AnEXTRACTofLETTERS.ByMrs.L****.To theREADER.THE person who published these letters about twelve years ago, observes, the writer of them, “never supposed they would be made public, but put down the sentiments of her heart, in the confidence of friendship. This may excuse the inaccuracies some may find: besides they are not recommended as patterns of polite, epistolary correspondence. Their merit is of another kind. It consists neither in the fineness of the language, nor in the elegance of the manner.”—I really think it does, as well as “in the goodness of the sentiment.” I am not ashamed to recommend them, as “patterns of truly polite, epistolary correspondence:” expressing the noblestsentiments in the most elegant manner, in the purest, yea, and finest language. Yet undoubtedly even the beauty of the language is nothing compared to the spirit which breathes throughout. Happy they who bothtasteher spirit and are partakers of it: whowalk in the light as he is the light, and know thatthe blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth from all sin.J. W.LETTERSToMrs.****.YOUR letter, my ever dear friend, has been a great blessing to me; that you should write in the style you now do, filled me with such a sense of mine own unworthiness, and of the goodness of God to me, that it melted my stony heart, and drew tears from mine eyes. Oh would the God I adore enable me to be of any help to you, how would my soul dilate in thankfulness? Blessed Redeemer, draw us both, and so will we run after thee. Oh Spirit of truth, descend on thine unworthy servants, and make usfullysensible of the seal of our redemption! Convince us still more deeply of our sins, and make us still more fully to know, that they are washed away by the blood of Jesus. Thouknowest the burdens we labour under, the dissipations of our thoughts, our wandrings in prayer, our spiritual sloth, and all the hardness of our hearts. Stir us up earnestly to seek after the things of God, and fix our inconstant minds. Thou knowest that we desire (for this desire comes from thee) that the love of the Father may abide in our hearts. We beg thine assistance that we may eagerly seek after this love. Oh teach us the prayer of faith, and enable us constantly and undauntedly to press forward toward the mark of the prize of our high calling! Be thou our guide, be thou our comforter for ever and for ever.Amen, Amen.*What a task have you laid upon me? I watch over you! I your guide! This quite overcomes me. I cannot bear it. Oh, my love, there is no one so much wants a guide and a director as I do. Sure this letter of your’s was particularly designed by providence to humble me; but unworthy as I am, I will by the grace of God strive to do every thing you desire of me: but then you must return the same to me, and take me into the number of those you watch over. Let us go hand in hand in these paths which lead to everlasting life. What shall I say to quicken your steps? It was said to me since I saw you, byMr.**** “I hope still to have a great deal more pleasure from you, by seeing youpress forward.” Think these words were addressed to you by the same person. Oh what a blessing of God accompanies the wordsof one who is uniformly a Christian, of one who spends and is spent for the service of his master, of one who has no view but the glory of God and the salvation of souls! Who would not strive earnestly to follow so bright an example? The very sight of such a person animates the soul in its warfare. O what soul, which is the least alive to God, would not evenagonizeto be perfectly renewed after the image of Christ? Is your heart, is my heart so dead, that this will not affect it?—Alas, I grieve for mine own—may God give me to rejoice for your’s.I have time for no more. May the blessing and influence of the ever-adorable Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, be continually with your soul.I am your ever-affectionate,&c.My dear Friend,ITHINK you are now through divine grace, strong enough to bear what I am going to say to you, that I have long seen a mixture of pride and vanity even in the best of your performances. But I could hardly allow myself to believe it. What! have I often said, shall I judge so of her, whom every body admires for her surprising modesty and humility? Is it not because she is moreexcellent than myself, and therefore I am seeking to find some fault in her? Then I have often prayed to God, not to suffer my soul to be deceived by any sinister views, and to perfect in you what was wanting. And this I trust he will do for us both, if we keep the longing eye of our souls steadily fixed upon him. Oh for holiness of heart! Let us labour, my dear companion, for holiness, as a dying sinner labours for life.I had yesterday a most delightful letter fromMr.****. It sent me to my knees so convinced of my black ingratitude to my heavenly Father, that I could neither find words nor thoughts sufficient to express my unworthiness; yet at the same time my heart was full of thanksgiving, under a sense of his unbounded mercies. O help me, my dear friend, to be more and more thankful! Such advantages—dearest Jesus, how justly great must be my condemnation, if I do not make suitable improvements. Take the latter part ofMr.****’s letter, apply it to yourself constantly, every minute if possible. “You have need therefore to watch and pray always, and then especially when you might seem to have least need. You have reason to fear always: for your enemies are always watching. But you have reason likewise to rejoice always, because he that keepeth you never sleeps.”My dear Friend,IHAVE read your letter with tears, and earnest prayers to God for you, and for myself. We are both unworthy creatures; indeed, my love, we aremoreunworthy than we can either express or conceive. O let us fly to the blood of sprinkling. There and there alone can we find help.Thanks be to God, that you have a clear view of your own heart. This is a most profitable prospect, though a most dreadful one. Think me not cruel, when I wish that the holy Spirit maydeeplywound your soul with a sense of its corruptions. The deeper the conviction, the firmer the peace that follows.*I hardly know how to believe you, when you tell me you are hurried away by desires after worldly happiness. Is it possible? Alas, my friend, pardon the harshness of the expression, if the love of the world is in your heart, you are only apainted sepulchre, beautiful indeed outwardly, but within——. My dear creature, I cannot bear to think this—a Christian to be hurried away with desires and endeavours after worldly happiness! IfSt.Paul’s character of a Christian is right, how far are you from beinga Christian? “Ye are dead,” says he, “and your life is hid with Christ in God.”May not these violent ragings of pride, vanity,&c.you speak of, be some of the last struggles of a dying enemy? When the strong man armed keepeth his house, his goods are in peace. But when there is a stronger comes upon him to overcome him, and to take from him that armour in which he trusted, no wonder the house is in a tumult. And this I hope is your present case. But beware, my dear soul, of thinking, that you never should be otherwise. Limit not the grace of God. He has only to say,Peace, be still, and immediately the winds and seas obey him. “But how to obtain this peace?” Oh my dear friend, will you follow the advice of the meanest and most unworthy of the servants of Christ? Look upon yourself as being onlynowfully convinced of your guilt and dreadful condition. Look upon yourself as apoor, lost, helpless, miserable creature. Set before your eyes your sins, with all their aggravations; and when your soul is weighed down to the dust under a sense of your own vileness, then throw yourself at the foot of the cross: there lie as a loathsome leper before the almighty healer: there let your parched soulgasp(with the utmost stretch of all your faculties) after those life-giving streams which flowed from Christ’s hands, his feet, his pierced side; and there keep the eye of your mind fixed, until the still small voice be heard in yoursoul—“Be of good cheer, thy sins are forgiven thee.”IWAS in hopes, my dear, that I had cause to think you had gained ground; but if I was mistaken, am very sorry. God forbid however that you should have gone back: I must not for my own ease believe that. *The reason for your not finding so much comfort as usual flowing from the cross, is because you lay yourself too much out uponoutwardthings. I doubt not but your own will is indeed very powerful, and it will ever be so, while you indulge yourself in castle-building. Let your schemes be ever so good, they are (unless God had given you the means and power to perform them) merely the creatures of your own will; and I don’t know any thing that self-will more delights in, than in these imaginary good projects. Believe me, my dear soul, I speak from experience. There is nothing more encourages self-will, pride, and every temper we ought to subdue, than these schemes. For God’s sake strive to get the better of this folly. I know your temper is naturally inclined to it, and therefore you ought to be more particularly watchful. Cannot you, my love, keep your thoughts fixed on the present moment, in a constant dependance on the leadings of theSpirit of God, and only wishing that every succeeding moment may bring a new accession of grace to your soul, without fixing on the particular means, by which you would have it come? When the will is in this total resignation to God, it brings a peace to the soul, which cannot be described.I don’t like your going toVauxhall, I think you ought to try every possible means, to get off. Suppose you were to be sincere, and own it was against your conscience. Pray God direct you what to do. If you are reallyforcedto go, God will preserve your heart from the pollutions of the place. If this is the case, I think you will be in less danger of being hurt there, than in your visit toMrs.****: for in this visit you will lie exposed to the worst enemy you have, that is,yourself. With those good people, whom you love and admire, and who love and admire you, you will without the most constant watchfulness, be continually falling into self-seeking and self-applause.I fear, my love, you will soon think me too plain in my speaking; but I cannot answer it to my conscience, since what has past between us, not to warn you of every thing which seems to me to prevent your progress in grace. Don’t imagine though, that I wish you would not make this visit toMrs.****; quite the contrary; but I wish you to keep the most constant guard uponyour own heart, that what should be for your health, be not unto you an occasion of falling.I am your ever sincere and affectionate,&c.*ITHANK God, that you now see the danger of wandring imaginations in a clearer light; but I cannot guess what schemes a heart like yours (which I should hope was desirous of nothing but what immediately tended to increase in it the love♦of God) can pursue, which are not for what we call doing good. Depend upon it, my dear, if you can by an act of your will waste a thought on any future view of happiness, that regards only your situation in this world, you are yet far from the kingdom of God. To a soul, that has but thelowestsense of the pardoning love of God, every thing that does not lead to a greater sense of this love is insipid. Outward things, according to the present circumstances we are in, ought to be attended to with prudence, though not with anxiousness; but that soul which runs out after them infuture, ought totremble. My dear creature, are we not every moment on the brink of eternity, and may plunge in the next, for ought we know? What then have we to do, but every moment to grasp after new degrees of grace, new power over sin, a still higher sense of the love of God shed abroad in our hearts? “Without holiness noman shall see the Lord”—Alas! what is a life of sixty or seventy years (supposing we could be certain of so many) to attain universal holiness? And shall we lose a moment? Outwardly we must a great many: but still our hearts may be gaining ground in the steady pursuit of that end, for which we were created, and to which we have such glorious encouragements. What! shall Christ cry out to us in vain, “Give me thy heart?” Or shall we dare to divide that heart, which cost him so dear? O my friend, be jealous for your redeeming God. Suffer not that soul, for which he shed his precious blood, to stray one moment from him.♦missing word “of” insertedI am sorry you found pleasure atVauxhall. I could not have believed it, had you not told me so yourself. I see, my love, I have thought far too highly of you. What a frightful distance is there still between you, and a Christian! Could any one who had the mind which was in Christ have felt pleasure, where they saw God dishonoured, and their fellow-creatures running headlong to destruction? You had reason indeed to be ashamed, and thank God that you was so. The curiosity in regard to the astronomical instruments might distract your mind for a longer time, but your taking delight in these did not shew such an excessive depravity of heart, as the other: for astronomy is onlyaccidentallymade ameans of dishonouring God, and hurting the souls of men; butVauxhallisnecessarilyso.I am your ever affectionate,&c.*IWRITE, my love, to you to thank you for the pleasure you gave me last Thursday, and still to urge you more and more continually to press forwards. Young as you are, you may perhaps be very near the end of your course, and the time given you to work inmay, for ought you know, be very nearly elapsed. That form of yours, which now delights the eyes of your friend, and seems to promise a long continuance of health and vigour, may soon perhaps become defaced and loathsome meat for crawlings worms, and that soul, that precious and immortal soul of yours, which is now far from loving its Creator as it ought to do, may soon stand naked in the sight of that God, to whom it has been ungrateful—its day of probation past—and its lot cast for a whole eternity. Oh my friend, my dearest companion in my pilgrimage, I conjure you by all your heart holds dear, that you lose not a moment! Oh may that God, who is love itself, so inflame your soul with a sense of his love, as may consume all its dross, and make it through Christ an acceptable sacrifice to himself! I think the last time I saw you I had the satisfaction of observing less ofself-seekingin you, than I everdid before. Sure God will give me greatly to rejoice in you. Farewel. Whenever, my love, I think too well of you, fail not to tell me, and take shame to yourself for deceiving me.I am your’s,&c.My dear Friend,ITHANK you for your letters, and rejoice at a great part of the account you give me. You have been very happy indeed; and it seems to me that God gave you this happiness as preparatory to the trials, which were to ensue. And if you should after this goodness of God towards you, grieve his holy Spirit, by suffering your heart to indulge any temper, which you know to be contrary to his will, what words would be strong enough to paint your black ingratitude? I will deal plainly with you. I think you are now in a most dangerous situation. Every thing around you will conspire to tempt you to the sin which most easily besets you, and therefore you must not beone momentoff your guard. You must pray without ceasing, even in the fullest sense of the words and constantly strive to have strongly painted in your imaginationJesus Christ, and himcrucified. There is nothing I think more tends to humble us, than the consideration of the sufferings of Christ. When you find yourself going to say ordo any thing with a view to praise, think, this temper, this vanity of mine added to the weight of my Saviour’s sufferings, and made morebitterhis cup ofbitterness. Oh, if you had a soul capable of feeling, if you have one spark of gratitude, can you think this, and sin? Was you now standing onMount Calvarynear the cross of the blessed Jesus (suppose the dreadful deed was but now performing) and you saw the Redeemer of the world just nailed to his cross, say, would you help to drive the nails still deeper? Would you press the thorns closer to his sacred temples? Would you help to increase that load, which made him cry out, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” Does not your soul shudder at the thought? O my friend would you not rather die, gladly die, for this your suffering Lord? Would you not gladly be cut in ten thousand pieces to save him one pang? I know you would. And will you not strive against that sin, which increased his sufferings? Will you not strive, my love?