June Twenty-ninth

June Twenty-ninthOne of the chief inducements to marry a widow is the conversation that ought to result from her enlarged experience of life.—Edward Stanton Martin.June Thirtieth“I celebrate June Thirtieth as Independence Day.”“Isn’t that a trifle early?”“It’s the day on which I secured my first divorce.”—Judge.

One of the chief inducements to marry a widow is the conversation that ought to result from her enlarged experience of life.

—Edward Stanton Martin.

“I celebrate June Thirtieth as Independence Day.”

“Isn’t that a trifle early?”

“It’s the day on which I secured my first divorce.”

—Judge.

July First“You say his wife’s a brunette? I thought he married a blonde.”“He did, but she dyed.”—Wrinkle.July SecondA law by which a widow should not burn herself till she had conversed privately with a young man. Since that time not a single woman hath burned herself in Arabia.—Voltaire.July ThirdTo the diplomatic widow, man is simply an open book. She plays upon his weaknesses as upon a harp with a thousand strings.—Dorothy Dix.July FourthWidows are dangerous animals to be at large.—J. W. Stowe.

“You say his wife’s a brunette? I thought he married a blonde.”

“He did, but she dyed.”

—Wrinkle.

A law by which a widow should not burn herself till she had conversed privately with a young man. Since that time not a single woman hath burned herself in Arabia.

—Voltaire.

To the diplomatic widow, man is simply an open book. She plays upon his weaknesses as upon a harp with a thousand strings.

—Dorothy Dix.

Widows are dangerous animals to be at large.

—J. W. Stowe.

July FifthWanted—A nice young girl of affectionate disposition willing to make a good-looking bachelor happy. Previous experience not necessary.—Wasp.July SixthIn buying a horse and taking a wife,Shut your eyes and trust God for your life.—Italian Proverb.July SeventhA Bunch of Cash, with figures not too Few,A Mine of Gold, a Government Bond or Two,And Youth and Beauty and Cupid ever near her,A Widow’s lot is not so Worse, think You?—Widow.July EighthDrying a widow’s tears is an expensive luxury.—Dorothy Dix.

Wanted—A nice young girl of affectionate disposition willing to make a good-looking bachelor happy. Previous experience not necessary.

—Wasp.

In buying a horse and taking a wife,Shut your eyes and trust God for your life.—Italian Proverb.

In buying a horse and taking a wife,Shut your eyes and trust God for your life.

In buying a horse and taking a wife,

Shut your eyes and trust God for your life.

—Italian Proverb.

A Bunch of Cash, with figures not too Few,A Mine of Gold, a Government Bond or Two,And Youth and Beauty and Cupid ever near her,A Widow’s lot is not so Worse, think You?—Widow.

A Bunch of Cash, with figures not too Few,A Mine of Gold, a Government Bond or Two,And Youth and Beauty and Cupid ever near her,A Widow’s lot is not so Worse, think You?

A Bunch of Cash, with figures not too Few,

A Mine of Gold, a Government Bond or Two,

And Youth and Beauty and Cupid ever near her,

A Widow’s lot is not so Worse, think You?

—Widow.

Drying a widow’s tears is an expensive luxury.

—Dorothy Dix.

July NinthWake! for the Son that scatters into flightThe Sighs and Tears that make you such a fright,Drives them along, away, forever, andKnocks Your Widow’s mourning Higher than a Kite!—Widow.July TenthLove makes time pass and time makes love pass.—Proverb.July EleventhDivorce is necessary in advanced civilization.—Montesquieu.July TwelfthWoman, by nature, is a thing of change.—Petrarch.

Wake! for the Son that scatters into flightThe Sighs and Tears that make you such a fright,Drives them along, away, forever, andKnocks Your Widow’s mourning Higher than a Kite!—Widow.

Wake! for the Son that scatters into flightThe Sighs and Tears that make you such a fright,Drives them along, away, forever, andKnocks Your Widow’s mourning Higher than a Kite!

Wake! for the Son that scatters into flight

The Sighs and Tears that make you such a fright,

Drives them along, away, forever, and

Knocks Your Widow’s mourning Higher than a Kite!

—Widow.

Love makes time pass and time makes love pass.

—Proverb.

Divorce is necessary in advanced civilization.

—Montesquieu.

Woman, by nature, is a thing of change.

—Petrarch.

July ThirteenthThey can show no mercy to the widow.—Barnich.July FourteenthGod has to me sufficiently been kind,To take my husband, and leave me here behind.—Anonymous.July FifteenthWhoso has married once and seeks a second wedding, is a shipwrecked man who sails twice through a difficult gulf.—Greek Epigramme.July SixteenthA mistress I’ve lost, it is true;But one comfort attends the disaster:That had she my mistress remained,I could not have called myself master.—Epigrammes Old and New.

They can show no mercy to the widow.

—Barnich.

God has to me sufficiently been kind,To take my husband, and leave me here behind.—Anonymous.

God has to me sufficiently been kind,To take my husband, and leave me here behind.

God has to me sufficiently been kind,

To take my husband, and leave me here behind.

—Anonymous.

Whoso has married once and seeks a second wedding, is a shipwrecked man who sails twice through a difficult gulf.

—Greek Epigramme.

A mistress I’ve lost, it is true;But one comfort attends the disaster:That had she my mistress remained,I could not have called myself master.—Epigrammes Old and New.

A mistress I’ve lost, it is true;But one comfort attends the disaster:That had she my mistress remained,I could not have called myself master.

A mistress I’ve lost, it is true;

But one comfort attends the disaster:

That had she my mistress remained,

I could not have called myself master.

—Epigrammes Old and New.

July SeventeenthHe that marries a widow and three children marries four thieves.—Spanish Proverb.July EighteenthSaid Jan, twice wedded to a scolding wife,“Church-going’s the greatest pleasure of my life;’Tis strange and sweet to see a man, oh, rare!Keep full five hundred women quiet there.”—Dutch Epigramme.July NineteenthThe greatest merit of some men is their wife.—Poincelot.July TwentiethThere was a time when the ideal condition coveted by women who craved unlimited freedom, was that of a widow with one child.—Edward Stanton Martin.

He that marries a widow and three children marries four thieves.

—Spanish Proverb.

Said Jan, twice wedded to a scolding wife,“Church-going’s the greatest pleasure of my life;’Tis strange and sweet to see a man, oh, rare!Keep full five hundred women quiet there.”—Dutch Epigramme.

Said Jan, twice wedded to a scolding wife,“Church-going’s the greatest pleasure of my life;’Tis strange and sweet to see a man, oh, rare!Keep full five hundred women quiet there.”

