You are annoyed at your son. I came to ask for your daughter’s——
You are annoyed at your son. I came to ask for your daughter’s——
Anthony.
Stop! Perhaps I might not say “No.”
Stop! Perhaps I might not say “No.”
Leonard.
I hope you won’t. And I’ll tell you what I think. Even the holy patriarchs did not despise their wives’ dowries. Jacob loved Rachel and courted her for seven years, but he was pleased, too, with the fat rams and ewes that he earned in her father’s service. It does him no disgrace, to my mind, and I don’t wish to shame him by doing better. I should like to have seen your daughter bring twenty pounds with her. Naturally. It would have been all the better for her, for when a girl brings her bed with her, she doesn’t need to start carding wool and spinning yarn. But she hasn’t got it, and what does it matter? We’ll take lenten soup for Sunday’s dinner, and feast on our Sunday joint at Christmas. We can manage that way.
I hope you won’t. And I’ll tell you what I think. Even the holy patriarchs did not despise their wives’ dowries. Jacob loved Rachel and courted her for seven years, but he was pleased, too, with the fat rams and ewes that he earned in her father’s service. It does him no disgrace, to my mind, and I don’t wish to shame him by doing better. I should like to have seen your daughter bring twenty pounds with her. Naturally. It would have been all the better for her, for when a girl brings her bed with her, she doesn’t need to start carding wool and spinning yarn. But she hasn’t got it, and what does it matter? We’ll take lenten soup for Sunday’s dinner, and feast on our Sunday joint at Christmas. We can manage that way.
Anthony(shakes his hand).
You speak well, and the Lord approves your words. So I’ll try to forget that my daughter put a cup for you on the tea-table every evening, and you never came for a fortnight. And now that you’re going to be my son-in-law, I’ll tell you where my two hundred pounds have gone.
You speak well, and the Lord approves your words. So I’ll try to forget that my daughter put a cup for you on the tea-table every evening, and you never came for a fortnight. And now that you’re going to be my son-in-law, I’ll tell you where my two hundred pounds have gone.
Leonard(aside).
So he has lost them. Well, I shan’t need to take any sauce from the old werewolf, when he’s my father-in-law.
So he has lost them. Well, I shan’t need to take any sauce from the old werewolf, when he’s my father-in-law.
Anthony.
I had a hard time when I was young. I wasn’t born a prickly hedgehog any more than you were, but I’ve turned into one by degrees. At first all my prickles were turned inside and people for fun used to nip my smooth sensitive skin and laugh when I shrank back, because the points went into my heart and bowels. But that wouldn’t do for me. I turned my skin inside out and now the prickles get into their fingers, and I have peace.
I had a hard time when I was young. I wasn’t born a prickly hedgehog any more than you were, but I’ve turned into one by degrees. At first all my prickles were turned inside and people for fun used to nip my smooth sensitive skin and laugh when I shrank back, because the points went into my heart and bowels. But that wouldn’t do for me. I turned my skin inside out and now the prickles get into their fingers, and I have peace.
Leonard(aside).
The devil’s own peace, I should think!
The devil’s own peace, I should think!
Anthony.
My father never rested night and day, and worked himself into his grave when he was only thirty. My poor mother made a living, as best she could, with her spinning-wheel. I grew up without any schooling. When I got bigger and still could earn nothing, I should have liked at the least to go without eating. But if I did pretend to be sick at dinner-time and push my plate back, what was the good? My stomach was too much for me at supper-time, and I had to be well again. My greatest sorrow was my own clumsiness. I would quarrel with myself over it, as if I was to blame, as if I had provided myself in the womb with nothing but wolf’s teeth and deliberately left behind me every useful craft and quality. I was fit to blush when the sun shone on me. As soon as I was confirmed, the man they buried yesterday, old Master Gebhardt, came into our little room. He wrinkled his brow and twisted his face, as he always did when he had something good in his mind; then he said to my mother: “Have you brought this boy into the world to eat your head off?” I was just about to cut myself a slice of bread, but I felt so ashamed that I quickly put the loaf back in the cupboard. My mother was annoyed at his words. She stopped her wheel, and retorted hotly that her son was a good boy. “Well, we shall see,” replied old Gebhardt, “if he wants, he can come now, just as he stands, into my workshop. I want no apprentice money. He’ll get his food, and I’ll see to his clothes, too. And if he’s willing to get up early and go to bed late, he’ll get a chance now and then of earning a little money for his old mother.” Mother began to cry and I began to dance, and when at last we started to speak, the old man closed his ears and motioned to me to come. I didn’t need to put my hat on, because I hadn’t got one. I followed him without even saying good-bye to my mother, and when I got half-an-hour off on my first Sunday to go and see her, he sent her half a ham with me. God’s peace on his grave! I can still hear him, in that half-angry way of his: “By Gosh, under your coat with it, for fear my wife should see!”