—Yes, sure you will. Is not every thing we can give up by far too small a return for what the Redeemer has done for us? And shall we not give this little? Above all shall we not give up what most of all separates us from him, ourself-love, andself-seeking? Think my friend when any one is hinting to you, how extraordinary you are—“this person is ignorantly driving me from my Saviour.” And if you should, which God forbid,find yourself tempted to indulge a vain complacency in their applause, think immediately how their praise would be turned into contempt, did they know your heart as it really is, and blush for thus deceiving them. Recollect some of the mean motives which perhaps have been the springs of some of your most admired words and actions, and let your soul within you be humbled to the dust. And my dear, I beg you will be careful how you draw praise upon yourself by praising others. This is what I am very apt to fall into; and therefore I am the more sensible of its hurtfulness. And beware how you suffer yourself to attempt explaining nice points of doctrine, unless it is evident there will be good done by it, and then you may hope God will preserve you from the pride, which generally accompanies this display of the capacity. May you constantly walk in the light of God’s countenance, and go on conquering, and to conquer!IAM glad, my dear friend, that your visit to **** has been of such benefit to you; and I pray God to continue it to your soul, and not to suffer these impressions to wear off. Temptations doubtless will attend every situation we are in; but the soul that rests secure in the love of God will easily conquer them. I wish you may find more and more benefit from the church prayers:they are for human compositions very excellent, and I belief the best form of prayers that ever was put together. I cannot reproach you for that which God has pardoned, but you certainly ought now to be more watchful, that you fall not again; for then great indeed would be your condemnation. The danger which may accrue to you by going to Miss **** will I find be known to you by experience only. She is certainly a good creature herself, and I love her, but there is a spirit♦haunts her absolutely contrary to the spirit I am seeking after. She is not capable, my dear, of watching your words with any ill design. Her only view is to find out your errors. And if possible cure you of them. I doubt not but if you could converse with her alone, and keep clear of disputes, she might be of great use to you, and I hope God will bless this and every other means to the good of your soul. The most excellent people in the world will be of little avail, unless his Spirit assists, and with this there is nothing so weak or mean, but what may tend to increase his love in our hearts. *For my own part, silence and solitude seem at present best for me, and I am more hurt by some religious people, whom I converse with, than by the people of the world. Indeed there is scarce any, who does not in some measure hurt me, exceptMr.****. Numberless are the snares that lie in our way to the heavenly kingdom. ’Tis truly a warfare, and a very difficult one, but the crown that awaits us at theend, is well worth the striving for, even unto blood. Besides the encouragements and comforts we find in the way are glorious: sure I am thatAlexandernever found such joy in all his conquests, as the soul that presses after the footsteps of Christ does in one conquest over self-will. There is more delight in suffering for God, than in reigning with the world. To clasp the cross of Christ close to the heart is more happiness than angels can give; and what inexpressible satisfaction is it to a soul, whose every faculty loves its Redeemer, to cry out,Give me to feel thine agonies,One drop of thy sad cup afford;I fain with thee would sympathize,And share the sufferings of my Lord.♦“haunts” replaced with “haunts her” per Errata*Oh God of unspeakable mercy, unbounded love, how little is all we can do or suffer for thee! Oh that we might not have a thought, nor even a pulse beat, but for our God! What is all that earth or heaven itself can give in comparison of thee? Oh uncreated beauty, how does every other excellence fade away at thy presence! How does a taste of thy love make every other love insipid! And a ray of thy light darken the brightest of created Beings! Oh when, when shall our souls be wholly swallowed up in thee! When shall we know thee even also as we are known! Thou knowest the desire of our hearts.Thou seest how our souls stretch, and pant after thee, even to fainting! Oh give us to drink of the waters of life, even in this our pilgrimage, until we come to drink freely of them from that river, which proceedeth out of the throne of God, and of the Lamb for ever and ever.Amen, Lord Jesus.My beloved friend,IHAVE been admiring the goodness of God to you, in ordering your being atL****at a time, when it must, instead of being hurtful, be profitable to your soul. The attending the sick bed of a dear relation in danger of death, is a most glorious time for exercising a number of Christian graces. Such a scene as this keeps the mind in a most proper temper, humble, recollected, serious; and in your particular circumstances, this illness of **** has freed you from most of the snares you apprehended. How does every thing work together for good to those who love God! And how ungrateful is that heart, which does not strive more and more to love him in deed and in truth! What, my love, are the inward temptations you complain of, and what are those unaccountable scruples? The best thing you can do is not to argue about them in your own mind, but immediately fly to prayer; and if you cannotpray, only wish earnestly to pray. *’Tis right, that you should think yourself the vilest creature breathing, and I am every day more and more convinced, that every soul which really loves God must necessarily in its own particular think the same: and in whatever proportion the love of God increases in the soul, in the same proportion will the sense of its own vileness and helplessness increase, till at last it is in a manner annihilated before God. This is a point which the wisdom of the world cannot understand, and which no scheme of doctrine can teach the heart; but when we truly know Jesus Christ crucified, then we can truly cry out, What!to mesuch love? to the vilest and most ungrateful of all creatures? O whence such love to me?I grieve for the sin you fell into. Had the temper of your mind been really charitable, you certainly could not lightly have spoken evil of any one. Nothing is more contrary to the true spirit of the gospel, than this want of universal love. And yet there is nothing so common even among those who in most other respects are unblameable. How ought we every moment to watch! Oh when shall we indeed be renewed after the image of Christ!Adieu.WHAT, my dear companion, can I write so animating as your present circumstances?God seems, I think, in a most peculiar manner to watch over your soul for good. What interesting, what heart-affecting scenes have you gone through? The account I had of your **** death, has made me see the goodness of God to you in the strongest light, and I am ready to shudder, when I think that it is possible, even after all this, that you should again be ungrateful. Oh watch every moment! Think what horrors and agonies you must feel, if you should now suffer your heart to turn aside from this tender and merciful God! The circumstances you are now in are like five talents given to your care. Remember♦you are to gain with them five talents more, or expect to hear these dreadful words—Thou slothful and wicked servant. Your heavenly Father seems to be making a plain way before your face. I see you in a light almostprophetical. I rejoice, and yet I tremble. You seem pointed out, I think, as an instrument in the hands of God for the conversion of Miss ****; but here you will be in danger from your old enemies, pride, and love of teaching, and above all that self-setting-up which you have found so difficult to overcome. O my dear love, fail not every hour of the day to pray particularly for humility. I trust you are not in danger from any increase of fortune. No surely. The heart of my beloved friend cannot be so mean and low, as to pride itself in dross and dirt. Perhaps you will find some difficulties in regard to the tempers of your****; how necessary will it be for you in this case to place constantly before your eyes the meekness and lowliness of the Lamb of God? And fear not, you will in all these things be more than conqueror through him, who has loved you.♦“your” replaced with “you”IPITY you, my dear friend; I saw yesterday that your head was full, and your heart not so warm towards God as it sometimes is. Oh when shall we be free from these distractions? Or rather when shall our love to our Redeemer be so intense, that our hearts may be constantly fixed on him, and we (as it were) walk through the fire without being burnt? *I remember having sometimes said to you the beginning of last summer, “There is more a vast deal in faith than we all imagine;” and though, thanks to the free grace of God, we both know more of faith now, than we did at that time, yet I may still repeat the saying, and may continue to repeat it, till our eyes are fully opened in eternity. “All things are possible to him that believeth,” said the God of truth; and why then do not you and I conquer all sin? Becausewe do not believe. The unbounded riches of the grace of God in Christ Jesus are hardly more astonishing, than the perverseness of that soul, which will not fully trust in them. Christ stands ever ready to save to the uttermost, if we will but believe, that hecan, and will do it; and we draw back and shrink from his redeeming hand. We suffer the dark clouds of our fallen nature to obscure the glorious light of the promises of God. And though our heads may be fully convinced of their truth, and we may have some desires of attaining them, yet there is in the centre of our souls an hidden root of unbelief, which just as we are going to lay hold on the prize, whispers—“How can these things be?” and then we sink. I have heard it observed of the eagle, that she holds her young ones full against the bright beams of the mid day sun: if they behold it stedfastly, she nourishes them, but if they turn away their heads or shut their eyes, she dashes them to the ground. There is something very striking in this. A nominal believer, who makes a profession of holiness, has all the outward marks of a true believer, as these dastard eagles have of the others; but he cannot look stedfastly at the glorious beams of the Sun of Righteousness: and how dreadful is the consequence? Oh my love, how ought we to watch and pray! How careful ought we to be not to lose sight for one moment of our immaterial sun, lest the eye of our minds should by that means contract a dimness and weakness, which might render us incapable of stedfastly beholding him, when he shall appear in all the fulness of his glory. May the God of mercy preserve you in all temptations, and be your portion in time and in eternity.My dear Friend,IPRAISE God with my whole heart for your happiness and strength, and I pray him to increase it every moment. O may that blessed peace never leave your soul: it is eternal life begun, and ten thousands laid in the balance with this peace would be all lighter than vanity. It is a glorious sign, that in outward troubles, or inward temptations, you can leave the means of your deliverance intirely to God, without suffering your imagination to run out after the manner in which you probably may be delivered. O that we could always venture ourselves upon the mercies of our God! Then would he indeed work wonders for us—wonders which we now can scarce believe, though the God of truth himself declares them unto us. And this God will surely keep you in the dangers to which you are going to be exposed, if you will be watchful to keep the eye of your mind constantly turned towards him, and wait and hang upon him, as a little child on its fond parent, drawing all your help, all your comfort from him, and him alone. If you have but little outward retirement, shut more closely the door of your heart, and there in its inmost recesses commune with your God, and Redeemer, there be continually crying unto him—Lordthou knowest all things, thou knowest that I love thee; thou knowest, O life and joy of my soul, that I desire nothing but to do thy perfect will, and to be conformed to the likeness of thy sufferings, as well as to the likeness of thy resurrection. Oh crucify in me the whole body of sin! Give me an humble, a mortified, and child-like spirit, and in thine own good time perfect the work thou hast begun in my soul.As to examples which are not good, I hope I may say, that all the effect they can have upon my beloved friend (in her present happy state of mind) will be to drive her nearer to her God, and in that nearness what comfort does the believing soul find?What tho’ earth and hell engageTo shake that soul with fear;Calmly it defies the rageOf persecution near.Suffering faith shall brighter grow,As gold when in the furnace tried:Only Jesus will we know,And Jesus crucified.Yes, my love, let those who stile themselves our best friends join with the world in calling usmopesandenthusiasts. Still stedfastly fixed on the rock which cannot be moved, we will endure, nay joyfully take up the reproach for his sake,who hid not his blessed face from shame and spitting for our sakes, to make us (accursed and lost creatures) heirs of eternal glory. Oh that his strength may but accompany us, and the light of his countenance continually abide with us; and then we shall not fail to go on conquering and to conquer.Amen.For God’s sake avoid disputes of all kinds. I was delighted the last time you was with me, to observe that you was greatly altered for the better in this respect. Think not that I will omit to pray for you, and fail not to pray for me. Oh my friend, soon will time be swallowed up in eternity.IREADILY believe you, my dear friend, that you have not brought back the same heart you carried with you: for I thought I discovered the two last times I saw you, a falling off from the grace you had, and the happy state of mind you had been in; but for God’s sake strive to recover yourself before you are sunk lower. Think how dreadful your case will be, if you should so grieve the Spirit of God, as to cause him to depart from you. I know your heart to be ungrateful and deceitful, and you yourself know full well how much it is so; but fear not to search into its most hidden corruptions. Was it ten times more vile and polluted than it is, the blood ofJesus is all-sufficient to cleanse it. And my dear soul, let me intreat of you earnestly to seek after a clear and constant sense of the pardoning love of God. This only can enable you to trample all temptations under your feet: believe me, unless you really walk in the light of his countenance, you never can conquer all the powers and works of darkness. Oh seek the peace which passes all understanding. You have need enough of it, I am sure, considering the many snares you walk in. I really fear you do not diligently seek after God: ’tis very certain they that seek shall find; and therefore that the Redeemer is not fully manifested in your soul is entirely owing to your sloth and negligence. How is it possible for you to keep your ground against temptations which are continually striking upon your senses, unless you haveinyou the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen? When our understandings are clear in gospel doctrines, we are too apt to imagine our hearts are so. My dear friend, for God’s sake deceive not yourself. Oh suffer not your soul to rest, till you can say with full assurance of faith, “My sins are forgiven.” Depend upon it this is the first step in true Christianity. Oh cry to God every moment from the bottom of your heart, and he will do more for you, than you can either ask or think. I am a witness of his free and boundless mercy. For some days past I have been in the wilderness, my soul weary, faint,and desolate; no rejoicing in God; not one ray from the Sun of Righteousness: but this morning, this blessed morning, my Beloved returned to my soul, and I rejoiced with joy unspeakable, and could say with the fullest assurance, “My sins are done away—Christ is mine—God the Father is my reconciled Father—God the Holy Ghost is my comforter and guide.” *Oh my friend, my heart is now so overwhelmed I can scarce write. I could repeat a thousand and a thousand times over—Christ is mine. My soul is ready to spring out of its prison, and I could at this moment face death in all its horrible prospects to go to my Redeemer. Oh death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? My dear love, you know not what you lose by your negligence. O seek, strive, agonize; could you suffer the utmost tortures in body or mind, they would be all as nothing to gain one moment of this sweetness: and Oh pray for me, that I may not by sinning grieve the blessed Comforter, and lose my present peace. God be with you my dear friend. God bless you both now and for ever.My dear friend,IMOURN for you, and may you mourn too from your very inmost soul, till God himself gives you the true comfort. Oh thou dear backslider,what shall I say? How shall I find words strong enough to make a lasting impression on a heart so inconstant, so slothful, and careless? Oh that the Spirit of God would assist my weak endeavours, and point my otherwise unavailing words! You own you do not strive earnestly: alas I too plainly see you do not. But the blessed Comforter strives with you, and still you resist and grieve him. How irksome is it to me always to write the same thing? My dear soul, for God’s sake be more in earnest. How can you talk of sloth and carelessness, when you are standing on the brink of a precipice? Can you promise yourself another day? And are you fit to die in the state you are now in? Nay, are you not afraid to die? Oh if the Lord should say of you, as of the barren fig-tree, “Cut it down, why cumbereth it the ground,” how would you be overwhelmed with dread and confusion? For you who know so well what are the glorious promises of the gospel, to suffer your thoughts to run upon worldly things is inexcusable. It seems strange, that you should think you love Christ more than you did, when you was in a better state; however above