KIND HEARTS

There are no bigger hearts for their bodiesAnd no kinder hearts on this earthThan the big juicy red hearts of melons,To mortals fair jewels of worth.The "King Water Melon," the big heart,Of all earthly melons the best,He clings to the earth, his good mother,And never once leaves her warm breast.And so when he's grown he's a big heart,Which helps both the great and the small,When fevers are burning our parched throatsOr if we are thirsty at all.These kind hearts are always so coolingAnd taste, oh, so good and so sweet,I'm sure that they once grew in EdenFor our Father Adam to eat.

There are no bigger hearts for their bodies

And no kinder hearts on this earth

Than the big juicy red hearts of melons,

To mortals fair jewels of worth.

The "King Water Melon," the big heart,

Of all earthly melons the best,

He clings to the earth, his good mother,

And never once leaves her warm breast.

And so when he's grown he's a big heart,

Which helps both the great and the small,

When fevers are burning our parched throats

Or if we are thirsty at all.

These kind hearts are always so cooling

And taste, oh, so good and so sweet,

I'm sure that they once grew in Eden

For our Father Adam to eat.

HENS

What curious birds are common hens!They make good broth and even pens.They have no teeth, no hair, no nose,But sport a comb red as a rose.They have no arms or funny bonesThat causes folks to let forth groans,Their victuals they all swallow wholeAnd use a craw for a chopping bowl.They have no hands, they have no wrists,And without hands they can't make fists,But for one thing they should rejoiceAnd cluck aloud with cheerful voice;Not having hands, they have no nails,Which are the cause of many wails,For once a week we girls and boysMust put aside our games and toysAnd all our nice exciting tales,While mother trims our finger nails.

What curious birds are common hens!

They make good broth and even pens.

They have no teeth, no hair, no nose,

But sport a comb red as a rose.

They have no arms or funny bones

That causes folks to let forth groans,

Their victuals they all swallow whole

And use a craw for a chopping bowl.

They have no hands, they have no wrists,

And without hands they can't make fists,

But for one thing they should rejoice

And cluck aloud with cheerful voice;

Not having hands, they have no nails,

Which are the cause of many wails,

For once a week we girls and boys

Must put aside our games and toys

And all our nice exciting tales,

While mother trims our finger nails.

NISSEN, THE SANTA CLAUS OF NORWAY

How glad I am that I was born in this land very dear,Where children have a Santa Claus of whom they have no fear;A Santa who is always kind, remembering one and allWhen every year at Christmas time, he pays us all a call.In far away chill Norway, there NISSEN is the nameOf the Christmas visitor who bears good Santa's fame;But he's a naughty brownie so short and very small,Not a bit like Santa who pays us all a call.But, like our good gift giver, his beard is long and white,And he wears a coat of furs and many colors bright.But instead of bringing goodies to good girls and to boys,Nice new clothes and books and games and lots of wondrous toys,He expects that all big folks and also little onesShould leave his favorite dishes, such as puddings, cakes and buns,Outside of every doorway so that he may eat at willOf these luscious dainties until he has had his fill.Then after eating all the cakes his "tummy-tum" can hold,He milks the cows and splits the wood (at least, so I've been told),But never thinks to bring nice gifts to little girls and boysWhose parents have to trim their trees and buy them all their toys.Besides, this naughty NISSEN is cross at times and bad,And does all sorts of horrid tricks which I think very sadAt Christmas when we all should be so kind to one another,And treat each person whom we meet as if he were our brother.But NISSEN steals away the cows and even horses fleet,From all the people who forget to bake him puddings sweet;And if above a whisper one should dare to speak or singAbout this cranky fellow, then this evil he will bringUpon the one who dared to throw his name upon the breeze,As from that time the guilty one must sneeze and sneeze and sneeze.Now in our land we sing loud praise of Santa all the time,And tell about his goodness great, in prose and jingling rhyme;And yet it seems the more we sing about the jolly elf,The more he brings each year to us upon the mantel shelf.But children in far Norway are better girls and boysThan we who live in this fair land and think so much of toysThat we forget about the pets while feeding our own selvesLike thoughtless, greedy little pigs or naughty selfish elves.While Norway children in the fall they work to gather cornAnd save it for the birds they feed on every Christmas morn;So we should follow in their steps and feed the wee birds crumbsBefore we start to feast ourselves on Christmas sugar plums.

How glad I am that I was born in this land very dear,

Where children have a Santa Claus of whom they have no fear;

A Santa who is always kind, remembering one and all

When every year at Christmas time, he pays us all a call.

In far away chill Norway, there NISSEN is the nameOf the Christmas visitor who bears good Santa's fame;But he's a naughty brownie so short and very small,Not a bit like Santa who pays us all a call.

In far away chill Norway, there NISSEN is the name

Of the Christmas visitor who bears good Santa's fame;

But he's a naughty brownie so short and very small,

Not a bit like Santa who pays us all a call.

But, like our good gift giver, his beard is long and white,And he wears a coat of furs and many colors bright.But instead of bringing goodies to good girls and to boys,Nice new clothes and books and games and lots of wondrous toys,

But, like our good gift giver, his beard is long and white,

And he wears a coat of furs and many colors bright.

But instead of bringing goodies to good girls and to boys,

Nice new clothes and books and games and lots of wondrous toys,

He expects that all big folks and also little onesShould leave his favorite dishes, such as puddings, cakes and buns,Outside of every doorway so that he may eat at willOf these luscious dainties until he has had his fill.Then after eating all the cakes his "tummy-tum" can hold,He milks the cows and splits the wood (at least, so I've been told),But never thinks to bring nice gifts to little girls and boysWhose parents have to trim their trees and buy them all their toys.

He expects that all big folks and also little ones

Should leave his favorite dishes, such as puddings, cakes and buns,

Outside of every doorway so that he may eat at will

Of these luscious dainties until he has had his fill.

Then after eating all the cakes his "tummy-tum" can hold,

He milks the cows and splits the wood (at least, so I've been told),

But never thinks to bring nice gifts to little girls and boys

Whose parents have to trim their trees and buy them all their toys.

Besides, this naughty NISSEN is cross at times and bad,And does all sorts of horrid tricks which I think very sadAt Christmas when we all should be so kind to one another,And treat each person whom we meet as if he were our brother.

Besides, this naughty NISSEN is cross at times and bad,

And does all sorts of horrid tricks which I think very sad

At Christmas when we all should be so kind to one another,

And treat each person whom we meet as if he were our brother.

But NISSEN steals away the cows and even horses fleet,From all the people who forget to bake him puddings sweet;And if above a whisper one should dare to speak or singAbout this cranky fellow, then this evil he will bringUpon the one who dared to throw his name upon the breeze,As from that time the guilty one must sneeze and sneeze and sneeze.

But NISSEN steals away the cows and even horses fleet,

From all the people who forget to bake him puddings sweet;

And if above a whisper one should dare to speak or sing

About this cranky fellow, then this evil he will bring

Upon the one who dared to throw his name upon the breeze,

Now in our land we sing loud praise of Santa all the time,And tell about his goodness great, in prose and jingling rhyme;And yet it seems the more we sing about the jolly elf,The more he brings each year to us upon the mantel shelf.

Now in our land we sing loud praise of Santa all the time,

And tell about his goodness great, in prose and jingling rhyme;

And yet it seems the more we sing about the jolly elf,

But children in far Norway are better girls and boysThan we who live in this fair land and think so much of toysThat we forget about the pets while feeding our own selvesLike thoughtless, greedy little pigs or naughty selfish elves.