My father never rested night and day, and worked himself into his grave when he was only thirty. My poor mother made a living, as best she could, with her spinning-wheel. I grew up without any schooling. When I got bigger and still could earn nothing, I should have liked at the least to go without eating. But if I did pretend to be sick at dinner-time and push my plate back, what was the good? My stomach was too much for me at supper-time, and I had to be well again. My greatest sorrow was my own clumsiness. I would quarrel with myself over it, as if I was to blame, as if I had provided myself in the womb with nothing but wolf’s teeth and deliberately left behind me every useful craft and quality. I was fit to blush when the sun shone on me. As soon as I was confirmed, the man they buried yesterday, old Master Gebhardt, came into our little room. He wrinkled his brow and twisted his face, as he always did when he had something good in his mind; then he said to my mother: “Have you brought this boy into the world to eat your head off?” I was just about to cut myself a slice of bread, but I felt so ashamed that I quickly put the loaf back in the cupboard. My mother was annoyed at his words. She stopped her wheel, and retorted hotly that her son was a good boy. “Well, we shall see,” replied old Gebhardt, “if he wants, he can come now, just as he stands, into my workshop. I want no apprentice money. He’ll get his food, and I’ll see to his clothes, too. And if he’s willing to get up early and go to bed late, he’ll get a chance now and then of earning a little money for his old mother.” Mother began to cry and I began to dance, and when at last we started to speak, the old man closed his ears and motioned to me to come. I didn’t need to put my hat on, because I hadn’t got one. I followed him without even saying good-bye to my mother, and when I got half-an-hour off on my first Sunday to go and see her, he sent her half a ham with me. God’s peace on his grave! I can still hear him, in that half-angry way of his: “By Gosh, under your coat with it, for fear my wife should see!”
Leonard.
You can weep, then?
You can weep, then?
Anthony(wiping his eyes).
Yes, I hardly dare let myself think of that. However well the source of tears in me is stopped up, that opens it afresh every time. Well, it’s a good thing, too. If ever I get dropsy, there’ll be the less water to tap off. (Changing his tone.) What do you think? If you went on a Sunday afternoon to smoke a pipe with the man you owed everything to, and found him all dazed and confused, with a knife in his hand, the very knife you had cut him his bread with hundreds of times, and bleeding at the throat and holding a cloth to the wound in terror——
Yes, I hardly dare let myself think of that. However well the source of tears in me is stopped up, that opens it afresh every time. Well, it’s a good thing, too. If ever I get dropsy, there’ll be the less water to tap off. (Changing his tone.) What do you think? If you went on a Sunday afternoon to smoke a pipe with the man you owed everything to, and found him all dazed and confused, with a knife in his hand, the very knife you had cut him his bread with hundreds of times, and bleeding at the throat and holding a cloth to the wound in terror——
Leonard.
Isthathow his end came?
Isthathow his end came?
Anthony.
And if you came in time to save him and help him, not just by taking his knife from him and binding up his wound, but by giving him a dirty two hundred pounds you’d saved up, all in secret, because else he wouldn’t take it,—what would you do?
And if you came in time to save him and help him, not just by taking his knife from him and binding up his wound, but by giving him a dirty two hundred pounds you’d saved up, all in secret, because else he wouldn’t take it,—what would you do?
Leonard.
Being a free man without wife or child, I’d sacrifice the money.
Being a free man without wife or child, I’d sacrifice the money.
