V"While I tossed on the bed, vainly trying to piece this broken logic together, I heard someone moving on the opposite side of the house. Bert and I were alone in the bungalow. He, too, had been kept awake by the excitement of our meeting. Soon he began to pace softly up and down the far side of the verandah. I was debating in my mind the wisdom of going out to have another smoke with him, when his footsteps seemed to leave the porch and sink into the grass. In a moment I heard low voices outside, a little distance from the house. I couldn't make out what was being said. Suddenly I thought that someone must have come with a message from the ship. I jumped up and ran to the window."My window opened on the patch of moonlight across which I'd come earlier in the evening. He stood there now, as if waiting; and, before I could speak, a woman came toward him with a gliding, crouching step, starting out of the very shadow where I'd paused to hear the song. As she drew near, he held out his arms; she quickened her pace, like a jungle deer, and flung herself on his breast, uttering low, native cries. 'You are safe? You will not go?' she asked breathlessly. 'Safe?' he asked, bending above her 'Have you been watching?' She looked into his face with a glance of infinite concern. 'The man stood beside me, as I was about to call' said she 'I would have killed him, but I saw that you were warned' 'Thank God!' he exclaimed 'You should have known—and gone away' She drew her arms about his neck. 'I could not go!' she cried 'I had to see you!' 'Hush!' said he 'Speak lower—you will wake my friend'"She used perfect English, though her language was picturesque. 'Your friend? Who is your friend?' she asked fiercely 'In all the time that you have dwelt here, no ships have waited, you have had no friends come. Who is your friend that comes in a great ship, unknown and unbidden?' He smiled down at her. 'Dear heart' said he 'he is more than brother to me, and I have not seen him for many years'"She shrank away from him. 'Ah!' she cried 'Then he will take you—you will go?'"'No, not yet' he told her 'Not, perhaps, for a long time'"'But you will go?' she persisted 'Some day you will not be here—and, for me, the sun will fail to rise, and the moon and stars will grow cold, and all light will die—and you will not be here!'"'I have told you, dear, it must be so' said he. 'You knew it long ago'"Again her arms clasped him. 'No, no!' she cried 'I cannot let you! You are mine! Stay here. It is a fair land—and am I not fair?' She touched her breast 'You will not look at me!' said she."'I dare not!'"'Then look!' she whispered."I saw him take her in his arms. So he had found ... this, beyond what he had hoped. Another wave of irritation at his heartlessness swept over me. I turned away angrily—then paused a moment, considering the true nature of the phenomenon that had appeared before me as if out of the sky. I felt that he hadn't sought this new entanglement. No, but he had evidently accepted it. Yet the woman had furnished the motive force, literally had flung herself at his head. Nonsense!—why be a prudish ass? It wasn't in the least a matter of morals; why persist, then, in viewing it on the moral plane? Incurable habit of conventionality, never so strong as when we strive to be unconventional! Here was a meeting of instincts and elements, a transaction in lucid terms, according to a simple formula. It was a phase of God's excruciating biological experiment. She wanted him alone, and had taken her way to get him. He was receptive, for he wanted love. Could she have awakened love in him, he would not have denied it. Failing that, he would be forced to seek elsewhere. In the meantime, why repel divine experience? ... But the shocking callousness of this experiment! While he dallied, detached and unconcerned, his life had been refreshed as if at a fountain of vitality. His heart sang with the knowledge that she loved him; he was happy, whole, and conscious of his power again. He'd said that he had recovered his self-respect—a curious choice of words, in view of the occasion; but now I understood what he had meant.... This had been her priceless gift to him."A quick exclamation outside drew me again to the window—could you fellows have kept away? He was trying to disengage her arms from about his neck. 'It cannot be!' said he decisively 'It is impossible! So, to save greater pain, I will go at once'"She clung to him desperately. 'I do not understand' she cried."'Dear heart' he answered 'I have seen too much, and failed too miserably, to want the spell to fall on you. All that I touch turns to ashes; whoever enters my life is cursed with my own pain'"She gazed deeply into his eyes. 'I am not afraid' said she 'It is for this I love. For what is past, I have no memory. To-day lives, to-morrow we carry with us like a child unborn, but yesterday is dead. What do you seek? Love? Have I not given you all?' She threw out her arm in a sweeping gesture 'My love will never fail!' she cried."'I prize your love above all else' said he."'What do you seek?' she cried again, springing away, confronting him with a savage crouching intensity. 'Faith? Happiness? Peace? All are here. My people will honour you, for I am noble in the hills. What do you seek? Ask, and I will give!'"He leaned toward her, held her at arm's length, returned her gaze. I heard him heave a sigh."'It is because you do not love!' said she quite low 'Before Allah, am I not fair? Why have I not your love? Look—we are alone. See how I hold you, feel my heart here, behold my eyes—ah!' Her face was close to his. 'If love lay in your heart, you could not stand thus' she whispered."'Stop!' he cried 'You cannot see...'"'I cannot see, my eyes are dim with love!'"He thrust her away suddenly, as if in fear. 'Listen' said he in a dead voice 'For many years I have followed a woman who would not love me. To the ends of the earth I have followed her, until I am weary, and heartsick, and must forget. I have left my home, I have forsaken my friends. But now I must return. Dear heart' said he 'if I were young and full of hope, I would not stand here idly, I would stay with you. But I have nothing left to offer. An old heart—broken—a brain without fire...'"'I will make well the heart, and fire the brain!' she cried."He swayed toward her, met her in a brief embrace—then broke away. She gave a little cry. 'You will not?' said she 'I cannot ask again'"'Dear, it is not to hurt you...' he began 'Why won't you understand?' He covered his face with his hands 'Oh, God, why can't I make you understand?'"She pointed toward the house. 'It is because your friend has come' said she fiercely 'Never before have you been as to-night. Never before have you refused me. He brings you memory, and now you think of home. I should have killed him when I stood at his side!' She fell back a step, a savage figure, magnificently tall 'So—you have chosen' said she 'This which I offer, you throw down. What is it that you seek? What will you find? Is love so strong in your land, are nights like this, is happiness so deep? In convent-school I learned otherwise' He put out his hand; she drew away like a wild creature. 