WOMAN SUFFRAGE

"Oh, woman! in our hours of easeUncertain, coy, and hard to please"—So wrote Sir Walter long ago.But how, pray, could he really know?If woman fair he strove to please,Where did he get his "hours of ease"?—George B. Morewood.MISS SCRIBBLE-"The heroine of my next story is to be one of those modern advanced girls who have ideas of their own and don't want to get married."THE COLONEL (politely)-"Ah, indeed, I don't think I ever met that type."—Life.You are a dear, sweet girl,God bless you and keep you—Wish I could afford to do so.Here's to man—he can afford anything he can get. Here's to woman—she can afford anything that she can get a man to get for her.—George Ade.Here's to the soldier and his arms,Fall in, men, fall in;Here's to woman and her arms,Fall in, men, fall in!Most Southerners are gallant. An exception is the Georgian who gave his son this advice:"My boy, never run after a woman or a street car—there will be another one along in a minute or two."Here's to the maid of bashful fifteen;Here's to the widow of fifty;Here's to the flaunting, extravagant queen;And here's to the housewife that's thrifty.Chorus:Let the toast pass,—Drink to the lass,I'll warrant she'll prove an excuse for the glass.—Sheridan.Here's to the ladies, the good, young ladies;But not too good, for the good die young,And we want no dead ones.And here's to the good old ladies,But not too old, for we want no dyed ones.When a woman repulses, beware. When a woman beckons, bewarer.—Henriette Corkland.The young woman had spent a busy day.She had browbeaten fourteen salespeople, bullyragged a floor-walker, argued victoriously with a milliner, laid down the law to a modiste, nipped in the bud a taxi chauffeur's attempt to overcharge her, made a street car conductor stop the car in the middle of a block for her, discharged her maid and engaged another, and otherwise refused to allow herself to be imposed upon.Yet she did not smile that evening when a young man begged:"Let me be your protector through life!"I am very fond of the company of ladies. I like their beauty, I like their delicacy, I like their vivacity, and I like theirsilence.—Samuel Johnson.Auld Nature swears, the lovely dearsHer noblest work she classes, O:Her 'prentice hand she tried on man,An' then she made the lasses, O.—Burns.Not from his head was woman took,As made her husband to o'erlook;Not from his feet, as one designedThe footstool of the stronger kind;But fashioned for himself, a bride;An equal, taken from his side.—Charles Wesley.See alsoMice; Mothers; Smoking; Suffragettes; Wives; Woman suffrage.WOMAN SUFFRAGEWOMAN VOTER—"Now, I may as well be frank with you. I absolutely refuse to vote the same ticket as that horrid Jones woman."Kate Douglas Wiggin was asked recently how she stood on the vote for women question. She replied she didn't "stand at all," and told a story about a New England farmer's wife who had no very romantic ideas about the opposite sex, and who, hurrying from churn to sink, from sink to shed, and back to the kitchen stove, was asked if she wanted to vote. "No, I certainly don't! I say if there's one little thing that the men folks can do alone, for goodness sakes let 'em do it!" she replied.MR. E.N. QUIRE—"What are those women mauling that man for?"MRS. HENBALLOT—"He insulted us by saying that the suffrage movement destroyed our naturally timid sweetness and robbed us of all our gentleness.""Did you cast your vote, Aunty?""Oh, yes! Isn't it grand? A real nice gentleman with a beautiful moustache and yellow spats marked my ballot for me. I know I should have marked it myself, but it seemed to please him greatly.""Does your wife want to vote?""No. She wants a larger town house, a villa on the sea coast and a new limousine car every six months. I'd be pleased most to death if she could fix her attention on a smaller matter like the vote.""What you want, I suppose, is to vote, just like the men do.""Certainly not," replied Mrs. Baring-Banners. "If we couldn't do any better than that there would be no use of our voting.""There's only one thing I can think of to head off this suffrage movement," said the mere man."What is that?" asked his wife."Make the legal age for voting thirty-five instead of twenty-one."—Catholic Universe.MAMIE—"I believe in woman's rights."GERTIE—"Then you think every woman should have a vote?"MAMIE—"No; but I think every woman should have a voter."—The Woman's Journal.During the Presidential campaign the question of woman suffrage was much discussed among women pro and con, and at an afternoon tea the conversation turned that way between the women guests."Are you a woman suffragist?" asked the one who was most interested."Indeed, I am not," replied the other most emphatically."Oh, that's too bad, but just supposing you were, whom would you support in the present campaign?""The same man I've always supported, of course," was the apt reply—"my husband."See alsoSuffragettes.WOMEN'S CLUBSSeeClubs.WORDSSeeAuthors.WORKAll work and no playMakes Jack surreptitiously gay."Wot cheer, Alf? Yer lookin' sick; wot is it?""Work! nuffink but work, work, work, from mornin' till night!"'"Ow long 'ave yer been at it?""Start tomorrow."—Punch.Several men were discussing the relative importance and difficulty of mental and physical work, and one of them told the following experience:"Several years ago, a tramp, one of the finest specimens of physical manhood that I have ever seen, dropped into my yard and asked me for work. The first day I put him to work helping to move some heavy rocks, and he easily did as much work as any two other men, and yet was as fresh as could be at the end of the day."The next morning, having no further use for him, I told him he could go; but he begged so hard to remain that I let him go into the cellar and empty some apple barrels, putting the good apples into one barrel and throwing away the rotten ones—about a half hour's work."At the end of two hours he was still in the cellar, and I went down to see what the trouble was. I found him only half through, but almost exhausted, beads of perspiration on his brow."'What's the matter?' I asked. 'Surely that work isn't hard.'"'No not hard,' he replied. 'But the strain on the judgment isawful.'"See alsoRest cure.WORMSA country girl was home from college for the Christmas holidays and the old folks were having a reception in her honor. During the event she brought out some of her new gowns to show to the guests. Picking up a beautiful silk creation she held it up before the admiring crowd."Isn't this perfectly gorgeous!" she exclaimed. "Just think, it came from a poor little insignificant worm!"Her hard-working father looked a moment, then he turned and said: "Yes, darn it, an' I'm that worm!"YALE UNIVERSITYThe new cook, who had come into the household during the holidays, asked her mistress:"Where ban your son? I not seeing him round no more.""My son," replied the mistress pridefully. "Oh, he has gone back to Yale. He could only get away long enough to stay until New Year's day, you see. I miss him dreadfully, tho.""Yas, I knowing yoost how you feel. My broder, he ban in yail sax times since Tanksgiving."YONKERSAn American took an Englishman to a theater. An actor in the farce, about to die, exclaimed: "Please, dear wife, don't bury me in Yonkers!"The Englishman turned to his friend and said: "I say, old chap, whatareyonkers?""YOU"Here's to the world, the merry old world,To its days both bright and blue;Here's to our future, be it what it may,And here's to my best—that's you!ZONESTEACHER—"How many zones has the earth?"PUPIL—"Five."TEACHER—"Correct. Name them."PUPIL—"Temperate zone, intemperate, canal, horrid, and o."—Life.