Anthony.
And if you had ten wives, like the Turks, and as many children as were promised to Father Abraham, and you had only a minute to decide in, you’d—well, anyway you’re going to be my son-in-law. Now you know where the money is. I can tell you to-day because my old master was buried yesterday. A month ago I’d have kept it to myself on my death-bed. I put the I O U under the dead man’s head before they nailed up his coffin. If I could write, I would have put “Honourably paid” at the bottom, but all I could do in my ignorance was to tear the paper lengthways. Now he’ll sleep in peace, and I hope I shall too, when I stretch myself some day by his side.
And if you had ten wives, like the Turks, and as many children as were promised to Father Abraham, and you had only a minute to decide in, you’d—well, anyway you’re going to be my son-in-law. Now you know where the money is. I can tell you to-day because my old master was buried yesterday. A month ago I’d have kept it to myself on my death-bed. I put the I O U under the dead man’s head before they nailed up his coffin. If I could write, I would have put “Honourably paid” at the bottom, but all I could do in my ignorance was to tear the paper lengthways. Now he’ll sleep in peace, and I hope I shall too, when I stretch myself some day by his side.
Mother(comes in quickly).
Do you know me still?
Do you know me still?
Anthony(pointing to the wedding-dress).
The frame has kept well, but the picture’s gone a bit. There seem to have been a lot of spiders’ webs on it. Well, the time was long enough!
The frame has kept well, but the picture’s gone a bit. There seem to have been a lot of spiders’ webs on it. Well, the time was long enough!
Mother.
Haven’t I a frank husband? But I don’t need to praise him in particular. Frankness is the virtue of all husbands.
Haven’t I a frank husband? But I don’t need to praise him in particular. Frankness is the virtue of all husbands.
Anthony.
Are you sorry that you had more gilt on you at twenty than at fifty?
Are you sorry that you had more gilt on you at twenty than at fifty?
Mother.
Certainly not. If it weren’t so, I’d be ashamed of us both.
Certainly not. If it weren’t so, I’d be ashamed of us both.
Anthony.
Well there, give me a kiss. I have had a shave and I’m in a better temper than usual.
Well there, give me a kiss. I have had a shave and I’m in a better temper than usual.
Mother.
I’ll say “Yes” just to see if you still know how to kiss. It’s a long time since you thought of trying.
I’ll say “Yes” just to see if you still know how to kiss. It’s a long time since you thought of trying.
Anthony.
Dear old mother. I won’t wish that you should close my eyes. It’s a hard task, and I’ll do it for you instead. I’ll do you that last service of love. But you must give me time, do you hear? Time to prepare and steel myself, and not make a mess of it. It’s far too soon yet.
Dear old mother. I won’t wish that you should close my eyes. It’s a hard task, and I’ll do it for you instead. I’ll do you that last service of love. But you must give me time, do you hear? Time to prepare and steel myself, and not make a mess of it. It’s far too soon yet.
Mother.
Thank God, we are to be together a little longer.
Thank God, we are to be together a little longer.
Anthony.
I hope so, indeed. Why, your cheeks are quite rosy again!
I hope so, indeed. Why, your cheeks are quite rosy again!
Mother.
A queer little man, that new grave-digger. He was digging a grave, as I was going to church this morning. I asked him whom it was for. “For whom God will,” says he, “perhaps for myself. I might have the same experience as my grandfather. He once had got an extra grave ready, and that night when he was going home from the inn, he fell in and broke his neck.”
A queer little man, that new grave-digger. He was digging a grave, as I was going to church this morning. I asked him whom it was for. “For whom God will,” says he, “perhaps for myself. I might have the same experience as my grandfather. He once had got an extra grave ready, and that night when he was going home from the inn, he fell in and broke his neck.”
Leonard(who has been reading the paper all the time).
The fellow doesn’t belong to this town; he can tell us any lies he likes.
The fellow doesn’t belong to this town; he can tell us any lies he likes.
Mother.
I asked him why he didn’t wait till there was an order for a grave. “I’m invited to a wedding to-day,” he said, “and I’m prophet enough to know that I shall feel it in my head to-morrow morning. Then somebody’s sure to have gone and died, just to spite me, and that would mean getting up early without finishing my sleep.”
