ACT IV.—SCENE I.

Amph.Those heavens, and all the blessed inhabitants,[Saluting her.Grant, that the sweet rewarder of my painsMay still be kind, as on our nuptial night!Alcm.So soon returned!Amph.So soon returned! Is this thy welcome home?[Stepping back.So soon returned, says I am come unwished.This is no language of desiring love:Love reckons hours for months, and days for years;And every little absence is an age.Alcm.What says my lord?Amph.No, my Alcmena, no:True love by its impatience measures time,And the dear object never comes too soon.Alcm.Nor ever came you so, nor ever shall;But you yourself are changed from what you were,Palled in desires, and surfeited of bliss.Not so I met you at your last return;When yesternight I flew into your arms,And melted in your warm embrace.Amph.How's this?Alcm.Did not my soul even sparkle at my eyes,And shoot itself into your much-loved bosom?Did I not tremble with excess of joy?Nay agonize with pleasure at your sight,With such inimitable proofs of passion,As no false love could feign?Amph.What's this you tell me?Alcm.Far short of truth, by heaven!And you returned those proofs with usury;And left me, with a sigh, at break of day.Have you forgot?Amph.Or have you dreamt, Alcmena?Perhaps some kind, revealing deityHas whispered, in your sleep, the pleasing newsOf my return, and you believed it real;Perhaps too, in your dream, you used me kindly;And my preventing image reaped the joysYou meant, awake, to me.Alcm.Some melancholy vapour, sure, has seizedYour brain, Amphitryon, and disturbed your sense;Or yesternight is not so long a time,But yet you might remember; and not forceAn honest blush into my glowing cheeks,For that which lawful marriage makes no crime.Amph.I thank you for my melancholy vapour.Alcm.'Tis but a just requital for my dream.Phæd.I find my master took too much of the creature last night,[Aside.]and now is angling for a quarrel, that no more may be expected from him to-night, when he has no assets.[In the mean time,Amph.andAlc.walk bythemselves, and frown at each other as they meet.Amph.You dare not justify it to my face.Alcm.Not what?Amph.That I returned before this hour.Alcm.You dare not, sure, deny you came last night,And staid till break of day?Amph.O impudence!—Why Sosia!Sos.Nay, I say nothing; for all things here may go by enchantment, as they did with me, for aught I know.Alcm.Speak, Phædra,—was he here?Phæd.You know, madam, I am but a chamber-maid; and, by my place, I am to forget all that was done over night in love-matters,—unless my master please to rub up my memory with another diamond.Amph.Now, in the name of all the gods, Alcmena,A little recollect your scattered thoughts,And weigh what you have said.Alcm.I weighed it well, Amphitryon, ere I spoke:And she, and Bromia, all the slaves and servants,Can witness they beheld you, when you came.If other proof were wanting, tell me howI came to know your fight, your victory,The death of Pterelas in single combat?And farther, from whose hands I had a jewel,The spoils of him you slew?Amph.This is amazing!Have I already given you those diamonds,The present I reserved?Alcm.'Tis an odd question:You see I wear them; look.Amph.Now answer, Sosia.Sos.Yes, now I can answer with a safe conscience, as to that point; all the rest may be art magic, but, as for the diamonds, here they are, under safe custody.Alcm.Then what are these upon my arm?[ToSosia.Sos.Flints, or pebbles, or some such trumpery of enchanted stones.Phæd.They say, the proof of a true diamond is to glitter in the dark: I think my master had best take my lady into some by-corner, and try whose diamond will sparkle best.Sos.Yet, now I think on't, madam, did not a certain friend of mine present them to you?Alcm.What friend?Sos.Why another Sosia, one that made himself Sosia in my despite, and also unsosiated me.Amph.Sirrah, leave your nauseous nonsense; break open the seal, and take out the diamonds.Sos.More words than one to a bargain, sir. I I thank you,—that's no part of prudence for me to commit burglary upon the seals: Do you look first upon the signet, and tell me, in your conscience, whether the seals be not as firm as when you clapt the wax upon them.Amph.The signature is firm.[Looking.Sos.Then take the signature into your own custody, and open it; for I will have nothing done at my proper peril.[Giving him the Casket.Amph.O heavens! here's nothing but an empty space, the nest where they were laid.[Breaking open the Seal.Sos.Then, if the birds are flown, the fault's not mine. Here has been fine conjuring work; or elsethe jewel, knowing to whom it should be given, took occasion to steal out, by a natural instinct, and tied itself to that pretty arm.Amph.Can this be possible?Sos.Yes, very possible: You, my lord Amphitryon, may have brought forth another. You my lord Amphitryon, as well as I, Sosia, have brought forth another Me, Sosia; and our diamonds may have procreated these diamonds, and so we are all three double.Phæd.If this be true, I hope my goblet has gigged another golden goblet; and then they may carry double upon all four.[Aside.Alcm.My lord, I have stood silent, out of wonderWhat you could wonder at.Amph.A chilling sweat, a damp of jealousy,Hangs on my brows, and clams upon my limbs.I fear, and yet I must be satisfied;And, to be satisfied, I must dissemble.[Aside.Alcm.Why muse you so, and murmur to yourself?If you repent your bounty, take it back.Amph.Not so; but, if you please, relate what pastAt our last interview.Alcm.That question would infer you were not here.Amph.I say not so;I only would refresh my memory,And have my reasons to desire the story.Phæd.So, this is as good sport for me, as an examination of a great belly before a magistrate.Alcm.The story is not long: you know I met you,Kissed you, and pressed you close within my arms,With all the tenderness of wifely love.Amph.I could have spared that kindness.—[Aside.And what did I?Alcm.You strained me with a masculine embrace,As you would squeeze my soul out.Amph.Did I so?Alcm.You did.Amph.Confound those arms that were so kind!—[Aside.Proceed, proceed——[To her.Alcm.You would not stay to sup; but much complaining of your drowsiness, and want of natural rest——Amph.Made haste to bed: Ha, was't not so?Go on—[Aside.]And stab me with each syllable thou speak'st.Phæd.So, now 'tis coming, now 'tis coming.Alcm.I have no more to say.Amph.Why, went we not to bed?Alcm.Why not?Is it a crime for husband and for wifeTo go to bed, my lord?Amph.Perfidious woman!Alcm.Ungrateful man!Amph.She justifies it too!Alcm.I need not justify: Of what am I accused?Amph.Of all that prodigality of kindnessGiven to another, and usurped from me.So bless me, Heaven, if, since my first departure,I ever set my foot upon this threshold!So am I innocent of all those joys,And dry of those embraces.Alcm.Then I, it seems, am false!Amph.As surely false, as what thou say'st is true.Alcm.I have betrayed my honour, and my love,And am a foul adultress?Amph.What thou art,Thou stand'st condemned to be, by thy relation.Alcm.Go, thou unworthy man! for ever go:No more my husband: go, thou base impostor!Who tak'st a vile pretence to taint my fame,And, not content to leave, wouldst ruin me.Enjoy thy wished divorce: I will not pleadMy innocence of this pretended crime;I need not. Spit thy venom; do thy worst;But know, the more thou wouldst expose my virtue,Like purest linen laid in open air,'Twill bleach the more, and whiten to the view.Amph.'Tis well thou art prepared for thy divorce:For, know thou too, that, after this affront,This foul indignity done to my honour,Divorcement is but petty reparation.But, since thou hast, with impudence, affirmedMy false return, and bribed my slaves to vouch it,The truth shall, in the face of Thebes, be cleared:Thy uncle, the companion of my voyage,And all the crew of seamen shall be brought,Who were embarked, and came with me to land,Nor parted, till I reached this cursed door:So shall this vision of my late returnStand a detected lie; and woe to those,Who thus betrayed my honour!Sos.Sir, shall I wait on you?Amph.No, I will go alone. Expect me here.[ExitAmphitryon.Phæd.Please you, that I——[ToAlcmena.Alcm.Oh! nothing now can please me:Darkness, and solitude, and sighs, and tears,And all the inseparable train of grief,Attend my steps for ever.——[ExitAlcmena.Sos.What if I should lie now, and say we have been here before? I never saw any good that came of telling truth.[Aside.Phæd.He makes no more advances to me: I begin a little to suspect, that my gold goblet will prove but copper.[Aside.Sos.Yes, 'tis resolved, I will lie abominably, against the light of my own conscience. For, suppose the other Sosia has been here, perhaps thatstrong dog has not only beaten me, but also has been predominant upon my wife, and most carnally misused her! Now, by asking certain questions of her, with a side-wind, I may come to understand how squares go, and whether my nuptial bed be violated.[Aside.Phæd.Most certainly he has learned impudence of his master, and will deny his being here; but that shall not serve his turn, to cheat me of my present.[Aside.]—Why, Sosia! What, in a brown study?Sos.A littlecogitabund, or so, concerning this dismal revolution in our family.Phæd.But that should not make you neglect your duty to me, your mistress.Sos.Pretty soul! I would thou wert, upon condition that old Bromia were six foot under ground.Phæd.What! is all your hot courtship to me dwindled into a poor unprofitable wish? You may remember, I did not bid you absolutely despair.Sos.No, for all things yet may be accommodated, in an amicable manner, betwixt my master and my lady.Phæd.I mean, to the business betwixt you and me—Sos.Why, I hope we two never quarrelled?Phæd.Must I remember you of a certain promise, that you made me at our last parting?Sos.Oh, when I went to the army: that I should still be praising thy beauty to judge Gripus, and keep up his affections to thee?Phæd.No, I mean the business betwixt you and me this morning—that you promised me——Sos.That I promised thee—I find it now. That strong dog, my brother Sosia, has been here before me, and made love to her.[Aside.Phæd.You are considering, whether or no you should keep your promise—Sos.That I should keep my promise.—The truth on't is, she's another-guess morsel than old Bromia.[Aside.Phæd.And I had rather you should break it, in a manner, and as it were, and in some sense——Sos.In a manner, and as it were, and in some sense, thou say'st?—I find, the strong dog has only tickled up her imagination, and not enjoyed her; so that, with my own limbs, I may perform the sweetness of his function with her.[Aside.]—No, sweet creature, the promise shall not be broken; but what I have undertaken, I will perform like a man of honour.Phæd.Then you remember the preliminaries of the present——Sos.Yes, yes, in gross I do remember something; but this disturbance of the family has somewhat stupified my memory. Some prettyquelque chose, I warrant thee; some acceptable toy, of small value.Phæd.You may call a gold goblet a toy; but I put a greater value upon your presents.Sos.A gold goblet, say'st thou! Yes, now I think on't, it was a kind of a gold goblet, as a gratuity after consummation.Phæd.No, no; I had rather make sure of one bribe beforehand, than be promised ten gratuities.Sos.Yes, now I remember, it was, in some sense, a gold goblet, by way of earnest; and it contained—Phæd.One large—Sos.How, one large—Phæd.Gallon.Sos.No; that was somewhat too large, in conscience: It was not a whole gallon; but it may contain, reasonably speaking, one large—thimble-full;but gallons and thimble-fulls are so like, that, in speaking, I might easily mistake them.Phæd.Is it come to this?—Out, traitor!Sos.I had been a traitor, indeed, to have betrayed thee to the swallowing of a gallon; but a thimble-full of cordial water is easily sipt off: and then, this same goblet is so very light too, that it will be no burden to carry it about with thee in thy pocket.Phæd.O apostate to thy love! O perjured villain!—EnterBromia.What, are you here, Bromia? I was telling him his own: I was giving him a rattle for his treacheries to you, his love: You see I can be a friend, upon occasion.Brom.Ay, chicken, I never doubted of thy kindness; but, for this fugitive—this rebel—this miscreant——Sos.A kind welcome, to an absent lover, as I have been.Brom.Ay; and a kind greeting you gave me, at your return; when you used me so barbarously this morning.Sos.The t'other Sosia has been with her too; and has used her barbarously: barbarously,—that is to say, uncivilly: and uncivilly,—I am afraid that means too civilly.[Aside.Phæd.You had best deny you were here this morning! And by the same token——Sos.Nay, no more tokens, for Heaven's sake, dear Phædra.—Now must I ponder with myself a little, whether it be better for me to have been here, or not to have been here, this morning.[Aside.Enter a Servant.Serv.Phædra, my lord's without; and will not enter till he has first spoken with you.[Exit Serv.Phæd.[To him in private.]Oh, that I could stay to help worry thee for this abuse; but the best on't is, I leave thee in good hands.——Farewell, Thimble——To him, Bromia.[ExitPhædra.Brom.No; you did not beat me, and put me into a swoon, and deprive me of the natural use of my tongue for a long half hour: you did not beat me down with your little wand:—but I shall teach you to use your rod another time——I shall.Sos.Put her into a swoon, with my little wand, and so forth! That's more than ever I could do. These are terrible circumstances, that some Sosia or other has been here. Now, if he has literally beaten her, gramercy, brother Sosia! he has but done what I would have done, if I had durst. But I am afraid it was only a damned love-figure; and that the wand, that laid her asleep, might signify the peace-maker.