[Jeanleaves withRex.Helenwatches them, sighs, and goes in. TheServantsarrange the tea-table and go into the house.Lucycomes out, followed by her husband,John, and theJudge, who isUncle Everett, andCousin Theodore.John, the masterful type of successful American business man; well set up, close-cropped mustache, inclined to baldness; keen eye, vibrant voice, quick movements, quick decisions, quick temper.Uncle Everettis a genial satirist with acynical tolerance of the ways of the world, which he understands, laughs at, and rather likes.Cousin Theodore, a care-worn rector, who, though he buttons his collar behind, likes those who don't; a noble soul, self-sacrificing and sanctified, but he does not obtrude his profession upon others—never talks shop unless asked to do so, and prides himself upon not being a bigot.They are continuing an earnest discussion, with the intimate manner of friendly members of the same family.John,Lucy, andTheodoredeeply concerned;Uncle Everettdetached and amused.
[Jeanleaves withRex.Helenwatches them, sighs, and goes in. TheServantsarrange the tea-table and go into the house.
Lucycomes out, followed by her husband,John, and theJudge, who isUncle Everett, andCousin Theodore.
John, the masterful type of successful American business man; well set up, close-cropped mustache, inclined to baldness; keen eye, vibrant voice, quick movements, quick decisions, quick temper.
Uncle Everettis a genial satirist with acynical tolerance of the ways of the world, which he understands, laughs at, and rather likes.
Cousin Theodore, a care-worn rector, who, though he buttons his collar behind, likes those who don't; a noble soul, self-sacrificing and sanctified, but he does not obtrude his profession upon others—never talks shop unless asked to do so, and prides himself upon not being a bigot.
They are continuing an earnest discussion, with the intimate manner of friendly members of the same family.John,Lucy, andTheodoredeeply concerned;Uncle Everettdetached and amused.
Theodore
But, Uncle Everett, hasn't Aunt Julia always been a good wife to you?
Judge
Quite so, quite so, a good wife, Theodore, a good wife.
Lucy
And adevotedmother to your children, Uncle Everett?
Judge
Devoted, Lucy, devoted.
John
She has always obeyed you, Uncle Everett.
Judge
Yes, John—a true, old-fashioned woman.
Theodore
She has been a great help to me in the parish work, Uncle Everett.
Judge
An earnest worker in the vineyard, Theodore—in fact, I might say, a model female.
All
Then why,whydo you want a divorce?
Judge
Because, damn it, I don't like her!
Lucy
But think of poor Aunt Julia!
Judge
But, damn it, she doesn't likeme.
Theodore
[wagging head sadly]
Ah, yes, I suppose there has been fault on both sides.
Judge
Not at all! No fault on either side.... Both patterns of Christian fortitude to the end! We still are. Just listen to this telegram.
Lucy
[puzzled]
From Aunt Julia?
Judge
Yes from Aunt Julia in Reno. Not used to travelling without me; knew I'd worry. Thoughtful of her, wasn't it? [Puts on glasses.] A night letter. Much cheaper; your Aunt Julia was always a frugal wife. Besides, she never could keep within ten words. [Reads.] "Arrived safely. Charming rooms with plenty of air and sunlight. Our case docketed for March 15th. Wish you were here to see the women inDivorcee Row—overdressed and underbred." Rather neat, eh? "Overdressed and underbred." "I should love to hearyourcomments on the various types." Now, isn't that sweet of her? Well, you know, I alwayscouldmake her laugh—except when I made her cry. "Write soon. With love. Julia." Now [folds telegram], isn't that a nice message? From a wife suing for divorce? You happily married people couldn't beat that.
[Pats telegram and pockets it tenderly.
From a photograph by White Studio.All:Then why,whydo you want a divorce?Judge:Because, damn it, I don't like her.
From a photograph by White Studio.
All:Then why,whydo you want a divorce?Judge:Because, damn it, I don't like her.
John
[like a practical business man]
But if there's no other woman, no other man—what's it all about?
Judge
She likes her beefsteak well done; I like mine underdone. She likes one window open—about so much [indicates four inches]; I like all the windows open wide! She likes to stay at home; I like to travel. She loves the opera and hates the theatre; I love the theatre and hate the opera.
Theodore
Stop! aren't you willing to make a few little sacrifices for each other? Haven't you character enough for that?