all things hold fast, and strive to increase this love, but then at the same time take care that you hate sin in the same proportion, and that you strive against it with the utmost earnestness: for to talk of loving Christ, and at the same time to give way to sloth, carelessness, and worldly-mindedness, is an abominablemockery. If you are encompassed with ten thousand temptations never fear, so your own heart consent not to them. Your blessed Master will surely help you, if you can but trust him: and never give way, to thatseemingimpossibility of praying. Though perhaps you cannot pray with comfort, or with any kind of connection, yet if you be ever so distracted you may surely cry, Lord, have mercy upon me—Jesus, pity me. Or even supposing you could not do this from your heart, ask yourself whether you do not desire to pray; and if you do, thank God for that desire, and the next thought will be prayer. Could you not make the increase of your family profitable, by joining at stated times of the day in some act of devotion? If it were but for one quarter of an hour at a time, there would doubtless be a blessing attending it. Suppose you were to sing an hymn together, or by turns pray, either from some form of prayer, or what would be better, extempore. You ought rather to be silent, and be thought a mope, than to join in trifling discourse. Consider, my love, you are to set an example to your young friends; and fear not but God will deliver you from this bondage into the glorious liberty of his children. The feeble trust you now have is the work of his blessed Spirit, and he will increase it into an holy confidence. Let not therefore your comfort sicken, but trust in that Jesus, who died thatyou might live; to whose all-merciful bosom I commit you,And am your affectionate Friend,&c.My dear Friend,IHOPE your present circumstances do not prevent your constant watching over your own heart, and pressing forward in the way of holiness. In the midst of all these prospects death may come! And are you fit to die? We cannot too often ask ourselves this question. We cannot be too serious. There is only a moment between us and eternity. May the Lord Jesus so prepare us, that at whatever hour he calls we may be ready, our lamps trimmed, and we ourselves as those who wait for the bridegroom. Adieu, my dear. May the Almighty preserve you from all evil.OF what service, my dear love, can any thing I say be of to you? I have tried all means in my power to keep your mind more steady but in vain. If God has at any time so blessed my letters, that they have made any impression on you it has gone off in two or three days: andwhen you have had those great benefits indeed of conversing with living Christians, though for a time you have been raised and lively, yet you have soon sunk into your former sloth and carelessness. There must certainly be some hidden corruption in your heart, which causes this inconstancy. I often study you as I would a book, but you are in truth one of the most puzzling books I ever met with. I often rejoice to see in you (as I think) an increase of grace, and a decrease of that pride and selfishness, which under an appearance of humility you once had to a great degree. The last time you was with me, I thought you greatly advanced; and now you are fallen again into pride and selfishness. The Lord Jesus raise you up. Indeed, my dear soul, you grieve and wound me. You bring sorrow in my heart, and tears in my eyes: nay and sometimes your letters tempt me to impatience; but then I immediately recollect my own continual backslidings, and the long-suffering of God towards me, and can I be impatient with my friend? If your want of retirement is not owing to yourself, never lay your coldness upon that: for was your heart sincere, God would strengthen you at all times to look up to him. But if as you say, you trifled away your time, and indulged an unwillingness to prayer, no wonder God with-held that portion of his grace he would otherwise have given you. Depend upon it, whenever you find an unwillingness to pray, thatof all times is the most proper for you to pray in; therefore never say on such an occasion, “I will go read some good book, or do some good work, which may perhaps bring my mind into a better frame for prayer.” No, do not so foolishly; but go, and prostrate yourself before God with all your unwillingness; and he will soon give you both the will and the power to praise him.Amen.My dear Friend,IT is impossible for me to judge rightly, till I know more of your affair, and then I doubt not, but God, if we ask in sincerity, will direct us both to agree in our sentiments, as to what will be most conducive to your eternal welfare. However thus much I can say, be not unequally yoked with an unbeliever. To marry a man in hopes of making him a Christian, will be leading yourself into temptation. The advantages you speak of may doubtless be great blessings to you, if you are very certain you can enjoy them. You ought to be very explicit with the person, whoever he is, both with regard to your sentiments and his own heart. You cannot imagine the continual snares you will walk in, if you are joined to one, who is not joined to Christ; especially if you have any fondness for him. As ina married state there are more allurements to draw the mind from God than in a single one, so (if the companion be a Christian) there are also advantages in it, which perhaps may almost make the balance even. But how dreadful will it be, if he who should be your help, prove to you an occasion of falling? Above all things, my dear, try the sincerity of your own heart. Examine well whether you can accept this offer with a single eye to the glory of God, and the good of your own soul; and fear not, if you ask counsel of God in faith nothing wavering, that he will give you freedom of mind, either to accept or refuse as will be most profitable for you.I do not wonder that your soul is at present distracted with worldly thoughts. An affair of this kind always occasions a thousand distractions, especially where it is in suspense. I fear your increase of company does not at all add to your spiritual happiness. The Lord Jesus bless you: I pity you. What need have we of continual assistance from above? How do we walk as on burning coals? O let us strive for that state of mind, in which we can say, nothing gives me pain but what is contrary to the will of God, and tends to draw my soul from him; and nothing gives me pleasure, but as it is agreeable to his will, and tends to draw my soul nearer to him.Amen.My dear Soul,IAM glad to write to you once more under the name of ****, and I hope God will give me strength to say all I wish at this important juncture. Important it is indeed to you; and the nearer the time approaches, the more I feel for you. Alas, you are now plunging into difficulties, which you can have no notion of until you experience them. You will have need of more than double watchfulness. Oh cry earnestly to God for grace and strength to keep your soul from sinking under the delusive arguments, which your three grand enemies, the world, the flesh, and the devil will be continually attacking you with in your new state of life. You know, my love, in all our intercourse, I have not failed to set before you the disadvantages and distractions you must necessarily meet with in a married life. This I thought it my duty to do, though your intentions in regard to marriage were always founded upon Christian motives. Had I found you inclined to dedicate yourself more particularly to God in a single state, I should doubtless have encouraged that inclination; but as this was not the case, and I did not dare absolutely to dissuade any one from marrying, I have therefore only strove to guard you against the evils attending that condition, and pray Godgrant you may find them overbalanced by the good. The first evil, which people are apt to fall into when they marry, is an extreme selfishness: this I have seen most flagrant instances of, but then the people were not Christians. Oh my friend, remember you have taken upon you the sacred name of Christian. The next thing which our sex in particular is very subject to, is a pretty indolence of soul, and a kind of hugging themselves as though they were become people of vast consequence; and then all they say or do, and every thing which belongs to them, is of importance. You will think perhaps there is no danger of your falling into any thing so low and silly as this; but do not think so, for without extreme watchfulness it will steal imperceptibly upon you, and if you once grow important, the flood-gates of worldly-mindedness will be set open, and your faith, your love, and peace, will be borne away by the impetuous torrent. The Lord Jesus bless you and keep you, and grant that in all the changes of this mortal life, your heart may there be fixed where true joys are to be found.Your ever-affectionate****My dear Friend,IKNOW not how to assume to myself the character you mention, and yet I dare not neglect to do any thing, which you tell me may be of benefit to your soul. I know God can convey blessings by the meanest instrument, and relying wholly on his power and goodness, I enter again into this correspondence. You complain that I have not lately been so watchful over you as usual: In writing I certainly have not, and you know the reason; but as to speaking, if I have there failed, it is entirely owing to my being so apt to think highly of you. I fear in this I may have dealt with you as with my own heart—judged too favourably of both. May God give me a clearer insight both into you and into myself.*I doubt not but your present condition contributes greatly to your being more in earnest, and you have need to lay up all the strength you can against what may be a time of trial indeed. I am glad you found such a blessing on Sunday. I doubt not but the greater degree of light and joy you have, the more you will be assaulted by temptations, and these perhaps not only of a strange, but also of an impertinent and ridiculous kind. The devil will sometimes play the buffoon: but I have found the best way of dealing with thesetemptations was not to combat them, but to let them pass through the mind, as you would let a troublesome croud of people pass by your door without regarding them.*The speaking evil of your neighbour before you are aware, though it has not all the blackness of premeditated evil speaking, yet it is a sure sign, that you have not that spirit of love, without which the highest attainments are but as sounding brass, and as a tinkling cymbal. I often am sorry to see how much this divine temper is wanting amongst religious people. For my own part, I stand self-condemned in this, though it is a sin, which I have even a natural aversion to; and I fear there are but few hearts in which this root of bitterness does not grow almost imperceptibly. However, the Captain of our salvation can give us to tread even this enemy under our feet. Let us therefore go on, nothing discouraged, trusting in his help, and following his steps, until we apprehend, that for which we are apprehended of this divine leader.Your ever affectionate and faithful,&c.My dear Friend,*MR.V.has desired me to meetDr.**** at his house; but though I honour the character of that worthy man, yet I ratherfear,thandesireto do this. I really now dread the being set up as something to be thought well of. I see such a depth of pride and self-love in my own heart, that I dread any thing, which can give the least food to these hellish tempers. I am well satisfied, that there can be no perfect peace, no perfect love, till these be done away. Was not the blessed Jesusmeekandlowlyof heart? Was not he despised and rejected? And we? Oh, my dear love, tremble for yourself and for me. We are esteemed, admired, and sought after. Do we not, think you, tread upon burning coals? How dangerous, how difficult to act for the glory of God, without sacrificing something to self? And this self is all that separates from God—this self is all that keeps the blessings both of time and eternity from our souls. Oh let us learn, and know and feel, that we are nothing, and that God is all in all. Certain it is that unless we die with Christ, we cannot rise to his life. Unless we are crucified with him here, we cannot reign with him hereafter. Let us then nail our corrupt nature to his cross, and continually mortify every temper that is contrary to his perfect will. Suffer we must; but the love of God will make all sufferings sweet, and his grace will enable us to conquer all difficulties. I rejoice at the victory, which you tell me has been given you over (I suppose) some reigning sin. Is not this encouragement to press forward? If you would preserve constant peace and recollection,look more into your own heart, and lay not out yourself too much upon others. I have seen so much of the ill effects of this, that I dread it both for you and myself. Watch continually.Your ever affectionate,&c.****YOUR letter, my dear life, has given me great pleasure. This is indeed, as it ought to be. And Oh by no means suffer this anxious desire after God, this thirst after holiness to abate; only let it be mixed with that kind of resignation, which implies a willingness to suffer, so you may be kept from sin. The pain you speak of I rejoice in. Oh my love, this is right; and may you more and more be conformed to Jesus Christ, and him crucified. A soul thus pained, thus longing, thus struggling for salvation, and at the same time lying low at the foot of the cross, and crying, “Lord thy will be done,” is an object in which the holy angels rejoice, nay on which God himself looks down well pleased. To such a soul every gospel blessing is near at hand. The Sun of Righteousness is on the point of rising in it with healing in his wings; the eternal Comforter is ready to witness with it, that it is born of God, and to fill it with that peace, which passeth all understanding. Theblessed and adorable Trinity is ready to raise it from its fallen state, and to perfect the new creation. What encouraging prospects! Only let not this happy pain be taken from you by any comfort the world can give, but hold it dear to your heart, as light to your eyes, till God himself change it to joy unspeakable.*I have long thought that to wish for any thing, but the salvation of our own souls and that of others is wrong: because in nothing else can we be sure that our wishes are agreeable to the will of God. I do not know how to believe, that you could wish for more riches; and if the being pleased with the thoughts of gain proceeded only from this motive, that you thought God was putting it more in your power to relieve the necessities of others, I would not dare to condemn you: but it is so difficult to take any satisfaction of this kind without some mixture of worldly-mindedness, that we cannot be too careful in this respect; nay we ought rather to fear lest we should not be found faithful stewards of the talents put into our hands, as knowing, that both in spiritual and temporal blessings, “To whom much is given, of them shall much be required.”My dear Friend,IF it should please God to make any thing I write of benefit to your soul, I should greatly rejoice, but without that my words will avail nothing. And really the account you give of yourself at present is so strange, that I know not how to speak to you, or whether harshness or love is most necessary. This I know, that my own soul is greatly pained for you, but I dare not flatter you, “If any man hath not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his;” and doubtless to take a pleasure in exposing the faults of others is a temper as distant from the Spirit of Christ, as hell is from heaven. *Believe me, my dear life, if the love of God reigned in your heart, you would rather cover than expose the faults even of the vilest of men. And when obliged for their own good, or the warning of others, to speak to the disadvantage of any one, you would do it withfearandcaution, at the same time looking up to God, lest any bitterness should mix, either with your thoughts or words.God is love, and infinite streams of love are perpetually flowing from him through all created nature. His acts of judgment as well as mercy are only acts of love, and designed either to remove or tolessen the evils occasioned by the fall of angels and of man; and the soul which is born of God will as necessarily partake of this divine principle of universal love, as the child you now carry within you partakes of your corrupt nature. You have great reason then to tremble, while this temper has any footing in your soul. Don’t sit down contented, because you have intervals of recollection, but wrestle mightily with God in fervent prayer, until he speak peace to your soul, and his love be shed abroad in your heart, before which this evil disposition will fly as a mist before the morning sun. You greatly affect me by what you say in regard to the expected hour of danger; but fear not. No creature on earth can be more unworthy than I am; and the God of mercy protected me, and gave me strength, and courage, and calmness; and I doubt not but he will shew the same mercy to you: nay I have a strong confidence he will in your hour of extremity give you a clearer sense of his pardoning love, than you have yet experienced. Fear not, only believe, “All things are possible to him that believeth.”It has pleased God within these few days to give me a severe trial, and eternal glory be to his name, I have stood it, crying only,Lord, thy will be done. My little boy was