Giving a present is a kind and graceful act, and should be accompanied by a simple, short, and unaffected speech. "Take this" would have the merit of brevity, but would fail in conveying any information as towhogave, why they gaveto the recipient, and whythatpresent was selected rather than another, and whythe speakerwas chosen to make the presentation. All of these items form a part of nearly every presentation address, whilst some of them belong to all.
The novice will find much help in preparing his proposed speech by selecting a few items that are generally appropriate; afterward he can include anything which his own genius or wishes may suggest.
He may say that an abler speaker might have been selected for the pleasant duty, but not one who could enter into it more heartily or with more good wishes. He can refer to any circumstance which, if told briefly, will show why he has been selected, notwithstanding his reluctance or sense of unworthiness; or why he is pleased that the selection has fallen upon him. Such reference is usually effective.
Then the nature of the gift may be described. Here is an easy field for a little pleasantry. If a watch, it can be said, "Your friends are growing a little suspicious of you, and, after due deliberation, they have determined to a placea watchupon you." If a cane is the article in hand, then the painful duty of administering punishment for offenses bycaningis in order. A ring will afford an opportunity for many verbal plays. The ring of friends about the recipient, the true ring of a bell, or of an uncracked vase, a political ring—any of these can be made to lead up to the little hoop of gold. The fineness of the material, its sterling and unvarying value, the inscription on it, any specialty in its form—all these will be found rich in suggestion. Silverware of any kind may also be considered as to the form of the article, the use to which it is to be put, and the purity of the metal. Hardly any article can be thought of which will not allow some pleasant puns orbon mots. If a book is given, we bring the person "to book," and the book to him. Job wished that his enemy might write a book; we, more charitable, wish our friend to read a book, and now offer him a good one for the purpose. The author or the title will, if closely examined, yield some matter for play on words.
The army presents of sword or banner, while usually more serious, do not forbid the same kind of badinage.
But this should form only a small portion of the speech, and consist merely of two or three well-studied sentences, to be uttered slowly, so that their double meaning may have time to sink in, and appear also as if they were just thought of. A good anecdote should be introduced at this point. It must be short, tinged with humor, and, if it succeeds in arousing the attention of the hearers, it will be of great value. If it is very appropriate or highly illustrative, these qualities will compensate for humor. Indeed, a felicitous anecdote will make the whole speech a success, if the speech is not continued too long afterward. Better suffer the extreme penalty of reading every anecdote in this volume, and of searching for hours in other fields, than fail to get the right one; but if unsuccessful invent one for the occasion!
The good qualities of the recipient must not be overlooked, especially those in recognition of which the present is given. If anything in the nature of the present itself can be made symbolic of these assumed good or great qualities, it will be a happy circumstance. And while flattery should not be excessive or too palpable, it is seldom indeed that a large dose of "pleasant things" will not be well received by all parties on such an occasion.
The expression of kindly feeling and good wishes always affords a favorable opportunity for closing. Perhaps, however, a more striking conclusion can be made by taking advantage of the very moment when the present is handed over to the recipient, accompanying this act with a hearty wish for its long retention and its happy use in the manner its nature indicates. Wishing a ring to be worn as a memento of friendship, a watch to mark the passage of happy hours, a cane not to be needed for support, but only as a treasured ornament, a sword to be worn with honor and only to be unsheathed at the call of duty or of patriotism, etc.
The reception of a gift is more easy than the presentation, but is at the same time more embarrassing. The reception is easier, because the essential part of the response is to say "Thank you," which are very easy words to utter if the givers are real friends and the present is an appropriate one. It is more embarrassing because it is always harder to receive a favor gratefully than to give one. If the gift is a surprise, there is no harm in saying so, though if it is not a surprise, it is not advisable to tell an untruth about it. The recipient may say he is embarrassed, and his embarrassment—whether real or feigned—will create sympathy for him. Besides, he can ask for indulgence with more grace than the preceding speaker, as he is supposed to be taken by surprise. He may be so overcome with emotion as to break down altogether, and yet he will be loudly applauded.
A still stronger reason for this disparity is that the speaker representing the givers has been selected, probably out of a large company, to make his speech, and is thus expected to do it well; but the receiver occupieshisposition for a reason that has no connection whatever with his speech-making powers. If he succeeds in expressing his gratitude and goodwill to those who have been so generous he will have served the essential purpose of his speech; but if, in addition, he can gather up the points made in the presentation speech, assenting to its general principles, accepting the humorous charges for which he is to be watched, caned, stoned (when a diamond or other stone is given), or put to the sword, and gently deprecates the serious flattery offered, he will be regarded as doing exceedingly well. One phrase he will not be likely to omit, unless "he loses his head" altogether—"When I look upon this, I will always remember the feelings of this hour, the kind words uttered, the appreciation shown." This word "appreciation." with the reiteration of thanks, will make a very fitting conclusion.
