ACT II.

SCENE—A Parlour.

Enter MissPickleandMargery.

Mar.And so I was telling your ladyship, poor little master does so take it to heart, and so weep and wail, it almost makes me cry to hear him.

Miss P.Well, well, since he begins already to repent, his punishment shall be but short; have you brought your boy with you?

Mar.Aye, have I—poor Tommy, he came from a-board a ship but now, and is so grown, and altered—sure enough he believes every word I have told him, as your honour ordered me, and I warrant, is so sheepish and shamefaced—but here comes my master—he has heard it all already.

EnterPickle.

But, my lady—shall I fetch my poor Tommy to you, he’s waiting without.

Pick.What, that ill-looking young rascal in the hall?—he with the jacket and trowsers.

Mar.Ay, your honour!—what, then, you have seen him.

Pick.Seen him!—ay, and felt him too.—The booby met me bolt at the corner, run his cursed carotty poll full in my face, and has loosened half the teeth in my head, I believe.

Mar.Poor lad! he’s a sailor, and but aukward as yet, and so shy I warrant—but will your honour be kind to him.

Pick.Kind to him? Why, I am to pass for his father—am not I?

Mar.Aye, I wish your honour had been poor Tommy’s father—but no such luck for me, as I say to my husband.

Pick.Indeed!—Your husband must be very much obliged to you, and so am I.

Mar.But do your honour see my poor Tommy, once dressed in his fine smart clothes——

Pick.Damme! I don’t half like that Tommy.

Miss P.Yes, yes, you shall—but now go and fetch him here to us; I should like much to see him.

Mar.(going) Do you now, madam, speak kindly to him—for poor boy, he’s quite dash’d.

[Exit.

Pick.Yes, and he has dash’d some of my teeth out—plague on him.

Miss P.Now, Mr. Pickle, I insist upon your observing a proper decorum and behaviour towards this poor lad; observe the condescension of my deportment—methinks I feel a strange inclination already in his favour, perhaps I may advance him bye and bye, to be my page—shall I brother?—Oh, here he comes—and I declare, as prepossessing a countenance as ever I beheld.

EnterMargeryandLittle Pickleas a sailor boy.

Come hither child, was ever there such an engaging air?

Mar.Go Tommy, do as you are bid, there’s a good boy—thank his honour for his goodness to you.

Little P.Be you the old fellow that’s just come to be my father?

Pick.(aside) Old fellow! he’s devilish dashed to be sure—yes, I am the old fellow, as you call it—will you be a good boy?

Little P.Ay, but what will you gi’ me?—must I be good for nothing?

Pick.(mimicking) Good for nothing! nay, that I’ll swear you are already. Well, and how long have you been come from sea? eh, how do you like a sailor’s life?

Little Pickle, Sings.(NO SYMPHONY.)—Tune,Malton Oysters.I am a brisk and sprightly lad,But just come home from sea, Sir!Of all the lives I ever led,A sailor’s life for me, Sir.Yeo, yeo, yeo—Yeo, yeo, yeo.Whilst the boatswain pipes all hands.With a yeo, yeo, yeo, Sir.II.What girl but loves the merry tar?We o’er the ocean roam, Sir,In every clime we find a port,In every port a home, Sir.Yeo, yeo, yeo—&c. &c.III.But, when our Country’s foes are nigh,Each hastens to his gun, Sir,We make the boasting Frenchmen fly,And bang the haughty Don, Sir.Yeo, yeo, yeo—&c. &c.IV.Our foes subdued, once more on shore,We spend our cash with glee, Sir,And when all’s gone, we drown our care,And out again to sea, Sir.Yeo, yeo, yeo—Yeo, yeo, yeo.And when all’s gone, again to sea,With a yeo, yeo, yeo, Sir.

Little Pickle, Sings.

(NO SYMPHONY.)—Tune,Malton Oysters.

I am a brisk and sprightly lad,But just come home from sea, Sir!Of all the lives I ever led,A sailor’s life for me, Sir.Yeo, yeo, yeo—Yeo, yeo, yeo.Whilst the boatswain pipes all hands.With a yeo, yeo, yeo, Sir.

I am a brisk and sprightly lad,

But just come home from sea, Sir!

Of all the lives I ever led,

A sailor’s life for me, Sir.

Yeo, yeo, yeo—Yeo, yeo, yeo.

