Part 2, Chapter X.Grit.Godfrey paid but scant attention to poor old Cooper’s feelings when he reached the mill. He hardly took the trouble to glance round him, and never realised that he was, in part, owner of the great concern, and a person on whom its future depended. He gave Guy’s message, and asked indifferently if there was any in return. Cooper looked up the whole length of the young man’s tall figure, ending with the gloomy, indifferent face.“Nay,” he said, “I’ve no message to send by you, Mr Godfrey.”“All right, then,” said Godfrey, going, still thinking of nothing but his own purpose.He found Guy on the sofa in the study, with some papers in his hands. Godfrey sat down opposite, and stared straight before him. Guy lay, looking down, very quiet but with a curious air of something held under and suppressed.“I’m not up to long explanations,” he said; “but you ought to know at once that matters are in a bad way at the mill. It will take every penny we both possess, and all the energy and sense too, to pull through and turn the corner. Things have been going downhill for some time. Look here—”Here he showed the statement which he had partly prepared to lay before his aunt, adding a few explanations and comments.“Then—is the mill going to fail?” said Godfrey, confusedly.“Not if I can help it,” answered Guy. “No! But we’ve got our work cut out for us.”“But we couldn’t take out—realise—any part of the capital.”“Rather not,” said Guy, with a shrug. “But what I want to say is this. You can’t do anything till you have taken your degree—except give your consent to certain measures. I’ll explain by-and-by. But, then, if you come back, and give your mind to it and work, as the old folks did, we’ll get on our legs again. I—of course Aunt Margaret thought you would be able to live at Waynflete.”“Nothing would induce me to live at Waynflete, apart from the horrible injustice of it—I hate it. I should never endure it!”“Shouldn’t you?” said Guy, and paused for a minute. “Then, I think you should use some of the investments to put it properly to rights, and let it again. Don’t sell it.”“I don’t regard it as mine to sell,” said Godfrey; “and no—that would be undoing all she lived for.”“Just so. And remember this. We owe it to her strong purpose that we’re not driving some one else’s plough, or working at some one else’s looms; that we are as we are, such as it is. That work can’t be undone. I don’t mean to give up. But, I can’t depend on my own health, or powers; I mayn’t live long, or be able to work constantly. But if you co-operate, we’ll pull through. Aunt Margaret trusted you, and you’re bound not to disappoint her. Her memoryshallnot be dishonoured.”Guy was moved to speak more warmly from the kind of stupefaction with which Godfrey heard him. He thought that he had been too abrupt.“You’re surprised,” he said more gently. “I’ve known how it was for a long time. It’s not at all a hopeless case.”“I can’t take it in,” said Godfrey. How could he propose to “cut the whole concern,” and go away in the face of this news. Even if he went without a penny, how could he leave his sick brother with such a weight on his shoulders? Did dropping Waynflete out of his hands merely mean shirking a hard struggle? At any rate, he could not tell Guy his intention at that minute.“You know,” said Guy, “after all the legacies are paid, and Waynflete is put to rights, I’m afraid you’ll have very little ready money. The work of restoring the family isn’t complete. You’ve got it to finish.”“If—if the will had been burned, you wouldn’t have sold Waynflete, and put the money into the business?”“No!” said Guy. He stopped to rest a minute, and then said, “If the business really failed, neither of us could honourably keep Waynflete. It would have to be sold to pay the creditors. And it is possible that, to save the business— But no, Godfrey—no—it won’t come to that. It shall not. Aunt Margaret shan’t be defeated.”“I’ll think it over,” said Godfrey, after a moment. “Ought I to take my degree?”“Of course, what’s the use of leaving a thing half-finished? But you’ll have to understand a little what has to be done at once, and give your consent to it. I’ll tell you about it another time. Take these papers, and read them.”“Yes,” said Godfrey, escaping; “anything. I consent to whatever you wish. That is the least I can do!”So then, there was no such easy way of escape as he had hoped. It was a burden, not an honour, that he had unduly won. For the momentary act there was no momentary atonement; but years of uncongenial labour. He hated the mills. Surely, if he dropped all claim on the profits, and gave his brother an entirely free hand, it would be enough? He would willingly sell Waynflete, and throw the price into the business, if Guy had not objected so vehemently. He had thought that his mind was settled, and behold! it was more unsettled than ever before. To give Waynflete to Guy, he could have worked tooth and nail; without a settled purpose, he was all at sea.Guy felt a little baffled and disappointed. He had expected to find, as he put it, more grit in Godfrey.“I suppose you will have to go away soon,” he said to Cuthbert afterwards.“Yes—on the 18th, I fear—but I want you to come with me. There’s no one here to look after you even as clumsily as I can. I suppose Mrs Palmer stays; but her notions are limited to good beef-tea.”“It’s not a bad notion. Cuthbert, don’t you want to know what happened to me?”“Yes—when you can tell me.”“I’m going to tell you now. Come here—quite close—lock the door first.”Cuthbert did as he was told, and sat down quietly.“Well,” he said, “how was it?”“Well, that night when I was walking from Kirk Hinton, I got on very slowly, and it was a long—long time.”“Yes—you got very tired.”“Yes, but I thought hard. I almost made up my mind that the whole thing was a craze inherited from the other Guy, or at least shared with him. I thought nothing existed outside my own brain; that the old Guy had probably got drunk at the old public in the valley, and that I should too. That the cause of the whole horror was inme, because my brain was made wrong or crooked.”He paused, and Cuthbert said no more than, “Well?”“You’ve always wanted me to think that. You don’t know what it’s like to think so, when there is a great horror that your brain has made for you.”Guy spoke very quietly. Cuthbert hardly ventured to answer him. “You would never understand what I meant by ‘feeling.’ But then I felt—nothing. I don’t think even Christ felt like that—quite, when He said God had forsaken Him. ForIfelt that there was no one even to forsake me.”“But, my dear boy,” exclaimed Cuthbert, distressed, “I do not think so. I never meant to teach you to think so. That one hallucination—”“If you knew what a spiritual presence in your soul is, good or evil—you would know what is involved in finding it a delusion. I wasgladwhen I felt him come.”“Did you see—it?”“I saw the figure on the bridge, standing in my way. Well, it was a question of drowning myself or letting him drown me. I was almost mad—I—I think he laughed at me—I’m not sure. His eyes—”Guy dropped his voice, and into his own eyes there came a wild, uncertain look, as of a sorely shaken brain. But he sat up and spoke emphatically.“Suddenly I knew that I could try to get across. That’s the point, you see, Cuthbert—that’s the point! One can try, onecanfight—devil or delusion—I don’t know which—one can resist, and he will flee. I think he will always flee—for there’s help.Allspiritual presences are not evil; something helped me. I fainted, I suppose; but I got across the river—I set myself to get on, but the hill was so steep—and long—I was so deadly faint. It took an awful time, I had to stop so often; oh, I don’t wonder the other Guy was too late! But I got there in time. Aunt Margaret knew it, she quite understood.”“It is all over now,” said Cuthbert, soothingly; “you won’t see the figure again.”Guy slowly turned his eyes away from Cuthbert’s face, and looked straight in front of him.“I see it now,” he said. “Listen—don’t stop me. I saw it ahead all the way. I’ve seen it ever since. But—but—it’s nothim—now. Oh, you won’t understand. Iknowhe’s not here now. This is a spectre—a delusion—but it’s very bad to bear. Stop; let me rest a bit.”He put his hand over his eyes and lay still—whispering, “I’ve some more to say.”“Yes, tell me everything—tell me just what it is,” said Cuthbert, gently.“I can’t,” said Guy. “Shakespeare was right—and it’s very hard to be quite sure. The more one thinks, the harder it is. But whatever that is—which comes to me, Icanfight it; Icanresist. And I will. I mustn’t give in an inch. I’ve got to hold on with the business, and against the drink, and against the terror. That’s all I know; but I know that, though I’ve almost died of learning it.”Guy turned faint after this eager speech, and was forced to lie back and be silent. Presently he spoke again in a faltering whisper—“Doesn’t all this—”“What, my boy? Yes, tell me.”“It is so queer—you’ll dislike me for it,” said poor Guy, simply, and with tears in his eyes. “Anybody would.”“Well, I don’t,” said Cuthbert, in his dry, gentle voice. “You know, I promised to see you through.”“It eases me so to have you know it. But no one else—promise me—no one else.”“Well—but your best help in the fight would be the doctor.”“Oh yes—you may tell him anything you like, anything you can. The real thing is past man’s understanding. Only,” and he collected his strength, and looked up again steadfastly, “remember—devil or delusion—it is not irresistible, and I can resist.”When Guy, soothed by his friend’s sympathy, had dropped into a much-needed sleep, Cuthbert still sat beside him puzzled, and, spite of himself, awed by the terrible story. He could not forget the records of that earlier struggle, which had come into his hands, and which Guy must see, as soon as he was fit to do so. He did not understand the experience enough to see why, as he put it, in the half-jesting thought with which deep feeling veils itself, Guy preferred the devil to a delusion. But he saw that mind and soul and body were all in danger, and he recognised that the belief in a resisting power must be fostered and guarded to the utmost.“Only his faith can save him,” thought Cuthbert, with a mental start at the familiar ring of words, of which he had never made any personal application.“It’s beyond me,” he thought, “and I’ll take off my hat and wait. He may be crazed, but he’s pretty much of a hero. And as for disliking him—well—not much fear of it. I’ll do all I know for him.”Then Cuthbert thought the whole matter through, from beginning to end, and finally, with wise and uncommon mental patience, made up his mind not to rush in like a fool, where a man of any ordinary experience might well fear to tread. He would take every care of Guy; but, in that unknown region of his trial, he would let him judge for himself.
Godfrey paid but scant attention to poor old Cooper’s feelings when he reached the mill. He hardly took the trouble to glance round him, and never realised that he was, in part, owner of the great concern, and a person on whom its future depended. He gave Guy’s message, and asked indifferently if there was any in return. Cooper looked up the whole length of the young man’s tall figure, ending with the gloomy, indifferent face.
“Nay,” he said, “I’ve no message to send by you, Mr Godfrey.”
“All right, then,” said Godfrey, going, still thinking of nothing but his own purpose.
He found Guy on the sofa in the study, with some papers in his hands. Godfrey sat down opposite, and stared straight before him. Guy lay, looking down, very quiet but with a curious air of something held under and suppressed.
