Chapter 11

A noble Peer has absolutely given directions to his Solicitor to commence a Prosecution against the Author of the Poem called,The Minister of State, a Satire, as a most licentious and libellous composition.—The writer, no doubt, merits a severer censure of the Law than any of his brethren, because instead of employing thosegreat talents for poetry and satire for which he is so deservedly celebrated[what does he not deserve for his effrontery?] in the service of Virtue and his Country, he hasbasely[basely enough!] prostituted them to the unworthy purpose of defaming, lampooning and abusing some of the greatest characters in this Kingdom. [All a puff to excite curiosity.] We think thisliterary Luminary, of the age [this illiterate farthing candle!] should pay a greater deference to the words of his predecessor Mr Pope:“Curs’d be the verse, how smooth soe’er it flow,” etc.[We doubt, however, if any of thishonestgentleman’s readers will think his verses worth a curse, whatever they may think he deserves for his impudence.]

“Curs’d be the verse, how smooth soe’er it flow,” etc.

[We doubt, however, if any of thishonestgentleman’s readers will think his verses worth a curse, whatever they may think he deserves for his impudence.]

This energetic effort on the part of theReviewto prevent undue reputations being made by disguised advertisements, had little effect in checking an evil which flourishes unto this day—which will, in fact, flourish as long as a majority exist ready to believe anything they are told, and to be more than usually prompt with their credulity when what they are told is more than usually wrong. The next notification we select is from theBritish Chronicleof January 4-6, 1762,and is of a literary character also, though, judging by the motto adopted, the work is more likely to produce melancholy thanamusement:—

This day are published, Price 1s.,THESongs of Selma, attempted in English verse, from the original of Ossian, the son of Fingal. . . . .Quis talia fando Tempenet a lacrymis?. . . . Printed for R. Griffiths, opposite Somerset House in the Strand; C. Henderson, at the Royal Exchange; and G. Woodfall, Charing Cross.

This day are published, Price 1s.,

THESongs of Selma, attempted in English verse, from the original of Ossian, the son of Fingal. . . . .Quis talia fando Tempenet a lacrymis?. . . . Printed for R. Griffiths, opposite Somerset House in the Strand; C. Henderson, at the Royal Exchange; and G. Woodfall, Charing Cross.

How many books of this kind have been published, thrown aside, and forgotten, or consigned to the pastrycook and trunkmaker, since the “Songs of Selma” saw the light, is a question easier to ask than to solve. One thing is, though, certain—the number of people who will write, whether they have anything to say or not, increases every year, and in due course we may expect an ingenious Chancellor of the Exchequer to impose a tax on authors; which, after all, will hardly, so far as brilliancy is concerned, be so destructive as the window-tax, or so uncalled for as Mr Robert Lowe’s famous “ex luce lucellum” imposition. A couple of weeks later, in the same paper (January 18-20), is the following of a very different character from that which has been alreadyselected:—

READING MACHINEISremoved from the Three Kings, Piccadilly, to the George Inn, Snow Hill, London; sets out from theBroad Face, Reading, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, at seven o’clock in the morning, and from theGeorge Inn, Snow Hill, every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, at seven o’clock in the morning; carries passengers to and from Reading at 6s. each, children in lap, and outside passengers at 3s.Performed byThomas MooreandRichard Mapleton.N.B.—Takes no charge of Writings, Money, Watches, or Jewels, unless entered and paid for as such.

READING MACHINE

ISremoved from the Three Kings, Piccadilly, to the George Inn, Snow Hill, London; sets out from theBroad Face, Reading, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, at seven o’clock in the morning, and from theGeorge Inn, Snow Hill, every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, at seven o’clock in the morning; carries passengers to and from Reading at 6s. each, children in lap, and outside passengers at 3s.

Performed byThomas MooreandRichard Mapleton.

Performed by

Thomas MooreandRichard Mapleton.

N.B.—Takes no charge of Writings, Money, Watches, or Jewels, unless entered and paid for as such.

This machine was evidently a nondescript, partly slow coach, partly waggon, and was extremely reasonable in its rates if it journeyed at any pace, seeing that outside passengers paid no more than present Parliamentary rates,while the insides had no occasion to complain of excessive expenditure. But fancy the journey at seven o’clock on a January morning, with the knowledge that no brisk motion would keep the blood in circulation, that the roads were heavy, the weather indifferent, the society worse, the conversation, if any, very heavy, and the purse proportionally light! Such a company as Roderick Random and Strap fell in with in the waggon, must often have been seen on the outside of the Reading Machine. In the same paper of January 20-22, we find the advertisement of a pamphlet issued for the gratification of a morbid taste which has its representative nowadays—though, by the way, there is more excuse for a little excitement over murder and execution now than there was in the days when every week saw its batch of criminals led forth to take their final dance uponnothing:—

This day was published, price 1s.,SOMEauthentic particulars of the life of John Macnaghton, Esq., of Ben ——, who was executed in Ireland, on tuesday the 25th day of December, for the Murder of Miss Mary Anne Knox, the only daughter of Andrew Knox, Esq., of Prehen, representative in the late and present Parliament for the county of Donegal. With a full account of his pretended Connexion with the young Lady; of the measures he took to seize her person previous to the Murder; the circumstances of that fact; the manner of his being apprehended; and his conduct and behaviour from that time till his Death. Compiled from papers communicated by a gentleman in Ireland, to a person of distinction of that Kingdom now residing here.Printed for H. Payne & W. Croply, at Dryden’s Head in Paternoster Row.

This day was published, price 1s.,

SOMEauthentic particulars of the life of John Macnaghton, Esq., of Ben ——, who was executed in Ireland, on tuesday the 25th day of December, for the Murder of Miss Mary Anne Knox, the only daughter of Andrew Knox, Esq., of Prehen, representative in the late and present Parliament for the county of Donegal. With a full account of his pretended Connexion with the young Lady; of the measures he took to seize her person previous to the Murder; the circumstances of that fact; the manner of his being apprehended; and his conduct and behaviour from that time till his Death. Compiled from papers communicated by a gentleman in Ireland, to a person of distinction of that Kingdom now residing here.

