The Pessimist; His View-Point
Sermons should be practiced before they are preached.
A reformer’s idea of fun is to spoil other people’s fun.
No man can fix a clock and at the same time sing a hymn.
Sacrifices on the altar of foolishness never cease for lack of material.
I wonder why they don’t charter Polygamy under the laws of New Jersey.
There are a great many more fools in the world than they have any idea of.
Sometimes they are editorials, and the rest of the time they are idiotorials.
And, oh, if the great problems solved by the graduates would only stay solved!
The reason why I am so well is that I have always been too poor to stay long at a health resort.
There are two kinds of women who cannot be reasoned with: the one in love and the one not in love.
The best way to preserve the beauty of a finely shaped nose is to keep it out of other people’s business.
Tom P. Morgan.