Said Jan, twice wedded to a scolding wife,

“Church-going’s the greatest pleasure of my life;

’Tis strange and sweet to see a man, oh, rare!

Keep full five hundred women quiet there.”

—Dutch Epigramme.

The greatest merit of some men is their wife.

—Poincelot.

There was a time when the ideal condition coveted by women who craved unlimited freedom, was that of a widow with one child.

—Edward Stanton Martin.

July Twenty-firstLet no Mandalay in his effort to seizeThe Widows Three, or just one if he please,There are others, I know, quite Simla to these,And the diff’rence not one man in Seven Seas.—Widow.July Twenty-secondTwo consorts in heaven are not two, but one angel.—Swedenborg.July Twenty-third“Please take the medicine, wife, and I’ll be hanged if it doesn’t cure you.”“Oh, I’LL take it, then, for it is sure to do good one way or another.”July Twenty-fourthMarriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.—Colton.

Let no Mandalay in his effort to seizeThe Widows Three, or just one if he please,There are others, I know, quite Simla to these,And the diff’rence not one man in Seven Seas.—Widow.

Let no Mandalay in his effort to seizeThe Widows Three, or just one if he please,There are others, I know, quite Simla to these,And the diff’rence not one man in Seven Seas.

Let no Mandalay in his effort to seize

The Widows Three, or just one if he please,

There are others, I know, quite Simla to these,

And the diff’rence not one man in Seven Seas.

—Widow.

Two consorts in heaven are not two, but one angel.

—Swedenborg.

“Please take the medicine, wife, and I’ll be hanged if it doesn’t cure you.”

“Oh, I’LL take it, then, for it is sure to do good one way or another.”

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.

—Colton.

July Twenty-fifth“It is never too late to wed.”July Twenty-sixthThe cause of his death was a complication of diseases, madam.Widow—Ah! that was so like him! He was always versatile in everything.—The Wasp.July Twenty-seventh“You say Grace married into the smart set?”“Gracious, no; she was divorced into it.”—Baltimore Herald.July Twenty-eighthA young widow has established a pistol gallery. Her qualifications as a teacher of the art of dueling are of course undoubted. Has she not killed her man?—Louisville Journal.

“It is never too late to wed.”

The cause of his death was a complication of diseases, madam.

Widow—Ah! that was so like him! He was always versatile in everything.

—The Wasp.

“You say Grace married into the smart set?”

“Gracious, no; she was divorced into it.”

—Baltimore Herald.

A young widow has established a pistol gallery. Her qualifications as a teacher of the art of dueling are of course undoubted. Has she not killed her man?

—Louisville Journal.

July Twenty-ninth“I have here one divorce notice and one marriage announcement,” said the editor’s assistant. “What caption shall I put on them?”“Run them together and head them “Breaks and Couplings,” replied the railway editor.—Exchange.July ThirtiethBut when he called on Sally BrownTo see how she got on,He found she’d got another BenWhose Christian name was John.—Thomas Hood.July Thirty-firstWidowhood grows yearly less necessary.—Edward Stanton Martin.

“I have here one divorce notice and one marriage announcement,” said the editor’s assistant. “What caption shall I put on them?”

“Run them together and head them “Breaks and Couplings,” replied the railway editor.

—Exchange.

But when he called on Sally BrownTo see how she got on,He found she’d got another BenWhose Christian name was John.—Thomas Hood.

But when he called on Sally BrownTo see how she got on,He found she’d got another BenWhose Christian name was John.

But when he called on Sally Brown

To see how she got on,

He found she’d got another Ben

Whose Christian name was John.

—Thomas Hood.

Widowhood grows yearly less necessary.

—Edward Stanton Martin.

August FirstThe giddy widow is an ever-present danger.—Dorothy Dix.August Second“Some men are awfully unfortunate. You remember Smith, whose wife died last year?”“Yes.”“Well, he’s got married again.”—The Wasp.August ThirdA daughter of Eve—for such was the widow Wadman—had better be fifty leagues off than make a man the object of her attentions when the house and all the furniture are her own.—Sterne.August FourthWhat is a first love worth, exceptTo prepare for a second?What does a second love bring?Only regret for the first.—John Hay.

The giddy widow is an ever-present danger.

—Dorothy Dix.

“Some men are awfully unfortunate. You remember Smith, whose wife died last year?”

“Yes.”

“Well, he’s got married again.”

—The Wasp.

A daughter of Eve—for such was the widow Wadman—had better be fifty leagues off than make a man the object of her attentions when the house and all the furniture are her own.

—Sterne.

What is a first love worth, exceptTo prepare for a second?What does a second love bring?Only regret for the first.—John Hay.

What is a first love worth, exceptTo prepare for a second?What does a second love bring?Only regret for the first.

What is a first love worth, except

To prepare for a second?

What does a second love bring?

Only regret for the first.

—John Hay.

August FifthIf once I loved him? Dear, I cannot say;All things have changed to me since he was here;I thought to die when first he went away,And now I name his name without a tear.—Anonymous.August SixthIs it dyin’ ye’re shpakin’ of? What would I do,An unmarried widda in mournin’ for you?—David L. Proudfit.August SeventhIt is better to have courage than a wife. A man can’t have both.—Life.August EighthThe widow knows man as merely a fallible human institution and she works him for all that he is worth.—Dorothy Dix.

If once I loved him? Dear, I cannot say;All things have changed to me since he was here;I thought to die when first he went away,And now I name his name without a tear.—Anonymous.

If once I loved him? Dear, I cannot say;All things have changed to me since he was here;I thought to die when first he went away,And now I name his name without a tear.

If once I loved him? Dear, I cannot say;

All things have changed to me since he was here;

I thought to die when first he went away,

And now I name his name without a tear.

—Anonymous.

Is it dyin’ ye’re shpakin’ of? What would I do,An unmarried widda in mournin’ for you?—David L. Proudfit.

Is it dyin’ ye’re shpakin’ of? What would I do,An unmarried widda in mournin’ for you?

Is it dyin’ ye’re shpakin’ of? What would I do,

An unmarried widda in mournin’ for you?

—David L. Proudfit.

It is better to have courage than a wife. A man can’t have both.

—Life.

The widow knows man as merely a fallible human institution and she works him for all that he is worth.

—Dorothy Dix.

