Chapter 7

"Here lies the minister, great Binks,No more he for his country thinks;No more he eats—no more he drinks—But, conquered by misfortune, sinks."

"Here lies the minister, great Binks,

No more he for his country thinks;

No more he eats—no more he drinks—

But, conquered by misfortune, sinks."

The daughters of the Lord Chamberlain were scarcely equal to such a poetic effort as the above; but, determined not to be behindhand, presented their parent with the following stanza:—

"Look through these bars with eye of lynx,And see the chamberlain, Lord Chinks!He scarce can breathe, and feebly winks,Quite done to death by prison stinks."

"Look through these bars with eye of lynx,

And see the chamberlain, Lord Chinks!

He scarce can breathe, and feebly winks,

Quite done to death by prison stinks."

In this manner did the innocent maidens endeavour to lighten the hours of captivity which passed over their heads, and when, upon the second week of their imprisonment, they were moved into larger and more airy apartments, hope at once revived within their drooping bosoms. It must, however, be confessed, that in the midst of their distress both Binks and Chinks contemplated with silent but real satisfaction the probably speedy advent of Pigspud to join them in their prison, and share their sorrows. This event they both regarded as quite certain to occur, and without having any particular ill-feeling towards the Chief Justice, the three had been too long in the position of rivals to make either two sorry for any misfortune that befell the third, especially if it had previously fallen upon themselves.

Leaving these worthies to their expectations, we will now endeavour to discover what was passing at the abode of Pigspud. It was the evening but one before the projected banquet. The shades of evening were fast closing in around the city, and the mists of the river were beginning to rise like vapoury spirits from the water, when the private door of Ophelia's wing was stealthily and quietly opened, and a figure emerged, clothed from head to foot in a cloak of dark gray. Slowly but surely, as one who knew the road well, the figure passed along the low terrace-walk that led down to the bank of the river, and stood at the brink, silently for a few moments, and then began to murmur words in a low tone. A listener, however attentive, could scarcely have made out the meaning of that which Ophelia (for it was none other than the daughter of the house of Pigspud) was reciting, for the language in which she spoke was strange, and her tone somewhat indistinct;—

"Marley-quarley-pachel-farley,Mansto macken furlesparley,Mondo pondo sicho pinto,Framsigalen hannotinto."

"Marley-quarley-pachel-farley,

Mansto macken furlesparley,

Mondo pondo sicho pinto,

Framsigalen hannotinto."

Such were the mystic words which issued from the lips of the maiden. Nor was it long before a response was given. A low murmuring sound proceeded from the river, and out of the rushes which fringed the bank there presently arose a form of strange and weird appearance. It was that of an old, a very old woman, with a red cloak wrapped around her, an umbrella in her hand, and a poke bonnet upon the top of her head. She was small, though not much below the ordinary height of a Pigmy; but the most remarkable thing about her was the extreme keenness of her eye, which seemed to pierce you through and through when she fixed it upon you. Slowly she rose from among the rushes, and scrambled, somehow or other, up the bank, until she stood opposite to the maiden who had summoned her. As soon as she had accomplished this feat, she struck her umbrella upon the ground, and remarked in a somewhat masculine tone of voice:

"What is it, Ophelia, and what do you fear,That you've called your affectionate godmother here?Has your 'Pa' been unkind? (since no 'Ma' you have got),Or a lover appeared when you'd rather he'dnot?Are you ill, or unhappy, or is't for a freakThat your godmother's presence you suddenly seek?"

"What is it, Ophelia, and what do you fear,

That you've called your affectionate godmother here?

Has your 'Pa' been unkind? (since no 'Ma' you have got),

Or a lover appeared when you'd rather he'dnot?

Are you ill, or unhappy, or is't for a freak

That your godmother's presence you suddenly seek?"

Ophelia listened with respectful attention whilst the old woman uttered these words, and then replied in a low, sweet voice:—

"Did I not deem the crisis graveI had not called thee from thy wave:And if in doing so I err,Forgive me, gracious godmother!My father knows thee not, great dame;My mother told me, all the same,Thouwastmy godmother, and soI love thee in my weal and woe.O'ercome by cruel destiny,Poor Binks and Chinks in dungeons lie,And our bad king—a grievous sin—Hath likewise put their daughters in.Dear godmother! 'twere sad, you know,My father should to prison go;But sadder still (you'll hardly failTo see) thatIshould go to gaol.Yet is the time but two days henceWhen Famcram comes; on some pretenceHe'll surely send us both to pris'n,And makeourvaluables hisn.Dear Godmother! Pray leave thy waveThy loving god-daughter to save,Or tell me how, by thy kind aid,The tyrant's power I may evade!"

"Did I not deem the crisis grave

I had not called thee from thy wave:

And if in doing so I err,

Forgive me, gracious godmother!

My father knows thee not, great dame;

My mother told me, all the same,

Thouwastmy godmother, and so

I love thee in my weal and woe.

O'ercome by cruel destiny,

Poor Binks and Chinks in dungeons lie,

And our bad king—a grievous sin—

Hath likewise put their daughters in.

Dear godmother! 'twere sad, you know,

My father should to prison go;

But sadder still (you'll hardly fail

To see) thatIshould go to gaol.

Yet is the time but two days hence

When Famcram comes; on some pretence

He'll surely send us both to pris'n,

And makeourvaluables hisn.

Dear Godmother! Pray leave thy wave

Thy loving god-daughter to save,

Or tell me how, by thy kind aid,

The tyrant's power I may evade!"