“I’m not up to long explanations,” he said; “but you ought to know at once that matters are in a bad way at the mill. It will take every penny we both possess, and all the energy and sense too, to pull through and turn the corner. Things have been going downhill for some time. Look here—”
Here he showed the statement which he had partly prepared to lay before his aunt, adding a few explanations and comments.
“Then—is the mill going to fail?” said Godfrey, confusedly.
“Not if I can help it,” answered Guy. “No! But we’ve got our work cut out for us.”
“But we couldn’t take out—realise—any part of the capital.”
“Rather not,” said Guy, with a shrug. “But what I want to say is this. You can’t do anything till you have taken your degree—except give your consent to certain measures. I’ll explain by-and-by. But, then, if you come back, and give your mind to it and work, as the old folks did, we’ll get on our legs again. I—of course Aunt Margaret thought you would be able to live at Waynflete.”
“Nothing would induce me to live at Waynflete, apart from the horrible injustice of it—I hate it. I should never endure it!”
“Shouldn’t you?” said Guy, and paused for a minute. “Then, I think you should use some of the investments to put it properly to rights, and let it again. Don’t sell it.”
“I don’t regard it as mine to sell,” said Godfrey; “and no—that would be undoing all she lived for.”
“Just so. And remember this. We owe it to her strong purpose that we’re not driving some one else’s plough, or working at some one else’s looms; that we are as we are, such as it is. That work can’t be undone. I don’t mean to give up. But, I can’t depend on my own health, or powers; I mayn’t live long, or be able to work constantly. But if you co-operate, we’ll pull through. Aunt Margaret trusted you, and you’re bound not to disappoint her. Her memoryshallnot be dishonoured.”
Guy was moved to speak more warmly from the kind of stupefaction with which Godfrey heard him. He thought that he had been too abrupt.
“You’re surprised,” he said more gently. “I’ve known how it was for a long time. It’s not at all a hopeless case.”
“I can’t take it in,” said Godfrey. How could he propose to “cut the whole concern,” and go away in the face of this news. Even if he went without a penny, how could he leave his sick brother with such a weight on his shoulders? Did dropping Waynflete out of his hands merely mean shirking a hard struggle? At any rate, he could not tell Guy his intention at that minute.
“You know,” said Guy, “after all the legacies are paid, and Waynflete is put to rights, I’m afraid you’ll have very little ready money. The work of restoring the family isn’t complete. You’ve got it to finish.”
“If—if the will had been burned, you wouldn’t have sold Waynflete, and put the money into the business?”
“No!” said Guy. He stopped to rest a minute, and then said, “If the business really failed, neither of us could honourably keep Waynflete. It would have to be sold to pay the creditors. And it is possible that, to save the business— But no, Godfrey—no—it won’t come to that. It shall not. Aunt Margaret shan’t be defeated.”
“I’ll think it over,” said Godfrey, after a moment. “Ought I to take my degree?”
“Of course, what’s the use of leaving a thing half-finished? But you’ll have to understand a little what has to be done at once, and give your consent to it. I’ll tell you about it another time. Take these papers, and read them.”
“Yes,” said Godfrey, escaping; “anything. I consent to whatever you wish. That is the least I can do!”
So then, there was no such easy way of escape as he had hoped. It was a burden, not an honour, that he had unduly won. For the momentary act there was no momentary atonement; but years of uncongenial labour. He hated the mills. Surely, if he dropped all claim on the profits, and gave his brother an entirely free hand, it would be enough? He would willingly sell Waynflete, and throw the price into the business, if Guy had not objected so vehemently. He had thought that his mind was settled, and behold! it was more unsettled than ever before. To give Waynflete to Guy, he could have worked tooth and nail; without a settled purpose, he was all at sea.
Guy felt a little baffled and disappointed. He had expected to find, as he put it, more grit in Godfrey.
“I suppose you will have to go away soon,” he said to Cuthbert afterwards.
“Yes—on the 18th, I fear—but I want you to come with me. There’s no one here to look after you even as clumsily as I can. I suppose Mrs Palmer stays; but her notions are limited to good beef-tea.”
“It’s not a bad notion. Cuthbert, don’t you want to know what happened to me?”
“Yes—when you can tell me.”
“I’m going to tell you now. Come here—quite close—lock the door first.”
Cuthbert did as he was told, and sat down quietly.
“Well,” he said, “how was it?”
“Well, that night when I was walking from Kirk Hinton, I got on very slowly, and it was a long—long time.”
“Yes—you got very tired.”
“Yes, but I thought hard. I almost made up my mind that the whole thing was a craze inherited from the other Guy, or at least shared with him. I thought nothing existed outside my own brain; that the old Guy had probably got drunk at the old public in the valley, and that I should too. That the cause of the whole horror was inme, because my brain was made wrong or crooked.”
He paused, and Cuthbert said no more than, “Well?”
“You’ve always wanted me to think that. You don’t know what it’s like to think so, when there is a great horror that your brain has made for you.”
Guy spoke very quietly. Cuthbert hardly ventured to answer him. “You would never understand what I meant by ‘feeling.’ But then I felt—nothing. I don’t think even Christ felt like that—quite, when He said God had forsaken Him. ForIfelt that there was no one even to forsake me.”
“But, my dear boy,” exclaimed Cuthbert, distressed, “I do not think so. I never meant to teach you to think so. That one hallucination—”
“If you knew what a spiritual presence in your soul is, good or evil—you would know what is involved in finding it a delusion. I wasgladwhen I felt him come.”
“Did you see—it?”
“I saw the figure on the bridge, standing in my way. Well, it was a question of drowning myself or letting him drown me. I was almost mad—I—I think he laughed at me—I’m not sure. His eyes—”
Guy dropped his voice, and into his own eyes there came a wild, uncertain look, as of a sorely shaken brain. But he sat up and spoke emphatically.
“Suddenly I knew that I could try to get across. That’s the point, you see, Cuthbert—that’s the point! One can try, onecanfight—devil or delusion—I don’t know which—one can resist, and he will flee. I think he will always flee—for there’s help.Allspiritual presences are not evil; something helped me. I fainted, I suppose; but I got across the river—I set myself to get on, but the hill was so steep—and long—I was so deadly faint. It took an awful time, I had to stop so often; oh, I don’t wonder the other Guy was too late! But I got there in time. Aunt Margaret knew it, she quite understood.”
“It is all over now,” said Cuthbert, soothingly; “you won’t see the figure again.”
Guy slowly turned his eyes away from Cuthbert’s face, and looked straight in front of him.
“I see it now,” he said. “Listen—don’t stop me. I saw it ahead all the way. I’ve seen it ever since. But—but—it’s nothim—now. Oh, you won’t understand. Iknowhe’s not here now. This is a spectre—a delusion—but it’s very bad to bear. Stop; let me rest a bit.”
He put his hand over his eyes and lay still—whispering, “I’ve some more to say.”
“Yes, tell me everything—tell me just what it is,” said Cuthbert, gently.
“I can’t,” said Guy. “Shakespeare was right—and it’s very hard to be quite sure. The more one thinks, the harder it is. But whatever that is—which comes to me, Icanfight it; Icanresist. And I will. I mustn’t give in an inch. I’ve got to hold on with the business, and against the drink, and against the terror. That’s all I know; but I know that, though I’ve almost died of learning it.”
Guy turned faint after this eager speech, and was forced to lie back and be silent. Presently he spoke again in a faltering whisper—
“Doesn’t all this—”
“What, my boy? Yes, tell me.”
“It is so queer—you’ll dislike me for it,” said poor Guy, simply, and with tears in his eyes. “Anybody would.”
“Well, I don’t,” said Cuthbert, in his dry, gentle voice. “You know, I promised to see you through.”
“It eases me so to have you know it. But no one else—promise me—no one else.”
“Well—but your best help in the fight would be the doctor.”
“Oh yes—you may tell him anything you like, anything you can. The real thing is past man’s understanding. Only,” and he collected his strength, and looked up again steadfastly, “remember—devil or delusion—it is not irresistible, and I can resist.”
When Guy, soothed by his friend’s sympathy, had dropped into a much-needed sleep, Cuthbert still sat beside him puzzled, and, spite of himself, awed by the terrible story. He could not forget the records of that earlier struggle, which had come into his hands, and which Guy must see, as soon as he was fit to do so. He did not understand the experience enough to see why, as he put it, in the half-jesting thought with which deep feeling veils itself, Guy preferred the devil to a delusion. But he saw that mind and soul and body were all in danger, and he recognised that the belief in a resisting power must be fostered and guarded to the utmost.
“Only his faith can save him,” thought Cuthbert, with a mental start at the familiar ring of words, of which he had never made any personal application.
“It’s beyond me,” he thought, “and I’ll take off my hat and wait. He may be crazed, but he’s pretty much of a hero. And as for disliking him—well—not much fear of it. I’ll do all I know for him.”
Then Cuthbert thought the whole matter through, from beginning to end, and finally, with wise and uncommon mental patience, made up his mind not to rush in like a fool, where a man of any ordinary experience might well fear to tread. He would take every care of Guy; but, in that unknown region of his trial, he would let him judge for himself.