But children in far Norway are better girls and boys

Than we who live in this fair land and think so much of toys

That we forget about the pets while feeding our own selves

While Norway children in the fall they work to gather cornAnd save it for the birds they feed on every Christmas morn;So we should follow in their steps and feed the wee birds crumbsBefore we start to feast ourselves on Christmas sugar plums.

While Norway children in the fall they work to gather corn

And save it for the birds they feed on every Christmas morn;

So we should follow in their steps and feed the wee birds crumbs

A CHRISTMAS WISH FOR ALL MY FRIENDS

While Christmas bells are chiming, oh, may there come to youA dear sweet little fairy, who's always good and true;The little happy fairy, who drives away dull care,And makes all things upon the earth seem ever bright and fair.She'll whisper to good Santa to bring what you most wish;So if you have been longing for a fine pudding dish,She will not, as in by-gone years, forget and bring to youSomething that you do not want, though beautiful and new.

While Christmas bells are chiming, oh, may there come to you

A dear sweet little fairy, who's always good and true;

The little happy fairy, who drives away dull care,

And makes all things upon the earth seem ever bright and fair.

She'll whisper to good Santa to bring what you most wish;So if you have been longing for a fine pudding dish,She will not, as in by-gone years, forget and bring to youSomething that you do not want, though beautiful and new.

She'll whisper to good Santa to bring what you most wish;

So if you have been longing for a fine pudding dish,

She will not, as in by-gone years, forget and bring to you

Something that you do not want, though beautiful and new.

SANTA'S REINDEER IN THE SKY

Long, long ago before this earth had any girls and boysTo hang their stockings on the shelf expecting Christmas toys,Good Santa was a big white cloud that floated in the sky;If you had lived in those old days, you'd seen him floating by.But when the children came to rule upon good Mother Earth,She took kind Santa from the sky and made him God of Mirth;To bring at every Christmas time good gifts to girls and boysAnd make them all so happy with a lot of lovely toys.Far, far among the icebergs, in the cold and freezing zone,She built for him a palace, where he lives almost alone,With only good old Mrs. Claus to keep him company,And sometimes Cousin Nicholas for two days or for three.Wise Mother Earth she knew this clime would suit good Santa well,For here no foolish, idle folks would ever come to dwell;Nor pay the good Saint visits which would waste his precious time,While he could work much faster here than in a warmer clime.But never did he suffer from the icebergs at the Pole,As fairies kept his fireplace all full of red-hot coal;Or heaped bright burning logs on it as full as it could hold,So Santa never felt a tweak of Jack Frost's biting cold.Likewise the fairies brought to him and his most faithful spouse,Just everything that they could need to keep a cozy house.And even cooked their victuals and brought them every dayExactly at the proper time, upon a huge hot tray.And after they had eaten all the dainties on the tray,The good kind fairies quickly came and took the tray away;So Mrs. Claus had no excuse for being cross or sad,Since no experience she had had with Bridgets getting mad.When Santa finished all his toys, he put them in a sack,Where he intended carrying them just like a pedler's pack,But Mother Earth surprised the Saint and to his palace ledEight lovely prancing reindeer and a large commodious sled.These reindeer were the cousins of swift Pegasus, the steedWho helped the hero Perseus when he was in great need;And, like the flying hero horse, they lived up in the sky,Till Mother Earth had need of them to help old Santa fly.And so on every Christmas eve for full ten hundred years,Good Santa and his reindeer fleet have banished children's tearsBy bringing them most all the gifts their little hearts could wish,And filling stockings, shoes and plates, and even puddin dish.But when last Christmas came around, good Mother Earth, she said,"Dear Santa, I have something fine for you to use insteadOf your good, faithful reindeer and your big old-fashioned sled,For here's a lovely aeroplane, all painted shining red."The wise old lady then declared that he could safely flyWith this machine most anywhere away up in the sky,And travel far, far faster than the reindeer who were fleetBut stumbled sometimes on the roofs made slippery with sleet.The aeroplane could carry well a larger load of toys,So he could visit more good girls and also little boys,Who live in far off heathen lands where everyone's a sinner,But that's no reason each should do without a Christmas dinner.With this machine he'd save some time to look out for each petOf all the little girls and boys, as they so oft forgetTo treat their pets most kindly upon the Christmas mornIn memory of the Saviour who on this day was born.And likewise all the horses, the cows and pigs and sheep,For men so seldom think of them when Christmas time they keep;And even wild, fierce animals, and fishes in the sea,Should all be made quite happy at Christmas time to be."I do not like this plan at all of giving up my sledAnd my good faithful reindeer," so good old Santa said.But Mother Earth she laughed at him and said she would repayThe reindeer, whom she would send home straight to the Milky Way.But Santa was old-fashioned and had great fears to flyWithout his sled and reindeer, he'd used in years gone by,And begged that on his maiden trip these true old friends to takeTo help him should the aeroplane prove but a wicked fake.The laughing Earth then granted him this very small request,And early on glad Christmas eve (the eve of all most blest)He started forth upon his trip, did good old Santa dear,Guiding his Wright aeroplane with feelings of great fear.But Mother Earth showed she was wise and knew just what was bestTo help the good old tired saint while on his children quest;And fast the good Wright aeroplane it flew both low and high,So Santa took the Earth's advice, and though he heaved a sigh,He dropped the poor old worn-out sled as he was passing by,And people said, who saw it fall, "A meteor from the sky!"Then, kissing each good reindeer, he bade them all farewell,And left them in the Milky Way, forever there to dwell.And you, my little playmates, who have heard the tiny hoofsOf the wondrous flying steeds pattering on the roofs,If you would like to catch a glimpse of Santa's good reindeer,Then wait until it's dark some night, and when the sky is clear,You'll see them very plainly in the broad light Milky Way,And there, for all the time to come, these steeds will romp and play.

Long, long ago before this earth had any girls and boys

To hang their stockings on the shelf expecting Christmas toys,

Good Santa was a big white cloud that floated in the sky;

If you had lived in those old days, you'd seen him floating by.

But when the children came to rule upon good Mother Earth,She took kind Santa from the sky and made him God of Mirth;To bring at every Christmas time good gifts to girls and boysAnd make them all so happy with a lot of lovely toys.

But when the children came to rule upon good Mother Earth,

She took kind Santa from the sky and made him God of Mirth;

To bring at every Christmas time good gifts to girls and boys

And make them all so happy with a lot of lovely toys.

Far, far among the icebergs, in the cold and freezing zone,She built for him a palace, where he lives almost alone,With only good old Mrs. Claus to keep him company,And sometimes Cousin Nicholas for two days or for three.Wise Mother Earth she knew this clime would suit good Santa well,For here no foolish, idle folks would ever come to dwell;Nor pay the good Saint visits which would waste his precious time,While he could work much faster here than in a warmer clime.

Far, far among the icebergs, in the cold and freezing zone,

She built for him a palace, where he lives almost alone,

With only good old Mrs. Claus to keep him company,

And sometimes Cousin Nicholas for two days or for three.

Wise Mother Earth she knew this clime would suit good Santa well,

For here no foolish, idle folks would ever come to dwell;

Nor pay the good Saint visits which would waste his precious time,

While he could work much faster here than in a warmer clime.

But never did he suffer from the icebergs at the Pole,As fairies kept his fireplace all full of red-hot coal;Or heaped bright burning logs on it as full as it could hold,So Santa never felt a tweak of Jack Frost's biting cold.

But never did he suffer from the icebergs at the Pole,

As fairies kept his fireplace all full of red-hot coal;

Or heaped bright burning logs on it as full as it could hold,

So Santa never felt a tweak of Jack Frost's biting cold.

Likewise the fairies brought to him and his most faithful spouse,Just everything that they could need to keep a cozy house.And even cooked their victuals and brought them every dayExactly at the proper time, upon a huge hot tray.

