through the curling flower spaces. Luster hunted in the grass.
“I had it right here.” he said. I saw the flag flapping, and the sun slanting on the broad grass.
“They’ll be some along soon.” Luster said. “There some now, but they going away. Come on and help me look for it.”
We went along the fence.
“Hush.” Luster said. “How can I make them come over here, if they aint coming. Wait. They’ll be some in a minute. Look yonder. Here they come.”
I went along the fence, to the gate, where the girls passed with their booksatchels. “You, Benjy.” Luster said. “Come back here.”
You cant do no good looking through the gate, T. P. said. Miss Caddy done gone long ways away. Done got married and left you. You cant do no good, holding to the gate and crying. She cant hear you.
What is it he wants, T. P. Mother said. Cant you play with him and keep him quiet.
He want to go down yonder and look through the gate, T. P. said.
Well, he cannot do it, Mother said. It’s raining. You will just have to play with him and keep him quiet. You, Benjamin.
Aint nothing going to quiet him, T. P. said. He think if he down to the gate, Miss Caddy come back.
Nonsense, Mother said.
I could hear them talking. I went out the door and I couldn’t hear them, and I went down to the gate, where the girls passed with their booksatchels. They looked at me, walking fast, with their heads turned. I tried to say, but they went on, and I went along the fence, trying to say, and they went faster. Then they were running and I came to the corner of the fence and I couldn’t go any further, and I held to the fence, looking after them and trying to say.
“You, Benjy.” T. P. said. “What you doing, slipping out. Dont you know Dilsey whip you.”
“You cant do no good, moaning and slobbering through the fence.” T. P. said. “You done skeered them chillen. Look at them, walking on the other side of the street.”
How did he get out, Father said. Did you leave the gate unlatched when you came in, Jason.
Of course not, Jason said. Dont you know I’ve got better sense than to do that. Do you think I wanted anything like this to happen.This family is bad enough, God knows. I could have told you, all the time. I reckon you’ll send him to Jackson, now. If Mrs Burgess dont shoot him first.
Hush, Father said.
I could have told you, all the time, Jason said.
It was open when I touched it, and I held to it in the twilight. I wasn’t crying, and I tried to stop, watching the girls coming along in the twilight. I wasn’t crying.
“There he is.”
They stopped.
“He cant get out. He wont hurt anybody, anyway. Come on.”
“I’m scared to. I’m scared. I’m going to cross the street.”
“He cant get out.”
I wasn’t crying.
“Dont be a ’fraid cat. Come on.”
They came on in the twilight. I wasn’t crying, and I held to the gate. They came slow.
“I’m scared.”
“He wont hurt you. I pass here every day. He just runs along the fence.”
They came on. I opened the gate and they stopped, turning. I was trying to say, and I caught her, trying to say, and she screamed and I was trying to say and trying and the bright shapes began to stop and I tried to get out. I tried to get it off of my face, but the bright shapes were going again. They were going up the hill to where it fell away and I tried to cry. But when I breathed in, I couldn’t breathe out again to cry, and I tried to keep from falling off the hill and I fell off the hill into the bright, whirling shapes.
Here, loony, Luster said. Here come some. Hush your slobbering and moaning, now.
They came to the flag. He took it out and they hit, then he put the flag back.
“Mister.” Luster said.
He looked around. “What.” he said.
“Want to buy a golf ball.” Luster said.
“Let’s see it.” he said. He came to the fence and Luster reached the ball through.
“Where’d you get it.” he said.
“Found it.” Luster said.
“I know that.” he said. “Where. In somebody’s golf bag.”
“I found it laying over here in the yard.” Luster said. “I’ll take a quarter for it.”
“What makes you think it’s yours.” he said.
“I found it.” Luster said.
“Then find yourself another one.” he said. He put it in his pocket and went away.
“I got to go to that show tonight.” Luster said.
“That so.” he said. He went to the table. “Fore, caddie.” he said. He hit.