In our country the number of voluntary associations that visit similar associations, or meet at special times and places is very large. Often such associations are furnished with free board and lodging by the people of the place where the assemblage occurs. Facilities for assemblage and enjoyment are offered and other privileges tendered that are highly appreciated. Religious bodies, church and philanthropic societies, military and fire companies, athletic and social clubs, various orders and educational societies, political bodies, these form only a small proportion of the endless number of organizations convening and gathering at different centres, gatherings which serve to keep all parts of our country in close touch.
It is needless to furnish model speeches for each of these, for the same general line of remark is adapted to all. The changes of illustration demanded by the character of the association to be welcomed, and for which responses are to be made, will be readily understood, and a little study of the name and character of the place of meeting will make the necessary local allusions quite easy. The welcome and response for a fire company, or a baseball club, will not differ much from that for a Christian Endeavor Society. A few general hints and a little investigation by the novice will put him on the right track in either case.
A clear statement about those who extend the welcome and of those who are to be welcomed is appropriate. This may be expanded advantageously by giving a few of the characteristics of each, greater latitude being allowed in complimenting those who are welcomed than those who entertain. It is bad taste to spend more time in telling our guests how good and great we are than in expressing the exalted opinion we have of them for their noble work, their great fame, or their high purpose; or in declaring the pleasure we feel and the honor we have in entertaining them. The warmth of the welcome extended should be expressed in the fullest manner, and as this is the central purpose of the whole address, it will bearone repetition. A good illustrative story, brief but pointed, may be worked in somewhere, perhaps in connection with a modest depreciation of our own fitness or ability adequately to express the strong feelings of those we represent, though if one can be found having a connection with the visitors themselves, it will be still better. What we wish our visitors to do while with us may also be appropriately referred to. If there are places of interest for them to visit, work for them to do, or special entertainments provided,—here is additional matter for remark. All these items may be run through in a few minutes, and then the address should close. The most bungling and formal welcome, if short, will be enjoyed more and be more applauded than the most graceful and eloquent one unduly prolonged. Should however, in spite of this warning, more "filling in" be desired of an appropriate character, it may be found almost without limit in setting forth the claim of the cause which both the visitors and the entertainers represent—athletic sports, religion, benevolence, education, or what not.
This may be still more brief than the address of welcome. To say that the reception is hearty, that it gives pleasure and is gratefully received and appreciated, is all that is essential. An invitation to return the visit should not be forgotten, if circumstances are such that it can be appropriately made. Then the speaker has an opportunity to review any portion of the preceding speech and express his indorsement of any of the assertions made. He should not dissent from them, unless this dissent can be made the means of a little adroit flattery by placing a higher estimate upon the entertainers and their services than their own speaker has done, or by modestly disclaiming some of the praise that has been given. The novice must avoid being carried too far by this fascinating review, both as to the quantity and the quality of the disagreement.
A closing sentence may be, "Allow me once more, most heartily, to thank you for this generous welcome to—your homes—your headquarters—to the hospitalities of your city," as the case may be.
Another wide field for the oratory of entertainment is to be found in the various celebrations that mark the passage of specific or notable portions of time—centennial, semi-centennial, and quadrennial; likewise weddings, annual, tin, paper, crystal, silver, and golden. The speeches for these differ widely in character. They may take the form of congratulatory addresses, of toasts and responses, or more formal addresses. All dedications come in the same category. Generally the shorter intervals call for light and humorous speeches, while the longer ones demand something more grave and thoughtful.
The following speech and response for a wooden (fifth) wedding anniversary is taken from a volume of ready made speeches. It is a fine example of that wit and play upon words which is never more suitable or more highly appreciated than on such an occasion.
If it is a good maxim not to halloo till you are out of the woods, our kind host and hostess must be very quiet this evening, for it seems to me that they are in the thick of it. If their friends had been about to burn them alive instead of to wish them joy on their fifth wedding-day, they could scarcely have brought a greater quantity of combustible material to the sacrifice. What shall we say to them on this ligneous occasion? Of course, we must congratulate them on their willingness to renew their matrimonial vows after five years of double-blessedness. In this age of divorce it is something worthy of note, that a pair who have been one and inseparable for even so short a period as the twentieth part of a century, should stand up proudly before the world and propose to strengthen the original compact with a new one. They look as happy and contented as if they had never heard of Chicago, or seen those tempting little advertisements in the newspapers that propose to separate man and wife with immediate dispatch for a reasonable consideration. Instead of going to court to cut the nuptial bond in twain, it appears that they have beencourtingfor five years with the view of being remarried this evening. Vaccination, it is said, wears out in seven years, but matrimony, we see, in this instance, at least, takes a stronger hold of the parties inoculated as time rolls on; and although in this case they are willing to go through the operation again, it is not for the sake of making assurance doubly sure, but in order to enjoy marriage as a luxury. With this happy specimen of a wooden wedding before them our young unmarried friends will see that they can go into thejoinerybusiness with but little risk of getting into the wrong box. In fact, it is because connubial bliss beats every other species of felicity all hollow that we have met this evening to requite it with hollow-ware. In the name of all their friends I affectionately congratulate the doubly-married pair on their past happiness and future prospects, and hope they may live to celebrate their fiftieth wedding day and receive agoldenreward.