Whilst Ophelia was speaking, the old woman kept tapping her umbrella upon the ground in visible wrath, and a frown appearing upon her face, which was otherwise not particularly beautiful, did not greatly improve her personal appearance. As soon as the maiden ceased, she lost not a moment in making her reply:—

"I'm ready, my darling, to do your behest,For tyrants like Famcram I greatly detest,And if your good father was not such a dolt,From the land of the despot he'd speedily bolt.For Binks and for Chinks I have nothing to say,And they're probably just as well out of the way;But as to their daughters—I'm really inclinedTo think that the king has gone out of his mind,And inyourcase, I'll teach him, as well as I can,A woman has rights just as much as a man,And he's vastly mistaken, poor wretch, if he thinksA god-child of mine is the same as Miss Binks.Now listen to me: when King Famcram comes here,Betray not the slightest suspicion of fear,But enter, quite calmly, the banqueting roomArrayed in your commonest morning costume.He'll show irritation; and rage, beyond doubt(You know he could scarcely be royal without);But never mindthat, tho' he rages meanwhile,Bestow on the fool a contemptuous smile;In spite of his anger, continue the same,And ask 'If he isn't content, why he came?'Whate'er he replies, pray be careful of this,And do not one word or one syllable miss;As soon as he threatens, stand just as you are,But hold up before him this earthenware jar,Remarking, 'King Famcram, determined I amTo ask you to taste of my raspberry jam.'He'll do it—he must—since, the truth for to tell,This jar carries with it a wonderful spell;And when I've said o'er it the words I'll now say,Whoever you choose will acknowledge your sway.While kept in your hand (not a difficult task)Each person you speak to will do what you ask;And once the jam tasted, you'll have for your slaveKing Famcram, and teach him the way to behave.But keep the jar safe, for, broken or chipped,Of your spell and your sway you'll be speedily stripped."

"I'm ready, my darling, to do your behest,

For tyrants like Famcram I greatly detest,

And if your good father was not such a dolt,

From the land of the despot he'd speedily bolt.

For Binks and for Chinks I have nothing to say,

And they're probably just as well out of the way;

But as to their daughters—I'm really inclined

To think that the king has gone out of his mind,

And inyourcase, I'll teach him, as well as I can,

A woman has rights just as much as a man,

And he's vastly mistaken, poor wretch, if he thinks

A god-child of mine is the same as Miss Binks.

Now listen to me: when King Famcram comes here,

Betray not the slightest suspicion of fear,

But enter, quite calmly, the banqueting room

Arrayed in your commonest morning costume.

He'll show irritation; and rage, beyond doubt

(You know he could scarcely be royal without);

But never mindthat, tho' he rages meanwhile,

Bestow on the fool a contemptuous smile;

In spite of his anger, continue the same,

And ask 'If he isn't content, why he came?'

Whate'er he replies, pray be careful of this,

And do not one word or one syllable miss;

As soon as he threatens, stand just as you are,

But hold up before him this earthenware jar,

Remarking, 'King Famcram, determined I am

To ask you to taste of my raspberry jam.'

He'll do it—he must—since, the truth for to tell,

This jar carries with it a wonderful spell;

And when I've said o'er it the words I'll now say,

Whoever you choose will acknowledge your sway.

While kept in your hand (not a difficult task)

Each person you speak to will do what you ask;

And once the jam tasted, you'll have for your slave

King Famcram, and teach him the way to behave.

But keep the jar safe, for, broken or chipped,

Of your spell and your sway you'll be speedily stripped."

With these words the old lady, who, whilst speaking, had pulled out of some pocket or other, or else from the folds of her umbrella, a small jar, now held it aloft in her hand and displayed it before the eyes of Ophelia. As soon as she had done so for as long a time as she thought fit, she stuck her umbrella firmly into the ground, and holding the jar immediately over it, pronounced certain mystic and fearful words, which no mortal of ordinary nature could utter, much less write, and which there is the less reason to mention, because if they were written or uttered, no child of man could possibly understand them. But when she had finished this fearful muttering to herself, she spoke out more loudly, addressing herself thus to the jar and its contents:

"Jar! possessed of mighty spell,Do thy work, and do it well.Serve Ophelia night and day—Famcram bring beneath her sway.Jam! do duty day and night;Tempt the royal appetite—Be to Famcram wine and meat,Bring him to Ophelia's feet;Cause him eagerly to craveLife but as Ophelia's slave;Bow him humbly, bring him down,At her footstool place his crown,And, thy mission to fulfil,Let him live but by her will."

"Jar! possessed of mighty spell,

Do thy work, and do it well.

Serve Ophelia night and day—

Famcram bring beneath her sway.

Jam! do duty day and night;

Tempt the royal appetite—

Be to Famcram wine and meat,

Bring him to Ophelia's feet;

Cause him eagerly to crave

Life but as Ophelia's slave;

Bow him humbly, bring him down,

At her footstool place his crown,

And, thy mission to fulfil,

Let him live but by her will."

Having finished her incantation, and repeated these lines in a voice sufficiently distinct, though not unlike the croak of a raven, the old woman now turned once more to Ophelia, as if to ascertain whether she had anything more to say. The maiden smiled sweetly upon her, and at once expressed her thanks in the following words:—

"Dear godmother! how good thou art!The burden now has left my heart,Which like a weight has bowed me downWith fear of tyrant Famcram's frown.Well do I know 'twere hard to findA councillor more wise and kind;And, with thy might and magic aidNo longer shall I feel afraid.I'll use the jar and jam as told,And very tight the former hold,And when King Famcram is subduedI, with this magic power imbued,Will make him slave—and let him know it—And ne'er forget to whom I owe it!"

"Dear godmother! how good thou art!

The burden now has left my heart,

Which like a weight has bowed me down

With fear of tyrant Famcram's frown.

Well do I know 'twere hard to find

A councillor more wise and kind;

And, with thy might and magic aid

No longer shall I feel afraid.

I'll use the jar and jam as told,

And very tight the former hold,

And when King Famcram is subdued

I, with this magic power imbued,

Will make him slave—and let him know it—

And ne'er forget to whom I owe it!"

So speaking, Ophelia held out her hand for the promised jar, when the old woman, making a stride forward, placed it in her hands, and then, throwing both her arms round the maiden, clasped her tightly in a long and loving embrace with which she could very well have dispensed. Gratitude, however, for the immense favour which she was about to receive at the hands of her excellent godmother, prevented her from disclosing the repugnance which she probably felt at the vehemence of the old lady's affection, and having endured it with silent fortitude, she took the jar into her hands, and, bidding her companion a respectful farewell, forthwith re-entered the private door through which she had come, and shortly disappeared within the house.

The old woman then took up her umbrella, and slowly descending the bank of the river to the rushes from which she had emerged, speedily became invisible. The shades of night closed in, and darkness soon set its seal upon the Pigmy capital and nation.

The Chief Justice did not see his daughter that evening, and although he had great confidence in her sagacity, talents, and resources, it must be confessed that he rose next morning with a heavy heart. In all probability, he thought, it was his last day of office, and not only of office, but of freedom. With the fate of the Prime Minister and the Lord Chamberlain before his eyes, how could he possibly hope to escape? For a moment the thought of flight crossed his mind, but was as instantly banished. His hopes, his wealth, his relations, his home—everything that could make life pleasant was fixed and centred in his native country, and at his age no change was to be thought of or could be endured. And then, where could he fly to, and how escape from the tyrant's spies?

