A KICKER AND SQUEALER
One of them stopped, and said; "Wait a minute. I heard a noise under the bridge."
At this they both stopped, and, as we supposed, were about to make an investigation, when I dropped the reins, and raising my hands to my mouth, made a noise like the bellowing of a "critter." One of them said:
"Oh, come on. It's nothing but a —— old cow!"
They then started across the bridge, greatly to our relief and satisfaction.
After a few moments' delay we returned to the cross-roads, and started south, traveling but a short distance when we again turned west.
We now began to realize that they were making it quite lively for us, and decided to sell the whole rig at any price.
We drove to within about a mile of Norwalk, when I alighted and walked into the town for the purpose of finding a buyer.
Frank drove to a small inland town eight miles south of Norwalk, where I agreed to meet him the next day.
The following morning I met a middle-aged gentleman on the streets, and asked him if there were any horse-buyers in town. He asked what kind of horses I had for sale. I told him I only had one, and gave a description of the animal.
He said he was buying horses, and would drive out with me and see if we could deal.
He hitched up a pair of horses, and taking another gentleman with us, started south. Upon arriving at our destination, we found Frank quartered at a nice country hotel.
The two men looked our whole outfit over, scrutinizing it very closely, and showed no signs of wanting to buy, and did not even ask our price.
I then said:
"Gentlemen, we will sell you this whole rig cheap, if you wish it."
Finally, after I had repeated several times that I would sell it dirt-cheap, the old gentleman ventured to ask what I considered cheap?
"Well, sir," said I, "you can have the whole outfit for twelve hundred dollars."
"Great Heavens!" he exclaimed. "Do you call that cheap?"
"Well," I answered, "you needn't buy unless you want to."
They then drove off, when I said:
"Frank, those men have had a full description of us and our rig, and we'd better skip."
Frank said he had a trade about worked up with the landlord's father, who lived three miles from there. He wanted to trade a fine horse for our carriage, and thought it best to take our chances of staying to close it up.
After dinner the landlord accompanied us to his father's farm. We had to travel one mile west and two north. On our way there, and about a half mile from town, we had a conversation with a young farmer acquaintance of the landlord, who said if we didn't make a deal as we expected, he would give us a trade of some kind on our way back. On reaching the farm we found a handsome four-year-old colt unbroken, but as we could see, a valuable animal.
We traded our carriage for it and a cheap saddle and bridle. When we came to look the carriage over we found an iron brace broken, and the bargain was, that we were to take it back to town and pay for getting it repaired, and then leave it in care of the landlord.
We started back, the landlord and myself walking and leading the colt, while Frank drove our horse and buggy.
When we reached the young farmer's place above-mentioned, he came out to the gate; and after we were several rods past the house, called to the landlord, who went back.
I noticed that the farmer talked in a very loud tone till the landlord got close to him, when he then spoke very low.
Just then Frank came driving up, when I said:
"There's something in the wind. I'll bet that farmer has talked with some one since we went up there, who has told him about the patent-right deal."
I then explained the actions of the farmer. Frank said it did look a little suspicious, but thought it might possibly be a mistake. As a matter of caution Frank drove on to the hotel, where he unhitched the horse, and prepared tostart on horseback as soon as we arrived with the colt, which I was to ride.
A FOUR MILE CHASE
As soon as the landlord returned to where I was, he showed considerable anxiety and nervousness, which convinced me more than ever that I was correct in my surmises.
He talked but little, on our way to the hotel. When we arrived there his wife came out and had a private talk with him, I then said:
"Well, landlord, we will allow you one dollar for the carriage repairs and you can have it done yourself."
At that I reached out for the halter-strap, to take possession of the colt.
"Well, see here," said he, excitedly, "there is something wrong. Two men have been here looking for you."
"Where are they?" I asked.
"Well," said he, "they have no doubt gone one mile too far west, in trying to get to my father's farm, and have missed us."
I stepped to the middle of the road, and looking west, saw in the distance a team with two men coming. I called for Frank to hitch up again, at once, fully realizing the uselessness of trying to take the colt and leave the buggy, andthat there was no time to argue or explain matters to the satisfaction of the landlord.
When I had paid our hotel bill, and gotten the valise containing ourshirts—(which we clung to with a bull-dog tenacity, owing to our late shirtless experience)—I hurried to the barn, where I found Frank had the horse between the shafts, and we hitched him up in a space of time that would have done credit to an expert Fire-engine Company.
Only one side of the shafts was supported by the harness, and we did not stop to fasten the hold-back straps, nor to put the lines through the terret, nor tie the hitching strap. But the instant the traces were fastened and the lines were in the buggy, we jumped in, and none too soon, either, for just as we turned our horse in the road the two men came driving around the corner. We started south, with our horse on a dead run and under the whip, followed by them with their horses under full speed, and also under the whip.