Printed for H. Payne & W. Croply, at Dryden’s Head in Paternoster Row.

John Macnaghton, Esq., was a real gentleman criminal, and though food for the halter was plenty in 1762 and thereabouts, gentlemen were “tucked up” still more rarely than within ordinary recollections; for stern as was the law a hundred years ago, it had very merciful consideration for persons of quality, and the hanging of a landed proprietor for a mere paltry murder was a very noticeable event. In theLondon Gazetteof February 23-27, we find a recordof the coronation of their illustrious and sacred Majesties, George and Charlotte, which runsthus:—

Albemarle St.,Feby. 26, 1762.THEGold Medals intended for the Peers and Peeresses who in their robes attended at the Coronation of their Majesties (according to a list obtained from the proper officers) will be delivered at the Earl of Powis’s house in Albemarle Street, on Wednesday and Thursday next, from ten to twelve o’clock each day.It is therefore desired that the Peers and Peeresses, as above mentioned, will send for their Medals; and that the persons who shall be sent for them shall bring Cards, signed by such Peers or Peeresses, as the Medals shall be required for, and sealed with their Arms.

Albemarle St.,Feby. 26, 1762.

THEGold Medals intended for the Peers and Peeresses who in their robes attended at the Coronation of their Majesties (according to a list obtained from the proper officers) will be delivered at the Earl of Powis’s house in Albemarle Street, on Wednesday and Thursday next, from ten to twelve o’clock each day.

It is therefore desired that the Peers and Peeresses, as above mentioned, will send for their Medals; and that the persons who shall be sent for them shall bring Cards, signed by such Peers or Peeresses, as the Medals shall be required for, and sealed with their Arms.

In the same paper we come upon the advertisement of a book which is even now read with interest, though the price at which a modern issue of it is offered is ludicrously small compared with that of the originaledition:—

THISday is published, in small quarto, Price Thirty Shillings, Printed at Strawberry Hill, Anecdotes of Painting in England, with incidental Notes on other Arts. Collected by the late Mr George Vertue, and now first digested and published from his original Manuscripts. By Mr Horace Walpole. Vol. I. and II. With above forty Copper plates, four of which are taken from antient Paintings; the rest, heads of Artists, engraved by Grignion, Muller, Chambers, and Bannerman.To be had of W. Bathoe, Bookseller, in the Strand, near Exeter Exchange.

To be had of W. Bathoe, Bookseller, in the Strand, near Exeter Exchange.

As we have no wish whatever to paint the lily, we will, although the subject is a kindred one, leave Horace Walpole’s book without a fresh criticism to add to the thousand and odd already passed upon it, and will pass on to the land “where the men are all brave and the women all beautiful,” and where, inFaulkner’s Dublin Journal, also of February 1762, we come upon the cry of a young man for his mother. In the advertisement is the nucleus of a story quite equal to “Tom Jones,” provided, of course, that its author possessed the fancy of a Fielding. We are not aware of any literary gentleman who would succeed, though we are acquainted with plenty who would most confidently make the attempt;their only doubt, if doubt possessed them at all, being not in their own powers, but in the discernment of the reading public. To them, therefore, we present the groundwork of a story which would naturally enlist the sympathies of England and Ireland. A little might also be thrown in for the benefit of Scotland, which would hardly like to be left out of so fascinating aromance:—

WHEREASa lady who called herself a native of Ireland was in England in the year 1740, and resided some time at a certain village near Bath, where she was delivered of a son, whom she left with a sum of money under the care of a person in the same parish, and promised to fetch him at a certain age, but has not since been heard of; now this is to desire the lady, if living, and this should be so fortunate as to be seen by her, to send a letter, directed to T. E. to be left at the Chapter Coffee house, St Paul’s Churchyard, London, wherein she is desired to give an account of herself, and her reasons for concealing this affair: or if the lady should be dead, and any person is privy to the affair, they are likewise desired to direct as above.—N.B.This advertisement is published by the person himself, not from motives of necessity, or to court any assistance (he being, by a series of happy circumstances, possessed of an easy and independent fortune) but with a real desire to know his origin.—P.S.The strictest secrecy may be depended on.

Foundlings seem to have been better off a hundred years ago than now, for in all stories they come out very well, and in this present instance T. E. seems to have been able to help himself. It is not unlikely, however, that some sharp adventurer, knowing how weak is human nature, had hit upon the expedient of attracting maternal sympathies—Bath was a great place at that time for interesting invalids—with a view to a system of extortion. This may, or may not be, and at this distance of time it is useless to speculate. Accordingly we turn once more to theLondon Gazette, and in a number for April 1762 findthis:—

THEfollowing persons being fugitives for debt, and beyond the seas, on or before the twenty-fifth day of October, one thousand seven hundred and sixty, and having surrendered themselves to the Gaolers orKeepers of the respective Prisons or Gaols hereafter mentioned, do hereby give notice, that they intend to take the benefit of an Act of Parliament passed in the first year of the reign of His present Majesty King George the Third, intituledAn Act for relief of Insolvent Debtors, at the next General or Quarter Sessions of the Peace, to be held in and for the County, Riding, Division, City, Town, Liberty or Place, or any adjournment thereof, which shall happen next after thirty days from the first Publication of the undermentioned names, viz.,James Colburn, late of Smith Street, in the parish of St James, in the county of Middlesex, Baker.Fugitive surrendered to the Keeper of Whitechapel Prison, in the County of Middlesex.Second Notice.Charles Watkins, late of the Bankside, in the parish of St Saviour, Southwark, in the county of Surrey, Waterman.Fugitive surrendered to the Keeper of the Poultry Compter, in the City of London.Third Notice.James Buckley, formerly of Cock Alley, late of Star Alley, in the Parish of Aldgate, Lower Precinct, London, Cordwainer.

James Colburn, late of Smith Street, in the parish of St James, in the county of Middlesex, Baker.

Fugitive surrendered to the Keeper of Whitechapel Prison, in the County of Middlesex.

