Chapter 4

M. Merry.Come on, sirs, apace, and 'quit yourselves like men.Your pains shall be rewarded.D. Dough.But, I wot not when.M. Merry.Do your master worship, as ye have done in time past.D. Dough.Speak to them: of mine office he shall have a cast.M. Merry.Harpax, look that thou do well too, and thy fellow.Harpax.I warrant, if he will mine example follow.M. Merry.Court'sy, whoresons: duck you and crouch at every word.D. Dough.Yes, whether our master speak earnest or bord.[76]M. Merry.For this lieth upon his preferment indeed.D. Dough.Oft is he a wooer, but never doth he speed.M. Merry.But with whom is he now so sadly rounding[77]yond?D. Dough.WithNobs nicebectur miserere[78]fond.M. Merry.God be at your wedding: be ye sped already?I did not suppose that your love was so greedy.I perceive now ye have chose of devotion;And joy have ye, lady, of your promotion!R. Roister.Tush, fool, thou art deceived, this is not she.M. Merry.Well, mock[79]much of her, and keep her well, I 'vise ye.I will take no charge of such a fair piece keeping.M. Mumbl.What aileth this fellow? he driveth me to weeping.M. Merry.What, weep on the wedding-day? be merry, woman:Though I say it, ye have chose a good gentleman.R. Roister.Kock's nowns,[80]what meanest thou, man? tut, a whistle.M. Merry.Ah, sir, be good to her; she is but a gristle:Ah, sweet lamb and coney!R. Roister.Tut, thou art deceived.M. Merry.Weep no more, lady, ye shall be well received.Up with some merry noise,[81]sirs, to bring home the bride!R. Roister.Gog's arms, knave, art thou mad? I tell thee thou art wide.M. Merry.Then, ye intend by night to have her home brought.R. Roister.I tell thee, no.M. Merry.How then?R. Roister.'Tis neither meant ne thought.M. Merry.What shall we then do with her?R. Roister.Ah, foolish harebrain,This is not she.M. Merry.No, is [not]. Why, then, unsaid again!And what young girl is this with your maship so bold?R. Roister.A girl?M. Merry.Yea, I daresay, scarce yet threescore year old.R. Roister.This same is the fair widow's nurse, of whom ye wot.M. Merry.Is she but a nurse of a house? hence home, old trot!Hence at once!R. Roister.No, no.M. Merry.What, an' please your maship,A nurse talk so homely with one of your worship?R. Roister.I will have it so; it is my pleasure and will.M. Merry.Then I am content. Nurse, come again, tarry still.R. Roister.What, she will help forward this my suit, for her part.M. Merry.Then is't mine own pigsny, and blessing on my heart!R. Roister.This is our best friend, man.M. Merry.Then teach her what to say.M. Mumbl.I am taught already.M. Merry.Then go, make no delay.R. Roister.Yet hark, one word in thine ear.M. Merry.Back, sirs, from his tail!R. Roister.Back, villains; will ye be privy of my counsel?M. Merry.Back, sirs! So. I told you afore ye would be shent.R. Roister.She shall have the first day a whole peck of argent.M. Mumbl.A peck!Nomine Patris, have ye so much spare?R. Roister.Yea, and a cart-load thereto, or else were it bare;Besides other moveables, household stuff and land.M. Mumbl.Have ye lands too?R. Roister.An hundred marks.M. Merry.Yea, a thousand.M. Mumbl.And have ye cattle too? and sheep too?R. Roister.Yea, a few.M. Merry.He is ashamed the number of them to show.E'en round about him as many thousand sheep goes,As he and thou, and I too, have fingers and toes.M. Mumbl.And how many years old be you?R. Roister.Forty at least.M. Merry.Yea, and thrice forty to them.R. Roister.Nay, thou dost jest.I am not so old: thou misreckonest my years.M. Merry.I know that; but my mind was on bullocks and steers.M. Mumbl.And what shall I show her your mastership's name is?R. Roister.Nay, she shall make suit, ere she know that, i-wis.M. Mumbl.Yet let me somewhat know.M. Merry.This is he, understandThat killed the blue spider in Blanchepowder land.M. Mumbl.Yea, Jesus, William, zee, law! did he zo, law?M. Merry.Yea, and the last elephant that ever he saw,As the beast passed by, he start out of a busk,[82]And e'en with pure strength of arms plucked out his great tusk.M. Mumbl.Jesus,Nomine Patris, what a thing was that!R. Roister.Yea, but, Merrygreek, one thing thou hast forgot.M. Merry.What?R. Roister.Of th' other elephant.M. Merry.O, him that fled away?R. Roister.Yea.M. Merry.Yea, he knew that his match was in place that day.Tut, he bet the King of Crickets on Christmas-day,That he crept in a hole, and not a word to say.M. Mumbl.A sore man, by zembletee.[83]M. Merry.Why, he wrong a clubOnce in a fray out of the hand of Belzebub.R. Roister.And how when Mumfision—M. Merry.O, your costrelingBore the lantern a-field so before the gozeling——Nay, that is too long a matter now to be told.Never ask his name, nurse, I warrant thee, be bold:He conquered in one day from Rome to Naples,And won towns, nurse, as fast as thou canst make apples.M. Mumbl.O Lord! my heart quaketh for fear, he is so sore.R. Roister.Thou makest her too much afeard, Merrygreek; no more.This tale would fear my sweetheart Custance right evil.M. Merry.Nay, let her take him, nurse, and fear not the devil.But thus is our song dasht—sirs, ye may home again.[To the music.R. Roister.No, shall they not. I charge you all here to remain:The villain slaves!—a whole day, ere they can be found!M. Merry.Couch on your marybones, whoresons, down to the ground!Was it meet he should tarry so long in one place,Without harmony of music or some solace?Whoso hath such bees as your master in his headHad need to have his spirits with music be fed.By your mastership's licence—R. Roister.What is that? a mote!M. Merry.No, it was a fowl's feather had light on your coat.R. Roister.I was nigh no feathers, since I came from my bed.M. Merry.No, sir, it was a hair that was fall from your head.R. Roister.My men come, when it please them.M. Merry.By your leave—R. Roister.What is that?M. Merry.Your gown was foul spotted with the foot[84]of a gnat.R. Roister.Their master to offend they are nothing afeard.What now?M. Merry.A lousy hair from your mastership's beard.And sir, for nurse's sake, pardon this one offence.Omnes Famulæ.We shall not after this show the like negligence.R. Roister.I pardon you this once; and, come, sing ne'er the worse.M. Merry.How like you the goodness of this gentleman, nurse?M. Mumbl.God save his mastership, that can so his men forgive!And I will hear them sing, ere I go, by his leave.R. Roister.Marry, and thou shalt, wench: come, we two will dance.M. Mumbl.Nay, I will by mine own self foot the song perchance.R. Roister.Go it, sirs, lustily.[Retires to write a letter.M. Mumbl.Pipe up a merry note.Let me hear it played, I will foot it for a groat.[Cantent.[85]R. Roister.Now, nurse, take this same letter here to thy mistress;And as my trust is in thee, ply my business.M. Mumbl.It shall be done.M. Merry.Who made it?R. Roister.I wrote it each whit.M. Merry.Then needs it no mending?R. Roister.No, no.M. Merry.No, I know your wit.R. Roister.I warrant it well.M. Mumbl.It shall be delivered;But, if ye speed, shall I be considered?M. Merry.Whough! dost thou doubt of that?M. Mumbl.What shall I have?M. Merry.An hundred times more than thou canst devise to crave.M. Mumbl.Shall I have some new gear, for my old is all spent?M. Merry.The worst kitchen wench shall go in ladies' raiment.M. Mumbl.Yea?M. Merry.And the worst drudge in the house shall go betterThan your mistress doth now.M. Mumbl.Then I trudge with your letter.R. Roister.Now may I repose me: Custance is mine own.Let us sing and play homeward, that it may be known.M. Merry.But are you sure that your letter is well enough?R. Roister.I wrote it myself.M. Merry.Then sing we to dinner.[Here they sing, and go out singing.