The race was indeed exciting, on a Macadamized road as smooth and hard as a floor. I drove, using the whip freely, while Frank stood up in the carriage, facing the men, swinging his hat and yelling like a wild Indian. They kept upthe chase for about four miles, we making a turn at every cross-road, first west then south, and kept it up till we saw they were slacking their gait, when we also gave our horse a rest.
We then proceeded west, driving till very late that night, and arriving at the house of a farmer acquaintance of mine, five miles from Clyde, about midnight. I called him up and explained matters. He said we should put the horse in the barn, and stay with him two or three days, till we saw how things were.
We told him that his neighbors would very soon learn that he had a horse and carriage there, and would necessarily have to have an explanation as to the ownership.
We then suggested putting the whole rig, horse and all, into the cellar, which we did; and then remained there three days, eating spring chickens and new potatoes. We paid our friend's wife three dollars per day for keeping us and our horse, besides fifty cents apiece for young chickens which were about one-third grown. This was twenty-five cents more than she could have gotten for them had she kept them till they were full grown. Yet she worried a great deal about killing off her young chickens. Every time shecooked one for us she would declare that she didn't believe it paid, and she wouldn't kill any more till they grew to full size.
We undertook to argue her out of the idea, by showing how many bushels of corn each chicken would eat before fall, and the low price it would bring at that time.
She said: "It didn't make any difference. Common sense taught her that a chicken wasn't worth as much when it was one-third grown as when full grown, and she didn't care to sell us any more."
VISITING MY FAMILY AT ELMORE—HOW WE FOOLED A DETECTIVE—A FRIEND IN NEED—ARRIVING AT SWANTON, OHIO, BROKE—HOW I MADE A RAISE—DISGUISING MY HORSE WITH A COAT OF PAINT—CAPTURED AT TOLEDO—SELLING MY HORSE—ARRIVED HOME BROKE.
VISITING MY FAMILY AT ELMORE—HOW WE FOOLED A DETECTIVE—A FRIEND IN NEED—ARRIVING AT SWANTON, OHIO, BROKE—HOW I MADE A RAISE—DISGUISING MY HORSE WITH A COAT OF PAINT—CAPTURED AT TOLEDO—SELLING MY HORSE—ARRIVED HOME BROKE.
Three days later I borrowed a saddle and started on horseback toward the west, leaving Frank to dispose of the buggy and harness.
I returned to Elmore the second night out, about nine o'clock. After putting my horse out, called at the hotel to visit my wife and see the boy.
The next day, while we were sitting in our room, the landlord, Mr. Hineline, came up, saying that a detective was down in the office, or at least a man claiming to be one, making all sort of inquiries about us.
I instructed the landlord, who was a sharp, shrewd little gentleman, how to act and what tosay, and instructed my wife to enclose a letter in an envelope, and, after addressing it "J. P. Johnston, Mt. Vernon, O. If not called for in 5 days forward to Columbus; if not called for in 5 days forward to Dayton," she slipped down to the office and asked the landlord to please mail it for her. He carelessly laid it down on the desk near the detective, who lost no time in jotting down the full directions.
The last we saw of him he had bought a ticket and was taking the first train for Mt. Vernon.
In a couple of days I started towards the west.
I came very near making two or three horse-trades, and no doubt would have succeeded, if I hadn't felt every minute that some one was going to swoop down upon me, and capture me and my horse.
I didn't feel as if I ought to stop a minute anywhere. I could look ahead to certain places where I thought no detective on earth could discover me till I could make a deal; but when I would reach there I invariably felt the same as at all other places, and was constantly on the alert watching the corners, which alone was enough for any one man to busy himself at.
I arrived the following Sunday at GrandRapids, Ohio, a small town on the Maumee River, and also on a canal. I put my horse up, and took dinner at the hotel; after which a very hard-looking character, claiming to have lost all his money gambling with his chums, the river men, stepped up to me in the barn and asked if I would give him money to pay for his dinner.
"Certainly," I said, handing him twenty-five cents, saying, as I did so, "I'll give you half of all I possess." He thanked me, and said:
"Say, you're a gentleman, and I'll give you a pointer: There's an officer here after you."
That was all he had to say. I then said:
"Here, help saddle and bridle my horse, quick!"
He did so, and helped me to mount, and with a long stick which he picked up, struck my horse across the hip and yelled:
"Now you're all right!" as I passed out on a full gallop. Just as I was leaving the barn I heard a voice cry out:
"Stop that man! Stop that man!"
"Go it, you son-of-a-gun!" my new friend yelled; and I did "go it."