Second Notice.

Charles Watkins, late of the Bankside, in the parish of St Saviour, Southwark, in the county of Surrey, Waterman.

Fugitive surrendered to the Keeper of the Poultry Compter, in the City of London.

Third Notice.

James Buckley, formerly of Cock Alley, late of Star Alley, in the Parish of Aldgate, Lower Precinct, London, Cordwainer.

This is one of the first notices given of an intention to take the benefit of an Act that was much wanted. The slowness of people to take advantage of any boon, no matter how priceless, is here once again shown, for there are but three claimants for redemption, two of whom had been published before. By the middle of 1762 the Cock Lane ghost had had its two years’ run and was discovered, and it must have been just about the time of the trial of Parsons and his family—viz., in June—that the following appeared in theBritish Chronicle:—

This day is published, price 6d.ATRUEaccount of the several conversations between the supposed Apparition in Cock Lane, and the Gentlemen who attended. Together with the Death and Funeral of MrsK——,and many other circumstances not made known to the World.Published for the conviction of the incredulous.“I would take the ghost’s word for a thousand pounds.”Hamlet.Printed for E. Cabe, at his Circulating library in Ave Marie lane; and to be had of all Pamphlet shops and News carriers.

This day is published, price 6d.

ATRUEaccount of the several conversations between the supposed Apparition in Cock Lane, and the Gentlemen who attended. Together with the Death and Funeral of MrsK——,and many other circumstances not made known to the World.

Published for the conviction of the incredulous.

“I would take the ghost’s word for a thousand pounds.”Hamlet.

Printed for E. Cabe, at his Circulating library in Ave Marie lane; and to be had of all Pamphlet shops and News carriers.

It is hard to tell whether the writer is in favour of the ghost’s existence or not from the advertisement, for while he in one breath speaks of the supposed apparition, he immediately afterwards refers to the incredulous, and quotes no less an authority than Shakespeare in support of the imposition. Doubtless this was a trick to secure the purchase-money, if not the support, of the partisans of both sides. Next, in the same paper, we come upon a notice of the post-office in reference to the foreign mails of that day, which runsthus:—

General Post Office,Aug. 8, 1762.PUBLICNotice is hereby given to all persons corresponding with His Majesty’s island of Belleisle, that Letters for the future will be regularly forwarded from Plymouth to and from that Island, by two Vessels, lately hired and appointed for that purpose.By Order of the Postmaster-General,Henry Potts,Secretary.

General Post Office,Aug. 8, 1762.

PUBLICNotice is hereby given to all persons corresponding with His Majesty’s island of Belleisle, that Letters for the future will be regularly forwarded from Plymouth to and from that Island, by two Vessels, lately hired and appointed for that purpose.

By Order of the Postmaster-General,

Henry Potts,Secretary.

The mail service across the Atlantic was somewhat different in 1762 from what it is now, when a continuous stream of letters is every day poured forth, either by way of Liverpool or by means of the later delivery at Queenstown. Soldiers seem to have been shorter, too, not only in height but in quantity, about this time, if the evidence of an advertisement of January 1, 1763, is to be taken. We are still quoting from theBritish Chronicle, and shall continue to do so until another journal isnamed:—

THERoyal Regiment of Horse Guards, commanded by the Right Honourable the Marquis of Granby, is willing to entertain any young Man under 23 years of age, having a good Character, strait and well made, in height from five feet ten, to six feet one inch. Apply to Quarter MasterCampbell, at the Market Coffee House, Mayfair.

From the same copy we take another notice, which shows that the executors of Mr Ward not only considered it their duty to get rid of his stock at the best possible advantage, but also to continue a defence of the business which hadbeen instituted by the late proprietor against the attacks of an impostor. The reason they give for the republication is curious, unless they fancied its omission would trouble the spirit of the late compounder ofdrugs:—

THElate Joshua Ward of Whitehall, Esq., having left very considerable quantities of his principal Medicines ready prepared, such and such only as may be applied for by name, will be delivered at his late dwelling-house in Whitehall.As not the least pretence is made by us, of having any judgment in the application of Medicine, we presume to say no more than that the specified orders shall be delivered with the utmost care and fidelity.—Ralph Ward, Thomas Ward, Executors.As the following was published by the late Mr Ward it is necessary to adjoin the same.—“Having seen in the public papers that a woman servant discharged from my service advertises herself as (late) my housekeeper and assistant in preparing my medicines. It is a justice I owe the public and myself, to declare, that this woman was hired and lived with me as, and at the wages of a common working servant, keeping no other. And as to what knowledge she may have in preparing my medicines, every living servant in my family, with the same propriety, may pretend to it, being all assistants to me by their manual labour. Signed—Joshua Ward.”

As not the least pretence is made by us, of having any judgment in the application of Medicine, we presume to say no more than that the specified orders shall be delivered with the utmost care and fidelity.—Ralph Ward, Thomas Ward, Executors.

As the following was published by the late Mr Ward it is necessary to adjoin the same.—“Having seen in the public papers that a woman servant discharged from my service advertises herself as (late) my housekeeper and assistant in preparing my medicines. It is a justice I owe the public and myself, to declare, that this woman was hired and lived with me as, and at the wages of a common working servant, keeping no other. And as to what knowledge she may have in preparing my medicines, every living servant in my family, with the same propriety, may pretend to it, being all assistants to me by their manual labour. Signed—Joshua Ward.”

Soon after this, February 10-12, comes an announcement which must have filled the lady readers of theChronicle—for ladies ever loved bargains—with anxiety and their husbands with terror. The last paragraph shows that the warehouseman knew well how to bait his trap for the unwary:-

A REAL SALE OF SILKSATthe Coventry Cross, Chandos Street, Covent Garden. Consisting of a very great assortment of Rich brocades, Tissues, flowered and plain Sattins, Tabbies, Ducapes, black Armozeens, Rasdumores, Mantuas, &c. Being purchased of the executors of an eminent weaver and factor, deceased, and of another left off trade.Merchants, &c., may be supplied with rich Silks fit for exportation, fresh and fine patterns, greatly under prime cost, for ready money only, the price marked on each piece.It is hoped Ladies will not be offended that they cannot possibly be waited on at their own Houses.