No: the thought was madness—the event, be it what it might, must be encountered: the morrow must come in its due course, and, after all, he, a lawyer, a statesman and a philosopher, ought to be able to put up with his fate at least as well as other people.

While the worthy Pigspud thus mused upon the melancholy prospect before him, he was interrupted by the approach of his daughter, the calmness of whose countenance and demeanour was certainly calculated to reassure her anxious parent. However, although she spoke hopefully and bade the old man take courage and be sure that things would turn out better than he expected, she told him not one word about her secret interview of the previous evening, or of the powerful assistance she had procured.

So the old gentleman passed but a sad day, and could only console himself by resolving to be loyal to the last to his sovereign, and to provide him an entertainment of which he should not be ashamed.

Vast, indeed, were the preparations made for that banquet. So many delicacies had probably not been collected together for one repast within the memory of man. Nothing was omitted. From the oysters with which each guest was to be furnished at the beginning, down to the liqueurs at the end of the feast, everything was there, and everything was in perfection.

Pigspud had even hired a special poet to compose and recite an ode in praise of the King, but there were doubts expressed as to the complete success of the composition, confined as it was to the doings of the table, and celebrating dishes which were made to tickle the palate by their taste rather than the ear by their well-sung praises. The ode began,—

"Come servants all, the table put onWell-roasted beef and tender mutton.Guests, down your throats white veal and lamb cram,And drink the health of good King Famcram!Consume the oaten cakes and wheat-bread,The calves-foot jelly and the sweet-bread,And own the table splendid, that isSo well supplied with oyster-patties."

"Come servants all, the table put on

Well-roasted beef and tender mutton.

Guests, down your throats white veal and lamb cram,

And drink the health of good King Famcram!

Consume the oaten cakes and wheat-bread,

The calves-foot jelly and the sweet-bread,

And own the table splendid, that is

So well supplied with oyster-patties."

There was much more of this, in a similar strain, but in the confusion that afterwards followed, and in the interesting events which I shall presently have to chronicle, the ode itself was lost, and as no copies could be afterwards obtained, I am unable to supply the rest of it to the anxious reader. With regard to the entertainment, generally, there was certainly no fault to be found.

Old Winelees and Mrs. Brushemup had surpassed themselves, and the confectioners, cooks and pastrycooks to whom had been assigned the duties connected with the preparation of the affair, had exerted themselves beyond all praise.

The decorations were gorgeous, and everything appeared to have been arranged with such care and good taste, and with such an utter disregard of expense, that there were not wanting many, even among those who were acquainted (as who was not) with the upshot of the efforts made by the Prime Minister and the Lord Chamberlain to do honour to their sovereign, who prophesied a greater success and even a triumphant result to the Chief Justice. The hour drew near at which Famcram was expected, and ere long the distant trumpets heralded his approach. The mob cheered him lustily along the streets, not because he was popular, but because he was handsomely dressed, had his crown upon his head and the famous sceptre in his hand, which facts were quite sufficient to justify a mob in cheering anybody.

Nearer and nearer his carriage drew, and at last stopped before the door of Pigspud's mansion. Then, after one last loud flourish, the trumpets ceased to sound. The king alighted to his feet. The Chief Justice received him kneeling on one knee.

Famcram bowed coldly, glanced right and left, and then slowly entered the banqueting room, while his host tremblingly followed behind, his heart balanced between hope and fear, but much, it must be owned, inclining to the latter. The king paused at the entrance of the room. Everything was so beautifully arranged that it was difficult to find fault, even for one who was determined to do so. The flowers, the fruit, the flags, the garlands, the decorations which met his eye were all so splendid, that those who saw them, and knew at the same time that the tyrant was certain to find some occasion to carry out his purpose, marvelled within themselves, what cause for fault-finding he could possibly discover, or what excuse he would be able to invent for his action.

They had not long to marvel, however, for the next moment the eyes of all were turned upon Ophelia, who came sauntering down the room, between the tables, very leisurely, even carelessly, and advanced towards the king.

She was dressed in her morning dress of an unpretending brown colour, fitting closely to the figure, and unadorned by ornament of any kind save a steel chatelaine, from which hung sundry useful articles, scissors, thimble, needlecase and the like; but which added to the suspicion which her general appearance created, that she had merely walked from her sitting-room to the banquetting-hall without any change of toilet in honour of the king.

This was quite enough for Famcram, and furnished him with an excuse for anger against his Chief Justice, far more legitimate than those which had been made the pretext for the punishment of his two brother officials. The king lost no time in flying into a violent passion.

"What ho!" he cried, in as loud a voice as his anger would permit him to raise. "What bold hussey is this who comes to meet her sovereign in common everyday garments? What malapert conduct have we here?" and he strutted forward puffing and fuming like a turkey-cock.

Ophelia, who had learned her lesson well, and knew how much depended upon it, paid not the smallest attention to the anger of the king, but advanced towards him with the same careless step, and a contemptuous smile upon her countenance. Of course this made matters worse, and the unhappy Pigspud trembled in his shoes in dire anticipation of what would follow, whilst the courtiers and attendants opened their eyes wider than they had ever done at the strange conduct of the infatuated maiden.

The sight of the smile upon the maiden's face incensed Famcram to a still greater degree. He stamped violently upon the floor, and turning to the Chief Justice demanded in imperious tones what was the meaning of this insult.

"Who is it?" he cried, "who is this brazen-faced daughter of a demon who dares to come thus into our presence?"

The unhappy Pigspud in trembling tones admitted that it was his own daughter.

"Your daughter?" exclaimed the king, with a smile or rather grin in which fury, triumph and revenge contended for the mastery. "It is then in your house and by your daughter that I am thus treated? I will deal with you presently, Chief Justice. What do you mean, hussey, by this shameful impudence?"

To the surprise of the king himself and of every person present, Ophelia actually yawned whilst the monarch was speaking, and when he had concluded, kept smiling upon him with palpable contempt, and glancing round at the decorations and beautiful objects right and left of her, remarked in a languid, drawling tone—"If you are not content, King Famcram, why did you come?"