[Aside.Brom.Now you are snuffling up on a cold scent, for some pitiful excuse. I know you; twenty to one, but you will plead a drunkenness; you are used to be pot-valiant.Sos.I was pumping, and I thank her, she has invented for me.—Yes, Bromia, I must confess I was exalted; and, possibly, I might scour upon thee, or perhaps be a little more familiar with thy person, by the way of kindness, than if I had been sober: but, pr'ythee, inform me what I did, that I may consider what satisfaction I am to make thee.Brom.Are you there at your dog-tricks! You would be forgetting, would you? like a drunken bully that affronts over night, and, when he is calledto account the next morning, remembers nothing of the quarrel; and asks pardon, to avoid fighting.Sos.By Bacchus, I was overtaken; but I should be loth that I committed any folly with thee.Brom.I am sure, I kept myself awake all night, that I did, in expectation of your coming.[Crying.Sos.But what amends did I make thee, when I came?Brom.You know well enough, to my sorrow, but that you play the hypocrite.Sos.I warrant, I was monstrous kind to thee.Brom.Yes, monstrous kind indeed: You never said a truer word; for, when I came to kiss you, you pulled away your mouth, and turned your cheek to me.Sos.Good.Brom.How, good! Here's fine impudence! He justifies!Sos.Yes, I do justify, that I turned my cheek, like a prudent person, that my breath might not offend thee; for, now I remember, I had eaten garlick.Brom.Ay, you remember, and forget, just as it makes for you, or against you; but, to mend the matter, you never spoke one civil word to me; but stood like a stock, without sense or motion.Sos.Yet better.[Aside.Brom.After which, I lovingly invited you to take your place in your nuptial bed, as the laws of matrimony oblige you; and you inhumanly refused me.Sos.Ay, there's the main point of the business! Art thou morally certain, that I refused thee? Look me now in the face, and say I did not commit matrimony with thee!Brom.I wonder how thou canst look me in the face, after that refusal!Sos.Say it once again, that I did not feloniously come to bed to thee!Brom.No, thou cold traitor, thou know'st thou didst not.Sos.Best of all!—'twas discreetly done of me to abstain.Brom.What, do you insult upon me too?Sos.No, I do not insult upon you——but—Brom.But what? How was it discreetly done then? ha!Sos.Because it is the received opinion of physicians, that nothing but puling chits, and booby-fools are procreated in drunkenness.Brom.A received opinion, snivel-guts! I'll be judged by all the married women of this town, if any one of them has received it. The devil take the physicians for meddling in our matters! If a husband will be ruled by them, there are five weeks of abstinence in dog-days too; for fear a child, that was got in August, should be born just nine months after, and be blear-eyed, like a May kitten.Sos.Let the physicians alone; they are honest men, whatever the world says of them. But, for a certain reason, that I best know, I am glad that matter ended so fairly and peaceably betwixt us.Brom.Yes, 'twas very fair and peaceably; to strike a woman down, and beat her most outrageously.Sos.Is't possible that I drubbed thee?Brom.I find your drift; you would fain be provoking me to a new trial now: but, i'faith, you shall bring me to no more handy-blows; I shall make bold to trust to my tongue hereafter. You never durst have offered to hold up a finger against me, till you went a trooping.Sos.Then I am a conqueror; and I laud my owncourage: this renown I have atchieved by soldier-ship and stratagem. Know your duty, spouse, hence-forward, to your supreme commander.[Strutting.EnterJupiterandPhædra,attended by Musicians and Dancers.Phæd.Indeed I wondered at your quick return.Jup.Even so almighty love will have it, Phædra;And the stern goddess of sweet-bitter cares,Who bows our necks beneath her brazen yoke.I would have manned my heart, and held it out;But, when I thought of what I had possessed,Those joys, that never end, but to begin,O, I am all on fire to make my peace;And die, Jove knows, as much as I can die,Till I am reconciled.Phæd.I fear 'twill be in vain.Jup.'Tis difficult:But nothing is impossible to love;To love like mine; for I have proved his force,And my Alcmena too has felt his dart.If I submit, there's hope.Phæd.'Tis possible I may solicit for you.Jup.But wilt thou promise me to do thy best?Phæd.Nay, I promise nothing—unless you begin to promise first.[Curtsying.Jup.I will not be ungrateful.Phæd.Well; I'll try to bring her to the window; you shall have a fair shot at her; if you can bring her down, you are a good marksman.Jup.That's all I ask;And I will so reward thee, gentle Phædra—Phæd.What, with catsguts and rosin! ThisSollais but a lamentable empty sound.Jup.Then, there's a sound will please thee better.[Throwing her a purse.Phæd.Ay, there's something of melody in thissound. I could dance all day to the music ofChink, Chink.Jup.Go, Sosia, round our Thebes,To Polidas, to Tranio, and to Gripus,Companions of our war; invite them allTo join their prayers to smooth Alcmena's brow,And, with a solemn feast, to crown the day.Sos.[TakingJupiterabout the knees.]Let me embrace you, sir.[Jupiterpushes him away.]Nay, you must give me leave to express my gratitude; I have not eaten, to say eating, nor drunk, to say drinking, never since our villainous encamping so near the enemy. It is true, I escaped the bloody-flux, because I had so little in my bowels to come out; and I durst let nothing go, in conscience, because I had nothing to swallow in the room on't.Jup.You, Bromia, see that all things be prepared, With that magnificence, as if some god Were guest or master here.Sos.Or rather, as much as if twenty gods were to be guests or masters here.Brom.That you may eat for to-day and to-morrow.Sos.Or, rather again, for to-day and yesterday, and as many months backward, as I am indebted to my own belly.Jup.Away, both of you.—[ExeuntSosiaandBromiaseverally.Now I have packed him hence, thou other Sosia,(Who, though thou art not present, hear'st my voice)Be ready to attend me at my call,And to supply his place.EnterMercurytoJupiter;AlcmenaandPhædraappear above.See, she appears:[SeeingAlcmena.This is my bribe to Phædra; when I madeThis gold, I made a greater God than Jove,And gave my own omnipotence away.Jupitersigns to the Musicians. Song and Dance:After which,Alcmenawithdraws, frowning.SONG.I.Celia, that I once was blestIs now the torment of my breast;Since, to curse me, you bereave meOf the pleasures I possest:Cruel creature, to deceive me!First to love, and then to leave me!II.Had you the bliss refused to grant,Then I had never known the want:But possessing once the blessing,Is the cause of my complaint;Once possessing is but tasting;'Tis no bliss that is not lasting.III.Celia now is mine no more;But I am her's, and must adore,Nor to leave her will endeavour;Charms, that captived me before,No unkindness can dissever;Love, that's true, is love for ever.Jup.O stay.Merc.She's gone; and seemed to frown at parting.Jup.Follow, and thou shalt see her soon appeased;For I, who made her, know her inward state;No woman, once well-pleased, can throughly hate.I gave them beauty to subdue the strong,—A mighty empire, but it lasts not long.I gave them pride, to make mankind their slave;But, in exchange, to men I flattery gave.The offending lover, when he lowest lies,Submits, to conquer; and but kneels, to rise.ACT IV.—SCENE I.JupiterfollowingAlcmena;MercuryandPhædra.Jup.O stay, my dear Alcmena; hear me speak!Alcm.No, I would fly thee to the ridge of earth,And leap the precipice, to 'scape thy sight.Jup.For pity——Alcm.Leave me, thou ungrateful man.Jup.I cannot leave you; no, but like a ghost,Whom your unkindness murdered, will I haunt you.Alcm.Once more, be gone; I'm odious to myself,For having loved thee once.Jup.Hate not, the best and fairest of your kind!Nor can you hate your lover, though you would:Your tears, that fall so gently, are but grief:There may be anger; but there must be love.The dove, that murmurs at her mate's neglect,But counterfeits a coyness, to be courted.Alcm.Courtship from thee, and after such affronts!Jup.Is this that everlasting love you vowedLast night, when I was circled in your arms?Remember what you swore.Alcm.Think what thou wert, and who could swear too much?Think what thou art, and that unswears it all.Jup.Can you forsake me, for so small a fault?'Twas but a jest, perhaps too far pursued;'Twas but, at most, a trial of your faith,How you could bear unkindness;'Twas but to get a reconciling kiss,A wanton stratagem of love.Alcm.See how he doubles, like a hunted hare:A jest, and then a trial, and a bait;All stuff, and daubing!Jup.Think me jealous, then.Alcm.O that I could! for that's a noble crime,And which a lover can with ease forgive;'Tis the high pulse of passion in a fever;A sickly draught, but shews a burning thirst:Thine was a surfeit, not a jealousy;And in that loathing of thy full-gorged love,Thou saw'st the nauseous object with disdain.Jup.O think not that! for you are ever new:Your fruits of love are like eternal spring,In happy climes, where some are in the bud,Some green, and ripening some, while others fall.Alcm.Ay, now you tell me this,When roused desires, and fresh recruits of force,Enable languished love to take the field:But never hope to be received again;You would again deny you were received,And brand my spotless fame.Jup.I will not dare to justify my crime,But only point you where to lay the blame;Impute it to the husband, not the lover.Alcm.How vainly would the sophister divide,And make the husband and the lover two!Jup.Yes, 'tis the husband is the guilty wretch;His insolence forgot the sweets of love,And, deeming them his due, despised the feast.Not so the famished lover could forget;He knew he had been there, and had been blestWith all that hope could wish, or sense can bear.Alcm.Husband and lover, both alike I hate.Jup.And I confess I have deserved that hate.Too charming fair, I kneel for your forgiveness:[Kneeling.I beg, by those fair eyesWhich gave me wounds, that time can never cure,Receive my sorrows, and restore my joys.Alcm.Unkind, and cruel! I can speak no more.Jup.O give it vent, Alcmena, give it vent;I merit your reproach, I would be cursed;Let your tongue curse me, while your heart forgives.Alcm.Can I forget such usage?Jup.Can you hate me?Alcm.I'll do my best; for sure I ought to hate you.Jup.That word was only hatched upon your tongue,It came not from your heart. But try again,And if, once more, you can but say,—I hate you,My sword shall do you justice.Alcm.Then—I hate you.Jup.Then you pronounce the sentence of my death.Alcm.I hate you much, but yet—I love you more.Jup.To prove that love, then say, that you forgive me;For there remains but this alternative,—Resolve to pardon, or to punish me.Alcm.Alas! what I resolve appears too plain;In saying that I cannot hate, I pardon.Jup.But what's a pardon worth without a seal?Permit me, in this transport of my joy——[Kisses her hand.Alcm.Forbear; I am offended with myself,[Putting him gently away with her hand.That I have shewn this weakness.—Let me go,Where I may blush alone;—[Going, and looking back on him.But come not you,Lest I should spoil you with excess of fondness,And let you love again.[ExitAlcmena.Jup.Forbidding me to follow, she invites me:—This is the mould of which I made the sex:I gave them but one tongue, to say us nay;And two kind eyes to grant.—Be sure that noneApproach, to interrupt our privacy.[ToMerc.[ExitJupiterafterAlcmena.MercuryandPhædraremain.Merc.Your lady has made the challenge of reconciliation to my lord: here's a fair example for us two, Phædra.Phæd.No example at all, Sosia; for my lady had the diamonds beforehand, and I have none of the gold goblet.Merc.The goblet shall be forthcoming, if thou wilt give me weight for weight.Phæd.Yes, and measure for measure too, Sosia; that is, for a thimble-full of gold, a thimble-full of love.Merc.What think you now, Phædra? Here's a weighty argument of love for you.[Pulling out the Goblet in a case from under his Cloak.Phæd.Now Jupiter, of his mercy, let me kiss thee, O thou dear metal![Taking it in both hands.Merc.And Venus, of her mercy, let me kiss thee, dear, dear Phædra!Phæd.Not so fast, Sosia; there's a damned proverb in your way,—"Many things happen betwixt the cup and the lip," you know.Merc.Why, thou wilt not cheat me of my goblet?Phæd.Yes, as sure as you would cheat me of my maidenhead: I am yet but just even with you,for the last trick you played me. And, besides, this is but a bare retaining fee; you must give me another before the cause is opened.Merc.Shall I not come to your bed-side to-night?Phæd.No, nor to-morrow night neither; but this shall be my sweetheart in your place: 'tis a better bedfellow, and will keep me warmer in cold weather.[ExitPhædra.Mercuryalone.Merc.Now, what's the god of wit in a woman's hand? This very goblet I stole from Gripus; and he got it out of bribes, too. But this is the common fate of ill-gotten goods, that, as they came in by covetousness, they go out by whoring.—EnterAmphitryon.Oh, here's Amphitryon again; but I'll manage him above in the balcony[ExitMercury.