M. Merry.Come on, sirs, apace, and 'quit yourselves like men.Your pains shall be rewarded.

M. Merry.Come on, sirs, apace, and 'quit yourselves like men.

Your pains shall be rewarded.

D. Dough.But, I wot not when.

M. Merry.Do your master worship, as ye have done in time past.

D. Dough.Speak to them: of mine office he shall have a cast.

M. Merry.Harpax, look that thou do well too, and thy fellow.

Harpax.I warrant, if he will mine example follow.

M. Merry.Court'sy, whoresons: duck you and crouch at every word.

D. Dough.Yes, whether our master speak earnest or bord.[76]

M. Merry.For this lieth upon his preferment indeed.

D. Dough.Oft is he a wooer, but never doth he speed.

M. Merry.But with whom is he now so sadly rounding[77]yond?

D. Dough.WithNobs nicebectur miserere[78]fond.

M. Merry.God be at your wedding: be ye sped already?I did not suppose that your love was so greedy.I perceive now ye have chose of devotion;And joy have ye, lady, of your promotion!

M. Merry.God be at your wedding: be ye sped already?

I did not suppose that your love was so greedy.

I perceive now ye have chose of devotion;

And joy have ye, lady, of your promotion!

R. Roister.Tush, fool, thou art deceived, this is not she.

M. Merry.Well, mock[79]much of her, and keep her well, I 'vise ye.I will take no charge of such a fair piece keeping.

M. Merry.Well, mock[79]much of her, and keep her well, I 'vise ye.

I will take no charge of such a fair piece keeping.

M. Mumbl.What aileth this fellow? he driveth me to weeping.

M. Merry.What, weep on the wedding-day? be merry, woman:Though I say it, ye have chose a good gentleman.

M. Merry.What, weep on the wedding-day? be merry, woman:

Though I say it, ye have chose a good gentleman.

R. Roister.Kock's nowns,[80]what meanest thou, man? tut, a whistle.

M. Merry.Ah, sir, be good to her; she is but a gristle:Ah, sweet lamb and coney!

M. Merry.Ah, sir, be good to her; she is but a gristle:

Ah, sweet lamb and coney!

R. Roister.Tut, thou art deceived.

M. Merry.Weep no more, lady, ye shall be well received.Up with some merry noise,[81]sirs, to bring home the bride!

M. Merry.Weep no more, lady, ye shall be well received.

Up with some merry noise,[81]sirs, to bring home the bride!

R. Roister.Gog's arms, knave, art thou mad? I tell thee thou art wide.

M. Merry.Then, ye intend by night to have her home brought.

R. Roister.I tell thee, no.

M. Merry.How then?

R. Roister.'Tis neither meant ne thought.

M. Merry.What shall we then do with her?

R. Roister.Ah, foolish harebrain,This is not she.

R. Roister.Ah, foolish harebrain,

This is not she.

M. Merry.No, is [not]. Why, then, unsaid again!And what young girl is this with your maship so bold?

M. Merry.No, is [not]. Why, then, unsaid again!

And what young girl is this with your maship so bold?

R. Roister.A girl?

M. Merry.Yea, I daresay, scarce yet threescore year old.

R. Roister.This same is the fair widow's nurse, of whom ye wot.

M. Merry.Is she but a nurse of a house? hence home, old trot!Hence at once!

M. Merry.Is she but a nurse of a house? hence home, old trot!

Hence at once!

R. Roister.No, no.

M. Merry.What, an' please your maship,A nurse talk so homely with one of your worship?

M. Merry.What, an' please your maship,

A nurse talk so homely with one of your worship?

R. Roister.I will have it so; it is my pleasure and will.

M. Merry.Then I am content. Nurse, come again, tarry still.

R. Roister.What, she will help forward this my suit, for her part.

M. Merry.Then is't mine own pigsny, and blessing on my heart!

R. Roister.This is our best friend, man.

M. Merry.Then teach her what to say.

M. Mumbl.I am taught already.

M. Merry.Then go, make no delay.

R. Roister.Yet hark, one word in thine ear.

M. Merry.Back, sirs, from his tail!

R. Roister.Back, villains; will ye be privy of my counsel?

M. Merry.Back, sirs! So. I told you afore ye would be shent.

R. Roister.She shall have the first day a whole peck of argent.

M. Mumbl.A peck!Nomine Patris, have ye so much spare?

R. Roister.Yea, and a cart-load thereto, or else were it bare;Besides other moveables, household stuff and land.

R. Roister.Yea, and a cart-load thereto, or else were it bare;

Besides other moveables, household stuff and land.

