Business Department
There is hardly a day but we receive from one to half a dozen letters from our subscribers telling us how they appreciate Trotwood’s Monthly and Trotwood. His stories seem to please the people, and they are all loud in their praise, but we do not recall having received anything of a complimentary nature regarding his writing—with a pen. We often have to translate some of his letters for people who fall down when they try to read them, but the following letter written to Mr. Sterling C. Brewer, principal of the Link School, Thomasville, Tenn., seems to hold the record:
The above is a facsimile of the letter written by Trotwood.
Mr. Brewer writes as follows.
“When I received Trotwood’s letter I saw at once that it was a rather a tough proposition, and I turned it over to one of my pupils for translation. She called her chum and they studied it very diligently for awhile, and to make sure that none of it escaped, wrote it down, and it came to me in a small vertical hand as plain as print:
“‘Dr. M. Braver:“‘I struck pie 10 inches. Pretty if clean and well done of a jay man. I’d like to charge it some after meat. It would make a snake sweat trying to propel hayseed. I shall snatch and extract a pin from prim hind legs (calling no man). Jim Wren is in Grotmood exactly.“‘Hoplood towhit to whoo“‘Fleetwood,“‘TOBE PALMWOOD MANN.’
“‘Dr. M. Braver:
“‘I struck pie 10 inches. Pretty if clean and well done of a jay man. I’d like to charge it some after meat. It would make a snake sweat trying to propel hayseed. I shall snatch and extract a pin from prim hind legs (calling no man). Jim Wren is in Grotmood exactly.
“‘Hoplood towhit to whoo
“‘Fleetwood,
“‘TOBE PALMWOOD MANN.’
“I then turned it over to another pupilthat would eagerly chase an obscure fact through a whole set of the Encyclopedia Britannica, and here is her translation:
“‘Dr. Bu Brur:“‘I drank the 10 March. Poetry is clean swell done for a gay man. I take to change it some of the time too. It would make a great old hash story of the Prophet Daniel. I shall snatch an extra pen point if it aint better (calm no man) Jno Der is Trotword exactly. Hoeneald to meet you by and by“‘Fretfully yours,
“‘Dr. Bu Brur:
“‘I drank the 10 March. Poetry is clean swell done for a gay man. I take to change it some of the time too. It would make a great old hash story of the Prophet Daniel. I shall snatch an extra pen point if it aint better (calm no man) Jno Der is Trotword exactly. Hoeneald to meet you by and by
“‘Fretfully yours,
“She fell down on the signature, but said it looked like some kind of a Woodbine, but she wasn’t sure about it.”
We see nothing out of the ordinary about this letter, and can truthfully say that it is a great improvement over some of the “copy” Trotwood sends in. The letter is plain enough, and reads as follows:
“Dear Mr. Brewer:“I thank you so much. The story is clean and well done for a young man. I’d like to change it some if I use it. It would make a great Old Wash story if properly handled. I shall quote an extract from your letter (calling no names). Your idea is Trotwood’s exactly. Hoping to meet you some day,“Faithfully yours“JOHN TROTWOOD MOORE.”
“Dear Mr. Brewer:
“I thank you so much. The story is clean and well done for a young man. I’d like to change it some if I use it. It would make a great Old Wash story if properly handled. I shall quote an extract from your letter (calling no names). Your idea is Trotwood’s exactly. Hoping to meet you some day,
“Faithfully yours
“JOHN TROTWOOD MOORE.”
We have a letter from a gentleman living in Montana as follows:
“Gentlemen: I have just learned that your magazine has been started through my niece.”
“Gentlemen: I have just learned that your magazine has been started through my niece.”
We are extremely sorry, and hope the young lady will suffer no ill effects, but we do not see that we are to blame, as we did not tell her to do it. We have no clubbing arrangements with other publications, but in this case we would recommend a copy of the Literary Digest.