Amph.Those heavens, and all the blessed inhabitants,[Saluting her.Grant, that the sweet rewarder of my painsMay still be kind, as on our nuptial night!

Amph.Those heavens, and all the blessed inhabitants,[Saluting her.

Grant, that the sweet rewarder of my pains

May still be kind, as on our nuptial night!

Alcm.So soon returned!

Amph.So soon returned! Is this thy welcome home?[Stepping back.So soon returned, says I am come unwished.This is no language of desiring love:Love reckons hours for months, and days for years;And every little absence is an age.

Amph.So soon returned! Is this thy welcome home?[Stepping back.

So soon returned, says I am come unwished.

This is no language of desiring love:

Love reckons hours for months, and days for years;

And every little absence is an age.

Alcm.What says my lord?

Amph.No, my Alcmena, no:True love by its impatience measures time,And the dear object never comes too soon.

Amph.No, my Alcmena, no:

True love by its impatience measures time,

And the dear object never comes too soon.

Alcm.Nor ever came you so, nor ever shall;But you yourself are changed from what you were,Palled in desires, and surfeited of bliss.Not so I met you at your last return;When yesternight I flew into your arms,And melted in your warm embrace.

Alcm.Nor ever came you so, nor ever shall;

But you yourself are changed from what you were,

Palled in desires, and surfeited of bliss.

Not so I met you at your last return;

When yesternight I flew into your arms,

And melted in your warm embrace.

Amph.How's this?

Alcm.Did not my soul even sparkle at my eyes,And shoot itself into your much-loved bosom?Did I not tremble with excess of joy?Nay agonize with pleasure at your sight,With such inimitable proofs of passion,As no false love could feign?

Alcm.Did not my soul even sparkle at my eyes,

And shoot itself into your much-loved bosom?

Did I not tremble with excess of joy?

Nay agonize with pleasure at your sight,

With such inimitable proofs of passion,

As no false love could feign?

Amph.What's this you tell me?

Alcm.Far short of truth, by heaven!And you returned those proofs with usury;And left me, with a sigh, at break of day.Have you forgot?Amph.Or have you dreamt, Alcmena?Perhaps some kind, revealing deityHas whispered, in your sleep, the pleasing newsOf my return, and you believed it real;Perhaps too, in your dream, you used me kindly;And my preventing image reaped the joysYou meant, awake, to me.Alcm.Some melancholy vapour, sure, has seizedYour brain, Amphitryon, and disturbed your sense;Or yesternight is not so long a time,But yet you might remember; and not forceAn honest blush into my glowing cheeks,For that which lawful marriage makes no crime.Amph.I thank you for my melancholy vapour.

Alcm.Far short of truth, by heaven!

And you returned those proofs with usury;

And left me, with a sigh, at break of day.

Have you forgot?

Amph.Or have you dreamt, Alcmena?Perhaps some kind, revealing deityHas whispered, in your sleep, the pleasing newsOf my return, and you believed it real;Perhaps too, in your dream, you used me kindly;And my preventing image reaped the joysYou meant, awake, to me.

Amph.Or have you dreamt, Alcmena?

Perhaps some kind, revealing deity

Has whispered, in your sleep, the pleasing news

Of my return, and you believed it real;

Perhaps too, in your dream, you used me kindly;

And my preventing image reaped the joys

You meant, awake, to me.

Alcm.Some melancholy vapour, sure, has seizedYour brain, Amphitryon, and disturbed your sense;Or yesternight is not so long a time,But yet you might remember; and not forceAn honest blush into my glowing cheeks,For that which lawful marriage makes no crime.

Alcm.Some melancholy vapour, sure, has seized

Your brain, Amphitryon, and disturbed your sense;

Or yesternight is not so long a time,

But yet you might remember; and not force

An honest blush into my glowing cheeks,

For that which lawful marriage makes no crime.

Amph.I thank you for my melancholy vapour.

Alcm.'Tis but a just requital for my dream.Phæd.I find my master took too much of the creature last night,[Aside.]and now is angling for a quarrel, that no more may be expected from him to-night, when he has no assets.

Alcm.'Tis but a just requital for my dream.

Phæd.I find my master took too much of the creature last night,[Aside.]and now is angling for a quarrel, that no more may be expected from him to-night, when he has no assets.

[In the mean time,Amph.andAlc.walk bythemselves, and frown at each other as they meet.Amph.You dare not justify it to my face.Alcm.Not what?Amph.That I returned before this hour.Alcm.You dare not, sure, deny you came last night,And staid till break of day?Amph.O impudence!—Why Sosia!Sos.Nay, I say nothing; for all things here may go by enchantment, as they did with me, for aught I know.Alcm.Speak, Phædra,—was he here?Phæd.You know, madam, I am but a chamber-maid; and, by my place, I am to forget all that was done over night in love-matters,—unless my master please to rub up my memory with another diamond.

[In the mean time,Amph.andAlc.walk bythemselves, and frown at each other as they meet.

Amph.You dare not justify it to my face.

Alcm.Not what?

Amph.That I returned before this hour.

Alcm.You dare not, sure, deny you came last night,And staid till break of day?

Amph.O impudence!—Why Sosia!

Sos.Nay, I say nothing; for all things here may go by enchantment, as they did with me, for aught I know.

Alcm.Speak, Phædra,—was he here?

Phæd.You know, madam, I am but a chamber-maid; and, by my place, I am to forget all that was done over night in love-matters,—unless my master please to rub up my memory with another diamond.

Amph.Now, in the name of all the gods, Alcmena,A little recollect your scattered thoughts,And weigh what you have said.Alcm.I weighed it well, Amphitryon, ere I spoke:And she, and Bromia, all the slaves and servants,Can witness they beheld you, when you came.If other proof were wanting, tell me howI came to know your fight, your victory,The death of Pterelas in single combat?And farther, from whose hands I had a jewel,The spoils of him you slew?Amph.This is amazing!Have I already given you those diamonds,The present I reserved?Alcm.'Tis an odd question:You see I wear them; look.

Amph.Now, in the name of all the gods, Alcmena,A little recollect your scattered thoughts,And weigh what you have said.