Likewise the fairies brought to him and his most faithful spouse,

Just everything that they could need to keep a cozy house.

And even cooked their victuals and brought them every day

Exactly at the proper time, upon a huge hot tray.

And after they had eaten all the dainties on the tray,The good kind fairies quickly came and took the tray away;So Mrs. Claus had no excuse for being cross or sad,Since no experience she had had with Bridgets getting mad.

And after they had eaten all the dainties on the tray,

The good kind fairies quickly came and took the tray away;

So Mrs. Claus had no excuse for being cross or sad,

Since no experience she had had with Bridgets getting mad.

When Santa finished all his toys, he put them in a sack,Where he intended carrying them just like a pedler's pack,But Mother Earth surprised the Saint and to his palace ledEight lovely prancing reindeer and a large commodious sled.

When Santa finished all his toys, he put them in a sack,

Where he intended carrying them just like a pedler's pack,

But Mother Earth surprised the Saint and to his palace led

Eight lovely prancing reindeer and a large commodious sled.

These reindeer were the cousins of swift Pegasus, the steedWho helped the hero Perseus when he was in great need;And, like the flying hero horse, they lived up in the sky,Till Mother Earth had need of them to help old Santa fly.

These reindeer were the cousins of swift Pegasus, the steed

Who helped the hero Perseus when he was in great need;

And, like the flying hero horse, they lived up in the sky,

Till Mother Earth had need of them to help old Santa fly.

And so on every Christmas eve for full ten hundred years,Good Santa and his reindeer fleet have banished children's tearsBy bringing them most all the gifts their little hearts could wish,And filling stockings, shoes and plates, and even puddin dish.

And so on every Christmas eve for full ten hundred years,

Good Santa and his reindeer fleet have banished children's tears

By bringing them most all the gifts their little hearts could wish,

And filling stockings, shoes and plates, and even puddin dish.

But when last Christmas came around, good Mother Earth, she said,"Dear Santa, I have something fine for you to use insteadOf your good, faithful reindeer and your big old-fashioned sled,For here's a lovely aeroplane, all painted shining red."

But when last Christmas came around, good Mother Earth, she said,

"Dear Santa, I have something fine for you to use instead

Of your good, faithful reindeer and your big old-fashioned sled,

For here's a lovely aeroplane, all painted shining red."

The wise old lady then declared that he could safely flyWith this machine most anywhere away up in the sky,And travel far, far faster than the reindeer who were fleetBut stumbled sometimes on the roofs made slippery with sleet.

The wise old lady then declared that he could safely fly

With this machine most anywhere away up in the sky,

And travel far, far faster than the reindeer who were fleet

But stumbled sometimes on the roofs made slippery with sleet.

The aeroplane could carry well a larger load of toys,So he could visit more good girls and also little boys,Who live in far off heathen lands where everyone's a sinner,But that's no reason each should do without a Christmas dinner.With this machine he'd save some time to look out for each petOf all the little girls and boys, as they so oft forgetTo treat their pets most kindly upon the Christmas mornIn memory of the Saviour who on this day was born.

The aeroplane could carry well a larger load of toys,

So he could visit more good girls and also little boys,

Who live in far off heathen lands where everyone's a sinner,

But that's no reason each should do without a Christmas dinner.

With this machine he'd save some time to look out for each pet

Of all the little girls and boys, as they so oft forget

To treat their pets most kindly upon the Christmas morn

In memory of the Saviour who on this day was born.

And likewise all the horses, the cows and pigs and sheep,For men so seldom think of them when Christmas time they keep;And even wild, fierce animals, and fishes in the sea,Should all be made quite happy at Christmas time to be.

And likewise all the horses, the cows and pigs and sheep,

For men so seldom think of them when Christmas time they keep;

And even wild, fierce animals, and fishes in the sea,

Should all be made quite happy at Christmas time to be.

"I do not like this plan at all of giving up my sledAnd my good faithful reindeer," so good old Santa said.But Mother Earth she laughed at him and said she would repayThe reindeer, whom she would send home straight to the Milky Way.

"I do not like this plan at all of giving up my sled

And my good faithful reindeer," so good old Santa said.

But Mother Earth she laughed at him and said she would repay

The reindeer, whom she would send home straight to the Milky Way.

But Santa was old-fashioned and had great fears to flyWithout his sled and reindeer, he'd used in years gone by,And begged that on his maiden trip these true old friends to takeTo help him should the aeroplane prove but a wicked fake.The laughing Earth then granted him this very small request,And early on glad Christmas eve (the eve of all most blest)He started forth upon his trip, did good old Santa dear,Guiding his Wright aeroplane with feelings of great fear.

But Santa was old-fashioned and had great fears to fly

Without his sled and reindeer, he'd used in years gone by,

And begged that on his maiden trip these true old friends to take

To help him should the aeroplane prove but a wicked fake.

The laughing Earth then granted him this very small request,

And early on glad Christmas eve (the eve of all most blest)

He started forth upon his trip, did good old Santa dear,

Guiding his Wright aeroplane with feelings of great fear.

But Mother Earth showed she was wise and knew just what was bestTo help the good old tired saint while on his children quest;And fast the good Wright aeroplane it flew both low and high,So Santa took the Earth's advice, and though he heaved a sigh,

But Mother Earth showed she was wise and knew just what was best

To help the good old tired saint while on his children quest;

And fast the good Wright aeroplane it flew both low and high,

So Santa took the Earth's advice, and though he heaved a sigh,

He dropped the poor old worn-out sled as he was passing by,And people said, who saw it fall, "A meteor from the sky!"Then, kissing each good reindeer, he bade them all farewell,And left them in the Milky Way, forever there to dwell.And you, my little playmates, who have heard the tiny hoofsOf the wondrous flying steeds pattering on the roofs,If you would like to catch a glimpse of Santa's good reindeer,Then wait until it's dark some night, and when the sky is clear,You'll see them very plainly in the broad light Milky Way,And there, for all the time to come, these steeds will romp and play.

He dropped the poor old worn-out sled as he was passing by,

And people said, who saw it fall, "A meteor from the sky!"

Then, kissing each good reindeer, he bade them all farewell,

And left them in the Milky Way, forever there to dwell.

And you, my little playmates, who have heard the tiny hoofs

Of the wondrous flying steeds pattering on the roofs,

If you would like to catch a glimpse of Santa's good reindeer,

Then wait until it's dark some night, and when the sky is clear,

You'll see them very plainly in the broad light Milky Way,

And there, for all the time to come, these steeds will romp and play.

ALL DENTISTS GO TO HEAVEN

I don't like dentists, because they hurt meWith horrid bad pinchers as sharp as can be.They pick at my teeth and scratch in my headUntil I begin to wish I were dead.But I read in the paper (so I suppose it's so)That all of the dentists to Heaven will go,Because they are needed away up thereTo make gold crowns for the angels fair.

I don't like dentists, because they hurt me

With horrid bad pinchers as sharp as can be.

They pick at my teeth and scratch in my head

Until I begin to wish I were dead.

But I read in the paper (so I suppose it's so)

That all of the dentists to Heaven will go,

Because they are needed away up there

To make gold crowns for the angels fair.

MABEL AT THE BUTCHER SHOP

When Mabel went with MotherTo buy some chops for tea,She gazed in awestruck horrorAt sawdust she could see,Sprinkled over all the floor,To north, south, east and west,And as wee Mabel saw itHer heart was sore oppressed.She hated all the butchersAnd yearned to be at home,Where she could guard her dollyAnd teach her not to roamAfar to shops of butchers,As now wee Mabel knewThat butchers hurt poor dolliesAnd stab them through and through,So all their nice warm stuffingsWould flow from every poreAnd cover well with sawdustThe butcher's dirty floor.