August NinthThe instances that second marriage moveAre base respects of thrift and not of love.—Shakespeare.August TenthFaith, I thought him dead, not he!There he loves with ten-fold glee;And now this moment with his wings,I feel him tickling my heart-strings.—Cupid Swallowed.August EleventhCourt in haste but marry at leisure.—Widow’s Maxim.August TwelfthAs you may find, whene’er you like to find her,One man alone at first her heart can move;She then prefers him in the plural number,Not finding that the additions much encumber.—Byron.

The instances that second marriage moveAre base respects of thrift and not of love.—Shakespeare.

The instances that second marriage moveAre base respects of thrift and not of love.

The instances that second marriage move

Are base respects of thrift and not of love.

—Shakespeare.

Faith, I thought him dead, not he!There he loves with ten-fold glee;And now this moment with his wings,I feel him tickling my heart-strings.—Cupid Swallowed.

Faith, I thought him dead, not he!There he loves with ten-fold glee;And now this moment with his wings,I feel him tickling my heart-strings.

Faith, I thought him dead, not he!

There he loves with ten-fold glee;

And now this moment with his wings,

I feel him tickling my heart-strings.

—Cupid Swallowed.

Court in haste but marry at leisure.

—Widow’s Maxim.

As you may find, whene’er you like to find her,One man alone at first her heart can move;She then prefers him in the plural number,Not finding that the additions much encumber.—Byron.

As you may find, whene’er you like to find her,One man alone at first her heart can move;She then prefers him in the plural number,Not finding that the additions much encumber.

As you may find, whene’er you like to find her,

One man alone at first her heart can move;

She then prefers him in the plural number,

Not finding that the additions much encumber.

—Byron.

August ThirteenthMrs. Morris—“Since I have been married I have had only one wish ungratified.”Mr. Morris—“And what is that, dear?”Mrs. Morris—“That I were single again.”—Life.August FourteenthThe pure one loved him to the day he died,But when he died, his dearest friend she wed.—James B. Bensal.August Fifteenth“There never was a nicer woman as a widder, than that ’ere second wentur o’ mine,—a sweet cretur she was, Sammy; and all I can say on her now, is, that as she was such an uncommon pleasant widder, it’s a great pity she ever changed her condition.”—Dickens.August SixteenthAlas! you see of how slight metal widows’ vows are made.—Chapman.

Mrs. Morris—“Since I have been married I have had only one wish ungratified.”

Mr. Morris—“And what is that, dear?”

Mrs. Morris—“That I were single again.”

—Life.

The pure one loved him to the day he died,But when he died, his dearest friend she wed.—James B. Bensal.

The pure one loved him to the day he died,But when he died, his dearest friend she wed.

The pure one loved him to the day he died,

But when he died, his dearest friend she wed.

—James B. Bensal.

“There never was a nicer woman as a widder, than that ’ere second wentur o’ mine,—a sweet cretur she was, Sammy; and all I can say on her now, is, that as she was such an uncommon pleasant widder, it’s a great pity she ever changed her condition.”

—Dickens.

Alas! you see of how slight metal widows’ vows are made.

—Chapman.

Widows are held in such esteem, that an artificial species is cultivated, called straw, or grass widows, from their habit of making hay while the sun shines.—Dorothy Dix.

Widows are held in such esteem, that an artificial species is cultivated, called straw, or grass widows, from their habit of making hay while the sun shines.

—Dorothy Dix.

August SeventeenthIt tells me how short lived widows’ tears are, that their weeping is in truth but laughing under a mask, that they mourn in their gowns and laugh in their sleeves.—Chapman.August EighteenthBut few men who have gone out to console widows have returned unscathed.—Dorothy Dix.August Nineteenth“Maids are either harmless, or will become so, but with a widow the sting is never gone.”August TwentiethThe widow about to remarry is the most unselfish of mortals. She seldom thinks of number one.—Life.

It tells me how short lived widows’ tears are, that their weeping is in truth but laughing under a mask, that they mourn in their gowns and laugh in their sleeves.

—Chapman.

But few men who have gone out to console widows have returned unscathed.

—Dorothy Dix.

“Maids are either harmless, or will become so, but with a widow the sting is never gone.”

The widow about to remarry is the most unselfish of mortals. She seldom thinks of number one.

—Life.

August Twenty-firstThe head and the heart in the game of loveMust each play a separate part;But we’ll pardon a girl with a cold in her head,If she’ll only be warm in the heart.—Life.August Twenty-second“Do you think old maids live longer than widows?”Old maid—“It seems longer.”August Twenty-thirdThat’s what a man wants in a wife, mostly: he wants to make sure o’ one fool as ’ll tell him he’s wise.—George Eliot.August Twenty-fourthHusbands are in heaven whose wives chide them not.—Proverb.

The head and the heart in the game of loveMust each play a separate part;But we’ll pardon a girl with a cold in her head,If she’ll only be warm in the heart.—Life.

The head and the heart in the game of loveMust each play a separate part;But we’ll pardon a girl with a cold in her head,If she’ll only be warm in the heart.

The head and the heart in the game of love

Must each play a separate part;

But we’ll pardon a girl with a cold in her head,

If she’ll only be warm in the heart.

—Life.

“Do you think old maids live longer than widows?”

Old maid—“It seems longer.”

That’s what a man wants in a wife, mostly: he wants to make sure o’ one fool as ’ll tell him he’s wise.

—George Eliot.

Husbands are in heaven whose wives chide them not.

—Proverb.

August Twenty-fifth“No man is a romantic hero to a widow.”August Twenty-sixthThe chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it—sometimes three.—Alex. Dumas.August Twenty-seventh“And how long have you been a widow?”“Oh, the year was up yesterday; but indeed you must give me at least a month to get ready.”When he got outside again, he murmured, “Now I know what old Weller meant.”—The Wasp.August Twenty-eighthIt is mere folly for a man to underestimate the danger he runs from a widow.—Dorothy Dix.

“No man is a romantic hero to a widow.”

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it—sometimes three.

—Alex. Dumas.

“And how long have you been a widow?”

“Oh, the year was up yesterday; but indeed you must give me at least a month to get ready.”

When he got outside again, he murmured, “Now I know what old Weller meant.”

—The Wasp.

It is mere folly for a man to underestimate the danger he runs from a widow.

—Dorothy Dix.

August Twenty-ninthAre you not ashamed to enforce a poor widow to so rough a course?—Shakespeare.August ThirtiethCupid has no trouble keeping Lent;For since with flame his year is spent,He must have lots of ashes.—Puck.August Thirty-firstAfter such years of dissension and strife,Some wonder that Peter should weep for his wife;But his tears on her grave are nothing surprising,He’s laying her dust, for fear of its rising.—Hood.

Are you not ashamed to enforce a poor widow to so rough a course?