Amph.Now, in the name of all the gods, Alcmena,

A little recollect your scattered thoughts,

And weigh what you have said.

Alcm.I weighed it well, Amphitryon, ere I spoke:And she, and Bromia, all the slaves and servants,Can witness they beheld you, when you came.If other proof were wanting, tell me howI came to know your fight, your victory,The death of Pterelas in single combat?And farther, from whose hands I had a jewel,The spoils of him you slew?

Alcm.I weighed it well, Amphitryon, ere I spoke:

And she, and Bromia, all the slaves and servants,

Can witness they beheld you, when you came.

If other proof were wanting, tell me how

I came to know your fight, your victory,

The death of Pterelas in single combat?

And farther, from whose hands I had a jewel,

The spoils of him you slew?

Amph.This is amazing!Have I already given you those diamonds,The present I reserved?

Amph.This is amazing!

Have I already given you those diamonds,

The present I reserved?

Alcm.'Tis an odd question:You see I wear them; look.

Alcm.'Tis an odd question:

You see I wear them; look.

Amph.Now answer, Sosia.Sos.Yes, now I can answer with a safe conscience, as to that point; all the rest may be art magic, but, as for the diamonds, here they are, under safe custody.Alcm.Then what are these upon my arm?[ToSosia.Sos.Flints, or pebbles, or some such trumpery of enchanted stones.Phæd.They say, the proof of a true diamond is to glitter in the dark: I think my master had best take my lady into some by-corner, and try whose diamond will sparkle best.Sos.Yet, now I think on't, madam, did not a certain friend of mine present them to you?Alcm.What friend?Sos.Why another Sosia, one that made himself Sosia in my despite, and also unsosiated me.Amph.Sirrah, leave your nauseous nonsense; break open the seal, and take out the diamonds.Sos.More words than one to a bargain, sir. I I thank you,—that's no part of prudence for me to commit burglary upon the seals: Do you look first upon the signet, and tell me, in your conscience, whether the seals be not as firm as when you clapt the wax upon them.Amph.The signature is firm.[Looking.Sos.Then take the signature into your own custody, and open it; for I will have nothing done at my proper peril.[Giving him the Casket.Amph.O heavens! here's nothing but an empty space, the nest where they were laid.[Breaking open the Seal.Sos.Then, if the birds are flown, the fault's not mine. Here has been fine conjuring work; or elsethe jewel, knowing to whom it should be given, took occasion to steal out, by a natural instinct, and tied itself to that pretty arm.Amph.Can this be possible?Sos.Yes, very possible: You, my lord Amphitryon, may have brought forth another. You my lord Amphitryon, as well as I, Sosia, have brought forth another Me, Sosia; and our diamonds may have procreated these diamonds, and so we are all three double.Phæd.If this be true, I hope my goblet has gigged another golden goblet; and then they may carry double upon all four.[Aside.

Amph.Now answer, Sosia.

Sos.Yes, now I can answer with a safe conscience, as to that point; all the rest may be art magic, but, as for the diamonds, here they are, under safe custody.

Alcm.Then what are these upon my arm?[ToSosia.

Sos.Flints, or pebbles, or some such trumpery of enchanted stones.

Phæd.They say, the proof of a true diamond is to glitter in the dark: I think my master had best take my lady into some by-corner, and try whose diamond will sparkle best.

Sos.Yet, now I think on't, madam, did not a certain friend of mine present them to you?

Alcm.What friend?

Sos.Why another Sosia, one that made himself Sosia in my despite, and also unsosiated me.

Amph.Sirrah, leave your nauseous nonsense; break open the seal, and take out the diamonds.

Sos.More words than one to a bargain, sir. I I thank you,—that's no part of prudence for me to commit burglary upon the seals: Do you look first upon the signet, and tell me, in your conscience, whether the seals be not as firm as when you clapt the wax upon them.

Amph.The signature is firm.[Looking.

Sos.Then take the signature into your own custody, and open it; for I will have nothing done at my proper peril.[Giving him the Casket.

Amph.O heavens! here's nothing but an empty space, the nest where they were laid.[Breaking open the Seal.

Sos.Then, if the birds are flown, the fault's not mine. Here has been fine conjuring work; or elsethe jewel, knowing to whom it should be given, took occasion to steal out, by a natural instinct, and tied itself to that pretty arm.

Amph.Can this be possible?

Sos.Yes, very possible: You, my lord Amphitryon, may have brought forth another. You my lord Amphitryon, as well as I, Sosia, have brought forth another Me, Sosia; and our diamonds may have procreated these diamonds, and so we are all three double.

Phæd.If this be true, I hope my goblet has gigged another golden goblet; and then they may carry double upon all four.[Aside.

Alcm.My lord, I have stood silent, out of wonderWhat you could wonder at.Amph.A chilling sweat, a damp of jealousy,Hangs on my brows, and clams upon my limbs.I fear, and yet I must be satisfied;And, to be satisfied, I must dissemble.[Aside.Alcm.Why muse you so, and murmur to yourself?If you repent your bounty, take it back.Amph.Not so; but, if you please, relate what pastAt our last interview.Alcm.That question would infer you were not here.Amph.I say not so;I only would refresh my memory,And have my reasons to desire the story.

Alcm.My lord, I have stood silent, out of wonderWhat you could wonder at.

Alcm.My lord, I have stood silent, out of wonder

What you could wonder at.

Amph.A chilling sweat, a damp of jealousy,Hangs on my brows, and clams upon my limbs.I fear, and yet I must be satisfied;And, to be satisfied, I must dissemble.[Aside.

Amph.A chilling sweat, a damp of jealousy,

Hangs on my brows, and clams upon my limbs.

I fear, and yet I must be satisfied;

And, to be satisfied, I must dissemble.[Aside.

Alcm.Why muse you so, and murmur to yourself?If you repent your bounty, take it back.

Alcm.Why muse you so, and murmur to yourself?

If you repent your bounty, take it back.

Amph.Not so; but, if you please, relate what pastAt our last interview.

Amph.Not so; but, if you please, relate what past

At our last interview.

Alcm.That question would infer you were not here.

Amph.I say not so;I only would refresh my memory,And have my reasons to desire the story.

Amph.I say not so;

I only would refresh my memory,

And have my reasons to desire the story.

Phæd.So, this is as good sport for me, as an examination of a great belly before a magistrate.

Alcm.The story is not long: you know I met you,Kissed you, and pressed you close within my arms,With all the tenderness of wifely love.Amph.I could have spared that kindness.—[Aside.And what did I?Alcm.You strained me with a masculine embrace,As you would squeeze my soul out.Amph.Did I so?Alcm.You did.Amph.Confound those arms that were so kind!—[Aside.Proceed, proceed——[To her.

Alcm.The story is not long: you know I met you,Kissed you, and pressed you close within my arms,With all the tenderness of wifely love.

Alcm.The story is not long: you know I met you,

Kissed you, and pressed you close within my arms,

With all the tenderness of wifely love.

Amph.I could have spared that kindness.—[Aside.And what did I?

Amph.I could have spared that kindness.—[Aside.

And what did I?

Alcm.You strained me with a masculine embrace,As you would squeeze my soul out.

Alcm.You strained me with a masculine embrace,

As you would squeeze my soul out.

Amph.Did I so?

Alcm.You did.

Amph.Confound those arms that were so kind!—[Aside.Proceed, proceed——[To her.

Amph.Confound those arms that were so kind!—[Aside.

Proceed, proceed——[To her.

Alcm.You would not stay to sup; but much complaining of your drowsiness, and want of natural rest——

Amph.Made haste to bed: Ha, was't not so?Go on—[Aside.]And stab me with each syllable thou speak'st.Phæd.So, now 'tis coming, now 'tis coming.Alcm.I have no more to say.Amph.Why, went we not to bed?Alcm.Why not?Is it a crime for husband and for wifeTo go to bed, my lord?Amph.Perfidious woman!Alcm.Ungrateful man!Amph.She justifies it too!Alcm.I need not justify: Of what am I accused?Amph.Of all that prodigality of kindnessGiven to another, and usurped from me.So bless me, Heaven, if, since my first departure,I ever set my foot upon this threshold!So am I innocent of all those joys,And dry of those embraces.Alcm.Then I, it seems, am false!Amph.As surely false, as what thou say'st is true.Alcm.I have betrayed my honour, and my love,And am a foul adultress?Amph.What thou art,Thou stand'st condemned to be, by thy relation.Alcm.Go, thou unworthy man! for ever go:No more my husband: go, thou base impostor!Who tak'st a vile pretence to taint my fame,And, not content to leave, wouldst ruin me.Enjoy thy wished divorce: I will not pleadMy innocence of this pretended crime;I need not. Spit thy venom; do thy worst;But know, the more thou wouldst expose my virtue,Like purest linen laid in open air,'Twill bleach the more, and whiten to the view.Amph.'Tis well thou art prepared for thy divorce:For, know thou too, that, after this affront,This foul indignity done to my honour,Divorcement is but petty reparation.But, since thou hast, with impudence, affirmedMy false return, and bribed my slaves to vouch it,The truth shall, in the face of Thebes, be cleared:Thy uncle, the companion of my voyage,And all the crew of seamen shall be brought,Who were embarked, and came with me to land,Nor parted, till I reached this cursed door:So shall this vision of my late returnStand a detected lie; and woe to those,Who thus betrayed my honour!Sos.Sir, shall I wait on you?Amph.No, I will go alone. Expect me here.[ExitAmphitryon.Phæd.Please you, that I——[ToAlcmena.Alcm.Oh! nothing now can please me:Darkness, and solitude, and sighs, and tears,And all the inseparable train of grief,Attend my steps for ever.——[ExitAlcmena.

Amph.Made haste to bed: Ha, was't not so?Go on—[Aside.]And stab me with each syllable thou speak'st.

Amph.Made haste to bed: Ha, was't not so?

Go on—

[Aside.]And stab me with each syllable thou speak'st.

Phæd.So, now 'tis coming, now 'tis coming.

Alcm.I have no more to say.

Amph.Why, went we not to bed?

Alcm.Why not?Is it a crime for husband and for wifeTo go to bed, my lord?

Alcm.Why not?

Is it a crime for husband and for wife

To go to bed, my lord?

Amph.Perfidious woman!

Alcm.Ungrateful man!

Amph.She justifies it too!

Alcm.I need not justify: Of what am I accused?

Amph.Of all that prodigality of kindnessGiven to another, and usurped from me.So bless me, Heaven, if, since my first departure,I ever set my foot upon this threshold!So am I innocent of all those joys,And dry of those embraces.

Amph.Of all that prodigality of kindness

Given to another, and usurped from me.