I steered my course toward Swanton, arriving there that night, with just twenty-five cents in my pocket.
I had an old friend living there who was a painter by trade, besides numerous acquaintances. It will be remembered that it was at this same town I had resigned my position as Telegraph operator a few years before.
I very soon called on my old landlord, who gave me a hearty welcome. After putting my horse out, I settled down for the night.
The next morning I called on my friend, who had just finished a job of painting, but could not collect his bill at once, and being a little short himself, was unable to assist me.
I asked if he had a good credit there, and he replied that he could buy anything he wanted on time.
I then asked if he could hire a horse and buggy on those terms, and he said he could.
"Well then, you come to a drug store with me and we will buy some patent medicine, or something that we can sell to the farmers, and we will travel through the country with your hired rig, leading my horse behind, and peddle from house to house on our way to Adrian, Mich., where I can possibly sell my horse, and you can then return home."
He then suggested that it would be a goodscheme to take a pot of copal varnish and brush along, and take jobs of the farmers to varnish pieces of furniture, charging a certain price for each piece.
"Well," said I, "why not sell them the varnish, and let them do the work themselves?"
"But they can buy all the varnish they want right here where we buy it."
"That's true," I answered, "but they can't buyourkind atanydrug store."
He laughed, and said he guessed I'd find people in that country up to the times.
"Very well, then, so much the better, if they are, for they'll want something new; and I don't think there has been any one along selling them ounce bottles of copal varnish for fifty cents!"
No, he said he hadn't heard of any one doing so, and didn't think it could be done.
I insisted it could be done.
We then called on the druggist, who had plenty of varnish, but only four empty bottles in stock.
We got a tin pail, and bought one gallon of varnish and the four bottles.
The druggist exhibited some brushes, saying we would have to use one to apply the varnish while showing it up.
"No, thank you," I replied. "All I want is a piece of Canton flannel. It won't do to apply it with a brush. I understand your people here are up with the times. If so, they want something new."
He said he thought it extremely new to apply varnish with a cloth.
We started immediately after dinner, and commenced operations one mile out of town.
The very first house we stopped at—and an old log one, at that—I sold the lady three bottles for one dollar, one each for herself, her mother and her sister.
When I delivered them out of my coat pocket (we had no valise or sample case), I said to her:
"Madam, I put up this preparation myself, and I have run short of bottles. Can't you empty the polish into something else and let me retain these?"
"Certainly," she answered, and stepping to the pantry, she opened the door, when I noticed several bottles on the shelf.
"Now, I'll tell you what I'll do. I will trade you some more of my preparation for a few of those bottles."
"All right. It's a trade."
I returned to the buggy loaded down with bottles of all sizes, shapes and colors, and a dollar bill, which looked the size of a barn door to both of us.
I then carried our pail of varnish into the house and paid her liberally for the bottles.
I called at every house thereafter, and never missed making a sale till the eighth was reached, when the old lady declared emphatically that she didn't have fifty cents in the house.
Then I asked if she had any eggs. She said she had.
"Very well; I'll allow you twenty cents per dozen for them, but you must give me an old box of some kind to put them in."
She was anxious to trade, and when I started off with two and one-half dozen, she said she believed I might have the other five dozen if I'd give her two more bottles. I accommodated her, and as I left she said she was sorry John hadn't gathered the eggs the night before, so she could let me have more of them, as I was paying more than they had been getting.
I told her I'd wait while she gathered them.
She started to do so, but suddenly changed her mind, saying she thought I had sold her enough of my patent staff, anyhow.
When I rejoined my new partner and friend he was delighted, and asked why I didn't trade for the chickens.
We met with flattering success, making frequent trades as well as many cash sales. Among other trades was one I made with a lady for a sheep-pelt. Although I had not dealt in them since my early experience, I ventured to make an offer of one bottle of my preparation, which was accepted.
We staid that night with a German farmer, who looked suspiciously at our extra horse; and when we retired to a little six-by-eight room, way up in the garret, he took the pains to lock us in.
My partner said he guessed the old Dutchman took us for horse-thieves.
"Well," I answered, "I guess he will take us for wholesale varnish peddlers before I get through with him."
The next morning, after we were liberated, I began at once to ingratiate myself in the confidence of the old lady, in order to effect a sale.
Immediately after breakfast I introduced the patent furniture lustre, and before I had half finished my story the old lady cried out:
"I take 'em, I take 'em; how much?"
I then said:
"How much do I owe you?"
"How many oats did your horses eat?"
"Oh, about a bushel."
"One dollar," she said.
"Very well," said I, "my price is one dollar, but you have been very kind to lock us up for the night, and I'll give you two bottles for your trouble."