'No! It is done' she cried."A moment passed. He stood irresolute, the plaything of fate, while she devoured him with her eyes. Then, with a swift motion, she left him standing in the grass, and ran toward the shadow. He started to follow. She must have turned at the border of the jungle; I couldn't see her clearly, but she seemed to make a violent gesture, and the moonlight struck sharply on a bracelet that she wore"VI"Bert spent the following day with me aboard the ship; I had decided to remain another night in Anjer. We found much to talk about, but didn't approach the incident outside my window that morning; although I'd felt certain that he, not suspecting my awareness, would broach the subject. In fact, I more than once adroitly guided the conversation in this direction; but his mouth was closed. This gave me both alarm and satisfaction; at least, he took the affair with the seriousness that it deserved."Late in the afternoon, as we sat here under a little patch of awning spread from the spanker boom, we sighted a small barque to the westward, coming up the straits. She'd just appeared beyond the lower point, some three or four miles distant. Watching her idly through the glass—-I had a powerful telescope—I seemed to find something familiar about her; and a little later, when she had drifted another mile nearer, I suddenly recognized the craft. 'That's Halsted, in his little packet' I remarked 'Her name's theSenegal. You must have seen her before, if you've been here over six months. He makes two trips a year'"Bert took the glass from my hand. 'I can't remember' said he after a moment's scrutiny 'Ships look all alike to me. Where has she come from? You seem to know about her'"'Why, Australia, of course!' I exclaimed, suddenly remembering his own point of departure for Anjer 'You must have seen this little barque in Melbourne, if you were familiar with the waterfront. Halsted runs a sort of packet service from there to Singapore'"'Halsted, Halsted' said Bert 'No, I think I've never met anyone of that name—certainly not there. Look, Nichols, he seems to have run into a strip of calm'"'Yes, and that strip of calm will spread until it covers the straits' I answered 'I know the box he's in—he's just about an hour too late. There's a nasty current off the point, with a tide-rip on the ebb. He'll drift away from us for several hours, then slip back in the night, when he picks up the land breeze'"After supper we went ashore. I planned to sail in the morning, but should be down the China Sea again in three months' time. Bert had promised to make his arrangements in the meanwhile, and to leave Anjer with me on my return. I'd urged him to come at once, and would have waited a day or two longer, but he wouldn't listen to it. It was another calm, hazy evening, with no wind on the water, but a faint languorous breeze among the palms. We sat on the verandah planning the future, if you please; he seemed to want to talk about the world, and I felt it best to encourage the inclination."'Well, old man' said he at last 'I've got to turn in. I'm weary to the bone—didn't sleep well last night, at all. This has been an exciting time for me, you know'"'Go ahead, and leave me here to finish out my smoke' I answered 'I'll be all right—I know my way about'"To tell the truth, I welcomed the opportunity to sit for a while alone, in the midst of the luminous night, close to the land. Perhaps I might achieve the hint of a solution; I was baffled and pained by the tremendous vital difficulties I'd observed. The wind had risen; it swept down the hillside in a solid breath of sweetness, softly clashing together the broad leaves of the palms. Halsted, it occurred to me in a wandering moment, would now be creeping up under the lee of the land. I drew my chair to the edge of the verandah. The scene of the previous night stood vividly before me; I couldn't keep my eyes away from that region of heavy shadow, where she stood at my elbow undecided whether to kill me or let me go. Suddenly I started; was there a movement in the shadow? I watched it narrowly—-and, by Jove, in a moment she actually materialized there, as if in answer to my thoughts; advanced, became substantial, and moved into the moonlight, coming swiftly in my direction. I remained seated, chained to my chair. She came to the railing and put her hand lightly on my arm, as if administering caution. Her eyes were level with mine."'I must see you' said she in a repressed voice 'I have waited for him to go'"'Me?' I exclaimed, for my first thought had been that she'd mistaken the figure on the verandah 'What do you want of me?'"'Like you, I am his friend' she answered simply."'Yes?...' I parried. Face to face with her, I saw how beautiful she was. She had the golden Malay skin, dusky, full, smooth as dark marble; across her brow she wore an ornament of ivory and carved blackwood; her breast was bare in a long slit, shadowed like the face of a quiet pool. The moonlight revealed her, the jungle stood at her back: and through her hand on my arm I felt the blood of the East, rustling like water in the hills after a tropical rain."I stood up abruptly. 'All are his friends' said I. She lifted her eyebrows. 'Has it been thus?' she asked with meaning. I nodded, marvelling meanwhile at her admirable directness; a woman pure as diamond, true as steel. She lived, like light, in instantaneous collimation. 'Yes' said I 'he has found many friends'"She pondered the fact. 'But none have loved him with the heart?' Was it a question, or a statement? 'Many' I answered 'but none gained the answer' 'None?' she asked, searchingly 'You know, and I can only repeat what is true' said I 'His heart is given to one who wears it on a chain for play'"She trembled at the thought. 'Where is she?' she demanded. I told her that I didn't know. 'Not ... home?' she asked 'Not there?...' She stretched out a hand vaguely. 'Oh, no' said I, relieved to be able to speak an open word 'Then it is not for her that he goes?' she cried, pathetically relieved. 'No' said I again. She leaned toward me, as if to make a critical examination. 'Why have you come, to change and take him from me?' she asked bitterly. 'I came by chance, without knowing' I answered 'It is the hand of destiny' Throwing back her head, with a passionate gesture she flung an uplifted arm across her eyes. 'Is she so beautiful?' she cried in a low voice, like one pleading with fate."I heard a slight movement behind me, and whirled, to find Bert standing in the doorway. He gazed from one to the other of us in troubled silence; then crossed the porch and stood beside me at the rail. She heard his step, and turned, a superb figure, her uplifted arm still shading her eyes."'Nichols, I'm awfully sorry...' he began weakly."'Ah!' she cried, her arrow-like candour tearing the veil he would have dropped. She went to him swiftly. 'All day I have wandered in the hills' said she 'All day I have thought of your choice. I have asked the forest, why? and the mountains, why? and the great ocean, why? I have held up my hands to the white clouds, to the sun of life and wisdom, asking why, why? Now I have come to you—and him—to ask you, why? My Love' said she softly 'I think it is that you do not understand, and your words fall without knowledge. You are the light of life to me, and the breath of the body. I cannot live alone. You have taken my heart from my breast, and now would carry it with you to a strange land, where it would perish and die. But these are words—you cannot mean them. You will not go. See how I hold you fast!'"He gazed at her in trepidation. 'It is decided' said he 'When the ship returns, I am to go' 'Then I shall follow!' she told him. 'I shall go with you ... home' He snatched his hands away. 'Oh, no, you can't!' he shouted 'It isn't what you think' 'Blind one' she answered 'would I not be near you?' He started violently; she took his lands again. 