Part 2, Chapter XI.Helping and Hindering.After Godfrey’s wild visit to Moorhead, the first news that came to Constancy and Florella from Waynflete, was the announcement to their aunt from Mrs Joshua Palmer of the death in the family. It came after they had joined her at Harrowgate, and was quite short and formal, without any mention of the two young men.Constancy was honestly shocked and grieved. The high-spirited, vigorous old lady had struck her fancy, and the wreath she sent was a genuine expression of feeling.The next thing was a polite visit from old Mr Matthew, as it was the custom to call him, with his report of the funeral, and of the contents of the will, together with his comments thereon.“Neither of the lads looks as if he’d make a hand of the business. The eldest is but a poor, weakly fellow, and of course the old lady must have had very good reasons for passing him over and preferring his brother. Eh! they’re a queer lot, are the Waynfletes, a bad stock—a bad stock—and that’s a thing there’s no getting over.”Mrs John Palmer replied with polite hopes that their bringing up might have partly got over it; but though she was not very fond of her husband’s family, on family occasions she remembered Palmer prejudices, and felt for the moment that the two Waynfletes were interlopers.Constancy heard of Godfrey’s inheritance with a great throb of surprise. How would he take it? How had it come about? She remembered how Guy had been sent for at the last, and she wondered, being keen enough to guess how much there was to wonder at. Just before she left Yorkshire she received a letter. It began abruptly—“I am writing to you because, little as you may care to hear, I could never look in your face again, unless you knew the worst of me. Probably face to face I never shall see you, but let me at least have the right to think of you with less utter shame. My aunt intended, if my brother had obeyed her summons at once, to have talked over business matters with him, and to have destroyed the will in my favour, under which I have the misfortune to inherit. I first of all forgot, in my preoccupation, to post her letter to Guy, so that he could not come till the later train, and then, as you know, in my mad desire to see you once more, and alone, I failed to send to meet him at Kirk Hinton. If he had come in the morning, as but for me he would, probably my aunt’s accident would never have happened, and he could have satisfied her mind on the points between them. As it was, he only came just before the end, when, though she knew him, she could not speak to him. Moreover, the long walk and the hurry and shock, all through my act, so injured him, that I thought his death, as well as all the rest, would lie at my door. I see Staunton thinks it may be so even yet. Guy has been most generous to me, but that only increases the dreadful weight of remorse that lies on me. You will see how impossible it is that I should profit by the results of my own wicked jealousy. I have pledged myself never to do so. I have now no right to tell you that I love you, or to come forward for your favour any more. I have often been stung by your contempt; but you see it was quite justifiable. I have but one purpose now, to free myself from the responsibilities I have brought on myself. Guy insists on my taking my degree, and by the time that is done, I hope my course may be clear to me. I mean this letter for a farewell. Don’t think I hope that you will answer it. Even now, I can’t be sorry that I love you. In the very ends of the earth I shall remember you. I have often said that nothing should come between me and my longing for you, but my own violence has put me off from you. I have loved you a great deal better than my honour, and you were right to turn away. But, oh, Constancy, you are the one thing in the universe to me, and no one else will ever love you half so much. I feel as if I must some day wake from a dream, and find myself fit and free once more to move Heaven and earth in my cause, and to win you yet. Say what you will, I believe that I could. But now I can only sign myself in the fullest meaning of the word, unworthy as I am to use it,—“Yours faithfully,—“Godfrey Waynflete.”Constancy read this letter through with burning cheeks, and feelings in her heart that showed themselves as impatient anger. She quite understood it, and Godfrey stood out before her mental vision, vivid and picturesque with his single aim, and his single heart. But her soul rebelled against the demand on her sympathy. Like all people of strong imagination, she was a moral coward; to enter into the depths of such passionate remorse—such devotion of purpose, was too serious, too absorbing a thing. To realise it, so as to say anything real about it, demanded too much, and she scorned such unreality as she recognised. She knew that an appeal had been made to her, not so much for her love, as for the support of her comprehension. She could not say soft, unmeaning words; she knew what was asked of her much too well. She could have comprehended him and helped him through, but, “I don’t believe in the need of it all!” she said to herself. “He had much better forget all about it, and turn away to something fresh. I don’t want to go down into the depths with him. I want my own soul to myself.”So she got a little sheet of rough, square paper, and wrote upon it a little note in the individual characteristic hand which was like nobody else’s.“Dear Mr Waynflete,—“I was extremely sorry to hear of dear Mrs Waynflete’s death. I never knew any one like her, and she was very kind to me. I can’t think that she would have altered her intentions at the last moment, though I am sure you must be very sorry to have prevented your brother from coming to her sooner. I hope he will soon be quite well again. I never think there is much good in dwelling on things that are over and done with. Do you think anything ever matters quite as much as one thinks it does? I cannot pretend to be so constant to the past. And blaming one’s self only makes one stupid and spoils one’s future chances. All sorts of new things will be sure to happen, and whatever is, is likely to be just as right as anything else.“Yours truly,—“Constancy Vyner.”“There! It would be rather horrid of me not to write,” she thought, as she directed the rough square envelope, “but I couldn’t enter into all those desperate heroics.” Yet all the while she was preaching new things, the image of such a desperate hero was forcing itself on her imagination, a story built itself up in her mind, in which the nobleness of such a single aim, the grandeur of such depth of feeling was shown in clear, strong outline. But in real life the type was too inconvenient.Perhaps it was in defiance of an uneasy conscience, to prove to herself her own self-satisfaction, that she showed Florella the letter, and described her answer to it.“Why don’t you speak, Flo?” she said impatiently. “You make my soul wriggle before you. What have I done?”“Nothing, it seems,” answered Florella, in sombre tones.“Well, what could I do? I should be very wrong to encourage him, and he would take it as encouragement if I went down with him into such a Slough of Despond!”“Did you really want him to think that what he did was of no consequence? I wonder if you have succeeded.”“I don’t mean to have anything to do with him,” said Constancy, resolutely.But she knew in her secret soul that she had been a coward.She went back to college, to all the engrossing interests of college life, and Florella returned with her aunt to London, for a winter to be spent partly in the ordinary duties and pleasures of a young lady at home, and partly in the steady and careful study of her art.For what was she to Guy Waynflete but a blight acquaintance, a girl who had met him a few times, and with whom his intercourse had been so slight as hardly to raise a remark.That was strange, when all the force her spirit could transmit went into her promised prayers for him, and, when to such entire ignorance of what had outwardly happened, she united that inner sense of living with him through all. The contrast made her shy of mentioning his name; but when some few days after her return to town, she went over one afternoon to the Stauntons, it was with the hope of hearing something about him. She was told that Miss Staunton would be in directly, if she liked to go upstairs and wait for her, and she went up into the pleasant shabby drawing-room. Some one was lying back in a low easy-chair by the fire, and Florella knew in a moment that it was Guy himself.He sat up and looked at her with an eager, half-doubtful, half-delighted look, but though her heart gave a great throb, she came forward holding out her hand, and speaking in her soft, composed voice.“Mr Waynflete! Please don’t get up. I hope you are better.”“Oh yes! But Staunton has made me come up with him to see the doctor again. We came yesterday; I was tired to-day, so I have only just come downstairs. But I am a great deal better.”After this Florella sat down on a low chair in front of the fire, and there was a silence. She could speak no more commonplaces.“You know,” said Guy, after a minute, “that I was not beaten. I was not quite too late.”“Yes, I know.”“It was very hard.”“Very.”“You helped me.”“I tried.”“Do you knowwhathappened?”“No.”“That doesn’t matter. You mustn’t know, you mustn’t see. But enough strength came.”“Yes.”“I shall hold on, and you will—help.”“I will; I do.”“Pray formysoul.”“Yes.”They had spoken in low, quiet tones—the words seemed to drop out; but now the spell broke, and Florella looked away and spoke with a falter.“But it has been very bad for you; you are ill—and things went wrong.”“Oh,” said Guy, “I shall be able, I hope, to set things pretty right. I can get along—”As he spoke there was a step, and Cuthbert came in, followed by his sister.“Ah, Guy—here you are,” he said. “Getting rested? I should think you wanted some tea.”There was a little bustle, and the tea-things were brought with a lamp, and in the talk that followed, Florella learned more of how things were going at Ingleby. Godfrey had returned to Oxford; Mrs Joshua Palmer and Jeanie were to stay on at the Mill House for the present; and Guy meant to go back there as soon as he had seen the doctor, and Cuthbert was claimed by his work.“He has much business on hand,” Staunton told her aside; “but I cannot think how he will get on in that dull house. I wish the doctor would insist on sending him abroad. But he wouldn’t go; his heart is set on his work.”“Then I think the work is best for him,” said Florella.“Yes, one can’t interfere. But it is a frightful risk. I believe he’ll kill himself over it.”Cuthbert spoke with some irritation. He was very anxious, and his wise resolve was hard to keep. Florella’s heart sank. She might lend Guy her strength for the battle, but she could not save him from a single blow.They asked her to dim with them quietly on the next night, and she gladly promised to come. She would hear a little more.When she came, Guy seemed better. He sat by her at dinner, and joined in the cheerful trivial talk, with a look of ease and pleasure. They said nothing special to each other, there was hardly the ordinary consciousness of mutual attraction between them, yet she was happy, and he for once at rest.After dinner there was music, and as Kitty Staunton played softly, and they listened to it together, Guy watched her gracious harmonious outlines, and felt glad that her dress, though long and ruffed, with a broad silk sash, quite unlike the linen frock she had worn at Moorhead, was still of a soft tender blue. It still suggested the harebells. He said nothing more about himself; indeed he forgot himself and thought of her.He wished her good night with a smile, and a long, steady look, as if he was drinking in the comfort of her presence. It never occurred to him for a moment that the help she gave him was at the cost of suffering to herself. He did not understand that a star must burn before it can shine.But when he went upstairs, and looked steadily round to face his enemy in a new place, he woke to the sense that, through all the evening he had never seen or dreaded him. The fear had been forgotten. With the first thought the strange thing was before him; but just then, he looked with indifferent curiosity. He had told his own story to the doctor, and had heard in return that he would risk his life by over-exertion, or by any mental shock or strain; and that rest, change, and amusement were by far the most likely cure for the nervous affection that troubled him, and for every other tendency that he had cause to dread.“Still,” said Guy, “there is no chance for me, but going back and doing what I can.”And to Cuthbert’s surprise, the doctor gave in and admitted that a strong interest in his work was good, and perhaps with due care, he had better try, for a time. Guy promised prudence, and gained his point.He parted from his friend in the same determined fashion, though he did not try to hide that the parting was hard. Cuthbert wondered, as he had often wondered before, how any one could be at once so dependent and so self-reliant.In the same breath he said, with wistful eyes, “You’ll write to me often, won’t you? Even a card; or if you just wire, it will be something;” and, “I can’t help it, you know, if it does kill me; I’ve got to do it.”And the grounds of this conviction were quite incommunicable. As for Florella, she felt as if all power of “help” had deserted her, and that nothing was left but anxiety.What had he known of her strange experience? When she had gone down into the depths with him, how had he known it? He had taken her knowledge for granted, and claimed her continual help. Butwhatdid she know, and what had she done? Florella’s spirit dealt with strange things, and she paid the penalty of trouble and disturbance of soul. Thoughts and questionings which her young spirit could hardly bear, came to her, and since she had so thrown herself out of herself to aid him, the delicate balance of her nature was risked as well as his.The minute and exceeding care with which she practised her flower-painting was her refuge and safeguard through these difficult months.And she was not left alone, with only herself and Guy to think of. She had a great many acquaintances, old school-fellows, and others; some of whom were struggling to find a place among the workers of the day, others who were in the swing of the London circle to which Mrs Palmer belonged.Florella had always obtained confidences. Her reposeful manner, her good sense, and her kindliness brought them. But now she heard story after story of trouble and temptation, perplexity, or discontent. “I always feel as if you could see my soul!” one girl said to her. She listened, and said such words as came to her. She felt sometimes as if she was in the very whirl and rush of life’s battle, while outwardly nothing happened to her at all. She painted flowers, and went out to parties with her aunt.