So bless me, Heaven, if, since my first departure,

I ever set my foot upon this threshold!

So am I innocent of all those joys,

And dry of those embraces.

Alcm.Then I, it seems, am false!

Amph.As surely false, as what thou say'st is true.

Alcm.I have betrayed my honour, and my love,And am a foul adultress?

Alcm.I have betrayed my honour, and my love,

And am a foul adultress?

Amph.What thou art,Thou stand'st condemned to be, by thy relation.

Amph.What thou art,

Thou stand'st condemned to be, by thy relation.

Alcm.Go, thou unworthy man! for ever go:No more my husband: go, thou base impostor!Who tak'st a vile pretence to taint my fame,And, not content to leave, wouldst ruin me.Enjoy thy wished divorce: I will not pleadMy innocence of this pretended crime;I need not. Spit thy venom; do thy worst;But know, the more thou wouldst expose my virtue,Like purest linen laid in open air,'Twill bleach the more, and whiten to the view.

Alcm.Go, thou unworthy man! for ever go:

No more my husband: go, thou base impostor!

Who tak'st a vile pretence to taint my fame,

And, not content to leave, wouldst ruin me.

Enjoy thy wished divorce: I will not plead

My innocence of this pretended crime;

I need not. Spit thy venom; do thy worst;

But know, the more thou wouldst expose my virtue,

Like purest linen laid in open air,

'Twill bleach the more, and whiten to the view.

Amph.'Tis well thou art prepared for thy divorce:For, know thou too, that, after this affront,This foul indignity done to my honour,Divorcement is but petty reparation.But, since thou hast, with impudence, affirmedMy false return, and bribed my slaves to vouch it,The truth shall, in the face of Thebes, be cleared:Thy uncle, the companion of my voyage,And all the crew of seamen shall be brought,Who were embarked, and came with me to land,Nor parted, till I reached this cursed door:So shall this vision of my late returnStand a detected lie; and woe to those,Who thus betrayed my honour!

Amph.'Tis well thou art prepared for thy divorce:

For, know thou too, that, after this affront,

This foul indignity done to my honour,

Divorcement is but petty reparation.

But, since thou hast, with impudence, affirmed

My false return, and bribed my slaves to vouch it,

The truth shall, in the face of Thebes, be cleared:

Thy uncle, the companion of my voyage,

And all the crew of seamen shall be brought,

Who were embarked, and came with me to land,

Nor parted, till I reached this cursed door:

So shall this vision of my late return

Stand a detected lie; and woe to those,

Who thus betrayed my honour!

Sos.Sir, shall I wait on you?

Amph.No, I will go alone. Expect me here.[ExitAmphitryon.

Phæd.Please you, that I——[ToAlcmena.

Alcm.Oh! nothing now can please me:Darkness, and solitude, and sighs, and tears,And all the inseparable train of grief,Attend my steps for ever.——[ExitAlcmena.

Alcm.Oh! nothing now can please me:

Darkness, and solitude, and sighs, and tears,

And all the inseparable train of grief,

Attend my steps for ever.——[ExitAlcmena.

Sos.What if I should lie now, and say we have been here before? I never saw any good that came of telling truth.[Aside.Phæd.He makes no more advances to me: I begin a little to suspect, that my gold goblet will prove but copper.[Aside.Sos.Yes, 'tis resolved, I will lie abominably, against the light of my own conscience. For, suppose the other Sosia has been here, perhaps thatstrong dog has not only beaten me, but also has been predominant upon my wife, and most carnally misused her! Now, by asking certain questions of her, with a side-wind, I may come to understand how squares go, and whether my nuptial bed be violated.[Aside.Phæd.Most certainly he has learned impudence of his master, and will deny his being here; but that shall not serve his turn, to cheat me of my present.[Aside.]—Why, Sosia! What, in a brown study?Sos.A littlecogitabund, or so, concerning this dismal revolution in our family.Phæd.But that should not make you neglect your duty to me, your mistress.Sos.Pretty soul! I would thou wert, upon condition that old Bromia were six foot under ground.Phæd.What! is all your hot courtship to me dwindled into a poor unprofitable wish? You may remember, I did not bid you absolutely despair.Sos.No, for all things yet may be accommodated, in an amicable manner, betwixt my master and my lady.Phæd.I mean, to the business betwixt you and me—Sos.Why, I hope we two never quarrelled?Phæd.Must I remember you of a certain promise, that you made me at our last parting?Sos.Oh, when I went to the army: that I should still be praising thy beauty to judge Gripus, and keep up his affections to thee?Phæd.No, I mean the business betwixt you and me this morning—that you promised me——Sos.That I promised thee—I find it now. That strong dog, my brother Sosia, has been here before me, and made love to her.[Aside.Phæd.You are considering, whether or no you should keep your promise—Sos.That I should keep my promise.—The truth on't is, she's another-guess morsel than old Bromia.[Aside.Phæd.And I had rather you should break it, in a manner, and as it were, and in some sense——Sos.In a manner, and as it were, and in some sense, thou say'st?—I find, the strong dog has only tickled up her imagination, and not enjoyed her; so that, with my own limbs, I may perform the sweetness of his function with her.[Aside.]—No, sweet creature, the promise shall not be broken; but what I have undertaken, I will perform like a man of honour.Phæd.Then you remember the preliminaries of the present——Sos.Yes, yes, in gross I do remember something; but this disturbance of the family has somewhat stupified my memory. Some prettyquelque chose, I warrant thee; some acceptable toy, of small value.Phæd.You may call a gold goblet a toy; but I put a greater value upon your presents.Sos.A gold goblet, say'st thou! Yes, now I think on't, it was a kind of a gold goblet, as a gratuity after consummation.Phæd.No, no; I had rather make sure of one bribe beforehand, than be promised ten gratuities.Sos.Yes, now I remember, it was, in some sense, a gold goblet, by way of earnest; and it contained—Phæd.One large—Sos.How, one large—Phæd.Gallon.Sos.No; that was somewhat too large, in conscience: It was not a whole gallon; but it may contain, reasonably speaking, one large—thimble-full;but gallons and thimble-fulls are so like, that, in speaking, I might easily mistake them.Phæd.Is it come to this?—Out, traitor!Sos.I had been a traitor, indeed, to have betrayed thee to the swallowing of a gallon; but a thimble-full of cordial water is easily sipt off: and then, this same goblet is so very light too, that it will be no burden to carry it about with thee in thy pocket.Phæd.O apostate to thy love! O perjured villain!—EnterBromia.What, are you here, Bromia? I was telling him his own: I was giving him a rattle for his treacheries to you, his love: You see I can be a friend, upon occasion.Brom.Ay, chicken, I never doubted of thy kindness; but, for this fugitive—this rebel—this miscreant——Sos.A kind welcome, to an absent lover, as I have been.Brom.Ay; and a kind greeting you gave me, at your return; when you used me so barbarously this morning.Sos.The t'other Sosia has been with her too; and has used her barbarously: barbarously,—that is to say, uncivilly: and uncivilly,—I am afraid that means too civilly.[Aside.Phæd.You had best deny you were here this morning! And by the same token——Sos.Nay, no more tokens, for Heaven's sake, dear Phædra.—Now must I ponder with myself a little, whether it be better for me to have been here, or not to have been here, this morning.[Aside.Enter a Servant.Serv.Phædra, my lord's without; and will not enter till he has first spoken with you.[Exit Serv.Phæd.[To him in private.]Oh, that I could stay to help worry thee for this abuse; but the best on't is, I leave thee in good hands.——Farewell, Thimble——To him, Bromia.[ExitPhædra.Brom.No; you did not beat me, and put me into a swoon, and deprive me of the natural use of my tongue for a long half hour: you did not beat me down with your little wand:—but I shall teach you to use your rod another time——I shall.Sos.Put her into a swoon, with my little wand, and so forth! That's more than ever I could do. These are terrible circumstances, that some Sosia or other has been here. Now, if he has literally beaten her, gramercy, brother Sosia! he has but done what I would have done, if I had durst. But I am afraid it was only a damned love-figure; and that the wand, that laid her asleep, might signify the peace-maker.[Aside.Brom.Now you are snuffling up on a cold scent, for some pitiful excuse. I know you; twenty to one, but you will plead a drunkenness; you are used to be pot-valiant.Sos.I was pumping, and I thank her, she has invented for me.—Yes, Bromia, I must confess I was exalted; and, possibly, I might scour upon thee, or perhaps be a little more familiar with thy person, by the way of kindness, than if I had been sober: but, pr'ythee, inform me what I did, that I may consider what satisfaction I am to make thee.Brom.Are you there at your dog-tricks! You would be forgetting, would you? like a drunken bully that affronts over night, and, when he is calledto account the next morning, remembers nothing of the quarrel; and asks pardon, to avoid fighting.Sos.By Bacchus, I was overtaken; but I should be loth that I committed any folly with thee.Brom.I am sure, I kept myself awake all night, that I did, in expectation of your coming.[Crying.Sos.But what amends did I make thee, when I came?Brom.You know well enough, to my sorrow, but that you play the hypocrite.Sos.I warrant, I was monstrous kind to thee.Brom.Yes, monstrous kind indeed: You never said a truer word; for, when I came to kiss you, you pulled away your mouth, and turned your cheek to me.Sos.Good.Brom.How, good! Here's fine impudence! He justifies!Sos.Yes, I do justify, that I turned my cheek, like a prudent person, that my breath might not offend thee; for, now I remember, I had eaten garlick.Brom.Ay, you remember, and forget, just as it makes for you, or against you; but, to mend the matter, you never spoke one civil word to me; but stood like a stock, without sense or motion.Sos.Yet better.[Aside.Brom.After which, I lovingly invited you to take your place in your nuptial bed, as the laws of matrimony oblige you; and you inhumanly refused me.Sos.Ay, there's the main point of the business! Art thou morally certain, that I refused thee? Look me now in the face, and say I did not commit matrimony with thee!Brom.I wonder how thou canst look me in the face, after that refusal!Sos.Say it once again, that I did not feloniously come to bed to thee!Brom.No, thou cold traitor, thou know'st thou didst not.Sos.Best of all!—'twas discreetly done of me to abstain.Brom.What, do you insult upon me too?Sos.No, I do not insult upon you——but—Brom.But what? How was it discreetly done then? ha!Sos.Because it is the received opinion of physicians, that nothing but puling chits, and booby-fools are procreated in drunkenness.Brom.A received opinion, snivel-guts! I'll be judged by all the married women of this town, if any one of them has received it. The devil take the physicians for meddling in our matters! If a husband will be ruled by them, there are five weeks of abstinence in dog-days too; for fear a child, that was got in August, should be born just nine months after, and be blear-eyed, like a May kitten.Sos.Let the physicians alone; they are honest men, whatever the world says of them. But, for a certain reason, that I best know, I am glad that matter ended so fairly and peaceably betwixt us.Brom.Yes, 'twas very fair and peaceably; to strike a woman down, and beat her most outrageously.Sos.Is't possible that I drubbed thee?Brom.I find your drift; you would fain be provoking me to a new trial now: but, i'faith, you shall bring me to no more handy-blows; I shall make bold to trust to my tongue hereafter. You never durst have offered to hold up a finger against me, till you went a trooping.Sos.Then I am a conqueror; and I laud my owncourage: this renown I have atchieved by soldier-ship and stratagem. Know your duty, spouse, hence-forward, to your supreme commander.[Strutting.EnterJupiterandPhædra,attended by Musicians and Dancers.Phæd.Indeed I wondered at your quick return.