Before leaving, I traded her some extra lustre for some empty bottles; and this plan I kept up during the day.
We arrived at Blissfield, Mich., where we disposed of our eggs at ten cents per dozen, and realized forty cents for the sheep-pelt, after which we replenished our stock of varnish.
I had now become more interested in my new business than in the sale of my horse; and concluded to abandon the trip to Adrian, and return to Swanton, where I could dissolve partnership with my friend, and continue the business alone, on horseback if necessary.
On our return trip to Swanton I continued to trade for eggs, where customers were short of cash; and one lady said she couldn't understand how I could afford to pay twenty cents per dozen when the market price was but ten cents.
"Well, madam, you see, that's the trick of the trade."
"But," said she, "the merchant we deal with is as tricky as any one; but he won't pay only ten cents a dozen for eggs."
"Yes," I answered, "and he makes you take groceries and dry goods for them, too, while I give you something you need in exchange for them."
She said, "That's so."
When we returned to Swanton we had nearly twenty dollars in cash, and that many dollars' worth of stock on hand at retail price.
I now felt very anxious to sell my horse, as my patent-right experience was quite sufficient to convince me that such a business was no business at all.
My horse was a handsome dapple grey, and my friend said he could paint him a dark color, and so completely disguise him that no man could detect him.
I suggested that it might also be a good idea to paint me, or at least my auburn hair.
He said he wouldn't undertake that job, but he knew he could fix the horse.
"Very well," said I, "go ahead and paint him."
He did so, and a first-class job it was.
I then started for Toledo on horse-back, but before I had traveled far, was caught in a heavy rain-storm. I hitched my horse in front of a school-house and went inside for shelter, by permission of the teacher.
The rain continued for about two hours, and when I returned to my horse he was absolutely the homeliest and oddest-colored brute I ever saw. The paint had run down his legs in streaks, and had formed a combination of colors more easily imagined than described. On arriving at Toledo I put my horse in a sale stable and ordered him to be sold.
The proprietor looked us both over with much suspicion, and asked from which direction I had come.
"From the west, sir," I answered.
"From the far west?" he still further inquired.
"You'd think so, if you'd followed me," I replied.
"Well, what in the d——l ails your horse?"
"Well, sir, he fell in the Chicago River," was my answer.
Stepping to the animal, he rubbed his fingers over the rough, sticky hair, and then placing them to his nose, said:——
"Don't smell bad,—looks's though he'd been dyed."
"Well, I wish to —— he'd died before I ever saw him."
Upon registering at a hotel to await results, I met an old acquaintance who was boarding there, and explained to him my predicament.
He said he didn't think I would ever be able to sell my horse with all that daub on him, unless I explained just how I had traded for him. I replied that to make a full statement would surely result in a writ of replevin being served and the horse being taken from me.
A couple of days later, my friend came rushing into the hotel and informed me that two men, one a policeman, were at the barn carefully scrutinizing the horse.
I waited a few moments, when I walked leisurely to the barn, and after paying for his keeping, ordered him saddled, and immediately started out on the jump. Just as I passed from the barn I noticed a man coming on the run towards me. I put spurs to the animal, when the man yelled, "Halt! halt!" but I wasn't halting, and kept on down the street, looking back at the gentleman as my horse sped rapidly along.
He then yelled: "Stop that man! stop that man!"
STOP THAT MAN! STOP THAT MAN
I kept looking back, and had just begun to congratulate myself on my success, when suddenly my horse came to a full stop, and I landed forward astride his neck, hanging on by his mane. I then discovered a large policeman holding him by the bit.
I dismounted, and as the gentleman who had been running behind came up to where we were, the police officer said to him:
"Mr. Cavanaugh, what shall I do with the horse?"
"Take him back to the stable, for the time being," was the answer.
I then said:
"I now recognize you as the gentleman and detective whom I was introduced to a few weeks ago by an acquaintance from Bronson, Mich., at which place I believe you formerly resided, and where I married my wife."
"Sure enough," he answered. "Your wife and I were school children together. Johnston is your name."
"Yes, sir."
"Well, great Heavens! you're no horse-thief!"
"Well, who in thunder said I was? I am sure I never said so," was my reply.
"What have you painted this horse for?" he inquired.
"Well, I guess I'll have to tell you privately," I answered.
We then walked along together, and I explained everything.
"Well, this case," said he, "has been reported to the Captain of Police; and I guess you'd better go over to his office and explain matters, and a note from him to the proprietor of the sale-stable will help you to dispose of the horse."
We visited the Captain, to whom I explained, and as proof of my statement produced my papers and some newspaper clippings.