I asked him why he didn’t wait till there was an order for a grave. “I’m invited to a wedding to-day,” he said, “and I’m prophet enough to know that I shall feel it in my head to-morrow morning. Then somebody’s sure to have gone and died, just to spite me, and that would mean getting up early without finishing my sleep.”
Anthony.
“You fathead,” I’d have said, “what if the grave doesn’t fit?”
“You fathead,” I’d have said, “what if the grave doesn’t fit?”
Mother.
That’s what I said. But he can shake out sharp answers as quick as the devil can shake out fleas. “I’ve made it to fit Weaver John,” says he, “he’s as big as King Saul, head and shoulders above everybody else. So anybody can come that likes—he won’t find his house too small for him. And if it’s too big, it’ll hurt no one but me. I’m an honourable man and won’t charge for an inch over the coffin-length.” I threw my flowers in, and said, “Now it’s occupied.”
That’s what I said. But he can shake out sharp answers as quick as the devil can shake out fleas. “I’ve made it to fit Weaver John,” says he, “he’s as big as King Saul, head and shoulders above everybody else. So anybody can come that likes—he won’t find his house too small for him. And if it’s too big, it’ll hurt no one but me. I’m an honourable man and won’t charge for an inch over the coffin-length.” I threw my flowers in, and said, “Now it’s occupied.”
Anthony.
I think the fellow was only joking, but that’s bad enough. Digging graves in advance is like setting death-traps. The scoundrel ought to be sacked for it. (ToLeonard,who is reading.) Any news? Is some kind creature looking for a poor widow who could do with a few pounds? Or is it the other way about, the widow looking for the friend that will give her them?
I think the fellow was only joking, but that’s bad enough. Digging graves in advance is like setting death-traps. The scoundrel ought to be sacked for it. (ToLeonard,who is reading.) Any news? Is some kind creature looking for a poor widow who could do with a few pounds? Or is it the other way about, the widow looking for the friend that will give her them?
Leonard.
There’s news of a jewel-robbery. Funny thing! It shows that, although times are bad, there are still people among us that own jewels.
There’s news of a jewel-robbery. Funny thing! It shows that, although times are bad, there are still people among us that own jewels.
Anthony.
A jewel-robbery! At whose house?
A jewel-robbery! At whose house?
Leonard.
At Wolfram’s, the merchant’s.
At Wolfram’s, the merchant’s.
Anthony.
Wolfram’s—impossible! That’s where Karl went to polish a desk a few days ago.
Wolfram’s—impossible! That’s where Karl went to polish a desk a few days ago.
Leonard.
They were stolen from the desk, right enough.
They were stolen from the desk, right enough.
Mother(toAnthony).
May God forgive you for saying that!
May God forgive you for saying that!
Anthony.
You’re right. It was a base thought.
You’re right. It was a base thought.
Mother.
I must say, that to your son you’re only half a father.
I must say, that to your son you’re only half a father.
Anthony.
We won’t talk about that to-day, wife.
We won’t talk about that to-day, wife.
Mother.
Do you think he must be bad, just because he’s different from you?
Do you think he must be bad, just because he’s different from you?
Anthony.
Where is he now? It’s long past dinner-time. I’ll wager the food is all boiled away or dried up, because Clara has secret orders not to set the table till he comes.
Where is he now? It’s long past dinner-time. I’ll wager the food is all boiled away or dried up, because Clara has secret orders not to set the table till he comes.
Mother.
Where do you think he is? At most he’ll be playing skittles. He has to go to the farthest alley, so that you won’t find him, and then of course it takes him a long time to get back. I don’t know what you have against the game; it’s harmless enough.
Where do you think he is? At most he’ll be playing skittles. He has to go to the farthest alley, so that you won’t find him, and then of course it takes him a long time to get back. I don’t know what you have against the game; it’s harmless enough.
Anthony.