Judge
We've been making sacrifices for twenty-five years, a quarter of a century! Character enough to last us now.... Why, I remember the first dinner we had together after we were pronounced man and wife, with a full choral service and a great many expensive flowers—quite a smart wedding, Lucy, for those simple days. "Darling," I asked my blushing bride, "do you like tutti-frutti ice-cream?" "I adore it, dearest," she murmured. I hated it, but nobly sacrificed myself and gave her tutti-frutti and gained character every evening of our honeymoon! Then when we got back and began our "new life" together in our "little home," my darling gavemetutti-frutti and indigestiononce a weekuntil I nearly died!
Lucy
But why didn't you tell her?
Judge
I did; I did. Got chronic dyspepsia and struck! "Youmay adore this stuff,darling," I said, "but I hate it." "So do I, dearest," says she. "Then why in thunder have you had it allthese years,sweetheart?" "For your sake,beloved!" And that tells the whole story of our married life. We have nothing in common but a love of divorce and a mutual abhorrence of tutti-frutti. "Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one!" It has been the dream of our lives to get apart, and each has nobly refrained for the other's sake. And all in vain!
John
Bah! All a cloak to hide his real motive. And he knows it!
Judge
[after a painful pause]
I may as well confess. [Looks around to see if overheard. Whispers.] For over twenty years I—I have broken my marriage vow! [Lucydrops her eyes.Theodoreaghast.Johnwags head.] So has your Aunt Julia!
Theodore
No! not that!
Judge
Well, we solemnly promised to love each other until death did us part. We have brokenthat sacred vow! I don't loveher; she doesn't loveme—not in the least!
John
Rot! A matured, middle-aged man, a distinguished member of the bar—break up his home for that? Damned rot!
Judge
Right again, John. That's not why I'm breaking up my home. I prefer my club. What does the modern home amount to? Merely a place to leave your wife.
Lucy
Of course, it doesn't matter about the poor little wife left at home.
Judge
Wrong, Lucy, it does matter. That's why Istayedat home and was bored to death with her prattle about clothes and the opera, instead of dining at the club with my intellectual equals, picking up business there, getting rich like John, supplying her withmoreclothes and a wholeboxat the opera, like yours, Lucy.
Lucy
[shoots a glance at her husband]
Oh, that's the way you menalwaystalk. It never occurs to you that business, business,businessisjustas much of a bore to us!
Judge
Wrong again! It did occur tome—hence the divorce! She couldn't stand seeingmebored; I couldn't stand seeingherbored. Once we could deceive each other; but now—too well acquainted; our happy home—a hollow mockery!
Theodore
You ought to be ashamed! I love my home!
John
So do I.
[He glances sternly atLucy.
Lucy
[nervously]
So do I.
Judge
All right. Stick to it, if you love it. Only, don't claim credit for doing what you enjoy.I stuck to my home for a quarter of a century and disliked it the whole time. At last I'm free to say so. Just think of it, Lucy, free to utter those things about marriage we all know are true but don't dare say! Free to be honest, John! No longer a hypocrite, no longer a liar! A soul set free, Theodore—two souls, in fact. "Two souls with but a single thought——"
Theodore
Stop! You havechildrento consider, not merely your own selfish happiness!
Lucy
Yes, think of Tom and little Julia!
Judge
We did ... for a quarter of a century—sacrificed everything to them, even our self-respect; but now—what's the use? We are childless now. Tom and Julia have both left us for "little homes" of their own to love.
Theodore
Ah, but don't you want them to have the old home to come back to?
Judge
"No place like home" for children, eh? You're right—can't have too much of it. Most children only haveonehome. Ours will havetwo! When they get bored with one they can try the other.
Theodore
But, seriously, Uncle Everett—"Whom God hath joined together!"
Lucy
[claspingJohn'sarm]
Yes, Uncle Everett, marriages are made in heaven.
Judge
I see; quite so; but your Aunt Julia and I were joined together by a pink parasol made in Paris.
John
What rot! Stop your fooling and speak the truth, man.
Judge
Just what I'm doing—that's why you think I'm fooling. A very pretty parasol—but it wasn't made in heaven. You see, God made poor,dear Julia pale, but on that fatal day, twenty-five years ago, the pink parasol, not God, made her rosy and irresistible. I did the rest—with the aid of a clergyman, whom I tipped even more liberally than the waiter who served us tutti-frutti. Blamemefor it, blame her, the parasol, the parson, but do not, my dear Theodore, blame the Deity for our own mistakes. It's so blasphemous.