'Then stay with me, here in my land, which waits for us alone. Stay with me in these nights that never end!'"He sighed profoundly. 'It would soon be over....'"'When it had ended, we could die' she whispered 'I would gladly die thus, having lived for a time. Stay with me till love grows cold!'"He pushed her off like one dazed and distracted. For a long while he stood perfectly motionless. 'Stay!' she whispered once more 'Be quiet—let me think' said he. She pressed against the railing. 'Look down!' said she 'To-night we live—but there may be no to-morrow!' While she was speaking, clear and sharp across the water came the rattle of a falling anchor-chain."He seemed to stiffen where he stood. His face in the moonlight looked sterner than its wont, set in the struggle that came hard to him. 'No!' he cried in a loud voice. The word seemed to echo among the palms, a tragic whisper of universal negation. She gazed at him a moment in naked terror—then tottered and sank slowly to the ground, uttering little stifled cries. I saw him leap the railing and kneel beside her; but I didn't wait for more. I'd stayed too long already; and what was coming would be harder than what had gone."It must have been fully an hour later, after I'd lost the path and threshed around in the jungle until I was tired out, that I succeeded in regaining the bungalow. Bert was sitting on the porch, alone. I dropped into a chair beside him. 'Too bad, old man' said he, observing the state of my white linens 'It was decent of you, though'"'Yes, we're a decent breed, aren't we?' I snapped in reply 'Anyway, let's not balance a heart against an hour of discomfort and a suit of clothes' He turned his head and looked me over. 'I can't say that I blame you' he exclaimed 'But honestly, old man, I think she will forget' 'I don't' said I 'Did you?' He winced, but I went on angrily 'You ought to know better by this time. You've had a double experience now—the chaser and the chased....' 'Hold on, Nichols!' he interrupted 'You're getting unpardonable. What would you have me do? Do you want me to stay here and live with her?' 'No, I don't!' I shouted 'I merely want a revision of life and human nature—no one to be unhappy, no love to go unrequited, no heart to be thrown away' He laughed. 'I'd like that, too' said he."The silence lengthened between us, as we gazed across the placid harbour, thinking our own thoughts. In the brilliant moonlight, every object in the roadstead was plainly discernible. 'I see your friend has arrived' said Bert suddenly 'He's anchored pretty close to your vessel. By Jove, that must have been his chain..' 'It was' I answered, musing on the fortuitousness of events that shape our lives. 'Now he seems to be getting a boat into the water. Where are your night glasses?' In a moment Bert brought them to me. Aboard the new arrival there was an unaccountable flurry, but I couldn't make out the scene below the rail. In a short while, however, a boat appeared out of the shadow there, and swam toward us through the bright moonlight. 'I wonder why he's coming ashore, at this time of night' I murmured. 'Can't imagine' Bert replied. Soon we heard the chunking of oars in the rowlocks, and two or three quick commands. The boat was nearing the beach. She passed for a moment behind the point of the jetty. Now she had reached the landing. A confusion of voices broke out, loud and jarring, pitched in a key of anger and violence. Then, cutting the stillness like a knife, came a sudden sharp cry."My heart leaped into my mouth. 'My God, did you hear that?' asked Bert, breathlessly. 'Keep still—it sounded like a woman's voice' said I. We leaned across the rail, straining our eyes, but couldn't see what was taking place; the landing lay too close under the trees. After the cry, an absolute silence had fallen. This lasted a full minute. Then a man's voice started up, the same angry, jarring tone 'Give way, boys!' Almost immediately, we heard the sound of the oars again."The unexpectedness of the occurrence had held us spellbound; we stood gazing at each other like two wooden images. Then, in the same instant, we found our voices, began to confer hurriedly, and started on the run for the centre of the verandah, where a broad flight of steps led down to the jetty path. At the head of the path we both halted as if transfixed. Someone was coming up from the landing. The moonlight plainly showed it to be a woman. She advanced slowly, stopping now and then, staggering as she walked. When she drew nearer, we could see that she was hatless and empty-handed. She walked like a somnambulist, gazing fixedly on the ground before her, now and then holding out a hand as if to feel the way. At the last turn of the path, she stopped and raised her head. Bert, at my side, made a low strangling sound. Evidently discovering us, she started forward again. Her face was quite terrible. All hope seemed gone from it, like the dead face of a suicide that I once saw; her eyes stared at us blankly, and she clutched with one hand at the bosom of her dress."'Who is there?' she asked brokenly."Bert left my side and flung himself toward her. 'Helen!' he cried. She would have fallen, but he caught her in his arms. 'Helen!' said he again, with his face close to hers."'Bert?' she asked in eager fearfulness. Her low voice seemed to tear the heart. She gazed at him long and deep, while desperation turned to wonder in her eyes."For the second time that evening I fled the scene of life's amazing hazard. This time I hurried down the path with all haste, making for the jetty; by shouting, I should be able to raise the ship and have a boat sent ashore for me. As I glanced back at the corner, I saw Bert help the woman up the steps. I thought I heard her sobbing; but, in a moment, I realized that the sound came from another direction. Off among the trees, in the heavy shadow, someone was uttering smothered, choking cries. I broke into a run. The ways of the land were getting too damnably complicated altogether; I wanted to surround myself again with a safe strip of water.VIINichols reached for another cigar. "And that's the way he found her" he went on "For it wouldn't be true to say that she had found him; until the moment in front of the bungalow when he took her in his arms, she hadn't dreamed that he was there."I heard the final chapter of their romance while we were going up the China Sea; I'd waited for him, after all, and had taken them both north with me. After Bert had left Melbourne, she had missed him, and had awakened to the realization that she'd driven him out of her life. So she discovered what it meant to her, what she'd been doing, and bowed before the law that through any wrong keeps the heart pure and the spirit ready to fulfil itself. She had determined to follow, but couldn't locate him. Some said he was in Singapore, some in Hong Kong; the consensus of many vague rumours, however, agreed that he had gone north into the China Sea region. It was familiar ground to her; she had friends there, and sources of information. She's always known of Halsted's packet service; the next time he came around, she had taken passage in theSenegalfor an indeterminate trip up the coast."Unfortunately, Halsted also knew of her. He was a beastly sort of character. The moment they got outside he grew familiar, and soon was making forthright approaches. She was the only woman on the vessel; the other passenger was an elderly man, to whom she couldn't hope to look for protection. She, of course, was a woman of experience, as capable of protecting herself as is humanly possible; but there are