After Godfrey’s wild visit to Moorhead, the first news that came to Constancy and Florella from Waynflete, was the announcement to their aunt from Mrs Joshua Palmer of the death in the family. It came after they had joined her at Harrowgate, and was quite short and formal, without any mention of the two young men.
Constancy was honestly shocked and grieved. The high-spirited, vigorous old lady had struck her fancy, and the wreath she sent was a genuine expression of feeling.
The next thing was a polite visit from old Mr Matthew, as it was the custom to call him, with his report of the funeral, and of the contents of the will, together with his comments thereon.
“Neither of the lads looks as if he’d make a hand of the business. The eldest is but a poor, weakly fellow, and of course the old lady must have had very good reasons for passing him over and preferring his brother. Eh! they’re a queer lot, are the Waynfletes, a bad stock—a bad stock—and that’s a thing there’s no getting over.”
Mrs John Palmer replied with polite hopes that their bringing up might have partly got over it; but though she was not very fond of her husband’s family, on family occasions she remembered Palmer prejudices, and felt for the moment that the two Waynfletes were interlopers.
Constancy heard of Godfrey’s inheritance with a great throb of surprise. How would he take it? How had it come about? She remembered how Guy had been sent for at the last, and she wondered, being keen enough to guess how much there was to wonder at. Just before she left Yorkshire she received a letter. It began abruptly—
“I am writing to you because, little as you may care to hear, I could never look in your face again, unless you knew the worst of me. Probably face to face I never shall see you, but let me at least have the right to think of you with less utter shame. My aunt intended, if my brother had obeyed her summons at once, to have talked over business matters with him, and to have destroyed the will in my favour, under which I have the misfortune to inherit. I first of all forgot, in my preoccupation, to post her letter to Guy, so that he could not come till the later train, and then, as you know, in my mad desire to see you once more, and alone, I failed to send to meet him at Kirk Hinton. If he had come in the morning, as but for me he would, probably my aunt’s accident would never have happened, and he could have satisfied her mind on the points between them. As it was, he only came just before the end, when, though she knew him, she could not speak to him. Moreover, the long walk and the hurry and shock, all through my act, so injured him, that I thought his death, as well as all the rest, would lie at my door. I see Staunton thinks it may be so even yet. Guy has been most generous to me, but that only increases the dreadful weight of remorse that lies on me. You will see how impossible it is that I should profit by the results of my own wicked jealousy. I have pledged myself never to do so. I have now no right to tell you that I love you, or to come forward for your favour any more. I have often been stung by your contempt; but you see it was quite justifiable. I have but one purpose now, to free myself from the responsibilities I have brought on myself. Guy insists on my taking my degree, and by the time that is done, I hope my course may be clear to me. I mean this letter for a farewell. Don’t think I hope that you will answer it. Even now, I can’t be sorry that I love you. In the very ends of the earth I shall remember you. I have often said that nothing should come between me and my longing for you, but my own violence has put me off from you. I have loved you a great deal better than my honour, and you were right to turn away. But, oh, Constancy, you are the one thing in the universe to me, and no one else will ever love you half so much. I feel as if I must some day wake from a dream, and find myself fit and free once more to move Heaven and earth in my cause, and to win you yet. Say what you will, I believe that I could. But now I can only sign myself in the fullest meaning of the word, unworthy as I am to use it,—
“Yours faithfully,—
“Godfrey Waynflete.”
Constancy read this letter through with burning cheeks, and feelings in her heart that showed themselves as impatient anger. She quite understood it, and Godfrey stood out before her mental vision, vivid and picturesque with his single aim, and his single heart. But her soul rebelled against the demand on her sympathy. Like all people of strong imagination, she was a moral coward; to enter into the depths of such passionate remorse—such devotion of purpose, was too serious, too absorbing a thing. To realise it, so as to say anything real about it, demanded too much, and she scorned such unreality as she recognised. She knew that an appeal had been made to her, not so much for her love, as for the support of her comprehension. She could not say soft, unmeaning words; she knew what was asked of her much too well. She could have comprehended him and helped him through, but, “I don’t believe in the need of it all!” she said to herself. “He had much better forget all about it, and turn away to something fresh. I don’t want to go down into the depths with him. I want my own soul to myself.”
So she got a little sheet of rough, square paper, and wrote upon it a little note in the individual characteristic hand which was like nobody else’s.
“Dear Mr Waynflete,—
“I was extremely sorry to hear of dear Mrs Waynflete’s death. I never knew any one like her, and she was very kind to me. I can’t think that she would have altered her intentions at the last moment, though I am sure you must be very sorry to have prevented your brother from coming to her sooner. I hope he will soon be quite well again. I never think there is much good in dwelling on things that are over and done with. Do you think anything ever matters quite as much as one thinks it does? I cannot pretend to be so constant to the past. And blaming one’s self only makes one stupid and spoils one’s future chances. All sorts of new things will be sure to happen, and whatever is, is likely to be just as right as anything else.
“Yours truly,—
“Constancy Vyner.”
“There! It would be rather horrid of me not to write,” she thought, as she directed the rough square envelope, “but I couldn’t enter into all those desperate heroics.” Yet all the while she was preaching new things, the image of such a desperate hero was forcing itself on her imagination, a story built itself up in her mind, in which the nobleness of such a single aim, the grandeur of such depth of feeling was shown in clear, strong outline. But in real life the type was too inconvenient.
Perhaps it was in defiance of an uneasy conscience, to prove to herself her own self-satisfaction, that she showed Florella the letter, and described her answer to it.
“Why don’t you speak, Flo?” she said impatiently. “You make my soul wriggle before you. What have I done?”
“Nothing, it seems,” answered Florella, in sombre tones.
“Well, what could I do? I should be very wrong to encourage him, and he would take it as encouragement if I went down with him into such a Slough of Despond!”
“Did you really want him to think that what he did was of no consequence? I wonder if you have succeeded.”
“I don’t mean to have anything to do with him,” said Constancy, resolutely.
But she knew in her secret soul that she had been a coward.
She went back to college, to all the engrossing interests of college life, and Florella returned with her aunt to London, for a winter to be spent partly in the ordinary duties and pleasures of a young lady at home, and partly in the steady and careful study of her art.
For what was she to Guy Waynflete but a blight acquaintance, a girl who had met him a few times, and with whom his intercourse had been so slight as hardly to raise a remark.
That was strange, when all the force her spirit could transmit went into her promised prayers for him, and, when to such entire ignorance of what had outwardly happened, she united that inner sense of living with him through all. The contrast made her shy of mentioning his name; but when some few days after her return to town, she went over one afternoon to the Stauntons, it was with the hope of hearing something about him. She was told that Miss Staunton would be in directly, if she liked to go upstairs and wait for her, and she went up into the pleasant shabby drawing-room. Some one was lying back in a low easy-chair by the fire, and Florella knew in a moment that it was Guy himself.
He sat up and looked at her with an eager, half-doubtful, half-delighted look, but though her heart gave a great throb, she came forward holding out her hand, and speaking in her soft, composed voice.
“Mr Waynflete! Please don’t get up. I hope you are better.”
“Oh yes! But Staunton has made me come up with him to see the doctor again. We came yesterday; I was tired to-day, so I have only just come downstairs. But I am a great deal better.”
After this Florella sat down on a low chair in front of the fire, and there was a silence. She could speak no more commonplaces.
“You know,” said Guy, after a minute, “that I was not beaten. I was not quite too late.”
“Yes, I know.”
“It was very hard.”
“Very.”
“You helped me.”
“I tried.”
“Do you knowwhathappened?”
“No.”
“That doesn’t matter. You mustn’t know, you mustn’t see. But enough strength came.”
“Yes.”
“I shall hold on, and you will—help.”
“I will; I do.”
“Pray formysoul.”
“Yes.”
They had spoken in low, quiet tones—the words seemed to drop out; but now the spell broke, and Florella looked away and spoke with a falter.
“But it has been very bad for you; you are ill—and things went wrong.”
“Oh,” said Guy, “I shall be able, I hope, to set things pretty right. I can get along—”
As he spoke there was a step, and Cuthbert came in, followed by his sister.
“Ah, Guy—here you are,” he said. “Getting rested? I should think you wanted some tea.”
There was a little bustle, and the tea-things were brought with a lamp, and in the talk that followed, Florella learned more of how things were going at Ingleby. Godfrey had returned to Oxford; Mrs Joshua Palmer and Jeanie were to stay on at the Mill House for the present; and Guy meant to go back there as soon as he had seen the doctor, and Cuthbert was claimed by his work.
“He has much business on hand,” Staunton told her aside; “but I cannot think how he will get on in that dull house. I wish the doctor would insist on sending him abroad. But he wouldn’t go; his heart is set on his work.”
“Then I think the work is best for him,” said Florella.
“Yes, one can’t interfere. But it is a frightful risk. I believe he’ll kill himself over it.”
Cuthbert spoke with some irritation. He was very anxious, and his wise resolve was hard to keep. Florella’s heart sank. She might lend Guy her strength for the battle, but she could not save him from a single blow.
They asked her to dim with them quietly on the next night, and she gladly promised to come. She would hear a little more.
When she came, Guy seemed better. He sat by her at dinner, and joined in the cheerful trivial talk, with a look of ease and pleasure. They said nothing special to each other, there was hardly the ordinary consciousness of mutual attraction between them, yet she was happy, and he for once at rest.
After dinner there was music, and as Kitty Staunton played softly, and they listened to it together, Guy watched her gracious harmonious outlines, and felt glad that her dress, though long and ruffed, with a broad silk sash, quite unlike the linen frock she had worn at Moorhead, was still of a soft tender blue. It still suggested the harebells. He said nothing more about himself; indeed he forgot himself and thought of her.
He wished her good night with a smile, and a long, steady look, as if he was drinking in the comfort of her presence. It never occurred to him for a moment that the help she gave him was at the cost of suffering to herself. He did not understand that a star must burn before it can shine.
But when he went upstairs, and looked steadily round to face his enemy in a new place, he woke to the sense that, through all the evening he had never seen or dreaded him. The fear had been forgotten. With the first thought the strange thing was before him; but just then, he looked with indifferent curiosity. He had told his own story to the doctor, and had heard in return that he would risk his life by over-exertion, or by any mental shock or strain; and that rest, change, and amusement were by far the most likely cure for the nervous affection that troubled him, and for every other tendency that he had cause to dread.