"For self and partner"—as men associated in business sometimes conclude their letters—I offer to you and all our friends who have obliged us with their presence, the thanks of the firm which renews its articles of partnership this evening. We welcome you heartily to our home, well knowing that your kind wishes are not like—your useful and elegant tokens of remembrance—hollow-ware. When Birnam Wood came to Dunsinane, Macbeth was conquered, and it seems to me that you have come almost as well provided with timber as Macduff and Malcolm were. Your articles, however, although of wood, are not of the Burn 'em kind, and I am not such a Dunce inane as to decline accepting them. Indeed, my wife, who, notwithstanding her matrimonial vows, has asingle eye—to housekeeping—would not permit me to refuse them were I so inclined. She knows their value better than I do, and with the assistance of her kitchen cabinet will, I have no doubt, employ them usefully.
The speech closes with thanks and good wishes in return.
A toast may be given either with or without sentiment attached, and in either case a response equally fitting; but in the former the subject is narrowed and defined by the nature of the sentiment. Yet the speaker need not hold himself closely to the sentiment, which is often made rather a point of departure even by the ablest speakers. Indeed, the latitude accorded to after-dinner speeches is very great, and a sentiment which gives unity and direction to the speech made in response to it is, on that account, of great value.
To illustrate these points we will take the toast "Our Flag." A speech in response would be practically unlimited in scope of treatment. Anything patriotic, historical or sentimental, which brings in some reference to the banner, would be appropriate. But let this sentiment be added: "May the justness and benevolence which it represents ever charm the heart, as its beauty charms the eye," and the outline of a speech is already indicated. Has our nation always been just and kind? Where and how have these qualities been most strikingly manifested? Why have we seemed sometimes to come short of them, and how should such injustice or harsh dealing be remedied, with as much rhetorical admixture of the waving folds and the glittering stars as the speaker sees fit to employ.
From these considerations may be deduced the rule that when the proposer of a toast wishes to leave the respondent the freedom of the whole subject he will give the toast alone, or accompanied by a motto of the most non-committal character. But if he wishes to draw him out in a particular direction he will put the real theme in the sentiment that follows the toast.
Years ago a speaker provoked a controversy (maliciously and with no good excuse) which scarcely came short of blows, by proposing as a toast the name of a general of high rank, but who was unfortunate in arms. He was a candidate for office. Added to the toast was the sentiment, "May his political equal his military victories." This was in bad taste, indeed, but it shows the use that can be made of the sentiment, when added to a toast, in fixing attention in a certain direction.
The number of sentiments suggested by the common and standard toasts is unlimited. Take the toast "Home," as an example.
Home: The golden setting in which the brightest jewel is "Mother."
Home: A world of strife shut out, and a world of love shut in.
Home: The blossoms of which heaven is the fruit.
Home: The only spot on earth where the fault and failings of fallen humanity are hidden under a mantle of charity.
Home: An abode wherein the inmate, the superior being called man, can pay back at night, with fifty per cent. interest, every annoyance that he has met with in business during the day.
Home: The place where the great are sometimes small, and the small often great.
Home: The father's kingdom; the child's paradise; the mother's world.
Home: The jewel casket containing the most precious of all jewels—domestic happiness.
Home: The place where you are treated best and grumble most.
Home: It is the central telegraph office of human love, into which run innumerable wires of affection, many of which, though extending thousands of miles, are never disconnected from the one great terminus.
Home: The centre of our affections, around which our hearts' best wishes twine.
Home: A little sheltered hollow scooped out of the windy hill of the world.
Home: A place where our stomachs get three good meals daily and our hearts a thousand.
These might be multiplied indefinitely, but a sufficient number are given to serve as hints to the person who is able to make his own toasts, yet seeks a little aid to lift him out of the common rut.
Marriage: The happy estate which resembles a pair of shears; so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.
Marriage: The gate through which the happy lover leaves his enchanted ground and returns from paradise to earth.
Woman: The fairest work of the great Author; the edition is large, and no man should be without a copy.
Woman: She needs no eulogy; she speaks for herself.
Woman: The bitter half of man. (A sour bachelor's toast.)
Wedlock: May the single all be married and all the married be happy. Love to one, friendship to many, and good-will to all.
The Lady we love and the Friend we trust.