Whilst the boatswain pipes all hands.

With a yeo, yeo, yeo, Sir.

II.

What girl but loves the merry tar?We o’er the ocean roam, Sir,In every clime we find a port,In every port a home, Sir.Yeo, yeo, yeo—&c. &c.

What girl but loves the merry tar?

We o’er the ocean roam, Sir,

In every clime we find a port,

In every port a home, Sir.

Yeo, yeo, yeo—&c. &c.

III.

But, when our Country’s foes are nigh,Each hastens to his gun, Sir,We make the boasting Frenchmen fly,And bang the haughty Don, Sir.Yeo, yeo, yeo—&c. &c.

But, when our Country’s foes are nigh,

Each hastens to his gun, Sir,

We make the boasting Frenchmen fly,

And bang the haughty Don, Sir.

Yeo, yeo, yeo—&c. &c.

IV.

Our foes subdued, once more on shore,We spend our cash with glee, Sir,And when all’s gone, we drown our care,And out again to sea, Sir.Yeo, yeo, yeo—Yeo, yeo, yeo.And when all’s gone, again to sea,With a yeo, yeo, yeo, Sir.

Our foes subdued, once more on shore,

We spend our cash with glee, Sir,

And when all’s gone, we drown our care,

And out again to sea, Sir.

Yeo, yeo, yeo—Yeo, yeo, yeo.

And when all’s gone, again to sea,

With a yeo, yeo, yeo, Sir.

Pick.So this is the way I am to be entertained in future, with forecastle jokes, and tarpauling songs.

Miss P.Brother, do not speak so harshly to the poor lad, he’s among strangers, and wants encouragement—come to me, my pretty boy, I’ll be your friend——

Little P.Friend! oh, what, you’re my grandmother—father, must not I call her granne?

Pick.What, he wants encouragement, sister—yes, poor soul, he’s among strangers—he’s found out one relation, however, sister—this boy’s assurance diverts me—I like him (aside.)

Little P.Granne’s mortish cross and frumpish—la father, what makes your mother, there, look so plaguy foul-weather’d.

Miss P.Mother, indeed.

Pick.Oh, nothing at all, my dear, she’s the best humoured person in the world—go throw yourself ather feet, and ask her for her blessing—perhaps she may gi’ you something.

Little P.A blessing! I sha’n’t be much richer for that neither—perhaps she may give me half a crown; I’ll throw myself at her feet, and ask her for a guinea—(kneels)—Dear granne, give me your picture (catches hold of it.)

Miss P.Stand off, wretch, am I to be robbed, as well as insulted?

Mar.Fie, child, learn to behave yourself better.

Little P.Behave myself—learnyouto behave yourself, I should not have thought ofyouindeed—get you gone—what do you here? (beats her out.)

[and Exit.

Pick.Well, sister, this plan of yours succeeds I hope to your satisfaction—he’ll make a mighty pretty page, sister—what an engaging air, he has sister; this is some revenge for her treatment of my poor boy (aside).

Miss P.I perceive this to be all a contrivance, and the boy is taught to insult me thus—you may repent of this unparalleled treatment of unprotected innocence.

[Exit.

Pick.What, she means her lover, the player-man, I suppose, but I’ll watch her, and her consols too; and if I catch him again in my house, it shall be his last appearance this season; I can tell him that, and the next part he plays, shall be Captain Macheath in the prison scene, egad.

[Exit.

EnterLittle Pickle, alone.

Little P.There they go, ha! ha! ha! my scheme has gone on rarely, rather better than theirs, I think.—Blessing on the old nurse for consenting toit—I’ll teach ’em to turn people out of doors—let me see, what trick shall I play ’em now—suppose I set the house on fire—no—no—’tis too soon for that as yet—that will do very well bye and bye—let me consider—I wish I could see my sister, I’ll discover myself to her, and then we might contrive something together nicely—that staircase leads to her room, I’ll try and call her (goes to the door and listens) there’s nobody in the way!—Hist! hist!—Maria—Maria—she hears me, she’s coming this way—(runs and hides himself.)

EnterMaria.

Maria.Sure somebody called me (looks around). No, there’s nobody here—heigho—I’ve almost cryed myself blind about my poor brother, for so I shall always call him, ay, and love him too—(going).

Little P.(running forward) Maria!—sister!—stop an instant.