—Shakespeare.

Cupid has no trouble keeping Lent;For since with flame his year is spent,He must have lots of ashes.—Puck.

Cupid has no trouble keeping Lent;For since with flame his year is spent,He must have lots of ashes.

Cupid has no trouble keeping Lent;

For since with flame his year is spent,

He must have lots of ashes.

—Puck.

After such years of dissension and strife,Some wonder that Peter should weep for his wife;But his tears on her grave are nothing surprising,He’s laying her dust, for fear of its rising.—Hood.

After such years of dissension and strife,Some wonder that Peter should weep for his wife;But his tears on her grave are nothing surprising,He’s laying her dust, for fear of its rising.

After such years of dissension and strife,

Some wonder that Peter should weep for his wife;

But his tears on her grave are nothing surprising,

He’s laying her dust, for fear of its rising.

—Hood.

September FirstWas never widow had so dear a loss!—Shakespeare.September SecondFor she saith in her heart, I sit a queen, and am no widow and shall see no sorrow.—Rev. xviii:7.September Third“And so you are married—joined for life?”“Oh, it’s hardly that bad!”—Judge.September FourthParke—“Wiggson married a widow, didn’t he?”Lane—“Yes.”Parke—“I wonder how he likes her former husband?”—Puck.

Was never widow had so dear a loss!

—Shakespeare.

For she saith in her heart, I sit a queen, and am no widow and shall see no sorrow.

—Rev. xviii:7.

“And so you are married—joined for life?”

“Oh, it’s hardly that bad!”

—Judge.

Parke—“Wiggson married a widow, didn’t he?”

Lane—“Yes.”

Parke—“I wonder how he likes her former husband?”

—Puck.

September FifthShe had tasted the sweets of wedded life, but somehow single blessedness, decked in the latest modes of widow’s weeds, offered her a more alluring programme.—Malcolm C. Salomon.September SixthThe dearest object to a married man should be his wife; but it is not infrequently her clothes.—Danbury News Man.September SeventhA little widow is a dangerous thing; but is there not always a fascination in dangerous things?—Malcolm C. Salomon.September EighthBeing a widow, rightly understood, gives a woman many privileges that no other woman possesses.—Dorothy Dix.

She had tasted the sweets of wedded life, but somehow single blessedness, decked in the latest modes of widow’s weeds, offered her a more alluring programme.

—Malcolm C. Salomon.

The dearest object to a married man should be his wife; but it is not infrequently her clothes.

—Danbury News Man.

A little widow is a dangerous thing; but is there not always a fascination in dangerous things?

—Malcolm C. Salomon.

Being a widow, rightly understood, gives a woman many privileges that no other woman possesses.

—Dorothy Dix.

September NinthIt does not matter whom you marry, for you will find next morning you have married some one else.—S. Rogers.September TenthWhoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing.—Proverbs.September EleventhA young man in the West has written home: “Send me a wig.” And his fond parents don’t know whether he is scalped or married.—Danbury News Man.September TwelfthHeaven preserve you ever from that dull blessing, an obedient husband.—John Tobin.

It does not matter whom you marry, for you will find next morning you have married some one else.

—S. Rogers.

Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing.

—Proverbs.

A young man in the West has written home: “Send me a wig.” And his fond parents don’t know whether he is scalped or married.

—Danbury News Man.

Heaven preserve you ever from that dull blessing, an obedient husband.

—John Tobin.

September Thirteenth“By George! if I were in your place I would apply for a divorce.”“I’d like to, but she won’t let me.”—Indianapolis Journal.September FourteenthGeorge Washington was rejected by at least one young lady and finally had to marry a mere widow.—Judge.September FifteenthDivorce Lawyer—“What’s the cause, madam?”Client—“I have been married two years.”—Puck.September SixteenthOne husband on earth is worth two underground.—Widow.

“By George! if I were in your place I would apply for a divorce.”

“I’d like to, but she won’t let me.”

—Indianapolis Journal.

George Washington was rejected by at least one young lady and finally had to marry a mere widow.

—Judge.

Divorce Lawyer—“What’s the cause, madam?”

Client—“I have been married two years.”

—Puck.

One husband on earth is worth two underground.

—Widow.

September SeventeenthA woman enjoys two days of happiness on earth: when she takes a husband and when she buries him.—Anonymous.September Eighteenth“Widows are witches, don’t you think?”September NineteenthWidow Black—“Whad meks you fink he’s gwine to propose at last?”Widow Grey—“Kase I kin tell from his hungry looks and his seediness dat he cain’t suppo’t hisself much longer.”—Harper’s Bazar.September TwentiethMany overhasty widows cut their years of mourning very short and within a few weeks make post-speed to a second marriage.—Fuller.

A woman enjoys two days of happiness on earth: when she takes a husband and when she buries him.

—Anonymous.

“Widows are witches, don’t you think?”

Widow Black—“Whad meks you fink he’s gwine to propose at last?”

Widow Grey—“Kase I kin tell from his hungry looks and his seediness dat he cain’t suppo’t hisself much longer.”

—Harper’s Bazar.

Many overhasty widows cut their years of mourning very short and within a few weeks make post-speed to a second marriage.

—Fuller.

September Twenty-firstHandsome widows, after a twelvemonth, enjoy a latitude and longitude without limit.—Balzac.September Twenty-secondMarriage: an institution where one person undertakes to provide happiness for two.—Mme. Roland.September Twenty-thirdIt destroys one’s nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.—Beaconsfield.September Twenty-fourthIf a widower buys a new tie and it is of a bright color, his daughters begin to grow suspicious.—Atchison Globe.

Handsome widows, after a twelvemonth, enjoy a latitude and longitude without limit.

—Balzac.

Marriage: an institution where one person undertakes to provide happiness for two.

—Mme. Roland.

It destroys one’s nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.

—Beaconsfield.

If a widower buys a new tie and it is of a bright color, his daughters begin to grow suspicious.

—Atchison Globe.

September Twenty-fifth“All the world loves a widow.”September Twenty-sixth“Do you think that was a fortunate marriage?” asked the minister’s wife.“Oh, yes, very!” replied the reverend gentleman; “I needed the money.”—Yonkers Statesman.September Twenty-seventhMrs. Black—“They say he’s dreadfully henpecked.”Mrs. Dash—“Henpecked! why the man does not even dare to get a divorce.”—Harper’s Bazar.September Twenty-eighthA woman keeps her first love long if she happens not to take a second.—Rochefoucauld.

“All the world loves a widow.”

“Do you think that was a fortunate marriage?” asked the minister’s wife.