May we have the unspeakable good Fortune to win a true heart, and the Merit to keep it.
Friendship: May its bark never founder on the rocks of deception.
Friendship: May its lamp ever be supplied by the oil of truth and fidelity.
Unselfish Friendship: May we ever be able to serve a friend, and noble enough to conceal it.
Firm Friendship: May differences of opinion only cement it.
May we have more and more Friends and Need them less and less.
May our Friend in sorrow never be a Sorrowing friend.
Active Friendship: May the hinges of friendship never grow rusty.
To our Friends: Whether absent on land or sea.
Our Friends: May the present have no burdens for them and futurity no terrors.
Our Friends: May we always have them and always know their value.
Friends: May we be richer in their love than in wealth, and yet money be plenty.
A Friend: May we never want one to cheer us, or a home to welcome him.
Good Judgment: May opinions never float in the sea of ignorance.
Careful Kindness: May we never crack a joke or break a reputation.
Enduring Prudence: May the pleasures of youth never bring us pain in old age.
Deliverance in Trouble: May the sunshine of hope dispel the clouds of calamity.
Successful Suit: May we court and win all the Daughters of Fortune except the eldest—Miss Fortune.
Here's a Health to Detail, Retail, and Curtail—indeed, all the tails but tell-tales.
The Coming Millennium: When great men are honest and honest men are great.
Our Merchant: May he have good trade, well paid. May the Devil cut the toes of all our foes, That we may know them by their limping.
May we Live to learn well and Learn to live well.
A Placid Life: May we never murmur without cause, and never have cause to murmur.
May we never lose our Bait when we Fish for compliments.
A Better Distribution of Money: May Avarice lose his purse and Benevolence find it.
May Care be a stranger and Serenity a familiar friend to every honest heart.
May Fortune recover her eyesight and be able to distribute her gifts more wisely and equally.
May Bad Example never attract youthful minds.
May Poverty never come to us without rich compensations and hope of a speedy departure.
Our Flag: The beautiful banner that represents the preciousmettleof America.
American Eagle, The: The liberty bird that permits no liberties.
American Eagle, The: May she build her nest in every rock peak of this continent.
American Valor: May no war require it, but may it be always ready for every foe.
American People, The: May they live in peace and grow strong in the practice of every virtue.
Our Native Land: May it ever be worthy of our heartiest love, and continue to draw it forth without stint.
(A spread-eagle toast.) The Boundaries of Our Country: East, by the Rising Sun; north, by the North Pole; west, by all Creation; and south, by the Day of Judgment.
Our Lakes and Rivers: Navigable waters that unite all the States and render the very thought of their separation absurd.
Our Sons and Daughters: May they be honest as brave and modest as fair.
America and the World: May our nation ever enjoy the blessings of the widest liberty, and be ever ready to promote the liberties of mankind.
Discontented Citizens: May they speedily leave their country for their country's good.
America:
"Our hearts, our hopes are all with thee,Our hearts, our hopes, our prayers, our tears,Our faith, triumphant o'er our fears,Are all with thee, are all with thee."
The Patriot:
"Breathes there a man with soul so dead,Who never to himself hath said,This is my own, my native land;Whose heart hath ne'er within him burned,As home his footsteps he hath turnedFrom wandering on a foreign strand?"
Our Country: Whether bounded by Canada or Mexico, or however otherwise bounded and described; be the measurement more or less, still Our Country; to be cherished in our hearts and defended by our lives.
Our Country: In our intercourse with foreign nations may she always be in the right; and if not, may we ever be true patriots enough to get her into the right at any cost.
Our Country: May we render due reverence and love to the common mother of us all.
The Ship of State:
"Nail to the mast her holy flag;Set every threadbare sail;And give her to the God of Storms,The lightning and the gale."
Columbia: My country, with all thy faults, I love thee still.
Webster's Motto: Liberty and Union, now and forever, one and inseparable.
True Patriotism: May every American be a good citizen in peace, a valiant soldier in war.
Our Country: May our love of country be without bounds and without a shadow of fear.
Our Statesmen: May they care less for party and for personal ambition than for the nation's welfare.
Failure to Treason: May he who would destroy his country for a mess of pottage never get the pottage!
The Penalty of Treason: May he who would uproot the tree of Liberty be the first one crushed by its fall.
The Nation: May it know no North, no South, no East, no West, but only one broad, beautiful, glorious land.
America:
Dear Country, our thoughts are more constant to thee,Than the steel to the star and the stream to the sea.
Our Revolutionary Fathers: May their sons never disgrace their parentage.
Our Town: The best in the land; let him that don't like it leave it.
The Tree of Liberty: May every American citizen help cultivate it and eat freely of its fruit.
The Emigrant: May the man that doesn't love his native country speedily hie him to one that he can love.