“Still,” said Guy, “there is no chance for me, but going back and doing what I can.”
And to Cuthbert’s surprise, the doctor gave in and admitted that a strong interest in his work was good, and perhaps with due care, he had better try, for a time. Guy promised prudence, and gained his point.
He parted from his friend in the same determined fashion, though he did not try to hide that the parting was hard. Cuthbert wondered, as he had often wondered before, how any one could be at once so dependent and so self-reliant.
In the same breath he said, with wistful eyes, “You’ll write to me often, won’t you? Even a card; or if you just wire, it will be something;” and, “I can’t help it, you know, if it does kill me; I’ve got to do it.”
And the grounds of this conviction were quite incommunicable. As for Florella, she felt as if all power of “help” had deserted her, and that nothing was left but anxiety.
What had he known of her strange experience? When she had gone down into the depths with him, how had he known it? He had taken her knowledge for granted, and claimed her continual help. Butwhatdid she know, and what had she done? Florella’s spirit dealt with strange things, and she paid the penalty of trouble and disturbance of soul. Thoughts and questionings which her young spirit could hardly bear, came to her, and since she had so thrown herself out of herself to aid him, the delicate balance of her nature was risked as well as his.
The minute and exceeding care with which she practised her flower-painting was her refuge and safeguard through these difficult months.
And she was not left alone, with only herself and Guy to think of. She had a great many acquaintances, old school-fellows, and others; some of whom were struggling to find a place among the workers of the day, others who were in the swing of the London circle to which Mrs Palmer belonged.
Florella had always obtained confidences. Her reposeful manner, her good sense, and her kindliness brought them. But now she heard story after story of trouble and temptation, perplexity, or discontent. “I always feel as if you could see my soul!” one girl said to her. She listened, and said such words as came to her. She felt sometimes as if she was in the very whirl and rush of life’s battle, while outwardly nothing happened to her at all. She painted flowers, and went out to parties with her aunt.
Part 2, Chapter XII.Harebells in Snow.Fifty thousand pounds! For a penniless girl to find herself suddenly possessed of such a golden dower is a very wonderful experience. This was the fate which, towards the end of November, descended upon little Jeanie Palmer, and, as she truly said, “It was quite upsetting.” It came in a natural, though unexpected manner. An uncle died, possessed of a much larger fortune than had been supposed, and divided it by will, between Jeanie and another niece. That “something” might come to her from this quarter, her mother had always hoped; but nothing so splendid had ever been anticipated. It meant, in the first place, frocks of an altogether different quality to any Jeanie had previously possessed; and, in the second, an entire change of plans for herself and her mother.It had been a great advantage last summer to come to Ingleby, and live in so comfortable and dignified a fashion; but now Jeanie would have her own house, and needed her mother to arrange it for her.Besides, Godfrey would be coming back, and if he chose to seek out Jeanie again, he should see her in a new light. No one would ever feel her to be anybody at Ingleby; but, among the Palmers, she would be now a person of consequence, and her mother told Guy that she was sorry to break up their comfortable arrangements, but Jeanie had business to attend to, and must go to old Mr Matthew Palmer’s, near Rilston, he being her trustee.“I am very sorry you must go, Cousin Susan,” said Guy, with perfect truth.And yet it did not seem to the two ladies that their presence in the house could have made much difference to him. Every hour that his strength held out he spent on his work, and when he was driven to what he called resting, he often shut himself up in the study, and what he did there, they knew not. He had what Mrs Palmer called, “uncomfortable ways.” They felt him to be an uncomfortable person. His colourless face and preoccupied eyes—eyes that seemed always watchful, but that watched for something out of other people’s ken, like a wild creature’s, who scents or hears some far-off foe—were too odd to be pleasant.In the mill, however, he proved himself born to rule. In spite of his youth and his bad health, he made himself felt in every corner of it, and won allegiance, if not affection. It was not his way to be irritable, but he was always grave; often stern and sarcastic, determined and dictatorial as ever old Margaret had been in the hey-day of her strength. When he stood leaning against the doorway of the long rooms, breathless with climbing the stairs, there was not a worker who did not wish to avoid his criticism; while the old managers gave in to his daring new departures, and never doubted that he could sail the ship.His chief comfort was the entire and unexpected devotion of old John Cooper. He obeyed Guy loyally, but he also watched over him like a father. He had a careful old wife, who sent him in cups of tea, and provided him with luncheons, and this care he contrived should be extended to the young man too. He worked hard, so as to save him exertion, and never resented the quick, sharp orders, or the short, absent manner, and Guy was grateful—more grateful than he knew how to show. The old manager’s devotion helped him very much. There was Rawdie, also, whom he had begged of Godfrey, who slept on his bed and nestled at his side, and was a living presence, and a loving one too.If the demands of the business upon him saved his wits, it strained them to the utmost. It was touch and go with Palmer Brothers, all through the winter, and if Guy had not been as clever as he was desperate, they must have gone under. It was just a case of holding on. If that had been all, he could hardly have borne it. But such anxiety was swept out of his mind by the other thoughts that thronged upon him. He could not sleep, so he read half the night—medicine and science, metaphysics and religion, magic and mysticism, demonology and witchcraft, theories of heredity and legends of possession, psychical researches and spiritual revelations. And then it struck him that the Bible might throw some light on the subject. He had learned “divinity,” and frequently heard and occasionally read the lessons, like other well-brought-up young men; but he had never read it with any personal object. He came to the conclusion that Saint Paul knew something about the matter. “Resisting unto death—striving against sin,” exactly expressed it. And sometimes the foe pressed hard and home—and then there were perilous moments for reason’s sway. Guy looked the haunting terror in the face. He took its likeness—“wrote it down,” as he had said—spoke to it—defied it—well, those were times better forgotten, and when Rawdie hung on to his trousers and pulled him back, he knew that he was making a mad rush at—nothing at all. But more and more the conviction strengthened, that whatever personal influences shaped the forms of his experience, behind it lay a “power outside himself that made for”evil, a power at one with all the evil of the world. Where, then, was the power that makes for good?He sat alone one evening by the study fire, and asked this question in vain. Could he hold on any longer? He was so lonely, and the weather was so cold, it took away all his little strength. Godfrey was not coming home for Christmas. Nerves and brain would endure no longer the solitude—that wasnotsolitude. He put his hand over his eyes.“If Rawdie had not been there last night.” But Rawdie had been there—there always was something. As to the mill, there were flashes of certainty as to the right course, and a word or a kindly deed of old Cooper’s just gave strength to put them in practice. The sun struggled through the fog yesterday, and raised his spirits; the day before there was a letter from Cuthbert. Sometimes he dreamed of Florella, or the sense that she was “helping” pressed warm upon his soul. And now there was the connected thought of all these rescuing facts. But the source from which they came was veiled. He could not “feel” good as he “felt” evil. He could not trust himself to think of the gun in the gun-cupboard at the side of the bookcase, of the doctor’s medicine, of which too large a dose would be so easy—of the brandy in the cellar—which would drown all this agony or give strength to defy it. These images of escape pressed on him like living souls. Either would be so easy. Pray? Yes, but in such moments, before the prayer is offered, the victory must be won. The will of steel that had endured so much was breaking now. Guy got up and thought that he would look at that gun, which had been unused all the autumn. The drops were upstairs, and the brandy was in the cellar; but the gun was in the very room. He went over to the cupboard; but he was dizzy, and his hand shook a little; the key did not turn very easily. He fumbled with it. If he shot himself, what would happen to his double? Why—thatwould be gone out of the world with himself—and the world would go on without him. Would Florella ever learn to paint blue harebells in the sun? The dancing flowers shone and smiled before his mental vision. The key turned in his hand; but he turned it back again.“I can bear it—another day,” he thought, as he leaned against the bookcase, with his hand still on the key.Suddenly Rawdie burst into loud barking; the door bell pealed through the empty house. Guy started away from the cupboard, the room door opened, and a telegram was brought in.“Don’t like your last note. Coming to you for Christmas; arrive 9:30. Staunton.”When the door was shut again, Guy flung the key of the gun-cupboard into the fire, and fell down on his knees and gave thanks. Assuredly it was not himself that had saved him.When Cuthbert came, after a long day of travel from the far west, he found supper ready, lights bright and fire warm, and Guy with a welcome that was beyond words, quiet and even cheerful, but so white and worn, that his friend rejoiced in the sudden impulse that had induced him to brave his sisters’ wrath, and give up Christmas at home to come to him.“Why are you alone,” he said. “Where is Godfrey?”“Godfrey went off to the Rabys. He has got off the track altogether somehow; his degree, you know, was a disappointment—and—well, he’ll have to come back soon and face matters out. Never mind! The mill hasn’t yet put up the shutters, and I’m still here, you see, spite of the devil and all his angels, to say nothing of the frost, which I think is going to kill me, and save farther trouble. No; but I’m rather bad, old fellow, and you’ve just come in time to take care of me, for I can’t take care of myself a day longer. I get such bad nights, and I want you to read me to sleep, I’m so tired.”Guy gave himself up to the comfort of his friend’s presence, with a grateful sense of his need of it. His boyish pride was gone. He told Cuthbert very little; but his silence was the reticence of one who knew that surface words were of no avail, and that no one’s opinion made any difference to his own judgment. He had regained the mastery of his nerves; but his strength had been over-taxed, and he could but just manage the most necessary business, till, when on Christmas Day itself, snow fell heavily and the frost intensified, the cold tried him so much that nothing but lying still by the fire was possible to him.A belated postman struggled through the snow, with a bundle of letters, of which a whole sheaf of loving home greetings fell to Cuthbert’s share; but to the lonely Guy, only a very smart Christmas card from Cousin Susan.His home had never been a very tender one; but still, such as it was, he had lost it since last year. He felt hurt at his brother’s silence, and his heart failed him utterly. Why struggle to keep hold of so hard a life? He turned his face towards the wall.“Here’s something for you,” said Cuthbert, as he opened his last letter. “Violet says, ‘Florella Vyner asked me to send you this little drawing for Mr Waynflete. She says he saw her failures in drawing harebells, last summer, and she hopes these will not look quite so bad, as it is winter now.’ She—hum—ha—well— Here’s the drawing,” said Cuthbert, breaking off as he read aloud.Guy turned round with a start, and taking the envelope, opened it.There, blue against the blue of heaven, was the little bunch of harebells, dim and cold doubtless, as compared to the originals in sun and light, but “living blue” still, fair enough to tell of springing thoughts and hopes and loves, in the dead cold of the winter snow.A warm flush came over Guy’s face. How much the high consolations within him were reinforced by this little bit of human joy! Hope and courage came back, and life was worth living again. Cuthbert watched him this time with full comprehension.“Ah,” he thought. “So—is that to be the cure?”Violet had remarked that Florella was apparently too shy to send the card herself.“But, it’s no use pretending, she always manages to hear what we know about him. Don’t you tell him I said so.”Cuthbert said nothing, for nothing was needed. A new vision had opened itself before Guy’s spirit. Was the strange comprehension between himself and Florella to bloom out into so lovely a flower?“I owe her all,” he thought. “She set me fighting. I knew she was a saint and an angel. And I love her.”He took up his arms again with renewed courage. Before he won Florella, he must be free. She was not only a helping angel, she was his heart’s love, and he must be strong enough to take care of her.He gazed long at the little picture, then folded it away, and getting up from the sofa, went over to the old piano, unused for many weeks, and began to play the old North-country Christmas hymn, familiar to his earliest childhood, “Christians awake.”“I can’t sing now,” he said; but he hummed the words softly, and sang a line or two at intervals—“Peace upon earth, and unto men good will.”“We’ll have a little Christmas,” he said, with a smile.