When Mabel went with Mother

To buy some chops for tea,

She gazed in awestruck horror

At sawdust she could see,

Sprinkled over all the floor,

To north, south, east and west,

And as wee Mabel saw it

Her heart was sore oppressed.

She hated all the butchersAnd yearned to be at home,Where she could guard her dollyAnd teach her not to roamAfar to shops of butchers,As now wee Mabel knewThat butchers hurt poor dolliesAnd stab them through and through,So all their nice warm stuffingsWould flow from every poreAnd cover well with sawdustThe butcher's dirty floor.

She hated all the butchers

And yearned to be at home,

Where she could guard her dolly

And teach her not to roam

Afar to shops of butchers,

As now wee Mabel knew

That butchers hurt poor dollies

And stab them through and through,

So all their nice warm stuffings

Would flow from every pore

And cover well with sawdust

The butcher's dirty floor.

THANKSGIVING IN 20,000 A. D.

"Oh, how the ways have changed with menSince the good days of nineteen ten,When I was living on the earthAnd joining in Thanksgiving mirth!"A nineteen hundred spirit criedAs many people he espiedWhile gazing on old Mother EarthYears twenty thousand since her birth.Long, long ago, as poets say,For good Thanksgiving holidayA feast was spread of nice mince pies.Of turkeys of tremendous size,Cranberry sauce, and giblet stew,Potatoes, corn and ice cream, too,With salads, raisins, nuts and cake,And all the pastry "Ma" could bake.These days, alas! they don't believeThat any stomach should receiveA mixture of such tasty things,And as folks float upon their wingsThey take some predigested pills,Which, so they say, keep off all ills.And now on good Thanksgiving DayThere is no feasting, as folks say—"We wish to live for many years,And of all eating we have fears.The doctors say corn's full of wormsKnown as pellagra's awful germs,That turkeys cause appendicitis,Scarlet fever, stomachtitis;That products of the frying panCause great distress to every man;That puddings bring us naught but woe,And therefore we should let them go.We ne'er will sit around a tableAnd eat as long as we are able,Then put it in the daily paperThat Mrs. X. cut such a caperAs to invite fair Madame P.To dine with her or drink some tea.'Tis vulgar, common, so we think,To go about and eat and drink,While people watch us taking foodWhich we consider very rude;So to dark closets we retireWhen NATURE calls for more food-fire,And there on this Thanksgiving DayWe all will go, though not to pray,But predigested powders takeInstead of turkey, pie and cake."

"Oh, how the ways have changed with men

Since the good days of nineteen ten,

When I was living on the earth

And joining in Thanksgiving mirth!"

A nineteen hundred spirit cried

As many people he espied

While gazing on old Mother Earth

Years twenty thousand since her birth.

Long, long ago, as poets say,For good Thanksgiving holidayA feast was spread of nice mince pies.Of turkeys of tremendous size,Cranberry sauce, and giblet stew,Potatoes, corn and ice cream, too,With salads, raisins, nuts and cake,And all the pastry "Ma" could bake.

Long, long ago, as poets say,

For good Thanksgiving holiday

A feast was spread of nice mince pies.

Of turkeys of tremendous size,

Cranberry sauce, and giblet stew,

Potatoes, corn and ice cream, too,

With salads, raisins, nuts and cake,

And all the pastry "Ma" could bake.

These days, alas! they don't believeThat any stomach should receiveA mixture of such tasty things,And as folks float upon their wingsThey take some predigested pills,Which, so they say, keep off all ills.

These days, alas! they don't believe

That any stomach should receive

A mixture of such tasty things,

And as folks float upon their wings

They take some predigested pills,

Which, so they say, keep off all ills.

And now on good Thanksgiving DayThere is no feasting, as folks say—"We wish to live for many years,And of all eating we have fears.The doctors say corn's full of wormsKnown as pellagra's awful germs,That turkeys cause appendicitis,Scarlet fever, stomachtitis;That products of the frying panCause great distress to every man;That puddings bring us naught but woe,And therefore we should let them go.

And now on good Thanksgiving Day

There is no feasting, as folks say—

"We wish to live for many years,

And of all eating we have fears.

The doctors say corn's full of worms

Known as pellagra's awful germs,

That turkeys cause appendicitis,

Scarlet fever, stomachtitis;

That products of the frying pan

Cause great distress to every man;

That puddings bring us naught but woe,

And therefore we should let them go.

We ne'er will sit around a tableAnd eat as long as we are able,Then put it in the daily paperThat Mrs. X. cut such a caperAs to invite fair Madame P.To dine with her or drink some tea.'Tis vulgar, common, so we think,To go about and eat and drink,While people watch us taking foodWhich we consider very rude;So to dark closets we retireWhen NATURE calls for more food-fire,And there on this Thanksgiving DayWe all will go, though not to pray,But predigested powders takeInstead of turkey, pie and cake."

We ne'er will sit around a table

And eat as long as we are able,

Then put it in the daily paper

That Mrs. X. cut such a caper

As to invite fair Madame P.

To dine with her or drink some tea.

'Tis vulgar, common, so we think,

To go about and eat and drink,

While people watch us taking food

Which we consider very rude;

So to dark closets we retire

When NATURE calls for more food-fire,

And there on this Thanksgiving Day

We all will go, though not to pray,

But predigested powders take

Instead of turkey, pie and cake."

ON THANKSGIVING

Before you eat good turkey, rich mince and pumpkin piesOn that great feast of feast days when "tum-tums" grow in size,The good old day THANKSGIVING, the best day in the year,When all should be so thankful around the board of cheer.Then don't forget the poor ones, the hungry, cold and sad,Go fill their empty tables and make the whole world glad

Before you eat good turkey, rich mince and pumpkin pies

On that great feast of feast days when "tum-tums" grow in size,

The good old day THANKSGIVING, the best day in the year,

When all should be so thankful around the board of cheer.

Then don't forget the poor ones, the hungry, cold and sad,

Go fill their empty tables and make the whole world glad

THE PETS' CHRISTMAS CAROL

"Tweet—tweet—tweet!" sang the canary,Which meant that he was very merry,Because his little mistress, Nell,On Christmas eve had fed him well."Bow—wow—wow!" sang the gay young pup,"My master's gone away to sup,But though he won't be here for tea,Just see the meal he left for me!""Mew—mew—mew!" sang the mama cat,"Such milk as this will make me fat,And, oh, I feel so very gayThis cold and frosty Christmas day."Each mama cow sang "Moo—moo—moo!"And gentle dove sang—"Coo—coo—coo."And every horse and sheep and pig,And duck and chicken, small and big,A carol sang on Christmas eve,Because a feast each did receive.

"Tweet—tweet—tweet!" sang the canary,Which meant that he was very merry,Because his little mistress, Nell,On Christmas eve had fed him well.

"Tweet—tweet—tweet!" sang the canary,

Which meant that he was very merry,

Because his little mistress, Nell,

On Christmas eve had fed him well.

"Bow—wow—wow!" sang the gay young pup,"My master's gone away to sup,But though he won't be here for tea,Just see the meal he left for me!"

"Bow—wow—wow!" sang the gay young pup,

"My master's gone away to sup,

But though he won't be here for tea,

Just see the meal he left for me!"

"Mew—mew—mew!" sang the mama cat,"Such milk as this will make me fat,And, oh, I feel so very gayThis cold and frosty Christmas day."

"Mew—mew—mew!" sang the mama cat,

"Such milk as this will make me fat,

And, oh, I feel so very gay

This cold and frosty Christmas day."

Each mama cow sang "Moo—moo—moo!"And gentle dove sang—"Coo—coo—coo."And every horse and sheep and pig,And duck and chicken, small and big,A carol sang on Christmas eve,Because a feast each did receive.