Maria.My brother!—Charles—impossible.

Little P.’Tis e’en so, and faith ’twas all a trick about the nurse and child; I coax’d the old woman to confess the whole to me—you can’t contrive to kill yourself for the loss of me, can you?—that would have a fine effect—is there nothing I can think of?—Suppose you pretend to fall in love with me, and we run away together.—

Maria.That will do admirably—depend upon my playing my part with a good will, for I owe some revenge for their treatment of you, besides, you know I can refuse you nothing.

EnterOld Pickle, behind.

Little P.Thank you a thousand times, my dearest Maria, thus then we’ll contrive it. (seeing Pickle coming behind, they pretend to whisper.)

Old P.What! how’s this!—“Dear Maria, and I’ll refuse you nothing.”—Death and the devil, my daughter has fallen in love with that young scoundrel and his yeo, yeo, yeo—she too, she embraces him—(comes forward)—mighty well, young madam—’tis mighty well, but come, you shall be locked up immediately, and you, you young rascal, be whipt out of the house.

Little P.You will not be so hard hearted, sure—we will not part—here is my anchor fixed—here am I moor’d for ever.—(Old Pickle takes hold of her, and endeavours to take her away, she resists, and Little Pickle detains her by the hand.)

Maria.(romantically) No—we’ll never part—Oh, cruel, cruel fate.

Old P.He’s infected her with his assurance already.—What, you young minx, do you own you love him?

Maria.Love him! Sir, I adore him, and in spite of your utmost opposition, ever, ever shall.

Old P.Oh, ruined! undone—what a wretched old man I am—but, Maria, child—

Maria.Think not to dissuade me, sir—vain attempt—no, sir, my affections are fixed never to be recalled.

Old P.Oh dear, what shall I do? what will become of me? Oh, a plague on my plots—I’ve lost my daughter, and for ought I know, my son too—why child, he’s a poor beggar, he’s not worth a sixpence.

Maria.My soul abhors so low a thought—I despise wealth—know, sir, I cherish nobler sentiments.

The generous youth shall own,I love him for himself alone.

The generous youth shall own,

I love him for himself alone.

Old P.What, poetry too—nay then, it is time to prevent further mischief—go to your room—a good key shall assure your safety, and this young rascal shall go back to sea, and his yeo, yeo, yeo, if he will.

Maria.(going) I obey your harsh commands, sir, and am gone—but, alas! I leave my heart behind.

[Exit Maria.

Old P.Now, sir, for you—don’t look so audacious, sirrah—don’t fancy you belong to me—I utterly disclaim you——

Little P.(laughing) But that is too late now, old gentleman, you have publickly said I was your son, and d——n me, I’ll make you stand to it, sir, (threatning.)

Old P.The devil—here is an affair!—John, Thomas, William;

EnterServants.

Take that fellow, and turn him out of doors immediately—take him, I say—

Servants.Fellow! who, sir?

Old P.Who! why zounds,himthere; don’t you see him?

John.What, my new young master—No, sir, I’ve turned out one already, I’ll turn out no more.

Old P.He’s not your young master—he’s no son of mine—away with him, I say.

Sus.No, sir, we know our young master too well for all that; why he’s as like your honour as one pea is like another.

John.Ay, heaven bless him, and may he shortly succeed your honour in your estate and fortune.

Old P.(in a passion, walking up and down) Rogues! villains! I am abused, robbed—(turns them out) there’s a conspiracy against me, and this little pirate is at the head of the gang.

Enter Servant, with a Letter.

Odso, but here’s a letter from my poor boy, I see—this is a comfort, indeed. Well, I’ll send for him home now without delay. (reads) “Honoured sir, I heartily repent of having so far abused your goodness, whilst I was blest with your protection, but as I fear no penitence will ever restore me to your favour, I have resolved to put it out of my power again to offend you, by instantly bidding adieu to my country for ever.” Here, John, run, go directly to Margery’s and fetch home my son, and——

Little P.(interrupting him) You may save yourself the trouble, ’tis too late, you’ll never bring him too now, make as many signals, or fire as many guns as you please.

Old P.What do you mean?

Little P.Mean, why he and I have changed births you know.

Old P.Changed births!

Little P.Ay, I’m got into his hammock, and he’s got into mine, that’s all; he’s some leagues off at sea, by this time, for the tide serves, and the wind is fair; Botany Bay’s the word, my boys.