Fifty thousand pounds! For a penniless girl to find herself suddenly possessed of such a golden dower is a very wonderful experience. This was the fate which, towards the end of November, descended upon little Jeanie Palmer, and, as she truly said, “It was quite upsetting.” It came in a natural, though unexpected manner. An uncle died, possessed of a much larger fortune than had been supposed, and divided it by will, between Jeanie and another niece. That “something” might come to her from this quarter, her mother had always hoped; but nothing so splendid had ever been anticipated. It meant, in the first place, frocks of an altogether different quality to any Jeanie had previously possessed; and, in the second, an entire change of plans for herself and her mother.
It had been a great advantage last summer to come to Ingleby, and live in so comfortable and dignified a fashion; but now Jeanie would have her own house, and needed her mother to arrange it for her.
Besides, Godfrey would be coming back, and if he chose to seek out Jeanie again, he should see her in a new light. No one would ever feel her to be anybody at Ingleby; but, among the Palmers, she would be now a person of consequence, and her mother told Guy that she was sorry to break up their comfortable arrangements, but Jeanie had business to attend to, and must go to old Mr Matthew Palmer’s, near Rilston, he being her trustee.
“I am very sorry you must go, Cousin Susan,” said Guy, with perfect truth.
And yet it did not seem to the two ladies that their presence in the house could have made much difference to him. Every hour that his strength held out he spent on his work, and when he was driven to what he called resting, he often shut himself up in the study, and what he did there, they knew not. He had what Mrs Palmer called, “uncomfortable ways.” They felt him to be an uncomfortable person. His colourless face and preoccupied eyes—eyes that seemed always watchful, but that watched for something out of other people’s ken, like a wild creature’s, who scents or hears some far-off foe—were too odd to be pleasant.
In the mill, however, he proved himself born to rule. In spite of his youth and his bad health, he made himself felt in every corner of it, and won allegiance, if not affection. It was not his way to be irritable, but he was always grave; often stern and sarcastic, determined and dictatorial as ever old Margaret had been in the hey-day of her strength. When he stood leaning against the doorway of the long rooms, breathless with climbing the stairs, there was not a worker who did not wish to avoid his criticism; while the old managers gave in to his daring new departures, and never doubted that he could sail the ship.
His chief comfort was the entire and unexpected devotion of old John Cooper. He obeyed Guy loyally, but he also watched over him like a father. He had a careful old wife, who sent him in cups of tea, and provided him with luncheons, and this care he contrived should be extended to the young man too. He worked hard, so as to save him exertion, and never resented the quick, sharp orders, or the short, absent manner, and Guy was grateful—more grateful than he knew how to show. The old manager’s devotion helped him very much. There was Rawdie, also, whom he had begged of Godfrey, who slept on his bed and nestled at his side, and was a living presence, and a loving one too.
If the demands of the business upon him saved his wits, it strained them to the utmost. It was touch and go with Palmer Brothers, all through the winter, and if Guy had not been as clever as he was desperate, they must have gone under. It was just a case of holding on. If that had been all, he could hardly have borne it. But such anxiety was swept out of his mind by the other thoughts that thronged upon him. He could not sleep, so he read half the night—medicine and science, metaphysics and religion, magic and mysticism, demonology and witchcraft, theories of heredity and legends of possession, psychical researches and spiritual revelations. And then it struck him that the Bible might throw some light on the subject. He had learned “divinity,” and frequently heard and occasionally read the lessons, like other well-brought-up young men; but he had never read it with any personal object. He came to the conclusion that Saint Paul knew something about the matter. “Resisting unto death—striving against sin,” exactly expressed it. And sometimes the foe pressed hard and home—and then there were perilous moments for reason’s sway. Guy looked the haunting terror in the face. He took its likeness—“wrote it down,” as he had said—spoke to it—defied it—well, those were times better forgotten, and when Rawdie hung on to his trousers and pulled him back, he knew that he was making a mad rush at—nothing at all. But more and more the conviction strengthened, that whatever personal influences shaped the forms of his experience, behind it lay a “power outside himself that made for”evil, a power at one with all the evil of the world. Where, then, was the power that makes for good?
He sat alone one evening by the study fire, and asked this question in vain. Could he hold on any longer? He was so lonely, and the weather was so cold, it took away all his little strength. Godfrey was not coming home for Christmas. Nerves and brain would endure no longer the solitude—that wasnotsolitude. He put his hand over his eyes.
“If Rawdie had not been there last night.” But Rawdie had been there—there always was something. As to the mill, there were flashes of certainty as to the right course, and a word or a kindly deed of old Cooper’s just gave strength to put them in practice. The sun struggled through the fog yesterday, and raised his spirits; the day before there was a letter from Cuthbert. Sometimes he dreamed of Florella, or the sense that she was “helping” pressed warm upon his soul. And now there was the connected thought of all these rescuing facts. But the source from which they came was veiled. He could not “feel” good as he “felt” evil. He could not trust himself to think of the gun in the gun-cupboard at the side of the bookcase, of the doctor’s medicine, of which too large a dose would be so easy—of the brandy in the cellar—which would drown all this agony or give strength to defy it. These images of escape pressed on him like living souls. Either would be so easy. Pray? Yes, but in such moments, before the prayer is offered, the victory must be won. The will of steel that had endured so much was breaking now. Guy got up and thought that he would look at that gun, which had been unused all the autumn. The drops were upstairs, and the brandy was in the cellar; but the gun was in the very room. He went over to the cupboard; but he was dizzy, and his hand shook a little; the key did not turn very easily. He fumbled with it. If he shot himself, what would happen to his double? Why—thatwould be gone out of the world with himself—and the world would go on without him. Would Florella ever learn to paint blue harebells in the sun? The dancing flowers shone and smiled before his mental vision. The key turned in his hand; but he turned it back again.
“I can bear it—another day,” he thought, as he leaned against the bookcase, with his hand still on the key.
Suddenly Rawdie burst into loud barking; the door bell pealed through the empty house. Guy started away from the cupboard, the room door opened, and a telegram was brought in.
“Don’t like your last note. Coming to you for Christmas; arrive 9:30. Staunton.”
When the door was shut again, Guy flung the key of the gun-cupboard into the fire, and fell down on his knees and gave thanks. Assuredly it was not himself that had saved him.
When Cuthbert came, after a long day of travel from the far west, he found supper ready, lights bright and fire warm, and Guy with a welcome that was beyond words, quiet and even cheerful, but so white and worn, that his friend rejoiced in the sudden impulse that had induced him to brave his sisters’ wrath, and give up Christmas at home to come to him.
“Why are you alone,” he said. “Where is Godfrey?”
“Godfrey went off to the Rabys. He has got off the track altogether somehow; his degree, you know, was a disappointment—and—well, he’ll have to come back soon and face matters out. Never mind! The mill hasn’t yet put up the shutters, and I’m still here, you see, spite of the devil and all his angels, to say nothing of the frost, which I think is going to kill me, and save farther trouble. No; but I’m rather bad, old fellow, and you’ve just come in time to take care of me, for I can’t take care of myself a day longer. I get such bad nights, and I want you to read me to sleep, I’m so tired.”
Guy gave himself up to the comfort of his friend’s presence, with a grateful sense of his need of it. His boyish pride was gone. He told Cuthbert very little; but his silence was the reticence of one who knew that surface words were of no avail, and that no one’s opinion made any difference to his own judgment. He had regained the mastery of his nerves; but his strength had been over-taxed, and he could but just manage the most necessary business, till, when on Christmas Day itself, snow fell heavily and the frost intensified, the cold tried him so much that nothing but lying still by the fire was possible to him.
A belated postman struggled through the snow, with a bundle of letters, of which a whole sheaf of loving home greetings fell to Cuthbert’s share; but to the lonely Guy, only a very smart Christmas card from Cousin Susan.
His home had never been a very tender one; but still, such as it was, he had lost it since last year. He felt hurt at his brother’s silence, and his heart failed him utterly. Why struggle to keep hold of so hard a life? He turned his face towards the wall.
“Here’s something for you,” said Cuthbert, as he opened his last letter. “Violet says, ‘Florella Vyner asked me to send you this little drawing for Mr Waynflete. She says he saw her failures in drawing harebells, last summer, and she hopes these will not look quite so bad, as it is winter now.’ She—hum—ha—well— Here’s the drawing,” said Cuthbert, breaking off as he read aloud.
Guy turned round with a start, and taking the envelope, opened it.
There, blue against the blue of heaven, was the little bunch of harebells, dim and cold doubtless, as compared to the originals in sun and light, but “living blue” still, fair enough to tell of springing thoughts and hopes and loves, in the dead cold of the winter snow.
A warm flush came over Guy’s face. How much the high consolations within him were reinforced by this little bit of human joy! Hope and courage came back, and life was worth living again. Cuthbert watched him this time with full comprehension.
“Ah,” he thought. “So—is that to be the cure?”
Violet had remarked that Florella was apparently too shy to send the card herself.
“But, it’s no use pretending, she always manages to hear what we know about him. Don’t you tell him I said so.”
Cuthbert said nothing, for nothing was needed. A new vision had opened itself before Guy’s spirit. Was the strange comprehension between himself and Florella to bloom out into so lovely a flower?
