The Project Gutenberg eBook ofComic Arithmetic

The Project Gutenberg eBook ofComic ArithmeticThis ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online atwww.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.Title: Comic ArithmeticAuthor: Percival LeighIllustrator: Alfred CrowquillRelease date: June 28, 2014 [eBook #46120]Most recently updated: October 24, 2024Language: EnglishCredits: Produced by Chris Curnow, mirjam and the Online DistributedProofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file wasproduced from images generously made available by TheInternet Archive)*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK COMIC ARITHMETIC ***

This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online atwww.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

Title: Comic ArithmeticAuthor: Percival LeighIllustrator: Alfred CrowquillRelease date: June 28, 2014 [eBook #46120]Most recently updated: October 24, 2024Language: EnglishCredits: Produced by Chris Curnow, mirjam and the Online DistributedProofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file wasproduced from images generously made available by TheInternet Archive)

Title: Comic Arithmetic

Author: Percival LeighIllustrator: Alfred Crowquill

Author: Percival Leigh

Illustrator: Alfred Crowquill

Release date: June 28, 2014 [eBook #46120]Most recently updated: October 24, 2024

Language: English

Credits: Produced by Chris Curnow, mirjam and the Online DistributedProofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file wasproduced from images generously made available by TheInternet Archive)

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK COMIC ARITHMETIC ***

TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE:

The cover image was created by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.

Inconsistencies in hyphenation and spelling have not been corrected. Punctuation has been silently corrected. A list of other corrections can be found at theend of the document.

A FIGURANTE.

"Go the whole figure."—Sam Slick.

LONDON:RICHARD BENTLEY, NEW BURLINGTON STREET.1844.

LONDON:R. CLAY, PRINTER, BREAD STREET HILL.

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.

"Good wine needs no bush," and, therefore, little by way of preface is necessary to this Work. "He who is ignorant of arithmetic," says Archimedes, "is but half a man." Therefore, for the sake ofmanhood, which drapers'-boys and lawyers'-clerks attempt by means of mustachoes and penny-cigars, read this Work,—for if the dead abstractions of this science will make aman, what must the living realities do?—Nothing less than a Phœnix D'Orsay, which is at least 1 man ¾ and ⅝.

Read this book, then, my friends, young and old. It teaches practical philosophy in everychapter; wisdom in every page; and common sense in every line. Get this manual at the fingers' ends of your mind, and your physical and mental powers will be so expanded that you will be able to catch a comet by the tail; take the moon by the horns; knock down the great wall of China,à la Cribb; or measure the spectre of the Brocken for a pair of breeches, and thus cut a prettyFigure.

Arithmetic is the art or science of computing by numbers. It is national, political, military, and commercial. It is of the highest importance to the community; because it pre-eminently teaches us to take care ofNumber I. Our ministers succeed according to their knowledge of the science of numbers. Witness the skilful management of majorities of the lower house.

He who understands the true art ofAddition,Subtraction,Multiplication, andDivision, as here laid down, will not be considered a merecipherinthe world; but will, in all probability, make a considerablefigure: and in the figurative words of Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in fœnore nummis."

Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection of that god of honest men, the light-heeled and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so toaddto our store bysubtractingfrom the stores of others, that we mayaddto our importance. Let us somultiplyour resources, by encouragingdivisionamong our contemporaries, that we may see theirreductionin the perfection of our ownpractice.

"Rem facias; remRecte si possis, sì non, quocunqueModo rem."[1]Hor.

"Rem facias; rem

Recte si possis, sì non, quocunque

Modo rem."[1]

Hor.

EQUALITY.The Sign of Equality--'Who are You?'"WHO ARE YOU?"

EQUALITY.

"WHO ARE YOU?"

= Equality. The sign of equality: as, "A living beggar is better than a dead king;" or both being dead, are equal to each other.

The Sign of Subtraction

— Minus, less. The sign of subtraction; as, for instance, an elopement to Gretna; or, a knocking-down argument by the way-side, — minus ticker. Take from — from take.

A PluralistA PLURALIST.

A PLURALIST.

+ Plus, or more. The sign of addition; as, 3 livings + to 1 = 4; or, 5 millions of new taxes + to 48 = 53.

The Sacred HaltarTHE SACRED HALTAR.

THE SACRED HALTAR.