This filled up the measure of her iniquity, and drove the king nearly mad. Half beside himself with rage, he seemed to those about him to foam at the mouth as he spluttered forth his furious answer.

"Vile wench! you and your father shall suffer for this! You shall, by all that a Pigmy holds dear I swear it. The fate of Binks and Chinks shall be paradise toyourlot, you wretched scum of the earth. Ho! guard, seize these traitors at once, and have the lowest and darkest dungeon made ready for them without delay!"

A groan burst from the lips of the unfortunate Pigspud as the royal lips pronounced these words, for in them he naturally saw the realisation of his worst fears. But before one of the guards could move hand or foot, the fair Ophelia, with the same smile continuously upon her lips, took a step or two forward, and, holding out in her hand the little jar of which we know—but of the existence of which everyone present was profoundly ignorant, said in a remarkably calm and clear voice—

"Pray listen: King Famcram, determined I amTo ask you to taste of my raspberry jam!"

"Pray listen: King Famcram, determined I am

To ask you to taste of my raspberry jam!"

Scarcely were the words out of her mouth when a perceptible change came over the face, voice, and manner of Famcram. The first turned ghastly white; the second sank to a low whisper; and the third lost all its violence, and became as quiet as the manner of a sheep when in the hands of its executioner.

One shiver passed over the king's frame, as if there was a strong internal struggle; but it was over in a moment. Murmuring something so indistinctly that no one was quite sure what he said, but apparently something about "not liking to refuse a lady," he shuffled forward to meet Ophelia, whilst the crowd around was plunged in the deepest amazement at his strange and altered conduct.

The maiden, as he approached, took a small silver salt-spoon from the table near her, scooped out of her jar a good spoonful of the jam, and held it to Famcram's mouth. He meekly received the spoon therein, and devoured the jam without a word, good, bad, or indifferent. The next moment he grovelled—literally grovelled—at Ophelia's feet, covering them with kisses, and vowing that he was her slave for life.

The people could hardly believe their eyes, and looked at each other as if they felt that they must all be in a dream, or suffering from some optical delusion, and that it could not be a reality which was passing before them. But Ophelia took it all quite as a matter of course.

She ordered Famcram, in haughty tones, to kneel on all fours, and as soon as he had done so, she sat down upon him with the greatest calmness.

Wonder upon wonders! The tyrant, who had shown every disposition to treat his people like miserable slaves, seemed now to be reduced to more abject slavery than the meanest of his vassals.

A moment before, he was uttering threats of vengeance against his host; now, he was prostrate and humble, the meek servitor of that host's daughter.

No one could imagine whence or how this mighty change had come, but the voice of Ophelia soon turned their thoughts to other things. Still seated upon her living stool, she bade the guests be seated, and told them that her father would do the honours.

Having seen her power displayed in so miraculous a manner, no one felt the least inclined to disobey her, the more particularly as her commands were by no means of an unwelcome nature, and the feast was one of a very inviting description.

No one offered to interfere between the lady and the sovereign, being probably of opinion that to do so would expose themselves to danger without benefit to their lord and master, for whom, moreover, none of them had any very particular affection. Accordingly they obeyed Ophelia's commands without either reluctance or hesitation, seated themselves at the tables and began to attack the good things thereupon without any unnecessary delay.

Meantime Ophelia kept her seat, and Famcram, not being particularly strong, soon groaned beneath her weight, especially as she did not try to lighten his burden, but sat as heavy as she could, occasionally lifting her feet from the ground to give greater weight to her body. The king spoke not a word, however, being apparently restrained by some power. He merely panted and breathed deeply, once or twice trembling so as to shake the maiden. Whenever he did so, she struck him a sharp blow on the side of the head with the back of her hand, addressing him at the same time with epithets the reverse of complimentary.

"Beast, keep quiet." "Be still, you stupid brute," and such like ejaculations were all the king got from his fair mistress, and this continued until the banquet was well nigh over, and most of the good things consumed. Then Ophelia arose, and taking the king by the ear (which she pinched and twisted so that an involuntary yell broke from the unhappy sufferer), led him to the head of the table at which her father was presiding. The latter trembled even then, partly for fear of the extraordinary power possessed by his daughter, and perhaps in a greater degree lest it should suddenly fail her after all, and the vengeance of the enslaved monarch be worse to endure than would have been his first anger.

No such fear, however, troubled Ophelia, who had her own purpose in what she was now about to do. She desired to show to the people her great and full power over their sovereign, and this she had already done; but it was by no means part of her plan that they should cease to pay him deference, or at least obedience, for it was through him that she could alone possess that power over them which she fully intended to gain. She therefore caused him to be seated at her father's right hand, and to be supplied with food and drink of which she directed him to partake. Famcram obeyed at once, meekly and without complaint, and ate what was given to him with a grateful glance at Ophelia, such as a dog might have given to a master who had thrown him a bone.

She, meanwhile, seating herself on the other side of her father, listlessly asked for some boiled chicken, and, whilst she trifled with her knife and fork, began to converse upon indifferent subjects, making no allusion whatever to the incidents of the day. This behaviour caused the Chief Justice the greatest astonishment, and at another time he would have demanded explanations of his daughter without delay.

But his joy at the unexpected turn which things had taken, and at his own safety, at least for the time, from the peril with which he had been so recently threatened, caused him to take less notice of the matter than he would otherwise have done.

To speak the truth, moreover, his joy had been somewhat increased and his spirits in no small degree elated by an unusual quantity of dry champagne which he had imbibed in the excitement of the moment, so that things appeared natural and reasonable to him which would generally have seemed most extraordinary.

Ophelia meantime was playing her game well. She judged—and judged rightly—that the conduct of the king in throwing himself at her feet, in allowing her to sit upon him as if he were a chair or stool, and in afterwards meekly following her to the head of the table, would be attributed to nothing else than devoted love by a great many of those who were present, and especially by such as had not been near enough to witness his first outburst of anger, or to hear his first words, which had certainly not been those of affection.

This idea would be speedily followed by another, when the guests saw her seated on one side of the Chief Justice and King Famcram on the other.

Whatcouldit mean save that she was about to be raised to the highest dignity in the kingdom, and to share the throne and power of Famcram as his queen?

This was in fact the resolution which she had formed, and determined to omit no precaution which might ensure its success. So she sat and ate at the banquet, already looking and feeling like a queen, and her device fully succeeded in making the people believe that things were as she desired.