Against the game? I’ve nothing at all against it. Fine gentlemen must have their amusements. But for the kings of spades and diamonds, real kings would often find time heavy on their hands. And if there were no skittles—who knows?—dukes and princes might be rolling our heads about. But there’s no worse folly for a working man than to waste his hard-earned money on games. What a man has laboured for by the sweat of his brow, that he should honour and value highly, unless he wants to lose his balance altogether and grow to despise his honest work. How it hurts me to throw away a shilling! (Door bell rings.)
Against the game? I’ve nothing at all against it. Fine gentlemen must have their amusements. But for the kings of spades and diamonds, real kings would often find time heavy on their hands. And if there were no skittles—who knows?—dukes and princes might be rolling our heads about. But there’s no worse folly for a working man than to waste his hard-earned money on games. What a man has laboured for by the sweat of his brow, that he should honour and value highly, unless he wants to lose his balance altogether and grow to despise his honest work. How it hurts me to throw away a shilling! (Door bell rings.)
Mother.
There he comes.
There he comes.
EnterBailiff AdamandSecond Bailiff.
Adam(toAnthony).
Now you may go and pay your bet.People in red coats with blue facings(with emphasis) would never come, intoyourhouse! Eh? Well, here you have two of us. (ToSecond Bailiff.) Why don’t you keep your hat on, as I do? Who’s going to stand on ceremony, when he’s among his equals?
Now you may go and pay your bet.People in red coats with blue facings(with emphasis) would never come, intoyourhouse! Eh? Well, here you have two of us. (ToSecond Bailiff.) Why don’t you keep your hat on, as I do? Who’s going to stand on ceremony, when he’s among his equals?
Anthony.
Equals, you cur?
Equals, you cur?
Adam.
You’re right, we’re not among equals. Knaves and thieves are not our equals! (Pointing to the cupboard.) Open that! And then three paces back! Don’t juggle anything out of it.
You’re right, we’re not among equals. Knaves and thieves are not our equals! (Pointing to the cupboard.) Open that! And then three paces back! Don’t juggle anything out of it.
Anthony.
What! What!
What! What!
Clara(bringing cloth for dinner).
Should I—— (stops).
Should I—— (stops).
Adam(showing a paper).
Can you read writing?
Can you read writing?
Anthony.
How should I, when my schoolmaster couldn’t?
How should I, when my schoolmaster couldn’t?
Adam.
Well, listen! Your son has been stealing jewels. We’ve got the thief already. Now we are going to search the house.
Well, listen! Your son has been stealing jewels. We’ve got the thief already. Now we are going to search the house.
Mother.
Jesus!—(falls down; dies).
Jesus!—(falls down; dies).
Clara.
Oh, mother, mother! Look at her eyes!
Oh, mother, mother! Look at her eyes!
Leonard.
I’ll fetch a doctor.
I’ll fetch a doctor.
Anthony.
No need.—That’s the last face. I’ve seen it hundreds of times. Good-night, Teresa. You died when you heard it. That shall be put on your gravestone.
No need.—That’s the last face. I’ve seen it hundreds of times. Good-night, Teresa. You died when you heard it. That shall be put on your gravestone.
Leonard.
Perhaps I’d better——(going). How awful! But it’s a good thing for me. (Goes out.)
Perhaps I’d better——(going). How awful! But it’s a good thing for me. (Goes out.)
Anthony(takes out his keys and throws them on the floor).
There! Open up! Drawers and cupboards! Bring me an axe! I’ve lost the key of the chest. Oho! Knaves and thieves, eh! (Pulls out his pockets.) I don’t find anything here!
There! Open up! Drawers and cupboards! Bring me an axe! I’ve lost the key of the chest. Oho! Knaves and thieves, eh! (Pulls out his pockets.) I don’t find anything here!
Second Bailiff.
Master Anthony, compose yourself! Everybody knows you’re the honestest man in the town.
Master Anthony, compose yourself! Everybody knows you’re the honestest man in the town.
Anthony.
Is that so? (Laughing). Yes, I’ve used up all the honesty there was in the family. Poor boy! There was none left for him. She, too—(pointing to the dead body)—was far too respectable. Who knows whether my daughter——(Suddenly toClara.) What do you think, my innocent child?