“Oh, yes, very!” replied the reverend gentleman; “I needed the money.”

—Yonkers Statesman.

Mrs. Black—“They say he’s dreadfully henpecked.”

Mrs. Dash—“Henpecked! why the man does not even dare to get a divorce.”

—Harper’s Bazar.

A woman keeps her first love long if she happens not to take a second.

—Rochefoucauld.

September Twenty-ninth“Yes, sir, it’s a fact: that married men live longer than single ones.”“And do you know the reason, sir? The miserable wretches don’t dare die.”—Harper’s Bazar.September ThirtiethFirst Soubrette—“What is the cause of the divorce?”Second Soubrette—“Both intend to star next season.”—Exchange.

“Yes, sir, it’s a fact: that married men live longer than single ones.”

“And do you know the reason, sir? The miserable wretches don’t dare die.”

—Harper’s Bazar.

First Soubrette—“What is the cause of the divorce?”

Second Soubrette—“Both intend to star next season.”

—Exchange.

October FirstMaude—“Is she married?”Mabel—“No, unmarried for the fourth time.”—Harper’s Bazar.October SecondNow, if you must marry, take care she is old;A troop-sergeant’s widow’s the nicest, I’m told;For beauty won’t help if your rations is cold,Nor love ain’t enough for a soldier.—Kipling.October ThirdYour spouse, who husbands dear hath buried seven,Stands a bad chance to make the number even.—Martial.October FourthMarriage is a lottery; every wife does not become a widow.—I. Zangwill.

Maude—“Is she married?”

Mabel—“No, unmarried for the fourth time.”

—Harper’s Bazar.

Now, if you must marry, take care she is old;A troop-sergeant’s widow’s the nicest, I’m told;For beauty won’t help if your rations is cold,Nor love ain’t enough for a soldier.—Kipling.

Now, if you must marry, take care she is old;A troop-sergeant’s widow’s the nicest, I’m told;For beauty won’t help if your rations is cold,Nor love ain’t enough for a soldier.

Now, if you must marry, take care she is old;

A troop-sergeant’s widow’s the nicest, I’m told;

For beauty won’t help if your rations is cold,

Nor love ain’t enough for a soldier.

—Kipling.

Your spouse, who husbands dear hath buried seven,Stands a bad chance to make the number even.—Martial.

Your spouse, who husbands dear hath buried seven,Stands a bad chance to make the number even.

Your spouse, who husbands dear hath buried seven,

Stands a bad chance to make the number even.

—Martial.

Marriage is a lottery; every wife does not become a widow.

—I. Zangwill.

October FifthBachelors are providential beings; God created them for the consolation of widows.—J. de Finod.October SixthA man without a wife is but half a man.—Benjamin Franklin.October SeventhNo wise man ever married; but for a fool it is the most ambrosial of all possible future states.—Byron.October EighthNow a little widow is perilously fascinating; her very littleness constitutes an element of danger, since it coaxingly compels sympathy.—Malcolm C. Salomon.

Bachelors are providential beings; God created them for the consolation of widows.

—J. de Finod.

A man without a wife is but half a man.

—Benjamin Franklin.

No wise man ever married; but for a fool it is the most ambrosial of all possible future states.

—Byron.

Now a little widow is perilously fascinating; her very littleness constitutes an element of danger, since it coaxingly compels sympathy.

—Malcolm C. Salomon.

October Ninth“Sacred to the memory of my dearly beloved wife, Mary. Ditto Jane.”—Epitaph.October TenthIt is but a shallow philosophy that underrates the married state; and he who bids you avoid matrimony because he has tried it and failed, is a fool for his pains.—Malcolm C. Salomon.October EleventhWe would the widow wed; she’s old, say I,But if she older were, I would comply.—Martial.October TwelfthTo be a widow is a mournful state;Delia was wise and made one moon its date.—Anonymous.

“Sacred to the memory of my dearly beloved wife, Mary. Ditto Jane.”

—Epitaph.

It is but a shallow philosophy that underrates the married state; and he who bids you avoid matrimony because he has tried it and failed, is a fool for his pains.

—Malcolm C. Salomon.

We would the widow wed; she’s old, say I,But if she older were, I would comply.—Martial.

We would the widow wed; she’s old, say I,But if she older were, I would comply.

We would the widow wed; she’s old, say I,

But if she older were, I would comply.

—Martial.

To be a widow is a mournful state;Delia was wise and made one moon its date.—Anonymous.

To be a widow is a mournful state;Delia was wise and made one moon its date.

To be a widow is a mournful state;

Delia was wise and made one moon its date.

—Anonymous.

October ThirteenthYour wise man will never marry his first love.—Malcolm C. Salomon.October FourteenthFrom your breast you may pluckHis dart, if you will,But the place where it struckWill be sensitive still.—Life.October FifteenthStar—“I have had my diamonds stolen three times and been married four. Now what else can I do?”Manager—“You might take lessons in acting.”—Puck.October Sixteenth“A widow and her money are soon married.”

Your wise man will never marry his first love.

—Malcolm C. Salomon.

From your breast you may pluckHis dart, if you will,But the place where it struckWill be sensitive still.—Life.

From your breast you may pluckHis dart, if you will,But the place where it struckWill be sensitive still.

From your breast you may pluck

His dart, if you will,

But the place where it struck

Will be sensitive still.

—Life.

Star—“I have had my diamonds stolen three times and been married four. Now what else can I do?”

Manager—“You might take lessons in acting.”

—Puck.

“A widow and her money are soon married.”

October SeventeenthWidows differ; maids are all alike.October EighteenthThe law allows one husband to one wife,But wives will seldom brook the straightened life;They must have two; besides her Jack, each Jill,In spite of law and gospel, weds her will.—Exchange.October NineteenthWhen one sympathizes with a widow, when one says, “Poor little woman”—one is lost.—Malcolm C. Salomon.October TwentiethShe was so pious during Lent,I thought it best to shun her,So she’d have leisure to repent;But in the forty days so spent,My rival wooed and won her.—Life.

Widows differ; maids are all alike.

The law allows one husband to one wife,But wives will seldom brook the straightened life;They must have two; besides her Jack, each Jill,In spite of law and gospel, weds her will.—Exchange.

The law allows one husband to one wife,But wives will seldom brook the straightened life;They must have two; besides her Jack, each Jill,In spite of law and gospel, weds her will.

The law allows one husband to one wife,

But wives will seldom brook the straightened life;

They must have two; besides her Jack, each Jill,

In spite of law and gospel, weds her will.

—Exchange.