M. Mumbl.Have ye lands too?

R. Roister.An hundred marks.

M. Merry.Yea, a thousand.

M. Mumbl.And have ye cattle too? and sheep too?

R. Roister.Yea, a few.

M. Merry.He is ashamed the number of them to show.E'en round about him as many thousand sheep goes,As he and thou, and I too, have fingers and toes.

M. Merry.He is ashamed the number of them to show.

E'en round about him as many thousand sheep goes,

As he and thou, and I too, have fingers and toes.

M. Mumbl.And how many years old be you?

R. Roister.Forty at least.

M. Merry.Yea, and thrice forty to them.

R. Roister.Nay, thou dost jest.I am not so old: thou misreckonest my years.

R. Roister.Nay, thou dost jest.

I am not so old: thou misreckonest my years.

M. Merry.I know that; but my mind was on bullocks and steers.

M. Mumbl.And what shall I show her your mastership's name is?

R. Roister.Nay, she shall make suit, ere she know that, i-wis.

M. Mumbl.Yet let me somewhat know.

M. Merry.This is he, understandThat killed the blue spider in Blanchepowder land.

M. Merry.This is he, understand

That killed the blue spider in Blanchepowder land.

M. Mumbl.Yea, Jesus, William, zee, law! did he zo, law?

M. Merry.Yea, and the last elephant that ever he saw,As the beast passed by, he start out of a busk,[82]And e'en with pure strength of arms plucked out his great tusk.

M. Merry.Yea, and the last elephant that ever he saw,

As the beast passed by, he start out of a busk,[82]

And e'en with pure strength of arms plucked out his great tusk.

M. Mumbl.Jesus,Nomine Patris, what a thing was that!

R. Roister.Yea, but, Merrygreek, one thing thou hast forgot.

M. Merry.What?

R. Roister.Of th' other elephant.

M. Merry.O, him that fled away?

R. Roister.Yea.

M. Merry.Yea, he knew that his match was in place that day.Tut, he bet the King of Crickets on Christmas-day,That he crept in a hole, and not a word to say.

M. Merry.Yea, he knew that his match was in place that day.

Tut, he bet the King of Crickets on Christmas-day,

That he crept in a hole, and not a word to say.

M. Mumbl.A sore man, by zembletee.[83]

M. Merry.Why, he wrong a clubOnce in a fray out of the hand of Belzebub.

M. Merry.Why, he wrong a club

Once in a fray out of the hand of Belzebub.

R. Roister.And how when Mumfision—

M. Merry.O, your costrelingBore the lantern a-field so before the gozeling——Nay, that is too long a matter now to be told.Never ask his name, nurse, I warrant thee, be bold:He conquered in one day from Rome to Naples,And won towns, nurse, as fast as thou canst make apples.

M. Merry.O, your costreling

Bore the lantern a-field so before the gozeling——

Nay, that is too long a matter now to be told.

Never ask his name, nurse, I warrant thee, be bold:

He conquered in one day from Rome to Naples,

And won towns, nurse, as fast as thou canst make apples.

M. Mumbl.O Lord! my heart quaketh for fear, he is so sore.

R. Roister.Thou makest her too much afeard, Merrygreek; no more.This tale would fear my sweetheart Custance right evil.

R. Roister.Thou makest her too much afeard, Merrygreek; no more.

This tale would fear my sweetheart Custance right evil.

M. Merry.Nay, let her take him, nurse, and fear not the devil.But thus is our song dasht—sirs, ye may home again.[To the music.

M. Merry.Nay, let her take him, nurse, and fear not the devil.

But thus is our song dasht—sirs, ye may home again.[To the music.

R. Roister.No, shall they not. I charge you all here to remain:The villain slaves!—a whole day, ere they can be found!

R. Roister.No, shall they not. I charge you all here to remain:

The villain slaves!—a whole day, ere they can be found!

M. Merry.Couch on your marybones, whoresons, down to the ground!Was it meet he should tarry so long in one place,Without harmony of music or some solace?Whoso hath such bees as your master in his headHad need to have his spirits with music be fed.By your mastership's licence—

M. Merry.Couch on your marybones, whoresons, down to the ground!

Was it meet he should tarry so long in one place,

Without harmony of music or some solace?

Whoso hath such bees as your master in his head

Had need to have his spirits with music be fed.

By your mastership's licence—

R. Roister.What is that? a mote!

M. Merry.No, it was a fowl's feather had light on your coat.

R. Roister.I was nigh no feathers, since I came from my bed.

M. Merry.No, sir, it was a hair that was fall from your head.

R. Roister.My men come, when it please them.

M. Merry.By your leave—

R. Roister.What is that?

M. Merry.Your gown was foul spotted with the foot[84]of a gnat.

R. Roister.Their master to offend they are nothing afeard.What now?

R. Roister.Their master to offend they are nothing afeard.

What now?

M. Merry.A lousy hair from your mastership's beard.And sir, for nurse's sake, pardon this one offence.

M. Merry.A lousy hair from your mastership's beard.

And sir, for nurse's sake, pardon this one offence.

Omnes Famulæ.We shall not after this show the like negligence.

R. Roister.I pardon you this once; and, come, sing ne'er the worse.

M. Merry.How like you the goodness of this gentleman, nurse?

M. Mumbl.God save his mastership, that can so his men forgive!And I will hear them sing, ere I go, by his leave.

M. Mumbl.God save his mastership, that can so his men forgive!

And I will hear them sing, ere I go, by his leave.

R. Roister.Marry, and thou shalt, wench: come, we two will dance.

M. Mumbl.Nay, I will by mine own self foot the song perchance.

R. Roister.Go it, sirs, lustily.[Retires to write a letter.

M. Mumbl.Pipe up a merry note.Let me hear it played, I will foot it for a groat.[Cantent.[85]

M. Mumbl.Pipe up a merry note.

Let me hear it played, I will foot it for a groat.[Cantent.[85]

R. Roister.Now, nurse, take this same letter here to thy mistress;And as my trust is in thee, ply my business.

R. Roister.Now, nurse, take this same letter here to thy mistress;

And as my trust is in thee, ply my business.