Sos.What if I should lie now, and say we have been here before? I never saw any good that came of telling truth.[Aside.

Phæd.He makes no more advances to me: I begin a little to suspect, that my gold goblet will prove but copper.[Aside.

Sos.Yes, 'tis resolved, I will lie abominably, against the light of my own conscience. For, suppose the other Sosia has been here, perhaps thatstrong dog has not only beaten me, but also has been predominant upon my wife, and most carnally misused her! Now, by asking certain questions of her, with a side-wind, I may come to understand how squares go, and whether my nuptial bed be violated.[Aside.

Phæd.Most certainly he has learned impudence of his master, and will deny his being here; but that shall not serve his turn, to cheat me of my present.[Aside.]—Why, Sosia! What, in a brown study?

Sos.A littlecogitabund, or so, concerning this dismal revolution in our family.

Phæd.But that should not make you neglect your duty to me, your mistress.

Sos.Pretty soul! I would thou wert, upon condition that old Bromia were six foot under ground.

Phæd.What! is all your hot courtship to me dwindled into a poor unprofitable wish? You may remember, I did not bid you absolutely despair.

Sos.No, for all things yet may be accommodated, in an amicable manner, betwixt my master and my lady.

Phæd.I mean, to the business betwixt you and me—

Sos.Why, I hope we two never quarrelled?

Phæd.Must I remember you of a certain promise, that you made me at our last parting?

Sos.Oh, when I went to the army: that I should still be praising thy beauty to judge Gripus, and keep up his affections to thee?

Phæd.No, I mean the business betwixt you and me this morning—that you promised me——

Sos.That I promised thee—I find it now. That strong dog, my brother Sosia, has been here before me, and made love to her.[Aside.

Phæd.You are considering, whether or no you should keep your promise—

Sos.That I should keep my promise.—The truth on't is, she's another-guess morsel than old Bromia.[Aside.

Phæd.And I had rather you should break it, in a manner, and as it were, and in some sense——

Sos.In a manner, and as it were, and in some sense, thou say'st?—I find, the strong dog has only tickled up her imagination, and not enjoyed her; so that, with my own limbs, I may perform the sweetness of his function with her.[Aside.]—No, sweet creature, the promise shall not be broken; but what I have undertaken, I will perform like a man of honour.

Phæd.Then you remember the preliminaries of the present——

Sos.Yes, yes, in gross I do remember something; but this disturbance of the family has somewhat stupified my memory. Some prettyquelque chose, I warrant thee; some acceptable toy, of small value.

Phæd.You may call a gold goblet a toy; but I put a greater value upon your presents.

Sos.A gold goblet, say'st thou! Yes, now I think on't, it was a kind of a gold goblet, as a gratuity after consummation.

Phæd.No, no; I had rather make sure of one bribe beforehand, than be promised ten gratuities.

Sos.Yes, now I remember, it was, in some sense, a gold goblet, by way of earnest; and it contained—

Phæd.One large—

Sos.How, one large—

Phæd.Gallon.

Sos.No; that was somewhat too large, in conscience: It was not a whole gallon; but it may contain, reasonably speaking, one large—thimble-full;but gallons and thimble-fulls are so like, that, in speaking, I might easily mistake them.

Phæd.Is it come to this?—Out, traitor!

Sos.I had been a traitor, indeed, to have betrayed thee to the swallowing of a gallon; but a thimble-full of cordial water is easily sipt off: and then, this same goblet is so very light too, that it will be no burden to carry it about with thee in thy pocket.

Phæd.O apostate to thy love! O perjured villain!—

EnterBromia.

What, are you here, Bromia? I was telling him his own: I was giving him a rattle for his treacheries to you, his love: You see I can be a friend, upon occasion.

Brom.Ay, chicken, I never doubted of thy kindness; but, for this fugitive—this rebel—this miscreant——

Sos.A kind welcome, to an absent lover, as I have been.

Brom.Ay; and a kind greeting you gave me, at your return; when you used me so barbarously this morning.

Sos.The t'other Sosia has been with her too; and has used her barbarously: barbarously,—that is to say, uncivilly: and uncivilly,—I am afraid that means too civilly.[Aside.

Phæd.You had best deny you were here this morning! And by the same token——

Sos.Nay, no more tokens, for Heaven's sake, dear Phædra.—Now must I ponder with myself a little, whether it be better for me to have been here, or not to have been here, this morning.[Aside.

Enter a Servant.

Serv.Phædra, my lord's without; and will not enter till he has first spoken with you.[Exit Serv.

Phæd.[To him in private.]Oh, that I could stay to help worry thee for this abuse; but the best on't is, I leave thee in good hands.——Farewell, Thimble——To him, Bromia.[ExitPhædra.

Brom.No; you did not beat me, and put me into a swoon, and deprive me of the natural use of my tongue for a long half hour: you did not beat me down with your little wand:—but I shall teach you to use your rod another time——I shall.

Sos.Put her into a swoon, with my little wand, and so forth! That's more than ever I could do. These are terrible circumstances, that some Sosia or other has been here. Now, if he has literally beaten her, gramercy, brother Sosia! he has but done what I would have done, if I had durst. But I am afraid it was only a damned love-figure; and that the wand, that laid her asleep, might signify the peace-maker.[Aside.

Brom.Now you are snuffling up on a cold scent, for some pitiful excuse. I know you; twenty to one, but you will plead a drunkenness; you are used to be pot-valiant.

Sos.I was pumping, and I thank her, she has invented for me.—Yes, Bromia, I must confess I was exalted; and, possibly, I might scour upon thee, or perhaps be a little more familiar with thy person, by the way of kindness, than if I had been sober: but, pr'ythee, inform me what I did, that I may consider what satisfaction I am to make thee.

Brom.Are you there at your dog-tricks! You would be forgetting, would you? like a drunken bully that affronts over night, and, when he is calledto account the next morning, remembers nothing of the quarrel; and asks pardon, to avoid fighting.

Sos.By Bacchus, I was overtaken; but I should be loth that I committed any folly with thee.

Brom.I am sure, I kept myself awake all night, that I did, in expectation of your coming.[Crying.

Sos.But what amends did I make thee, when I came?

Brom.You know well enough, to my sorrow, but that you play the hypocrite.

Sos.I warrant, I was monstrous kind to thee.

Brom.Yes, monstrous kind indeed: You never said a truer word; for, when I came to kiss you, you pulled away your mouth, and turned your cheek to me.

Sos.Good.

Brom.How, good! Here's fine impudence! He justifies!

Sos.Yes, I do justify, that I turned my cheek, like a prudent person, that my breath might not offend thee; for, now I remember, I had eaten garlick.

Brom.Ay, you remember, and forget, just as it makes for you, or against you; but, to mend the matter, you never spoke one civil word to me; but stood like a stock, without sense or motion.

Sos.Yet better.[Aside.

Brom.After which, I lovingly invited you to take your place in your nuptial bed, as the laws of matrimony oblige you; and you inhumanly refused me.

Sos.Ay, there's the main point of the business! Art thou morally certain, that I refused thee? Look me now in the face, and say I did not commit matrimony with thee!

Brom.I wonder how thou canst look me in the face, after that refusal!

Sos.Say it once again, that I did not feloniously come to bed to thee!

Brom.No, thou cold traitor, thou know'st thou didst not.

Sos.Best of all!—'twas discreetly done of me to abstain.

Brom.What, do you insult upon me too?

Sos.No, I do not insult upon you——but—

Brom.But what? How was it discreetly done then? ha!

Sos.Because it is the received opinion of physicians, that nothing but puling chits, and booby-fools are procreated in drunkenness.

Brom.A received opinion, snivel-guts! I'll be judged by all the married women of this town, if any one of them has received it. The devil take the physicians for meddling in our matters! If a husband will be ruled by them, there are five weeks of abstinence in dog-days too; for fear a child, that was got in August, should be born just nine months after, and be blear-eyed, like a May kitten.

Sos.Let the physicians alone; they are honest men, whatever the world says of them. But, for a certain reason, that I best know, I am glad that matter ended so fairly and peaceably betwixt us.

Brom.Yes, 'twas very fair and peaceably; to strike a woman down, and beat her most outrageously.

Sos.Is't possible that I drubbed thee?

Brom.I find your drift; you would fain be provoking me to a new trial now: but, i'faith, you shall bring me to no more handy-blows; I shall make bold to trust to my tongue hereafter. You never durst have offered to hold up a finger against me, till you went a trooping.

Sos.Then I am a conqueror; and I laud my owncourage: this renown I have atchieved by soldier-ship and stratagem. Know your duty, spouse, hence-forward, to your supreme commander.[Strutting.

EnterJupiterandPhædra,attended by Musicians and Dancers.

Phæd.Indeed I wondered at your quick return.

Jup.Even so almighty love will have it, Phædra;And the stern goddess of sweet-bitter cares,Who bows our necks beneath her brazen yoke.I would have manned my heart, and held it out;But, when I thought of what I had possessed,Those joys, that never end, but to begin,O, I am all on fire to make my peace;And die, Jove knows, as much as I can die,Till I am reconciled.Phæd.I fear 'twill be in vain.Jup.'Tis difficult:But nothing is impossible to love;To love like mine; for I have proved his force,And my Alcmena too has felt his dart.If I submit, there's hope.

Jup.Even so almighty love will have it, Phædra;

And the stern goddess of sweet-bitter cares,

Who bows our necks beneath her brazen yoke.

I would have manned my heart, and held it out;

But, when I thought of what I had possessed,

Those joys, that never end, but to begin,

O, I am all on fire to make my peace;

And die, Jove knows, as much as I can die,

Till I am reconciled.

Phæd.I fear 'twill be in vain.