The American Eagle: It is not healthful to try to deposit salt on his venerable tail.
California: The land of golden rocks and golden fruits.
Ohio: The second Mother of Presidents.
Vermont: A State of rocks, but producing men, women, maple sugar, and horses.
"The first are strong, the last are fleet,The second and third are exceedingly sweet,And all are uncommonly hard to beat."
Texas: The biggest of States, and one of the very best.
New York: Unrivalled if numbers in city and State be the test.
Our Navy: May it always be as anxious to preserve peace as to uphold the honor of the flag in war.
Our Army: May it ever be very small in peace, but grow to mighty dimensions and mightier achievement in war.
Our Country: May the form of liberty never be used to subvert the principles of true freedom.
Our Voters: May they always have a standard to try their rulers by, and be quick to punish or reward justly.
Fortune: A divinity to fools, a helper to wise men.
The Present: Anticipation may be very agreeable but participation is more practical.
The Present Opportunity: We may lay in a stock of pleasures for use in memory, but they must be kept carefully to prevent mouldering.
Philosophy: It may conquer past or present pain but toothache, while it lasts, laughs at philosophy.
Our Noble Selves: Why not toast ourselves and praise ourselves since we have the best means of knowing all the good in ourselves?
Charity: A link from the chain of gold that angels forge.
Our Harvests: May the sunshine of plenty dispel the clouds of care.
Virtue: May we have the wit to discover what is true and the fortitude to practice what is good.
Our Firesides: Our heads may not be sharpened at colleges, but our hearts are graduates of the hearths.
The True Medium: Give us good form, but not formality.
The Excesses of Youth: They are heavy drafts upon old age, payable with compound interest about thirty years from date.
The Best of Good Feeling: May we never feel want nor want feeling.
Our Incomes: May we have a head to earn and hearts to spend.
Forbearance: May we have keen wit, but never make a sword of our tongues to wound the reputation of others.
Wit: A cheap and nasty commodity when uttered at the expense of modesty and courtesy.
Cheerfulness and Fortitude: May we never give way to melancholy, but always be merry at the right places.
Generosity: May we all be as charitable and indulgent as the Khan of Tartary, who, when he has dined on milk and horseflesh, makes proclamation that all the kings and emperors of earth have now his gracious permission to dine.
Economy: The daughter of Prudence, the sister of Temperance, and the parent of Independence.
Fidelity and Forgiveness: May our injuries be written in sand and our gratitude for benefits in rock.
A Good Memory: May it always be used as a storehouse and never as a lumber-room.
A Health to Our Dearest: May their purses always be heavy and their hearts always be light.
The Noblest Qualities: Charity without ostentation and religion without bigotry.
Discernment of Character: May Flattery never be permitted to sit in the parlor while Plain and Kindly Dealing is kicked out into the woodshed.
False Friends: May we never have friends who, like shadows, keep close to us in the sunshine only to desert us in a cloudy day or in the night.
A Competence: May we never want bread to make a toast or a good cook to prepare it.
The Man we Love: He who thinks most good and speaks least ill of his neighbors.
Human Nature as the Best Study: He who is learned in books alone may know how some things ought to be, but he who reads men learns how things are.
Metaphysics the Noblest of the Sciences: "When a mon wha' kens naething aboot ony subject, takes a subject that nae mon kens onything aboot and explains it to anither mon still more ignorant—that's Metaphysics."
The Deeds of Men: The best interpreters of their motives.
Love and Affection: The necessary basis for a happy life.
Charity: A mantle of heavenly weaving used to cover the faults of our neighbors.
Charitable Allowances: May our eyes be no keener when we look upon the faults of others than when we survey our own.
Cheerful Courage: "May this be our maxim whene'er we are twirled, A fig for the cares of this whirl-a-gig world."
A Golden Maxim: To err is human, to forgive divine.
Prudence in Speech: The imprudent man reflects upon what he has said, the wise man upon what he is going to say.
Thought and Speech: It is much safer to always think what we say than always to say what we think.
Everybody: May no one now feel that he has been omitted.
Fame: The great undertaker who pays little attention to the living but makes no end of parade over the dead.
The Chatterbox: May he give us a few brilliant flashes of silence.
Discretion in Speech: May we always remember the manner, the place, and the time.
A Happy Future: May the best day we have seen be worse than the worst that is to come.
To a Fat Friend: May your shadow never grow less.
May every Hair of your head be as a shining Candle to light you to glory.
Long Life to our Friends: May the chicken never be hatched that will scratch on their graves.
Confusion to the Early Bird: May it and the worm both be picked up.
The Nimble Penny: May it soon grow into a dime and then swell into a dollar.
To a Sovereign: not the kind that sits on a throne, but the one that lies in our pocket.
Our Land: May we live happy in it and never be sent out of it for our country's good.