M. Mumbl.It shall be done.

M. Merry.Who made it?

R. Roister.I wrote it each whit.

M. Merry.Then needs it no mending?

R. Roister.No, no.

M. Merry.No, I know your wit.

R. Roister.I warrant it well.

M. Mumbl.It shall be delivered;But, if ye speed, shall I be considered?

M. Mumbl.It shall be delivered;

But, if ye speed, shall I be considered?

M. Merry.Whough! dost thou doubt of that?

M. Mumbl.What shall I have?

M. Merry.An hundred times more than thou canst devise to crave.

M. Mumbl.Shall I have some new gear, for my old is all spent?

M. Merry.The worst kitchen wench shall go in ladies' raiment.

M. Mumbl.Yea?

M. Merry.And the worst drudge in the house shall go betterThan your mistress doth now.

M. Merry.And the worst drudge in the house shall go better

Than your mistress doth now.

M. Mumbl.Then I trudge with your letter.

R. Roister.Now may I repose me: Custance is mine own.Let us sing and play homeward, that it may be known.

R. Roister.Now may I repose me: Custance is mine own.

Let us sing and play homeward, that it may be known.

M. Merry.But are you sure that your letter is well enough?

R. Roister.I wrote it myself.

M. Merry.Then sing we to dinner.[Here they sing, and go out singing.

ACTUS I., SCÆNA 5.

Christian Custance, Margery Mumblecrust.

C. Custance.Who took thee this letter, Margery Mumblecrust?M. Mumbl.A lusty gay bachelor took it me of trust,And if ye seek to him, he will love your doing.C. Custance.Yea, but where learned he that manner of wooing?M. Mumbl.If to sue to him you will any pains take,He will have you to his wife (he saith) for my sake.C. Custance.Some wise gentleman belike: I am bespoken.And I thought verily this had been some tokenFrom my dear spouse,[86]Gawin Goodluck, whom when him please,God luckily send home to both our hearts' ease!M. Mumbl.A jolly man it is, I wot well by report,And would have you to him for marriage resort.Best open the writing, and see what it doth speak.C. Custance.At this time, nurse, I will neither read ne break.M. Mumbl.He promised to give you a whole peck of gold.C. Custance.Perchance, [t'will] lack of a pint, when it shall be all told.M. Mumbl.I would take a gay rich husband, and I were you.C. Custance.In good sooth, Madge, e'en so would I, if I were thou.[87]But no more of this fond talk now; let us go in,And see thou no more move me folly to begin;Nor bring me no mo letters for no man's pleasure,But thou know from whom.M. Mumbl.I warrant, ye shall be sure.

C. Custance.Who took thee this letter, Margery Mumblecrust?

M. Mumbl.A lusty gay bachelor took it me of trust,And if ye seek to him, he will love your doing.

M. Mumbl.A lusty gay bachelor took it me of trust,

And if ye seek to him, he will love your doing.

C. Custance.Yea, but where learned he that manner of wooing?

M. Mumbl.If to sue to him you will any pains take,He will have you to his wife (he saith) for my sake.

M. Mumbl.If to sue to him you will any pains take,

He will have you to his wife (he saith) for my sake.

C. Custance.Some wise gentleman belike: I am bespoken.And I thought verily this had been some tokenFrom my dear spouse,[86]Gawin Goodluck, whom when him please,God luckily send home to both our hearts' ease!

C. Custance.Some wise gentleman belike: I am bespoken.

And I thought verily this had been some token

From my dear spouse,[86]Gawin Goodluck, whom when him please,

God luckily send home to both our hearts' ease!

M. Mumbl.A jolly man it is, I wot well by report,And would have you to him for marriage resort.Best open the writing, and see what it doth speak.

M. Mumbl.A jolly man it is, I wot well by report,

And would have you to him for marriage resort.

Best open the writing, and see what it doth speak.

C. Custance.At this time, nurse, I will neither read ne break.

M. Mumbl.He promised to give you a whole peck of gold.

C. Custance.Perchance, [t'will] lack of a pint, when it shall be all told.

M. Mumbl.I would take a gay rich husband, and I were you.

C. Custance.In good sooth, Madge, e'en so would I, if I were thou.[87]But no more of this fond talk now; let us go in,And see thou no more move me folly to begin;Nor bring me no mo letters for no man's pleasure,But thou know from whom.

C. Custance.In good sooth, Madge, e'en so would I, if I were thou.[87]

But no more of this fond talk now; let us go in,

And see thou no more move me folly to begin;

Nor bring me no mo letters for no man's pleasure,

But thou know from whom.

M. Mumbl.I warrant, ye shall be sure.

Dobinet Doughty.

D. Dough.Where is the house I go to, before or behind?I know not where nor when, nor how I shall it find.If I had ten men's bodies and legs, and strength,This trotting that I have must needs lame me at length.And now that my master is new-set on wooing,I trust there shall none of us find lack of doing:Two pair of shoes a day will now be too littleTo serve me, I must trot to and fro so mickle."Go bear me this token;" "carry me this letter;"Now this is the best way; now that way is better."Up before day, sirs, I charge you, an hour or twain;Trudge, do me this message, and bring word quick again."If one miss but a minute, then, "His arms and wounds,I would not have slacked for ten thousand pounds!Nay see, I beseech you, if my most trusty pageGo not now about to hinder my marriage."So fervent hot wooing, and so far from wiving,I trow, never was any creature living;With every woman is he in some love's-pang;Then up to our lute at midnight,twangledom twang.Then twang with our sonnets, and twang with our dumps,[89]And heigho from our heart, as heavy as lead-lumps.Then to our recorder[90]withtoodleloodle poop,As the howlet out of an ivy bush should hoop.Anon to our gittern,[91]thrumpledum thrumpledum thrum,Thrumpledum, thrumpledum, thrumpledum, thrumpledum, thrum.Of songs and ballads also he is a maker,And that can he as finely do as Jack Raker;[92]Yea, and extempore will he ditties compose;Foolish Marsias ne'er made the like, I suppose;Yet must we sing them, as good stuff, I undertake,As for such a pen-man is well fitting to make."Ah, for these long nights! heigho! when will it be day?I fear, ere I come, she will be wooed away."Then, when answer is made, that it may not be,"O death, why comest thou not?" by and by saith he.But then from his heart to put away sorrow,He is as far in with some new love next morrow.But, in the mean season, we trudge and we trot:From dayspring to midnight I sit not nor rest not.And now am I sent to dame Christian Custance;But I fear it will end with a mock for pastance.[93]I bring her a ring with a token in a clout,And by all guess this same is her house out of doubt.I know it now perfect, I am in my right way;And lo! yond the old nurse that was with us last day.

