THE NEXT WAR—AND MILITARY SERVICE

Russiaand Germany have joined hands; France and Belgium have banded together; Italy has made a secret treaty with the Kemalists—a fact which can hardly afford much satisfaction to the kingdom of Serbs, Croats, and Slovenes, leave alone the Greeks! Poland and her neighbours are on much the same terms of cordiality as rival opera singers. There is Bessarabia; there is (so to call it for convenience) Germania Irridenta; there is the Burgenland; all simmering merrily away. There are heartburnings in Transylvania. I cannot think that even the Sanjak is really placid—it has always wallowed in grievances from time immemorial. Indeed (so I am told), it needs but a spark to set the whole contraption in a blaze. Only a spark!... We are sitting on a wood pile soaked in petrol; and the boys at Paris and elsewhere are out with their tinder-boxes.

Viewed from one point of view, this situation has arisen very appositely to certain investigations conducted not long ago byThe Times, and provides a capital solution to the problems of how to find careers for our sons, and what to do with ourdaughters. But there are some of us[2]to whom even the satisfaction of starting our children in (or rather out of) the world, would be but a poor recompense for the physical discomfort (it’s not the danger; we none of us minddanger; we rather like it) of resuming active hostilities ourselves. As Leggitt says[3]: “Danger I scorn; but discomfort is the parent of anxiety; and anxiety is the handmaid of despair.” That’s good enough for me.

Besides, wars are not what they were. The last war was, to a great extent, won, and the next war will be entirely won, behind the lines. “Lord Northcliffe,” says a military historian[4]in his article on war in the Encyclopædia, “Lord Northcliffe dealt heavier blows than Haig. Haig hit harder than Rawlinson, Rawlinson than Godley, and Godley (through a long string of intermediary Blenkinsops and Chislehursts) than Private Muggins. In fact, the whole lesson of the war was that Muggins didn’t matter twopennyworth of gin. The further back you were, the more you could do. If Captain Slogger, the Company Commander, stopped one—why,anybody else could carry on. But if the R.T.O.’s clerk at the base went down with writer’s cramp, the repercussions might be felt all over Europe. And in the next war....” And so on.

Push this to its logical conclusion and what do you find? An entirely new conception of the theory of national service. The duty of every man, with love of country in his heart, is to fit himself to play a far-reaching, noble, and adequate part in the next war—from a distance at which brains will really tell. As Sir Cuthbert puts it, “The duty of the soldiers of the future is to consolidate the front behind the front.” No mawkish sentimental considerations should interfere with the attainment of this. “If others have to fall in the front line, drop a tear, good citizen, or if you feel so disposed, drop two tears. But for the sake of your country, and its final victory in the struggle,see to it that you are not the one who falls.”

I will. I will see to it with punctilious care. It is my duty; and I shall discharge it with the same devotion as I displayed in the last war, when I rose from assistant warehouse clerk (graded as bombardier) in the E.F.C. receiving shed, via R.T.O.’s clerk at Boulavre (graded as Staff Sergeant of Musketry), assistant press censor (graded as Squadron Leader of Cavalry with rankof Captain) and Base Commandant (graded as G.S.O. 2, but with rank of colonel on the staff and pay and allowances of a Lieutenant-General) to the proud position which I occupied at the end. I have nothing to complain of.... I cannot deny that I had all kinds of obstacles to overcome. Ignorant prejudiced fools, blind to the interests of their country, were constantly endeavouring to comb me out. And so it will be in the next war. The earnest patriot will find himself thwarted and misunderstood at every turn. Nothing but a knowledge of the niceties of the medical board, will avail to defeat these busybodies. Indeed, it may at times be necessary to indulge in a little pardonable deception. Thus, a cigarette soaked in laudanum, and smoked half an hour before the doctor’s examination, will produce all the symptoms of general paralysis, heart failure, and abdominal catarrh; yet, in an hour or two at most, the smoker will have recovered most of his faculties, and the remainder will return in, at the outside, a few days. A glass of vinegar, swallowed without deglutition, produces the pallor of a ghost and the pulse and temperature of a lizard; yet the effects have rarely lasted longer than a week. And there are, of course, such well-known (but to my thinking too crude) expedients as self-inflicted wounds and even amputations.

Perhaps it is best, indeed, to make preparations in advance. It must never be forgotten that a large civilian population is necessary to carry on what are called “the essential public services.” No one should disdain to do his duty in one of these capacities. And if, as in the last war, the only sons of widowed mothers are to be given special consideration, we must not hesitate to take full advantage of such a provision. A judicious use of the knife or poison cup, or possibly a combination of the two, will place many a strapping fellow in the necessary condition of exemption.