limits to the power of the mind over brute force, when passion is engaged. Make no mistake—her aversion from him was virginal, and nothing could have induced her submission."'I took my revolver on deck one morning, to show him my marksmanship' said she 'I shot a bird on the end of the spanker gaff. Then I got him on one side, and told him what I would do. I told him that I should be constantly on the watch, and that I would shoot him dead if he came near me. It was the only way—but I knew he was a coward'"So this was the situation on board theSenegal—on the one hand defiance, on the other baulked and fermenting desire. Halsted watched her as a cat watches a mouse, trying to catch her off guard. Throughout the afternoon while they had been coming up the straits, even while my glass had been looking them over, the silent battle had been going on. The presence of the land had filled her with nameless apprehension. Then they had run into the calm; in this condition, the supper hour had arrived. She had waited on deck until she thought the others would be nearly finished; when she entered the forward cabin, she saw that she had waited too long. The mate and the old gentleman had gone on deck forward; Halsted sat there alone. She had to pass him to reach her seat. As she attempted to slip by, he rose suddenly and crushed her in his arms. The Chinese steward in the pantry turned his back on the scene."'My hand fell on a table knife' said she 'I fought him with it—succeeded in cutting him badly about the hands. The blood frightened him; he had to let me go. I've never seen a human being in such a dreadful rage. He swore he wouldn't keep me on board an hour longer'"The rage had persisted; as soon as the sails had been furled, after dropping the anchor, he had put a boat overboard and bundled her into it, bag and baggage—well he knew that she was in no position to make trouble for him. She had thought of trying to attract the attention of the other vessel, but finally had decided that she had better take her chances on land. She had supposed there were white people ashore; at the landing, where her things had been pitched at her feet, she had asked Halsted the way to the settlement. When he'd told her brutally what an abandoned place it was, she'd suddenly lost heart. It was then that we had heard her cry out."'Go up to the consulate bungalow' Halsted had told her 'See the lights? Somebody must live up there'"So she had climbed the hill, trusting to luck, which had already arranged the scene. It might have been vastly different, you know. Suppose she had found him with the native woman? Well, suppose it—the renunciation would merely have changed hands. Inexorable formula!—for them, one or the other; for him, heads I win, tails you lose"VIIINichols went to the rail, and stood for some time in silence, facing the land. "And I have seen the other" said he slowly "It was about a year later that my course led me again through Sunda Straits, and I arrived at Anjer on another evening of moonlight and stillness and awakened memory. After the anchor was down I ordered a boat to be set overboard, and went ashore in the late evening to revisit the bungalow. As I went up the path, the shadows seemed to start and move about me, and a wandering breeze stirred the palm trees with a quick rustle as of departing feet. I found the wreck of a rattan chair standing on the verandah, pulled it to the railing, and sat there a long while facing the oval of grass flooded with moonlight, the fixed scene, as it were, where the actors of this unseen drama had stalked through their extravagant business and said their futile words."Nothing had changed; I seemed as if I had left the place but yesterday. I turned to the heavy shadow where I had seen and heard her last, the shadow that must have marked the end of a hillside trail; and it wasn't surprising to me, but only natural, to see her standing there once more, her form drawn back as if from a sight she didn't dare behold. In a moment the tense figure moved. She walked like a tiger, with a crouching step of absolute grace, cautious yet unafraid. Crossing the oval, she came directly to the railing. I got up hastily, in excitement and alarm; and we faced each other without speaking for quite a period."'You?...' said she at last in a low voice, drawing back. Her hand tightened on the rail. She was regally beautiful."'For what do you wait?' I asked, striving to be calm."She threw down her arms with a violent gesture. 'A word, a message!' she cried 'Can you tell me nothing? Has he come?'"'He is far away' I answered."She put her hand on mine. 'You are his friend' said she 'I do not blame you now; I see that it rested with him alone. But keep nothing from me. Has he sent no word by you?'"'He does not know that I have come' said I."'Ah, I have waited, night upon night!' she cried 'Whenever ships stop, I have waited here—in darkness, in rain—always!—thinking to see you, or that he might come, or that a message.... Will he not come? Tell me!'"'He will never come' said I."She drew her hand away, and stepped back sharply. Her voice rang out, fierce with hate. 'He was a child. The woman took him! Tell me, why?...'"'The woman was his wife' I felt obliged to say."'Enough!' she cried. Her form became rigid, as if every muscle were stretched to the point of breaking. Suddenly she relaxed, and turned to me for the last time."'He is happy?' she asked quietly."I nodded—for the moment I couldn't speak."'She loves him?'"Again I nodded."Her voice caught at the next question, but rallied bravely. 'He loves her?—you are sure?...'"I cursed myself for having come—but there could be no kindness in sustaining the delusion. 'I am certain' I answered 'He will never tire of her. He loves her better than all the world'"She gave a quick cry, like one who has received a mortal wound. Before I could recognize the significance of the moment, she had moved swiftly into the open. For an instant she stood with arms outstretched; but not until the dagger flashed above her breast did I see what she held in her hand. When I reached her she'd fallen in the rank grass, and life had gone."And that's the way I left her, a figure very beautiful, crouching low as if to spring, the tall grass closing over her, the mystery dissolved in mystery. Aha!—these high spirits, this gruelling difficulty of life. But she, you'll note, had solved the difficulty, had met it boldly and triumphantly, with the master stroke that levels fate itself to the dust. As for the others, they had solved it, too, though not so keenly, had triumphed, though not so magnificently—had gone away, had found their home, were happy, for a little longer.... What did it signify?"PRINTED IN GREAT BRITAIN BYTHE NORTHUMBERLAND PRESS LTD.WATERLOO HOUSE, THORNTON STREET,NEWCASTLE-UPON-TYNE*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOKUNDER SAIL***
V
"While I tossed on the bed, vainly trying to piece this broken logic together, I heard someone moving on the opposite side of the house. Bert and I were alone in the bungalow. He, too, had been kept awake by the excitement of our meeting. Soon he began to pace softly up and down the far side of the verandah. I was debating in my mind the wisdom of going out to have another smoke with him, when his footsteps seemed to leave the porch and sink into the grass. In a moment I heard low voices outside, a little distance from the house. I couldn't make out what was being said. Suddenly I thought that someone must have come with a message from the ship. I jumped up and ran to the window.