D. Dough.Where is the house I go to, before or behind?

I know not where nor when, nor how I shall it find.

If I had ten men's bodies and legs, and strength,

This trotting that I have must needs lame me at length.

And now that my master is new-set on wooing,

I trust there shall none of us find lack of doing:

Two pair of shoes a day will now be too little

To serve me, I must trot to and fro so mickle.

"Go bear me this token;" "carry me this letter;"

Now this is the best way; now that way is better.

"Up before day, sirs, I charge you, an hour or twain;

Trudge, do me this message, and bring word quick again."

If one miss but a minute, then, "His arms and wounds,

I would not have slacked for ten thousand pounds!

Nay see, I beseech you, if my most trusty page

Go not now about to hinder my marriage."

So fervent hot wooing, and so far from wiving,

I trow, never was any creature living;

With every woman is he in some love's-pang;

Then up to our lute at midnight,twangledom twang.

Then twang with our sonnets, and twang with our dumps,[89]

And heigho from our heart, as heavy as lead-lumps.

Then to our recorder[90]withtoodleloodle poop,

As the howlet out of an ivy bush should hoop.

Anon to our gittern,[91]thrumpledum thrumpledum thrum,

Thrumpledum, thrumpledum, thrumpledum, thrumpledum, thrum.

Of songs and ballads also he is a maker,

And that can he as finely do as Jack Raker;[92]

Yea, and extempore will he ditties compose;

Foolish Marsias ne'er made the like, I suppose;

Yet must we sing them, as good stuff, I undertake,

As for such a pen-man is well fitting to make.

"Ah, for these long nights! heigho! when will it be day?

I fear, ere I come, she will be wooed away."

Then, when answer is made, that it may not be,

"O death, why comest thou not?" by and by saith he.

But then from his heart to put away sorrow,

He is as far in with some new love next morrow.

But, in the mean season, we trudge and we trot:

From dayspring to midnight I sit not nor rest not.

And now am I sent to dame Christian Custance;

But I fear it will end with a mock for pastance.[93]

I bring her a ring with a token in a clout,

And by all guess this same is her house out of doubt.

I know it now perfect, I am in my right way;

And lo! yond the old nurse that was with us last day.

ACTUS II., SCÆNA 2.

Madge Mumblecrust, Dobinet Doughty.

M. Mumbl.I was ne'er so shoke[94]up afore, since I was born:That our mistress could not have had chid, I would have sworn.And I pray God I die, if I meant any harm;But for my lifetime this shall be to me a charm.D. Dough.God you save and see, nurse! and how is it with you?M. Mumbl.Marry, a great deal the worse it is for such as thou.D. Dough.For me? Why so?M. Mumbl.Why, were not thou one of them, say,That sang and played here with the gentleman last day?D. Dough.Yes, and he would know, if you have for him spoken,And prays you to deliver this ring and token.M. Mumbl.Now, by the token that God tokened, brother,I will deliver no token, one nor other.I have once been so shent for your master's pleasure,As I will not be again for all his treasure.D. Dough.He will thank you, woman.M. Mumbl.I will none of his thank.[Exit M. Mumbl.[95]D. Dough.I ween I am a prophet; this gear will prove blank.But what, should I home again without answer go?It were better go to Rome on my head than so[96].I will tarry here this month, but some of the houseShall take it of me, and then I care not a louse.But yonder cometh forth a wench or a lad:If he have not one Lombard's touch[97], my luck is bad.

M. Mumbl.I was ne'er so shoke[94]up afore, since I was born:

That our mistress could not have had chid, I would have sworn.

And I pray God I die, if I meant any harm;

But for my lifetime this shall be to me a charm.

D. Dough.God you save and see, nurse! and how is it with you?

M. Mumbl.Marry, a great deal the worse it is for such as thou.

D. Dough.For me? Why so?

M. Mumbl.Why, were not thou one of them, say,That sang and played here with the gentleman last day?

M. Mumbl.Why, were not thou one of them, say,

That sang and played here with the gentleman last day?

D. Dough.Yes, and he would know, if you have for him spoken,And prays you to deliver this ring and token.

D. Dough.Yes, and he would know, if you have for him spoken,

And prays you to deliver this ring and token.

M. Mumbl.Now, by the token that God tokened, brother,I will deliver no token, one nor other.I have once been so shent for your master's pleasure,As I will not be again for all his treasure.

M. Mumbl.Now, by the token that God tokened, brother,

I will deliver no token, one nor other.

I have once been so shent for your master's pleasure,

As I will not be again for all his treasure.

D. Dough.He will thank you, woman.

M. Mumbl.I will none of his thank.[Exit M. Mumbl.[95]

D. Dough.I ween I am a prophet; this gear will prove blank.But what, should I home again without answer go?It were better go to Rome on my head than so[96].I will tarry here this month, but some of the houseShall take it of me, and then I care not a louse.But yonder cometh forth a wench or a lad:If he have not one Lombard's touch[97], my luck is bad.

D. Dough.I ween I am a prophet; this gear will prove blank.

But what, should I home again without answer go?

It were better go to Rome on my head than so[96].

I will tarry here this month, but some of the house

Shall take it of me, and then I care not a louse.

But yonder cometh forth a wench or a lad:

If he have not one Lombard's touch[97], my luck is bad.

ACTUS II., SCÆNA 3.

TRUEPENNY, D. DOUGH., TIBET T., ANNOT AL.