Jup.'Tis difficult:But nothing is impossible to love;To love like mine; for I have proved his force,And my Alcmena too has felt his dart.If I submit, there's hope.

Jup.'Tis difficult:

But nothing is impossible to love;

To love like mine; for I have proved his force,

And my Alcmena too has felt his dart.

If I submit, there's hope.

Phæd.'Tis possible I may solicit for you.Jup.But wilt thou promise me to do thy best?Phæd.Nay, I promise nothing—unless you begin to promise first.[Curtsying.Jup.I will not be ungrateful.Phæd.Well; I'll try to bring her to the window; you shall have a fair shot at her; if you can bring her down, you are a good marksman.

Phæd.'Tis possible I may solicit for you.

Jup.But wilt thou promise me to do thy best?

Phæd.Nay, I promise nothing—unless you begin to promise first.[Curtsying.

Jup.I will not be ungrateful.

Phæd.Well; I'll try to bring her to the window; you shall have a fair shot at her; if you can bring her down, you are a good marksman.

Jup.That's all I ask;And I will so reward thee, gentle Phædra—

Jup.That's all I ask;

And I will so reward thee, gentle Phædra—

Phæd.What, with catsguts and rosin! ThisSollais but a lamentable empty sound.Jup.Then, there's a sound will please thee better.[Throwing her a purse.Phæd.Ay, there's something of melody in thissound. I could dance all day to the music ofChink, Chink.

Phæd.What, with catsguts and rosin! ThisSollais but a lamentable empty sound.

Jup.Then, there's a sound will please thee better.[Throwing her a purse.

Phæd.Ay, there's something of melody in thissound. I could dance all day to the music ofChink, Chink.

Jup.Go, Sosia, round our Thebes,To Polidas, to Tranio, and to Gripus,Companions of our war; invite them allTo join their prayers to smooth Alcmena's brow,And, with a solemn feast, to crown the day.

Jup.Go, Sosia, round our Thebes,

To Polidas, to Tranio, and to Gripus,

Companions of our war; invite them all

To join their prayers to smooth Alcmena's brow,

And, with a solemn feast, to crown the day.

Sos.[TakingJupiterabout the knees.]Let me embrace you, sir.[Jupiterpushes him away.]Nay, you must give me leave to express my gratitude; I have not eaten, to say eating, nor drunk, to say drinking, never since our villainous encamping so near the enemy. It is true, I escaped the bloody-flux, because I had so little in my bowels to come out; and I durst let nothing go, in conscience, because I had nothing to swallow in the room on't.Jup.You, Bromia, see that all things be prepared, With that magnificence, as if some god Were guest or master here.Sos.Or rather, as much as if twenty gods were to be guests or masters here.Brom.That you may eat for to-day and to-morrow.Sos.Or, rather again, for to-day and yesterday, and as many months backward, as I am indebted to my own belly.

Jup.You, Bromia, see that all things be prepared, With that magnificence, as if some god Were guest or master here.

Sos.Or rather, as much as if twenty gods were to be guests or masters here.

Brom.That you may eat for to-day and to-morrow.

Sos.Or, rather again, for to-day and yesterday, and as many months backward, as I am indebted to my own belly.

Jup.Away, both of you.—[ExeuntSosiaandBromiaseverally.Now I have packed him hence, thou other Sosia,(Who, though thou art not present, hear'st my voice)Be ready to attend me at my call,And to supply his place.

Jup.Away, both of you.—

[ExeuntSosiaandBromiaseverally.

Now I have packed him hence, thou other Sosia,

(Who, though thou art not present, hear'st my voice)

Be ready to attend me at my call,

And to supply his place.

EnterMercurytoJupiter;AlcmenaandPhædraappear above.

See, she appears:[SeeingAlcmena.This is my bribe to Phædra; when I madeThis gold, I made a greater God than Jove,And gave my own omnipotence away.

See, she appears:[SeeingAlcmena.

This is my bribe to Phædra; when I made

This gold, I made a greater God than Jove,

And gave my own omnipotence away.

Jupitersigns to the Musicians. Song and Dance:After which,Alcmenawithdraws, frowning.

SONG.

Celia, that I once was blestIs now the torment of my breast;Since, to curse me, you bereave meOf the pleasures I possest:Cruel creature, to deceive me!First to love, and then to leave me!

Celia, that I once was blest

Is now the torment of my breast;

Since, to curse me, you bereave me

Of the pleasures I possest:

Cruel creature, to deceive me!

First to love, and then to leave me!

II.

Had you the bliss refused to grant,Then I had never known the want:But possessing once the blessing,Is the cause of my complaint;Once possessing is but tasting;'Tis no bliss that is not lasting.

Had you the bliss refused to grant,

Then I had never known the want:

But possessing once the blessing,

Is the cause of my complaint;

Once possessing is but tasting;

'Tis no bliss that is not lasting.

III.

Celia now is mine no more;But I am her's, and must adore,Nor to leave her will endeavour;Charms, that captived me before,No unkindness can dissever;Love, that's true, is love for ever.

Celia now is mine no more;

But I am her's, and must adore,

Nor to leave her will endeavour;

Charms, that captived me before,

No unkindness can dissever;

Love, that's true, is love for ever.

Jup.O stay.Merc.She's gone; and seemed to frown at parting.Jup.Follow, and thou shalt see her soon appeased;For I, who made her, know her inward state;No woman, once well-pleased, can throughly hate.I gave them beauty to subdue the strong,—A mighty empire, but it lasts not long.I gave them pride, to make mankind their slave;But, in exchange, to men I flattery gave.The offending lover, when he lowest lies,Submits, to conquer; and but kneels, to rise.

Jup.O stay.

Merc.She's gone; and seemed to frown at parting.

Jup.Follow, and thou shalt see her soon appeased;For I, who made her, know her inward state;No woman, once well-pleased, can throughly hate.I gave them beauty to subdue the strong,—A mighty empire, but it lasts not long.I gave them pride, to make mankind their slave;But, in exchange, to men I flattery gave.The offending lover, when he lowest lies,Submits, to conquer; and but kneels, to rise.

Jup.Follow, and thou shalt see her soon appeased;

For I, who made her, know her inward state;

No woman, once well-pleased, can throughly hate.

I gave them beauty to subdue the strong,—

A mighty empire, but it lasts not long.

I gave them pride, to make mankind their slave;

But, in exchange, to men I flattery gave.

The offending lover, when he lowest lies,

Submits, to conquer; and but kneels, to rise.

JupiterfollowingAlcmena;MercuryandPhædra.

Jup.O stay, my dear Alcmena; hear me speak!Alcm.No, I would fly thee to the ridge of earth,And leap the precipice, to 'scape thy sight.Jup.For pity——Alcm.Leave me, thou ungrateful man.Jup.I cannot leave you; no, but like a ghost,Whom your unkindness murdered, will I haunt you.Alcm.Once more, be gone; I'm odious to myself,For having loved thee once.Jup.Hate not, the best and fairest of your kind!Nor can you hate your lover, though you would:Your tears, that fall so gently, are but grief:There may be anger; but there must be love.The dove, that murmurs at her mate's neglect,But counterfeits a coyness, to be courted.Alcm.Courtship from thee, and after such affronts!Jup.Is this that everlasting love you vowedLast night, when I was circled in your arms?Remember what you swore.Alcm.Think what thou wert, and who could swear too much?Think what thou art, and that unswears it all.Jup.Can you forsake me, for so small a fault?'Twas but a jest, perhaps too far pursued;'Twas but, at most, a trial of your faith,How you could bear unkindness;'Twas but to get a reconciling kiss,A wanton stratagem of love.Alcm.See how he doubles, like a hunted hare:A jest, and then a trial, and a bait;All stuff, and daubing!Jup.Think me jealous, then.Alcm.O that I could! for that's a noble crime,And which a lover can with ease forgive;'Tis the high pulse of passion in a fever;A sickly draught, but shews a burning thirst:Thine was a surfeit, not a jealousy;And in that loathing of thy full-gorged love,Thou saw'st the nauseous object with disdain.Jup.O think not that! for you are ever new:Your fruits of love are like eternal spring,In happy climes, where some are in the bud,Some green, and ripening some, while others fall.Alcm.Ay, now you tell me this,When roused desires, and fresh recruits of force,Enable languished love to take the field:But never hope to be received again;You would again deny you were received,And brand my spotless fame.Jup.I will not dare to justify my crime,But only point you where to lay the blame;Impute it to the husband, not the lover.Alcm.How vainly would the sophister divide,And make the husband and the lover two!Jup.Yes, 'tis the husband is the guilty wretch;His insolence forgot the sweets of love,And, deeming them his due, despised the feast.Not so the famished lover could forget;He knew he had been there, and had been blestWith all that hope could wish, or sense can bear.Alcm.Husband and lover, both alike I hate.Jup.And I confess I have deserved that hate.Too charming fair, I kneel for your forgiveness:[Kneeling.I beg, by those fair eyesWhich gave me wounds, that time can never cure,Receive my sorrows, and restore my joys.Alcm.Unkind, and cruel! I can speak no more.Jup.O give it vent, Alcmena, give it vent;I merit your reproach, I would be cursed;Let your tongue curse me, while your heart forgives.Alcm.Can I forget such usage?Jup.Can you hate me?Alcm.I'll do my best; for sure I ought to hate you.Jup.That word was only hatched upon your tongue,It came not from your heart. But try again,And if, once more, you can but say,—I hate you,My sword shall do you justice.Alcm.Then—I hate you.Jup.Then you pronounce the sentence of my death.Alcm.I hate you much, but yet—I love you more.Jup.To prove that love, then say, that you forgive me;For there remains but this alternative,—Resolve to pardon, or to punish me.Alcm.Alas! what I resolve appears too plain;In saying that I cannot hate, I pardon.Jup.But what's a pardon worth without a seal?Permit me, in this transport of my joy——[Kisses her hand.Alcm.Forbear; I am offended with myself,[Putting him gently away with her hand.That I have shewn this weakness.—Let me go,Where I may blush alone;—[Going, and looking back on him.But come not you,Lest I should spoil you with excess of fondness,And let you love again.[ExitAlcmena.Jup.Forbidding me to follow, she invites me:—This is the mould of which I made the sex:I gave them but one tongue, to say us nay;And two kind eyes to grant.—Be sure that noneApproach, to interrupt our privacy.[ToMerc.[ExitJupiterafterAlcmena.MercuryandPhædraremain.

Jup.O stay, my dear Alcmena; hear me speak!

Alcm.No, I would fly thee to the ridge of earth,And leap the precipice, to 'scape thy sight.

Alcm.No, I would fly thee to the ridge of earth,

And leap the precipice, to 'scape thy sight.