"My window opened on the patch of moonlight across which I'd come earlier in the evening. He stood there now, as if waiting; and, before I could speak, a woman came toward him with a gliding, crouching step, starting out of the very shadow where I'd paused to hear the song. As she drew near, he held out his arms; she quickened her pace, like a jungle deer, and flung herself on his breast, uttering low, native cries. 'You are safe? You will not go?' she asked breathlessly. 'Safe?' he asked, bending above her 'Have you been watching?' She looked into his face with a glance of infinite concern. 'The man stood beside me, as I was about to call' said she 'I would have killed him, but I saw that you were warned' 'Thank God!' he exclaimed 'You should have known—and gone away' She drew her arms about his neck. 'I could not go!' she cried 'I had to see you!' 'Hush!' said he 'Speak lower—you will wake my friend'
"She used perfect English, though her language was picturesque. 'Your friend? Who is your friend?' she asked fiercely 'In all the time that you have dwelt here, no ships have waited, you have had no friends come. Who is your friend that comes in a great ship, unknown and unbidden?' He smiled down at her. 'Dear heart' said he 'he is more than brother to me, and I have not seen him for many years'
"She shrank away from him. 'Ah!' she cried 'Then he will take you—you will go?'
"'No, not yet' he told her 'Not, perhaps, for a long time'
"'But you will go?' she persisted 'Some day you will not be here—and, for me, the sun will fail to rise, and the moon and stars will grow cold, and all light will die—and you will not be here!'
"'I have told you, dear, it must be so' said he. 'You knew it long ago'
"Again her arms clasped him. 'No, no!' she cried 'I cannot let you! You are mine! Stay here. It is a fair land—and am I not fair?' She touched her breast 'You will not look at me!' said she.
"'I dare not!'
"'Then look!' she whispered.
"I saw him take her in his arms. So he had found ... this, beyond what he had hoped. Another wave of irritation at his heartlessness swept over me. I turned away angrily—then paused a moment, considering the true nature of the phenomenon that had appeared before me as if out of the sky. I felt that he hadn't sought this new entanglement. No, but he had evidently accepted it. Yet the woman had furnished the motive force, literally had flung herself at his head. Nonsense!—why be a prudish ass? It wasn't in the least a matter of morals; why persist, then, in viewing it on the moral plane? Incurable habit of conventionality, never so strong as when we strive to be unconventional! Here was a meeting of instincts and elements, a transaction in lucid terms, according to a simple formula. It was a phase of God's excruciating biological experiment. She wanted him alone, and had taken her way to get him. He was receptive, for he wanted love. Could she have awakened love in him, he would not have denied it. Failing that, he would be forced to seek elsewhere. In the meantime, why repel divine experience? ... But the shocking callousness of this experiment! While he dallied, detached and unconcerned, his life had been refreshed as if at a fountain of vitality. His heart sang with the knowledge that she loved him; he was happy, whole, and conscious of his power again. He'd said that he had recovered his self-respect—a curious choice of words, in view of the occasion; but now I understood what he had meant.... This had been her priceless gift to him.
"A quick exclamation outside drew me again to the window—could you fellows have kept away? He was trying to disengage her arms from about his neck. 'It cannot be!' said he decisively 'It is impossible! So, to save greater pain, I will go at once'
"She clung to him desperately. 'I do not understand' she cried.
"'Dear heart' he answered 'I have seen too much, and failed too miserably, to want the spell to fall on you. All that I touch turns to ashes; whoever enters my life is cursed with my own pain'
"She gazed deeply into his eyes. 'I am not afraid' said she 'It is for this I love. For what is past, I have no memory. To-day lives, to-morrow we carry with us like a child unborn, but yesterday is dead. What do you seek? Love? Have I not given you all?' She threw out her arm in a sweeping gesture 'My love will never fail!' she cried.
"'I prize your love above all else' said he.
"'What do you seek?' she cried again, springing away, confronting him with a savage crouching intensity. 'Faith? Happiness? Peace? All are here. My people will honour you, for I am noble in the hills. What do you seek? Ask, and I will give!'
"He leaned toward her, held her at arm's length, returned her gaze. I heard him heave a sigh.
"'It is because you do not love!' said she quite low 'Before Allah, am I not fair? Why have I not your love? Look—we are alone. See how I hold you, feel my heart here, behold my eyes—ah!' Her face was close to his. 'If love lay in your heart, you could not stand thus' she whispered.
"'Stop!' he cried 'You cannot see...'
"'I cannot see, my eyes are dim with love!'
"He thrust her away suddenly, as if in fear. 'Listen' said he in a dead voice 'For many years I have followed a woman who would not love me. To the ends of the earth I have followed her, until I am weary, and heartsick, and must forget. I have left my home, I have forsaken my friends. But now I must return. Dear heart' said he 'if I were young and full of hope, I would not stand here idly, I would stay with you. But I have nothing left to offer. An old heart—broken—a brain without fire...'
"'I will make well the heart, and fire the brain!' she cried.
"He swayed toward her, met her in a brief embrace—then broke away. She gave a little cry. 'You will not?' said she 'I cannot ask again'
"'Dear, it is not to hurt you...' he began 'Why won't you understand?' He covered his face with his hands 'Oh, God, why can't I make you understand?'
"She pointed toward the house. 'It is because your friend has come' said she fiercely 'Never before have you been as to-night. Never before have you refused me. He brings you memory, and now you think of home. I should have killed him when I stood at his side!' She fell back a step, a savage figure, magnificently tall 'So—you have chosen' said she 'This which I offer, you throw down. What is it that you seek? What will you find? Is love so strong in your land, are nights like this, is happiness so deep? In convent-school I learned otherwise' He put out his hand; she drew away like a wild creature. 'No! It is done' she cried.