Truepenny.I am clean lost for lack of merry company;We 'gree not half well within, our wenches and I:They will command like mistresses, they will forbid;If they be not served, Truepenny must be chid.Let them be as merry now, as ye can desire:With turning of a hand our mirth lieth in the mire.I cannot skill of such changeable mettle,There is nothing with them but, In dock, out nettle.[98]D. Dough.Whether is it better that I speak to him first,Or he first to me? It is good to cast the worst.If I begin first, he will smell all my purpose:Otherwise I shall not need anything to disclose.[Aside.Truepenny.What boy have we yonder? I will see what he is.D. Dough.He cometh to me. It is hereabout, i-wis.[Aside.Truepenny.Wouldest thou ought, friend, that thou lookest so about?D. Dough.Yea; but whether ye can help me or no, I doubt.I seek to one Mistress Custance house here dwelling.Truepenny.It is my mistress ye seek to, by your telling.D. Dough.Is there any of that name here but she?Truepenny.Not one in all the whole town that I know, pardè.D. Dough.A widow she is, I trow.Truepenny.And what, and she be?D. Dough.But ensured to an husband?Truepenny.Yea, so think we.D. Dough.And I dwell with her husband that trusteth to be.Truepenny.In faith, then must thou needs be welcome to me.Let us, for acquaintance, shake hands together,And, whate'er thou be, heartily welcome hither.Tib. Talk.[99]Well, Truepenny, never but flinging?An. Alyface.And frisking?Truepenny.Well, Tibet and Annot, still swinging and whisking?Tib. Talk.But ye roil abroad.An. Alyface.In the street everywhere.Truepenny.Where are ye twain? in chambers, when ye meet me there?But come hither, fools: I have one now by the hand,Servant to him that must be our mistress' husband;Bid him welcome.An. Alyface.To me truly he is welcome.Tib. Talk.Forsooth and, as I may say, heartily welcome.D. Dough.I thank you, mistress maids.An. Alyface.I hope we shall better know.Tib. Talk.And when will our new master come?D. Dough.Shortly, I trow.Tib. Talk.I would it were to-morrow; for, till he resort,Our mistress, being a widow, hath small comfort:And I heard our nurse speak of an husband to-day,Ready for our mistress; a rich man and a gay.And we shall go in our French hoods every day:In our silk cassocks (I warrant you) fresh and gay;In our trick ferdegews and billiments of gold;Brave in our suits of change, seven double fold.Then shall ye see Tibet, sirs, tread the moss so trim;Nay, why said I tread? ye shall see her glide and swim;Not lumperdy-clumperdy, like our spaniel Rig.Truepenny.Marry, then, prick-me-dainty; come, toast me a fig.Who shall then know our Tib Talkapace, trow ye?An. Alyface.And why not Annot Alyface as fine as she?Truepenny.And what, had Tom Truepenny a father or none?An. Alyface.Then our pretty new-come-man will look to be one.Truepenny.We four, I trust, shall be a jolly merry knot.Shall we sing a fit[100]to welcome our friend, Annot?An. Alyface.Perchance, he cannot sing.D. Dough.I am at all assays.Tib. Talk.By Cock, and the better welcome to us always.Here they sing:A thing very fitFor them that have wit,And are fellows knit,Servants in one house to be;As fast for to sit,And not oft to flit,Nor vary a whit,But lovingly to agree.No man complaining,No other disdaining,For loss or for gaining.But fellows or friends to be;No grudge remaining,No work refraining,Nor help restraining,But lovingly to agree.No man for despite,By word or by write,His fellow to twite,But further in honesty;No good turns entwite,Nor old sores recite,But let all go quite,And lovingly to agree.After drudgery,When they be weary,Then to be merry,To laugh and sing they be free;With chip and cherry,Heigh derry derry,Trill on the bery,And lovingly to agree.Tib. Talk.Will you now in with us unto our mistress go?D. Dough.I have first for my master an errand or two.But I have here from him a token and a ring;They shall have most thank of her, that first doth it bring.Tib. Talk.Marry, that will I.Truepenny.See, and Tibet snatch not now!Tib. Talk.And why may not I, sir, get thanks as well as you?[Exit.An. Alyface.Yet get ye not all, we will go with you both,And have part of your thanks, be ye never so loth.[Exit omnes.D. Dough.So my hands are rid of it, I care for no more.I may now return home: so durst I not afore.[Exit.

Truepenny.I am clean lost for lack of merry company;

We 'gree not half well within, our wenches and I:

They will command like mistresses, they will forbid;

If they be not served, Truepenny must be chid.

Let them be as merry now, as ye can desire:

With turning of a hand our mirth lieth in the mire.

I cannot skill of such changeable mettle,

There is nothing with them but, In dock, out nettle.[98]

D. Dough.Whether is it better that I speak to him first,Or he first to me? It is good to cast the worst.If I begin first, he will smell all my purpose:Otherwise I shall not need anything to disclose.[Aside.

D. Dough.Whether is it better that I speak to him first,

Or he first to me? It is good to cast the worst.

If I begin first, he will smell all my purpose:

Otherwise I shall not need anything to disclose.[Aside.

Truepenny.What boy have we yonder? I will see what he is.

D. Dough.He cometh to me. It is hereabout, i-wis.[Aside.

Truepenny.Wouldest thou ought, friend, that thou lookest so about?

D. Dough.Yea; but whether ye can help me or no, I doubt.I seek to one Mistress Custance house here dwelling.

D. Dough.Yea; but whether ye can help me or no, I doubt.

I seek to one Mistress Custance house here dwelling.

Truepenny.It is my mistress ye seek to, by your telling.

D. Dough.Is there any of that name here but she?

Truepenny.Not one in all the whole town that I know, pardè.

D. Dough.A widow she is, I trow.

Truepenny.And what, and she be?

D. Dough.But ensured to an husband?

Truepenny.Yea, so think we.

D. Dough.And I dwell with her husband that trusteth to be.

Truepenny.In faith, then must thou needs be welcome to me.Let us, for acquaintance, shake hands together,And, whate'er thou be, heartily welcome hither.

Truepenny.In faith, then must thou needs be welcome to me.

Let us, for acquaintance, shake hands together,

And, whate'er thou be, heartily welcome hither.

Tib. Talk.[99]Well, Truepenny, never but flinging?

An. Alyface.And frisking?

Truepenny.Well, Tibet and Annot, still swinging and whisking?

Tib. Talk.But ye roil abroad.

An. Alyface.In the street everywhere.

Truepenny.Where are ye twain? in chambers, when ye meet me there?But come hither, fools: I have one now by the hand,Servant to him that must be our mistress' husband;Bid him welcome.

Truepenny.Where are ye twain? in chambers, when ye meet me there?

But come hither, fools: I have one now by the hand,

Servant to him that must be our mistress' husband;

Bid him welcome.

An. Alyface.To me truly he is welcome.

Tib. Talk.Forsooth and, as I may say, heartily welcome.

D. Dough.I thank you, mistress maids.

An. Alyface.I hope we shall better know.