The Captain said if I was sleek enough to trade a lightning-rod agent out of a horse with a patent right, I ought to be pensioned. He said he'd send word to the stable-man that it was all right, which I suppose he did. At any rate, I sold out to the proprietor inside of an hour.
I then decided to go immediately to Findlay and see what grounds they had for wanting to arrest us.
On arriving there I spent about three hours intrying to find an officer who would recognize me, and possibly place me under arrest. Not successful in this, I looked for and found an officer, with whom I managed to get into conversation, and was obliged to tell him plainly who I was, before he would "take a tumble," as the saying is.
He then said he knew all about the trade, and was acquainted with the men, and the circumstances of their offering the reward.
"Well, now," said I, "you arrest me, and we'll get the reward."
"But," said he, "the men you traded with have left town."
I asked if he knew why they had offered a reward for us.
He said it was because the Patentee had arrived on the scene the day after our trade, and had remarked that Johnston had no authority to deed away territory in his patent; for the reason that the Power of Attorney had a clause in it which read as follows: "This Power of Attorney is revocable in thirty days from the day it is given by the said Patentee." They then concluded to try and arrest us, and if successful possibly make us pay handsomely, or prosecute us.
This bit of information was relished by me,for I at once saw that the Patentee had gotten things badly mixed. The clause he referred to, which was the one mentioned in another chapter, read as follows: "This Power of Attorney is revocable on thirty days' notice from the said Patentee."
Having satisfied myself, and several acquaintances of the men we had dealt with, that we had not violated the law, I returned to Toledo, where I met Frank, who had disposed of the carriage and harness.
He left me there; and one evening at the supper table I entered into conversation with several gentlemen, one of whom related a few incidents of his experience, when I also related my late experience in selling copal varnish.
An old gentleman across the table from me then said that he had a recipe for making a furniture and piano polish that was immense. He said it would leave a beautiful hard lustre, was not sticky or gummy to the fingers, and would remove all white stains from furniture, and become perfectly dry in less than one minute from the time it was applied.
"Well, sir," I said, "I am looking for some thing of that kind, and——"
"Very well," he interrupted; "it will cost you twenty-five dollars."
I said: "I'll you five dollars before testing it."
"No, sir; not one dollar less than my price."
But he would make up a small bottle, and show me how it worked. He did so, and I was at once convinced.
I then dickered a while with him, and after satisfying myself that I could buy it for no less than his price, purchased it; and have always considered it a good investment. An Incorporated Manufacturing Company of this city now use the same recipe, supplying agents in all parts of the country.
I immediately visited Elmore, where my wife and boy still remained. After paying their board and a doctor's bill for the boy, I took a run down to Clyde, arriving there "broke."
I had a long talk with my folks, and explained "just how it all happened."
My mother said she thought I had made a splendid record for a boy with a family.
Mr. Keefer said, "It did beat the devil."
MR. KEEFER CALLED FROM HOME—MY MOTHER REFUSES ME A LOAN—PEDDLING FURNITURE POLISH ON FOOT—HAVING MY FORTUNE TOLD—MY TRIP THROUGH MICHIGAN—ARRESTED FOR SELLING WITHOUT LICENSE—"IT NEVER RAINS BUT IT POURS"—COLLAPSED—A GOOD MORAL—MAKING A RAISE.
MR. KEEFER CALLED FROM HOME—MY MOTHER REFUSES ME A LOAN—PEDDLING FURNITURE POLISH ON FOOT—HAVING MY FORTUNE TOLD—MY TRIP THROUGH MICHIGAN—ARRESTED FOR SELLING WITHOUT LICENSE—"IT NEVER RAINS BUT IT POURS"—COLLAPSED—A GOOD MORAL—MAKING A RAISE.
I remained at home but a day or two, during which time Mr. Keefer was called away on business, leaving my mother and myself to discuss the future together. I told her of my varnish experience, and about my recipe for the piano and furniture polish, and assured her that I had made a firm resolution never to sell another patent right.
She said she was glad to hear that, as it had worried her night and day during the whole time I was in that business.
I then suggested that she loan me money enough to invest in a few bottles of polish.
"Not one cent, sir."
"Well," said I, "it won't take but about—"
"No matter," she interrupted, "if it won't take but ten cents you will not get it from me. You have had the last cent from us you will ever get."
I remarked that I was sorry pa had gone away.
She said it wouldn't matter, anyhow, for she had laid down the law to him, and he would never let me have another dollar.
"Well," I asked, "won't you give me money enough to get out of town?"
"No, sir; if five cents would take you to California, you should walk it before I'd give you that amount."
I then asked if she didn't think I was getting in rather close quarters?
"Well," she exclaimed, "you have always been determined to 'hus'le,' so now keep 'hus'ling.'"