× Multiplied by. The sign of multiplication: as, "The sun breeds maggots in a dead dog."—See Shakspeare.Or, "Money makes money."—See Franklin.Or, Anti-Malthus.—See Ireland.

Dividing the Chinese, a cutting JokeDIVIDING THE CHINESE, A CUTTING JOKE.

DIVIDING THE CHINESE, A CUTTING JOKE.

÷ Divided by. The sign of division. Example1. The Whigs.—2. The Church. A house divided against itself. Division of property; the lion's share, &c.

Is to: so is:: As Lord B——is toBishop P——,so isa blue musquito to a planter's nose.

As Sir R—— I——is toJ—— H——,so isa pair of donkey's-ears to a barber's-block.

As Tommy Duncombeis toLord Stanley,so isshrimp-sauce to a boiled turbot.

The Poor Curate--The BishopTHE POOR CURATE. THE BISHOP.

THE POOR CURATE. THE BISHOP.

Numeration teaches the different value of figures by their differentplaces(see Walkinghame, Court Guide, Law List, &c.); also the value of ciphers, or noughts, according to their relative situations (see Intellectual Calculator, or Martin's Arithmetical Frames). As regards the value of figures in places, we have illustrations in sinecuresof all grades, from the Lords of the Treasury to the meanest underling of the Stamp-Office.

Place and pension make theunitamultitude, according to the position of the noughts,—that is, that large portion of the public called the nobodies. The more a man is surrounded by his inferiors, the greater he becomes. Hence the necessity of restrictive tariffs to prevent wealth in a community,—and of impediments to education. It is not, therefore,naughtyfor our betters to keep us down by any kind of mystification; as the sun always looks larger through a fog.

The value of figures and of ciphers will be well understood in the following table, which ought to be committed faithfully to memory. It will be seen that when the noughts, the nobodies, that is, the people, go before the legislative units, their value is consequently decreased; but when they follow as good backers in good measures, the value of the characters is increasedad infinitum.

Our life is an addition sum; sometimes long, sometimes short; and Death, with "jaws capacious," sums up the whole of ourhumanity by making the "tottle" of the whole.

Man is an adding animal; his instinct is, to get. He is an illustration of the verb, to get, in all its inflexions and conjugations; and thus we get and beget, till we ourselves are added to our fathers.

There are many ways of performing addition, as in the following: a young grab-all comes upon the fumblers at long-taw, as Columbus did upon the Indians; or, as every thrifty nation does upon the weak or unsuspicious, and cries "Smuggins!"

Addition is also performed in a less daring manner by the save-all process, till Death, with his extinguisher, shuts the miser up in his own smoke.

A Save-allA SAVE-ALL.

A SAVE-ALL.

Addition may also be performed bysubtractionby other methods. It is one to make "Jim along Josey!" the watchword, as Joey does in the pantomime.

If you would be merry,And never would fret,Then, get all you can,And keep all you get.

If you would be merry,

And never would fret,

Then, get all you can,

And keep all you get.

Mihi Cura FuturiMIHI CURA FUTURI.

MIHI CURA FUTURI.

Addition teaches, also, to addunitstogether, and to find their sum total, as A + B = 2. A bachelor is aunit; a Benedict,unitee.

Matrimonial Addition.—By common ciphering 1 and 1 make 2. But, by the mathematics of matrimony, 1 and 1 will produce from 1 to 20, arranged in row, one above another, like a flight ofstairs. They make a pretty addition to a man'seffects, as well as to hisincome; and, if not themselvescapital, are acapitalstimulus to exertion. Surrounded by these special pleaders, a man becomes as sharp-set as a Lancashire ferret, and looks as fierce as a rat-catcher's dog at a sink-hole. Such men ought to be labelled, "Beware of this unfortunate dog!" for he would bite at a file!

A Man of many WoesA MAN OF MANY WOES.

A MAN OF MANY WOES.

Adding to your name.—This is another mode of performing addition. It is not necessary to goto an university for this, any more than it is necessary to go to a church to get married. The thing can now be done without it. Schoolmasters, and pettifoggers of all kinds, will find this an excellent piece of practical wisdom.