Each mama cow sang "Moo—moo—moo!"

And gentle dove sang—"Coo—coo—coo."

And every horse and sheep and pig,

And duck and chicken, small and big,

A carol sang on Christmas eve,

Because a feast each did receive.

ONLY NAUGHTY CHILDREN SEE "SPOOKS" ON HALLOWE'EN

Witches and goblins, spooks and elves,With sprites and gnomes from elf-land delves,To-night are flying here and there,Yes, up and down and everywhere.For this one night in all the yearThey rule the earth and bring great fearTo all the naughty little boysWho tease good girls and break their toys.These spooks they also make girls sadWhen they are selfish, cross and bad;So when it's dark, bad boys and maids.They see these awful fearsome shades,And that is why with covered heads,They trembling lie in their warm beds.But even there they goblins see,Spooks and gnomes, and all that beAbroad upon weird Hallowe'enWhen all the wizards may be seenBy naughty kids and grown-up folksWho like to play most wicked jokes.But good young girls and gentle boys,The kids who are their mothers' joys,They like the dark just as the light,For spooks ne'er come within their sight,And in their dreams the lovely elvesShow them bright scenes from fairy delves.So, if to-night you are afraidOf any spook or any shade,Well know you are a naughty child,So cross and wilful, rude and wild.

Witches and goblins, spooks and elves,

With sprites and gnomes from elf-land delves,

To-night are flying here and there,

Yes, up and down and everywhere.

For this one night in all the year

They rule the earth and bring great fear

To all the naughty little boys

Who tease good girls and break their toys.

These spooks they also make girls sadWhen they are selfish, cross and bad;So when it's dark, bad boys and maids.They see these awful fearsome shades,And that is why with covered heads,They trembling lie in their warm beds.

These spooks they also make girls sad

When they are selfish, cross and bad;

So when it's dark, bad boys and maids.

They see these awful fearsome shades,

And that is why with covered heads,

They trembling lie in their warm beds.

But even there they goblins see,Spooks and gnomes, and all that beAbroad upon weird Hallowe'enWhen all the wizards may be seenBy naughty kids and grown-up folksWho like to play most wicked jokes.But good young girls and gentle boys,The kids who are their mothers' joys,They like the dark just as the light,For spooks ne'er come within their sight,And in their dreams the lovely elvesShow them bright scenes from fairy delves.

But even there they goblins see,

Spooks and gnomes, and all that be

Abroad upon weird Hallowe'en

When all the wizards may be seen

By naughty kids and grown-up folks

Who like to play most wicked jokes.

But good young girls and gentle boys,

The kids who are their mothers' joys,

They like the dark just as the light,

For spooks ne'er come within their sight,

And in their dreams the lovely elves

Show them bright scenes from fairy delves.

So, if to-night you are afraidOf any spook or any shade,Well know you are a naughty child,So cross and wilful, rude and wild.

So, if to-night you are afraid

Of any spook or any shade,

Well know you are a naughty child,

So cross and wilful, rude and wild.

MY EASTER WISH

May flowers of JOYAt EASTER bloomWithin your heart,Where weeds of gloomWill fail to findA place to growWhile JOY remainsAs gloom-weeds' foe.

May flowers of JOY

At EASTER bloom

Within your heart,

Where weeds of gloom

Will fail to find

A place to grow

While JOY remains

As gloom-weeds' foe.

A WHINGWANG SONNET OF AN EASTER BONNET

Once there was a little girl,But she didn't have a curl,Though she had an Easter bonnetWith ostrich plumes and flowers on it,Since like her mother she aspiredÀ la mode to be attired.But when she rose on Easter mornWith deepest grief her heart was torn,For, oh, alas! the rain was fallingIn torrents great; to her appalling,As well she knew 'twould spoil her bonnetWith ostrich plumes and flowers on it.Her hair in papers she had wornThe whole night through and tortures borneIn hopes to have a curl or twoTo wear beneath her bonnet new.But now, alas, the horrid rainWould make her hair all straight again.And so with fear of straightened hair,Which might cause folks to laugh and stare,And likewise to protect her bonnetWith ostrich plumes and flowers on it,She thought it best to stay awayFrom Sabbath school on Easter day.

Once there was a little girl,But she didn't have a curl,Though she had an Easter bonnetWith ostrich plumes and flowers on it,Since like her mother she aspiredÀ la mode to be attired.

Once there was a little girl,

But she didn't have a curl,

Though she had an Easter bonnet

With ostrich plumes and flowers on it,

Since like her mother she aspired

À la mode to be attired.

But when she rose on Easter mornWith deepest grief her heart was torn,For, oh, alas! the rain was fallingIn torrents great; to her appalling,As well she knew 'twould spoil her bonnetWith ostrich plumes and flowers on it.

But when she rose on Easter morn

With deepest grief her heart was torn,

For, oh, alas! the rain was falling

In torrents great; to her appalling,

As well she knew 'twould spoil her bonnet

With ostrich plumes and flowers on it.

Her hair in papers she had wornThe whole night through and tortures borneIn hopes to have a curl or twoTo wear beneath her bonnet new.But now, alas, the horrid rainWould make her hair all straight again.

Her hair in papers she had worn

The whole night through and tortures borne

In hopes to have a curl or two

To wear beneath her bonnet new.

But now, alas, the horrid rain

Would make her hair all straight again.

And so with fear of straightened hair,Which might cause folks to laugh and stare,And likewise to protect her bonnetWith ostrich plumes and flowers on it,She thought it best to stay awayFrom Sabbath school on Easter day.

And so with fear of straightened hair,

Which might cause folks to laugh and stare,

And likewise to protect her bonnet

With ostrich plumes and flowers on it,

She thought it best to stay away

From Sabbath school on Easter day.

MIDSUMMER JOYS

Give me the joys of summer,Of SUMMER QUEEN so fair,With wealth of lovely flowersAnd fruits and sun-kissed air!Talk not to me of winterWith ice and frost and snow,Nor changing spring and autumnWhen howling winds will blow.No, I will take the joysOf SUMMER every time,So to this Queen of SeasonsI dedicate my rhyme.

Give me the joys of summer,Of SUMMER QUEEN so fair,With wealth of lovely flowersAnd fruits and sun-kissed air!

Give me the joys of summer,

Of SUMMER QUEEN so fair,

With wealth of lovely flowers

And fruits and sun-kissed air!

Talk not to me of winterWith ice and frost and snow,Nor changing spring and autumnWhen howling winds will blow.

Talk not to me of winter

With ice and frost and snow,

Nor changing spring and autumn

When howling winds will blow.

No, I will take the joysOf SUMMER every time,So to this Queen of SeasonsI dedicate my rhyme.

No, I will take the joys

Of SUMMER every time,

So to this Queen of Seasons

I dedicate my rhyme.

AFTER THE FOURTH WAS OVER

After the Fourth was over, after the play was done,Poor little John and Willie forgot that they'd had some fun;John, with his eyes all bandaged, Willie with one eye gone,Had changed from joyous boys, who rose with the FOURTH'S bright dawn,Determined to shoot great cannons and frighten some silly girls,To tie big crackers to dogs' tails, and make the pin wheels whirl.Tommy with one hand bound up and with a bepowdered face,Alex with two burned fingers and bones nearly all out of place;Edgar with one leg broken and poor little Peter with two,Thought that they'd had enough sorrow to last them a whole life through,But Mother, who heard them crying, while soothing her darlings to sleep,Was thankful that some of the pieces she yet was able to keep,And sad for the weeping mother of poor naughty, unlucky Jim,As the booming JULY CELEBRATION blew the whole head off of him.