Old P.Botany Bay! well, I’ll instantly see if ’tis true, why, I’ll come back, just to blow your brains out, and lo be either hang’d or sent to Botany Bay after him.

[Exeunt, different ways

SCENE—A Garden——A Seat in a Bower, much shaded with Trees.

EnterMiss Pickle.

This is the hour of my appointment with Mr. Tagg, and my brother’s absence is favourable indeed—well, after such treatment, can he be surprised if I throw myself into the arms of so passionate an admirer; my fluttering heart tells me this is an important crisis in my happiness—how much these vile men have to answer for in thus bewitching us silly girls.

Taggrepeats behind the Scenes.

The heavy hours are almost pastThat part my love and me,

The heavy hours are almost past

That part my love and me,

Enters,

My longing eyes may hope at last,Their only joy to see.

My longing eyes may hope at last,

Their only joy to see.

Thus most charming of her sex, do I prostrate myself before the shrine of your beauty. (kneels)

Miss P.Mr. Tagg, I fear I never can be yours.

Tagg.Adorable, lovely, the most beautified Ophelia.

Miss P.Indeed Mr Tagg, you make me blush with your compliments.

Tagg.Compliments! oh! call not by that hacknied term the voice of truth—lovely nymph, ah! deign to hear me, I’ll teach you what it is to love.

Miss P.Love—dear Mr. Tagg.—oh! moderate your transports—be advised, think no more of this fatal passion.

Tagg.Think no more of it.

Can love be controll’d by advice,Will Cupid our mother’s obey.

Can love be controll’d by advice,

Will Cupid our mother’s obey.

Oh then consent my angel to join our hearts in one, or give me my death in a bumper.

Miss P.(aside) Can I refuse any thing to such a lover?—but were I, my dear friend to consent to our tender union, how could we contrive to escape, my brother’s vigilance would overtake us and you might have reason to repent of his anger.

Tagg.Oh, he’s a Goth, a mere Vandyke, my love.

But fear makes the danger seem double,Say Hymen what mischiefs can trouble.

But fear makes the danger seem double,

Say Hymen what mischiefs can trouble.

I have contrived the plot and every scene of the elopement, but in this shady blest retreat will I unfold it all—lets sit down like Jessica and the fair Lorenzo here.

Would you taste the noon tide air,To yon fragrant bower repair.

Would you taste the noon tide air,

To yon fragrant bower repair.

[They sit in the bower.

Since musick is the food of love, we’ll to the Nightingale’s complaining notes, tune our distresses and accord our woes.

WhileTaggis singing in Burlesque,Little Picklesteals round the Stage and gets behind the Bower, and sewstheir cloaths together, and then goes out behind unperceived by them.

Miss P.Oh! I could listen thus for ever to the united charms of love and harmony—but how are we to plan our escape.

Tagg.In a mean and low attire, muffled up in a great cloak and disguised with a large hat, will I await you in this happy spot—but why my soul—why not this instant fly—this moment will I seize my tender bit of lamb—d——m me, there I had her as dead as mutton. (aside)

Miss P.No, I am not yet equipped for an elopement, and what is of more consequence still, I have got with me a casket of jewels I have prepared, rather too valuable to leave behind.

Tagg.Thatisof some consequence, indeed, to me.

My diamond my pearl,Then be a good girlUntil I come to you again.

My diamond my pearl,

Then be a good girl

Until I come to you again.

Miss P.Come back again in the disguise immediately, and if fortune favours faithful lovers’ vows, I will contrive to slip out to you.

Tagg.Dispose of me, lovely creature, as you please, but don’t forget the casket.

Little Pickleruns in.

Granne! granne!

Miss P.What rude interruption is this?

Little P.Nothing at all—only father is coming, that’s all.

Tagg.The devil he is—what a catastrophe!

[both rise.

Miss P.One last adieu. (embracing) Think you we shall ever meet again! (they find themselves fastened together, and struggle)

Tagg.D——m me! if I think we shall ever part.

Miss P.(tenderly) Don’t detain me, won’t you let me go?

Tagg.Zounds I wish you were gone (they struggle, and at last get free, and run off different ways.)

EnterOld Pickle.