"Oh, woman! in our hours of ease

Uncertain, coy, and hard to please"—

So wrote Sir Walter long ago.

But how, pray, could he really know?

If woman fair he strove to please,

Where did he get his "hours of ease"?

—George B. Morewood.

MISS SCRIBBLE-"The heroine of my next story is to be one of those modern advanced girls who have ideas of their own and don't want to get married."

THE COLONEL (politely)-"Ah, indeed, I don't think I ever met that type."—Life.

You are a dear, sweet girl,God bless you and keep you—Wish I could afford to do so.

You are a dear, sweet girl,

God bless you and keep you—

Wish I could afford to do so.

Here's to man—he can afford anything he can get. Here's to woman—she can afford anything that she can get a man to get for her.—George Ade.

Here's to the soldier and his arms,Fall in, men, fall in;Here's to woman and her arms,Fall in, men, fall in!

Here's to the soldier and his arms,

Fall in, men, fall in;

Here's to woman and her arms,

Fall in, men, fall in!

Most Southerners are gallant. An exception is the Georgian who gave his son this advice:

"My boy, never run after a woman or a street car—there will be another one along in a minute or two."

Here's to the maid of bashful fifteen;Here's to the widow of fifty;Here's to the flaunting, extravagant queen;And here's to the housewife that's thrifty.Chorus:Let the toast pass,—Drink to the lass,I'll warrant she'll prove an excuse for the glass.—Sheridan.

Here's to the maid of bashful fifteen;

Here's to the widow of fifty;

Here's to the flaunting, extravagant queen;

And here's to the housewife that's thrifty.