After the Fourth was over, after the play was done,

Poor little John and Willie forgot that they'd had some fun;

John, with his eyes all bandaged, Willie with one eye gone,

Had changed from joyous boys, who rose with the FOURTH'S bright dawn,

Determined to shoot great cannons and frighten some silly girls,

To tie big crackers to dogs' tails, and make the pin wheels whirl.

Tommy with one hand bound up and with a bepowdered face,Alex with two burned fingers and bones nearly all out of place;Edgar with one leg broken and poor little Peter with two,Thought that they'd had enough sorrow to last them a whole life through,But Mother, who heard them crying, while soothing her darlings to sleep,Was thankful that some of the pieces she yet was able to keep,And sad for the weeping mother of poor naughty, unlucky Jim,As the booming JULY CELEBRATION blew the whole head off of him.

Tommy with one hand bound up and with a bepowdered face,

Alex with two burned fingers and bones nearly all out of place;

Edgar with one leg broken and poor little Peter with two,

Thought that they'd had enough sorrow to last them a whole life through,

But Mother, who heard them crying, while soothing her darlings to sleep,

Was thankful that some of the pieces she yet was able to keep,

And sad for the weeping mother of poor naughty, unlucky Jim,

As the booming JULY CELEBRATION blew the whole head off of him.

TO MY VALENTINE

I love you now, and come what may,I'll always love you night and day.E'en should you grow both poor and oldAnd so unhappy that you'd scold;My love for you would ne'er grow cold,Because I truly love you.If evil spirits come your wayAnd tempt you from straight paths to stray,And every so-called loving friendNo helping hand to you would lend,To me, dear friend, for help then send,Because I truly love you.

I love you now, and come what may,

I'll always love you night and day.

E'en should you grow both poor and old

And so unhappy that you'd scold;

My love for you would ne'er grow cold,

Because I truly love you.

If evil spirits come your wayAnd tempt you from straight paths to stray,And every so-called loving friendNo helping hand to you would lend,To me, dear friend, for help then send,Because I truly love you.

If evil spirits come your way

And tempt you from straight paths to stray,

And every so-called loving friend

No helping hand to you would lend,

To me, dear friend, for help then send,

Because I truly love you.

THE WONDERLAND OF MATEMATIKO

[Written for my teacher, Professor A. R. Hornbrook, of the San Jose Normal School.]

In MATEMATIKO, the wonderful land,Ruled over by Giants, a most worthy band;Where all live together in kindness and peaceWhile helping Earth's mortals whose works never cease.And also I think that a strong helping handIs tendered Mars' children by this goodly band.But if from these GIANTS their help we would seekWe should be very patient and humble and meek,And go to their lands over roads smoothed in partBy labors of numerous foregoers' art.Then back to the Daily-Life-Store-House to stay,Bring all goodly treasures we found on our way.The first province reached when we go to this landIs ruled by ARITHMOS with firm kindly hand.His regions are traveled by all little onesWhen counting their candies or apples or buns;Or when Baby's mother cuts apples in twoAnd gives him "one-half" and one-half to Sue,His sister, who travels each day in the weekIn realms of ARITHMOS for knowledge to seek.The lands of ARITHMOS then being exploredAnd the wealth thereby gained being carefully stored,Wise travelers go on following many a bandOf Pilgrims for Knowledge now seeking the landWhere if they search earnestly surely they'll findTRUTHS known by QUEEN ALGEBRA, gracious and kind,Whose roads are far shorter than Arithmos King ownsAnd freer from troublesome MAD-HASTY-STONESThat fall from MT. ERROR right down on our pathAnd so often cause us to court DEMON WRATH.When first viewing GUIDE-BOOKS of ALGEBRA-LAND,New travelers fear that they can't understandThe queer little figures and x, y's and z'sMixed up with the numbers and a, b, c, d's.But after becoming acquainted with theseGood Algebra-Helpers who help and who please,All seekers for knowledge most gladly resolveTo use these assistants their problems to solve.Not far from Queen Algebra's realms may be foundKing GEOMETRÍO'S rich lands, which aboundWith REASON'S clear rivers that flow everywhere,While watering the EARTH and while cooling the air.There are many high mountains where travelers will fallWho heed not the warning that's given to allBy GEOMETRÍO, the giant benign,Who near to the rugged cliffs puts up this sign—"To all who are traveling—BEHOLD! now, TAKE HEED!If walking, go slowly, be fearful of speed.Be sure to inquire at my palace doorFor smooth winding pathways trod often before;But if you would ride in haste to the topThen take my good auto which never will stop.There's none like INTENSE CONCENTRATION, my carWhich carries you safely sans skidding or jar."To travelers obeying this Giant's advice,No "Haste-Wasting-Goblins" will ever enticeTo climb ERROR'S MOUNTAIN from which they may fallTo SLOUGH of DESPOND that is dreaded by all;Or maybe be led by VAIN CONFIDENCE ELVESThrough seeming short byways and flowery delvesTo dread DOUBTING CASTLE where cruellest of fatesThrough GIANT DESPAIR the traveler awaits.In GEOMETRÍO'S most wondrous GUIDE-BOOKSAt first one is puzzled if he only looksAt Guides of this Giant who many forms wear,Some angular figures and others quite square;Some round like a bullet or like cubes or cones,But each of these figures some great power owns.And Geometrío will tell all who askHow each may be used for a wonderful task—As making dress patterns for ladies so fair;Or likewise for ribbons to bind up their hair;We meet them each day in the rugs at our feet,And on the stone carvings we see in the street,Are subjects of GEOMETRÍO'S wise land,For their useful service we mortals demand.Near Geometrío's broad regions there liesThe spacious rich country of GOOD GIANT WISE,Broad-minded, and powerful builder and king,TRIGONOMETRIO'S loud praises we sing.From his brother "GEO" materials he takesFrom which with his help frail mortal man makesTall wonderful buildings which, reaching so high,We call them "sky-scrapers" as touching the sky.He also builds churches, cathedrals and schools,And beautiful mansions are formed by his rules,Through knowledge man found in this great Giant's homeHe has built wondrous spires and many a dome,And bridges o'er rivers, and tunnels through rocks,And e'en chained the waters with wonderful locks.And now with his help a marvelous featOf great engineering will soon be completeIn building at Panama as you all know,A wondrous canal by which we may goFrom Father Atlantic to Pacific's sandsWithout traveling over Mother Earth's lands.Near ALGEBRA-LAND a great GIANT livesAnd to earnest students much knowledge he gives,'Tis good KALKULUSO, abstruse thinking King,To him all astronomers loud praises sing,For only through his aid they go to the fountOf cause and effect that will teach them to countThe days that will pass before all men may seeA coming eclipse on the great STELLAR SEA,Or comets, or new stars, or maybe new worlds,To true knowledge seekers this Giant unfurlsWide forecasting standards as things are to beIn days yet to come upon both land and sea,And ever this Giant-Wise carries in handThe banner of TRUTH which he floats o'er his land.Now, some people say that the great GIANTS' landsIn MATEMATIKO are mere barren sandsWhere all travelers find it so hard to advance,But we who have had even this little glanceAt these wondrous regions described by the penOf "INSTRUISTINO"[A]will go there again.She gives us to guide us a good fairy's wandThrough MATEMATIKO to bright realms beyond.This wand helps us journey so that we may seeEach road and each crossing and always may beOn straightest of pathways, the PERFECT TRUTH'S WAY,From which glorious highway we never must stray,For TRUTH leads to GOD in His bright realms above,Surrounded by light of the INFINITE LOVE.[A]My teacher in mathematics, Mrs. A. R. Hornbrook.

In MATEMATIKO, the wonderful land,

Ruled over by Giants, a most worthy band;

Where all live together in kindness and peace

While helping Earth's mortals whose works never cease.