"Oh! Mrs. Wiggins, I declareI never heard the like!The wretch knows how to curse and swear,To bite, and scratch, and strike!"All day he's tossicated, andAll night he roams about;But that is lucky, sure, for heIs worse when in than out.""If this is what you get when wed,I'm glad I yet have tarried:—Better to keep one's single bed,Than venture to get married."But such a monster! By and byThat idle minx, his wife,With all her mawkish tenderness,Must 'gainst him swear her life."The fine piano long ago,Just after my last rout,With candlesticks and cruets too,Are all gone up the spout."And bills return'd, as I have heard,Last week, one, two, or three;And summonses for grocery—'Tis nothing, though, to me."They live like cat and dog. I ownShe alwayswasa scold.She broke the table on his crown;So I was lately told."'Tis nothing, though, my dear, to me,As I before have said.If married people don't agree,They ought not to get wed."

"Oh! Mrs. Wiggins, I declareI never heard the like!The wretch knows how to curse and swear,To bite, and scratch, and strike!

"Oh! Mrs. Wiggins, I declare

I never heard the like!

The wretch knows how to curse and swear,

To bite, and scratch, and strike!

"All day he's tossicated, andAll night he roams about;But that is lucky, sure, for heIs worse when in than out."

"All day he's tossicated, and

All night he roams about;

But that is lucky, sure, for he

Is worse when in than out."

"If this is what you get when wed,I'm glad I yet have tarried:—Better to keep one's single bed,Than venture to get married.

"If this is what you get when wed,

I'm glad I yet have tarried:—

Better to keep one's single bed,

Than venture to get married.

"But such a monster! By and byThat idle minx, his wife,With all her mawkish tenderness,Must 'gainst him swear her life.

"But such a monster! By and by

That idle minx, his wife,

With all her mawkish tenderness,

Must 'gainst him swear her life.

"The fine piano long ago,Just after my last rout,With candlesticks and cruets too,Are all gone up the spout.

"The fine piano long ago,

Just after my last rout,

With candlesticks and cruets too,

Are all gone up the spout.

"And bills return'd, as I have heard,Last week, one, two, or three;And summonses for grocery—'Tis nothing, though, to me.

"And bills return'd, as I have heard,

Last week, one, two, or three;

And summonses for grocery—

'Tis nothing, though, to me.

"They live like cat and dog. I ownShe alwayswasa scold.She broke the table on his crown;So I was lately told.

"They live like cat and dog. I own

She alwayswasa scold.

She broke the table on his crown;

So I was lately told.

"'Tis nothing, though, my dear, to me,As I before have said.If married people don't agree,They ought not to get wed."

"'Tis nothing, though, my dear, to me,

As I before have said.

If married people don't agree,

They ought not to get wed."

To go back a little to first principles, which should never be lost sight of in the teaching of any art or science, we must set forth the grand leading rule before our pupils. Addition teaches, therefore,

Get money, my son, get money,Honestly if you can;It makes life sweet as honey—My son, get money, get money!Don't stand upon ceremony,Or you may look mighty funny;But make it your constant song,Get money, get money, get money!Money makes the mare to go, boy,Where every path looks sunny.Go it! my lad, through thick and thin;Get money, get money, get money!

Get money, my son, get money,Honestly if you can;It makes life sweet as honey—My son, get money, get money!

Get money, my son, get money,

Honestly if you can;

It makes life sweet as honey—

My son, get money, get money!

Don't stand upon ceremony,Or you may look mighty funny;But make it your constant song,Get money, get money, get money!

Don't stand upon ceremony,

Or you may look mighty funny;

But make it your constant song,

Get money, get money, get money!

Money makes the mare to go, boy,Where every path looks sunny.Go it! my lad, through thick and thin;Get money, get money, get money!

Money makes the mare to go, boy,

Where every path looks sunny.

Go it! my lad, through thick and thin;

Get money, get money, get money!

No. I.—O! since the world was made from 0,And since old Time began,The maxim was, and still must be,Take care of No. I.Look at the "Times," our oracle,As sure as any gun,With hand upon the dial-plate,It points to No. I.[2]All men are fond of him, and forHis sake round earth will run,And bustle, turmoil, rub, and scrapeFor goodly No. I.The soldier, who so gallantlyHath battles nobly won,Though bravely fighting, ever stillTakes care of No. I.The mouthing prigs of Parliament,With long yarns nightly spun,Watch well for place and patronage,And all for No. I.And those who preach of charity,Enough your ears to stun,In making up their long accounts,Take care of No. I.One follows law, one physic serves,As shadows serve the sun;But briefs, and draughts, and bolusesAll make for No. I.And those that oft make love more sweetThan cakes of Sally Lunn,In all their ardour ever haveAn eye to No. I.In short, mankind, both young and old,When serious or in fun,From hour to hour, from day to day,Take care of No. I.The rich, the poor, both high and low,Ay, every mother's son,From Court to Poor-law Union,Take care of No. I.Too bad it is to be a bore,And so my strain is done,Except it is to say once more,Take care of No. I.