When one sympathizes with a widow, when one says, “Poor little woman”—one is lost.

—Malcolm C. Salomon.

She was so pious during Lent,I thought it best to shun her,So she’d have leisure to repent;But in the forty days so spent,My rival wooed and won her.—Life.

She was so pious during Lent,I thought it best to shun her,So she’d have leisure to repent;But in the forty days so spent,My rival wooed and won her.

She was so pious during Lent,

I thought it best to shun her,

So she’d have leisure to repent;

But in the forty days so spent,

My rival wooed and won her.

—Life.

October Twenty-first“Needs must when the widow drives.”October Twenty-second“Are you going to sue him for breach of promise?”“No. Dick always signed his letters ‘without recourse.’”—Life.October Twenty-thirdMan flattering man not always can prevail,But woman flattering man can never fail.—Marriott.October Twenty-fourthA place under government was all that Paddy wanted;He married soon a scolding wife, and his wish was granted.—Anonymous.

“Needs must when the widow drives.”

“Are you going to sue him for breach of promise?”

“No. Dick always signed his letters ‘without recourse.’”

—Life.

Man flattering man not always can prevail,But woman flattering man can never fail.—Marriott.

Man flattering man not always can prevail,But woman flattering man can never fail.

Man flattering man not always can prevail,

But woman flattering man can never fail.

—Marriott.

A place under government was all that Paddy wanted;He married soon a scolding wife, and his wish was granted.—Anonymous.

A place under government was all that Paddy wanted;He married soon a scolding wife, and his wish was granted.

A place under government was all that Paddy wanted;

He married soon a scolding wife, and his wish was granted.

—Anonymous.

October Twenty-fifthWhy should she be condemned to wear moral sackcloth and ashes all her life because she is a widow and does not choose to marry again?—Malcolm C. Salomon.October Twenty-sixthThough marriage by some folks be reckoned a curse,Three wives did I marry, for better or worse;The first for her person, the next for her purse,The third for a warming pan, doctor and nurse.—Thomas Bastard, of Oxford.October Twenty-seventhIf you’d be married, first grow young,Wear a mask and hold your tongue.—Proverb.October Twenty-eighthAnd withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house.—I Tim. v:13.

Why should she be condemned to wear moral sackcloth and ashes all her life because she is a widow and does not choose to marry again?

—Malcolm C. Salomon.

Though marriage by some folks be reckoned a curse,Three wives did I marry, for better or worse;The first for her person, the next for her purse,The third for a warming pan, doctor and nurse.—Thomas Bastard, of Oxford.

Though marriage by some folks be reckoned a curse,Three wives did I marry, for better or worse;The first for her person, the next for her purse,The third for a warming pan, doctor and nurse.

Though marriage by some folks be reckoned a curse,

Three wives did I marry, for better or worse;

The first for her person, the next for her purse,

The third for a warming pan, doctor and nurse.

—Thomas Bastard, of Oxford.

If you’d be married, first grow young,Wear a mask and hold your tongue.—Proverb.

If you’d be married, first grow young,Wear a mask and hold your tongue.

If you’d be married, first grow young,

Wear a mask and hold your tongue.

—Proverb.

And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house.

—I Tim. v:13.

October Twenty-ninthThere is a great charm in loving a woman who is versed in the lore of love and who is practiced in all the sleight-of-heart tricks of it.—Malcolm C. Salomon.October ThirtiethAnd there came a certain poor widow and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing.—Mark xii:42.October Thirty-firstAnd not only idle, but tattlers also, and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.—I Tim. v:13.

There is a great charm in loving a woman who is versed in the lore of love and who is practiced in all the sleight-of-heart tricks of it.

—Malcolm C. Salomon.

And there came a certain poor widow and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing.

—Mark xii:42.

And not only idle, but tattlers also, and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.

—I Tim. v:13.

November FirstIf a man do not erect in this age his own tomb ere he dies, he shall live no longer in monument than the bell rings and the widow weeps.—Shakespeare.November SecondRaillery! Raillery! madam, we’ve no animosity. We hit off a little wit now and then, but no animosity.—Congreve.November ThirdNot whom you marry, but how much you marry, is the real question.—Whipple.November Fourth“They tell me, Daniel, you’ve had four wives.”Daniel (proudly)—“Ess, zur, I ’ave—and what’s more, two of ’em was good ’uns!”—San Francisco News Letter.

If a man do not erect in this age his own tomb ere he dies, he shall live no longer in monument than the bell rings and the widow weeps.

—Shakespeare.

Raillery! Raillery! madam, we’ve no animosity. We hit off a little wit now and then, but no animosity.

—Congreve.

Not whom you marry, but how much you marry, is the real question.

—Whipple.

“They tell me, Daniel, you’ve had four wives.”

Daniel (proudly)—“Ess, zur, I ’ave—and what’s more, two of ’em was good ’uns!”

—San Francisco News Letter.

November FifthThe little widow is experienced, accessible and free, and withal fatally fascinating.—Malcolm C. Salomon.November Sixth“Haven’t you lost your wife?” inquired the gravestone agent.“Why, yes, I have,” said the man, “but no gravestone ain’t necessary; you see the cussed critter ain’t dead. She’s scooted with another man.” The agent retired.—Danbury News Man.November SeventhGive unto mine hand, which am a widow, the power that I have conceived.—Judith ix:9.November EighthHe (desperately in love)—“Don’t you think two can live as cheaply as one?”Widow (reflectingly)—“Ya-as; but I’d rather be the one.”—Puck.

The little widow is experienced, accessible and free, and withal fatally fascinating.

—Malcolm C. Salomon.

“Haven’t you lost your wife?” inquired the gravestone agent.

“Why, yes, I have,” said the man, “but no gravestone ain’t necessary; you see the cussed critter ain’t dead. She’s scooted with another man.” The agent retired.

—Danbury News Man.

Give unto mine hand, which am a widow, the power that I have conceived.

—Judith ix:9.

He (desperately in love)—“Don’t you think two can live as cheaply as one?”

Widow (reflectingly)—“Ya-as; but I’d rather be the one.”

—Puck.

November NinthLet us oppress the poor righteous man, let us not spare the widow.—Wisdom of Solomon ii:10.November TenthDo not the tears run down the widow’s cheeks, and is not her cry against him that causeth them to fall?—Ecclesiasticus xxxv:15.November EleventhShe is a dead shot with Cupid’s arrow, and never misses her mark.—Malcolm C. Salomon.November TwelfthShe was a woman without a past.Who?Eve.—Life.

Let us oppress the poor righteous man, let us not spare the widow.