I then called on an old friend whom I had been owing for several years, and after explaining my circumstances, borrowed three dollars, with which I repaired to a drug store and procured a stock of ingredients and bottles required for my Furniture and Piano Polish.
I then returned home, and after explaining to my mother that it would take till the next day to prepare it, asked her if she would care if I staid at her house one more night.
She laughed, and said she guessed she could stand it that long.
I then said:
"By gracious, you will have to give me money enough to get to the next town, for I won't dare commence peddling polish where I am acquainted."
"Indeed I'll not give you a penny, even though you have to commence at our next-door neighbor's," she answered.
The next day, when my bottles were filled ready for a start, I discovered that I had no valise.
My mother said I could have that old carpet-bag that I took to New York when I was a boy, and which had been expressed back to me with my old clothes. I told her I thought it would be about what I needed, but if she had the slightest idea she could sell it, or would ever need it to make me a visit in the far west when I got rich, that I might possibly get along without it.
She said I could rest assured that she wasn't quite so hard up as to be obliged to sell it, and if she had to wait for me to get rich before using it, she probably would never have occasion to do so.
I then visited the garret, where my mother said I would find the old bag.
As I entered the dark, gloomy place, my vision encountered innumerable relics of my past life, in the shape of toys, books, papers, skates cart-wheels, pieces of hobby-horses, and remnants of garments made by my mother and worn by me years before.
I thought of the days gone by, and the many pleasant hours I had spent at the old farm house. While I was occupied with play and enjoyment, my mother busying herself with family cares, and endeavoring to draw from me my ideas of the business or profession I would adopt when I reached manhood.
There flitted through my mind the many kind things she had said and done for me, in trying to gratify my desires and boyish whims. I was reminded that although she had often opposed me in my ideas of "hus'ling," and was at that very time refusing to aid me, she had always been a devoted mother, with a kind and forgiving disposition, and had never ceased to show her anxiety for my welfare.
I realized that there must be a reason, best known to herself, for withholding aid from me at this time.
I then began rummaging about for the old carpet-bag, which I found hanging in a remote corner, amongst cobwebs and bunches of balm and sage. As I gazed on the companion of my first railroad trip, there flashed through my mind, with lightning-like rapidity, the three weeks of joys and sorrows we had shared together while in New York. The many ups and downs I had experienced since that time, forced themselves upon my memory, whileithad been silently resting and apparently awaiting my return to accompany me on another search for fortune.
Among other things I saw hanging there was a half-worn-out, dried-up bunch of blue-beech switches.
How many times had they tickled my young hide for a breach of home discipline!
I took them in my hand, and as I gazed upon those silent reminders of the past, I said triumphantly:
"You clung to me like a brother. Your reign is over. Your day is past, while mine is just dawning. Farewell; I cherish you not. No fond memories cling around my recollections of you. The lessons you endeavored to convey were no doubt good, but, alas! they fell on barren soil. Farewell, farewell."
And heaving a heavy sigh, I hung them on the nail, picked up my carpet-bag, and descended from the garret.
After packing the old carpet-bag with bottles, I announced my readiness for the grand start. My mother commenced crying, and asked if I didn't think I'd better take a lunch along, in case of necessity. I said I guessed not, as she might be robbing herself to give me so much all at one time.
I bade her good bye, and I when I had gotten to the front gate she called me back, and said if I would hitch one of the horses to the carriage she would take me to Green Creek bridge, five miles out, where I could begin operations among strangers.
This me pleased me immensely, and I lost no time in carrying out her suggestion.
She drove west on the pike to the bridge, when I announced my readiness and anxiety to commence business, as it was then four o'clock and I must make a raise of a few shillings for expenses for the night.
I shall never forget the expression of solicitude and determination shown in her face as she bade me good bye, and turned to leave me; and I have since congratulated her for the firm, decisivestand she took. I have often related this incident as one of the best things that ever happened to me.
As soon as she started homeward I took the other direction.
I was mad; and the more I thought of her treatment of me the madder I got, and the more I 'hus'led.'
At the first house I called, the old lady said she hadn't any money, but would tell my fortune for a bottle of polish.
"Well, great Heavens!" I yelled, "go ahead, you never can tell my fortune at a better time."
She shuffled the cards, and said I'd never do manual labor, and I was going to be rich. I would have two wives, and no telling how many children. I had had a great many ups and downs, and would have some more; but would eventually settle down. I asked if I would ever be hung. She said, "No, sir."
During the interview she learned from me of my father's dying before I was born. That, she said, was always a sure sign of good fortune, and a bright future was always in store for a child born under such circumstances.
I finally asked her if she could tell where Iwas going to stay that night. She said she couldn't, but would wager that I wouldn't sleep in a freight car, nor go without my supper.
