PUNCTUALITY
In a Coachman is indispensable,—if he has 15 or 20 Minutes’ notice that he will be wanted, there is no excuse for his not being ready by that time; for a regular Coachman gets his Harness and Carriage clean and ready to put to, early in the day.
In establishments where it is not known at what hour a Carriage will be wanted, but when it is, is wanted at a minute’s notice, the Horses are kept ready Harnessed.
Desire him always to be at your Door,Five Minutes beforethe time he is ordered, especiallywhen ordered at an unusual hour;—when you are going out “on actual Service,” his being ready at the desired moment, is infinitely more important than when you are going out at the usual hour merely for Amusement. One Minute of Your Time, is often worth an Hour of His.
Tell your Coachman, that “The Oraclehas declaredthat—He who sometimes comesBeforethe time he is ordered, manifests respect for his Employers and a laudable Anxiety to obey Orders.
“He who never comes tillthe Last Moment, presents presumptive evidence that he is disposed to do no more work than he is obliged to do.
“He who comesAfterthe Time, would not come then, unless Fear flogged him:
“Encourage the First,
“Endure the Second,
“Do as you like with the Last.”
One Friend informed me that he cured an excellent Coachman of his neglect of being punctual (which was the only fault he had)—by hiring a Hackney Coach, whenever his own Carriage was not at the Door to a minute, and deducting the charge thereof from his Wages. Another makes it part of the Agreement, in hiring a Coachman, that he shall forfeit a Shilling for every Minute he comes after the time he is ordered.
RememberTom Thrifty’saccount of that excellentDisciplinarian, old AdmiralEverready.
“The first time I received Orders to attend his Honour on a Cruise,—‘Tom Thrifty,’ (said the gallant Veteran,) ‘be sure, have Every Thing ready for Action to-Morrow Morning before Eight o’Clock.Getting out well is half the Battle.’ ‘I will take care, your Honour, not to be later than Eight.’
“‘Notlater, Sir!—Pipe all hands aQuarter Before, if you please, Sir!!—a QuarterBefore, Sir!!!—to that Quarter of an Hour I owe all my success in Life!!!—Do you think that OldEverreadywould have won every Battle he has fought, if he had not always had a Broadside ready to pour into the Enemy,Beforeit was expected that any Engagement could possibly take place!—Oh! that precious Quarter of an Hour!—it has been, as a body may say, the Guardian Spirit which has gained me all my Laurels. Now, my Boy, let me heave a bit of advice to You; if you wish to keep clear of the shoals ofDisappointment, takePreparationfor yourPurser, andPunctualityfor your Pilot—they will put you into the track ofPreferment; and if you mind that your vessel is well ballasted withIntegrity, you may carry almost what Sail you will with safety, and soon hope to cast anchor for Life in the Bay of Independence.’”
When you order your Coachman to call for you, tell him to send you notice of his arrival as soon as he comes, and that within Two minutes after you hear of it, you will either come or send to him—if you do not, to conclude that you have not been told, and desire him peremptorily to order that you may be informed of it, for some people are Rude enough to desire their Servants not to tell their Guests that their Carriage is come, until just such time as they wish them gone.
The surest plan of protecting yourself from the tricks of such folks, and of knowing when your Carriage is come, is to give your Coachman aLetterdirected to you, on which is written “An Immediate Answer is desired.” Direct him to deliver this wherever you are, with a special request that it may begiven to you directly, as itrequires an Immediate Answer: this may also serve the purpose of furnishing you with an excellent excuse to get away as early as you please.
Do not order your Carriage till you actually want it; and enter it the moment it comes to the Door, especially in Cold and Wet Weather.
Have aGood going Clockplaced where it may be easily seen by all the Members of your Household; by which let them set their Watches. Desire your Coachman, when he comes for Orders, to set his by this Clock; and then, if he is a steady fellow, by referring to your own, you will see when he comes for you. Let his Watch be so regulated, that it may rather gain than lose. If it be not a very good one, if it is set every morning by a good clock, it will answer almost all the purposes of aGoodone. Keep itfive minutes too Fast, and tell him to keep all appointments by its Dial, as if it shewed the True time.
Before you start from home, give your Coachman distinct directionswhen to come for you; and do this yourself: if you do it by deputy, or when you get out of your Carriage, and probably in a hurry, a mistake is easily enough made. When he is to call for you at any place with which you are not quite certain that he is acquainted, let the plainest possible Direction thereto be given him in Writing.
An experienced Driver can always calculate how long he will be in going; and when you tell him to come for you, you may be certain that he need never be more than five minutes after the time you order him: thus, you will be independent of any information from the Servants at the House where you visit.
“Punctual Masters make Punctual Servants.”
If you go out to Dinner in London, a distance exceeding Three Miles, it is more advisable to put up your Horses, than to send them Home, as the wear of the Carriage in doing the double work of going home and coming again for you, will cost as much as you will be chargedfor Hay at a Livery Stable, which will not be more than Two Shillings (including 6d.to the Hostler). Moreover, it is convenient to have the power of returning home sooner or later, as you like, without danger of your Servants and Horses catching Cold in waiting for you.
It is customary to allow the Coachman some refreshment when your Horses are put up, while you are at Dinner. Whatever you choose to give, give in Money.
If you go out to Dinner in the Country, your Nags will like to Dine too, and have half a peck of Corn and some Hay also. Different Inns vary in their charges from 2s.6d.(including 6d.to the Hostler) to 3s.6d.
When you go out to Dinner in the Environs of Town, where you have not been before, and are unacquainted with the Topography of the Country, start at least a quarter of an hour earlier than you may think is absolutely necessary, that you may have time to find the House, which is not always very easy, especially if your friend has only lately resided there.
Those who dwell in Suburban Villas, have (or ought to have) engraved on the back of their Cards,a Map of the Road from the Stones’ end to their House. This would save their Visitors a vast deal of trouble, and they would not have their Dinner spoiled quite so often, by their Guests not arriving in time, from not knowing the way.
Persons dwelling four or five Miles from Town, and those who invite Friends from the Country to dine with them, should Dine, and have all such Parties at least an Hour or two earlier than the fashionable town time, so that their Guests may get home at their usual hour of retiring to Rest.
For people who live half a Dozen Miles from the Standard in Cornhill, to invite you, or you to invite them, to aDinner Partylater than Four o’clock, or anEvening Partylater than Seven, is one of the most ridiculous affectations imaginable! Courteous Reader, summon resolution enough toset a GoodExample:—surely thiscannot require more Courage than it does tofollow a BadExample.
“And leave the folly of Night DinnersTo Fools, and Dandies, and old Sinners.”
“And leave the folly of Night DinnersTo Fools, and Dandies, and old Sinners.”
“And leave the folly of Night DinnersTo Fools, and Dandies, and old Sinners.”
“And leave the folly of Night Dinners
To Fools, and Dandies, and old Sinners.”
Desire your Coachman to give you notice a day or two before the Horses will want
SHOEING,
that you may appoint a convenient time for that purpose. SeeObs. on Shoeing, in the Chapter on Horses.
If you think that you may want your Carriage earlier than your usual time of going out in the Morning, give your Coachman notice over Night; or when you send in the Morning, expect (and don’t be uselessly angry if you get) for an answer, “John is gone to the Blacksmith’s,” or “to the Coachmaker’s,” or “to the Hay Market,” or to any other Market that the person who serves Fudge for him, happens to think of first. If any such Answer be given, desire that as soon as he returns, he will come for Orders; you will then know how long he has been absent.