"A moment passed. He stood irresolute, the plaything of fate, while she devoured him with her eyes. Then, with a swift motion, she left him standing in the grass, and ran toward the shadow. He started to follow. She must have turned at the border of the jungle; I couldn't see her clearly, but she seemed to make a violent gesture, and the moonlight struck sharply on a bracelet that she wore"
VI
"Bert spent the following day with me aboard the ship; I had decided to remain another night in Anjer. We found much to talk about, but didn't approach the incident outside my window that morning; although I'd felt certain that he, not suspecting my awareness, would broach the subject. In fact, I more than once adroitly guided the conversation in this direction; but his mouth was closed. This gave me both alarm and satisfaction; at least, he took the affair with the seriousness that it deserved.
"Late in the afternoon, as we sat here under a little patch of awning spread from the spanker boom, we sighted a small barque to the westward, coming up the straits. She'd just appeared beyond the lower point, some three or four miles distant. Watching her idly through the glass—-I had a powerful telescope—I seemed to find something familiar about her; and a little later, when she had drifted another mile nearer, I suddenly recognized the craft. 'That's Halsted, in his little packet' I remarked 'Her name's theSenegal. You must have seen her before, if you've been here over six months. He makes two trips a year'
"Bert took the glass from my hand. 'I can't remember' said he after a moment's scrutiny 'Ships look all alike to me. Where has she come from? You seem to know about her'
"'Why, Australia, of course!' I exclaimed, suddenly remembering his own point of departure for Anjer 'You must have seen this little barque in Melbourne, if you were familiar with the waterfront. Halsted runs a sort of packet service from there to Singapore'
"'Halsted, Halsted' said Bert 'No, I think I've never met anyone of that name—certainly not there. Look, Nichols, he seems to have run into a strip of calm'
"'Yes, and that strip of calm will spread until it covers the straits' I answered 'I know the box he's in—he's just about an hour too late. There's a nasty current off the point, with a tide-rip on the ebb. He'll drift away from us for several hours, then slip back in the night, when he picks up the land breeze'
"After supper we went ashore. I planned to sail in the morning, but should be down the China Sea again in three months' time. Bert had promised to make his arrangements in the meanwhile, and to leave Anjer with me on my return. I'd urged him to come at once, and would have waited a day or two longer, but he wouldn't listen to it. It was another calm, hazy evening, with no wind on the water, but a faint languorous breeze among the palms. We sat on the verandah planning the future, if you please; he seemed to want to talk about the world, and I felt it best to encourage the inclination.
"'Well, old man' said he at last 'I've got to turn in. I'm weary to the bone—didn't sleep well last night, at all. This has been an exciting time for me, you know'
"'Go ahead, and leave me here to finish out my smoke' I answered 'I'll be all right—I know my way about'
"To tell the truth, I welcomed the opportunity to sit for a while alone, in the midst of the luminous night, close to the land. Perhaps I might achieve the hint of a solution; I was baffled and pained by the tremendous vital difficulties I'd observed. The wind had risen; it swept down the hillside in a solid breath of sweetness, softly clashing together the broad leaves of the palms. Halsted, it occurred to me in a wandering moment, would now be creeping up under the lee of the land. I drew my chair to the edge of the verandah. The scene of the previous night stood vividly before me; I couldn't keep my eyes away from that region of heavy shadow, where she stood at my elbow undecided whether to kill me or let me go. Suddenly I started; was there a movement in the shadow? I watched it narrowly—-and, by Jove, in a moment she actually materialized there, as if in answer to my thoughts; advanced, became substantial, and moved into the moonlight, coming swiftly in my direction. I remained seated, chained to my chair. She came to the railing and put her hand lightly on my arm, as if administering caution. Her eyes were level with mine.
"'I must see you' said she in a repressed voice 'I have waited for him to go'
"'Me?' I exclaimed, for my first thought had been that she'd mistaken the figure on the verandah 'What do you want of me?'
"'Like you, I am his friend' she answered simply.
"'Yes?...' I parried. Face to face with her, I saw how beautiful she was. She had the golden Malay skin, dusky, full, smooth as dark marble; across her brow she wore an ornament of ivory and carved blackwood; her breast was bare in a long slit, shadowed like the face of a quiet pool. The moonlight revealed her, the jungle stood at her back: and through her hand on my arm I felt the blood of the East, rustling like water in the hills after a tropical rain.
"I stood up abruptly. 'All are his friends' said I. She lifted her eyebrows. 'Has it been thus?' she asked with meaning. I nodded, marvelling meanwhile at her admirable directness; a woman pure as diamond, true as steel. She lived, like light, in instantaneous collimation. 'Yes' said I 'he has found many friends'
"She pondered the fact. 'But none have loved him with the heart?' Was it a question, or a statement? 'Many' I answered 'but none gained the answer' 'None?' she asked, searchingly 'You know, and I can only repeat what is true' said I 'His heart is given to one who wears it on a chain for play'
"She trembled at the thought. 'Where is she?' she demanded. I told her that I didn't know. 'Not ... home?' she asked 'Not there?...' She stretched out a hand vaguely. 'Oh, no' said I, relieved to be able to speak an open word 'Then it is not for her that he goes?' she cried, pathetically relieved. 'No' said I again. She leaned toward me, as if to make a critical examination. 'Why have you come, to change and take him from me?' she asked bitterly. 'I came by chance, without knowing' I answered 'It is the hand of destiny' Throwing back her head, with a passionate gesture she flung an uplifted arm across her eyes. 'Is she so beautiful?' she cried in a low voice, like one pleading with fate.
"I heard a slight movement behind me, and whirled, to find Bert standing in the doorway. He gazed from one to the other of us in troubled silence; then crossed the porch and stood beside me at the rail. She heard his step, and turned, a superb figure, her uplifted arm still shading her eyes.
"'Nichols, I'm awfully sorry...' he began weakly.
"'Ah!' she cried, her arrow-like candour tearing the veil he would have dropped. She went to him swiftly. 'All day I have wandered in the hills' said she 'All day I have thought of your choice. I have asked the forest, why? and the mountains, why? and the great ocean, why? I have held up my hands to the white clouds, to the sun of life and wisdom, asking why, why? Now I have come to you—and him—to ask you, why? My Love' said she softly 'I think it is that you do not understand, and your words fall without knowledge. You are the light of life to me, and the breath of the body. I cannot live alone. You have taken my heart from my breast, and now would carry it with you to a strange land, where it would perish and die. But these are words—you cannot mean them. You will not go. See how I hold you fast!'