I gave her a bottle of polish, and made another start, calling at the next house just as the family were about to take supper.
I rushed in, set my carpet-bag down, and laying off my hat, said in a jocular manner:
"By gracious, I'm just in time, for once."
BY GRACIOUS, I'M JUST IN TIME, FOR ONCE
"Yes, you are," said the gentleman, as he was about to take his seat at the table. "Take that seat right over there," pointing to the opposite side of the table.
I thanked him and accepted his kind invitation. After supper I showed them my preparation, which pleased them much.
His wife asked the price. I told her fifty cents, and said:
"I want to allow you half that amount for my supper, therefore you will owe me but twenty-five cents."
She paid me, and I started on, much elated with my success, and convinced that the old fortune-teller knew her business, as the supper part had already come true.
I called at every house until too dark to operate, making a sale at nearly every one.
I walked on to Fremont, reaching there in time for the seven-thirty train bound west.
After buying a ticket for Lindsay, I had three dollars and fifty cents in cash, and plenty of stock on hand.
I remained there over night, and am almost certain there wasn't a housekeeper in that burgh who didn't get a bottle of my polish the next day.
After finishing the town, I learned that the westbound train was not due for an hour. As life was short, business brisk and time valuable, I started out on foot, walking to the next town, (meeting with fair success), where I took the train for Adrian, Michigan, arriving there the next day. A very impressive fact, to me, connected with this particular trip, was my traveling over five miles of road, peddling furniture polish at twenty-five and fifty cents per bottle, that a few weeks before I had driven over with the horse and buggy, and several hundred dollars in my pocket, during our patent-right experience.
Before leaving the subject of Patent Rights, I want to say a few words for the benefit of those who may be inclined to speculate in them. Although the selling of territory or State and County rights may be considered legitimate, it isby no means a suitable business for a reputable person to follow. The deeding of territory in a Patent Right is about equivalent to giving a deed to so much blue sky. At least, the purchaser usually realizes as much from the former as he would from the latter.
Those who invest in Patent Rights invariably do so at a time when their imagination is aroused to a point where all is sunshine and brightness.
But as soon as their ardor cools off their energies become dormant, and by the time they are ready to commence business they are as unfit to do so as they were visionary in making the purchase.
An invention of merit will never be sold by County or State rights. There are any number of capitalists ready and willing to invest in the manufacture of an invention of practical use. In such cases any territory would be considered too valuable to dispose of.
Hence it should be borne in mind that, as a rule, to invest in specified territory is to purchase an absolutely worthless invention.
The man who consummates the sale will seldom have the satisfaction of realizing that he has given value received.
And without giving value received, under all circumstances, (whether in Patent Rights or any other business), no man need look for or expect success.
As experience is a dear teacher, let the inexperienced take heed from onewho knows, and give all business of this character a wide berth.
Upon reaching Adrian, I discarded the carpet-bag and bought a small valise, with which I at once began business; and that night prepared more stock for the next day.
I commenced by taking the most aristocratic portion of the city, canvassing every street and number systematically, with good success.
One day, after I had succeeded in making enough money to buy a baby carriage, which I forwarded to my wife, and had a few dollars left, I was arrested for selling from house to house without a license. I explained to the officer that I hadn't the slightest idea that I was obliged to have one. He said I must go before the city magistrate, and demanded that I should accompany him, which I did.
Theold wolflectured me as if I had been a regular boodler, and then imposed a fine which exceeded the amount in my possession by about three dollars.
I asked what the penalty would be if I didn't pay.
He said I would have to go to jail.
"Well," said I, "I haven't money enough to pay my fine, and guess you might as well lock me up for the whole thing as a part of it."
In answer to the query "how much cash I had," I laid it all on his desk; and as he counted and raked it in, he said:
"Very well, I will suspend your sentence."
I then asked if I could have the privilege of selling the balance of the day, so as to take in money enough to get out of town with.
He said I could.
I invoiced my stock in trade and found I had just thirteen bottles of polish on hand, and immediately went to work.
The second house at which I called was a new and unfinished one, and I was obliged to enter from the back way. I found three or four very polite and pleasant ladies, to whom I showed my polish,—without effecting a sale, however.
When ready to leave the house I noticed three doors in a row, exactly alike. I was certain that the middle one was the one through which I had entered. Accordingly, facing the ladies andpolitely thanking them for their kind attention, and when just about saying good-bye, I opened the door and stepped back to close it after me, when I heard one of the ladies scream at the top of her voice.
It was too late.
I had disappeared—gone out of sight—where, I didn't know. But I realized when I struck that I had alighted full weight on my valise of furniture polish. It was total darkness, and I heard voices saying:
"What a pity! What a shame! Do send for some one."