“I owe her all,” he thought. “She set me fighting. I knew she was a saint and an angel. And I love her.”
He took up his arms again with renewed courage. Before he won Florella, he must be free. She was not only a helping angel, she was his heart’s love, and he must be strong enough to take care of her.
He gazed long at the little picture, then folded it away, and getting up from the sofa, went over to the old piano, unused for many weeks, and began to play the old North-country Christmas hymn, familiar to his earliest childhood, “Christians awake.”
“I can’t sing now,” he said; but he hummed the words softly, and sang a line or two at intervals—
“Peace upon earth, and unto men good will.”
“We’ll have a little Christmas,” he said, with a smile.
Part 3, Chapter I.Handicapped.In the meantime Godfrey, stung to the very quick by Constancy’s shallow answer to the confession which he had forced from the depths of his soul, was kicking against the pricks of disappointed passion, and trying to persuade himself that they did not hurt him. He could not work, he barely scraped through his final examination; he could think of nothing but how to escape from himself. He could not face Guy till his plan of restitution was matured, and he caught at the Rabys’ invitation to go and spend a gay Christmas among a lively set of other young people at Kirkton Hall. He was very miserable, but, when people are young and strong, it is possible to be amused in spite of inward misery, and nobody guessed that Godfrey was either conscience-stricken or broken-hearted; and while he was thus keeping thought at bay, there befell him a great and unexpected temptation.Jeanie, being now at Rilston with the Matthew Palmers, appeared on the scene in the altogether new light of a flattered and considered guest. She was talked of as a prize to be won, and in some occult and mysterious manner it was conveyed to Godfrey that this prize might be his for the asking.Perhaps her Palmer kindred, who were people of much sense in a quiet way, knew what might be the lot of a simple and homely little girl whose great fortune bought a husband of good family and with bad debts. And Godfrey Waynflete, even if his fortune was not great, was no doubt a shrewd young fellow, or his shrewd old aunt would never have preferred him to his elder brother.These ideas were conveyed by sober Palmer cousins to Godfrey’s mind, and they offered him the chance of a life of his own apart from Waynflete and Ingleby. Guy would have fewer scruples if Godfrey did not need the wrongfully gained inheritance. These purposes served as excuses, but it is an old story and never a very creditable one; Godfrey’s heart or, rather, his hand, was just ready to be “caught on the rebound.” Constancy’s contrast had a double charm. And Jeanie, who had always loved attention, now that she could attract it, like Miss Mercy Pecksniff, rose to the occasion. She had both sense and self-esteem, she was no longer the meek little cousin ready to make herself useful, and though she had an honest fancy for Godfrey, life had blossomed out with new possibilities. She knew very well that he had never sought her before, and she did not mean him to walk over the course. Pretended indifference was due to her ideas of propriety.It was intoxicating to find herself made much of by a number of lively young people, all of the sort she knew, and liked, who flirted in her own style, and talked the kind of talk to which she could respond. Under such encouragement she was both pretty and lively, and the young folks at Kirkton and the neighbourhood had what Godfrey, and even Guy a year before, would have thought a very good time. One thing led to another, jokes to blushes, blushes to whispers, whispers to a half-acknowledged understanding, and almost before Godfrey knew what he was about he had practically committed himself, been laughed at and congratulated, and, by the time Christmas week was over, would have been irrevocably bound, had Jeanie ever allowed him to come quite to the point.There had been one of those friendly dances among an intimate set of very young people, when much can pass as the jest of the moment, though the undercurrent of earnest gives the jest its charm.Godfrey and Jeanie had waltzed and whirled through more dances than the young lady chose to count, and Godfrey’s last sight of her was as she skimmed along the polished floor of the gallery after Minnie Raby, refusing to stop and say good night. She peeped round the corner, and flung a rose right into his face, then vanished into her room and banged the door, while a sound like “To-morrow!” caught his ear. Every one was saying good night and running about. She had just refused him the rose in a cotillion, all was “jest and youthful jollity,” but Godfrey felt that “to-morrow” was big with fate. For about the tenth time that evening, he informed himself that he had completely forgotten Constancy.Before he came downstairs the next day, two letters were brought to him. One was from the young vicar of Waynflete, stating that a thaw having taken place on the Sunday after Christmas, four umbrellas had been put up during service, and did Mr Waynflete see his way to a subscription for mending the church roof? The letter was several pages long, and gave a very unflattering picture of the condition of the Waynflete property. The vicar expressed himself with youthful energy, and begged the owner of the property to come and see for himself what had to be done.And let Godfrey say what he would, he was that owner. The other letter was from Guy, and did not fill half a sheet.“Dear Godfrey,—“There is a great deal that must be faced and settled. Pray come home at once, for I must know what you mean to do, and the frost made me so good for nothing that I don’t see my way to getting on without help. I am better now, and Staunton is here with me.“Your affectionate brother,—“Guy Waynflete.”This letter brought Godfrey face to face with his own intentions. If he really meant to present himself before Jeanie’s trustees he must know exactly what he had to say to them. There must be no false pretences. He would go back to Ingleby that very day. His decision, when he proclaimed it, roused a chorus of opposition.“He must come back for the dance on Twelfth Night.”“Oh yes! I mean to come back,” said Godfrey, steadily, with a glance at Jeanie. “But I must go home now. I’ve sent off a telegram to say so.”He got off as soon as he could, and told Jeanie as he wished her good-bye that he was coming back again. But he forgot the rose, and left it in a glass on his dressing-table.On the next morning, on the last day of the old year, the two brothers found themselves alone and face to face, each determined to say his say; Guy watching his big young brother with quiet intentness, and Godfrey heeding nothing but his own purpose. He spoke first—“Guy, I must make you understand once for all that I am not going to act under the will which Aunt Waynflete meant to destroy. I won’t profit by it, and it is important to me just now that every one should know that I regard it as a dead letter. I’ve thought the matter out—the thing must be done legally; I shall execute a deed of gift which will give Waynflete and the money left with it to you and your heirs for ever. And I will have nothing more to do with it. That is one thing.”“And what is the next?” said Guy.“As to the business, I quite see the difference made by the bad times, and poor returns. I suppose we want more capital. There’s young Mat Palmer. If you offered him a partnership, he might put money into the concern, and would do the work as well. As for me, of course any profits that come from my shares under the first will are fairly mine, as I must bear any loss also. And I don’t wish to cut myself out of the concern. But I want to know exactly how I stand, on that footing.”“Well,” said Guy, “anything else?”“Yes; I have practically engaged myself to marry Jeanie Palmer. I made a great mistake last summer in—in—what then passed. That’s over, but I must know, of course, exactly what I’m liable for here, before I can honourably speak to old Matthew.”“Anything more?” said Guy again.“No,” said Godfrey, with some dignity. “That’s what I had to say.”“And what,” said Guy, “do you suppose are the profits of the Waynflete estate which you’re going to give me?”“I suppose it has a value.”“Godfrey,” said Guy, suddenly, “I beg your pardon. I did not mean to take this tone at all. But I too have a great deal to say, and it’s hard. I—I’m not strong, you know, and you must be very patient with me while I tell you. And first, I want you to answer me one or two questions.”“Well?” said Godfrey, surprised in his turn.“What do you consider was the great object of Aunt Margaret’s life?”“To get back Waynflete—to restore the family.”“Is it the same thing?”“Well, yes, isn’t it? She thought so.”“She did. Now, what wasyourobject when you made that vow, which I suppose you are now trying to carry out?”“To get rid of Waynflete, to free my conscience, to do you justice,” said Godfrey.“You mean that you did not want me to suffer because your proceeding made me too late to persuade Aunt Margaret that she had misjudged me?”“Well, yes.”“Now listen. Please don’t speak till I’ve told you—even if I stop.”Then Guy briefly recapitulated his recent history, beginning with the midnight alarm which Godfrey remembered at Waynflete. He told the awful story in the driest and most matter-of-fact way, showing no trace of the effort which it cost him, while Godfrey listened in utter silence.“Now,” Guy continued. “Staunton will tell you particulars. I thought it right you should know how I’m handicapped. No wonder our ancestors drank or blew their brains out. Whether you think I have a tile loose or no, there’s no doubt our family went down through its own wickedness, and Aunt Margaret pulled it up again by pluck and resolution. But the business isn’t done, and instead of throwing over Waynflete to me, you ought to do your part of the work she left us.”Godfrey nodded; he was pale, and could not speak. He was perplexed, but he heard the story with instinctive belief.“She has set us on our legs,” Guy went on; “but the place is a sink of wickedness, and poverty-stricken into the bargain. I have had letters from Clifton, and I know. Now, I’ve come to see that it’s no good saving my own skin, or my own soul either, while that’s the case. We have got really to restore Waynflete, but I can’t do it alone. If I get too bad, in mind or body, to carry on the business, it would have to be sold, and thenHe— No, stop. I love the very breath of the air of it! Why, Godfrey, we should be contemptible scoundrels to give in while there’s breath in our bodies, or sense in our brains.”Godfrey still sat silent. If Guy was handicapped, how heavily had he handicapped himself! Still, devotion to his brave old aunt’s purpose, the inheritance which, after all, was bred in his bone, began to stir within him. He got up and held out his hand.“I’ll help,” he said hoarsely.Guy’s hand, all bones and blue veins, met the firm muscular fingers in an equally vigorous clasp.“That’s good!” he said. “We’ll do it.”“But, Guy,” said Godfrey, after a silence, “you know, if I’d known about it, I never would have left you alone with a ghost—never!”Guy laughed. “Never mind that now,” he said. “Go down to the mill, and get John Henry Cooper to tell you how things are. He’s made of just as sound stuff as his father, and is a good deal sharper. We’ll pull round. But you must get your hand in. Some one must be able to go about and investigate openings and offers, and I can’t at present. As for Jeanie, you’d better let that slide, I should say, for a bit. Old Mat won’t be very encouraging, when he knows how it is with us.”Godfrey went to the mill, and heard John Henry Cooper’s business statements almost in silence. Then he said—“I am here now to do what Mr Guy is not strong enough to manage. He will direct everything.”“Ay, sir, so best; you’ll not better Mr Guy’s notions of business requirements; but it’s nothing but your place to do your utmost for the business,” said Cooper, composedly.As Godfrey went back to his brother, it struck him how strange it was that the two narratives to which he had just listened should apply to the same person, that the sharp, keen struggle for success in life, and the awful mystical combat with an unknown power, should hang on the same indomitable will.“Guy,” he said, “it’s all right. Cooper’s going to show me about wool samples to-morrow, and—and—I wish you’d let me black your boots for you!”“If you like,” said Guy, with his odd little smile. “You shall do all the dirty work for me. There’s plenty of it in a mill.”