And also I think that a strong helping hand

Is tendered Mars' children by this goodly band.

But if from these GIANTS their help we would seekWe should be very patient and humble and meek,And go to their lands over roads smoothed in partBy labors of numerous foregoers' art.Then back to the Daily-Life-Store-House to stay,Bring all goodly treasures we found on our way.

But if from these GIANTS their help we would seek

We should be very patient and humble and meek,

And go to their lands over roads smoothed in part

By labors of numerous foregoers' art.

Then back to the Daily-Life-Store-House to stay,

Bring all goodly treasures we found on our way.

The first province reached when we go to this landIs ruled by ARITHMOS with firm kindly hand.His regions are traveled by all little onesWhen counting their candies or apples or buns;Or when Baby's mother cuts apples in twoAnd gives him "one-half" and one-half to Sue,His sister, who travels each day in the weekIn realms of ARITHMOS for knowledge to seek.

The first province reached when we go to this land

Is ruled by ARITHMOS with firm kindly hand.

His regions are traveled by all little ones

When counting their candies or apples or buns;

Or when Baby's mother cuts apples in two

And gives him "one-half" and one-half to Sue,

His sister, who travels each day in the week

In realms of ARITHMOS for knowledge to seek.

The lands of ARITHMOS then being exploredAnd the wealth thereby gained being carefully stored,Wise travelers go on following many a bandOf Pilgrims for Knowledge now seeking the landWhere if they search earnestly surely they'll findTRUTHS known by QUEEN ALGEBRA, gracious and kind,Whose roads are far shorter than Arithmos King ownsAnd freer from troublesome MAD-HASTY-STONESThat fall from MT. ERROR right down on our pathAnd so often cause us to court DEMON WRATH.

The lands of ARITHMOS then being explored

And the wealth thereby gained being carefully stored,

Wise travelers go on following many a band

Of Pilgrims for Knowledge now seeking the land

Where if they search earnestly surely they'll find

TRUTHS known by QUEEN ALGEBRA, gracious and kind,

Whose roads are far shorter than Arithmos King owns

And freer from troublesome MAD-HASTY-STONES

That fall from MT. ERROR right down on our path

And so often cause us to court DEMON WRATH.

When first viewing GUIDE-BOOKS of ALGEBRA-LAND,New travelers fear that they can't understandThe queer little figures and x, y's and z'sMixed up with the numbers and a, b, c, d's.But after becoming acquainted with theseGood Algebra-Helpers who help and who please,All seekers for knowledge most gladly resolveTo use these assistants their problems to solve.

When first viewing GUIDE-BOOKS of ALGEBRA-LAND,

New travelers fear that they can't understand

The queer little figures and x, y's and z's

Mixed up with the numbers and a, b, c, d's.

But after becoming acquainted with these

Good Algebra-Helpers who help and who please,

All seekers for knowledge most gladly resolve

To use these assistants their problems to solve.

Not far from Queen Algebra's realms may be foundKing GEOMETRÍO'S rich lands, which aboundWith REASON'S clear rivers that flow everywhere,While watering the EARTH and while cooling the air.There are many high mountains where travelers will fallWho heed not the warning that's given to allBy GEOMETRÍO, the giant benign,Who near to the rugged cliffs puts up this sign—"To all who are traveling—BEHOLD! now, TAKE HEED!If walking, go slowly, be fearful of speed.Be sure to inquire at my palace doorFor smooth winding pathways trod often before;But if you would ride in haste to the topThen take my good auto which never will stop.There's none like INTENSE CONCENTRATION, my carWhich carries you safely sans skidding or jar."To travelers obeying this Giant's advice,No "Haste-Wasting-Goblins" will ever enticeTo climb ERROR'S MOUNTAIN from which they may fallTo SLOUGH of DESPOND that is dreaded by all;Or maybe be led by VAIN CONFIDENCE ELVESThrough seeming short byways and flowery delvesTo dread DOUBTING CASTLE where cruellest of fatesThrough GIANT DESPAIR the traveler awaits.

Not far from Queen Algebra's realms may be found

King GEOMETRÍO'S rich lands, which abound

With REASON'S clear rivers that flow everywhere,

While watering the EARTH and while cooling the air.

There are many high mountains where travelers will fall

Who heed not the warning that's given to all

By GEOMETRÍO, the giant benign,

Who near to the rugged cliffs puts up this sign—

"To all who are traveling—BEHOLD! now, TAKE HEED!

If walking, go slowly, be fearful of speed.

Be sure to inquire at my palace door

For smooth winding pathways trod often before;

But if you would ride in haste to the top

Then take my good auto which never will stop.

There's none like INTENSE CONCENTRATION, my car

Which carries you safely sans skidding or jar."

To travelers obeying this Giant's advice,

No "Haste-Wasting-Goblins" will ever entice

To climb ERROR'S MOUNTAIN from which they may fall

To SLOUGH of DESPOND that is dreaded by all;

Or maybe be led by VAIN CONFIDENCE ELVES

Through seeming short byways and flowery delves

To dread DOUBTING CASTLE where cruellest of fates

Through GIANT DESPAIR the traveler awaits.

In GEOMETRÍO'S most wondrous GUIDE-BOOKSAt first one is puzzled if he only looksAt Guides of this Giant who many forms wear,Some angular figures and others quite square;Some round like a bullet or like cubes or cones,But each of these figures some great power owns.And Geometrío will tell all who askHow each may be used for a wonderful task—As making dress patterns for ladies so fair;Or likewise for ribbons to bind up their hair;We meet them each day in the rugs at our feet,And on the stone carvings we see in the street,Are subjects of GEOMETRÍO'S wise land,For their useful service we mortals demand.

In GEOMETRÍO'S most wondrous GUIDE-BOOKS

At first one is puzzled if he only looks

At Guides of this Giant who many forms wear,

Some angular figures and others quite square;

Some round like a bullet or like cubes or cones,

But each of these figures some great power owns.

And Geometrío will tell all who ask

How each may be used for a wonderful task—

As making dress patterns for ladies so fair;

Or likewise for ribbons to bind up their hair;

We meet them each day in the rugs at our feet,

And on the stone carvings we see in the street,

Are subjects of GEOMETRÍO'S wise land,

For their useful service we mortals demand.

Near Geometrío's broad regions there liesThe spacious rich country of GOOD GIANT WISE,Broad-minded, and powerful builder and king,TRIGONOMETRIO'S loud praises we sing.From his brother "GEO" materials he takesFrom which with his help frail mortal man makesTall wonderful buildings which, reaching so high,We call them "sky-scrapers" as touching the sky.He also builds churches, cathedrals and schools,And beautiful mansions are formed by his rules,Through knowledge man found in this great Giant's homeHe has built wondrous spires and many a dome,And bridges o'er rivers, and tunnels through rocks,And e'en chained the waters with wonderful locks.

Near Geometrío's broad regions there lies

The spacious rich country of GOOD GIANT WISE,

Broad-minded, and powerful builder and king,

TRIGONOMETRIO'S loud praises we sing.

From his brother "GEO" materials he takes

From which with his help frail mortal man makes

Tall wonderful buildings which, reaching so high,

We call them "sky-scrapers" as touching the sky.

He also builds churches, cathedrals and schools,

And beautiful mansions are formed by his rules,

Through knowledge man found in this great Giant's home

He has built wondrous spires and many a dome,

And bridges o'er rivers, and tunnels through rocks,

And e'en chained the waters with wonderful locks.