Then the outside cellar door opened, letting in daylight as well as a little light on the situation.
The lady of the house had quickly come to my rescue by this entrance.
She hastily explained that the house was unfinished, and that they had not yet put stairs in their cellar-way, from the inside.
I thanked her for the kind information, but reminded her that it was unnecessary to explain, as I fully comprehended the situation.
I then picked up a shovel standing by, and after digging a deep hole in the very spot where I had struck in a sitting posture, I emptied thebroken bottles and polish into it. After covering it up, and shaping and rounding the top dirt like a grave, I said to the ladies, as they stood by watching the proceedings:
"Not dead, but busted. Here lie the remains of my last fortune. If you wish to erect a monument to the memory of this particular incident you have my consent to do so. Good day, ladies, good day."
With my empty valise I then returned to Mr. Hart's drug store, where I had previously bought my stock, and at once ordered a small lot put up, to be ready the next morning.
From there I went to the hotel, and in conversation with a scholarly looking gentleman, learned that he was a lawyer. I told him of my arrest, and the reasons assigned for it, when he informed me that no town in the United States had any legal right to exact a license from me if I manufactured my own goods.
I then decided to remain there as long as I could do well. The lawyer said if I would do so he would defend me gratuitously if I were molested again.
I thanked him, and said:
"My dear sir, it is very kind of you to offeryour services should I need them—very kind indeed; and as one good turn deserves another, suppose you loan me two dollars to pay the druggist for my stock in trade?"
"Certainly, sir, certainly. Glad to do so," he answered, as he handed me a two-dollar bill.
He then asked me to "take something."
"No, thank you; I never drink."
"Well, take a cigar won't you?"
"I never smoke, either," I answered.
"The devil you don't! Well, this certainly isn't your first experience in business, is it?" was his next query.
"Hardly; but why should a man drink or smoke just because he may have been in business for some time?"
"True enough," said he, "and had I always let drink alone I could have been a rich man; and I'll never take another drop."
"I hope you won't," I replied.
He then stepped forward, and taking me by the hand, said:
"Young man, I can't remember of ever before asking a man to drink with me who abruptly refused; and I consider yours an exceptionally rare case, considering that I had just done you afavor, and would hardly expect you to refuse. Now, sir, although you are a much younger man than I am, your conduct in this particular instance will do me a world of good; and although you are not worth a single dollar to-day, if you will always refrain from drinking, keep your head level and attend to business, you will be a rich man some day. Now, remember what I tell you."
I told him if I met with the same success in the future as in the past, I felt certain of the need of a level head to manage my business.
He assured me that no matter what the past had been,—the more rocky it had been, the smoother the future would be.
I worked in Adrian about two weeks, meeting with splendid success, which of course enabled me to return the two dollars to my newly-made friend. From there I went to Hillsdale, and at a drug store kept by French & Son, I bought the ingredients for the manufacture of my polish.
It was my custom to take down the names of every housekeeper who patronized me, and read them to the next person I called upon.
When I started out in the morning, on my first day's work, Mr. French's son laughed at me, and said he guessed I wouldn't sell much of my dope in that town.
On returning to the store at noon he inquired with considerable interest how business was.
I reported the sale of over a dozen bottles,—small ones at fifty cents and large ones at one dollar. He seemed to doubt my word, and asked to see my list of names. I read them to him, and as we came to the name of Mrs. French he threw up both hands and said:
"I'll bet you never sold her a bottle. Why, she is my mother!"
"No matter if she is your grandmother; I sold her one of the dollar bottles."
He cried out:
"Great Heavens! father, come here and see what this man has done. He has sold mother a four-ounce bottle of dope for a dollar, that he buys from us by the gallon!"
Mr. French, Sr. said he guessed there must be some mistake about that. I assured him it was true.
Then the young man suddenly exclaimed:
"See here, I wish you would go to my house and see if you can sell my wife a bottle. She always prides herself on getting rid of agents."
"Well, I wonder if your mother doesn't think she can 'fire them out' pretty well, too?" inquired the father.
"Yes, but I'll bet he can't sell to my wife," ejaculated the young man.
"Tell me where you live."
He pointed out the house, and said he would not go to dinner till I reported.
I made the call, and returned in about thirty minutes with two dollars of his wife's money. She had taken one bottle for herself and one for her mother-in-law, Mrs. French.
This greatly pleased both the young man and his father; and the latter said it was worth ten times the price to them, as they would now have a case to present to their wives that would ever after cure them of patronizing agents.
I assured them that their wives had actually purchased an article superior to anything they could produce. They said it didn't matter—it had all come from their store, if they didn't know how to make it.