taken on Saturday evening with strong convulsions, and between that time and Sunday evening, had I believe, full forty fits. He is now much better.God is ever merciful: he brings to the borders of the grave, and raises up again. O how good it is to suffer? How glorious to have grace triumph over nature? How sweet to lay low at the foot of the cross, and bless God for every thing which more conforms us to the suffering Jesus? Be watchful, and earnest.Adieu.My dear Friend,*WHERE the consideration of the prophecies is a means of stirring any one up to greater diligence, or making them sit looser to the things of this world, and seek more earnestly after the things of God, they cannot consider them too attentively. Every soul should carefully observe that way, in which God particularly leads it, and punctually follow every means which it finds by experience brings it nearer to God. Some are awakened and brought low by meditating on the severe judgments of God; others are melted down by reflecting on his mercies. Some are employed usefully to themselves, and it may be to others, by accurately considering the several amazing dispensations of God in the whole scheme of our redemption. Others by a more simple and general view of God, as infinite wisdom and infinite love, rest calmly on his will, and though in a lower and less shiningway, pursue the same end,viz.salvation by the blood of the Lamb from the power as well as from the guilt of sin, and union with the pure fountain of all happiness. All these ways are good in themselves, and are made so to every soul, which inthemfollows the leadings of the Spirit of God. But I may make that, which is good in itself, evil to me, by using itonly becauseanother thinks it right, and not because I find it the means which most unites my soul to Christ; and therefore we ought never to blame any one for not being affected by that which affects us.’Tis very certain that the judgments of God are now abroad in the earth, and that some of the signs of the last times plainly appear; this (whether the calculation in the letter be right or wrong) is obvious to every one, and calls aloud for seriousness and watchfulness. Happy are those who shall stand unmoved in the time of temptation. Happy are those who when all nature is agonizing around them can fly to the only rock of refuge, and there find shelter from the storm, and shadow from the heat. But above all happy are those, who shall have the glory of suffering for their Redeemer, of sealing their testimony with their blood, or in the midst of the fire shouting for joy, and blessing God for a martyr’s crown. These, these are glorious prospects, and weak as we are, should God honour us with a trial like this, he would also give us strength to be more than conquerors. In the mean time letus not be weary or faint in our minds, but manfully fight till we obtain complete victory over our evil hearts; and then shall we stand with humble confidence even before our judge, and though all nature was dissolved, we should remain unshaken, and be wholly swallowed up in joy full of glory. Amen, Lord Jesus.My dear Friend,*ITHANK you for your last letter, and I bless God, that you was not offended at mine. This bearing of plain-dealing is a comfortable proof to me of your sincerity. If temptations increase, God will give a proportionable increase of strength. There wants nothing but faithfulness on your part to the grace already given. I know not the particulars of your sufferings, but I know it is good to suffer. It is a discipline all must go through, who make any tolerable advance in the school of Christ. I could wish you to seek more after religion, than comfort. Constant and heart-felt resignation is a bulwark against every trial, and a foundation for solid peace, and joy transcendently pure. The whole state of a soul made perfect in love stands in that one petition,Thy will be done: and if we could but preserve that temper which these words describe, I know not what could hurt us. Supposenow when I first wake in a morning I should lift up my heart, “Lord I bless thee for this new day which thou hast given me. In this day I shall have fresh manifestations of thy will concerning me, either in comforts or in sufferings. Lord, I am thy creature, deal with me as it shall please thee: only leave me not to myself, but let thy grace be sufficient for me, and thy strength be made perfect in my weakness.” When settled in this frame of mind, suppose my trials to begin. I am tempted by the perverseness and evil tempers of my own family to impatience, to anger; but I immediately recollect myself, “Lord it is thy will I should bear this; pardon their perverseness, and give me to be thankful for every opportunity of self-denial and forbearance.” Well! now another, and more difficult trial appears. I am to behave to people, whom I know to be my bitter enemies, whom I know to be continually seeking occasions of evil against me, as if they were my dear friends. Here every faculty of the soul is alarmed, and nature shrinks back affrighted. But what does grace say? “Lord I thank thee for this glorious trial! What a blessing is it I should be permitted to drink of the same cup my Saviour drank of! Oh bless these mine enemies; fill their hearts with thy love; let thy will be perfected both in them and me.” This temptation is conquered, but another and a more trying one immediately succeeds. I am treated unkindly bypeople I love, and who are really my friends. Here my heart is wounded, it sinks, it is ready to faint; but recovering itself it rests upon God, and says, “Lord, even in this, thy will be done, and let the sufferings of Christ be perfected in me, that I may be also a partaker of his glory.” In this manner one might instance in all kinds of affliction, and find comfort and strength in each.I know not how to think so meanly of you, as to imagine your heart in danger of being drawn away by the world. But I know I am always apt to set you in too high a light, and it may be so, in this case; this one thing however I am sure of, that we are fighting for eternity, and this against innumerable enemies, dangerous ones without, but far more dangerous ones within. If the Lord himself was not on our side, how could we maintain our ground one moment. To his almighty protection I commend you and yours, and amYour ever-affectionate,&c.To theRev.Mr.****.Dear Sir,IAM much obliged to you for your kind concern on my account. My illness I believe is rather troublesome than dangerous, a disorderin my stomach, which has been attended with a slight fever. I was ill, when you andMr.**** were to see me though I did not complain, and I looked upon it as a particular blessing: for had my spirits been in their full flow, an event so much wished, would have too much elated me: but my disorder served to keep the balance of my mind even. I see the goodness of God to me in every thing, and therefore sickness or health, life or death are equally welcome to me, as coming from the same gracious hand. Nature, its true, shrinks at suffering, but grace triumphs in resignation, and is thankful for the dispensation of the present moment, without wishing or willing in regard to the future. But I hope to learn some lessons of this kind from you next Sunday. Till then farewell, and may the fulness of every gospel blessing rest upon your soul.Your’s,&c.****Dear Sir,THE judgments of God uponLisbonare dreadful indeed. I know not what heart can be hard enough to hear of them without concern. What but the amazing mercy of a long-suffering God can preventLondonfrom feeling the same dreadful blow! And if God should arise to shaketerribly our land, what great reason will those persons have to be thankful, whom God has drawn from all worldly schemes of happiness, and fixed their hearts on a basis, which can never be shaken, though the earth be moved, and the mountains cast into the midst of the sea? I have been much comforted in respect of the miseries of others by this scripture—When the judgments of God are abroad in the earth, the inhabitants thereof will learn righteousness. If such a blessed end is produced by these severe acts of justice, have we not reason even in the midst of terror to admire and adore? The whole universe appears to me to be in the hand of God, as a grain of dust in the balance; and I, a creature more insignificant, more worthless, and sinful than can be conceived, am among the rest in this almighty hand, andall is safe. My heart is by nature painfully tender, and yet in the midst of feeling, either for myself or others, there is a secret satisfaction in my inmost soul, that God is glorified in every act of his providence, whether of judgment or mercy; and I hardly know how to form any other prayer thanThy will be done.I fear I shall not see you on Thursday;——but wherever you are, may the God of all consolation be your light and your shield, and bring you safe to that city, which has eternal foundations.I am your ever-obliged friend and servant,&c.*BY what you said toMr.**** when he had the pleasure of hearing you, I imagine you think my illness is owing to a cause of which I am by no means certain; however the bare probability of such a charge would not be without my immediately reflecting on the dangers and temptations that would attend it. A soul, that is really desirous of attaining thepurelove of God, is exceedingly jealous of any thing that has a possibility of drawing it from its centre of happiness, and looks upon any event which has this possible tendency (let the world term it blessing or misfortune) with a tender, anxious fear, which none can understand but those who have felt it. This was my case, and my imagination would sometimes paint a thousand instances whichmightdraw my soul down to earth. And this fear (though it never made me wish any thing but what was the will of God) would bring the tears to my eyes, and cause an uneasiness, which doubtless proceeded from want of faith. But that God whose mercies are renewed every morning, soon delivered me from those fears, and calm peace, perfect resignation and watchfulness succeeded. And for this fortnight past, though I have been in continual uncertainty, whether I should continue in the condition I am thought to be in or not, my mind by the all-sufficientgrace of God has been so equally kept, that I have not had the least wish or choice of my own, but have been equally pleased with whatever seemed to be the leadings of Providence concerning me. And you cannot think, what a work of annihilation this uncertainty has been the means of carrying on in my soul, which I see plainly in the nature of things could not so well have been effected by any other. I never can be enough thankful for the unspeakable mercies of God to so unworthy a creature. My will has been brought into deadness, which I, even afew monthsago, should have thought almost impossible; and I see, and have some foretastes of that state which is called the pure and disinterested love of God, in a manner I cannot express.I should be very glad to see you when your affairs will permit, for I have not had one help from without since I saw you last; nor have I hadmanyof those joys and comforts from within which have sometimes been indulged me. And indeed my animal frame would have been too weak to have borne them, unless God had in a particular manner supported it: for every faculty of my soul has been weighed down by continual sickness. I have not only been incapable of any outward application, but also of intense thinking or fervent prayer. But in the midst of thismyweakness, the strength of God has more abundantly been made manifest, that I might be abased even to the dust, and his free grace exalted; sothat I well understand whatSt.Paulmeant, when he said,Therefore will I glory in weakness, in distresses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.—But I must finish this already too long letter. Farewell! May the dew of heaven continually refresh you!****January 19, 1756.Dear Sir,IAM much obliged to you for your letter, from which I have learnt a very useful lesson,viz.Never to fancy that the particular circumstances of others would be more advantageous to me than my own. You are ready almost to envymemymanyhours of retirement; when at the same time, I am continually complaining that I have sofew, and often crying out, whenshallI have awhole dayto myself? And then I frequently think, were I a man and in the ministry, my time would then beallspent for God; butnow, what an inundation of trifling flows in upon me, which ’tis impossible for me to avoid, without altogether going out of the world.I enter upon the subject, on which you bid me write with fear and trembling. My abilities are really far from being equal to it: for although Iknow many Christians, who would immediately cry out, that it needed not one moment’s consideration, I dare not do so; for I now reallyfeelthe weight of it upon my soul. *’Tis a most alarming truth, that a minister may speak with the tongue of men and of angels, and that the power of God may so accompany his words as to make them the means of converting thousands; and yet for want of duly searching into his own heart, he may suffer it to be overgrown with poisonous weeds, with tempers and inclinations, which if unsubdued, will absolutely shuthim outfrom the kingdom of glory, to which he is leading others. How easy for a man who is continually setting forth the glorious truths of the gospel, and inforcing holiness of heart and life, to imagine (for want of constant self-examination) thathe himself iswhat he preaches? This is a most dangerous snare; and therefore how absolutely necessary is that retirement which affords opportunity for a diligent search into the recesses of the heart, and gives the soul leisure to wait in awful silence before God, where, free from every object of sense, and from the workings of imagination, it may with all its faculties prostrate before the eternal Trinity, and feel itself to be nothing, and God to beall in all? But then it may be asked, shall not a man who with singleness of heart, spends and is spent for the service of God, be so kept by divine grace, that his soul shall suffer no loss by the want of retirement? Doubtless.Wheresincerityandsinglenessof heart are preserved, that soul shall be defended as with a shield. But this I take to be the grand temptation of every minister of the gospel; he sets out perhaps (though this is not always the case) with a single view to the glory of God and the salvation of souls. The power of God accompanies his words, the hearts of the people fall under him. His reputation daily increases, till at last he becomes popular. He sees himself surrounded by a croud of people, who for the most part hear him as an angel of God, their thirsty souls gasping after the truths he utters. An innocent and anholyjoy fills his heart; “Here are souls that may be won to Christ, and thatby me! Lord, what amazing love, that I who am the least of all thy servants should be thus blest!”—So far all is well, all is happy: but the subtil enemy of mankind so strongly impresses this,by me, that a self-complacency, separate from the glory of God, arises in his heart, and this, if not immediately quelled, leads him to the brink of a precipice. God still, for the sake of others, continues his usefulness; but every conversion which he is the means of making, is fresh food for his self-love; and by degrees he becomes so dead to the love of God, that he preaches even the purest doctrines of the gospel, with the same spirit, with which a lawyer pleads at the bar. But on the contrary, thatblessed servantof Christ who stedfastly pursues the narrow path, who conquersevery rising of self-love in its first appearance, and constantly refers all the good he does or speaks to the author and giver of all good,heshall be kept in all his ways, and blest in all his works. And though his soul may pant for retirement, as thinking he should there enjoy nearer communion with God, and make higher advances in the divine life, thismay notperhaps be immediately permitted him: but in order that his future crown may be the brighter,God may makehis present usefulness asure signtohim, that he ought to continue his constant labours for others, though it should be with much temptation, fear, and trembling. However this is very certain, that God to a servantthus sincere, will point out a plain path, either byinward leadingswhich cannot be mistaken, oroutward providences.—Adieu! Pardon the weakness of this; let me see you the first time you have to spare, and believe me
To theREADER.
THE person who published these letters about twelve years ago, observes, the writer of them, “never supposed they would be made public, but put down the sentiments of her heart, in the confidence of friendship. This may excuse the inaccuracies some may find: besides they are not recommended as patterns of polite, epistolary correspondence. Their merit is of another kind. It consists neither in the fineness of the language, nor in the elegance of the manner.”—I really think it does, as well as “in the goodness of the sentiment.” I am not ashamed to recommend them, as “patterns of truly polite, epistolary correspondence:” expressing the noblestsentiments in the most elegant manner, in the purest, yea, and finest language. Yet undoubtedly even the beauty of the language is nothing compared to the spirit which breathes throughout. Happy they who bothtasteher spirit and are partakers of it: whowalk in the light as he is the light, and know thatthe blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth from all sin.