“I’ll declare.” Luster said. “You fusses when you dont see them and you fusses when you does. Why cant you hush. Dont you reckon folks gets tired of listening to you all the time. Here. You dropped your jimson weed.” He picked it up and gave it back to me. “You needs a new one. You ’bout wore that one out.” We stood at the fence and watched them.
“That white man hard to get along with.” Luster said. “You see him take my ball.” They went on. We went on along the fence. We came to the garden and we couldn’t go any further. I held to the fence and looked through the flower spaces. They went away.
“Now you aint got nothing to moan about.” Luster said. “Hush up. I the one got something to moan over, you aint. Here. Whyn’t you hold on to that weed. You be bellering about it next.” He gave me the flower. “Where you heading now.”
Our shadows were on the grass. They got to the trees before we did. Mine got there first. Then we got there, and then the shadows were gone. There was a flower in the bottle. I put the other flower in it.
“Aint you a grown man, now.” Luster said. “Playing with two weeds in a bottle. You know what they going to do with you when Miss Cahline die. They going to send you to Jackson, where you belong. Mr Jason say so. Where you can hold the bars all day long with the rest of the looneys and slobber. How you like that.”
Luster knocked the flowers over with his hand. “That’s what they’ll do to you at Jackson when you starts bellering.”
I tried to pick up the flowers. Luster picked them up, and they went away. I began to cry.
“Beller.” Luster said. “Beller. You want something to beller about. All right, then. Caddy.” he whispered. “Caddy. Beller now. Caddy.”
“Luster.” Dilsey said from the kitchen.
The flowers came back.
“Hush.” Luster said. “Here they is. Look. It’s fixed back just like it was at first. Hush, now.”
“You, Luster.” Dilsey said.
“Yessum.” Luster said. “We coming. You done played hell. Get up.” He jerked my arm and I got up. We went out of the trees. Our shadows were gone.
“Hush.” Luster said. “Look at all them folks watching you. Hush.”
“You bring him on here.” Dilsey said. She came down the steps.
“What you done to him now.” she said.
“Aint done nothing to him.” Luster said. “He just started bellering.”
“Yes you is.” Dilsey said. “You done something to him. Where you been.”
“Over yonder under them cedars.” Luster said.
“Getting Quentin all riled up.” Dilsey said. “Why cant you keep him away from her. Dont you know she dont like him where she at.”
“Got as much time for him as I is.” Luster said. “He aint none of my uncle.”
“Dont you sass me, nigger boy.” Dilsey said.
“I aint done nothing to him.” Luster said. “He was playing there, and all of a sudden he started bellering.”
“Is you been projecking with his graveyard.” Dilsey said.
“I aint touched his graveyard.” Luster said.
“Dont lie to me, boy.” Dilsey said. We went up the steps and into the kitchen. Dilsey opened the firedoor and drew a chair up in front of it and I sat down. I hushed.
What you want to get her started for, Dilsey said. Whyn’t you keep him out of there.
He was just looking at the fire, Caddy said. Mother was telling him his new name. We didn’t mean to get her started.
I knows you didn’t, Dilsey said. Him at one end of the houseand her at the other. You let my things alone, now. Dont you touch nothing till I get back.
“Aint you shamed of yourself.” Dilsey said. “Teasing him.” She set the cake on the table.
“I aint been teasing him.” Luster said. “He was playing with that bottle full of dogfennel and all of a sudden he started up bellering. You heard him.”
“You aint done nothing to his flowers.” Dilsey said.
“I aint touched his graveyard.” Luster said. “What I want with his truck. I was just hunting for that quarter.”
“You lost it, did you.” Dilsey said. She lit the candles on the cake. Some of them were little ones. Some were big ones cut into little pieces. “I told you to go put it away. Now I reckon you want me to get you another one from Frony.”
“I got to go to that show, Benjy or no Benjy.” Luster said. “I aint going to follow him around day and night both.”