A REAL SALE OF SILKS

ATthe Coventry Cross, Chandos Street, Covent Garden. Consisting of a very great assortment of Rich brocades, Tissues, flowered and plain Sattins, Tabbies, Ducapes, black Armozeens, Rasdumores, Mantuas, &c. Being purchased of the executors of an eminent weaver and factor, deceased, and of another left off trade.

Merchants, &c., may be supplied with rich Silks fit for exportation, fresh and fine patterns, greatly under prime cost, for ready money only, the price marked on each piece.

It is hoped Ladies will not be offended that they cannot possibly be waited on at their own Houses.

Within a very short period, little more than a week, we come across an advertisement which we admit fairly puzzles us. We are certainly far more able to believe that the precious balsam does all that is promised for it, than we are to understand the reason for its having but one title. It runsthus:—

WARHAM’SApoplectic Balsam, so well known as an excellent remedy against Fits, Convulsions, &c., cures Deafness, bad Humours in the Eyes, inward Bruises, dissolves hard Lumps in the Breast, and has often cured Cancers, as can be proved by Facts; is a sovereign salve for green Wounds, Burns, &c. Is prepared and sold only by W. Strode, at the Golden Ball, Tottenham Court Road, London.Who also prepares and sells Warham’s Cephalick Snuff, of a most grateful smell, and an effectual remedy for giddiness, nervous pains in the Head, &c.Also Warham’s excellent Mouth water, which certainly cures the toothache, strengthens and preserves the Teeth, takes off all smells proceeding from bad Teeth, &c.

Who also prepares and sells Warham’s Cephalick Snuff, of a most grateful smell, and an effectual remedy for giddiness, nervous pains in the Head, &c.

Also Warham’s excellent Mouth water, which certainly cures the toothache, strengthens and preserves the Teeth, takes off all smells proceeding from bad Teeth, &c.

In a number for February 26 to March 1, 1764, there is an announcement of one of those dinners without which no English charity ever has succeeded, or, so long as English nature remains as it is, ever will succeed without. It is noticeable for various reasons, and especially for the notices of “Mr” Handel and the airing of thehall:—

MAGDALEN HOUSE CHARITY.Prescot Street, Goodman’s Fields, Feb. 10, 1764.THEAnniversary Feast of the Governors of this Charity will be held on Thursday the 18th of March next, at Drapers-Hall, in Throgmorton Street, after a sermon to be preached at the Parish Church of St George, Hanover Square, before the Right Honourable the Earl of Hertford, President; the Vice-Presidents; Treasurer and Governor of this Charity; by the Rev. William Dodd, A.M., Chaplain to the Bishop of St David’s.Prayers will begin at eleven o’clock precisely, and Dinner will be on table at Three o’clock.Stewards.The Right Hon. Lord Viscount Spencer.The Right Hon. Lord Scarsdale.Joseph Martin, Esq.John Weyland, Esq.John Barker, Esq.John Eddows, Esq.John Smith, Esq.Jacob Wilkinson, Esq.John Lefevre, Esq.Jacob Bosanquet, Esq.N.B.—A Te Deum, composed by Mr Handel for the late Duke of Chandos’s Chapel, with Jubilate and other Anthems, will be performed by Mr Beard, and a proper Band of the best performers, both vocal and instrumental.The Hall will be properly aired.Tickets for the Feast may be had at the following places, at five shillings each, viz., Mr Winterbottom’s, the Secretary, in Old Broad Street, and at the following Coffee-Houses; Arthur’s, in St James’s Street; Mount’s, Grosvenor Square; Tom’s, in Devereux Court; Richard’s, in Fleet Street; Tom’s, John’s, and Batoon’s, in Cornhill; and Waghorn’s, at the Court of Requests.Two ladies Tickets for the Church will be givenwith each Feast Ticket.

MAGDALEN HOUSE CHARITY.Prescot Street, Goodman’s Fields, Feb. 10, 1764.

THEAnniversary Feast of the Governors of this Charity will be held on Thursday the 18th of March next, at Drapers-Hall, in Throgmorton Street, after a sermon to be preached at the Parish Church of St George, Hanover Square, before the Right Honourable the Earl of Hertford, President; the Vice-Presidents; Treasurer and Governor of this Charity; by the Rev. William Dodd, A.M., Chaplain to the Bishop of St David’s.

Prayers will begin at eleven o’clock precisely, and Dinner will be on table at Three o’clock.

Stewards.The Right Hon. Lord Viscount Spencer.The Right Hon. Lord Scarsdale.

Joseph Martin, Esq.John Weyland, Esq.John Barker, Esq.John Eddows, Esq.John Smith, Esq.Jacob Wilkinson, Esq.John Lefevre, Esq.Jacob Bosanquet, Esq.

Joseph Martin, Esq.John Weyland, Esq.John Barker, Esq.John Eddows, Esq.

John Smith, Esq.Jacob Wilkinson, Esq.John Lefevre, Esq.Jacob Bosanquet, Esq.

N.B.—A Te Deum, composed by Mr Handel for the late Duke of Chandos’s Chapel, with Jubilate and other Anthems, will be performed by Mr Beard, and a proper Band of the best performers, both vocal and instrumental.

The Hall will be properly aired.

Tickets for the Feast may be had at the following places, at five shillings each, viz., Mr Winterbottom’s, the Secretary, in Old Broad Street, and at the following Coffee-Houses; Arthur’s, in St James’s Street; Mount’s, Grosvenor Square; Tom’s, in Devereux Court; Richard’s, in Fleet Street; Tom’s, John’s, and Batoon’s, in Cornhill; and Waghorn’s, at the Court of Requests.

Two ladies Tickets for the Church will be givenwith each Feast Ticket.