[A pause.Lucytakes place at the tea-table to serve tea.
Lucy
And to think we invitedyou, of all people, here to-day of all days! [ToJohn.] We mustn't let Rex know. The Bakers don't believe in divorce.
John
What's this? You don't mean that Jean——?
Lucy
Yes! Just in time—before he knew Helen was back.
John
[jumps up]
She's landed him! She's landed him! We're marrying into the Baker family! The Bakerfamily! [Shaking hands right and left.] Why, she'll have more money than any of us!... Well, well! We'll all have to stand around before little Jean now!... My, my! Lucy, you're a wonder! Those pearls—I'll buy them; they're yours! Hurray for Lucy!
[KissesLucy.
Lucy
[feeling her importance]
Now, if I could only getHelenout of this awful mess and safely married to some nice man!
Judge
[sipping his tea]
Meaning one having money?
Theodore
The Hamiltons are an older family than the Bakers, Lucy, older than our own.
Judge
Meaning theyoncehad money.
John
[still pacing to and fro]
Waste a beauty on a bacteriologist? A crime!
Theodore
See here, John, Ernest Hamilton is the biggest thing you've got in the Baker Institute! One of the loveliest fellows in the world, too, and if you expect me—why did you ask us here, anyway?
Judge
Far as I can make out, we're here to help one of John's sisters marry a man she doesn't love and prevent the other from marrying the man she does.
John
Oh, look here: I've nothing against young Hamilton.... Ilikehim—proud of all he's done for the institute. Why, Mr. Baker is tickled to death about the Hamilton antitoxin. But, Theodore, this is a practical world. Your scientific friend gets just two thousand dollars a year!... Lucy, send for Helen.
[Lucygoes obediently.
Judge
Well, why not give the young man a raise?
John
Oh, that's not a bad salary for scientists, college professors, and that sort of thing. Why,even the head of the institute himself gets less than the superintendent of my mills. No future in science.
Judge
Perfectly practical, Theodore. The superintendent of John's mills saves the company thousands of dollars. These bacteriologists merely save the nation thousands of babies. All our laws, written and unwritten, value private property above human life. I'm a distinguished jurist and I always render my decisions accordingly. I'd be reversed by the United States Supreme Court if I didn't. We're all rewarded in inverse ratio to our usefulness to society, Theodore. That's why "practical men" think changes are "dangerous."
John
Muck-raker!
Judge
It's all on a sliding scale, John. For keeping up the cost of living you and old man Baker get ... [Stretches arms out full length.] Heaven only knows how much. For saving the Constitution I get ... a good deal. [Hands threefeet apart.] For saving in wages and operating expenses your superintendent gets so much. [Hands two feet apart.] For saving human life Ernest Hamilton gets that. [Hands six inches apart.] For saving immortal souls Theodore gets—[Holds up two forefingers an inch apart.] Now, if any one came along and saved the world——
Theodore
[interrupts]
They crucified Him.
John
Muck-raker, muck-raker.
Lucy
[returning]
Tried my best, John, but Helen says she prefers to talk with you alone some time.
John
[furious]
She "prefers"? See here! Am I master in my own house or not?
Judge
But Helen is a guest in it now. No longerunder your control, John. She's the New Woman.
Theodore
John,youcan't stop that girl's marrying Ernest, if she wants to; he's head over heels in love with her.
Lucy
What! We thought he was in love with his work!
Theodore
He thinks there's no hope for him, poor boy.
Lucy
[toJohn]
And she is mad about him!
John
[toLucy]
And he is on the way out here now!
Theodore
What! He's coming to see her?
John
No, no, thinks she's still in Paris—so she was when I invited him, damn it—but something had to be done and done delicately. That's why I invited you two.
Judge
[bursts out laughing]
Beautiful! These lovers haven't met for a month, and to-night there's a moon!
Theodore
[also laughs]
You may as well give in, John. It's the simplest solution.
Lucy
[timidly]
Yes, John, she's nearly thirty, and think how she treats all thenicemen.
John
Who's doing this? You go tell Helen ... that her Uncle Everett wants to see her!
[Lucy shrugs, starts reluctantly, and lingers listening.
Theodore
Now, uncle, you have more influence over her than any of us—don't let her know about ... Aunt Julia. Helen thinks the world of you.
Judge
Of course not, never let the rising generation suspect the truth about marriage—if you want 'em to marry.
Theodore
There are other truths than unpleasant truths, Uncle Everett, other marriages than unhappy marriages.