“You going to do just what he want you to, nigger boy.” Dilsey said. “You hear me.”
“Aint I always done it.” Luster said. “Dont I always does what he wants. Dont I, Benjy.”
“Then you keep it up.” Dilsey said. “Bringing him in here, bawling and getting her started too. You all go ahead and eat this cake, now, before Jason come. I dont want him jumping on me about a cake I bought with my own money. Me baking a cake here, with him counting every egg that comes into this kitchen. See can you let him alone now, less you dont want to go to that show tonight.”
Dilsey went away.
“You cant blow out no candles.” Luster said. “Watch me blow them out.” He leaned down and puffed his face. The candles went away. I began to cry. “Hush.” Luster said. “Here. Look at the fire whiles I cuts this cake.”
I could hear the clock, and I could hear Caddy standing behind me, and I could hear the roof. It’s still raining, Caddy said. I hate rain. I hate everything. And then her head came into my lap and she was crying, holding me, and I began to cry. Then I looked at the fire again and the bright, smooth shapes went again. I could hear the clock and the roof and Caddy.
I ate some cake. Luster’s hand came and took another piece. I could hear him eating. I looked at the fire.
A long piece of wire came across my shoulder. It went to the door, and then the fire went away. I began to cry.
“What you howling for now.” Luster said. “Look there.” The fire was there. I hushed. “Cant you set and look at the fire and be quiet like mammy told you.” Luster said. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Here. Here’s you some more cake.”
“What you done to him now.” Dilsey said. “Cant you never let him alone.”
“I was just trying to get him to hush up and not sturb Miss Cahline.” Luster said. “Something got him started again.”
“And I know what that something name.” Dilsey said. “I’m going to get Versh to take a stick to you when he comes home. You just trying yourself. You been doing it all day. Did you take him down to the branch.”
“Nome.” Luster said. “We been right here in this yard all day, like you said.”
His hand came for another piece of cake. Dilsey hit his hand. “Reach it again, and I chop it right off with this here butcher knife.” Dilsey said. “I bet he aint had one piece of it.”
“Yes he is.” Luster said. “He already had twice as much as me. Ask him if he aint.”
“Reach hit one more time.” Dilsey said. “Just reach it.”
That’s right, Dilsey said. I reckon it’ll be my time to cry next. Reckon Maury going to let me cry on him a while, too.
His name’s Benjy now, Caddy said.
How come it is, Dilsey said. He aint wore out the name he was born with yet, is he.
Benjamin came out of the bible, Caddy said. It’s a better name for him than Maury was.
How come it is, Dilsey said.
Mother says it is, Caddy said.
Huh, Dilsey said. Name aint going to help him. Hurt him, neither. Folks dont have no luck, changing names. My name been Dilsey since fore I could remember and it be Dilsey when they’s long forgot me.
How will they know it’s Dilsey, when it’s long forgot, Dilsey, Caddy said.
It’ll be in the Book, honey, Dilsey said. Writ out.
Can you read it, Caddy said.
Wont have to, Dilsey said. They’ll read it for me. All I got to do is say Ise here.
The long wire came across my shoulder, and the fire went away. I began to cry.
Dilsey and Luster fought.
“I seen you.” Dilsey said. “Oho, I seen you.” She dragged Luster out of the corner, shaking him. “Wasn’t nothing bothering him, was they. You just wait till your pappy come home. I wish I was young like I use to be, I’d tear them years right off your head. I good mind to lock you up in that cellar and not let you go to that show tonight, I sho is.”
“Ow, mammy.” Luster said. “Ow, mammy.”
I put my hand out to where the fire had been.
“Catch him.” Dilsey said. “Catch him back.”
My hand jerked back and I put it in my mouth and Dilsey caught me. I could still hear the clock between my voice. Dilsey reached back and hit Luster on the head. My voice was going loud every time.