—Wisdom of Solomon ii:10.

Do not the tears run down the widow’s cheeks, and is not her cry against him that causeth them to fall?

—Ecclesiasticus xxxv:15.

She is a dead shot with Cupid’s arrow, and never misses her mark.

—Malcolm C. Salomon.

She was a woman without a past.

Who?

Eve.

—Life.

November ThirteenthA little widow may be a dangerous thing, but the danger is harmless.—Malcolm C. Salomon.November FourteenthThe remains of many eligible bachelors who have strayed away from their clubs and been lost have been found by their anxious friends reposing by the domestic widow’s fireside.—Dorothy Dix.November FifteenthHe evil entreateth the barren that beareth not; and doest not good to the widow.—Job xxiv:21.November SixteenthThe barrel of meal shall not waste; neither shall the cruse of oil fail.—I Kings xvii:14.

A little widow may be a dangerous thing, but the danger is harmless.

—Malcolm C. Salomon.

The remains of many eligible bachelors who have strayed away from their clubs and been lost have been found by their anxious friends reposing by the domestic widow’s fireside.

—Dorothy Dix.

He evil entreateth the barren that beareth not; and doest not good to the widow.

—Job xxiv:21.

The barrel of meal shall not waste; neither shall the cruse of oil fail.

—I Kings xvii:14.

Shall I woo the one or other?Both attract me—more’s the pity;Pretty is the widowed mother,And the daughter, too, is pretty.—Eugene Field.

Shall I woo the one or other?Both attract me—more’s the pity;Pretty is the widowed mother,And the daughter, too, is pretty.

Shall I woo the one or other?

Both attract me—more’s the pity;

Pretty is the widowed mother,

And the daughter, too, is pretty.

—Eugene Field.

November SeventeenthTo the public eye the most attractive widow is the gay and frivolous one.—Dorothy Dix.November EighteenthAmong all her lovers she hath none to comfort her.—Lamentations i:2.November NineteenthFinally, I will search for things that are little, avoiding all torch-lite processions, wimmin’s rights conventions and grass widders generally.—Josh Billings.November TwentiethHow is she become as a widow! she that was great among the nations!—Lamentations i:1.

To the public eye the most attractive widow is the gay and frivolous one.

—Dorothy Dix.

Among all her lovers she hath none to comfort her.

—Lamentations i:2.

Finally, I will search for things that are little, avoiding all torch-lite processions, wimmin’s rights conventions and grass widders generally.

—Josh Billings.

How is she become as a widow! she that was great among the nations!

—Lamentations i:1.

November Twenty-firstNeither shall they take for their wives a widow.—Ezekiel xliv:22.November Twenty-second“I want some cards printed for ‘Mrs. Carrol.’”“What’s her other name?”“Ain’t got no other; her husband’s run away and left her.”—Danbury News.November Twenty-thirdAnd all the widows stood by him weeping.—Acts ix:39.November Twenty-fourthAnd now a widow I must mourn,The pleasures that will ne’er return;No comfort but a hearty can,When I think on John Highlandman.—Burns.

Neither shall they take for their wives a widow.

—Ezekiel xliv:22.

“I want some cards printed for ‘Mrs. Carrol.’”

“What’s her other name?”

“Ain’t got no other; her husband’s run away and left her.”

—Danbury News.

And all the widows stood by him weeping.

—Acts ix:39.

And now a widow I must mourn,The pleasures that will ne’er return;No comfort but a hearty can,When I think on John Highlandman.—Burns.

And now a widow I must mourn,The pleasures that will ne’er return;No comfort but a hearty can,When I think on John Highlandman.

And now a widow I must mourn,

The pleasures that will ne’er return;

No comfort but a hearty can,

When I think on John Highlandman.

—Burns.

November Twenty-fifthWhere is the bill of your mother’s divorcement?—Isaiah i:1.November Twenty-sixth“Ev’ybody knows there ain’ no happiness in married life till one of de contractin’ parties done ’ceasted.”—Harper’s Magazine.November Twenty-seventhWhoso shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement.—Matthew v:31.November Twenty-eighthIt has been found that the only way to head off a widow is to kill it.—Dorothy Dix.

Where is the bill of your mother’s divorcement?

—Isaiah i:1.

“Ev’ybody knows there ain’ no happiness in married life till one of de contractin’ parties done ’ceasted.”

—Harper’s Magazine.

Whoso shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement.

—Matthew v:31.

It has been found that the only way to head off a widow is to kill it.

—Dorothy Dix.

November Twenty-ninth“If ever you’re attacked with the gout, sir, just you marry a widder as has got a good loud woice, with a decent notion of using it.”—Dickens.November ThirtiethYour seventh wife, Phileros, is now being buried in your field. No man’s field yields him greater profit than yours, Phileros.—Martial.

“If ever you’re attacked with the gout, sir, just you marry a widder as has got a good loud woice, with a decent notion of using it.”

—Dickens.

Your seventh wife, Phileros, is now being buried in your field. No man’s field yields him greater profit than yours, Phileros.

—Martial.

December First“It behooves a husband, if he would not be forgotten, to stay alive.”December SecondThe most common, and perhaps the most dangerous, is the weeping widow, which may be easily distinguished by its long, flowing black veil and pensive air of melancholy.—Dorothy Dix.December Third“The widow can bake, the widow can brew,The widow can shape and the widow can sew.”December FourthHonor widows that are widows indeed.—I Timothy v:3.

“It behooves a husband, if he would not be forgotten, to stay alive.”

The most common, and perhaps the most dangerous, is the weeping widow, which may be easily distinguished by its long, flowing black veil and pensive air of melancholy.

—Dorothy Dix.

“The widow can bake, the widow can brew,The widow can shape and the widow can sew.”

“The widow can bake, the widow can brew,

The widow can shape and the widow can sew.”

Honor widows that are widows indeed.

—I Timothy v:3.

December FifthNow she that is a widow indeed and desolate, trusteth in God.—I Timothy v:5.December Sixth“Take example by your father, my boy, and be very careful o’ the widders all your life.”—Dickens.December SeventhMrs. Peachblow—“Why does your husband carry such a tremendous amount of life insurance when he’s in such perfect health?”Mrs. Flicker—“Oh, just to tantalize me! Men are naturally cruel.”—Life.December EighthShe that is a widow is a lady.—Kent.

Now she that is a widow indeed and desolate, trusteth in God.

—I Timothy v:5.

“Take example by your father, my boy, and be very careful o’ the widders all your life.”

—Dickens.

Mrs. Peachblow—“Why does your husband carry such a tremendous amount of life insurance when he’s in such perfect health?”