Chorus:

Let the toast pass,—

Drink to the lass,

I'll warrant she'll prove an excuse for the glass.

—Sheridan.

Here's to the ladies, the good, young ladies;But not too good, for the good die young,And we want no dead ones.And here's to the good old ladies,But not too old, for we want no dyed ones.

Here's to the ladies, the good, young ladies;

But not too good, for the good die young,

And we want no dead ones.

And here's to the good old ladies,

But not too old, for we want no dyed ones.

When a woman repulses, beware. When a woman beckons, bewarer.—Henriette Corkland.

The young woman had spent a busy day.

She had browbeaten fourteen salespeople, bullyragged a floor-walker, argued victoriously with a milliner, laid down the law to a modiste, nipped in the bud a taxi chauffeur's attempt to overcharge her, made a street car conductor stop the car in the middle of a block for her, discharged her maid and engaged another, and otherwise refused to allow herself to be imposed upon.

Yet she did not smile that evening when a young man begged:

"Let me be your protector through life!"

I am very fond of the company of ladies. I like their beauty, I like their delicacy, I like their vivacity, and I like theirsilence.—Samuel Johnson.

Auld Nature swears, the lovely dearsHer noblest work she classes, O:Her 'prentice hand she tried on man,An' then she made the lasses, O.—Burns.

Auld Nature swears, the lovely dearsHer noblest work she classes, O:Her 'prentice hand she tried on man,An' then she made the lasses, O.

Auld Nature swears, the lovely dears

Her noblest work she classes, O:

Her 'prentice hand she tried on man,

An' then she made the lasses, O.

—Burns.

Not from his head was woman took,As made her husband to o'erlook;Not from his feet, as one designedThe footstool of the stronger kind;But fashioned for himself, a bride;An equal, taken from his side.—Charles Wesley.

Not from his head was woman took,As made her husband to o'erlook;Not from his feet, as one designedThe footstool of the stronger kind;But fashioned for himself, a bride;An equal, taken from his side.

Not from his head was woman took,

As made her husband to o'erlook;

Not from his feet, as one designed

The footstool of the stronger kind;

But fashioned for himself, a bride;

An equal, taken from his side.

—Charles Wesley.

See alsoMice; Mothers; Smoking; Suffragettes; Wives; Woman suffrage.

WOMAN VOTER—"Now, I may as well be frank with you. I absolutely refuse to vote the same ticket as that horrid Jones woman."

Kate Douglas Wiggin was asked recently how she stood on the vote for women question. She replied she didn't "stand at all," and told a story about a New England farmer's wife who had no very romantic ideas about the opposite sex, and who, hurrying from churn to sink, from sink to shed, and back to the kitchen stove, was asked if she wanted to vote. "No, I certainly don't! I say if there's one little thing that the men folks can do alone, for goodness sakes let 'em do it!" she replied.

MR. E.N. QUIRE—"What are those women mauling that man for?"

MRS. HENBALLOT—"He insulted us by saying that the suffrage movement destroyed our naturally timid sweetness and robbed us of all our gentleness."

"Did you cast your vote, Aunty?"

"Oh, yes! Isn't it grand? A real nice gentleman with a beautiful moustache and yellow spats marked my ballot for me. I know I should have marked it myself, but it seemed to please him greatly."

"Does your wife want to vote?"

"No. She wants a larger town house, a villa on the sea coast and a new limousine car every six months. I'd be pleased most to death if she could fix her attention on a smaller matter like the vote."

"What you want, I suppose, is to vote, just like the men do."

"Certainly not," replied Mrs. Baring-Banners. "If we couldn't do any better than that there would be no use of our voting."

"There's only one thing I can think of to head off this suffrage movement," said the mere man.

"What is that?" asked his wife.

"Make the legal age for voting thirty-five instead of twenty-one."—Catholic Universe.

MAMIE—"I believe in woman's rights."

GERTIE—"Then you think every woman should have a vote?"

MAMIE—"No; but I think every woman should have a voter."—The Woman's Journal.

During the Presidential campaign the question of woman suffrage was much discussed among women pro and con, and at an afternoon tea the conversation turned that way between the women guests.

"Are you a woman suffragist?" asked the one who was most interested.

"Indeed, I am not," replied the other most emphatically.

"Oh, that's too bad, but just supposing you were, whom would you support in the present campaign?"

"The same man I've always supported, of course," was the apt reply—"my husband."