Mr Gibson, whose advertisement appears in the edition for April 5-7, 1764, would have been invaluable to Julia Pastrana and the Bearded Lady, while his aid would have been equally in demand among those anxious to cover themselves with the glory of hirsute appendages. Unfortunately for him, moustaches and beards were not then in demand, nor was baldness so noticeable as now; but the request for his beautifying paste doubtless compensated him for otherneglects:—

A CARD TO THE LADIES.MRGIBSON’S Innocent Composition, so greatly admired for its wonderful effects, in removing by the Roots in half a minute, the most strong Hair growing in any part of the Head or Face, without the least hurt to the finest Skin of Ladies or Children; he sells this useful composition at 5s. an ounce, with such full directions that any Person may use it themselves.Also his curious Preparation for coaxing Hair to grow on bald Parts when worn off by illness, it being allowed by many who have tried many approved remedies, to fully answer the desired Purpose.Likewise his Beautifying Paste for the Face, Neck, and Hands, so well known to the Ladies for giving a true Enamel to the Skin; in pots at 10s. 6d. In lesser pots at 5s. each. The above things to be had of him and nowhere else in England, next door to the Golden Star in Lower Cross Street, Hatton Garden, Holborn.—No less a quantity of the composition can be had than one Ounce, nor of the preparation or paste than one Pot.N.B.—Gibson in gold Letters over the Door.

A CARD TO THE LADIES.

MRGIBSON’S Innocent Composition, so greatly admired for its wonderful effects, in removing by the Roots in half a minute, the most strong Hair growing in any part of the Head or Face, without the least hurt to the finest Skin of Ladies or Children; he sells this useful composition at 5s. an ounce, with such full directions that any Person may use it themselves.

Also his curious Preparation for coaxing Hair to grow on bald Parts when worn off by illness, it being allowed by many who have tried many approved remedies, to fully answer the desired Purpose.

Likewise his Beautifying Paste for the Face, Neck, and Hands, so well known to the Ladies for giving a true Enamel to the Skin; in pots at 10s. 6d. In lesser pots at 5s. each. The above things to be had of him and nowhere else in England, next door to the Golden Star in Lower Cross Street, Hatton Garden, Holborn.—No less a quantity of the composition can be had than one Ounce, nor of the preparation or paste than one Pot.

N.B.—Gibson in gold Letters over the Door.

That the practice of inserting “dummy” advertisements for the purpose of drawing others had been adopted before this, is shown by a caution inserted in thePublic Advertiserof January 1, 1765, though why theatrical managers should have objected to gratuitous publicity we cannot understand. Misrepresentation of the title of a play to be performed would rarely act detrimentally, while it would often be beneficial. Managers of the present day never object to anything but adverse criticism in a newspaper, and this affects them in various ways. Critics may be as favourable as they like, but let them condemn a piece and they raise a storm not easily allayed. The managerial feeling is then shown at once. Sometimes the advertisement of the theatre is summarily stopped, at others the usual first-night privilege is suspended, and not rarely of late years letters have been written and published showing how utterly biassed the criticism has been. But not one of the whole theatrical fraternity ever objects to a gratuitous advertisement. Even a man who comes on with a message likes it, though he in common with all the outsiders of “the profession” affects to despise criticism, and will, on the slightest provocation, speak about well-known writers for the press in a most contemptuous manner. But here is theadvertisement:—

THEManagers of Drury Lane think it proper to give notice that Advertisements of their Plays by their authority are published only in this Paper and theDaily Courant, and that the Publishers of all other Papers who presume to insert Advertisements of the same Plays, can do it only by some surreptitious intelligence or hearsaywhich frequently leads them to commit gross Errors, as mentioning one Play for another, falsely representing the Parts, etc. to the misinformation of the Town and the great detriment of the said Theatre.

As different in style as it is distant in date and place of publication is the next item which attracts our attention. It looks suspiciously like a hoax, for though other Newcastle papers of the time have been rigorously searched, no news is discovered of Mrs Bell having shared the fate which is said to overtake all who pry unduly into the secrets of the Craft for the purpose of making capital out of their information. The advertisement appears in theNewcastle Courantof January 4, 1770, and runs asfollows:—

THISis to acquaint the Public, That on Monday the first instant, being the Lodge (or Monthly Meeting) night of the Free and Accepted Masons of the 22d Regiment, held at the Crown, near Newgate (Newcastle) Mrs Bell, the Landlady of the House, broke open a Door (with a Poker) that had not been opened for some Years past, by which means she got into an adjacent Room, made two Holes through the Wall, and by that stratagem discovered the secrets of Masonry; and she, knowing herself to be the first Woman in the World that ever found out the Secret, is willing to make it known to all her Sex. So any Lady who is desirous of learning the Secrets of Free Masonry, by applying to that well-learned Woman (Mrs Bell that lived 15 years in and about Newgate) may be instructed in all the Secrets of Masonry.

Coming back to London again, we find the following announcement published in more papers than one. It is well worthy of perusal, as giving a picture of the loneliness of Chelsea and its approaches a hundred years ago, when it was a little outlying village, and when the whole duty of a watchman was to evade by any and every means in his power, contact with footpads, “high tobymen,” orburglars:—

