Seb. So comes it Lady, you haue beene mistooke:But Nature to her bias drew in that.You would haue bin contracted to a Maid,Nor are you therein (by my life) deceiu'd,You are betroth'd both to a maid and man
Du. Be not amaz'd, right noble is his blood:If this be so, as yet the glasse seemes true,I shall haue share in this most happy wracke,Boy, thou hast saide to me a thousand times,Thou neuer should'st loue woman like to me
Vio. And all those sayings, will I ouer sweare,And all those swearings keepe as true in soule,As doth that Orbed Continent, the fire,That seuers day from night
Du. Giue me thy hand,And let me see thee in thy womans weedes
Vio. The Captaine that did bring me first on shoreHath my Maides garments: he vpon some ActionIs now in durance, at Maluolio's suite,a Gentleman, and follower of my Ladies
Ol. He shall inlarge him: fetch Maluolio hither,And yet alas, now I remember me,They say poore Gentleman, he's much distract.Enter Clowne with a Letter, and Fabian.
A most extracting frensie of mine owne From my remembrance, clearly banisht his. How does he sirrah? Cl. Truely Madam, he holds Belzebub at the staues end as well as a man in his case may do: has heere writ a letter to you, I should haue giuen't you to day morning. But as a madmans Epistles are no Gospels, so it skilles not much when they are deliuer'd
Ol. Open't, and read it
Clo. Looke then to be well edified, when the Fooledeliuers the Madman. By the Lord Madam
Ol. How now, art thou mad?Clo. No Madam, I do but reade madnesse: and yourLadyship will haue it as it ought to bee, you must allowVox
Ol. Prethee reade i'thy right wits
Clo. So I do Madona: but to reade his right wits, is to reade thus: therefore, perpend my Princesse, and giue eare
Ol. Read it you, sirrah
Fab. Reads. By the Lord Madam, you wrong me, and the world shall know it: Though you haue put mee into darkenesse, and giuen your drunken Cosine rule ouer me, yet haue I the benefit of my senses as well as your Ladieship. I haue your owne letter, that induced mee to the semblance I put on; with the which I doubt not, but to do my selfe much right, or you much shame: thinke of me as you please. I leaue my duty a little vnthought of, and speake out of my iniury. The madly vs'd Maluolio
Ol. Did he write this?Clo. I Madame
Du. This sauours not much of distraction
Ol. See him deliuer'd Fabian, bring him hither:My Lord, so please you, these things further thought on,To thinke me as well a sister, as a wife,One day shall crowne th' alliance on't, so please you,Heere at my house, and at my proper cost
Du. Madam, I am most apt t' embrace your offer:Your Master quits you: and for your seruice done him,So much against the mettle of your sex,So farre beneath your soft and tender breeding,And since you call'd me Master, for so long:Heere is my hand, you shall from this time beeYour Masters Mistris
Ol. A sister, you are she.Enter Maluolio.
Du. Is this the Madman?Ol. I my Lord, this same: How now Maluolio?Mal. Madam, you haue done me wrong,Notorious wrong
Ol. Haue I Maluolio? No
Mal. Lady you haue, pray you peruse that Letter.You must not now denie it is your hand,Write from it if you can, in hand, or phrase,Or say, tis not your seale, not your inuention:You can say none of this. Well, grant it then,And tell me in the modestie of honor,Why you haue giuen me such cleare lights of fauour,Bad me come smiling, and crosse-garter'd to you,To put on yellow stockings, and to frowneVpon sir Toby, and the lighter people:And acting this in an obedient hope,Why haue you suffer'd me to be imprison'd,Kept in a darke house, visited by the Priest,And made the most notorious gecke and gull,That ere inuention plaid on? Tell me why?Ol. Alas Maluolio, this is not my writing,Though I confesse much like the Charracter:But out of question, tis Marias hand.And now I do bethinke me, it was sheeFirst told me thou wast mad; then cam'st in smiling,And in such formes, which heere were presuppos'dVpon thee in the Letter: prethee be content,This practice hath most shrewdly past vpon thee:But when we know the grounds, and authors of it,Thou shalt be both the Plaintiffe and the IudgeOf thine owne cause
Fab. Good Madam heare me speake,And let no quarrell, nor no braule to come,Taint the condition of this present houre,Which I haue wondred at. In hope it shall not,Most freely I confesse my selfe, and TobySet this deuice against Maluolio heere,Vpon some stubborne and vncourteous partsWe had conceiu'd against him. Maria writThe Letter, at sir Tobyes great importance,In recompence whereof, he hath married her:How with a sportfull malice it was follow'd,May rather plucke on laughter then reuenge,If that the iniuries be iustly weigh'd,That haue on both sides past
Ol. Alas poore Foole, how haue they baffel'd thee? Clo. Why some are borne great, some atchieue greatnesse, and some haue greatnesse throwne vpon them. I was one sir, in this Enterlude, one sir Topas sir, but that's all one: By the Lord Foole, I am not mad: but do you remember, Madam, why laugh you at such a barren rascall, and you smile not he's gag'd: and thus the whirlegigge of time, brings in his reuenges
Mal. Ile be reueng'd on the whole packe of you?Ol. He hath bene most notoriously abus'd
Du. Pursue him, and entreate him to a peace:He hath not told vs of the Captaine yet,When that is knowne, and golden time conuentsA solemne Combination shall be madeOf our deere soules. Meane time sweet sister,We will not part from hence. Cesario come(For so you shall be while you are a man:)But when in other habites you are seene,Orsino's Mistris, and his fancies Queene.
Exeunt.
Clowne sings . When that I was and a little tine boy, with hey, ho, the winde and the raine: A foolish thing was but a toy, for the raine it raineth euery day. But when I came to mans estate, with hey ho, &c. Gainst Knaues and Theeues men shut their gate, for the raine, &c. But when I came alas to wiue, with hey ho, &c. By swaggering could I neuer thriue, for the raine, &c. But when I came vnto my beds, with hey ho, &c. With tospottes still had drunken heades, for the raine, &c. A great while ago the world begon, hey ho, &c. But that's all one, our Play is done, and wee'l striue to please you euery day.
FINIS. Twelfe Night, Or what you will.