No. I.—O! since the world was made from 0,And since old Time began,The maxim was, and still must be,Take care of No. I.

No. I.—O! since the world was made from 0,

And since old Time began,

The maxim was, and still must be,

Take care of No. I.

Look at the "Times," our oracle,As sure as any gun,With hand upon the dial-plate,It points to No. I.[2]

Look at the "Times," our oracle,

As sure as any gun,

With hand upon the dial-plate,

It points to No. I.[2]

All men are fond of him, and forHis sake round earth will run,And bustle, turmoil, rub, and scrapeFor goodly No. I.

All men are fond of him, and for

His sake round earth will run,

And bustle, turmoil, rub, and scrape

For goodly No. I.

The soldier, who so gallantlyHath battles nobly won,Though bravely fighting, ever stillTakes care of No. I.

The soldier, who so gallantly

Hath battles nobly won,

Though bravely fighting, ever still

Takes care of No. I.

The mouthing prigs of Parliament,With long yarns nightly spun,Watch well for place and patronage,And all for No. I.

The mouthing prigs of Parliament,

With long yarns nightly spun,

Watch well for place and patronage,

And all for No. I.

And those who preach of charity,Enough your ears to stun,In making up their long accounts,Take care of No. I.

And those who preach of charity,

Enough your ears to stun,

In making up their long accounts,

Take care of No. I.

One follows law, one physic serves,As shadows serve the sun;But briefs, and draughts, and bolusesAll make for No. I.

One follows law, one physic serves,

As shadows serve the sun;

But briefs, and draughts, and boluses

All make for No. I.

And those that oft make love more sweetThan cakes of Sally Lunn,In all their ardour ever haveAn eye to No. I.

And those that oft make love more sweet

Than cakes of Sally Lunn,

In all their ardour ever have

An eye to No. I.

In short, mankind, both young and old,When serious or in fun,From hour to hour, from day to day,Take care of No. I.

In short, mankind, both young and old,

When serious or in fun,

From hour to hour, from day to day,

Take care of No. I.

The rich, the poor, both high and low,Ay, every mother's son,From Court to Poor-law Union,Take care of No. I.

The rich, the poor, both high and low,

Ay, every mother's son,

From Court to Poor-law Union,

Take care of No. I.

Too bad it is to be a bore,And so my strain is done,Except it is to say once more,Take care of No. I.

Too bad it is to be a bore,

And so my strain is done,

Except it is to say once more,

Take care of No. I.

The Man who takes care of No. 1The man who takes care of No. 1.

The man who takes care of No. 1.

"I'll example you with thievery.The sun's a thief, and with his greatsubtractionRobs the vast sea. The moon's an arrant thief,And her pale fire she snatches from the sun.The sea's a thief, whose liquid surge resolvesThe moon into salt tears. The earth's a thief,That feeds and breeds by a composture stolenFrom general excrement: each thing's a thief.The laws you curb and whip in their rough powerHave uncheck'd theft. All that you meet areTHIEVES."Shakspere.

"I'll example you with thievery.

The sun's a thief, and with his greatsubtraction

Robs the vast sea. The moon's an arrant thief,

And her pale fire she snatches from the sun.

The sea's a thief, whose liquid surge resolves

The moon into salt tears. The earth's a thief,

That feeds and breeds by a composture stolen

From general excrement: each thing's a thief.

The laws you curb and whip in their rough power

Have uncheck'd theft. All that you meet areTHIEVES."

Shakspere.

Subtraction teaches to "take from" or to find the difference of two numbers; having taken too muchin, and sleptout; to find the difference in sovereigns and shillings between that and sleeping at home according to the "conventional laws of virtuous propriety." (VideMiss Martineau.)