Chelsea, Middlesex, Feb. 20, 1770.THEInhabitants of the Parish of Chelsea, being desirous to prevent, as far as in them lies, any Robberies or Felonies being committed in the said Parish, do hereby give Notice, that they haveentered into a Subscription, for a Reward for the Discovery of Robberies or Felonies, and have therefore paid into the Hands of Mr Edward Anderson, of Chelsea aforesaid, as Treasurer, a Sum of Money to answer the several Purposes hereafter mentioned, to such Person or Persons who shall, during the Space of one whole Year from the Date hereof, apprehend or take any Offender or Offenders, as are herein after described, the several and respective Rewards hereafter mentioned, in fourteen Days after Conviction, over and above what such Person or Persons may be entitled unto by such Apprehending and Conviction by any Law now in Being.For every Robbery that shall be committed by any Highwayman or Highwaymen, Footpad or Footpads, within the said Parish (except that Part of the Parish and Road leading from London to Harrow on the Hill, which belongs to the said Parish), the Sum of Ten Pounds.For any Person or Persons who shall break into the Dwelling House of any Subscriber, or send any Incendiary Letter to any Subscriber, the Sum of Ten Pounds.For any Person or Persons who shall steal any Horse, Mare, Colt, or other Cattle, belonging to a Subscriber, or commit any Thefts or Robberies in any of their Outhouses, the Sum of Five Pounds.For every Theft or Robbery that shall be committed in any Garden, Garden-Grounds, or Fields, Orchard, Court Yard, Backside or Fish-ponds, or any Barge or Craft lying ashore, belonging to any of the Subscribers, or shall steal any of their Fruit, Poultry, Fish, Linen, Lead, Iron-Gates, or Gate-Hinges, Pales, or Fences, the Sum of Forty Shillings.And the Subscribers do hereby promise to pay and discharge the whole, or such Part of the Expence of such Prosecution or Prosecutions of the several Offences above-mentioned, as upon Application to any five or more of the Subscribers, at a Meeting called for that Purpose, shall judge reasonable.And for the farther Encouragement of all and every the Person and Persons who shall apprehend and convict any Offender or Offenders in any of the Offences aforesaid, the said Subscribers do hereby promise to use their Endeavours for procuring the speedy Payment of such Reward as such Person or Persons may be entitled to by any Law now in Being.And the said Subscribers do farther promise and agree, That if any Offenders shall, before his or her own Apprehension for any of the Offences aforesaid, voluntarily discover, or apprehend any of his or her Accomplices, so as he, she, or they, be convicted thereof, such Person so apprehending as aforesaid, shall be entitled to, and have such Reward or Sums of Money as before provided for apprehending and taking the said several Offenders as aforesaid, upon Conviction.

Chelsea, Middlesex, Feb. 20, 1770.

THEInhabitants of the Parish of Chelsea, being desirous to prevent, as far as in them lies, any Robberies or Felonies being committed in the said Parish, do hereby give Notice, that they haveentered into a Subscription, for a Reward for the Discovery of Robberies or Felonies, and have therefore paid into the Hands of Mr Edward Anderson, of Chelsea aforesaid, as Treasurer, a Sum of Money to answer the several Purposes hereafter mentioned, to such Person or Persons who shall, during the Space of one whole Year from the Date hereof, apprehend or take any Offender or Offenders, as are herein after described, the several and respective Rewards hereafter mentioned, in fourteen Days after Conviction, over and above what such Person or Persons may be entitled unto by such Apprehending and Conviction by any Law now in Being.

For every Robbery that shall be committed by any Highwayman or Highwaymen, Footpad or Footpads, within the said Parish (except that Part of the Parish and Road leading from London to Harrow on the Hill, which belongs to the said Parish), the Sum of Ten Pounds.

For any Person or Persons who shall break into the Dwelling House of any Subscriber, or send any Incendiary Letter to any Subscriber, the Sum of Ten Pounds.

For any Person or Persons who shall steal any Horse, Mare, Colt, or other Cattle, belonging to a Subscriber, or commit any Thefts or Robberies in any of their Outhouses, the Sum of Five Pounds.

For every Theft or Robbery that shall be committed in any Garden, Garden-Grounds, or Fields, Orchard, Court Yard, Backside or Fish-ponds, or any Barge or Craft lying ashore, belonging to any of the Subscribers, or shall steal any of their Fruit, Poultry, Fish, Linen, Lead, Iron-Gates, or Gate-Hinges, Pales, or Fences, the Sum of Forty Shillings.

And the Subscribers do hereby promise to pay and discharge the whole, or such Part of the Expence of such Prosecution or Prosecutions of the several Offences above-mentioned, as upon Application to any five or more of the Subscribers, at a Meeting called for that Purpose, shall judge reasonable.

And for the farther Encouragement of all and every the Person and Persons who shall apprehend and convict any Offender or Offenders in any of the Offences aforesaid, the said Subscribers do hereby promise to use their Endeavours for procuring the speedy Payment of such Reward as such Person or Persons may be entitled to by any Law now in Being.

And the said Subscribers do farther promise and agree, That if any Offenders shall, before his or her own Apprehension for any of the Offences aforesaid, voluntarily discover, or apprehend any of his or her Accomplices, so as he, she, or they, be convicted thereof, such Person so apprehending as aforesaid, shall be entitled to, and have such Reward or Sums of Money as before provided for apprehending and taking the said several Offenders as aforesaid, upon Conviction.

The popularity of theDaily CourantandPublic Advertiserwith the managers of Drury Lane Theatre seems to have come to a sudden end in 1771, probably for the reasons we have noticed as affecting modern managerial bosoms, for in theDaily Postthisappears:—

TOprevent any Mistake in future in advertising the Plays and entertainments of Drury Lane Theatre, the Managers think it proper to declare that the Playbills are inserted by their direction in this Paper only.

TheSt James’s Chronicle(a weekly paper which is still alive, and as strong in its Toryism as ever), in July 1772, contains an advertisement which for coolness and audacity is very noticeable, even at a time when requests were put forth in the columns of the public press with most unblushingeffrontery:—

WANTEDimmediately, Fifteen Hundred or Two Thousand Pounds by a person not worth a Groat, who having neither Houses, Lands, Annuities or public Funds, can offer no other Security than that of simple Bond, bearing simple interest and engaging the Repayment of the Sum borrowed in five, six or seven Years, as may be agreed upon by the Parties. Whoever this may suit (for it is hoped it will suit somebody) by directing a line to A. Z. in Rochester, shall be immediately replied to or waited on, as may appear necessary.

