Fifteen Minuteswith a Playwright
By HARRY L. NEWTON[Copyright MCMIII by Will Rossiter]
By HARRY L. NEWTON[Copyright MCMIII by Will Rossiter]
By HARRY L. NEWTON
[Copyright MCMIII by Will Rossiter]
I have written the scenario of a play, which I think will prove an innovation in the drama. It is entitled plain “MICKEY THE MOUSE: or, THE POROUS PLASTER.” The porous plaster does not appear in the play at all—I merely tack it on the title to make the play draw well.
Scene 1: Curtain rises to terrific snow-storm. Thermometer 906 degrees below faro—zero. Heroine, as poor flower-girl, enters in an automobile; bunch of violets in each hand, bunch of roses in another, while with the other she holds herself—erect. She wears a beautiful sealskin coat, and a sad smile, for her parents have only five million dollars apiece and no coal, and she has to helpsupport the family by selling violets and daffodils at so much per daffi.
“Fresh violets! Fresh roasted violets!” she cries. Enter chorus and sing song in answer to The Maiden’s Prayer.
Exit chorus, enter villain, an icy smile on his face. Can you blame it?
“I have come to ask you for your hand.”
“I have only two. I have none to spare—I need them both!” the maiden cries.
“O, car-r-ses! car-r-ses! and once again car-r-ses! Can nothing thaw you?” the villain thus speaks.
“You are a bum actor. I cannot give you a hand. I can only give you the frozen face.”
“Filed—foiled! in act first, but watch my smoke in act two.” Curtain, VERY quick curtain.
Scene 2: Same as in Act I, only more so.
The snow is still snowing. Nothing is heard but the howling of the audience—howling of the wind. Enter the villain and Mickey the Mouse. Villain bribes The Mouse to kidnap the heroine, tie her to the cold, cold snow,go down to the river, bring it back, and make the heroine take a cold plunge—to death.
Mickey the Mouse accepts. Enter Chasem Cheese, the brave detective. He has been on the trail of the mouse so long that he has grown stale.
The Mouse smells Mr. Cheese. Exit The Mouse. Cheese follows closely, still strong on the scent.
Heroine enters.
“Hot roses! Red-hot roses! Please buy my roses!”
Enter The Mouse. Womanlike, she screams at sight of The Mouse. He seizes her and is just about to splash her into the river, which the property-man has just pushed on. She begs him not to throw her into the cold, cold water, but to wait until it’s warmer. “You had a mother once,” she cries.
He did happen to have a mother once, and he relents; he waits until the ice thaws, then he throws her in.
She is about to swallow the river, when the hero comes on and does a song and dance. One more swallow and the riverwould vanish forever, but the hero does not wait. He plunges in and gets his feet wet—all for the love of her.
“Shaved—saved!” she cries; “you have saved my golden hair from being lost forever!”
O, joy! exceeding joy! Exit sorrow until act third.
Scene 1: Home of the poor flower-girl, on Fifth Avenue, New York.
Heroine discovered in boudoir of her wretched million-dollar residence. Enter French maid with card.
“’Tis he!” the heroine screams—“my brave hair-restorer!”
She glides down the marble staircase; she would have done a two-step, but the glide is more fashionable.
There is no handle on the front door, so she opens it with a glad smile.
The hero walks in upon her invitation; she seats herself upon his entering, and, with a scream, faints upon his departure.
Again quick curtain.
ACT IV
Scene 1: Same as Act III.
Heroine discovered in a pensive mood and an expensive gown.
Enter villain without knocking. He is no “knocker,” though he be a villain.
“I have come for me answer!”
“Will you have it wrapped up?” she answers, a la Siegel-Cooper, and, seizing a glass of wine, she dashes it in the villain’s face.
“Car-r-se the luck!” he yells. “The drinks are on me.”
Slow curtain to give the villain time to put on dry clothes for Act V.
Now, instead of an elapse of nine years between acts four and five, I have written the play in nine acts. That ought to prove an innovation.
Between acts seven and eight another innovation: coffee and rolls will be served. The ushers will pass hot coffee and the curtain will come down with a roll.
Between acts eight and nine morning paperswill be distributed, and the milkmen will be admitted free.
Now comes Act V.
Scene: Home of The Mouse.
He is discovered trying to get into the ice-box for something to eat.
Enter Chasem Cheese, the brave detective.
The Mouse is surprised at the entrance of Cheese.
Desperate struggle.
The Mouse seizes a keg of gunpowder, hurls it at Cheese and blows him into a thousand pieces.
But Cheese will not give up.
Startling and thrilling climax:
A piece of Cheese chases The Mouse off the stage to quick music.
That’s as far as I can get. That finish to Act V is so strong I don’t know what to do for the other four acts.
A piece of cheese chasing a mouse has got anything beat that I ever heard of in a drama.