Judge
Want me to tell her the truth about your marriage?
Lucy
[at the door]
Why uncle! Evenyoumust admit that Theodore and Mary are happy.
[Johnis too much surprised to noticeLucy'spresence.
Judge
Happy? What's that got to do with it? Marriage is a social institution. Theodore said so.... Every time a boy kisses a girl she should first inquire: "A sacrifice for society?" And if he says, "I want to gain character, sweetheart," then—"Darling, do your duty!" and he'll do it.
Lucy
Well, Theodore has certainly donehisduty by society—six children!
Judge
Then society hasn't done its duty by Theodore—only one salary!
John
The more credit to him! He and Mary have sacrificed everything to their children and the Church—even health!
Theodore
We don't need your pity! We don't want your praise! Poverty, suffering, even separation, have only drawn us closer together. We love each other through it all! Why, in the last letter the doctor let her write she said, she said—[Suddenly overcome with emotion, turns abruptly.] If you'll excuse me, Lucy ... Sanitarium ... the telephone.
[Theodoregoes into the house.
Judge
Not praise or pity but something more substantial and, by George, I'll get it for them!
[Turns toJohn, who interrupts.
John
See the examplehesets to society—I honor him for it.
Judge
Fine! but that doesn't seem to restore Mary's radiant health, Theodore's brilliant youth.
Lucy
Ah, but they have theirchildren—think how they adore those beautiful children!
Judge
No, don't think how they adore them, think how theyrearthose beautiful children—in the streets; one little daughter dead from contagion; one son going to the devil from other things picked up in the street! If marriage is a social institution, look at it socially. Why, a marriage like mine is worth a dozen like theirs—to Society. Look at my well-launched children; look at my useful career, as a jackal toBig Business; look at my now perfectly contented spouse!
Lucy
But if you are divorced!
Judge
Is the object of marriage merely to stay married?
Lucy
But character, think of the character they have gained.
Judge
Oh, is it to gain character at the expense of helpless offspring? Society doesn't gain by that—it loses, Lucy, it loses.... But simply because, God bless 'em, "they love each other through it all," you sentimental standpatters believe in lying about it, do you?
John
[bored, whips out pocket check-book and fountain pen]
Oh, talk, talk, talk! Money talks forme.... But they're both so confoundedly proud!
Judge
Go on, write that check! [Johnwrites.] They must sacrifice their pride, John. Nothing else left to sacrifice, I'm afraid.
John
Well, you get this to them somehow.
[Hands check toJudge.
Judge
Aha! Talk did it.... Five thousand? Generous John!
John
[impatiently]
Never mind about me.Thatproblem is all settled; now about Helen.... Lucy! I thought I told you——
[Lucy, in a guilty hurry, escapes into the house.
Judge
John, charity never settles problems; it perpetuates them. You can't cure social defects by individual treatment.
John
[more impatiently]
Does talk settle anything?
Judge
Everything. We may even settle the marriage problem if we talkhonestly. [Theodorereturns from telephoning to the sanitarium.] Theodore, it's all right! John honestly believes in setting an example to society! Crazy to have his sisters go and do likewise!
Theodore
Splendid, John! I knew you'd see it—an ideal match.
Judge
[overridingJohn]
Right, Theodore, ideal. This scientific suitor will shower everything upon her John honors and admires: A host of servants—I mean sacrifices; carriages and motors—I mean character and morals; just what her brother advocates in Sunday-school—for others. An ideal marriage.
John
[hands in pockets]
You think you're awfully funny, don't you? Humph! I do more for the Church, for education, art, science than all the rest of the familycombined. Incidentally, I'm not divorced.... But this is a practical world, Theodore, I've got to protect my own.
Lucy
[returning]
Helen will be here in a minute.
John
[suddenly getting an idea]
Ah! I have it! I know how to keep them apart!
Theodore
Be careful, John—these two love each other.
Judge
Yes, young people still fall in love. Whether we make it hard or easy for them—theywilldo it. But, mark my words, unless wereform marriage, there is going to be a sympatheticstrikeagainst it—as there is already against having children. Instead of making it harder to get apart, we've got to make it easier to stay together. Otherwise the ancient bluff will soon be called!
Lucy
Sssh! Here she comes.
Theodore
Pleasedon't talk this way before her.
Judge
All right, I'm not divorced yet,... still in the conspiracy of silence.
[Helenappears at the door. A sudden silence.