Tib. Talk.And when will our new master come?

D. Dough.Shortly, I trow.

Tib. Talk.I would it were to-morrow; for, till he resort,Our mistress, being a widow, hath small comfort:And I heard our nurse speak of an husband to-day,Ready for our mistress; a rich man and a gay.And we shall go in our French hoods every day:In our silk cassocks (I warrant you) fresh and gay;In our trick ferdegews and billiments of gold;Brave in our suits of change, seven double fold.Then shall ye see Tibet, sirs, tread the moss so trim;Nay, why said I tread? ye shall see her glide and swim;Not lumperdy-clumperdy, like our spaniel Rig.

Tib. Talk.I would it were to-morrow; for, till he resort,

Our mistress, being a widow, hath small comfort:

And I heard our nurse speak of an husband to-day,

Ready for our mistress; a rich man and a gay.

And we shall go in our French hoods every day:

In our silk cassocks (I warrant you) fresh and gay;

In our trick ferdegews and billiments of gold;

Brave in our suits of change, seven double fold.

Then shall ye see Tibet, sirs, tread the moss so trim;

Nay, why said I tread? ye shall see her glide and swim;

Not lumperdy-clumperdy, like our spaniel Rig.

Truepenny.Marry, then, prick-me-dainty; come, toast me a fig.Who shall then know our Tib Talkapace, trow ye?

Truepenny.Marry, then, prick-me-dainty; come, toast me a fig.

Who shall then know our Tib Talkapace, trow ye?

An. Alyface.And why not Annot Alyface as fine as she?

Truepenny.And what, had Tom Truepenny a father or none?

An. Alyface.Then our pretty new-come-man will look to be one.

Truepenny.We four, I trust, shall be a jolly merry knot.Shall we sing a fit[100]to welcome our friend, Annot?

Truepenny.We four, I trust, shall be a jolly merry knot.

Shall we sing a fit[100]to welcome our friend, Annot?

An. Alyface.Perchance, he cannot sing.

D. Dough.I am at all assays.

Tib. Talk.By Cock, and the better welcome to us always.

Here they sing:

A thing very fitFor them that have wit,And are fellows knit,Servants in one house to be;As fast for to sit,And not oft to flit,Nor vary a whit,But lovingly to agree.

A thing very fit

For them that have wit,

And are fellows knit,

Servants in one house to be;

As fast for to sit,

And not oft to flit,

Nor vary a whit,

But lovingly to agree.

No man complaining,No other disdaining,For loss or for gaining.But fellows or friends to be;No grudge remaining,No work refraining,Nor help restraining,But lovingly to agree.

No man complaining,

No other disdaining,

For loss or for gaining.

But fellows or friends to be;

No grudge remaining,

No work refraining,

Nor help restraining,

But lovingly to agree.

No man for despite,By word or by write,His fellow to twite,But further in honesty;No good turns entwite,Nor old sores recite,But let all go quite,And lovingly to agree.

No man for despite,

By word or by write,

His fellow to twite,

But further in honesty;

No good turns entwite,

Nor old sores recite,

But let all go quite,

And lovingly to agree.

After drudgery,When they be weary,Then to be merry,To laugh and sing they be free;With chip and cherry,Heigh derry derry,Trill on the bery,And lovingly to agree.

After drudgery,

When they be weary,

Then to be merry,

To laugh and sing they be free;

With chip and cherry,

Heigh derry derry,

Trill on the bery,

And lovingly to agree.

Tib. Talk.Will you now in with us unto our mistress go?

D. Dough.I have first for my master an errand or two.But I have here from him a token and a ring;They shall have most thank of her, that first doth it bring.

D. Dough.I have first for my master an errand or two.

But I have here from him a token and a ring;

They shall have most thank of her, that first doth it bring.

Tib. Talk.Marry, that will I.

Truepenny.See, and Tibet snatch not now!

Tib. Talk.And why may not I, sir, get thanks as well as you?[Exit.

An. Alyface.Yet get ye not all, we will go with you both,And have part of your thanks, be ye never so loth.[Exit omnes.

An. Alyface.Yet get ye not all, we will go with you both,

And have part of your thanks, be ye never so loth.[Exit omnes.

D. Dough.So my hands are rid of it, I care for no more.I may now return home: so durst I not afore.[Exit.

D. Dough.So my hands are rid of it, I care for no more.

I may now return home: so durst I not afore.[Exit.

ACTUS II., SCÆNA 4.

C. Custance, Tibet, Annot Alyface, Truepenny.

C. Custance.Nay, come forth all three; and come hither, pretty maid:Will not so many forewarnings make you afraid?Tib. Talk.Yes, forsooth.C. Custance.But still be a runner up and down?Still be a bringer of tidings and tokens to town?Tib. Talk.No, forsooth, mistress.C. Custance.Is all your delight and joyIn whisking and ramping abroad, like a Tom-boy?Tib. Talk.Forsooth, these were there too, Annot and Truepenny.Truepenny.Yea, but ye alone took it, ye cannot deny.An. Alyface.Yea, that ye did.Tib. Talk.But, if I had not, ye twain would.C. Custance.You great calf, ye should have more wit, so ye should.[To Truep.But why should any of you take such things in hand?Tib. Talk.Because it came from him that must be your husband.C. Custance.How do ye know that?Tib. Talk.Forsooth, the boy did say so.C. Custance.What was his name?An. Alyface.We asked not.C. Custance.No, did [ye not?]An. Alyface.He is not far gone, of likelihood.Truepenny.I will see.C. Custance.If thou canst find him in the street, bring him to me.Truepenny.Yes.[Exeat.C. Custance.Well, ye naughty girls, if ever I perceiveThat henceforth you do letters or tokens receive,To bring unto me from any person or place,Except ye first show me the party face to face,Either thou, or thou, full truly abi'[101]thou shalt.Tib. Talk.Pardon this, and the next time powder me in salt.C. Custance.I shall make all girls by you twain to beware.Tib. Talk.If I ever offend again, do not me spare.But if ever I see that false boy any more,By your mistresship's licence, I tell you afore,I will rather have my coat twenty times swinged,Than on the naughty wag not to be avenged.C. Custance.Good wenches would not so ramp abroad idly,But keep within doors, and ply their work earnestly.If one would speak with me, that is a man likely,Ye shall have right good thank to bring me word quickly;But otherwise with messages to come in post,From henceforth I promise you shall be to your cost.Get you into your work.Tib. and Annot.Yes, forsooth.C. Custance.Hence, both twain.And let me see you play me such a part again![Ex. Tib. and Annot.Truepenny(re-entering). Mistress, I have run past the far end of the street,Yet can I not yonder crafty boy see nor meet.C. Custance.No!Truepenny.Yet I looked as far beyond the peopleAs one may see out of the top of Paul's steeple.C. Custance.Hence, in at doors, and let me no more be vext!Truepenny.Forgive me this one fault, and lay on for the next.[102]C. Custance.Now will I in too, for I think, so God me mend,This will prove some foolish matter in the end.[Exeat.