“Get that soda.” Dilsey said. She took my hand out of my mouth. My voice went louder then and my hand tried to go back to my mouth, but Dilsey held it. My voice went loud. She sprinkled soda on my hand.
“Look in the pantry and tear a piece off of that rag hanging on the nail.” she said. “Hush, now. You dont want to make your ma sick again, does you. Here, look at the fire. Dilsey make your hand stop hurting in just a minute. Look at the fire.” She opened the fire door. I looked at the fire, but my hand didn’t stop and I didn’t stop. My hand was trying to go to my mouth but Dilsey held it.
She wrapped the cloth around it. Mother said,
“What is it now. Cant I even be sick in peace. Do I have to get up out of bed to come down to him, with two grown negroes to take care of him.”
“He all right now.” Dilsey said. “He going to quit. He just burnt his hand a little.”
“With two grown negroes, you must bring him into the house, bawling.” Mother said. “You got him started on purpose, because you know I’m sick.” She came and stood by me. “Hush.” she said. “Right this minute. Did you give him this cake.”
“I bought it.” Dilsey said. “It never come out of Jason’s pantry. I fixed him some birthday.”
“Do you want to poison him with that cheap store cake.” Mother said. “Is that what you are trying to do. Am I never to have one minute’s peace.”
“You go on back up stairs and lay down.” Dilsey said. “It’ll quit smarting him in a minute now, and he’ll hush. Come on, now.”
“And leave him down here for you all to do something else to.” Mother said. “How can I lie there, with him bawling down here. Benjamin. Hush this minute.”
“They aint nowhere else to take him.” Dilsey said. “We aint got the room we use to have. He cant stay out in the yard, crying where all the neighbors can see him.”
“I know, I know.” Mother said. “It’s all my fault. I’ll be gone soon, and you and Jason will both get along better.” She began to cry.
“You hush that, now.” Dilsey said. “You’ll get yourself down again. You come on back up stairs. Luster going to take him to the liberry and play with him till I get his supper done.”
Dilsey and Mother went out.
“Hush up.” Luster said. “You hush up. You want me to burn your other hand for you. You aint hurt. Hush up.”
“Here.” Dilsey said. “Stop crying, now.” She gave me the slipper, and I hushed. “Take him to the liberry.” she said. “And if I hear him again, I going to whip you myself.”
We went to the library. Luster turned on the light. The windows went black, and the dark tall place on the wall came and I went and touched it. It was like a door, only it wasn’t a door.
The fire came behind me and I went to the fire and sat on the floor, holding the slipper. The fire went higher. It went onto the cushion in Mother’s chair.
“Hush up.” Luster said. “Cant you never get done for a while. Here I done built you a fire, and you wont even look at it.”
Your name is Benjy. Caddy said. Do you hear. Benjy. Benjy.
Dont tell him that, Mother said. Bring him here.
Caddy lifted me under the arms.
Get up, Mau—I mean Benjy, she said.
Dont try to carry him, Mother said. Cant you lead him over here. Is that too much for you to think of.
I can carry him, Caddy said. “Let me carry him up, Dilsey.”
“Go on, Minute.” Dilsey said. “You aint big enough to tote a flea. You go on and be quiet, like Mr. Jason said.”
There was a light at the top of the stairs. Father was there, in his shirt sleeves. The way he looked said Hush. Caddy whispered,
“Is Mother sick.”
Versh set me down and we went into Mother’s room. There was a fire. It was rising and falling on the walls. There was another fire in the mirror. I could smell the sickness. It was a cloth folded on Mother’s head. Her hair was on the pillow. The fire didn’t reach it, but it shone on her hand, where her rings were jumping.
“Come and tell Mother goodnight.” Caddy said. We went to the bed. The fire went out of the mirror. Father got up from the bed and lifted me up and Mother put her hand on my head.
“What time is it.” Mother said. Her eyes were closed.
“Ten minutes to seven.” Father said.