Benevolence must have been very strongly developed in any one who acceded to the requests of A. Z. But that there was a deal of that commodity afloat at the time of which we are writing, our next specimen, one of disinterestedness and charity, shows. It is from theGazetteerof November 29,1773:—

ALADYof strict Honour and Benevolence, who lives in a genteel sphere of Life, influenced by a variety of critical Circumstances, offers her Service as an Advocate to Persons under the most intricate Circumstances, especially to those of her own Sex, whose Troubles she can with a secret Sympathy share, and who will point out certain Means of alleviating their Distress. The Advertiser has a Genteel House to accommodate such Persons, while their Affairs are settled. The greatestDelicacy, Discretion, and most Inviolable Secrecy may be depended on. Therefore to prevent being made the sport of Curiosity, the Advertiser is determined to answer such Letters only that appear explicit and satisfactory, with the Principal’s Name and Place of Abode. Please to address a line (post paid) for Mrs Gladen, at No. 5 Church Row, Aldgate Church, Whitechapel.

Especially those of her own sex. It would be hard to discover what any one of an opposite gender could want as resident with this nice old lady, unless indeed he wished to put in practice the advice given to Nicodemus. But, as for money this benevolent beldame would have done anything, there is little doubt she had plenty of visitors of both sexes. It does not do, however, to be too hard on Mrs Gladen, when it is considered that she has many highly successful and extremely respectable representatives of the present day. We therefore pass on to the latter part of 1774, when it is evident, from a perusal of the advertisements alone, that a general election is impending. In September we find this in theMorning Post:—

AGENTLEMANof Character and considerable Fortune is extremely desirous of aHigh Honourat an approaching Period. Any one who can assist him, or point out an eligible means of succeeding, shall be amply recompensed both at present and in future.—In short, name your Terms; secrecy is all required on his part. A Line to Mr Dormer, at No. 24 Ludgate Hill, will be attended to.

TheMorning Postseems to have been a particular medium for the process by which legislators were made in the “good old days”—good enough for the rich and unscrupulous, of course—for very shortly afterwards many of the same kind appear. The following stipulates the amount, and with true unselfishness recommends thecandidate:—

AGENTLEMANof Honour, Character, and Fortune, who has £1,500 at his Bankers’, has some desire to obtain a Seat. A connection with him will do no discredit to any Man of Rank, or Body of Men. As he is serious, he expects no Application but from such as are so, to Q. at New Lloyd’s Coffee-house, Cornhill.

One who follows is much more generous, so far as money is concerned, though he lacks the disinterested recommendation of Q. Still as money and not mind is the desideratum among election agents, there is little fear that the chances were in favour of W. W., though doubtless there was room enough found at St Stephen’s for both. Room for two! room for two hundred who had money with which to pave theirway:—

AGENTLEMANof independent fortune is ready to give three Thousand Guineas to be accommodated with a certain purpose to answer the advertiser’s end at this Crisis. Any one inclined to treat about the above, may be further informed by Line, or otherwise, directed for W. W., at George’s Coffee-house, upper end of the Haymarket.

It must not be supposed that the advertisements in reference to the elections emanated only from persons desirous of writing themselves down M.P.’s. There were plenty anxious as well as willing to assist them for a consideration. From many of that time we select one, still taking theMorning Postas ourguide:—

ANYMan of Fortune or Family wishing to enjoy an Honourable Station for seven Years, and to accomplish it without the anxiety which generally accompanies the attaining it by Contention, may probably be accommodated to the utmost of his Wishes, by addressing himself to C. C. to be left at the bar of the Chapter Coffee-house, Paternoster Row, and disclosing his Name, the which he may do without the risk of being divulged, as the advertiser pledges himself that the most inviolable Delicacy and Secrecy will be observed.

We commend the foregoing to the notice of the gentlemen who talk of Conservatism as the bulwark of the nation, and rejoice over any so-called political reaction. However, as Conservatism now means “dishing the Whigs” by the most advanced measures, we can put up with it, and so pass on to another specimen from theMorning Post, which is published at the same time as the foregoing, and is found snugly ensconced among those of quite a differenttendency:—

AYOUNGGentleman of the most liberal education and a genteel Address, would be happy in having an opportunity of devoting his services to a Lady of real fashion and fortune, who may wish to have some particular deficiencies thoroughly supplied, without subjecting herself to any disagreeable restraint. Any lady to whom such an offer may be suitable, will receive the fullest Explanation, in answer to a letter addressed to A. X. Turk’s head Coffee House, Strand.

We will leave this without further comment than the expression of a sad idea that this young gentleman knew what was marketable, as well as a belief that he and others like him may have done much to prevent the titles and fortunes of noblemen and gentlemen who married late in life from passing to remote branches. We have no wish to intrude our opinions, which are strong as our faith in human nature is weak, but the advertisement is only a specimen of many others, and, like its congeners, appears in one of the highest class daily papers of the time. Folk are not so outspoken now as was the fashion a hundred years ago, yet is there any one who will venture to state that we are more virtuous? It will be the natural impulse of many who read the next advertisement, which is also from the now fashionable and severely virtuousPost(date January 21, 1775), to cry out against the unnatural guardian who offers to sell his ward. Perhaps though, if they take time to reflect, they may remember instances of marriage for money, which, if not so public, were quite as iniquitous. Listen to a gentleman of honour of the lastcentury:—

AGENTLEMANof Honour and Property, having in his disposal at present a young Lady of good Family, with a fortune of Sixty Thousand Pounds, on her Marriage with his approbation, would be very happy to treat with a Man of Fashion and Family, who may think it worth his while to give the Advertiser a Gratuity of Five thousand pounds on the day of Marriage. As this is no common advertisement, it is expected no Gentleman will apply whose Family and Connections will not bear the strictest enquiry. The Advertiser having always lived retired from the World, immersed in business, is unacquainted with those of that Rank of Life that the Lady’s fortune entitles her to beconnected with, for which reason he has made this public application. Letters addressed to L. M., at Tom’s Coffee House, Devereux Court, near the Temple, mentioning real Name, and places of Abode, will punctually be attended to.