The figures are to be arranged in subtraction one under the other; that line expressing thehighest number, being placed above the line expressing the smaller number. In this arrangement, the upper line is called thesubtrahend, and the lower thesubtractor; the difference is called theremainder. Our readers, the million, are the subtrahend. The following are subtractors:—

The Rule of Subtraction is perhaps the most useful in either national, political, or commercial Arithmetic; "Take from" being the universal maxim of mankind from the day that Adam and Eve stole the forbidden fruit. In sacred history we find various exemplifications of the principle: Jacob made use of it when he obtained his brother's birthright and his blessing; David, when he took the wife of Uriah. Profane or classical history abounds with examples. It was the royal and sacerdotal rule, in all climes, countries, andtimes. Kings have grown thrifty by it, and conquerors invincible. "Take from" is, in short, the motto of the legislators; andrhetoricthe soldier'swatchword, the prince'scondescension, the courtezan'ssmile, the lawyer'sbrief, the priest'sprayer, and the tradesman'scraft. The use of this rule, is to enable us to "do one another," not "as we would be done," without the contravention of the majesty of the law.

'Take from'

"For why—because the good old ruleSuffices us—the simple plan,That they shouldtakewho have the power,And they shouldkeep—who can."

"For why—because the good old rule

Suffices us—the simple plan,

That they shouldtakewho have the power,

And they shouldkeep—who can."

We have had some amusing ways of performing this rule in "by-gone ages." Among the most celebrated, wereIndulgencesandBenevolences. They worked well for those who worked ill, and led to a multiplication of heresies.

Subtraction is perhaps one of the most fashionable of all the rules; and any one who sets himself down for a gentleman must expect to be beset by a swarm of hungry locusts, who make a rule to bleed him at every pore till he becomes poor. When Edward the First took the wealth of the Jews and their teeth at the same time, he showed a fatherly consideration for those who having nothing to eat wanted neither incisores, cuspidati, bicuspidæ, or molarii. But we are to be nipped, and squeezed, and tapped, and leeched, and drained to all eternity, and are still expected to—give.

To take in.—This rule not only teaches us to take from, but also to take in, which is to take from, with true tact and skill. England is theLand of Goshen in this particular, and Smithfield the focus of the art, whence the first rule for selling a horse is—

1. Take in your own father,Or, if you would rather,You may take in your mother,Or humbug your brother;And though you just kissed her,Bamboozle your sister;Or you may sendFor your friend;Or, still fond of pelf,If you can't find an elf,You may take in yourself.

1. Take in your own father,

Or, if you would rather,

You may take in your mother,

Or humbug your brother;

And though you just kissed her,

Bamboozle your sister;

Or you may send

For your friend;

Or, still fond of pelf,

If you can't find an elf,

You may take in yourself.

Taken in and done forTAKEN IN AND DONE FOR.

TAKEN IN AND DONE FOR.

'Who steals my Purse steals Trash.'"who stealsMYpurse steals trash."

"who stealsMYpurse steals trash."

The rules already given for performing this branch of arithmetic apply to money matters; but the perfection of the art consists, not in simply taking from another what you want yourself, but that which does not enrich you, but makes him poor indeed. This has been styled, by way of eminence, the devil's subtraction, being the general essence of the black art. It is calledDetraction.

Detraction may be performed in a variety of ways, as for example:—"Oh, I know him—his great grandfather was—but no matter, and his mother—no better than she should be, but I hate to speak evil of the dead. I have enough to do to mind my own business—and yet one cannot help knowing—but yet nobody knows what he is or how he gets his money. He makes a show certainly, but I like things to be paid for before they are sported. His wife, too—what was she, do you suppose? As I have heard, a cook in a tradesman's family.—Well, a cook is not so bad after all—I am sure it is better than a doctor. But I believe he was forced to marry her.—Poor woman, she suffered, I dare say—Well, it is well it is no worse—It was the only amends he could make her—It would have been a cruel thing for the poor innocent children to be born illegitimate.—But he is still very gay—These sort of men will be—but there will be anexposésome day. Things can't go on for ever—Well, I wish them no harm, poor creatures—But do you go to their party to-night?—I go only for the sake of seeing how madam cook conducts the entertainment."

Rule for Ladies With Regard To Their Rivals.—Should any lady be so unfortunate as to fear a rival in the affections of some simple-hearted swain in the personal attractions of some youthful beauty whom he has never seen, it must be her method not to vilify her character or underrate her accomplishments,—no, this is but sorry skill. The more delicate and refined way ofsubtractingfrom her merits will be to employ unbounded panegyric, so as to raise the expectations of the feared admirer, that the real shall fall infinitely short of the ideal. This is another mode of performingsubtractionbyaddition.