Mrs. Flicker—“Oh, just to tantalize me! Men are naturally cruel.”

—Life.

She that is a widow is a lady.

—Kent.

December NinthThe particular skill of the widow has ever been to inflame your wishes and yet command respect.—Addison.December TenthSecond marriage: “The triumph of hope over experience.”—Johnson.December EleventhLawyer—“Incompatibility? How does this incompatibility manifest itself?”Lady—“Why, I want to get a divorce and my husband doesn’t.”December Twelfth“Thou art not the first man a widow’s love hath sent to the barber shop.”—Exchange.

The particular skill of the widow has ever been to inflame your wishes and yet command respect.

—Addison.

Second marriage: “The triumph of hope over experience.”

—Johnson.

Lawyer—“Incompatibility? How does this incompatibility manifest itself?”

Lady—“Why, I want to get a divorce and my husband doesn’t.”

“Thou art not the first man a widow’s love hath sent to the barber shop.”

—Exchange.

December ThirteenthThese widows, sir, are the most perverse creatures in the world.—Addison.December FourteenthWith his dying breath he bid me never marry again till his grave should be dry, even though it should take up four days in drying.—Oliver Goldsmith.December FifteenthLawyer—“But, Mrs. Smith, there is absolutely no ground for a divorce.”Fair Client—“No cause? How long do you imagine it requires for one to become thoroughly tired of the name of Smith?”—Life.December SixteenthBoth here and hence, pursue me lasting strife,If, once a widow, ever I be wife!—Shakespeare.

These widows, sir, are the most perverse creatures in the world.

—Addison.

With his dying breath he bid me never marry again till his grave should be dry, even though it should take up four days in drying.

—Oliver Goldsmith.

Lawyer—“But, Mrs. Smith, there is absolutely no ground for a divorce.”

Fair Client—“No cause? How long do you imagine it requires for one to become thoroughly tired of the name of Smith?”

—Life.

Both here and hence, pursue me lasting strife,If, once a widow, ever I be wife!—Shakespeare.

Both here and hence, pursue me lasting strife,If, once a widow, ever I be wife!

Both here and hence, pursue me lasting strife,

If, once a widow, ever I be wife!

—Shakespeare.

December SeventeenthNone wed the second but who killed the first.—Shakespeare.December EighteenthIf I have withheld the poor from their desire or have caused the eyes of the widow to fail.—Job xxxi:16.December Nineteenth“The Bible distinctly says, ‘Ye ask and ye receive not, because ye ask amiss.’”“Then ask a widow.”December TwentiethIn proportion as his passion for the widow abated and old age came on, he left off fox-hunting; but a hare is not yet safe that sits within ten miles of his house.—Addison.

None wed the second but who killed the first.

—Shakespeare.

If I have withheld the poor from their desire or have caused the eyes of the widow to fail.

—Job xxxi:16.

“The Bible distinctly says, ‘Ye ask and ye receive not, because ye ask amiss.’”

“Then ask a widow.”

In proportion as his passion for the widow abated and old age came on, he left off fox-hunting; but a hare is not yet safe that sits within ten miles of his house.

—Addison.

December Twenty-firstMan proposes and the widow—accepts.December Twenty-secondCome, Hurry up! Cause the widow’s heart to sing,Seal Pledge and Vow and Pleading with a Ring;Or, if Cupid’s dart has failed your Heart to flutter,To Cupid She won’t do a Thing.—Ex-Widow.December Twenty-thirdAre you mirthful? how her laughter,Silver sounding, will ring out!She can lure, and catch and play you,As an angler does the trout.—Anonymous.December Twenty-fourthHow would you like to swap a ten-dollar pension for a five-dollar man?—Kansas Suitor.

Man proposes and the widow—accepts.

Come, Hurry up! Cause the widow’s heart to sing,Seal Pledge and Vow and Pleading with a Ring;Or, if Cupid’s dart has failed your Heart to flutter,To Cupid She won’t do a Thing.—Ex-Widow.

Come, Hurry up! Cause the widow’s heart to sing,Seal Pledge and Vow and Pleading with a Ring;Or, if Cupid’s dart has failed your Heart to flutter,To Cupid She won’t do a Thing.

Come, Hurry up! Cause the widow’s heart to sing,

Seal Pledge and Vow and Pleading with a Ring;

Or, if Cupid’s dart has failed your Heart to flutter,

To Cupid She won’t do a Thing.

—Ex-Widow.

Are you mirthful? how her laughter,Silver sounding, will ring out!She can lure, and catch and play you,As an angler does the trout.—Anonymous.

Are you mirthful? how her laughter,Silver sounding, will ring out!She can lure, and catch and play you,As an angler does the trout.

Are you mirthful? how her laughter,

Silver sounding, will ring out!

She can lure, and catch and play you,

As an angler does the trout.

—Anonymous.

How would you like to swap a ten-dollar pension for a five-dollar man?

—Kansas Suitor.

December Twenty-fifthMen dying make their wills,But wives escape a task so sad;Why should they make what all their livesThe gentle dames have had?—Dryden.December Twenty-sixthWedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.—Heywood.December Twenty-seventhOf old women, widows are most woeful.—Thomas Fuller.December Twenty-eighthThe first moment the widow Wadman saw him she felt something stirring within her in his favor,—something, something.—Sterne.

Men dying make their wills,But wives escape a task so sad;Why should they make what all their livesThe gentle dames have had?—Dryden.

Men dying make their wills,But wives escape a task so sad;Why should they make what all their livesThe gentle dames have had?

Men dying make their wills,

But wives escape a task so sad;

Why should they make what all their lives

The gentle dames have had?

—Dryden.

Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.

—Heywood.

Of old women, widows are most woeful.

—Thomas Fuller.

The first moment the widow Wadman saw him she felt something stirring within her in his favor,—something, something.

—Sterne.

December Twenty-ninthBut with a husband we demandThe coin that’s current in the land.—Richard Realf.December ThirtiethIn her first passion woman loves her lover; in all others, all she loves is love.—Byron.December Thirty-first“And when a widow’s in the case,You know all other things give place.”

But with a husband we demandThe coin that’s current in the land.—Richard Realf.

But with a husband we demandThe coin that’s current in the land.

But with a husband we demand

The coin that’s current in the land.

—Richard Realf.

In her first passion woman loves her lover; in all others, all she loves is love.

—Byron.

“And when a widow’s in the case,You know all other things give place.”

“And when a widow’s in the case,

You know all other things give place.”

The Tomoyé PressSan Francisco, Cal.

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