C. Custance.Nay, come forth all three; and come hither, pretty maid:Will not so many forewarnings make you afraid?

C. Custance.Nay, come forth all three; and come hither, pretty maid:

Will not so many forewarnings make you afraid?

Tib. Talk.Yes, forsooth.

C. Custance.But still be a runner up and down?Still be a bringer of tidings and tokens to town?

C. Custance.But still be a runner up and down?

Still be a bringer of tidings and tokens to town?

Tib. Talk.No, forsooth, mistress.

C. Custance.Is all your delight and joyIn whisking and ramping abroad, like a Tom-boy?

C. Custance.Is all your delight and joy

In whisking and ramping abroad, like a Tom-boy?

Tib. Talk.Forsooth, these were there too, Annot and Truepenny.

Truepenny.Yea, but ye alone took it, ye cannot deny.

An. Alyface.Yea, that ye did.

Tib. Talk.But, if I had not, ye twain would.

C. Custance.You great calf, ye should have more wit, so ye should.[To Truep.But why should any of you take such things in hand?

C. Custance.You great calf, ye should have more wit, so ye should.

[To Truep.

But why should any of you take such things in hand?

Tib. Talk.Because it came from him that must be your husband.

C. Custance.How do ye know that?

Tib. Talk.Forsooth, the boy did say so.

C. Custance.What was his name?

An. Alyface.We asked not.

C. Custance.No, did [ye not?]

An. Alyface.He is not far gone, of likelihood.

Truepenny.I will see.

C. Custance.If thou canst find him in the street, bring him to me.

Truepenny.Yes.[Exeat.

C. Custance.Well, ye naughty girls, if ever I perceiveThat henceforth you do letters or tokens receive,To bring unto me from any person or place,Except ye first show me the party face to face,Either thou, or thou, full truly abi'[101]thou shalt.

C. Custance.Well, ye naughty girls, if ever I perceive

That henceforth you do letters or tokens receive,

To bring unto me from any person or place,

Except ye first show me the party face to face,

Either thou, or thou, full truly abi'[101]thou shalt.

Tib. Talk.Pardon this, and the next time powder me in salt.

C. Custance.I shall make all girls by you twain to beware.

Tib. Talk.If I ever offend again, do not me spare.But if ever I see that false boy any more,By your mistresship's licence, I tell you afore,I will rather have my coat twenty times swinged,Than on the naughty wag not to be avenged.

Tib. Talk.If I ever offend again, do not me spare.

But if ever I see that false boy any more,

By your mistresship's licence, I tell you afore,

I will rather have my coat twenty times swinged,

Than on the naughty wag not to be avenged.

C. Custance.Good wenches would not so ramp abroad idly,But keep within doors, and ply their work earnestly.If one would speak with me, that is a man likely,Ye shall have right good thank to bring me word quickly;But otherwise with messages to come in post,From henceforth I promise you shall be to your cost.Get you into your work.

C. Custance.Good wenches would not so ramp abroad idly,

But keep within doors, and ply their work earnestly.

If one would speak with me, that is a man likely,

Ye shall have right good thank to bring me word quickly;

But otherwise with messages to come in post,

From henceforth I promise you shall be to your cost.

Get you into your work.

Tib. and Annot.Yes, forsooth.

C. Custance.Hence, both twain.And let me see you play me such a part again![Ex. Tib. and Annot.

C. Custance.Hence, both twain.

And let me see you play me such a part again![Ex. Tib. and Annot.

Truepenny(re-entering). Mistress, I have run past the far end of the street,Yet can I not yonder crafty boy see nor meet.

Truepenny(re-entering). Mistress, I have run past the far end of the street,

Yet can I not yonder crafty boy see nor meet.

C. Custance.No!

Truepenny.Yet I looked as far beyond the peopleAs one may see out of the top of Paul's steeple.

Truepenny.Yet I looked as far beyond the people

As one may see out of the top of Paul's steeple.

C. Custance.Hence, in at doors, and let me no more be vext!

Truepenny.Forgive me this one fault, and lay on for the next.[102]

C. Custance.Now will I in too, for I think, so God me mend,This will prove some foolish matter in the end.[Exeat.

C. Custance.Now will I in too, for I think, so God me mend,

This will prove some foolish matter in the end.[Exeat.

Matthew Merrygreek.

M. Merry.Now say this again: he hath somewhat to doingWhich followeth the trace of one that is wooing;Specially that hath no more wit in his head,Than my cousin Roister Doister withal is led.I am sent in all haste to espy and to mark,How our letters and tokens are likely to wark.Master Roister Doister must have answer in haste,For he loveth not to spend much labour in waste.Now as for Christian Custance, by this light,Though she had not her troth to Gawin Goodluck plight,Yet rather than with such a loutish dolt to marry,I daresay would live a poor life solitary.But fain would I speak with Custance, if I wist how,To laugh at the matter. Yond cometh one forth now.

M. Merry.Now say this again: he hath somewhat to doing

Which followeth the trace of one that is wooing;

Specially that hath no more wit in his head,

Than my cousin Roister Doister withal is led.

I am sent in all haste to espy and to mark,

How our letters and tokens are likely to wark.

Master Roister Doister must have answer in haste,

For he loveth not to spend much labour in waste.

Now as for Christian Custance, by this light,

Though she had not her troth to Gawin Goodluck plight,

Yet rather than with such a loutish dolt to marry,

I daresay would live a poor life solitary.

But fain would I speak with Custance, if I wist how,

To laugh at the matter. Yond cometh one forth now.

ACTUS III., SCÆNA 2.

Tibet. M. Merrygreek(aside).

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