Pick.Well, all’s not so bad as I feared—he is not yet gone to sea, and Margery assures me I shall see him e’er long, quite another thing from what he was—but now let me look after my sister—though she mademeplay the fool, I’ll take care to preventher—I must not give up the consols to——but odso, I have not yet seen my daughter, I’ll toherfirst, least young yeo, yeo, yeo, should get her ship’t off—and when I have secured fifteen, I’ll look after fifty—but who’s coming here? I’ll conceal myself and watch.

EnterMiss Pickle, with casket.

Miss P.(passing over to the bower) Mr. Tagg, Mr. Tagg—I hope he is returned—how I tremble—kind Cupid, guide your votary’s feeble steps—Oh, my dear Mr. Tagg, take the casket, and let us make haste, that we may escape before my brother comes. [catches hold ofLittle Pickle, who is behind the bower, disguised asTagg.Little Picklekissing her hand. They run towardsOld Pickle, who comes forward and stops them.]

Pick.Your most obedient humble servant, madam—well said fifty, egad—sir, your most obsequious, Mr. Alexander, Mr. Romeo—John—William—Thomas, (calling the servants) you shan’t want attendants mighty prince, but mayhap you had rather sleep in a castle, great hero, we have a convenient goal close by—where you’ll be very safe, most illustrious chief.

Miss P.Heavens! a Jail! poor dear Mr. Tagg, a victim to his love for me—oh, let us implore his forgiveness—intreat him to release you. (toTagg.)

Little P.(kneels and throws off his disguise asTagg, and appears in his own hair, though still in the sailor’s dress) Thus let me implore for pardon, and believe, that a repentance so sincere as mine, will never suffer my heart again to wander from it’s duty towards him.

Pick.What’s this? my son (embracingLittle Pickle) Odds my heart, I’m glad to see him once more—Oh you dear little fellow!—but you wicked scoundrel, how did you dare play me such tricks?

Little P.Tricks! Oh, sir, recollect you have kindly pardon’d them already; and now you must intercede for me with my aunt, that I may have her forgiveness too, for preventing her from eloping as she designed with her tender swain Mr. Tagg.

Pick.Mr. Tagg, odso, then the consols were sinking apace, but you have raised them once more.

Little P.And do you then, indeed, sir; sincerely forgive me, and forget all my follies?

Pick.Forget ’em, ah! had you vex’d me as much again, I should be more than repaid by the happiness of this moment.

Little P.Kind, sir, my joy is then complete, and I will never more offend.

[comes forward.

FINALE and Chorus.—Little Pickle.Dear sir, once more receive me,And take me to your arms,Nor drive me forth to wanderExpos’d to rude alarms.His} duty, love, obedience,My }This penitence refuse,Then ne’er adopt another child,For {he} alone {is} yours.{I }{am}Chorus—My duty, love, &c.II.Our} joy is then completed,My }Wou’d but each gen’rous heart,With partial favour smiling,Applaud the artless jest.The object of these childish pranks,Was barely to amuse ’em.Then censure not a school-boy’s faults,But laugh at, and excuse ’em.Chorus—The object of my duty, love, &c.

FINALE and Chorus.—Little Pickle.

Dear sir, once more receive me,And take me to your arms,Nor drive me forth to wanderExpos’d to rude alarms.His} duty, love, obedience,My }This penitence refuse,Then ne’er adopt another child,For {he} alone {is} yours.{I }{am}Chorus—My duty, love, &c.

Dear sir, once more receive me,

And take me to your arms,

Nor drive me forth to wander

Expos’d to rude alarms.

His} duty, love, obedience,

My }

This penitence refuse,

Then ne’er adopt another child,

For {he} alone {is} yours.

{I }{am}

Chorus—My duty, love, &c.

II.

Our} joy is then completed,My }Wou’d but each gen’rous heart,With partial favour smiling,Applaud the artless jest.The object of these childish pranks,Was barely to amuse ’em.Then censure not a school-boy’s faults,But laugh at, and excuse ’em.Chorus—The object of my duty, love, &c.

Our} joy is then completed,

My }

Wou’d but each gen’rous heart,

With partial favour smiling,

Applaud the artless jest.

The object of these childish pranks,

Was barely to amuse ’em.

Then censure not a school-boy’s faults,

But laugh at, and excuse ’em.

Chorus—The object of my duty, love, &c.

FINIS.

JUST PUBLISHED.

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