Three Great Commanders: May we always be under the orders of General Peace, General Plenty, and General Prosperity.
The Three Best Doctors: May Doctor Quiet, Doctor Diet, and Doctor Good Conscience ever keep us well.
The Health of that wise and good Man who kept a Dog and yet did his own barking!
Here's to the health of ——: The old bird that was not caught with chaff.
The Health of those we Love the beet; Our noble selves.
Every year new occasions arise that point to a new order of celebrations. Until recently there were no centennial celebrations. Once inaugurated these suggested semi-centennial and quarter-century ones, and as the country advanced in years there came the bi-centennial and ter-centennial. And the attention of the civilized globe was called to our fourth-centennial by the unrivalled and wonderful display at the World's Exhibition in Chicago.
In this chapter are given outlines of a miscellaneous character, some original and some selected.
OUTLINE OF CHAUNCEY M. DEPEW'S ADDRESS AT THE CENTENNIAL OF CAPTURE OF ANDRÉ
This is a good model for the semi-centennial or centennial of any noted event.
Being in the open air the speaker referred to the grand scenery, almost the same as one hundred years before.
Effect on the nation's heart of such Revolutionary commemorations.
Small events influence the currents of history. Thermopylæ and its 300;the three plain farmers who preserved American liberty.
The orator then sketched compactly but vividly the critical situation of 1780, and tells at length the story of Arnold's treason, its frustration by the capture of André and his pathetic fate. This "one romance of the Revolution" is a thrilling tale, and all adornment is given to it. The account of the struggle to save André's life gives the interest of controversy, as does the defense of Washington's course. The anecdote and the illustrative parallel are both supplied by the case of Captain Nathan Hale, executed by the English as an American spy. The address closes with a fitting tribute to André's three captors, whose modest monument marked the spot, and a very effective quotation of William of Orange's heroic oath at his coronation, "I will maintain."
OUTLINE OF SPEECH BY GOVERNOR FORAKER AT THE DEDICATION OF OHIO'S MONUMENT TO THE ANDREWS RAIDERS, AT CHATTANOOGA
Why this monument and this dedication. The story of the raid, the suffering of the raiders, and heroism of those who died.
The controversial part covered two points—the military value of the raid, and the manner in which the raiders had been treated by the enemy while prisoners.
The illustrative setting was the historic background of Chattanooga and the contrasts of war and peace.
OUTLINE OF ADDRESS BY CHAUNCEY M. DEPEW AT DINNER ON THE 70TH BIRTHDAY OF JOHN JAY
Not on the programme—pleasantry with Mr. Choate (President) about his railroad fees. Mr. Choate wants it made the rule for all ex-presidents of the club to have a dinner on their 70th birthday. This will help them to live at least that long, as Gladstone and Bismarck, when they had an object, have lived on in spite of the doctors!
Depew, a native of the same county as three generations of Jays. Services of the Revolutionary Jay.
The Anecdote.—General Sherman yesterday told a beautiful young girl—Generals always interested in beautiful young girls—that he would be willing to throw away all he was doing or had done to start at her time of life again. But the nation could not permit that, nor could it in the case of John Jay—closing words of tribute and esteem to the guest of the evening.
OUTLINE OF ADDRESS BY CHAUNCEY M. DEPEW AT THE RECEPTION TO HENRY M. STANLEY BY THE LOTUS CLUB
The speaker jests about his own locks whitened by the cares of railroading, and the raven hair of the reporters—where do they get their dye?
Stanley's lecture fee, $250.—Lotus Club gets one for only the price of a dinner!
Stanley a great artist in his descriptions as well as a great traveler.
Americans a nation of travelers.—This makes railroads prosperous! What some reporters have done.
The motive makes heroism.—Livingstone the missionary—his rescue by Stanley.
The civilized Africa of the future with Stanley for its Columbus.
Toast.—"The Religious Press and Literature."
First, what are sound views of literature; second, what is a religious paper? The speaker used two illustrations bound in one. A great book is the Nilometer which measures intellectual life as the original Nilometer measured the life and fertility of the land of Egypt. A description of the rise of the Nile and of theDivine Comedyof Dante, as such a measurer of the life of the Middle Ages, made up the speech.
Toast.—"Religious Press and Questions of the Day."
Eternity beginshere. The paper must show on which side of any question the right lies. It should go even further than this. It should cover a wider range of topics and aim to secure the attention of the general public to the questions it discusses and so entitle it to circulate more widely.
Toast.—"Should Religious Papers Make Money?"
If I may make the paying papers, anybody may make the others. Money losing—soon comes,hic jacet. Money making proves usefulness and renders the issue of a paper possible. Letter from the oldest editor of New York in which he says the editor is under life sentence to hard labor.
Toast.—"The Religious Paper and Scholarship."
