CHAPTER XXIII.
Lulu joined the rest of the family that evening and listened to the reading, but was careful not to take any liberties inconsistent with her position as only a guest. She asked for a goodnight kiss and received it, but that was all; there was no close, loving embrace given with it, as in former days, no words of tender fatherly affection were spoken.
The next day and the next passed very slowly to her, with no lessons to learn, no loving little services to render to her father, no delightfully confidential chats with him; while by reason of mental disquietude all employments had lost their usual interest for her; her heart was very heavy because she felt she was not in full favor with either her earthly or her heavenly Father.
For months past she had been happy in the consciousness that Jesus loved her; that he was her Saviour and she his disciple, his servant, belonging to him even more entirely than to the father whose “very own” she loved to call herself.
But in rebelling against the authority of that earthly parent she had broken God’s command,“Honor thy father and thy mother,” and the light of his countenance was withdrawn from her.
The captain sat reading alone in the library on Friday evening, the rest of the family having retired to their rooms for the night. A slight sound caused him to look up from his book to find, much to his surprise, Lulu standing by his side and wearing a very troubled countenance.
“What is it?” he asked. “You bade me good-night some time ago, and I thought had gone to bed. Are you not well, my child?”
“Yes, papa; but—papa, if Eva was troubled in her mind, and came to you for help, wouldn’t you listen to her and tell her what to do?” she asked, low and hesitatingly, her head drooping, her eyes on the carpet.
“Certainly; I should be very glad to do anything in my power to relieve her, and if instead of Eva, it were one of my own children, I surely should not be less ready to help and comfort. Tell me freely what it is that troubles you.”
As he spoke he laid aside his book and took one of the small hands in his, holding it in a tender, loving clasp.
Lulu’s tears began to fall. “Papa,” she sobbed, “when I behaved so rebelliously toward you, I sinned against God, and I am afraid he is angry with me. O papa, what shall I do?”
“Go at once and ask his forgiveness, daughter;ask in the name of Jesus, and for his sake.
“‘If any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ, the righteous.’
“‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.’”
“Papa, I thought I was a Christian; I thought I loved Jesus and had given my heart to him; but now I am afraid it was all a mistake. Oh, do you think a real, true Christian could behave so wickedly as I did the other day?”
“If a man running a race should step aside for a moment from the path, or stumble and fall, then get up and go on, I should not think he had proved himself to have been mistaken in believing that he had really set out to run it, and in the right path. Should a soldier fall back for a moment before the enemy, I should not think that proved that he did not love his country and his flag, and would never fight bravely for them.
“But, my child, there is no need to settle the question whether you really came at the time you thought you did; the way is open still and you may come now; come anew, or for the first time. Jesus still invites you, still says sweetly to you, ‘Come unto me and I will give you rest.’ ‘Him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.’”
“Papa, pray for me,” she entreated; “please ask Jesus to forgive me and love me; to help me to come to him now, and always, always keep close to him.”
Then, with her hand still in his, he knelt with her by his side, and earnestly besought the Lord for her, “his dear, erring, but penitent child.”
They rose from their knees, and lifting her tearful eyes to his face with a look of ardent filial love, “Thank you, dear papa,” she said in faltering tones; “I said the words after you in my heart, and I do believe Jesus heard and has forgiven me and loves me now.”
“Yes, dear child, we have his own word for it, ‘Him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.’”
He still held her hand in his, and now, laying the other tenderly on her head, he said solemnly: “‘The Lord bless thee and keep thee: the Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: the Lord lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.’”
Then, with a good-night kiss, he sent her away to her rest.
“What a dear,dearfather he is,” she said to herself as she went softly up the stairs again: “how I do love him! and oh, how I did want to put my arms round his neck and hug him tight! It would have been disobedience, though, and so I couldn’t; but to-morrow night I may;for then this dreadful time of being my own mistress, and only a visitor, will be over, and he’ll take me for his very own child again; then oh, how happy I shall be!”
The next evening, as the good-nights were being said, she gave him a most wistful, longing look.
“Yes,” he said, in a grave, serious, yet kindly tone, “I am coming to your room for a little good-night talk.”
“Oh, I am so glad, papa!” she cried, her face lighting up with joy, then went skipping and dancing to her room, hurried through her preparations for the night, and when she heard his approaching footsteps, ran to open the door and bid him welcome.
“It seems such a long while I’ve been without this, the pleasantest of all my times,” she said, as he sat down and drew her into his arms with the old fond gesture and tender caress.
“Well, daughter,” he said, “shall I give you another week of freedom from my control and being your own mistress? or have you had enough of it?”
“Oh, quite,quiteenough, papa! a great dealmorethan enough!” she exclaimed, nestling closer in his arms. “I do think I’ll never want to be my own mistress again while I have such a dear, wise, kind father to rule and direct me; to love and care for me. Papa, I actually feelhungry for an order from you, that I may have the pleasure of obeying it. And oh, it will be so delightful to wait on you and do all sorts of little things for you again, if only you will let me!”
“Gladly, dear child,” he said, holding her close to his heart; “you can scarcely rejoice more than your father does in your restoration to a daughter’s place. I have found it a sad thing to have to do without the loving services of my dear daughter Lulu, and this sweet interchange of endearments with her.”
“Oh, it is ever so sweet to me!” she said. “But,” as if struck by a sudden and not pleasant thought, “aren’t you going to punish me now for my disobedience? Don’t you have to, because of your Bible orders?”
“I think not; I think you are penitent enough this time to make it right for me to accord you free forgiveness; and I am very,veryglad to do so,” he said, repeating his caresses.
THE END.