J. W.
LETTERS
ToMrs.****.
YOUR letter, my ever dear friend, has been a great blessing to me; that you should write in the style you now do, filled me with such a sense of mine own unworthiness, and of the goodness of God to me, that it melted my stony heart, and drew tears from mine eyes. Oh would the God I adore enable me to be of any help to you, how would my soul dilate in thankfulness? Blessed Redeemer, draw us both, and so will we run after thee. Oh Spirit of truth, descend on thine unworthy servants, and make usfullysensible of the seal of our redemption! Convince us still more deeply of our sins, and make us still more fully to know, that they are washed away by the blood of Jesus. Thouknowest the burdens we labour under, the dissipations of our thoughts, our wandrings in prayer, our spiritual sloth, and all the hardness of our hearts. Stir us up earnestly to seek after the things of God, and fix our inconstant minds. Thou knowest that we desire (for this desire comes from thee) that the love of the Father may abide in our hearts. We beg thine assistance that we may eagerly seek after this love. Oh teach us the prayer of faith, and enable us constantly and undauntedly to press forward toward the mark of the prize of our high calling! Be thou our guide, be thou our comforter for ever and for ever.Amen, Amen.
*What a task have you laid upon me? I watch over you! I your guide! This quite overcomes me. I cannot bear it. Oh, my love, there is no one so much wants a guide and a director as I do. Sure this letter of your’s was particularly designed by providence to humble me; but unworthy as I am, I will by the grace of God strive to do every thing you desire of me: but then you must return the same to me, and take me into the number of those you watch over. Let us go hand in hand in these paths which lead to everlasting life. What shall I say to quicken your steps? It was said to me since I saw you, byMr.**** “I hope still to have a great deal more pleasure from you, by seeing youpress forward.” Think these words were addressed to you by the same person. Oh what a blessing of God accompanies the wordsof one who is uniformly a Christian, of one who spends and is spent for the service of his master, of one who has no view but the glory of God and the salvation of souls! Who would not strive earnestly to follow so bright an example? The very sight of such a person animates the soul in its warfare. O what soul, which is the least alive to God, would not evenagonizeto be perfectly renewed after the image of Christ? Is your heart, is my heart so dead, that this will not affect it?—Alas, I grieve for mine own—may God give me to rejoice for your’s.
I have time for no more. May the blessing and influence of the ever-adorable Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, be continually with your soul.
I am your ever-affectionate,&c.
My dear Friend,
ITHINK you are now through divine grace, strong enough to bear what I am going to say to you, that I have long seen a mixture of pride and vanity even in the best of your performances. But I could hardly allow myself to believe it. What! have I often said, shall I judge so of her, whom every body admires for her surprising modesty and humility? Is it not because she is moreexcellent than myself, and therefore I am seeking to find some fault in her? Then I have often prayed to God, not to suffer my soul to be deceived by any sinister views, and to perfect in you what was wanting. And this I trust he will do for us both, if we keep the longing eye of our souls steadily fixed upon him. Oh for holiness of heart! Let us labour, my dear companion, for holiness, as a dying sinner labours for life.
I had yesterday a most delightful letter fromMr.****. It sent me to my knees so convinced of my black ingratitude to my heavenly Father, that I could neither find words nor thoughts sufficient to express my unworthiness; yet at the same time my heart was full of thanksgiving, under a sense of his unbounded mercies. O help me, my dear friend, to be more and more thankful! Such advantages—dearest Jesus, how justly great must be my condemnation, if I do not make suitable improvements. Take the latter part ofMr.****’s letter, apply it to yourself constantly, every minute if possible. “You have need therefore to watch and pray always, and then especially when you might seem to have least need. You have reason to fear always: for your enemies are always watching. But you have reason likewise to rejoice always, because he that keepeth you never sleeps.”
My dear Friend,
IHAVE read your letter with tears, and earnest prayers to God for you, and for myself. We are both unworthy creatures; indeed, my love, we aremoreunworthy than we can either express or conceive. O let us fly to the blood of sprinkling. There and there alone can we find help.
Thanks be to God, that you have a clear view of your own heart. This is a most profitable prospect, though a most dreadful one. Think me not cruel, when I wish that the holy Spirit maydeeplywound your soul with a sense of its corruptions. The deeper the conviction, the firmer the peace that follows.
*I hardly know how to believe you, when you tell me you are hurried away by desires after worldly happiness. Is it possible? Alas, my friend, pardon the harshness of the expression, if the love of the world is in your heart, you are only apainted sepulchre, beautiful indeed outwardly, but within——. My dear creature, I cannot bear to think this—a Christian to be hurried away with desires and endeavours after worldly happiness! IfSt.Paul’s character of a Christian is right, how far are you from beinga Christian? “Ye are dead,” says he, “and your life is hid with Christ in God.”
May not these violent ragings of pride, vanity,&c.you speak of, be some of the last struggles of a dying enemy? When the strong man armed keepeth his house, his goods are in peace. But when there is a stronger comes upon him to overcome him, and to take from him that armour in which he trusted, no wonder the house is in a tumult. And this I hope is your present case. But beware, my dear soul, of thinking, that you never should be otherwise. Limit not the grace of God. He has only to say,Peace, be still, and immediately the winds and seas obey him. “But how to obtain this peace?” Oh my dear friend, will you follow the advice of the meanest and most unworthy of the servants of Christ? Look upon yourself as being onlynowfully convinced of your guilt and dreadful condition. Look upon yourself as apoor, lost, helpless, miserable creature. Set before your eyes your sins, with all their aggravations; and when your soul is weighed down to the dust under a sense of your own vileness, then throw yourself at the foot of the cross: there lie as a loathsome leper before the almighty healer: there let your parched soulgasp(with the utmost stretch of all your faculties) after those life-giving streams which flowed from Christ’s hands, his feet, his pierced side; and there keep the eye of your mind fixed, until the still small voice be heard in yoursoul—“Be of good cheer, thy sins are forgiven thee.”
IWAS in hopes, my dear, that I had cause to think you had gained ground; but if I was mistaken, am very sorry. God forbid however that you should have gone back: I must not for my own ease believe that. *The reason for your not finding so much comfort as usual flowing from the cross, is because you lay yourself too much out uponoutwardthings. I doubt not but your own will is indeed very powerful, and it will ever be so, while you indulge yourself in castle-building. Let your schemes be ever so good, they are (unless God had given you the means and power to perform them) merely the creatures of your own will; and I don’t know any thing that self-will more delights in, than in these imaginary good projects. Believe me, my dear soul, I speak from experience. There is nothing more encourages self-will, pride, and every temper we ought to subdue, than these schemes. For God’s sake strive to get the better of this folly. I know your temper is naturally inclined to it, and therefore you ought to be more particularly watchful. Cannot you, my love, keep your thoughts fixed on the present moment, in a constant dependance on the leadings of theSpirit of God, and only wishing that every succeeding moment may bring a new accession of grace to your soul, without fixing on the particular means, by which you would have it come? When the will is in this total resignation to God, it brings a peace to the soul, which cannot be described.
I don’t like your going toVauxhall, I think you ought to try every possible means, to get off. Suppose you were to be sincere, and own it was against your conscience. Pray God direct you what to do. If you are reallyforcedto go, God will preserve your heart from the pollutions of the place. If this is the case, I think you will be in less danger of being hurt there, than in your visit toMrs.****: for in this visit you will lie exposed to the worst enemy you have, that is,yourself. With those good people, whom you love and admire, and who love and admire you, you will without the most constant watchfulness, be continually falling into self-seeking and self-applause.
I fear, my love, you will soon think me too plain in my speaking; but I cannot answer it to my conscience, since what has past between us, not to warn you of every thing which seems to me to prevent your progress in grace. Don’t imagine though, that I wish you would not make this visit toMrs.****; quite the contrary; but I wish you to keep the most constant guard uponyour own heart, that what should be for your health, be not unto you an occasion of falling.
I am your ever sincere and affectionate,&c.
*ITHANK God, that you now see the danger of wandring imaginations in a clearer light; but I cannot guess what schemes a heart like yours (which I should hope was desirous of nothing but what immediately tended to increase in it the love♦of God) can pursue, which are not for what we call doing good. Depend upon it, my dear, if you can by an act of your will waste a thought on any future view of happiness, that regards only your situation in this world, you are yet far from the kingdom of God. To a soul, that has but thelowestsense of the pardoning love of God, every thing that does not lead to a greater sense of this love is insipid. Outward things, according to the present circumstances we are in, ought to be attended to with prudence, though not with anxiousness; but that soul which runs out after them infuture, ought totremble. My dear creature, are we not every moment on the brink of eternity, and may plunge in the next, for ought we know? What then have we to do, but every moment to grasp after new degrees of grace, new power over sin, a still higher sense of the love of God shed abroad in our hearts? “Without holiness noman shall see the Lord”—Alas! what is a life of sixty or seventy years (supposing we could be certain of so many) to attain universal holiness? And shall we lose a moment? Outwardly we must a great many: but still our hearts may be gaining ground in the steady pursuit of that end, for which we were created, and to which we have such glorious encouragements. What! shall Christ cry out to us in vain, “Give me thy heart?” Or shall we dare to divide that heart, which cost him so dear? O my friend, be jealous for your redeeming God. Suffer not that soul, for which he shed his precious blood, to stray one moment from him.
♦missing word “of” inserted
♦missing word “of” inserted
♦missing word “of” inserted
I am sorry you found pleasure atVauxhall. I could not have believed it, had you not told me so yourself. I see, my love, I have thought far too highly of you. What a frightful distance is there still between you, and a Christian! Could any one who had the mind which was in Christ have felt pleasure, where they saw God dishonoured, and their fellow-creatures running headlong to destruction? You had reason indeed to be ashamed, and thank God that you was so. The curiosity in regard to the astronomical instruments might distract your mind for a longer time, but your taking delight in these did not shew such an excessive depravity of heart, as the other: for astronomy is onlyaccidentallymade ameans of dishonouring God, and hurting the souls of men; butVauxhallisnecessarilyso.
I am your ever affectionate,&c.
*IWRITE, my love, to you to thank you for the pleasure you gave me last Thursday, and still to urge you more and more continually to press forwards. Young as you are, you may perhaps be very near the end of your course, and the time given you to work inmay, for ought you know, be very nearly elapsed. That form of yours, which now delights the eyes of your friend, and seems to promise a long continuance of health and vigour, may soon perhaps become defaced and loathsome meat for crawlings worms, and that soul, that precious and immortal soul of yours, which is now far from loving its Creator as it ought to do, may soon stand naked in the sight of that God, to whom it has been ungrateful—its day of probation past—and its lot cast for a whole eternity. Oh my friend, my dearest companion in my pilgrimage, I conjure you by all your heart holds dear, that you lose not a moment! Oh may that God, who is love itself, so inflame your soul with a sense of his love, as may consume all its dross, and make it through Christ an acceptable sacrifice to himself! I think the last time I saw you I had the satisfaction of observing less ofself-seekingin you, than I everdid before. Sure God will give me greatly to rejoice in you. Farewel. Whenever, my love, I think too well of you, fail not to tell me, and take shame to yourself for deceiving me.
I am your’s,&c.
My dear Friend,
ITHANK you for your letters, and rejoice at a great part of the account you give me. You have been very happy indeed; and it seems to me that God gave you this happiness as preparatory to the trials, which were to ensue. And if you should after this goodness of God towards you, grieve his holy Spirit, by suffering your heart to indulge any temper, which you know to be contrary to his will, what words would be strong enough to paint your black ingratitude? I will deal plainly with you. I think you are now in a most dangerous situation. Every thing around you will conspire to tempt you to the sin which most easily besets you, and therefore you must not beone momentoff your guard. You must pray without ceasing, even in the fullest sense of the words and constantly strive to have strongly painted in your imaginationJesus Christ, and himcrucified. There is nothing I think more tends to humble us, than the consideration of the sufferings of Christ. When you find yourself going to say ordo any thing with a view to praise, think, this temper, this vanity of mine added to the weight of my Saviour’s sufferings, and made morebitterhis cup ofbitterness. Oh, if you had a soul capable of feeling, if you have one spark of gratitude, can you think this, and sin? Was you now standing onMount Calvarynear the cross of the blessed Jesus (suppose the dreadful deed was but now performing) and you saw the Redeemer of the world just nailed to his cross, say, would you help to drive the nails still deeper? Would you press the thorns closer to his sacred temples? Would you help to increase that load, which made him cry out, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” Does not your soul shudder at the thought? O my friend would you not rather die, gladly die, for this your suffering Lord? Would you not gladly be cut in ten thousand pieces to save him one pang? I know you would. And will you not strive against that sin, which increased his sufferings? Will you not strive, my love?—Yes, sure you will. Is not every thing we can give up by far too small a return for what the Redeemer has done for us? And shall we not give this little? Above all shall we not give up what most of all separates us from him, ourself-love, andself-seeking? Think my friend when any one is hinting to you, how extraordinary you are—“this person is ignorantly driving me from my Saviour.” And if you should, which God forbid,find yourself tempted to indulge a vain complacency in their applause, think immediately how their praise would be turned into contempt, did they know your heart as it really is, and blush for thus deceiving them. Recollect some of the mean motives which perhaps have been the springs of some of your most admired words and actions, and let your soul within you be humbled to the dust. And my dear, I beg you will be careful how you draw praise upon yourself by praising others. This is what I am very apt to fall into; and therefore I am the more sensible of its hurtfulness. And beware how you suffer yourself to attempt explaining nice points of doctrine, unless it is evident there will be good done by it, and then you may hope God will preserve you from the pride, which generally accompanies this display of the capacity. May you constantly walk in the light of God’s countenance, and go on conquering, and to conquer!