He laments that he has no letter from an editor to read (like the last speaker), and tells a story of a Methodist, on request, praying for rain; and when a terrible storm came, the man who asked, was heard to murmur: "How these Methodists do exaggerate." This was to show the excellence of the dinner. Two other stories were used by the speaker, about the length and discursiveness of his talk. The people need and will read deep, accurate, and scholarly productions. There ought to be a general paper for such. Something has been done in that direction by two religious papers.
The speaker treated his topic by giving a semi-humorous review of the preceding speeches. He showed how denominational traits affected each item in the work of the paper. He did not make just the kind of a paperheliked best, for some people were of the same taste as Artemus Ward, who always orderedhashat a restaurant, because he then knew what he was getting! The speaker also referred ironically to the mistaken idea that church papers could not pay, and gave striking instances to the contrary. He concluded that denominational papers may be as successful in their line as those purely undenominational and independent.
1. The disasters which different ports of our country have experienced from invading forces during three great wars. No foe now on this continent which we need fear—our enemies, if any, will come by sea.
2. The defense by fortified harbors cannot be relied on, for when one place is defended another may be attacked, and the coast-line is so great that an unguarded spot may be found. But our glorious navy will seek the foe at any and every point.
3. Past glory of the Navy. Paul Jones in the Revolutionary War singeing John Bull's beard at his own fireside. 1812. The ships of iron that kept the Confederate States engirdled and forbade outside meddling with domestic troubles.
4. The Navy, by showing the world that we are impregnable, should be the best promoter of a solid peace.
RESPONSE TO THE TOAST, "GENERAL JACKSON: A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH, BUT A DIAMOND"
1. The hero of New Orleans, though rough, was a strong and great man. Stories about him always popular. His indorsing State papers "O.K." when he approved them, and saying that these letters meant "oll korrect." The victor and the spoils.
2. His connection with great questions, such as the currency and nullification. Popularity with his own party.
3. Proved to be a great commander by the manner in which he used his very slender resources at the battle of New Orleans—the backwoods riflemen and the breastworks of cotton.
RESPONSE TO THE TOAST, "THE WORKING MAN: MAY HE LOVE HIS WORK AND HAVE PLENTY OF IT, WITH GOOD WAGES PROMPTLY PAID"
1. For a healthy man a reasonable amount of work is no misfortune, but a blessing. Idleness is a curse, and leads to all kinds of evil. (See story in Anecdote No. 21 at end of this volume—of the tramp who earned seventy-five cents and quit work because he feared that he could not bear the curse of riches! Not many of us have this kind of fear.)
2. Toil with pen and brain as real, and may be as exhausting as with the hand and foot.
3. But to defraud a workman of one cent of his earnings is a peculiarly atrocious crime. How this may be done indirectly. All persons who believe in this toast should deal justly and fairly, and try to hold others to the same rule.
4. The true workman wants work and fair play; not patronage and flattery, but sympathy and friendship.
The great conventions that nominate candidates for the Presidency of the United States furnish examples on the largest scale of the nominating speech. But officers of societies of almost any character may be nominated in addresses that are very similar. The following outline of a speech of general character may be easily modified to suit any case in which such help is desired.
Mr. Chairman: It gives me great pleasure to place before you, the name of a candidate who is so well qualified and so fully deserving of this honor, and of every other, that may be conferred upon him, as ——. In giving him your votes, you can make no mistake. [Here state previous offices held, or trusts filled, or other evidences of fitness for the post in view.] In addition, I am happy to state that he represents [here name locality, section, class, or opinion, being careful to adduce only those which will be pleasing to the persons whose votes are sought.] On his behalf, I can promise faithful service, and the prompt discharge of every duty. Others may have as much zeal for the cause: some may have as long a training for the duties of this office; a few may possibly have as legitimate a claim upon any honors or rewards in your gift, but where else can you find such a combination of claims?
The illustrative anecdote will naturally be of the candidate himself, of his popularity, availability, or other good quality, or of some person or element strongly supporting him.
1. An honor of which any man must be deeply sensible as well as proud. The importance or high character of the body making the nomination.
2. The degree of surprise felt that the candidate should be preferred to so many worthy competitors. W by the honor is especially prized, and the reasons, if any; why the candidate would have preferred a different selection.
3. The motives which make him willing to bear the burdens entailed by this nomination.
4. The hope of being able to support his competitors for other offices, or other terms of this office.
5. With all his sense of unworthiness, the candidate dares not set up his judgment against that of the honorable body which has named him, for the office of ——, and he therefore bows to their decision and gratefully accepts the [unexpected?] honor conferred upon him. Should the people—not for his sake, but for the sake of the cause represented—have the intelligence and good judgment [of which there is not a shadow of doubt?] to indorse the nomination, he will exert all the power he possesses, to faithfully fill the position their choice has bestowed upon him.
