EDWARD AND EUSTACE

A Tale with a Moral.

Oh, uncle, why is Mister WoodSo unequivocally good?And, in the name of mercy,Why does his comrade look so riled,So rigid and unreconciled,So stern of purpose?Hush, my child,Thatis Lord Eustace Percy.A most exemplary young man,A blameless Sabbatarian—By happy dispensation,They used to rule, E. Wood and he,In absolute authority,That singular corroboree,The Board of Education.Far otherwise it might have beenBut for Lord Younger’s dread machine.A Premier, less discerning,Might have set up, in Fisher’s chair,Some pedagogue or doctrinaire,Instead of that illustrious pair,To supervise our learning.But Providence, both wise and kind,To British interests never blind,The choice adroitly guided;Giving “effective preference”Over mere expert eminence,To men of large experienceAnd virtues many-sided.

Oh, uncle, why is Mister WoodSo unequivocally good?And, in the name of mercy,Why does his comrade look so riled,So rigid and unreconciled,So stern of purpose?Hush, my child,Thatis Lord Eustace Percy.

Oh, uncle, why is Mister Wood

So unequivocally good?

And, in the name of mercy,

Why does his comrade look so riled,

So rigid and unreconciled,

So stern of purpose?

Hush, my child,

Thatis Lord Eustace Percy.

A most exemplary young man,A blameless Sabbatarian—By happy dispensation,They used to rule, E. Wood and he,In absolute authority,That singular corroboree,The Board of Education.

A most exemplary young man,

A blameless Sabbatarian—

By happy dispensation,

They used to rule, E. Wood and he,

In absolute authority,

That singular corroboree,

The Board of Education.

Far otherwise it might have beenBut for Lord Younger’s dread machine.A Premier, less discerning,Might have set up, in Fisher’s chair,Some pedagogue or doctrinaire,Instead of that illustrious pair,To supervise our learning.

Far otherwise it might have been

But for Lord Younger’s dread machine.

A Premier, less discerning,

Might have set up, in Fisher’s chair,

Some pedagogue or doctrinaire,

Instead of that illustrious pair,

To supervise our learning.

But Providence, both wise and kind,To British interests never blind,The choice adroitly guided;Giving “effective preference”Over mere expert eminence,To men of large experienceAnd virtues many-sided.

But Providence, both wise and kind,

To British interests never blind,

The choice adroitly guided;

Giving “effective preference”

Over mere expert eminence,

To men of large experience

And virtues many-sided.

Edward and Eustace.

For Edward, who, in early days(Screened from the prying public’s gaze),Studied John Keble’s holy waysAnd theologic fever,Rose to be foremost underlingIn Winston’s Great Imperial Ring;And later had beneath his wingThe Council of Geneva.While Eustace, hardy sciolist,Was firstly a diplomatist;And later tried his noble fistAt something in the City;And later still enlarged his view,As Honorary Chairman toThat product of the Irish stewThe Claims and Grants Committee.So both must be presumed to knowThe habits of the Esquimaux,The properties of indigo,The ways of the Equator,The secret hopes of the Malay,The mysteries of settling-day—Essentials to an educa-Tional administrator.It is unnecessary toRemind so wise a child as you,No such arrangement could pursueIts course, undislocated.People began to make a fuss;They said: “Two men so virtuousAre rarer than the platypus,And better separated.”So Edward, calm, detached, serene,Remained on that exalted scene,Quaffing scholastic Hippocrene,In learned pastures browsing;While Eustace bent his nimble brainsTo joists, light-castings, sumps and drains,In Mr. Neville Chamberlain’sBelated scheme of Housing.

For Edward, who, in early days

(Screened from the prying public’s gaze),

Studied John Keble’s holy ways

And theologic fever,

Rose to be foremost underling

In Winston’s Great Imperial Ring;

And later had beneath his wing

The Council of Geneva.

While Eustace, hardy sciolist,Was firstly a diplomatist;And later tried his noble fistAt something in the City;And later still enlarged his view,As Honorary Chairman toThat product of the Irish stewThe Claims and Grants Committee.

While Eustace, hardy sciolist,

Was firstly a diplomatist;

And later tried his noble fist

At something in the City;

And later still enlarged his view,

As Honorary Chairman to

That product of the Irish stew

The Claims and Grants Committee.

So both must be presumed to knowThe habits of the Esquimaux,The properties of indigo,The ways of the Equator,The secret hopes of the Malay,The mysteries of settling-day—Essentials to an educa-Tional administrator.

So both must be presumed to know

The habits of the Esquimaux,

The properties of indigo,

The ways of the Equator,

The secret hopes of the Malay,

The mysteries of settling-day—

Essentials to an educa-

Tional administrator.

It is unnecessary toRemind so wise a child as you,No such arrangement could pursueIts course, undislocated.People began to make a fuss;They said: “Two men so virtuousAre rarer than the platypus,And better separated.”

It is unnecessary to

Remind so wise a child as you,

No such arrangement could pursue

Its course, undislocated.

People began to make a fuss;

They said: “Two men so virtuous

Are rarer than the platypus,

And better separated.”

So Edward, calm, detached, serene,Remained on that exalted scene,Quaffing scholastic Hippocrene,In learned pastures browsing;While Eustace bent his nimble brainsTo joists, light-castings, sumps and drains,In Mr. Neville Chamberlain’sBelated scheme of Housing.

So Edward, calm, detached, serene,

Remained on that exalted scene,

Quaffing scholastic Hippocrene,

In learned pastures browsing;

While Eustace bent his nimble brains

To joists, light-castings, sumps and drains,

In Mr. Neville Chamberlain’s

Belated scheme of Housing.

Moral.

And if, my nephew, like E. WoodAnd Eustace, you are always good,You’ll study from your babyhoodTo merit estimation.You’ll put aside that bowie knife,You will eschew all forms of strife,And earn, and keep throughout your life,The plaudits of the nation.

And if, my nephew, like E. Wood

And Eustace, you are always good,

You’ll study from your babyhood

To merit estimation.

You’ll put aside that bowie knife,

You will eschew all forms of strife,

And earn, and keep throughout your life,

The plaudits of the nation.

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