IAM glad, my dear friend, that your visit to **** has been of such benefit to you; and I pray God to continue it to your soul, and not to suffer these impressions to wear off. Temptations doubtless will attend every situation we are in; but the soul that rests secure in the love of God will easily conquer them. I wish you may find more and more benefit from the church prayers:they are for human compositions very excellent, and I belief the best form of prayers that ever was put together. I cannot reproach you for that which God has pardoned, but you certainly ought now to be more watchful, that you fall not again; for then great indeed would be your condemnation. The danger which may accrue to you by going to Miss **** will I find be known to you by experience only. She is certainly a good creature herself, and I love her, but there is a spirit♦haunts her absolutely contrary to the spirit I am seeking after. She is not capable, my dear, of watching your words with any ill design. Her only view is to find out your errors. And if possible cure you of them. I doubt not but if you could converse with her alone, and keep clear of disputes, she might be of great use to you, and I hope God will bless this and every other means to the good of your soul. The most excellent people in the world will be of little avail, unless his Spirit assists, and with this there is nothing so weak or mean, but what may tend to increase his love in our hearts. *For my own part, silence and solitude seem at present best for me, and I am more hurt by some religious people, whom I converse with, than by the people of the world. Indeed there is scarce any, who does not in some measure hurt me, exceptMr.****. Numberless are the snares that lie in our way to the heavenly kingdom. ’Tis truly a warfare, and a very difficult one, but the crown that awaits us at theend, is well worth the striving for, even unto blood. Besides the encouragements and comforts we find in the way are glorious: sure I am thatAlexandernever found such joy in all his conquests, as the soul that presses after the footsteps of Christ does in one conquest over self-will. There is more delight in suffering for God, than in reigning with the world. To clasp the cross of Christ close to the heart is more happiness than angels can give; and what inexpressible satisfaction is it to a soul, whose every faculty loves its Redeemer, to cry out,
Give me to feel thine agonies,One drop of thy sad cup afford;I fain with thee would sympathize,And share the sufferings of my Lord.
Give me to feel thine agonies,One drop of thy sad cup afford;I fain with thee would sympathize,And share the sufferings of my Lord.
Give me to feel thine agonies,
One drop of thy sad cup afford;
I fain with thee would sympathize,
And share the sufferings of my Lord.
♦“haunts” replaced with “haunts her” per Errata
♦“haunts” replaced with “haunts her” per Errata
♦“haunts” replaced with “haunts her” per Errata
*Oh God of unspeakable mercy, unbounded love, how little is all we can do or suffer for thee! Oh that we might not have a thought, nor even a pulse beat, but for our God! What is all that earth or heaven itself can give in comparison of thee? Oh uncreated beauty, how does every other excellence fade away at thy presence! How does a taste of thy love make every other love insipid! And a ray of thy light darken the brightest of created Beings! Oh when, when shall our souls be wholly swallowed up in thee! When shall we know thee even also as we are known! Thou knowest the desire of our hearts.Thou seest how our souls stretch, and pant after thee, even to fainting! Oh give us to drink of the waters of life, even in this our pilgrimage, until we come to drink freely of them from that river, which proceedeth out of the throne of God, and of the Lamb for ever and ever.Amen, Lord Jesus.
My beloved friend,
IHAVE been admiring the goodness of God to you, in ordering your being atL****at a time, when it must, instead of being hurtful, be profitable to your soul. The attending the sick bed of a dear relation in danger of death, is a most glorious time for exercising a number of Christian graces. Such a scene as this keeps the mind in a most proper temper, humble, recollected, serious; and in your particular circumstances, this illness of **** has freed you from most of the snares you apprehended. How does every thing work together for good to those who love God! And how ungrateful is that heart, which does not strive more and more to love him in deed and in truth! What, my love, are the inward temptations you complain of, and what are those unaccountable scruples? The best thing you can do is not to argue about them in your own mind, but immediately fly to prayer; and if you cannotpray, only wish earnestly to pray. *’Tis right, that you should think yourself the vilest creature breathing, and I am every day more and more convinced, that every soul which really loves God must necessarily in its own particular think the same: and in whatever proportion the love of God increases in the soul, in the same proportion will the sense of its own vileness and helplessness increase, till at last it is in a manner annihilated before God. This is a point which the wisdom of the world cannot understand, and which no scheme of doctrine can teach the heart; but when we truly know Jesus Christ crucified, then we can truly cry out, What!to mesuch love? to the vilest and most ungrateful of all creatures? O whence such love to me?
I grieve for the sin you fell into. Had the temper of your mind been really charitable, you certainly could not lightly have spoken evil of any one. Nothing is more contrary to the true spirit of the gospel, than this want of universal love. And yet there is nothing so common even among those who in most other respects are unblameable. How ought we every moment to watch! Oh when shall we indeed be renewed after the image of Christ!Adieu.
WHAT, my dear companion, can I write so animating as your present circumstances?God seems, I think, in a most peculiar manner to watch over your soul for good. What interesting, what heart-affecting scenes have you gone through? The account I had of your **** death, has made me see the goodness of God to you in the strongest light, and I am ready to shudder, when I think that it is possible, even after all this, that you should again be ungrateful. Oh watch every moment! Think what horrors and agonies you must feel, if you should now suffer your heart to turn aside from this tender and merciful God! The circumstances you are now in are like five talents given to your care. Remember♦you are to gain with them five talents more, or expect to hear these dreadful words—Thou slothful and wicked servant. Your heavenly Father seems to be making a plain way before your face. I see you in a light almostprophetical. I rejoice, and yet I tremble. You seem pointed out, I think, as an instrument in the hands of God for the conversion of Miss ****; but here you will be in danger from your old enemies, pride, and love of teaching, and above all that self-setting-up which you have found so difficult to overcome. O my dear love, fail not every hour of the day to pray particularly for humility. I trust you are not in danger from any increase of fortune. No surely. The heart of my beloved friend cannot be so mean and low, as to pride itself in dross and dirt. Perhaps you will find some difficulties in regard to the tempers of your****; how necessary will it be for you in this case to place constantly before your eyes the meekness and lowliness of the Lamb of God? And fear not, you will in all these things be more than conqueror through him, who has loved you.
♦“your” replaced with “you”
♦“your” replaced with “you”
♦“your” replaced with “you”
IPITY you, my dear friend; I saw yesterday that your head was full, and your heart not so warm towards God as it sometimes is. Oh when shall we be free from these distractions? Or rather when shall our love to our Redeemer be so intense, that our hearts may be constantly fixed on him, and we (as it were) walk through the fire without being burnt? *I remember having sometimes said to you the beginning of last summer, “There is more a vast deal in faith than we all imagine;” and though, thanks to the free grace of God, we both know more of faith now, than we did at that time, yet I may still repeat the saying, and may continue to repeat it, till our eyes are fully opened in eternity. “All things are possible to him that believeth,” said the God of truth; and why then do not you and I conquer all sin? Becausewe do not believe. The unbounded riches of the grace of God in Christ Jesus are hardly more astonishing, than the perverseness of that soul, which will not fully trust in them. Christ stands ever ready to save to the uttermost, if we will but believe, that hecan, and will do it; and we draw back and shrink from his redeeming hand. We suffer the dark clouds of our fallen nature to obscure the glorious light of the promises of God. And though our heads may be fully convinced of their truth, and we may have some desires of attaining them, yet there is in the centre of our souls an hidden root of unbelief, which just as we are going to lay hold on the prize, whispers—“How can these things be?” and then we sink. I have heard it observed of the eagle, that she holds her young ones full against the bright beams of the mid day sun: if they behold it stedfastly, she nourishes them, but if they turn away their heads or shut their eyes, she dashes them to the ground. There is something very striking in this. A nominal believer, who makes a profession of holiness, has all the outward marks of a true believer, as these dastard eagles have of the others; but he cannot look stedfastly at the glorious beams of the Sun of Righteousness: and how dreadful is the consequence? Oh my love, how ought we to watch and pray! How careful ought we to be not to lose sight for one moment of our immaterial sun, lest the eye of our minds should by that means contract a dimness and weakness, which might render us incapable of stedfastly beholding him, when he shall appear in all the fulness of his glory. May the God of mercy preserve you in all temptations, and be your portion in time and in eternity.
My dear Friend,
IPRAISE God with my whole heart for your happiness and strength, and I pray him to increase it every moment. O may that blessed peace never leave your soul: it is eternal life begun, and ten thousands laid in the balance with this peace would be all lighter than vanity. It is a glorious sign, that in outward troubles, or inward temptations, you can leave the means of your deliverance intirely to God, without suffering your imagination to run out after the manner in which you probably may be delivered. O that we could always venture ourselves upon the mercies of our God! Then would he indeed work wonders for us—wonders which we now can scarce believe, though the God of truth himself declares them unto us. And this God will surely keep you in the dangers to which you are going to be exposed, if you will be watchful to keep the eye of your mind constantly turned towards him, and wait and hang upon him, as a little child on its fond parent, drawing all your help, all your comfort from him, and him alone. If you have but little outward retirement, shut more closely the door of your heart, and there in its inmost recesses commune with your God, and Redeemer, there be continually crying unto him—Lordthou knowest all things, thou knowest that I love thee; thou knowest, O life and joy of my soul, that I desire nothing but to do thy perfect will, and to be conformed to the likeness of thy sufferings, as well as to the likeness of thy resurrection. Oh crucify in me the whole body of sin! Give me an humble, a mortified, and child-like spirit, and in thine own good time perfect the work thou hast begun in my soul.
As to examples which are not good, I hope I may say, that all the effect they can have upon my beloved friend (in her present happy state of mind) will be to drive her nearer to her God, and in that nearness what comfort does the believing soul find?
What tho’ earth and hell engageTo shake that soul with fear;Calmly it defies the rageOf persecution near.Suffering faith shall brighter grow,As gold when in the furnace tried:Only Jesus will we know,And Jesus crucified.
What tho’ earth and hell engageTo shake that soul with fear;Calmly it defies the rageOf persecution near.Suffering faith shall brighter grow,As gold when in the furnace tried:Only Jesus will we know,And Jesus crucified.
What tho’ earth and hell engage
To shake that soul with fear;
Calmly it defies the rage
Of persecution near.
Suffering faith shall brighter grow,
As gold when in the furnace tried:
Only Jesus will we know,
And Jesus crucified.
Yes, my love, let those who stile themselves our best friends join with the world in calling usmopesandenthusiasts. Still stedfastly fixed on the rock which cannot be moved, we will endure, nay joyfully take up the reproach for his sake,who hid not his blessed face from shame and spitting for our sakes, to make us (accursed and lost creatures) heirs of eternal glory. Oh that his strength may but accompany us, and the light of his countenance continually abide with us; and then we shall not fail to go on conquering and to conquer.Amen.
For God’s sake avoid disputes of all kinds. I was delighted the last time you was with me, to observe that you was greatly altered for the better in this respect. Think not that I will omit to pray for you, and fail not to pray for me. Oh my friend, soon will time be swallowed up in eternity.
IREADILY believe you, my dear friend, that you have not brought back the same heart you carried with you: for I thought I discovered the two last times I saw you, a falling off from the grace you had, and the happy state of mind you had been in; but for God’s sake strive to recover yourself before you are sunk lower. Think how dreadful your case will be, if you should so grieve the Spirit of God, as to cause him to depart from you. I know your heart to be ungrateful and deceitful, and you yourself know full well how much it is so; but fear not to search into its most hidden corruptions. Was it ten times more vile and polluted than it is, the blood ofJesus is all-sufficient to cleanse it. And my dear soul, let me intreat of you earnestly to seek after a clear and constant sense of the pardoning love of God. This only can enable you to trample all temptations under your feet: believe me, unless you really walk in the light of his countenance, you never can conquer all the powers and works of darkness. Oh seek the peace which passes all understanding. You have need enough of it, I am sure, considering the many snares you walk in. I really fear you do not diligently seek after God: ’tis very certain they that seek shall find; and therefore that the Redeemer is not fully manifested in your soul is entirely owing to your sloth and negligence. How is it possible for you to keep your ground against temptations which are continually striking upon your senses, unless you haveinyou the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen? When our understandings are clear in gospel doctrines, we are too apt to imagine our hearts are so. My dear friend, for God’s sake deceive not yourself. Oh suffer not your soul to rest, till you can say with full assurance of faith, “My sins are forgiven.” Depend upon it this is the first step in true Christianity. Oh cry to God every moment from the bottom of your heart, and he will do more for you, than you can either ask or think. I am a witness of his free and boundless mercy. For some days past I have been in the wilderness, my soul weary, faint,and desolate; no rejoicing in God; not one ray from the Sun of Righteousness: but this morning, this blessed morning, my Beloved returned to my soul, and I rejoiced with joy unspeakable, and could say with the fullest assurance, “My sins are done away—Christ is mine—God the Father is my reconciled Father—God the Holy Ghost is my comforter and guide.” *Oh my friend, my heart is now so overwhelmed I can scarce write. I could repeat a thousand and a thousand times over—Christ is mine. My soul is ready to spring out of its prison, and I could at this moment face death in all its horrible prospects to go to my Redeemer. Oh death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? My dear love, you know not what you lose by your negligence. O seek, strive, agonize; could you suffer the utmost tortures in body or mind, they would be all as nothing to gain one moment of this sweetness: and Oh pray for me, that I may not by sinning grieve the blessed Comforter, and lose my present peace. God be with you my dear friend. God bless you both now and for ever.