But all this would be insufficient without some public avowal on the part of the king, and she resolved that this should be given.

Presently, therefore, she leant forward across her father, and, steadily looking Famcram in the face, thus addressed him:—

"King, your wish—the anxious wish of your heart—shall be gratified. I consent to become your queen, and you may at once announce the happy tidings to this august assembly."

As she said these words, the luckless Famcram turned quite red in the face, and there was visibly another struggle within his breast between contending passions. This struggle lasted longer than the first, and not only did he make no sign of acquiescence to the lady's proposal, but there were those who afterwards declared that they heard—deep and low like the sound of fire struggling to burst loose from walls within which it is enclosed—a sepulchral voice within the king which muttered the words—"I don't want any queen."

But, whether such words were spoken or not, Ophelia was equal to the occasion.

"Jam, dear, did you say?" she asked in her most winning tones, and in another second the salt-spoon was out, and a portion of the contents of the little jar transferred without delay to the king's mouth, whilst in a low, determined voice, the maiden continued, speaking in tones which could scarcely be heard by anyone save the king himself and the Chief Justice.

"Speak out, slave, at once, and acknowledge me as your only queen."

Mechanically, as if moved by springs, uprose King Famcram. There was a dead silence for a moment; then there burst forth a loud cheer, for the guests naturally supposed that the king was about to speak, and knew that it was proper to cheer before he said anything, in order to show that they were ready to do so afterwards.

Then again there was a silence, and Famcram spoke these words:

"Ophelia Pigspud is my queen, and only she."

And down he sat again so suddenly that everybody thought it was by accident, and there must be something more coming.

As, however, there wasnot, it was evidently the duty of all present to cheer again, and this they did most lustily, again and again, though a great many of them had not heard what the king had said, a great many more thought there was something in the proceeding which they could not understand, and still a great many more did not care sixpence, one way or other, about the announcement.

Nevertheless, Ophelia had gained her end: the king had publicly declared that she, and she only, was his queen, and the rest appeared to depend upon herself.

By this time the Chief Justice was in a condition which rendered it desirable that no further business of importance should be transacted, for the excitement of the afternoon had proved altogether too much for him. He was therefore assisted to his room, and retired amid loud cheers from such of the guests as had not made sufficient noise before. Then Ophelia directed the butler and his attendants to conduct Famcram to the state chamber, and to direct the guards to be placed in the usual manner.

The courtiers and guests were forthwith dismissed, and the eventful day drew to its close.

Many and deep were the thoughts which occupied Ophelia's mind that night; she had a difficult game to play, and though her spirit was high and her courage undaunted, it was impossible that she should not feel some anxiety as to the result. So far, indeed, all had gone well.

Famcram, who had evidently entered the banqueting-room with no better intentions towards her father and herself than those which he had entertained and carried out in the case of the unhappy families of Binks and Chinks, had been entirely overcome by the magic assistance of her godmother.

The jam had proved most efficacious indeed, and the evening had been one continued triumph.

But doubts and fears still remained as to the future. At the very moment of the king's recognition of her as his queen, he had but too plainly evinced a disinclination to the step which appeared to indicate that the power of the jam was but temporary, unless, indeed, it was the last struggle of his obstinate nature against that power. He had certainly yielded, and nothing could have been more complete than Ophelia's victory. But then came the question, if the jam had not sufficient force to keep the king enchained as her slave for a longer time than the duration of the banquet, might not its power die away altogether before morning? In that case, what would be her position if the monarch, too wary to see her, and so run the risk of being again subjected to the same treatment, should issue orders directed against her and hers, and fully revenge himself for the events of the previous evening?

True—if she retained the jar, she might operate upon his messengers in such a manner as to prevent their inflicting personal injury upon herself, but she would probably be unable to protect her father or his property, as the power she possessed seemed to be personal, closely connected with the jam, and such as could only be exercised when she had the jar in her hand.

Suppose, again, that Famcram should awake during the night, discover that he was not in his own palace, summon his attendants, and surprise her father and slay or capture him whilst asleep. Or suppose he should leave the house by stealth, and that next morning it should be surrounded by royal guards before she was awake, and her jar possibly taken from her.

All these thoughts passed constantly through the mind of the daughter of Pigspud, and she got but little rest throughout the whole of that long and dreary night.

Early in the morning she arose, performed her toilet with the greatest care, and forthwith descended to the grand drawing-room of the mansion, where several of the courtiers had already assembled. The king had not yet made his appearance, and it must be owned that Ophelia awaited his coming with some anxiety. Presently, however, the doors were thrown open, and the sun shining through the great windows on the staircase, fell full upon the bright red hair of the little monarch, making it brighter than ever.

As he slowly descended, Ophelia grasped tightly in her hand the little jar, which she kept concealed in the folds of her dress, quite prepared to have recourse to it again immediately, if occasion should require. She soon saw, however, that she need be under no immediate apprehension. There was a submissive look about Famcram's general appearance, and a humility even in his squint (which seemed that morning to be more frightful than ever), which greatly re-assured the maiden.

He came limping into the room, and bowed before her as he entered. Now was the moment when Ophelia's course of action must be clear and certain. She had already resolved upon it, and proceeded according to her determination.

To keep Famcram in awe of herself—to preserve their last evening's relations of mistress and slave—was positively necessary, but it was equally desirable not to lower her future husband in the eyes of his courtiers and attendants. She therefore saluted him with a graceful bend of the head, and invited him to the breakfast-room, where they took their seats side by side.

The Chief Justice was rather late that morning, at which nobody manifested any surprise, having seen that his fatigue was great on the previous evening. Ophelia therefore had everything to do, and she did it admirably. The guests were well treated, the breakfast was excellently arranged, and everybody appeared satisfied and in good spirits.

At the conclusion of the repast, Ophelia notified to the king that he should appoint a time that morning at which he would receive his subjects, and publicly fix the day upon which their marriage should be celebrated.

The little man made no objection, and trembled visibly when the maiden fixed her eyes upon him. So it was arranged that at a public audience to be held at twelve o'clock, the king should make solemn proclamation of his intended marriage, and that, as delays in such matters were undesirable, the ceremony should be performed the very next day.

Thus far had Ophelia Pigspud certainly overcome the evils with which fate had threatened her, and she began to feel confident that all would go well, and that her triumph would be final and complete. Twelve o'clock came, and the appointed reception was duly held, the proclamation that it would be so having attracted many of the better class of Pigmies. The shortness of the notice was no hindrance to this result.