"He gazed at her in trepidation. 'It is decided' said he 'When the ship returns, I am to go' 'Then I shall follow!' she told him. 'I shall go with you ... home' He snatched his hands away. 'Oh, no, you can't!' he shouted 'It isn't what you think' 'Blind one' she answered 'would I not be near you?' He started violently; she took his lands again. 'Then stay with me, here in my land, which waits for us alone. Stay with me in these nights that never end!'
"He sighed profoundly. 'It would soon be over....'
"'When it had ended, we could die' she whispered 'I would gladly die thus, having lived for a time. Stay with me till love grows cold!'
"He pushed her off like one dazed and distracted. For a long while he stood perfectly motionless. 'Stay!' she whispered once more 'Be quiet—let me think' said he. She pressed against the railing. 'Look down!' said she 'To-night we live—but there may be no to-morrow!' While she was speaking, clear and sharp across the water came the rattle of a falling anchor-chain.
"He seemed to stiffen where he stood. His face in the moonlight looked sterner than its wont, set in the struggle that came hard to him. 'No!' he cried in a loud voice. The word seemed to echo among the palms, a tragic whisper of universal negation. She gazed at him a moment in naked terror—then tottered and sank slowly to the ground, uttering little stifled cries. I saw him leap the railing and kneel beside her; but I didn't wait for more. I'd stayed too long already; and what was coming would be harder than what had gone.
"It must have been fully an hour later, after I'd lost the path and threshed around in the jungle until I was tired out, that I succeeded in regaining the bungalow. Bert was sitting on the porch, alone. I dropped into a chair beside him. 'Too bad, old man' said he, observing the state of my white linens 'It was decent of you, though'
"'Yes, we're a decent breed, aren't we?' I snapped in reply 'Anyway, let's not balance a heart against an hour of discomfort and a suit of clothes' He turned his head and looked me over. 'I can't say that I blame you' he exclaimed 'But honestly, old man, I think she will forget' 'I don't' said I 'Did you?' He winced, but I went on angrily 'You ought to know better by this time. You've had a double experience now—the chaser and the chased....' 'Hold on, Nichols!' he interrupted 'You're getting unpardonable. What would you have me do? Do you want me to stay here and live with her?' 'No, I don't!' I shouted 'I merely want a revision of life and human nature—no one to be unhappy, no love to go unrequited, no heart to be thrown away' He laughed. 'I'd like that, too' said he.
"The silence lengthened between us, as we gazed across the placid harbour, thinking our own thoughts. In the brilliant moonlight, every object in the roadstead was plainly discernible. 'I see your friend has arrived' said Bert suddenly 'He's anchored pretty close to your vessel. By Jove, that must have been his chain..' 'It was' I answered, musing on the fortuitousness of events that shape our lives. 'Now he seems to be getting a boat into the water. Where are your night glasses?' In a moment Bert brought them to me. Aboard the new arrival there was an unaccountable flurry, but I couldn't make out the scene below the rail. In a short while, however, a boat appeared out of the shadow there, and swam toward us through the bright moonlight. 'I wonder why he's coming ashore, at this time of night' I murmured. 'Can't imagine' Bert replied. Soon we heard the chunking of oars in the rowlocks, and two or three quick commands. The boat was nearing the beach. She passed for a moment behind the point of the jetty. Now she had reached the landing. A confusion of voices broke out, loud and jarring, pitched in a key of anger and violence. Then, cutting the stillness like a knife, came a sudden sharp cry.
"My heart leaped into my mouth. 'My God, did you hear that?' asked Bert, breathlessly. 'Keep still—it sounded like a woman's voice' said I. We leaned across the rail, straining our eyes, but couldn't see what was taking place; the landing lay too close under the trees. After the cry, an absolute silence had fallen. This lasted a full minute. Then a man's voice started up, the same angry, jarring tone 'Give way, boys!' Almost immediately, we heard the sound of the oars again.
"The unexpectedness of the occurrence had held us spellbound; we stood gazing at each other like two wooden images. Then, in the same instant, we found our voices, began to confer hurriedly, and started on the run for the centre of the verandah, where a broad flight of steps led down to the jetty path. At the head of the path we both halted as if transfixed. Someone was coming up from the landing. The moonlight plainly showed it to be a woman. She advanced slowly, stopping now and then, staggering as she walked. When she drew nearer, we could see that she was hatless and empty-handed. She walked like a somnambulist, gazing fixedly on the ground before her, now and then holding out a hand as if to feel the way. At the last turn of the path, she stopped and raised her head. Bert, at my side, made a low strangling sound. Evidently discovering us, she started forward again. Her face was quite terrible. All hope seemed gone from it, like the dead face of a suicide that I once saw; her eyes stared at us blankly, and she clutched with one hand at the bosom of her dress.
"'Who is there?' she asked brokenly.
"Bert left my side and flung himself toward her. 'Helen!' he cried. She would have fallen, but he caught her in his arms. 'Helen!' said he again, with his face close to hers.
"'Bert?' she asked in eager fearfulness. Her low voice seemed to tear the heart. She gazed at him long and deep, while desperation turned to wonder in her eyes.
"For the second time that evening I fled the scene of life's amazing hazard. This time I hurried down the path with all haste, making for the jetty; by shouting, I should be able to raise the ship and have a boat sent ashore for me. As I glanced back at the corner, I saw Bert help the woman up the steps. I thought I heard her sobbing; but, in a moment, I realized that the sound came from another direction. Off among the trees, in the heavy shadow, someone was uttering smothered, choking cries. I broke into a run. The ways of the land were getting too damnably complicated altogether; I wanted to surround myself again with a safe strip of water.
VII
Nichols reached for another cigar. "And that's the way he found her" he went on "For it wouldn't be true to say that she had found him; until the moment in front of the bungalow when he took her in his arms, she hadn't dreamed that he was there.
"I heard the final chapter of their romance while we were going up the China Sea; I'd waited for him, after all, and had taken them both north with me. After Bert had left Melbourne, she had missed him, and had awakened to the realization that she'd driven him out of her life. So she discovered what it meant to her, what she'd been doing, and bowed before the law that through any wrong keeps the heart pure and the spirit ready to fulfil itself. She had determined to follow, but couldn't locate him. Some said he was in Singapore, some in Hong Kong; the consensus of many vague rumours, however, agreed that he had gone north into the China Sea region. It was familiar ground to her; she had friends there, and sources of information. She's always known of Halsted's packet service; the next time he came around, she had taken passage in theSenegalfor an indeterminate trip up the coast.