Is that so? (Laughing). Yes, I’ve used up all the honesty there was in the family. Poor boy! There was none left for him. She, too—(pointing to the dead body)—was far too respectable. Who knows whether my daughter——(Suddenly toClara.) What do you think, my innocent child?
Clara.
Oh, father!
Oh, father!
Second Bailiff(toAdam).
Have you no sympathy?
Have you no sympathy?
Adam.
Sympathy? Am I feeling in the old man’s pockets? Am I making him take his socks off and turn up his boots? I meant to begin with that, for I hate him, as I never hated, since that affair at the inn, when he——You know the story and you’d have been insulted too, if you’d any self-respect in you. (ToClara.) Where’s your brother’s room?
Sympathy? Am I feeling in the old man’s pockets? Am I making him take his socks off and turn up his boots? I meant to begin with that, for I hate him, as I never hated, since that affair at the inn, when he——You know the story and you’d have been insulted too, if you’d any self-respect in you. (ToClara.) Where’s your brother’s room?
Clara(pointing).
At the back. (Bailiffsgo off.) Father, he’s innocent! He must be! He’s your son, and he’s my brother!
At the back. (Bailiffsgo off.) Father, he’s innocent! He must be! He’s your son, and he’s my brother!
Anthony.
Innocent, when he’s murdered his mother? (Laughs).
Innocent, when he’s murdered his mother? (Laughs).
Girl(with letter toClara).
From Mr. Leonard. (Goes out.)
From Mr. Leonard. (Goes out.)
Anthony.
You don’t need to read it. He’s deserted you. (Claps his hands.) Bravo, you rascal!
You don’t need to read it. He’s deserted you. (Claps his hands.) Bravo, you rascal!
Clara(after reading).
My God, he has!
My God, he has!
Anthony.
Never mind him.
Never mind him.
Clara.
But, father, I must!
But, father, I must!
Anthony.
Must! Must! What do you mean? Are you——(Bailiffsreturn).
Must! Must! What do you mean? Are you——(Bailiffsreturn).
Adam(maliciously).
Seek and ye shall find!
Seek and ye shall find!
Second Bailiff(toAdam).
What are you thinking about? Was it true, then?
What are you thinking about? Was it true, then?
Adam.
Hold your jaw. (Both go out.)
Hold your jaw. (Both go out.)
Anthony.
He’s innocent, and you, you——
He’s innocent, and you, you——
Clara.
Oh, father, you’re awful!
Oh, father, you’re awful!
Anthony(takes her by the hand, very gently).
My daughter, Karl is a bungler after all. He killed his mother, but what of that? His father’s left alive. You help him out! You can’t expect him to do it all by himself. You finishmeoff! The old tree looks pretty knotty yet, doesn’t it? But it’s shaking already. It won’t give you much trouble to fell it. You don’t need an axe. You’ve a pretty face. I’ve never praised you before, but let me tell you now, to give you courage and confidence. Your eyes and nose and mouth are sure to please; you turn into—you understand!—but it seems to me you’re that way already.
My daughter, Karl is a bungler after all. He killed his mother, but what of that? His father’s left alive. You help him out! You can’t expect him to do it all by himself. You finishmeoff! The old tree looks pretty knotty yet, doesn’t it? But it’s shaking already. It won’t give you much trouble to fell it. You don’t need an axe. You’ve a pretty face. I’ve never praised you before, but let me tell you now, to give you courage and confidence. Your eyes and nose and mouth are sure to please; you turn into—you understand!—but it seems to me you’re that way already.
Clara(almost demented, flings herself with upraised arms at the dead woman’s feet, and calls out like a child).
Oh, mother, mother!
Oh, mother, mother!
Anthony.
Take the hand of the dead and swear to me that you are as you should be.
Take the hand of the dead and swear to me that you are as you should be.
Clara.
I—swear—that—I—will—never—bring—shame—upon—you.
I—swear—that—I—will—never—bring—shame—upon—you.
Anthony.
Good. (Puts his hat on.) It’s a fine day. We’ll run the gauntlet, up street and down street. (Goes out.)
Good. (Puts his hat on.) It’s a fine day. We’ll run the gauntlet, up street and down street. (Goes out.)