“It’s too early for him to go to bed.” Mother said. “He’ll wake up at daybreak, and I simply cannot bear another day like today.”
“There, there.” Father said. He touched Mother’s face.
“I know I’m nothing but a burden to you.” Mother said. “But I’ll be gone soon. Then you will be rid of my bothering.”
“Hush.” Father said. “I’ll take him downstairs awhile.” He took me up. “Come on, old fellow. Let’s go downstairs awhile. We’ll have to be quiet while Quentin is studying, now.”
Caddy went and leaned her face over the bed and Mother’s hand came into the firelight. Her rings jumped on Caddy’s back.
Mother’s sick, Father said. Dilsey will put you to bed. Where’s Quentin.
Versh getting him, Dilsey said.
Father stood and watched us go past. We could hear Mother in her room. Caddy said “Hush.” Jason was still climbing the stairs. He had his hands in his pockets.
“You all must be good tonight.” Father said. “And be quiet, so you wont disturb Mother.”
“We’ll be quiet.” Caddy said. “You must be quiet now, Jason.” she said. We tiptoed.
We could hear the roof. I could see the fire in the mirror too. Caddy lifted me again.
“Come on, now.” she said. “Then you can come back to the fire. Hush, now.”
“Candace.” Mother said.
“Hush, Benjy.” Caddy said. “Mother wants you a minute. Like a good boy. Then you can come back. Benjy.”
Caddy let me down, and I hushed.
“Let him stay here, Mother. When he’s through looking at the fire, then you can tell him.”
“Candace.” Mother said. Caddy stooped and lifted me. We staggered. “Candace.” Mother said.
“Hush.” Caddy said. “You can still see it. Hush.”
“Bring him here.” Mother said. “He’s too big for you to carry. You must stop trying. You’ll injure your back. All of our women have prided themselves on their carriage. Do you want to look like a washer-woman.”
“He’s not too heavy.” Caddy said. “I can carry him.”
“Well, I dont want him carried, then.” Mother said. “A five year old child. No, no. Not in my lap. Let him stand up.”
“If you’ll hold him, he’ll stop.” Caddy said. “Hush.” she said. “You can go right back. Here. Here’s your cushion. See.”
“Dont, Candace.” Mother said.
“Let him look at it and he’ll be quiet.” Caddy said. “Hold up just a minute while I slip it out. There, Benjy. Look.”
I looked at it and hushed.
“You humour him too much.” Mother said. “You and your father both. You dont realise that I am the one who has to pay for it. Damuddy spoiled Jason that way and it took him two years to outgrow it, and I am not strong enough to go through the same thing with Benjamin.”
“You dont need to bother with him.” Caddy said. “I like to take care of him. Dont I, Benjy.”
“Candace.” Mother said. “I told you not to call him that. It wasbad enough when your father insisted on calling you by that silly nickname, and I will not have him called by one. Nicknames are vulgar. Only common people use them. Benjamin.” she said.
“Look at me.” Mother said.
“Benjamin.” she said. She took my face in her hands and turned it to hers.
“Benjamin.” she said. “Take that cushion away, Candace.”
“He’ll cry.” Caddy said.
“Take that cushion away, like I told you.” Mother said. “He must learn to mind.”
The cushion went away.
“Hush, Benjy.” Caddy said.
“You go over there and sit down.” Mother said. “Benjamin.” She held my face to hers.
“Stop that.” she said. “Stop it.”
But I didn’t stop and Mother caught me in her arms and began to cry, and I cried. Then the cushion came back and Caddy held it above Mother’s head. She drew Mother back in the chair and Mother lay crying against the red and yellow cushion.
“Hush, Mother.” Caddy said. “You go upstairs and lay down, so you can be sick. I’ll go get Dilsey.” She led me to the fire and I looked at the bright, smooth shapes. I could hear the fire and the roof.
Father took me up. He smelled like rain.
“Well, Benjy.” he said. “Have you been a good boy today.”
Caddy and Jason were fighting in the mirror.