Helen
[kissingTheodoreandJudgeaffectionately]
I'msosorry to hear about dear Mary. [ToJudge.] But why didn't Aunt Julia come? Is she ill, too?
[Slight panic in the family party.
Judge
She's gone to Re-Re-Rio Janeiro—I mean to Santa Barbara—wants a complete change—The Rest Cure. [ToTheodoreapart.] Lie number one.
[Another silence.Lucymakes tea forHelen.
Helen
[taking the cup]
Well, go on!
Theodore
Go on with what?
Helen
[stirring tea]
Your discussion of marriage.
Lucy
How did you know?
Helen
Oh, it's in the air. Everybody's talking about it nowadays.
[She sips tea, and the others look conscious.
Theodore
My dear, marriage is woman's only true career.
Helen
[raising her shield of flippancy]
So Lucy tells me, Cousin Theodore. But a woman cannot pursue her career, she must be pursued by it; otherwise she is unwomanly.
Judge
Ahem. As we passed through the library a while ago, I think I saw your little sister being pursued by her career.
Helen
Yes, uncle, but Jean is a true woman. I'm only a New Woman.
Judge
All the same, you'll be an old woman some day—if you don't watch out.
Helen
Ah, yes, my life's a failure. I haven't trapped a man into a contract to support me.
Lucy
[picks up knitting bag and does her best to look like "just an old-fashioned wife"]
You ought to be ashamed! Making marriage so mercenary. Helen, dear, haven't you New Women any sentiment?
Helen
Enough sentiment not to make a mercenary marriage, Lucy, dear.
Judge
Ahem! And what kind of a marriage do you expect to make?
Helen
Not any, thank you, uncle.
Judge
What! You don't believe in holy matrimony?
Helen
Only as a last extremity, uncle, like unholy divorce.
Judge
[jumps]
What doyouknow about that?
Helen
I know all about it! [Others jump.] I have been reading up on the subject.
[All relax, relieved, but now gather about the young woman.
}[Together]
Theodore
Come now, simply because many young people rush into marriage without thinking—
Lucy
Simply because these New Women—
John
Simply because one marriage in a thousand ends in divorce—
Helen
Wait!... One in a thousand? Dear me, what an idealist you are, John! In America, one marriage in every eleven now ends in divorce. And yet you wonder why I hesitate.
John
One in eleven—rot! [ToJudge.] All this muck-raking should be suppressed by the Government. "One in eleven!" Bah!
Helen
[demurely]
The Government's own statistics, John.
[They all turn to theJudgefor denial, but he nods confirmation, with a complacent smile, murmuring: "Two souls with but a single thought."
[They all turn to theJudgefor denial, but he nods confirmation, with a complacent smile, murmuring: "Two souls with but a single thought."
Lucy
[sweetly knitting]
Well, I may be old-fashioned, but it seems tomethat nice girls shouldn'tthinkof such things.... Their husbands will tell them all they ought to know about marriage—after they're married.
Helen
Ah, I see. Nice girls mustn't think until after they rush in, but they mustn't rush in until after they think. You married people make it all so simple for us.
Judge
Right! The way to cure all evil is for nice people to close their minds and mouths to it. It's "unpleasant" for a pure mind, and it "leaves a bad taste in the mouth." So there you are, my dear.
John
[coming in strong]
Oh, talk, talk, talk! I've had enough. See here, young lady, I offered to pay all your expenses abroad for a year. You didn't seem to appreciate it—well, the trustees of the institute are now to give Doctor Hamilton a year abroad. How do you like that?
[All turn and look atHelen.
Helen
Splendid! Just what he needs! Doctor Metchnikoff told me in Paris that America alwayskills its big men with routine. When do we start?
[She tries to look very businesslike.
John
[springing to his feet]
"We!" Do you thinkyouare going?
Helen
Of course! I'm his assistant—quite indispensable to him.... [To all.] Oh, well, if you don't believe me, ask him!
John
[pacing to and fro]
What next! Paris! Alone, with a man!—Here's where I call a halt!
Helen
But if my work calls me, I don't really see what you have to say about it, John.
John
Better not defy me, Helen.
[He scowls.
Helen
Better not bully me, John.
[She smiles.
John
I am your brother.
Helen
But not my owner! [Then, instead of defiance, she turns with animated interest to the others.] You know, all women used to be owned by men. Formerly they ruled us by physical force—now by financial force.... But at last they are to lose eventhathold upon us—poor dears!