No form of speech is so easy as a political address in a hot campaign. The people know enough of the general argument in advance, to appreciate a strong statement of it, or the addition of new items. They already have much of that interest in the theme that other classes of speakers must first seek to arouse. The tyro makes his feeble beginnings in the sparsely settled portions of the country, but the polished orator is welcomed by large audiences at the centres of population, and wins money, fame, and possibly a high office. Americans have many opportunities of hearing good speeches of this character, and not only become competent judges, but learn to emulate such examples.
1. A bright story, a personal incident, a local "hit," or, best of all, a quick, shrewd caricature of some feature of the opposing party, will gain attention and half win the battle. A speaker was once called upon to make an address after a political opponent had taken his seat. This man at one time strongly indorsed a measure to which his own party was bitterly opposed. The measure was defeated notwithstanding his opposition, and he was obliged to sanction his party's action. The audience being familiar with this, the speaker referred to it by saying: "Oh!heapproves, does he! Imagine a kicked, cuffed, pounded, and dragged across a road, bracing himself at every step, but forced over at last and tied to a post; then imaginethat mulestraightening himself up and saying, 'Thank Heaven, we crossed that road, didn't we?' It was difficult to move the mule, he was obstinate, but it made no difference. My opponent was obstinate too, but what did it avail!"
2. The criticism of our opponents' platform or principles. Their fallacies, mistakes, and misrepresentations.
3. Their history. How they have carried out all their bad and dangerous doctrines, but have slurred over and allowed to drop out of sight their promises of good.
4. The contrast. Plain statement [and there is nothing more effective in a speech than a plain, dear, and condensed statement] of the opposing issues.
5. The man. [The personal element in a canvas nearly always overshadows political doctrine, except when a new party or new measure is rising into prominence.] Our men brilliant, able, safe. Our opponents the opposite. [Public character only should be criticized. Gossip, scandal, slander are abominable, and seldom well received by any audience. Poison, the assassin's dagger, and the spreading of infamous stories do not belong to honorable warfare.]
1. We are masters of the field. Completeness of victory [told in military language].
2. Sympathy for the defeated. We will treat their leaders with Good Samaritan generosity, but we invite the rank and file to enlist with us, unless they prefer to go home and pray for better luck next time.
3. Only by joining us can they get a nibble at the spoils. Probably they will, for many of them are men of seven principles—five loaves and two fishes. The "cohesive power of public plunder."
4. We must not be careless after victory, but reorganize, be vigilant, keep our powder dry. The "outs" are hungry, and an enemy will fight terribly for rations. "Brag is a good dog, but Holdfast is a better."
5. Now let us all rejoice over the defeat of a party many of whose members we respect personally, but which, as a whole, we regard as an immense nuisance.
My Political Brethren: You seem to be in the dumps! Don't like the figures; wish they were a cunningly devised fable. How did it happen? Big vote and intolerable cheating cooked our goose. But we are india-rubber and steel springs, and no amount of hard usage can take the fight out of us.
Let our opponents laugh! We are not savage—would not hurt a hair of their heads personally, but politically will skin them alive next time. But we prefer to convert them, and hope they will hear our speakers as often as possible before the next election.
At a public meeting some one interested in the object for which it has convened calls the assembly to order. After securing attention he proposes the name of some person as chairman or president. When the nomination is seconded he takes the vote and announces the election. It will then be in order for the person chosen to take a position facing the assembly and to make a brief speech.
"Ladies and Gentlemen: I have no wish to disparage your judgment, although I think it might have been exercised to better advantage by electing some of the able persons I see before me. But I thank you for this honor, which I appreciate the more highly and accept the more readily because of say deep interest in the question of ——, which is now before us. First, however, please nominate a secretary."
When, however, the president or chairman elected is himself a prime mover in the business for which the meeting is called, it will be perfectly proper for him to extend his speech, upon accepting the chair, by stating clearly but briefly the object of the meeting; or, if he prefers, he may ask some one in whose powers of plausible and persuasive statement he has confidence to do this in his place. Formal argument is not advisable in the opening speech; but the best argument consists in giving a compact statement and ample information. In this way the cause may be half won by the chairman's speech or the speech of his proxy.
The Introduction. The speaker's modesty or inability, the lateness of the hour, the merit of preceding speeches, the literary treats that are to follow, the character of the dinner, personal allusion to the president or to the audience—but not all of these in one address.
The Discussion. Here refer to the toast or theme—be sure to put in a humorous anecdote. Make it as appropriate as possible, but don't fail to bring it in. Get up a short controversy: set up a man of straw if you can find nobody else, and then make an onslaught upon him; butbe sure he has no friends in the audience!
Conclusion. A graceful compliment to some one, a reference to an expected speaker, or a word indicating the part of your subject of which you will not treat, or give averyquick summary of what you have already said.