In some countries, I have been told, when subjects are admitted to the presence of their sovereign, they are compelled, whether men or women, to adopt a costume which they never think of wearing at any other time, which is exceedingly inconvenient and sometimes ridiculous. Although these ceremonies take place, like the royal receptions in Pigmyland, in the broad daylight, the ladies who attend are obliged to do so in dresses more fit for evening parties, with their heads fantastically arranged and crowned with feathers, more ludicrous than imposing, while, irrespective of weather, their throats and chests are exposed in a manner exceedingly likely to produce colds and coughs and such like undesirable ailments.

The gentlemen, all armed with swords, as if the sovereign was likely to order a sudden attack upon them, or to require their services in order to repel one upon himself, are dressed in various degrees of absurdity, according to the particular rank or grade to which each belongs, but no one wears an ordinary dress, and the whole thing is somewhat like a fancy ball or a masquerade without the masks. These, however, are of course only half civilized people, and not an intelligent and progressive race such as the Pigmies. The latter appear before their monarch in their ordinary clothes, the only regulation being that they shall be decent and respectable, as in fact they always are. Thus the sovereign sees his people as they really are, whilst they on their part come into the royal presence without restraint, or the uncomfortable feeling of presenting an appearance similar to that of a jackdaw in peacock's feathers. This ensures a large attendance on reception days, which are also the more frequently held, and at short notice, since they do not entail upon the people, as in the countries to which I have alluded, the necessity of long notice to dress-makers and tailors, and the not inconsiderable expense contingent upon dealings with such people. So although the proclamation was only made upon the same morning, the greater part of the aristocracy of Famcram's capital, together with many of the middle classes, who were not excluded from that court, attended his reception.

Ophelia stood by his side, carefully retaining the jar of jam all the time, and the little monarch was as submissive as upon the previous day. The people saw and recognised her position.

Whether they murmured at all, or entertained any objection to the sudden elevation of the daughter of Pigspud, I cannot say, but at all events no such feeling was evinced, the reception passed off as well as Ophelia could possibly have wished, and Famcram was as much her slave as ever.

For greater security, she gave him a small piece of bread and jam immediately after luncheon, and he really seemed to require no more in order to keep him perfectly submissive and obedient to the will of his mistress. Of course it was necessary to make great preparations for the next day.

Chief Justice Pigspud, finding his daughter's position, to all appearance, firmly established, took heart again, recovered much of his former confidence, and began to hold up his head and to prepare to take a full share in the future government of the kingdom. He naturally took the lead in arranging the proceedings of the following day, the more especially as Famcram seemed to have suddenly changed his character. Instead of being captious, jealous, ill-tempered, arbitrary, and tyrannical, he appeared to have subsided into a meek, quiet, timid being, who hardly dared call his soul his own. He spoke, looked, and moved as if in a kind of stupor, and obeyed every command of Ophelia without a protest or even a murmur of objection.

The Chief Justice, seeing that this result had been obtained in some mysterious way, was too well satisfied with it to trouble his daughter by inquiries into the means she had used or the agencies she had employed. It is due to the old man to say that he suspected nothing unlawful, but even had he entertained such suspicions, I do not know that he would have deemed it necessary to take any action upon them, since, whatever the means taken, the end secured had been one so desirable.

With all his faults Pigspud was not without generosity, and now that he saw good prospects of prosperity before him and his house, he bethought himself of his old associates, Binks and Chinks, and determined, if possible, to effect their release from unmerited imprisonment.

With this object he went to his daughter in the afternoon of the day before the wedding, representing to her that it would be a graceful act on her part, and one likely to be popular with the people, if she were to persuade the king to release his old ministers and their families, and invite them to be present at his approaching nuptials.

Ophelia was somewhat vexed at the request. She hardly felt as yet sufficiently secure in her position to run any risks, and, although she would have been glad enough to have aided in the release of the Prime Minister and the Lord Chamberlain, an indefinable something seemed to tell her that in the daughters of the two ministers she would find enemies who had better not be placed in any position in which they could possibly do harm.

She knew the power which jealousy has over the female mind—that is to say, in Pigmyland, though, of course, in ordinary countries, such a feeling is unknown to the softer sex—and she feared she knew not what. However, she felt that it would be ungracious, as well as ungrateful, to refuse her father his first request, and she, therefore, told Famcram that the prisoners must be released in order to be present at the wedding next day. The king raised no objection, but did as he was told, and orders were immediately sent to the dungeons for the liberation of the ex-ministers and their families, at which they were, of course, delighted; but some difficulty was experienced after their release from prison, as to where they should go to, inasmuch as King Famcram had appropriated all their property. As, however, their respective houses remained unoccupied, they were permitted to return thither, and make themselves as comfortable as they could. The ladies of the party were the worst off, and great were their complaints of total inability to appear in proper dresses at the festivities on the ensuing day.

Ophelia felt for their difficulty, and did all she could to remove it, supplying them with many articles of dress from her own wardrobe, and assuring them of her sincere sympathy for their sufferings in the past, and her readiness to promote their happiness in the future. So when the morning fixed for the royal marriage dawned, all seemed likely to go well, and content reigned upon the face of every Pigmy.

Owing to a conflagration which, at a subsequent period, destroyed all the records in the public offices of that country, I am unable to supply my readers with a full and accurate account of all the details of the interesting ceremony which united Ophelia to her royal husband.

Various accounts were written and published at the time, but none of them by authority, and I am unwilling to trust to unauthorized narratives when dealing with a subject of such immense importance. That which it most concerns us to know, however, is that the wedding actually took place, which fact having been once ascertained, even the appearance of the bride and the dresses of the bridesmaids become matters of comparatively little moment Of this great fact there is happily no doubt.

King Famcram was legally married to Ophelia Pigspud after the custom of Pigmy marriages, and the maiden was undoubtedly Queen of the Pigmies. Her first act was at once gracious and becoming. She caused Binks and Chinks to be reinstated in their former offices, and arranged that pecuniary compensation should be given them for the losses they had sustained. Furthermore, she appointed Euphemia and Araminta Binks, together with the three daughters of the lord chamberlain, Asphalia, Bettina, and Paraphernalia, as her ladies in waiting, and promised to them and to herself that the court should ever be made the scene of gaieties and entertainments to which it had long been a stranger.