Literary Subtraction.—This is of essential service to editors, reviewers, and others, who, having nothing good of their own with which to amuse the public, steal the brains of others.

Rule.—Take from a work published at a guinea all its cream and quintessence, under pretence of praising it into immortality through the pages of your fourpenny review. "Castrant alios, ut libros suos per se graciles alieno adipe suffarciant."

Mercantile Subtraction.—It is well understood in this country, that no honest man can get a living, in consequence of the extraordinary competition among us. It is therefore considered legal and justifiable for the baker to "take toll" and make "dead men;" for the licensed victualler to make "two butts out of one;" for the wine-merchant to "doctor" his port; for the butcher to "hang on Jemmy;" for the printer to make "corrections;" for the tailor to "cabbage;" for the grocer to "sand his sugar and birch-broom his tea." The milkman "waters his milk" by act of parliament; and to show that all this is in the order of Providence, the rains of heavenwet the coals.

National or Political Subtraction.—There is one part of the New Testament which all Christian rulers have religiously observed, namely, "Now, Cæsar issued a decree that all the world should be taxed." The art of taxation is, therefore, not only a religious obligation, but is the science of sciences and the most important part of National Arithmetic.

Taxation is necessary just as blood-letting is necessary in plethora. Over-feeding produces adetermination of the blood to the head, and then radical rabidity breaks out into rebellion. Over-feeding requires bleeding. There is a tendency in every industrious nation to get on too fast. Taxation is the fly-wheel which softens and regulates the motion of the national machinery, the safety valve which prevents explosion, while that accumulation of taxation called the dead weight is a "clogger" to keep things down.

Whenever there is a "rising," it is a sure sign that taxation is too light; consequently taxation should be so accommodated to the habits, tastes, and feelings of the people, as to fit them at all points, like well-made harness. If they grow too enlightened we can double the window-tax; if they be disposed to kick, put on the breeching in the shape of an income-tax; if they go too much by the head, we can raise the price of malt, and, by way of a martingale, put a duty on spirits; if they jib, we can touch them on the raw with "the house duty;" if they step out too fast, tighten the "bearing rein" by 10 per cent. on the assessment; and should any attempt be made tobolt, we can secure them with a curb, by a tax on absentees.

The perfection of taxation is to make it as much as possible like an insensible perspiration; or to cause it tosubtract, like the vampire when lulling the victim to sleep, by fanning him with the wings of patriotism and the hum-hum of a liberal oration, on the principle of

"Bleeding made easy."

'Forking up.'"FORKING UP."

"FORKING UP."

9 × 1 = 9.

Multiplication teaches a short way of adding one number together any number of times. Its sign is a cat o'-nine-tails; its symbol a whipping-post. Since the wonderful powers of the number nine have been publicly discussed, we have had no more shooting at her Majesty, (Heaven preserve her!) which shows the transcendant powers of arithmetical argument. The Egyptian plague of frogs and flies exemplifies this rule. In Modern Rome we have multiplication of fleas. In Modern Babylon we have multiplication of bugs, particularly humbugs. In the West Indies we havemultiplication of musquitoes and piccaninies, and in the East, multiplication of oneself, as in the case of Abbas Mirza and his 1000 sons for a body guard.

Multiplication of Laws.—This is a favourite amusement with our modern legislators. It naturally leads to the multiplication of lawyers, whose proper calling is to set people together by the ears, for the multiplication of dissensions. The original type of this order was the plague of locusts.

Domestic Multiplication, or Multiplication of miseries. This rule is performed by taking unto oneself a wife forbetterorworse; then, multiplying as usual, and, at the end of fifteen or twenty years, having the young "olive branches" round about our tables.

Multiplication of Money.—This is the most universal case in the whole rule. Themultipliersare theoperatives, who are placed at the bottom, instead of the top of the arithmetical scale. They may be ranged, in general, as in the following:—

These digits are to beworkedfrom fourteen to sixteen hours a-day at the lowest possible fraction of pay. The product is to be set down in the 3½ per cents. or invested in the first unjust war in which this nation may be engaged; or the whole aggregate of sums may be multiplied by monopoly.

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