My dear friend,
IMOURN for you, and may you mourn too from your very inmost soul, till God himself gives you the true comfort. Oh thou dear backslider,what shall I say? How shall I find words strong enough to make a lasting impression on a heart so inconstant, so slothful, and careless? Oh that the Spirit of God would assist my weak endeavours, and point my otherwise unavailing words! You own you do not strive earnestly: alas I too plainly see you do not. But the blessed Comforter strives with you, and still you resist and grieve him. How irksome is it to me always to write the same thing? My dear soul, for God’s sake be more in earnest. How can you talk of sloth and carelessness, when you are standing on the brink of a precipice? Can you promise yourself another day? And are you fit to die in the state you are now in? Nay, are you not afraid to die? Oh if the Lord should say of you, as of the barren fig-tree, “Cut it down, why cumbereth it the ground,” how would you be overwhelmed with dread and confusion? For you who know so well what are the glorious promises of the gospel, to suffer your thoughts to run upon worldly things is inexcusable. It seems strange, that you should think you love Christ more than you did, when you was in a better state; however above all things hold fast, and strive to increase this love, but then at the same time take care that you hate sin in the same proportion, and that you strive against it with the utmost earnestness: for to talk of loving Christ, and at the same time to give way to sloth, carelessness, and worldly-mindedness, is an abominablemockery. If you are encompassed with ten thousand temptations never fear, so your own heart consent not to them. Your blessed Master will surely help you, if you can but trust him: and never give way, to thatseemingimpossibility of praying. Though perhaps you cannot pray with comfort, or with any kind of connection, yet if you be ever so distracted you may surely cry, Lord, have mercy upon me—Jesus, pity me. Or even supposing you could not do this from your heart, ask yourself whether you do not desire to pray; and if you do, thank God for that desire, and the next thought will be prayer. Could you not make the increase of your family profitable, by joining at stated times of the day in some act of devotion? If it were but for one quarter of an hour at a time, there would doubtless be a blessing attending it. Suppose you were to sing an hymn together, or by turns pray, either from some form of prayer, or what would be better, extempore. You ought rather to be silent, and be thought a mope, than to join in trifling discourse. Consider, my love, you are to set an example to your young friends; and fear not but God will deliver you from this bondage into the glorious liberty of his children. The feeble trust you now have is the work of his blessed Spirit, and he will increase it into an holy confidence. Let not therefore your comfort sicken, but trust in that Jesus, who died thatyou might live; to whose all-merciful bosom I commit you,
And am your affectionate Friend,&c.
My dear Friend,
IHOPE your present circumstances do not prevent your constant watching over your own heart, and pressing forward in the way of holiness. In the midst of all these prospects death may come! And are you fit to die? We cannot too often ask ourselves this question. We cannot be too serious. There is only a moment between us and eternity. May the Lord Jesus so prepare us, that at whatever hour he calls we may be ready, our lamps trimmed, and we ourselves as those who wait for the bridegroom. Adieu, my dear. May the Almighty preserve you from all evil.
OF what service, my dear love, can any thing I say be of to you? I have tried all means in my power to keep your mind more steady but in vain. If God has at any time so blessed my letters, that they have made any impression on you it has gone off in two or three days: andwhen you have had those great benefits indeed of conversing with living Christians, though for a time you have been raised and lively, yet you have soon sunk into your former sloth and carelessness. There must certainly be some hidden corruption in your heart, which causes this inconstancy. I often study you as I would a book, but you are in truth one of the most puzzling books I ever met with. I often rejoice to see in you (as I think) an increase of grace, and a decrease of that pride and selfishness, which under an appearance of humility you once had to a great degree. The last time you was with me, I thought you greatly advanced; and now you are fallen again into pride and selfishness. The Lord Jesus raise you up. Indeed, my dear soul, you grieve and wound me. You bring sorrow in my heart, and tears in my eyes: nay and sometimes your letters tempt me to impatience; but then I immediately recollect my own continual backslidings, and the long-suffering of God towards me, and can I be impatient with my friend? If your want of retirement is not owing to yourself, never lay your coldness upon that: for was your heart sincere, God would strengthen you at all times to look up to him. But if as you say, you trifled away your time, and indulged an unwillingness to prayer, no wonder God with-held that portion of his grace he would otherwise have given you. Depend upon it, whenever you find an unwillingness to pray, thatof all times is the most proper for you to pray in; therefore never say on such an occasion, “I will go read some good book, or do some good work, which may perhaps bring my mind into a better frame for prayer.” No, do not so foolishly; but go, and prostrate yourself before God with all your unwillingness; and he will soon give you both the will and the power to praise him.Amen.
My dear Friend,
IT is impossible for me to judge rightly, till I know more of your affair, and then I doubt not, but God, if we ask in sincerity, will direct us both to agree in our sentiments, as to what will be most conducive to your eternal welfare. However thus much I can say, be not unequally yoked with an unbeliever. To marry a man in hopes of making him a Christian, will be leading yourself into temptation. The advantages you speak of may doubtless be great blessings to you, if you are very certain you can enjoy them. You ought to be very explicit with the person, whoever he is, both with regard to your sentiments and his own heart. You cannot imagine the continual snares you will walk in, if you are joined to one, who is not joined to Christ; especially if you have any fondness for him. As ina married state there are more allurements to draw the mind from God than in a single one, so (if the companion be a Christian) there are also advantages in it, which perhaps may almost make the balance even. But how dreadful will it be, if he who should be your help, prove to you an occasion of falling? Above all things, my dear, try the sincerity of your own heart. Examine well whether you can accept this offer with a single eye to the glory of God, and the good of your own soul; and fear not, if you ask counsel of God in faith nothing wavering, that he will give you freedom of mind, either to accept or refuse as will be most profitable for you.
I do not wonder that your soul is at present distracted with worldly thoughts. An affair of this kind always occasions a thousand distractions, especially where it is in suspense. I fear your increase of company does not at all add to your spiritual happiness. The Lord Jesus bless you: I pity you. What need have we of continual assistance from above? How do we walk as on burning coals? O let us strive for that state of mind, in which we can say, nothing gives me pain but what is contrary to the will of God, and tends to draw my soul from him; and nothing gives me pleasure, but as it is agreeable to his will, and tends to draw my soul nearer to him.Amen.
My dear Soul,
IAM glad to write to you once more under the name of ****, and I hope God will give me strength to say all I wish at this important juncture. Important it is indeed to you; and the nearer the time approaches, the more I feel for you. Alas, you are now plunging into difficulties, which you can have no notion of until you experience them. You will have need of more than double watchfulness. Oh cry earnestly to God for grace and strength to keep your soul from sinking under the delusive arguments, which your three grand enemies, the world, the flesh, and the devil will be continually attacking you with in your new state of life. You know, my love, in all our intercourse, I have not failed to set before you the disadvantages and distractions you must necessarily meet with in a married life. This I thought it my duty to do, though your intentions in regard to marriage were always founded upon Christian motives. Had I found you inclined to dedicate yourself more particularly to God in a single state, I should doubtless have encouraged that inclination; but as this was not the case, and I did not dare absolutely to dissuade any one from marrying, I have therefore only strove to guard you against the evils attending that condition, and pray Godgrant you may find them overbalanced by the good. The first evil, which people are apt to fall into when they marry, is an extreme selfishness: this I have seen most flagrant instances of, but then the people were not Christians. Oh my friend, remember you have taken upon you the sacred name of Christian. The next thing which our sex in particular is very subject to, is a pretty indolence of soul, and a kind of hugging themselves as though they were become people of vast consequence; and then all they say or do, and every thing which belongs to them, is of importance. You will think perhaps there is no danger of your falling into any thing so low and silly as this; but do not think so, for without extreme watchfulness it will steal imperceptibly upon you, and if you once grow important, the flood-gates of worldly-mindedness will be set open, and your faith, your love, and peace, will be borne away by the impetuous torrent. The Lord Jesus bless you and keep you, and grant that in all the changes of this mortal life, your heart may there be fixed where true joys are to be found.
Your ever-affectionate
****
My dear Friend,
IKNOW not how to assume to myself the character you mention, and yet I dare not neglect to do any thing, which you tell me may be of benefit to your soul. I know God can convey blessings by the meanest instrument, and relying wholly on his power and goodness, I enter again into this correspondence. You complain that I have not lately been so watchful over you as usual: In writing I certainly have not, and you know the reason; but as to speaking, if I have there failed, it is entirely owing to my being so apt to think highly of you. I fear in this I may have dealt with you as with my own heart—judged too favourably of both. May God give me a clearer insight both into you and into myself.
*I doubt not but your present condition contributes greatly to your being more in earnest, and you have need to lay up all the strength you can against what may be a time of trial indeed. I am glad you found such a blessing on Sunday. I doubt not but the greater degree of light and joy you have, the more you will be assaulted by temptations, and these perhaps not only of a strange, but also of an impertinent and ridiculous kind. The devil will sometimes play the buffoon: but I have found the best way of dealing with thesetemptations was not to combat them, but to let them pass through the mind, as you would let a troublesome croud of people pass by your door without regarding them.
*The speaking evil of your neighbour before you are aware, though it has not all the blackness of premeditated evil speaking, yet it is a sure sign, that you have not that spirit of love, without which the highest attainments are but as sounding brass, and as a tinkling cymbal. I often am sorry to see how much this divine temper is wanting amongst religious people. For my own part, I stand self-condemned in this, though it is a sin, which I have even a natural aversion to; and I fear there are but few hearts in which this root of bitterness does not grow almost imperceptibly. However, the Captain of our salvation can give us to tread even this enemy under our feet. Let us therefore go on, nothing discouraged, trusting in his help, and following his steps, until we apprehend, that for which we are apprehended of this divine leader.
Your ever affectionate and faithful,&c.
My dear Friend,
*MR.V.has desired me to meetDr.**** at his house; but though I honour the character of that worthy man, yet I ratherfear,thandesireto do this. I really now dread the being set up as something to be thought well of. I see such a depth of pride and self-love in my own heart, that I dread any thing, which can give the least food to these hellish tempers. I am well satisfied, that there can be no perfect peace, no perfect love, till these be done away. Was not the blessed Jesusmeekandlowlyof heart? Was not he despised and rejected? And we? Oh, my dear love, tremble for yourself and for me. We are esteemed, admired, and sought after. Do we not, think you, tread upon burning coals? How dangerous, how difficult to act for the glory of God, without sacrificing something to self? And this self is all that separates from God—this self is all that keeps the blessings both of time and eternity from our souls. Oh let us learn, and know and feel, that we are nothing, and that God is all in all. Certain it is that unless we die with Christ, we cannot rise to his life. Unless we are crucified with him here, we cannot reign with him hereafter. Let us then nail our corrupt nature to his cross, and continually mortify every temper that is contrary to his perfect will. Suffer we must; but the love of God will make all sufferings sweet, and his grace will enable us to conquer all difficulties. I rejoice at the victory, which you tell me has been given you over (I suppose) some reigning sin. Is not this encouragement to press forward? If you would preserve constant peace and recollection,look more into your own heart, and lay not out yourself too much upon others. I have seen so much of the ill effects of this, that I dread it both for you and myself. Watch continually.
Your ever affectionate,&c.
****
YOUR letter, my dear life, has given me great pleasure. This is indeed, as it ought to be. And Oh by no means suffer this anxious desire after God, this thirst after holiness to abate; only let it be mixed with that kind of resignation, which implies a willingness to suffer, so you may be kept from sin. The pain you speak of I rejoice in. Oh my love, this is right; and may you more and more be conformed to Jesus Christ, and him crucified. A soul thus pained, thus longing, thus struggling for salvation, and at the same time lying low at the foot of the cross, and crying, “Lord thy will be done,” is an object in which the holy angels rejoice, nay on which God himself looks down well pleased. To such a soul every gospel blessing is near at hand. The Sun of Righteousness is on the point of rising in it with healing in his wings; the eternal Comforter is ready to witness with it, that it is born of God, and to fill it with that peace, which passeth all understanding. Theblessed and adorable Trinity is ready to raise it from its fallen state, and to perfect the new creation. What encouraging prospects! Only let not this happy pain be taken from you by any comfort the world can give, but hold it dear to your heart, as light to your eyes, till God himself change it to joy unspeakable.
*I have long thought that to wish for any thing, but the salvation of our own souls and that of others is wrong: because in nothing else can we be sure that our wishes are agreeable to the will of God. I do not know how to believe, that you could wish for more riches; and if the being pleased with the thoughts of gain proceeded only from this motive, that you thought God was putting it more in your power to relieve the necessities of others, I would not dare to condemn you: but it is so difficult to take any satisfaction of this kind without some mixture of worldly-mindedness, that we cannot be too careful in this respect; nay we ought rather to fear lest we should not be found faithful stewards of the talents put into our hands, as knowing, that both in spiritual and temporal blessings, “To whom much is given, of them shall much be required.”
My dear Friend,
IF it should please God to make any thing I write of benefit to your soul, I should greatly rejoice, but without that my words will avail nothing. And really the account you give of yourself at present is so strange, that I know not how to speak to you, or whether harshness or love is most necessary. This I know, that my own soul is greatly pained for you, but I dare not flatter you, “If any man hath not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his;” and doubtless to take a pleasure in exposing the faults of others is a temper as distant from the Spirit of Christ, as hell is from heaven. *Believe me, my dear life, if the love of God reigned in your heart, you would rather cover than expose the faults even of the vilest of men. And when obliged for their own good, or the warning of others, to speak to the disadvantage of any one, you would do it withfearandcaution, at the same time looking up to God, lest any bitterness should mix, either with your thoughts or words.God is love, and infinite streams of love are perpetually flowing from him through all created nature. His acts of judgment as well as mercy are only acts of love, and designed either to remove or tolessen the evils occasioned by the fall of angels and of man; and the soul which is born of God will as necessarily partake of this divine principle of universal love, as the child you now carry within you partakes of your corrupt nature. You have great reason then to tremble, while this temper has any footing in your soul. Don’t sit down contented, because you have intervals of recollection, but wrestle mightily with God in fervent prayer, until he speak peace to your soul, and his love be shed abroad in your heart, before which this evil disposition will fly as a mist before the morning sun. You greatly affect me by what you say in regard to the expected hour of danger; but fear not. No creature on earth can be more unworthy than I am; and the God of mercy protected me, and gave me strength, and courage, and calmness; and I doubt not but he will shew the same mercy to you: nay I have a strong confidence he will in your hour of extremity give you a clearer sense of his pardoning love, than you have yet experienced. Fear not, only believe, “All things are possible to him that believeth.”