But however good were the motives of Ophelia, however kind her feeling towards these five young ladies, however pleasant her plans might have appeared to them under other circumstances, I am sorry to say that they neither believed in nor appreciated them.

Feelings of jealousy had sprung up within their tender breasts, from the first moment that they had found Ophelia preferred to the throne before themselves. Possessed, as has been related, of beauty, wit, and fascination in different degrees, but in the case of each of them, a superior degree to the generality of maidens, they felt that they had, each and all, as good a right to have shared the throne of Famcram as the more fortunate damsel who had obtained that position.

Instead, therefore, of being loyal to Ophelia, and grateful for her kindness towards them, they regarded her with envy and spite, and their beautiful faces but ill reflected the ugly feelings which occupied their hearts. Ignorant of this, Ophelia had forgotten her first fears and doubts upon the question of their release, and, unsuspicious of evil, kept one or other of the maidens constantly near her.

For a day or two all went well. The king kept in the same state of torpor, and his passive obedience to his wife made him, in the general opinion of Pigmy ladies, a model for all husbands. Ophelia, however, knowing the source from which her power was derived, kept her jar always at hand, so that she might be able to have immediate recourse to it if the occasion should arise. It was not extraordinary that, under these circumstances, her ladies in waiting should become acquainted with, and take notice of, the fact. It became, very shortly after their appointment, a matter of conversation amongst them, and of wonder that the Queen should always carry about with her a common looking little jar, of which they knew neither the use nor the contents.

Paraphernalia, the youngest and prettiest of the Chinks family, wished to ask a question about it outright, but the worldly wisdom of her elder sisters checked her, for they feared that their position at court might be imperilled by any forwardness or impertinence of the kind.

Whether Ophelia, if asked, would have given such information, or at least have dropped such hints, as might have prevented the occurrence of the facts I am about to relate, cannot now be known. The opportunity was not afforded her, and the five ladies in waiting remained in ignorance upon the subject.

On the third day after her marriage, Ophelia was to receive the ladies of the court and such of the fairer portion of Pigmyland as desired to be presented to her. She was richly arrayed in garments well suited to the occasion, and looked right royal as she stood to receive her guests. The king, with meek and submissive gait, stood by her side, and never had she looked more lovely or felt more triumphant. Resolved, however, to take care of safety as well as of appearance, she kept in her left hand the little jar, having a scarf lightly thrown over her arm and concealing it from view. It had not, however, escaped the sharp eyes of Paraphernalia Chinks, who determined in her own mind that the day should not pass by without her knowing something more about the evident mystery to which that jar related. The ladies in waiting were, naturally enough, near the queen, and stood looking on whilst those who were presented to her majesty trooped by, making their reverent obeisances as they did so.

After a while, Ophelia began to feel rather tired of bowing and smiling, but still continued graciously to do so, until an elderly dame in passing, tripped over her train and seemed in danger of falling. The queen made an involuntary movement forward as if to save her, and in so doing happened to loosen her hold upon the jar in her left hand. At the very same instant, Paraphernalia, who had been watching her opportunity all the time, started forward as if to assist her majesty, and, as if by accident, gave a violent push to her left arm, when, sad to relate, the jar fell from her hand upon the marble pavement at her feet, and was instantly broken in pieces.

At the sight of the contents, which appeared to be ordinary jam, the ladies-in-waiting could hardly restrain themselves from exclamations of surprise, and all the more so when they perceived the pallor which immediately overspread the countenance of the queen. But their attention was at once directed to something else.

Scarcely had the accident happened, and the jar slipped from Ophelia's grasp and met with the fate I have described, when a great and marvellous change came over the appearance and demeanour of the king. No longer meek and subdued, his countenance flushed with rage, his squinting appeared more furiously malicious than ever, and he stood before the Court, not the obedient slave and husband, but once more the tyrant Famcram, restored to his former self.

He passed his hand across his brow, as if to sweep away from him some unpleasant memories, and then glared fiercely around him for a minute without uttering a syllable. There was a dead silence. Everybody feared some dreadful outburst, and nobody knew what to expect.

Then Famcram broke forth in fury—

"What sorcery is here?" he cried. "What witchcraft has been going on? What drab is this whom I see beside me assuming a place as if she were queen? Who are these over-dressed peacocks on every side? Toads, vipers, serpents! Ho, guards! away with them!" and again he looked with frightful grimaces upon those who stood about him.

Binks, Chinks, and Pigspud fell instantly on their knees, all in a row. The ladies-in-waiting, between trembling and fainting, did nothing for the moment, whilst Ophelia, recognising at once that her power of compulsion was gone, resolved to make an instant appeal to the better feelings of the king.

"Sire," she said, turning round and confronting him with dignity, "I am your lawful queen. Three days ago you wedded me, and I share your throne. Pray let us govern with justice and mercy, and you shall never have cause to repent of having elevated me to this position."

"Position! You! Throne! Queen!Usgovern!" shrieked Famcram at the top of his voice, now perfectly beside himself with fury. "You fool! You idiot! You jackanapes! You witch! You vile creature!Youa queen, forsooth! Out upon your folly, that led you to try and deceive Famcram. Seize her, guards!" he continued; "seize the whole lot of them! Strip off their fine robes, and away with them to the palace dungeons! We will soon see who is to be king and master here!"

As he spoke, the obedient guards came forward; and, in spite of all that Ophelia could do or say, stripped her of her ornaments, and cloak of rich fur, took from her head the crown with which the queens of that country were always decorated on state occasions, and began to drag her away.

Famcram grinned with malicious spite as he saw her in the hands of his rough attendants.

"Ah!" said he, "this isrealjam, now!" and from these casual words of the king sprang an expression which has now become proverbial in that country, indicating some special pleasure or remarkably gratifying incident.

Ophelia was not alone in her misfortune. Her five ladies-in-waiting were all seized at the same time, their fine clothing taken from them, and themselves conveyed back again to the same dungeons which they had previously occupied, and which the wretched Ophelia now shared with them.

Their behaviour to the fallen queen was, I am sorry to say, neither ladylike nor generous. Forgetful of the fact that it was to her they had owed their liberty, and that she had shown them all possible kindness during her brief period of prosperity, they only remembered that it was through her discomfiture that they were themselves suffering at the moment They overwhelmed her with reproaches, in which Paraphernalia, herself the real cause of their joint misfortune, was especially forward, and not content with this, the three daughters of Chinks set upon her, cuffed her, scratched her, slapped her, pulled her hair, and vowed that they would do much worse before they had done with her.