And now with his help a marvelous featOf great engineering will soon be completeIn building at Panama as you all know,A wondrous canal by which we may goFrom Father Atlantic to Pacific's sandsWithout traveling over Mother Earth's lands.Near ALGEBRA-LAND a great GIANT livesAnd to earnest students much knowledge he gives,'Tis good KALKULUSO, abstruse thinking King,To him all astronomers loud praises sing,For only through his aid they go to the fountOf cause and effect that will teach them to countThe days that will pass before all men may seeA coming eclipse on the great STELLAR SEA,Or comets, or new stars, or maybe new worlds,To true knowledge seekers this Giant unfurlsWide forecasting standards as things are to beIn days yet to come upon both land and sea,And ever this Giant-Wise carries in handThe banner of TRUTH which he floats o'er his land.

And now with his help a marvelous feat

Of great engineering will soon be complete

In building at Panama as you all know,

A wondrous canal by which we may go

From Father Atlantic to Pacific's sands

Without traveling over Mother Earth's lands.

Near ALGEBRA-LAND a great GIANT lives

And to earnest students much knowledge he gives,

'Tis good KALKULUSO, abstruse thinking King,

To him all astronomers loud praises sing,

For only through his aid they go to the fount

Of cause and effect that will teach them to count

The days that will pass before all men may see

A coming eclipse on the great STELLAR SEA,

Or comets, or new stars, or maybe new worlds,

To true knowledge seekers this Giant unfurls

Wide forecasting standards as things are to be

In days yet to come upon both land and sea,

And ever this Giant-Wise carries in hand

The banner of TRUTH which he floats o'er his land.

Now, some people say that the great GIANTS' landsIn MATEMATIKO are mere barren sandsWhere all travelers find it so hard to advance,But we who have had even this little glanceAt these wondrous regions described by the penOf "INSTRUISTINO"[A]will go there again.She gives us to guide us a good fairy's wandThrough MATEMATIKO to bright realms beyond.This wand helps us journey so that we may seeEach road and each crossing and always may beOn straightest of pathways, the PERFECT TRUTH'S WAY,From which glorious highway we never must stray,For TRUTH leads to GOD in His bright realms above,Surrounded by light of the INFINITE LOVE.

Now, some people say that the great GIANTS' lands

In MATEMATIKO are mere barren sands

Where all travelers find it so hard to advance,

But we who have had even this little glance

At these wondrous regions described by the pen

Of "INSTRUISTINO"[A]will go there again.

She gives us to guide us a good fairy's wand

Through MATEMATIKO to bright realms beyond.

This wand helps us journey so that we may see

Each road and each crossing and always may be

On straightest of pathways, the PERFECT TRUTH'S WAY,

From which glorious highway we never must stray,

For TRUTH leads to GOD in His bright realms above,

Surrounded by light of the INFINITE LOVE.

[A]My teacher in mathematics, Mrs. A. R. Hornbrook.

EASTER GREETING

May EASTER RABBIT in your heart's nestLay the golden egg upon whose questAll knights and ladies plain and fair,Are seeking, seeking everywhere.The longed-for GOLDEN EGG of PEACE,Which makes all earthly woes to ceaseBy filling hearts with LOVE FOR OTHERS,So self's forgot as we help our brothers.

May EASTER RABBIT in your heart's nestLay the golden egg upon whose questAll knights and ladies plain and fair,Are seeking, seeking everywhere.

May EASTER RABBIT in your heart's nest

Lay the golden egg upon whose quest

All knights and ladies plain and fair,

Are seeking, seeking everywhere.

The longed-for GOLDEN EGG of PEACE,Which makes all earthly woes to ceaseBy filling hearts with LOVE FOR OTHERS,So self's forgot as we help our brothers.

The longed-for GOLDEN EGG of PEACE,

Which makes all earthly woes to cease

By filling hearts with LOVE FOR OTHERS,

So self's forgot as we help our brothers.

I heard my mother, just to-day, asking dear old dadTo buy her a nice chafing dish, and make her very glad;Though he declared its cooking was a waste of alcohol.Causing indigestion and perhaps a doctor's call.I never saw a chafing dish and so I longed to knowHow it looked and what 'twas for, and so and so and so;But Mother would not answer and Daddy went away.So I sought the kitchen, where Bridget holds her sway,And asked her if she ever saw, since she began to cook,A chafing dish on pantry shelf or pictured in a book?Then Bridget turned her pug nose up with a "contemshus" air,And gave a twist to her small knot of brick-dust colored hair,And said, "A chafing dish, my dear, so says Miss B. Moriety,Is but a common skillet pan that's got in High Society."

I heard my mother, just to-day, asking dear old dad

To buy her a nice chafing dish, and make her very glad;

Though he declared its cooking was a waste of alcohol.

Causing indigestion and perhaps a doctor's call.

I never saw a chafing dish and so I longed to know

How it looked and what 'twas for, and so and so and so;

But Mother would not answer and Daddy went away.

So I sought the kitchen, where Bridget holds her sway,

And asked her if she ever saw, since she began to cook,

A chafing dish on pantry shelf or pictured in a book?

Then Bridget turned her pug nose up with a "contemshus" air,

And gave a twist to her small knot of brick-dust colored hair,

And said, "A chafing dish, my dear, so says Miss B. Moriety,

Is but a common skillet pan that's got in High Society."

THE GIANT ARITHMOS

Great Jack the Giant Killer brave, he killed all giants bad,But one good giant's life was saved by this bold warrior lad.ARITHMOS was this giant great and all bright girls and boysShould love the famous Giant-King far more than all their toys.He's very old, and very great and also wondrous wise,For he can count all things on earth and even tell their size.He knows how many birds there are; how high each bird can fly,But never does he boast or brag or stoop to tell a lie.He is so tall that he can reach up to the starry skyAnd count the stars and meteors bright as swiftly they go by.'Tis he alone can tell you when a great eclipse will comeAnd darken the moon's lady or the old man in the sun.He's always so good-natured and obliging to us allAnd makes our number work mere play when for his aid we call.He tells us just the number of ripe apples on a plate,How far away Chicago is, and if the train be late.In fact, he always answers us whene'er we ask "How many?"And for his work and trouble never thinks to ask a penny.All teachers and professors couldn't teach without his aid,And men in every business know through him they will be paid.We cannot sing in perfect tune, nor even play a drum,Divide an apple, buy a doll, nor do the smallest sum;And even BRIDGE by ladies fair cannot at all be playedUnless this mighty Giant-King will kindly lend his aid.So, as we cannot get along without ARITHMOS-LORE,We all should learn his wondrous truths and love him more and more.

Great Jack the Giant Killer brave, he killed all giants bad,

But one good giant's life was saved by this bold warrior lad.

ARITHMOS was this giant great and all bright girls and boys

Should love the famous Giant-King far more than all their toys.

He's very old, and very great and also wondrous wise,

For he can count all things on earth and even tell their size.

He knows how many birds there are; how high each bird can fly,

But never does he boast or brag or stoop to tell a lie.

He is so tall that he can reach up to the starry sky

And count the stars and meteors bright as swiftly they go by.

'Tis he alone can tell you when a great eclipse will come

And darken the moon's lady or the old man in the sun.

He's always so good-natured and obliging to us all

And makes our number work mere play when for his aid we call.

He tells us just the number of ripe apples on a plate,

How far away Chicago is, and if the train be late.

In fact, he always answers us whene'er we ask "How many?"

And for his work and trouble never thinks to ask a penny.

All teachers and professors couldn't teach without his aid,

And men in every business know through him they will be paid.

We cannot sing in perfect tune, nor even play a drum,

Divide an apple, buy a doll, nor do the smallest sum;

And even BRIDGE by ladies fair cannot at all be played

Unless this mighty Giant-King will kindly lend his aid.

So, as we cannot get along without ARITHMOS-LORE,

We all should learn his wondrous truths and love him more and more.

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