Jup.For pity——

Alcm.Leave me, thou ungrateful man.

Jup.I cannot leave you; no, but like a ghost,Whom your unkindness murdered, will I haunt you.

Jup.I cannot leave you; no, but like a ghost,

Whom your unkindness murdered, will I haunt you.

Alcm.Once more, be gone; I'm odious to myself,For having loved thee once.

Alcm.Once more, be gone; I'm odious to myself,

For having loved thee once.

Jup.Hate not, the best and fairest of your kind!Nor can you hate your lover, though you would:Your tears, that fall so gently, are but grief:There may be anger; but there must be love.The dove, that murmurs at her mate's neglect,But counterfeits a coyness, to be courted.

Jup.Hate not, the best and fairest of your kind!

Nor can you hate your lover, though you would:

Your tears, that fall so gently, are but grief:

There may be anger; but there must be love.

The dove, that murmurs at her mate's neglect,

But counterfeits a coyness, to be courted.

Alcm.Courtship from thee, and after such affronts!

Jup.Is this that everlasting love you vowedLast night, when I was circled in your arms?Remember what you swore.

Jup.Is this that everlasting love you vowed

Last night, when I was circled in your arms?

Remember what you swore.

Alcm.Think what thou wert, and who could swear too much?Think what thou art, and that unswears it all.

Alcm.Think what thou wert, and who could swear too much?

Think what thou art, and that unswears it all.

Jup.Can you forsake me, for so small a fault?'Twas but a jest, perhaps too far pursued;'Twas but, at most, a trial of your faith,How you could bear unkindness;'Twas but to get a reconciling kiss,A wanton stratagem of love.

Jup.Can you forsake me, for so small a fault?

'Twas but a jest, perhaps too far pursued;

'Twas but, at most, a trial of your faith,

How you could bear unkindness;

'Twas but to get a reconciling kiss,

A wanton stratagem of love.

Alcm.See how he doubles, like a hunted hare:A jest, and then a trial, and a bait;All stuff, and daubing!

Alcm.See how he doubles, like a hunted hare:

A jest, and then a trial, and a bait;

All stuff, and daubing!

Jup.Think me jealous, then.

Alcm.O that I could! for that's a noble crime,And which a lover can with ease forgive;'Tis the high pulse of passion in a fever;A sickly draught, but shews a burning thirst:Thine was a surfeit, not a jealousy;And in that loathing of thy full-gorged love,Thou saw'st the nauseous object with disdain.

Alcm.O that I could! for that's a noble crime,

And which a lover can with ease forgive;

'Tis the high pulse of passion in a fever;

A sickly draught, but shews a burning thirst:

Thine was a surfeit, not a jealousy;

And in that loathing of thy full-gorged love,

Thou saw'st the nauseous object with disdain.

Jup.O think not that! for you are ever new:Your fruits of love are like eternal spring,In happy climes, where some are in the bud,Some green, and ripening some, while others fall.

Jup.O think not that! for you are ever new:

Your fruits of love are like eternal spring,

In happy climes, where some are in the bud,

Some green, and ripening some, while others fall.

Alcm.Ay, now you tell me this,When roused desires, and fresh recruits of force,Enable languished love to take the field:But never hope to be received again;You would again deny you were received,And brand my spotless fame.

Alcm.Ay, now you tell me this,

When roused desires, and fresh recruits of force,

Enable languished love to take the field:

But never hope to be received again;

You would again deny you were received,

And brand my spotless fame.

Jup.I will not dare to justify my crime,But only point you where to lay the blame;Impute it to the husband, not the lover.

Jup.I will not dare to justify my crime,

But only point you where to lay the blame;

Impute it to the husband, not the lover.

Alcm.How vainly would the sophister divide,And make the husband and the lover two!

Alcm.How vainly would the sophister divide,

And make the husband and the lover two!

Jup.Yes, 'tis the husband is the guilty wretch;His insolence forgot the sweets of love,And, deeming them his due, despised the feast.Not so the famished lover could forget;He knew he had been there, and had been blestWith all that hope could wish, or sense can bear.

Jup.Yes, 'tis the husband is the guilty wretch;

His insolence forgot the sweets of love,

And, deeming them his due, despised the feast.

Not so the famished lover could forget;

He knew he had been there, and had been blest

With all that hope could wish, or sense can bear.

Alcm.Husband and lover, both alike I hate.

Jup.And I confess I have deserved that hate.Too charming fair, I kneel for your forgiveness:[Kneeling.I beg, by those fair eyesWhich gave me wounds, that time can never cure,Receive my sorrows, and restore my joys.

Jup.And I confess I have deserved that hate.

Too charming fair, I kneel for your forgiveness:[Kneeling.

I beg, by those fair eyes

Which gave me wounds, that time can never cure,

Receive my sorrows, and restore my joys.

Alcm.Unkind, and cruel! I can speak no more.

Jup.O give it vent, Alcmena, give it vent;I merit your reproach, I would be cursed;Let your tongue curse me, while your heart forgives.

Jup.O give it vent, Alcmena, give it vent;

I merit your reproach, I would be cursed;

Let your tongue curse me, while your heart forgives.

Alcm.Can I forget such usage?

Jup.Can you hate me?

Alcm.I'll do my best; for sure I ought to hate you.

Jup.That word was only hatched upon your tongue,It came not from your heart. But try again,And if, once more, you can but say,—I hate you,My sword shall do you justice.

Jup.That word was only hatched upon your tongue,

It came not from your heart. But try again,

And if, once more, you can but say,—I hate you,

My sword shall do you justice.

Alcm.Then—I hate you.

Jup.Then you pronounce the sentence of my death.

Alcm.I hate you much, but yet—I love you more.

Jup.To prove that love, then say, that you forgive me;For there remains but this alternative,—Resolve to pardon, or to punish me.

Jup.To prove that love, then say, that you forgive me;

For there remains but this alternative,—

Resolve to pardon, or to punish me.

Alcm.Alas! what I resolve appears too plain;In saying that I cannot hate, I pardon.

Alcm.Alas! what I resolve appears too plain;

In saying that I cannot hate, I pardon.

Jup.But what's a pardon worth without a seal?Permit me, in this transport of my joy——[Kisses her hand.

Jup.But what's a pardon worth without a seal?

Permit me, in this transport of my joy——[Kisses her hand.

Alcm.Forbear; I am offended with myself,[Putting him gently away with her hand.That I have shewn this weakness.—Let me go,Where I may blush alone;—[Going, and looking back on him.But come not you,Lest I should spoil you with excess of fondness,And let you love again.[ExitAlcmena.

Alcm.Forbear; I am offended with myself,

[Putting him gently away with her hand.

That I have shewn this weakness.—Let me go,

Where I may blush alone;—[Going, and looking back on him.

But come not you,

Lest I should spoil you with excess of fondness,

And let you love again.[ExitAlcmena.

Jup.Forbidding me to follow, she invites me:—This is the mould of which I made the sex:I gave them but one tongue, to say us nay;And two kind eyes to grant.—Be sure that noneApproach, to interrupt our privacy.[ToMerc.

Jup.Forbidding me to follow, she invites me:—

This is the mould of which I made the sex:

I gave them but one tongue, to say us nay;

And two kind eyes to grant.—Be sure that none

Approach, to interrupt our privacy.[ToMerc.

[ExitJupiterafterAlcmena.

MercuryandPhædraremain.

Merc.Your lady has made the challenge of reconciliation to my lord: here's a fair example for us two, Phædra.Phæd.No example at all, Sosia; for my lady had the diamonds beforehand, and I have none of the gold goblet.Merc.The goblet shall be forthcoming, if thou wilt give me weight for weight.Phæd.Yes, and measure for measure too, Sosia; that is, for a thimble-full of gold, a thimble-full of love.Merc.What think you now, Phædra? Here's a weighty argument of love for you.[Pulling out the Goblet in a case from under his Cloak.Phæd.Now Jupiter, of his mercy, let me kiss thee, O thou dear metal![Taking it in both hands.Merc.And Venus, of her mercy, let me kiss thee, dear, dear Phædra!Phæd.Not so fast, Sosia; there's a damned proverb in your way,—"Many things happen betwixt the cup and the lip," you know.Merc.Why, thou wilt not cheat me of my goblet?Phæd.Yes, as sure as you would cheat me of my maidenhead: I am yet but just even with you,for the last trick you played me. And, besides, this is but a bare retaining fee; you must give me another before the cause is opened.Merc.Shall I not come to your bed-side to-night?Phæd.No, nor to-morrow night neither; but this shall be my sweetheart in your place: 'tis a better bedfellow, and will keep me warmer in cold weather.[ExitPhædra.Mercuryalone.Merc.Now, what's the god of wit in a woman's hand? This very goblet I stole from Gripus; and he got it out of bribes, too. But this is the common fate of ill-gotten goods, that, as they came in by covetousness, they go out by whoring.—EnterAmphitryon.Oh, here's Amphitryon again; but I'll manage him above in the balcony[ExitMercury.

Merc.Your lady has made the challenge of reconciliation to my lord: here's a fair example for us two, Phædra.

Phæd.No example at all, Sosia; for my lady had the diamonds beforehand, and I have none of the gold goblet.

Merc.The goblet shall be forthcoming, if thou wilt give me weight for weight.

Phæd.Yes, and measure for measure too, Sosia; that is, for a thimble-full of gold, a thimble-full of love.

Merc.What think you now, Phædra? Here's a weighty argument of love for you.

[Pulling out the Goblet in a case from under his Cloak.

Phæd.Now Jupiter, of his mercy, let me kiss thee, O thou dear metal!

[Taking it in both hands.

Merc.And Venus, of her mercy, let me kiss thee, dear, dear Phædra!

Phæd.Not so fast, Sosia; there's a damned proverb in your way,—"Many things happen betwixt the cup and the lip," you know.

Merc.Why, thou wilt not cheat me of my goblet?

Phæd.Yes, as sure as you would cheat me of my maidenhead: I am yet but just even with you,for the last trick you played me. And, besides, this is but a bare retaining fee; you must give me another before the cause is opened.

Merc.Shall I not come to your bed-side to-night?

Phæd.No, nor to-morrow night neither; but this shall be my sweetheart in your place: 'tis a better bedfellow, and will keep me warmer in cold weather.[ExitPhædra.

Mercuryalone.

Merc.Now, what's the god of wit in a woman's hand? This very goblet I stole from Gripus; and he got it out of bribes, too. But this is the common fate of ill-gotten goods, that, as they came in by covetousness, they go out by whoring.—

EnterAmphitryon.

Oh, here's Amphitryon again; but I'll manage him above in the balcony[ExitMercury.

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