Paraphernalia went so far as to suggest cutting off all her hair, and spoiling her beauty by burning or otherwise marking her face; but the others had hardly come to such a state of wickedness and malice as this, although they joined in making the poor girl more miserable than she would otherwise have been, and showed a want of consideration and good feeling which was much to be blamed.

The discomfort and misery of all the ladies were, as may be supposed, considerable; nor was their condition at all improved by the news that Famcram had resolved that the parents of the three families, Binks, Chinks, and Pigspud, should be executed in the public market place within three days. This news, conveyed to them by some of those officious persons who always like to bring unpleasant tidings, if only that they may watch their effects upon the people they are likely to make unhappy, plunged all six ladies into the deepest sorrow.

Nor was the next piece of news at all calculated to lighten the burden of affliction which weighed them down. Famcram sent a special messenger to inform the captives that they should all suffer the extreme penalty of the law also. At first he had declared that they should be publicly whipped in the square opposite the palace, and afterwards be beheaded, but upon an earnest representation being made to him by a deputation from the anti-flogging society, who were numerous in the city, he consented to forego that part of the punishment, and to have them sewn up in sacks and thrown into the river, which was a form of punishment much in vogue in that part of the world.

Resolved, however, to make them suffer as much as possible, he directed that their execution should take place upon the day preceding that of their fathers, and that the latter should be obliged to tie the mouths of the sacks, and roll their own children into the water.

The girls heard this doom with horror, but there was no way of averting it. On the morning of the day on which the sentence was to be carried into effect, the daughters of Chinks became more furious than ever against Ophelia, and declared that she ought to be scratched to death in the dungeon, and not share the fate of honourable damsels like themselves. But a better spirit had come over Euphemia and Araminta, the daughters of the late Prime Minister.

They had felt some compunction at the treatment of Ophelia by their friends and prison companions, and had not joined in the personal attack which had been led by Paraphernalia. And when they remembered how Ophelia had behaved as queen, and saw how meekly she bore the cruel insults now heaped upon her by the others, they spoke out boldly, and interfered to prevent further violence.

So the hours passed by until the afternoon arrived, and all six ladies, having a thick coarse white sheet cast round each of them, as if about to stand and do penance, were led forth from the palace dungeons and taken to the appointed place of execution.

Everything had been arranged under the direct orders of the tyrant himself. Marshalled two and two between their guards, the poor girls found that they had to pass through a crowd of gaping and staring people, and to walk over the mud and stones upon their bare feet.

Their beauty attracted general notice, but Ophelia's form and bearing made by far the greatest impression upon the bystanders.

Side by side she walked by Euphemia Binks, but the latter's beauty was entirely eclipsed by that of the late queen. The daughter of Pigspud walked with a royal air—upright, majestic in figure, with a look of resignation and yet contempt of fate—she excited an universal feeling of pity and admiration.

Low murmurs were heard among the crowd, and whispers which, had they come to Famcram's ears, would certainly have caused the whisperers trouble. The tyrant, however, was so much feared, and the loyalty of Pigmies is ever so devoted, even when their sovereign is one whom no one can love or respect, that no sign of an outbreak was shown.

Slowly the mournful procession marched upon its way, until it reached the road leading directly to the river.

At this moment the great cathedral bell began to toll, filling the hearts of those who heard it with a certain awful feeling impossible to be described in words, which was increased in intensity when men in black garments, with masks over their faces, appeared, carrying the sacks which were to be employed in the execution of the unhappy maidens.

With a refinement of cruelty, the brutal tyrant had directed that the procession should turn aside and pass through the hall of the Chief Justice's house, so that Ophelia in her disgrace and misery, should be made to look upon the place in which her recent but shortlived triumph had occurred. So they marched into the house and through the great banqueting-room, and out into the gardens, and as they slowly descended to the river, again the solemn deep death-warning clang of the cathedral bell sounded in their ears, and the girls knew that now indeed their end was very near.

Close to the spot which he had fixed for the execution, in a magnificent arm-chair upon a kind of temporary dais erected for the occasion, sat Famcram himself, uglier than ever, with his crown upon his head, and the famous sceptre in his hand. As the procession drew near he arose from his chair, around which stood his principal courtiers, whilst at a little distance might be observed the wretched Binks, Chinks, and Pigspud, each guarded by two armed attendants.

When the ladies had approached quite close to the king, he grinned upon them with more than his usual malice, and began to sneer at and abuse them.

"Is this our queen?" he asked in a jeering tone. "The queen that was to share our throne, and it was to be 'us' who would govern, was it not? Poor wretch! the bed of the river will soon be your royal couch, and you shall share it with the eels—if" (and here he grinned horribly) "they can make their way through the sack which will hold your lovely form.Youto be queen, you nasty, staring, goggle-eyed vixen! And here come our Prime Minister's and Lord Chamberlain's children! Pretty ducklings, you shall be sown up nice and tight, and your own fathers shall give you to the pike and the rats. Nice tender morsels for these ye will be!"

To these taunts the poor girls made no reply, and the tyrant continued to insult them, having ordered the procession to stand still for the purpose. And still the great bell tolled on.

They had stopped very near to the river, and now, at a signal from the king, the men clothed in black came forward with the sacks, the white sheets were taken from the fair shoulders of the victims, and each was thrust into her sack in the dishevelled garments she wore, and left there for a few moments until the unhappy fathers should perform the duties assigned to them.

Up to this time Ophelia had kept silence. She despised the wretched Famcram too much to condescend to answer his taunts. If death was to be met, she would meet it like a true daughter of Pigspud, and her ancient lineage should never be disgraced by her behaviour.

But, at this extreme moment, a ray of hope darted suddenly into her heart. Where was she? Upon the very spot where she had received the mystic jar which had worked for her such wonders. The place was the same—the hour, though not so late, was possibly not unpropitious, for the sun was beginning to sink behind the higher buildings of the city. Was it impossible that the same power which had helped her before might again befriend her? The effort was at least worth making, and failure could make matters no worse.

So, even in the sack, before it was closed over her head, with enemies seemingly all around, and death staring her in the face, Ophelia lifted up her head and looking towards the river, slowly pronounced these words.

Back to Index Next