IF I WERE A COOTIE
If I were a cootie (pro-Ally, of course),I’d hie me away on a Potsdam-bound horse,And I’d seek out the Kaiser (the war-maddened cuss),And I’d be a bum cootie if I didn’t mussHis Imperial hide from his head to his toe!He might hide from the bombs, but I’d give him no show!If I were a cootie, I’d deem it my dutyTo thus treat the Kaiser,Ah, oui.And after I’d thoroughly covered Bill’s area,I’d hasten away to the Prince of Bavaria,And chew him a round or two—under the Linden—Then pack up my things and set out for old Hinden—(Old Hindy’s the guy always talking ’bout strafing)—To think what I’d do to that bird sets me laughing!If I were a cootie, I’d deem it my dutyTo thus threat the Prince and old Hindy,Ah, oui!I’d ne’er get fed up on Imperial gore—I might rest for a while, but I’d go back for more.I’d spend a few days with that Austrian crew,And young Carl himself I’d put down for a chew;There’d be no meatless days for this cootie, I know,They’d all get one jolly good strafing or so.For if I were a cootie, I’d deem it my dutyTo thus treat their damnships,Ah, oui!A. P. Bowen, Sgt., R.T.O.
If I were a cootie (pro-Ally, of course),I’d hie me away on a Potsdam-bound horse,And I’d seek out the Kaiser (the war-maddened cuss),And I’d be a bum cootie if I didn’t mussHis Imperial hide from his head to his toe!He might hide from the bombs, but I’d give him no show!If I were a cootie, I’d deem it my dutyTo thus treat the Kaiser,Ah, oui.And after I’d thoroughly covered Bill’s area,I’d hasten away to the Prince of Bavaria,And chew him a round or two—under the Linden—Then pack up my things and set out for old Hinden—(Old Hindy’s the guy always talking ’bout strafing)—To think what I’d do to that bird sets me laughing!If I were a cootie, I’d deem it my dutyTo thus threat the Prince and old Hindy,Ah, oui!I’d ne’er get fed up on Imperial gore—I might rest for a while, but I’d go back for more.I’d spend a few days with that Austrian crew,And young Carl himself I’d put down for a chew;There’d be no meatless days for this cootie, I know,They’d all get one jolly good strafing or so.For if I were a cootie, I’d deem it my dutyTo thus treat their damnships,Ah, oui!A. P. Bowen, Sgt., R.T.O.
If I were a cootie (pro-Ally, of course),I’d hie me away on a Potsdam-bound horse,And I’d seek out the Kaiser (the war-maddened cuss),And I’d be a bum cootie if I didn’t mussHis Imperial hide from his head to his toe!He might hide from the bombs, but I’d give him no show!If I were a cootie, I’d deem it my dutyTo thus treat the Kaiser,Ah, oui.
If I were a cootie (pro-Ally, of course),
I’d hie me away on a Potsdam-bound horse,
And I’d seek out the Kaiser (the war-maddened cuss),
And I’d be a bum cootie if I didn’t muss
His Imperial hide from his head to his toe!
He might hide from the bombs, but I’d give him no show!
If I were a cootie, I’d deem it my duty
To thus treat the Kaiser,
Ah, oui.
And after I’d thoroughly covered Bill’s area,I’d hasten away to the Prince of Bavaria,And chew him a round or two—under the Linden—Then pack up my things and set out for old Hinden—(Old Hindy’s the guy always talking ’bout strafing)—To think what I’d do to that bird sets me laughing!If I were a cootie, I’d deem it my dutyTo thus threat the Prince and old Hindy,Ah, oui!
And after I’d thoroughly covered Bill’s area,
I’d hasten away to the Prince of Bavaria,
And chew him a round or two—under the Linden—
Then pack up my things and set out for old Hinden—
(Old Hindy’s the guy always talking ’bout strafing)—
To think what I’d do to that bird sets me laughing!
If I were a cootie, I’d deem it my duty
To thus threat the Prince and old Hindy,
Ah, oui!
I’d ne’er get fed up on Imperial gore—I might rest for a while, but I’d go back for more.I’d spend a few days with that Austrian crew,And young Carl himself I’d put down for a chew;There’d be no meatless days for this cootie, I know,They’d all get one jolly good strafing or so.For if I were a cootie, I’d deem it my dutyTo thus treat their damnships,Ah, oui!A. P. Bowen, Sgt., R.T.O.
I’d ne’er get fed up on Imperial gore—
I might rest for a while, but I’d go back for more.
I’d spend a few days with that Austrian crew,
And young Carl himself I’d put down for a chew;
There’d be no meatless days for this cootie, I know,
They’d all get one jolly good strafing or so.
For if I were a cootie, I’d deem it my duty
To thus treat their damnships,
Ah, oui!
A. P. Bowen, Sgt., R.T.O.