This is not so bad for a poor innocent who has lived retired from the world. And doubtless, though he was unacquainted with those of that rank of life to which a lady with sixty thousand pounds might well aspire, he was not to be deceived by even the most specious of fortune-hunters, Irishmen included. But here is another notice quite as interesting, though of a very different kind. It is also from theMorning Post, and appears a few days after that we have chosen to precedeit:—

To theLadiesonMoney Affairs.WHEREASthere are Sundry Ladies Who Have Two, Three, Or Four thousand pounds, or even more Money at their command, and who, from not knowing how to dispose of the same to the greatest advantage, but by living on the Small Interests which the stocks produce, afford them but a scanty Maintenance, especially to those who have been accustomed to Affluence, and would wish to live so still; the Advertiser (who is a Gentleman of independent Fortune, strict Honour and Character, and above any other reward than the pleasure of serving the Sex) acquaints such Ladies, that if they will favour him with their Name and Address, so as he may wait on them as opportunity best suits, he will put them into a Method by which they may, without any Trouble, and with an absolute Certainty, place out their Money, so as for it to produce them a clear and lawful interest of Ten or Twelve per cent, and that too on equally as good and safe Securities as if in the Funds, or on Mortgage at the common low interest, etc.Please to direct to R. J. Esq. at the Turks Head Coffee house, opposite Catharine Street, in the Strand, and the same will be duly attended to.

To theLadiesonMoney Affairs.

WHEREASthere are Sundry Ladies Who Have Two, Three, Or Four thousand pounds, or even more Money at their command, and who, from not knowing how to dispose of the same to the greatest advantage, but by living on the Small Interests which the stocks produce, afford them but a scanty Maintenance, especially to those who have been accustomed to Affluence, and would wish to live so still; the Advertiser (who is a Gentleman of independent Fortune, strict Honour and Character, and above any other reward than the pleasure of serving the Sex) acquaints such Ladies, that if they will favour him with their Name and Address, so as he may wait on them as opportunity best suits, he will put them into a Method by which they may, without any Trouble, and with an absolute Certainty, place out their Money, so as for it to produce them a clear and lawful interest of Ten or Twelve per cent, and that too on equally as good and safe Securities as if in the Funds, or on Mortgage at the common low interest, etc.

Please to direct to R. J. Esq. at the Turks Head Coffee house, opposite Catharine Street, in the Strand, and the same will be duly attended to.

There was no Associate Institute then to look after the interests of unprotected females; and perhaps if there had been, so plausible a rogue would not have attracted the attention of its highly paid officials. But the “weaker vessels” seem able to take their own parts at advertising,for the following is by no means a unique specimen of their effusions. Once again we draw from theMorning Post, the date being December 15,1775:—

ALADYwishes to borrow One Hundred Pounds. The Security, though personal, may probably be very agreeable to a single Gentleman of spirit. Every particular will be communicated with Candour and Sincerity, where confidence is so far reposed as to give the real Name and Address of the party willing to oblige the Advertiser. Gentlemen of real Fortune and liberal Sentiments, and those only, are requested to address a line to Y. N. at Mr Dyke’s, Cross Street, Long-Acre.

This lady was modest as well as candid and sincere; it is to be hoped she was pretty also, or else she had small chance. But now comes not virtue but honours in distress, and sufficiently hungry to be satisfied with very dirty pudding. In our own times baronets have seen unpleasantnesses; we remember one who used to do casual reporting, fires, accidents, coroners’ inquests, &c., and another who took to the stage, unsuccessfully. But he who advertised in theDaily Advertiserof January 23, 1776, was worse off than any titled successor. Judge foryourselves:—

MATRIMONY.For Fifty Pounds only, may gain One Hundred and Forty Thousand.ABARONETof Great Britain, that has an eligible chance and right in thirteen distinct Claims to speedily recover the above Sum, or to expect part by a Compromise, inforced by a very little Assistance, will marry any Woman, though with Child, or having Children by a former Husband, that will put such a Fifty-pound ticket in such Lottery; the remainder of her Money, if any, will be settled upon her; his person may not be objected to, and her Attorney may liberally inspect Writings, &c. which in form set forth his expectancies perspicuously; and any young Counsel or others may gain an Advantage, even a Fortune, by offering a small benevolent Assistance. Direct for the Baronet, at No. 2, near Blenheim Steps, in Oxford St., opposite Oxford Market, who has also a profession that may be made very advantageous for any new Adventurer in the physical way, that has a little money to join with him as a Partner. A patient hearing will obviate all Objection, and the strictest Secrecy and Honour may be depended on.

MATRIMONY.

For Fifty Pounds only, may gain One Hundred and Forty Thousand.

ABARONETof Great Britain, that has an eligible chance and right in thirteen distinct Claims to speedily recover the above Sum, or to expect part by a Compromise, inforced by a very little Assistance, will marry any Woman, though with Child, or having Children by a former Husband, that will put such a Fifty-pound ticket in such Lottery; the remainder of her Money, if any, will be settled upon her; his person may not be objected to, and her Attorney may liberally inspect Writings, &c. which in form set forth his expectancies perspicuously; and any young Counsel or others may gain an Advantage, even a Fortune, by offering a small benevolent Assistance. Direct for the Baronet, at No. 2, near Blenheim Steps, in Oxford St., opposite Oxford Market, who has also a profession that may be made very advantageous for any new Adventurer in the physical way, that has a little money to join with him as a Partner. A patient hearing will obviate all Objection, and the strictest Secrecy and Honour may be depended on.

It is noticeable that “the Baronet,” like those of his rank already referred to, was not above turning his hand to earn an honest penny. A little way back we invited the attention of Conservatives to an edifying extract; may we now dedicate the baronet’s appeal to those who would abolish the laws of primogeniture? Let them be advised in time, unless they should wish to see a duke reduced to despondency, or an earl holding horses for his living. No matter what happens to younger sons. Let them and their younger sons be swallowed up in the middle and lower classes, as they are now, though nobody seems to notice it; but let us preserve, no matter who else suffers, our titled aristocracy in its present exalted position. But what is to become of the scions of nobility who have no claim upon landed estate, when nepotism ceases to exist, sinecures are abolished, and all Government clerkships are matter of open competition! Frankly we do not know, but doubtless Providence will always be tenderly disposed towards persons of good family. Turning once more to theMorning Post(February 15, 1776), we come upon an announcement the merits of which are hard to determine. It promises rather toomuch:—

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