[PatsJohn'sshoulder playfully.
John
[amused, but serious]
That's all right in theory, but this is a practical world. My pull got you into the institute; my pull can get you out. You give up this wild idea or give up your job!
Helen
[delighted]
What did I tell you? Financial force! They still try it, you see. [ToJohn.] What if I refused to give up either, John?
John
[emphatic]
Then as a trustee of the institute I ask for your resignation—right here and now! [Turns away.] I guessthatwill hold her at home a while.
Helen
I simplymustgo to Paris now. I've nothing else to do!
John
[with a confident smile]
You will, eh? Who'll pay your expenses this time?
Helen
[matter of fact]
Doctor Hamilton.
Lucy
Helen! please! You oughtn't to say such things even in joke.
Helen
He'll take me along as his private secretary, if I ask him.
[A pause. The others look at one another helplessly.
Judge
John, she's got you. You might as well quit.
John
Nonsense. I have just begun. You'll see.
Theodore
If you're so independent, my dear, why don't you marry your scientist and be done with it?
Helen
[resents the intrusion but hides her feelings]
Can you keep a secret? [They all seem to think they can and gather near.] He has never asked me!
[The family seems annoyed.
Lucy
[with match-making ardor]
No wonder, dear, he has never seen you except in that awful apron. But those stunning dinner gowns John bought you in Paris! My dear, in evening dress you are quite irresistible!
Judge
[apart toTheodore]
Irresistible? Pink parasols. What a system!
Helen
But you see, I don'twanthim to ask me. I've had all I could do to keep him from it.
[The family seems perplexed.
John
She's gotsomesense left.
Lucy
But suppose he did ask you, dear?
Helen
Why, I'd simply refer the matter to John, of course. If John said, "Love him," I'd love him; if John said, "Don't love him," I'd turn it off like electric light.
[The family is becoming exasperated.
Lucy
[insinuating]
Oh, you can't deceive us. We know how much you admire him, Helen.
Helen
Oh, no you don't! [The family is amazed.] Not even he does. Did you ever hear how herisked his life in battle down in Cuba? Why, he's a perfect hero of romance!
John
[mutters]
Never even saw a war—mollycoddle germ killer!
Helen
Not in the war with Spain—the war against yellow fever, John.... No drums to make him brave, no correspondents to make him famous—he merely rolled up his sleeve and let an innocent-looking mosquito bite him. Then took notes on his symptoms till he became delirious.... He happened to be among those who recovered.
[The family is impressed.
Theodore
Old-fashioned maidens used to marry their heroes, Helen.
Helen
[arising, briskly]
But this new-fashioned hero gets only two thousand dollars a year, Theodore.
[She turns to escape.
John
[nodding]
I told you she had sense.
Theodore
Helen! You selfish, too? Why, Mary and I married on half that, didn't we, John?
[He looks around. The family looks away.
Helen
[with unintended emphasis]
Doctor Hamilton needs every cent of that enormous salary—books, travel, scientific conferences—all the advantages he simply must have if he's to keep at the top and do his best work for the world. The most selfish thing a girl can do is to marry a poor man.
[With that she hurries up the steps.
Theodore
[following her]
All the same, deep down under it all, she has a true woman's yearning for a home to care for and a mate to love. [She is silently crying.] Why, Helen, dear, what's the matter?
Helen
[hiding her emotion]
Oh, why can't they let mealone! They make what ought to be the holiest and most beautiful thing in life the most horrible and dishonest. They make me hate marriage—hate it!
[Unseen byHelen, theButlersteps out.
Theodore
[patting her shoulder]
Just you wait till the right one comes along.
Butler
[toLucy]
Doctor Hamilton has come, ma'am.
Helen
[with an old-fashioned gasp]
Good heavens!
[And runs to the family.
Lucy
Show Doctor Hamilton out.
[TheButlergoes.
Helen
A plot to entrap him! [Running to and frowildly.] But it's no use! I'm going ... until he's gone!
[Helenruns into the garden.
Judge
Fighting hard, poor child.
Theodore
But what'll we do?
Judge
Don't worry—she can't stay away—the sweet thing!
John
Now listen, we must all jolly him up—he'll be shy in these surroundings.
Judge
Going to surrender, John?
John
What I am going to do requires finesse.
Lucy
[in a flutter, seeingHamiltonapproach]
Oh, dear! how does one talk to highbrows?
Judge
Talk to him about himself! Highbrows, lowbrows, all men love it.