"Unfortunately, Halsted also knew of her. He was a beastly sort of character. The moment they got outside he grew familiar, and soon was making forthright approaches. She was the only woman on the vessel; the other passenger was an elderly man, to whom she couldn't hope to look for protection. She, of course, was a woman of experience, as capable of protecting herself as is humanly possible; but there are limits to the power of the mind over brute force, when passion is engaged. Make no mistake—her aversion from him was virginal, and nothing could have induced her submission.
"'I took my revolver on deck one morning, to show him my marksmanship' said she 'I shot a bird on the end of the spanker gaff. Then I got him on one side, and told him what I would do. I told him that I should be constantly on the watch, and that I would shoot him dead if he came near me. It was the only way—but I knew he was a coward'
"So this was the situation on board theSenegal—on the one hand defiance, on the other baulked and fermenting desire. Halsted watched her as a cat watches a mouse, trying to catch her off guard. Throughout the afternoon while they had been coming up the straits, even while my glass had been looking them over, the silent battle had been going on. The presence of the land had filled her with nameless apprehension. Then they had run into the calm; in this condition, the supper hour had arrived. She had waited on deck until she thought the others would be nearly finished; when she entered the forward cabin, she saw that she had waited too long. The mate and the old gentleman had gone on deck forward; Halsted sat there alone. She had to pass him to reach her seat. As she attempted to slip by, he rose suddenly and crushed her in his arms. The Chinese steward in the pantry turned his back on the scene.
"'My hand fell on a table knife' said she 'I fought him with it—succeeded in cutting him badly about the hands. The blood frightened him; he had to let me go. I've never seen a human being in such a dreadful rage. He swore he wouldn't keep me on board an hour longer'
"The rage had persisted; as soon as the sails had been furled, after dropping the anchor, he had put a boat overboard and bundled her into it, bag and baggage—well he knew that she was in no position to make trouble for him. She had thought of trying to attract the attention of the other vessel, but finally had decided that she had better take her chances on land. She had supposed there were white people ashore; at the landing, where her things had been pitched at her feet, she had asked Halsted the way to the settlement. When he'd told her brutally what an abandoned place it was, she'd suddenly lost heart. It was then that we had heard her cry out.
"'Go up to the consulate bungalow' Halsted had told her 'See the lights? Somebody must live up there'
"So she had climbed the hill, trusting to luck, which had already arranged the scene. It might have been vastly different, you know. Suppose she had found him with the native woman? Well, suppose it—the renunciation would merely have changed hands. Inexorable formula!—for them, one or the other; for him, heads I win, tails you lose"
VIII
Nichols went to the rail, and stood for some time in silence, facing the land. "And I have seen the other" said he slowly "It was about a year later that my course led me again through Sunda Straits, and I arrived at Anjer on another evening of moonlight and stillness and awakened memory. After the anchor was down I ordered a boat to be set overboard, and went ashore in the late evening to revisit the bungalow. As I went up the path, the shadows seemed to start and move about me, and a wandering breeze stirred the palm trees with a quick rustle as of departing feet. I found the wreck of a rattan chair standing on the verandah, pulled it to the railing, and sat there a long while facing the oval of grass flooded with moonlight, the fixed scene, as it were, where the actors of this unseen drama had stalked through their extravagant business and said their futile words.
"Nothing had changed; I seemed as if I had left the place but yesterday. I turned to the heavy shadow where I had seen and heard her last, the shadow that must have marked the end of a hillside trail; and it wasn't surprising to me, but only natural, to see her standing there once more, her form drawn back as if from a sight she didn't dare behold. In a moment the tense figure moved. She walked like a tiger, with a crouching step of absolute grace, cautious yet unafraid. Crossing the oval, she came directly to the railing. I got up hastily, in excitement and alarm; and we faced each other without speaking for quite a period.
"'You?...' said she at last in a low voice, drawing back. Her hand tightened on the rail. She was regally beautiful.
"'For what do you wait?' I asked, striving to be calm.
"She threw down her arms with a violent gesture. 'A word, a message!' she cried 'Can you tell me nothing? Has he come?'
"'He is far away' I answered.
"She put her hand on mine. 'You are his friend' said she 'I do not blame you now; I see that it rested with him alone. But keep nothing from me. Has he sent no word by you?'
"'He does not know that I have come' said I.
"'Ah, I have waited, night upon night!' she cried 'Whenever ships stop, I have waited here—in darkness, in rain—always!—thinking to see you, or that he might come, or that a message.... Will he not come? Tell me!'
"'He will never come' said I.
"She drew her hand away, and stepped back sharply. Her voice rang out, fierce with hate. 'He was a child. The woman took him! Tell me, why?...'
"'The woman was his wife' I felt obliged to say.
"'Enough!' she cried. Her form became rigid, as if every muscle were stretched to the point of breaking. Suddenly she relaxed, and turned to me for the last time.
"'He is happy?' she asked quietly.
"I nodded—for the moment I couldn't speak.
"'She loves him?'
"Again I nodded.
"Her voice caught at the next question, but rallied bravely. 'He loves her?—you are sure?...'
"I cursed myself for having come—but there could be no kindness in sustaining the delusion. 'I am certain' I answered 'He will never tire of her. He loves her better than all the world'
"She gave a quick cry, like one who has received a mortal wound. Before I could recognize the significance of the moment, she had moved swiftly into the open. For an instant she stood with arms outstretched; but not until the dagger flashed above her breast did I see what she held in her hand. When I reached her she'd fallen in the rank grass, and life had gone.
"And that's the way I left her, a figure very beautiful, crouching low as if to spring, the tall grass closing over her, the mystery dissolved in mystery. Aha!—these high spirits, this gruelling difficulty of life. But she, you'll note, had solved the difficulty, had met it boldly and triumphantly, with the master stroke that levels fate itself to the dust. As for the others, they had solved it, too, though not so keenly, had triumphed, though not so magnificently—had gone away, had found their home, were happy, for a little longer.... What did it signify?"
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