It has pleased God within these few days to give me a severe trial, and eternal glory be to his name, I have stood it, crying only,Lord, thy will be done. My little boy was taken on Saturday evening with strong convulsions, and between that time and Sunday evening, had I believe, full forty fits. He is now much better.God is ever merciful: he brings to the borders of the grave, and raises up again. O how good it is to suffer? How glorious to have grace triumph over nature? How sweet to lay low at the foot of the cross, and bless God for every thing which more conforms us to the suffering Jesus? Be watchful, and earnest.Adieu.
My dear Friend,
*WHERE the consideration of the prophecies is a means of stirring any one up to greater diligence, or making them sit looser to the things of this world, and seek more earnestly after the things of God, they cannot consider them too attentively. Every soul should carefully observe that way, in which God particularly leads it, and punctually follow every means which it finds by experience brings it nearer to God. Some are awakened and brought low by meditating on the severe judgments of God; others are melted down by reflecting on his mercies. Some are employed usefully to themselves, and it may be to others, by accurately considering the several amazing dispensations of God in the whole scheme of our redemption. Others by a more simple and general view of God, as infinite wisdom and infinite love, rest calmly on his will, and though in a lower and less shiningway, pursue the same end,viz.salvation by the blood of the Lamb from the power as well as from the guilt of sin, and union with the pure fountain of all happiness. All these ways are good in themselves, and are made so to every soul, which inthemfollows the leadings of the Spirit of God. But I may make that, which is good in itself, evil to me, by using itonly becauseanother thinks it right, and not because I find it the means which most unites my soul to Christ; and therefore we ought never to blame any one for not being affected by that which affects us.
’Tis very certain that the judgments of God are now abroad in the earth, and that some of the signs of the last times plainly appear; this (whether the calculation in the letter be right or wrong) is obvious to every one, and calls aloud for seriousness and watchfulness. Happy are those who shall stand unmoved in the time of temptation. Happy are those who when all nature is agonizing around them can fly to the only rock of refuge, and there find shelter from the storm, and shadow from the heat. But above all happy are those, who shall have the glory of suffering for their Redeemer, of sealing their testimony with their blood, or in the midst of the fire shouting for joy, and blessing God for a martyr’s crown. These, these are glorious prospects, and weak as we are, should God honour us with a trial like this, he would also give us strength to be more than conquerors. In the mean time letus not be weary or faint in our minds, but manfully fight till we obtain complete victory over our evil hearts; and then shall we stand with humble confidence even before our judge, and though all nature was dissolved, we should remain unshaken, and be wholly swallowed up in joy full of glory. Amen, Lord Jesus.
My dear Friend,
*ITHANK you for your last letter, and I bless God, that you was not offended at mine. This bearing of plain-dealing is a comfortable proof to me of your sincerity. If temptations increase, God will give a proportionable increase of strength. There wants nothing but faithfulness on your part to the grace already given. I know not the particulars of your sufferings, but I know it is good to suffer. It is a discipline all must go through, who make any tolerable advance in the school of Christ. I could wish you to seek more after religion, than comfort. Constant and heart-felt resignation is a bulwark against every trial, and a foundation for solid peace, and joy transcendently pure. The whole state of a soul made perfect in love stands in that one petition,Thy will be done: and if we could but preserve that temper which these words describe, I know not what could hurt us. Supposenow when I first wake in a morning I should lift up my heart, “Lord I bless thee for this new day which thou hast given me. In this day I shall have fresh manifestations of thy will concerning me, either in comforts or in sufferings. Lord, I am thy creature, deal with me as it shall please thee: only leave me not to myself, but let thy grace be sufficient for me, and thy strength be made perfect in my weakness.” When settled in this frame of mind, suppose my trials to begin. I am tempted by the perverseness and evil tempers of my own family to impatience, to anger; but I immediately recollect myself, “Lord it is thy will I should bear this; pardon their perverseness, and give me to be thankful for every opportunity of self-denial and forbearance.” Well! now another, and more difficult trial appears. I am to behave to people, whom I know to be my bitter enemies, whom I know to be continually seeking occasions of evil against me, as if they were my dear friends. Here every faculty of the soul is alarmed, and nature shrinks back affrighted. But what does grace say? “Lord I thank thee for this glorious trial! What a blessing is it I should be permitted to drink of the same cup my Saviour drank of! Oh bless these mine enemies; fill their hearts with thy love; let thy will be perfected both in them and me.” This temptation is conquered, but another and a more trying one immediately succeeds. I am treated unkindly bypeople I love, and who are really my friends. Here my heart is wounded, it sinks, it is ready to faint; but recovering itself it rests upon God, and says, “Lord, even in this, thy will be done, and let the sufferings of Christ be perfected in me, that I may be also a partaker of his glory.” In this manner one might instance in all kinds of affliction, and find comfort and strength in each.
I know not how to think so meanly of you, as to imagine your heart in danger of being drawn away by the world. But I know I am always apt to set you in too high a light, and it may be so, in this case; this one thing however I am sure of, that we are fighting for eternity, and this against innumerable enemies, dangerous ones without, but far more dangerous ones within. If the Lord himself was not on our side, how could we maintain our ground one moment. To his almighty protection I commend you and yours, and am
Your ever-affectionate,&c.
To theRev.Mr.****.
Dear Sir,
IAM much obliged to you for your kind concern on my account. My illness I believe is rather troublesome than dangerous, a disorderin my stomach, which has been attended with a slight fever. I was ill, when you andMr.**** were to see me though I did not complain, and I looked upon it as a particular blessing: for had my spirits been in their full flow, an event so much wished, would have too much elated me: but my disorder served to keep the balance of my mind even. I see the goodness of God to me in every thing, and therefore sickness or health, life or death are equally welcome to me, as coming from the same gracious hand. Nature, its true, shrinks at suffering, but grace triumphs in resignation, and is thankful for the dispensation of the present moment, without wishing or willing in regard to the future. But I hope to learn some lessons of this kind from you next Sunday. Till then farewell, and may the fulness of every gospel blessing rest upon your soul.
Your’s,&c.
****
Dear Sir,
THE judgments of God uponLisbonare dreadful indeed. I know not what heart can be hard enough to hear of them without concern. What but the amazing mercy of a long-suffering God can preventLondonfrom feeling the same dreadful blow! And if God should arise to shaketerribly our land, what great reason will those persons have to be thankful, whom God has drawn from all worldly schemes of happiness, and fixed their hearts on a basis, which can never be shaken, though the earth be moved, and the mountains cast into the midst of the sea? I have been much comforted in respect of the miseries of others by this scripture—When the judgments of God are abroad in the earth, the inhabitants thereof will learn righteousness. If such a blessed end is produced by these severe acts of justice, have we not reason even in the midst of terror to admire and adore? The whole universe appears to me to be in the hand of God, as a grain of dust in the balance; and I, a creature more insignificant, more worthless, and sinful than can be conceived, am among the rest in this almighty hand, andall is safe. My heart is by nature painfully tender, and yet in the midst of feeling, either for myself or others, there is a secret satisfaction in my inmost soul, that God is glorified in every act of his providence, whether of judgment or mercy; and I hardly know how to form any other prayer thanThy will be done.
I fear I shall not see you on Thursday;——but wherever you are, may the God of all consolation be your light and your shield, and bring you safe to that city, which has eternal foundations.
I am your ever-obliged friend and servant,&c.
*BY what you said toMr.**** when he had the pleasure of hearing you, I imagine you think my illness is owing to a cause of which I am by no means certain; however the bare probability of such a charge would not be without my immediately reflecting on the dangers and temptations that would attend it. A soul, that is really desirous of attaining thepurelove of God, is exceedingly jealous of any thing that has a possibility of drawing it from its centre of happiness, and looks upon any event which has this possible tendency (let the world term it blessing or misfortune) with a tender, anxious fear, which none can understand but those who have felt it. This was my case, and my imagination would sometimes paint a thousand instances whichmightdraw my soul down to earth. And this fear (though it never made me wish any thing but what was the will of God) would bring the tears to my eyes, and cause an uneasiness, which doubtless proceeded from want of faith. But that God whose mercies are renewed every morning, soon delivered me from those fears, and calm peace, perfect resignation and watchfulness succeeded. And for this fortnight past, though I have been in continual uncertainty, whether I should continue in the condition I am thought to be in or not, my mind by the all-sufficientgrace of God has been so equally kept, that I have not had the least wish or choice of my own, but have been equally pleased with whatever seemed to be the leadings of Providence concerning me. And you cannot think, what a work of annihilation this uncertainty has been the means of carrying on in my soul, which I see plainly in the nature of things could not so well have been effected by any other. I never can be enough thankful for the unspeakable mercies of God to so unworthy a creature. My will has been brought into deadness, which I, even afew monthsago, should have thought almost impossible; and I see, and have some foretastes of that state which is called the pure and disinterested love of God, in a manner I cannot express.
I should be very glad to see you when your affairs will permit, for I have not had one help from without since I saw you last; nor have I hadmanyof those joys and comforts from within which have sometimes been indulged me. And indeed my animal frame would have been too weak to have borne them, unless God had in a particular manner supported it: for every faculty of my soul has been weighed down by continual sickness. I have not only been incapable of any outward application, but also of intense thinking or fervent prayer. But in the midst of thismyweakness, the strength of God has more abundantly been made manifest, that I might be abased even to the dust, and his free grace exalted; sothat I well understand whatSt.Paulmeant, when he said,Therefore will I glory in weakness, in distresses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.—But I must finish this already too long letter. Farewell! May the dew of heaven continually refresh you!
****
January 19, 1756.
Dear Sir,
IAM much obliged to you for your letter, from which I have learnt a very useful lesson,viz.Never to fancy that the particular circumstances of others would be more advantageous to me than my own. You are ready almost to envymemymanyhours of retirement; when at the same time, I am continually complaining that I have sofew, and often crying out, whenshallI have awhole dayto myself? And then I frequently think, were I a man and in the ministry, my time would then beallspent for God; butnow, what an inundation of trifling flows in upon me, which ’tis impossible for me to avoid, without altogether going out of the world.
I enter upon the subject, on which you bid me write with fear and trembling. My abilities are really far from being equal to it: for although Iknow many Christians, who would immediately cry out, that it needed not one moment’s consideration, I dare not do so; for I now reallyfeelthe weight of it upon my soul. *’Tis a most alarming truth, that a minister may speak with the tongue of men and of angels, and that the power of God may so accompany his words as to make them the means of converting thousands; and yet for want of duly searching into his own heart, he may suffer it to be overgrown with poisonous weeds, with tempers and inclinations, which if unsubdued, will absolutely shuthim outfrom the kingdom of glory, to which he is leading others. How easy for a man who is continually setting forth the glorious truths of the gospel, and inforcing holiness of heart and life, to imagine (for want of constant self-examination) thathe himself iswhat he preaches? This is a most dangerous snare; and therefore how absolutely necessary is that retirement which affords opportunity for a diligent search into the recesses of the heart, and gives the soul leisure to wait in awful silence before God, where, free from every object of sense, and from the workings of imagination, it may with all its faculties prostrate before the eternal Trinity, and feel itself to be nothing, and God to beall in all? But then it may be asked, shall not a man who with singleness of heart, spends and is spent for the service of God, be so kept by divine grace, that his soul shall suffer no loss by the want of retirement? Doubtless.Wheresincerityandsinglenessof heart are preserved, that soul shall be defended as with a shield. But this I take to be the grand temptation of every minister of the gospel; he sets out perhaps (though this is not always the case) with a single view to the glory of God and the salvation of souls. The power of God accompanies his words, the hearts of the people fall under him. His reputation daily increases, till at last he becomes popular. He sees himself surrounded by a croud of people, who for the most part hear him as an angel of God, their thirsty souls gasping after the truths he utters. An innocent and anholyjoy fills his heart; “Here are souls that may be won to Christ, and thatby me! Lord, what amazing love, that I who am the least of all thy servants should be thus blest!”—So far all is well, all is happy: but the subtil enemy of mankind so strongly impresses this,by me, that a self-complacency, separate from the glory of God, arises in his heart, and this, if not immediately quelled, leads him to the brink of a precipice. God still, for the sake of others, continues his usefulness; but every conversion which he is the means of making, is fresh food for his self-love; and by degrees he becomes so dead to the love of God, that he preaches even the purest doctrines of the gospel, with the same spirit, with which a lawyer pleads at the bar. But on the contrary, thatblessed servantof Christ who stedfastly pursues the narrow path, who conquersevery rising of self-love in its first appearance, and constantly refers all the good he does or speaks to the author and giver of all good,heshall be kept in all his ways, and blest in all his works. And though his soul may pant for retirement, as thinking he should there enjoy nearer communion with God, and make higher advances in the divine life, thismay notperhaps be immediately permitted him: but in order that his future crown may be the brighter,God may makehis present usefulness asure signtohim, that he ought to continue his constant labours for others, though it should be with much temptation, fear, and trembling. However this is very certain, that God to a servantthus sincere, will point out a plain path, either byinward leadingswhich cannot be mistaken, oroutward providences.—Adieu! Pardon the weakness of this; let me see you the first time you have to spare, and believe me