Promptski-Buzzoff, in his elaborate, but too little known, treatise “Die Vermeidung des Kriegesdienstes”[5]lays down that “the spinal marrow of a nation is to be found in the conscience of its citizens.” This is profoundly and undeniably true. The pages of history are bespattered with the fragments of empires that have disintegrated through the decay of their moral fibre. Every good citizen, says Buzzoff, should cultivate a conscience as inflexible as Bessemer steel. A properly cultivated conscience will no more permit its owner to kill, or be killed, than a vacuum brake will let a train run away. It’s automatic. You mention the word war, andthere’s an instant inhibition. This kind of thing however, needs considerable preparation. It is always open to misinterpretation if your conscience doesn’t develop until the outbreak of war; although that, in itself, is not a consideration which ought to deter a man with the interests of his country at heart.

Many of us, again, are indispensable. Until late in 1917, I was indispensable myself. And next time I fully intend to be indispensable all through the war. I shall get elected to some legislative body—say the London County Council; and my devotion to duty will do the rest. But, of course, in case of mischance I shall be prepared with an alternative plan, several alternative plans in fact. And, in the last resort, I shall place my services at the disposal of the Director-General of Lines of Communication. After all, speaking as one who has already fought a campaign in that capacity, one has a sense of responsibility and power, even in the humblest posts behind the line, of which even Divisional and Corps commanders might be envious. As an R.T.O.’s assistant, one is conscious of a control over the destinies of others, that almost partakes of divinity. A motion of the hand, a word on a scrap of paper, and divisions and their baggage may be separated for ever; provisions consigned to one country may find themselves devoured in another; and Generalswaiting to begin a battle may awake on zero day to the fact that they have no forces, except their staffs, wherewith to fight.

It will be understood that I offer these suggestions on the understanding that we find ourselves allied to a country in which there will be some approximation, in the amenities offered to L. of C., to those enjoyed in the larger cities in France during the war. Otherwise, frankly, nothing doing! I have been studying the appendices to Splitz’s book on the Russian Army[6]; and the feeding is hardly up to what I might call a civilised war standard. Thus, on L. of C., the weekly ration allowance appears to be four gold roubles’ worth of straw soup, three poods of lycopodium seed cake, and two samovars of liquorice water, together with thirty-seven foot-calories of bonemeal and a packet of spearmint—which, although it compares favourably with the diet of Divisional and Corps Commanders in that country[7], has but little attraction for the gourmet. And in any case what about the residuum? After all, we can’t all of us expectcarte blanchetosend trains backwards and forwards—passed to you, please, and to you, please, and so on. Even on the grander scale, there’ll never be room for more than a million or so R.T.O.’s all told (and that will include the other side). Something’s got to be done for the rest of us. Even the L. of C. troops will be up to full strength at last. They’ll absorb a number of millions; but they’ll fill up eventually. Even the essential public services at home can’t be swelled indefinitely. There will come a time when everything useful has been filled up, and there are still people left over.

Well, we can’t all be satisfied in this world. It was never intended that we should. And, so far as I can see, the overplus will have to make themselves comfortable in the trenches. It will be a galling thought to them that they’re poked away there out of everything, with no real work to do. But it doesn’t really matter, for we’ll win the war all right.

We’ll win it in spite of them.

FOOTNOTES:[2]I except, of course, Drigg, Bootlecut, Volmer, and their insignificant following.[3]The Psychology of Post-Metempsychosis.J. Swift Leggitt. The Mangy Press. 5s.[4]Sir Cuthbert Limpitt, K.B.E., a former Director of the Ministry of Misinformation.[5]Berlin, 1921. Published in an English translation under the titleMilitary Service and its Avoidance. Blottow and Windupp, 1922. 7s. 6d.[6]The Russian Army, its Organisations and Morale.By Hermann Splitz. Boonkum and Co., New York. Two vols. $4.[7]And that is only in the larger cities such as Yekanakaterinakanaka. In the smaller towns and villages the amount would be much less!

FOOTNOTES:

[2]I except, of course, Drigg, Bootlecut, Volmer, and their insignificant following.

[3]The Psychology of Post-Metempsychosis.J. Swift Leggitt. The Mangy Press. 5s.

[4]Sir Cuthbert Limpitt, K.B.E., a former Director of the Ministry of Misinformation.

[5]Berlin, 1921. Published in an English translation under the titleMilitary Service and its Avoidance. Blottow and Windupp, 1922. 7s. 6d.

[6]The Russian Army, its Organisations and Morale.By Hermann Splitz. Boonkum and Co., New York. Two vols. $4.

[7]And that is only in the larger cities such as Yekanakaterinakanaka. In the smaller towns and villages the amount would be much less!

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