In the meantime Godfrey, stung to the very quick by Constancy’s shallow answer to the confession which he had forced from the depths of his soul, was kicking against the pricks of disappointed passion, and trying to persuade himself that they did not hurt him. He could not work, he barely scraped through his final examination; he could think of nothing but how to escape from himself. He could not face Guy till his plan of restitution was matured, and he caught at the Rabys’ invitation to go and spend a gay Christmas among a lively set of other young people at Kirkton Hall. He was very miserable, but, when people are young and strong, it is possible to be amused in spite of inward misery, and nobody guessed that Godfrey was either conscience-stricken or broken-hearted; and while he was thus keeping thought at bay, there befell him a great and unexpected temptation.
Jeanie, being now at Rilston with the Matthew Palmers, appeared on the scene in the altogether new light of a flattered and considered guest. She was talked of as a prize to be won, and in some occult and mysterious manner it was conveyed to Godfrey that this prize might be his for the asking.
Perhaps her Palmer kindred, who were people of much sense in a quiet way, knew what might be the lot of a simple and homely little girl whose great fortune bought a husband of good family and with bad debts. And Godfrey Waynflete, even if his fortune was not great, was no doubt a shrewd young fellow, or his shrewd old aunt would never have preferred him to his elder brother.
These ideas were conveyed by sober Palmer cousins to Godfrey’s mind, and they offered him the chance of a life of his own apart from Waynflete and Ingleby. Guy would have fewer scruples if Godfrey did not need the wrongfully gained inheritance. These purposes served as excuses, but it is an old story and never a very creditable one; Godfrey’s heart or, rather, his hand, was just ready to be “caught on the rebound.” Constancy’s contrast had a double charm. And Jeanie, who had always loved attention, now that she could attract it, like Miss Mercy Pecksniff, rose to the occasion. She had both sense and self-esteem, she was no longer the meek little cousin ready to make herself useful, and though she had an honest fancy for Godfrey, life had blossomed out with new possibilities. She knew very well that he had never sought her before, and she did not mean him to walk over the course. Pretended indifference was due to her ideas of propriety.
It was intoxicating to find herself made much of by a number of lively young people, all of the sort she knew, and liked, who flirted in her own style, and talked the kind of talk to which she could respond. Under such encouragement she was both pretty and lively, and the young folks at Kirkton and the neighbourhood had what Godfrey, and even Guy a year before, would have thought a very good time. One thing led to another, jokes to blushes, blushes to whispers, whispers to a half-acknowledged understanding, and almost before Godfrey knew what he was about he had practically committed himself, been laughed at and congratulated, and, by the time Christmas week was over, would have been irrevocably bound, had Jeanie ever allowed him to come quite to the point.
There had been one of those friendly dances among an intimate set of very young people, when much can pass as the jest of the moment, though the undercurrent of earnest gives the jest its charm.
Godfrey and Jeanie had waltzed and whirled through more dances than the young lady chose to count, and Godfrey’s last sight of her was as she skimmed along the polished floor of the gallery after Minnie Raby, refusing to stop and say good night. She peeped round the corner, and flung a rose right into his face, then vanished into her room and banged the door, while a sound like “To-morrow!” caught his ear. Every one was saying good night and running about. She had just refused him the rose in a cotillion, all was “jest and youthful jollity,” but Godfrey felt that “to-morrow” was big with fate. For about the tenth time that evening, he informed himself that he had completely forgotten Constancy.
Before he came downstairs the next day, two letters were brought to him. One was from the young vicar of Waynflete, stating that a thaw having taken place on the Sunday after Christmas, four umbrellas had been put up during service, and did Mr Waynflete see his way to a subscription for mending the church roof? The letter was several pages long, and gave a very unflattering picture of the condition of the Waynflete property. The vicar expressed himself with youthful energy, and begged the owner of the property to come and see for himself what had to be done.
And let Godfrey say what he would, he was that owner. The other letter was from Guy, and did not fill half a sheet.
“Dear Godfrey,—
“There is a great deal that must be faced and settled. Pray come home at once, for I must know what you mean to do, and the frost made me so good for nothing that I don’t see my way to getting on without help. I am better now, and Staunton is here with me.
“Your affectionate brother,—
“Guy Waynflete.”
This letter brought Godfrey face to face with his own intentions. If he really meant to present himself before Jeanie’s trustees he must know exactly what he had to say to them. There must be no false pretences. He would go back to Ingleby that very day. His decision, when he proclaimed it, roused a chorus of opposition.
“He must come back for the dance on Twelfth Night.”
“Oh yes! I mean to come back,” said Godfrey, steadily, with a glance at Jeanie. “But I must go home now. I’ve sent off a telegram to say so.”
He got off as soon as he could, and told Jeanie as he wished her good-bye that he was coming back again. But he forgot the rose, and left it in a glass on his dressing-table.
On the next morning, on the last day of the old year, the two brothers found themselves alone and face to face, each determined to say his say; Guy watching his big young brother with quiet intentness, and Godfrey heeding nothing but his own purpose. He spoke first—
“Guy, I must make you understand once for all that I am not going to act under the will which Aunt Waynflete meant to destroy. I won’t profit by it, and it is important to me just now that every one should know that I regard it as a dead letter. I’ve thought the matter out—the thing must be done legally; I shall execute a deed of gift which will give Waynflete and the money left with it to you and your heirs for ever. And I will have nothing more to do with it. That is one thing.”
“And what is the next?” said Guy.
“As to the business, I quite see the difference made by the bad times, and poor returns. I suppose we want more capital. There’s young Mat Palmer. If you offered him a partnership, he might put money into the concern, and would do the work as well. As for me, of course any profits that come from my shares under the first will are fairly mine, as I must bear any loss also. And I don’t wish to cut myself out of the concern. But I want to know exactly how I stand, on that footing.”
“Well,” said Guy, “anything else?”
“Yes; I have practically engaged myself to marry Jeanie Palmer. I made a great mistake last summer in—in—what then passed. That’s over, but I must know, of course, exactly what I’m liable for here, before I can honourably speak to old Matthew.”
“Anything more?” said Guy again.
“No,” said Godfrey, with some dignity. “That’s what I had to say.”
“And what,” said Guy, “do you suppose are the profits of the Waynflete estate which you’re going to give me?”
“I suppose it has a value.”
“Godfrey,” said Guy, suddenly, “I beg your pardon. I did not mean to take this tone at all. But I too have a great deal to say, and it’s hard. I—I’m not strong, you know, and you must be very patient with me while I tell you. And first, I want you to answer me one or two questions.”
“Well?” said Godfrey, surprised in his turn.
“What do you consider was the great object of Aunt Margaret’s life?”
“To get back Waynflete—to restore the family.”
“Is it the same thing?”
“Well, yes, isn’t it? She thought so.”
“She did. Now, what wasyourobject when you made that vow, which I suppose you are now trying to carry out?”
“To get rid of Waynflete, to free my conscience, to do you justice,” said Godfrey.
“You mean that you did not want me to suffer because your proceeding made me too late to persuade Aunt Margaret that she had misjudged me?”
“Well, yes.”
“Now listen. Please don’t speak till I’ve told you—even if I stop.”
Then Guy briefly recapitulated his recent history, beginning with the midnight alarm which Godfrey remembered at Waynflete. He told the awful story in the driest and most matter-of-fact way, showing no trace of the effort which it cost him, while Godfrey listened in utter silence.
“Now,” Guy continued. “Staunton will tell you particulars. I thought it right you should know how I’m handicapped. No wonder our ancestors drank or blew their brains out. Whether you think I have a tile loose or no, there’s no doubt our family went down through its own wickedness, and Aunt Margaret pulled it up again by pluck and resolution. But the business isn’t done, and instead of throwing over Waynflete to me, you ought to do your part of the work she left us.”
Godfrey nodded; he was pale, and could not speak. He was perplexed, but he heard the story with instinctive belief.
“She has set us on our legs,” Guy went on; “but the place is a sink of wickedness, and poverty-stricken into the bargain. I have had letters from Clifton, and I know. Now, I’ve come to see that it’s no good saving my own skin, or my own soul either, while that’s the case. We have got really to restore Waynflete, but I can’t do it alone. If I get too bad, in mind or body, to carry on the business, it would have to be sold, and thenHe— No, stop. I love the very breath of the air of it! Why, Godfrey, we should be contemptible scoundrels to give in while there’s breath in our bodies, or sense in our brains.”
Godfrey still sat silent. If Guy was handicapped, how heavily had he handicapped himself! Still, devotion to his brave old aunt’s purpose, the inheritance which, after all, was bred in his bone, began to stir within him. He got up and held out his hand.
“I’ll help,” he said hoarsely.
Guy’s hand, all bones and blue veins, met the firm muscular fingers in an equally vigorous clasp.
“That’s good!” he said. “We’ll do it.”
“But, Guy,” said Godfrey, after a silence, “you know, if I’d known about it, I never would have left you alone with a ghost—never!”
Guy laughed. “Never mind that now,” he said. “Go down to the mill, and get John Henry Cooper to tell you how things are. He’s made of just as sound stuff as his father, and is a good deal sharper. We’ll pull round. But you must get your hand in. Some one must be able to go about and investigate openings and offers, and I can’t at present. As for Jeanie, you’d better let that slide, I should say, for a bit. Old Mat won’t be very encouraging, when he knows how it is with us.”
Godfrey went to the mill, and heard John Henry Cooper’s business statements almost in silence. Then he said—
“I am here now to do what Mr Guy is not strong enough to manage. He will direct everything.”
“Ay, sir, so best; you’ll not better Mr Guy’s notions of business requirements; but it’s nothing but your place to do your utmost for the business,” said Cooper, composedly.
As Godfrey went back to his brother, it struck him how strange it was that the two narratives to which he had just listened should apply to the same person, that the sharp, keen struggle for success in life, and the awful mystical combat with an unknown power, should hang on the same indomitable will.
“Guy,” he said, “it’s all right. Cooper’s going to show me about wool samples to-morrow, and—and—I wish you’d let me black your boots for you!”
“If you like,” said Guy, with his odd little smile. “You shall do all the dirty work for me. There’s plenty of it in a mill.”