“You, Caddy.” Father said.
They fought. Jason began to cry.
“Caddy.” Father said. Jason was crying. He wasn’t fighting anymore but we could see Caddy fighting in the mirror and Father put me down and went into the mirror and fought too. He lifted Caddy up. She fought. Jason lay on the floor, crying. He had the scissors in his hand. Father held Caddy.
“He cut up all Benjy’s dolls.” Caddy said. “I’ll slit his gizzle.”
“Candace.” Father said.
“I will.” Caddy said. “I will.” She fought. Father held her. She kicked at Jason. He rolled into the corner, out of the mirror.Father brought Caddy to the fire. They were all out of the mirror. Only the fire was in it. Like the fire was in a door.
“Stop that.” Father said. “Do you want to make Mother sick in her room.”
Caddy stopped. “He cut up all the dolls Mau—Benjy and I made.” Caddy said. “He did it just for meanness.”
“I didn’t.” Jason said. He was sitting up, crying. “I didn’t know they were his. I just thought they were some old papers.”
“You couldn’t help but know.” Caddy said. “You did it just.”
“Hush.” Father said. “Jason.” he said.
“I’ll make you some more tomorrow.” Caddy said. “We’ll make a lot of them. Here, you can look at the cushion, too.”
Jason came in.
I kept telling you to hush, Luster said.
What’s the matter now, Jason said.
“He just trying hisself.” Luster said. “That the way he been going on all day.”
“Why dont you let him alone, then.” Jason said. “If you cant keep him quiet, you’ll have to take him out to the kitchen. The rest of us cant shut ourselves up in a room like Mother does.”
“Mammy say keep him out the kitchen till she get supper.” Luster said.
“Then play with him and keep him quiet.” Jason said. “Do I have to work all day and then come home to a mad house.” He opened the paper and read it.
You can look at the fire and the mirror and the cushion too, Caddy said. You wont have to wait until supper to look at the cushion, now. We could hear the roof. We could hear Jason too, crying loud beyond the wall.
Dilsey said, “You come, Jason. You letting him alone, is you.”
“Yessum.” Luster said.
“Where Quentin.” Dilsey said. “Supper near bout ready.”
“I dont know’m.” Luster said. “I aint seen her.”
Dilsey went away. “Quentin.” she said in the hall. “Quentin. Supper ready.”
We could hear the roof. Quentin smelled like rain, too.
What did Jason do, he said.
He cut up all Benjy’s dolls, Caddy said.
Mother said to not call him Benjy, Quentin said. He sat on the rug by us. I wish it wouldn’t rain, he said. You cant do anything.
You’ve been in a fight, Caddy said. Haven’t you.
It wasn’t much, Quentin said.
You can tell it, Caddy said. Father’ll see it.
I dont care, Quentin said. I wish it wouldn’t rain.
Quentin said, “Didn’t Dilsey say supper was ready.”
“Yessum.” Luster said. Jason looked at Quentin. Then he read the paper again. Quentin came in. “She say it bout ready.” Luster said. Quentin jumped down in Mother’s chair. Luster said,
“Mr Jason.”
“What.” Jason said.
“Let me have two bits.” Luster said.
“What for.” Jason said.
“To go to the show tonight.” Luster said.
“I thought Dilsey was going to get a quarter from Frony for you.” Jason said.
“She did.” Luster said. “I lost it. Me and Benjy hunted all day for that quarter. You can ask him.”
“Then borrow one from him.” Jason said. “I have to work for mine.” He read the paper. Quentin looked at the fire. The fire was in her eyes and on her mouth. Her mouth was red.
“I tried to keep him away from there.” Luster said.
“Shut your mouth.” Quentin said. Jason looked at her.
“What did I tell you I was going to do if I saw you with that show fellow again.” he said. Quentin looked at the fire. “Did you hear me.” Jason said.
“I heard you.” Quentin said. “Why dont you do it, then.”