LET MA VOTE

(Spoken at U. S. Arsenal Park on July the Fourth, 1912.)

Ma can sew and Ma can bake—Every sort of thing can makeOut of thread and wool and yarns,And, besides, 'tis she who darnsAll the rents in all our clothes,And the holes made by our toes—But our Ma she cannot voteAny more than Bill, our goat.Ma it is who keeps us neatFrom our head down to our feet;Watches o'er us night and dayWhen we work or when we play;Nurses us when we are ill,Saving Pa a doctor's bill—But our Ma has naught to sayWho will rule this U. S. A.Ma helps Pa, too, with his work.For the good soul ne'er will shirkFrom whatever's to be done—Our brave Ma will never run.But will always do her best,And she rarely takes a rest,Like our Pa, with pipe alight,When he comes from work at night.Ma has taught us kids to read—In all things our Ma we need.The good "Queen of Home" is Ma,Though U. S. thinks more of Pa,Since he gives him power to ruleO'er affairs of state and school;While concerning laws Ma mayNe'er a word have right to say.All you boys must truly loveYour good mother far aboveAnyone upon this earth,For 'twas she who gave you birth;And you noble, youthful knights,Should not wish for any rightsThat your mother does not share—Which is only right and fair.Won't you work for more just laws,With an equal franchise clause,So ere one more Fourth has passedMa will win her rights at last,And may help to rule this land,Which for equal rights will stand?Rah! Rah! Rah! Three cheers for MaWhen she'll vote next year with Pa!

Ma can sew and Ma can bake—

Every sort of thing can make

Out of thread and wool and yarns,

And, besides, 'tis she who darns

All the rents in all our clothes,

And the holes made by our toes—

But our Ma she cannot vote

Any more than Bill, our goat.

Ma it is who keeps us neatFrom our head down to our feet;Watches o'er us night and dayWhen we work or when we play;Nurses us when we are ill,Saving Pa a doctor's bill—But our Ma has naught to sayWho will rule this U. S. A.

Ma it is who keeps us neat

From our head down to our feet;

Watches o'er us night and day

When we work or when we play;

Nurses us when we are ill,

Saving Pa a doctor's bill—

But our Ma has naught to say

Who will rule this U. S. A.

Ma helps Pa, too, with his work.For the good soul ne'er will shirkFrom whatever's to be done—Our brave Ma will never run.But will always do her best,And she rarely takes a rest,Like our Pa, with pipe alight,When he comes from work at night.

Ma helps Pa, too, with his work.

For the good soul ne'er will shirk

From whatever's to be done—

Our brave Ma will never run.

But will always do her best,

And she rarely takes a rest,

Like our Pa, with pipe alight,

When he comes from work at night.

Ma has taught us kids to read—In all things our Ma we need.The good "Queen of Home" is Ma,Though U. S. thinks more of Pa,Since he gives him power to ruleO'er affairs of state and school;While concerning laws Ma mayNe'er a word have right to say.

Ma has taught us kids to read—

In all things our Ma we need.

The good "Queen of Home" is Ma,

Though U. S. thinks more of Pa,

Since he gives him power to rule

O'er affairs of state and school;

While concerning laws Ma may

Ne'er a word have right to say.

All you boys must truly loveYour good mother far aboveAnyone upon this earth,For 'twas she who gave you birth;And you noble, youthful knights,Should not wish for any rightsThat your mother does not share—Which is only right and fair.

All you boys must truly love

Your good mother far above

Anyone upon this earth,

For 'twas she who gave you birth;

And you noble, youthful knights,

Should not wish for any rights

That your mother does not share—

Which is only right and fair.

Won't you work for more just laws,With an equal franchise clause,So ere one more Fourth has passedMa will win her rights at last,And may help to rule this land,Which for equal rights will stand?Rah! Rah! Rah! Three cheers for MaWhen she'll vote next year with Pa!

Won't you work for more just laws,

With an equal franchise clause,

So ere one more Fourth has passed

Ma will win her rights at last,

And may help to rule this land,

Which for equal rights will stand?

Rah! Rah! Rah! Three cheers for Ma

When she'll vote next year with Pa!

A SONG OF HOME

There's but one place on this great earthWhere I can happy be,And that is in my own dear homePerched on my mother's knee,For there I find all that I seekOf comfort, love and joy,May no dread sorrow come to meAnd my dear home destroy!

There's but one place on this great earth

Where I can happy be,

And that is in my own dear home

Perched on my mother's knee,

For there I find all that I seek

Of comfort, love and joy,

May no dread sorrow come to me

And my dear home destroy!

THEN AND NOW

[Published in a suffrage booklet, "A Plea to Gallant Knights."]

THEN—In ancient days, so I've been told,Knights were gallant, kind and bold,But ladies e'en though fair and sweet,Made the knights kneel at their feet.NOW—The modern ladies quite compareIn beauty with these dames so fair,But they no longer wish to seeBold knights so humbly bending knee,They ask only to keep besideThe modern knight in his bold stride.

THEN—

In ancient days, so I've been told,Knights were gallant, kind and bold,But ladies e'en though fair and sweet,Made the knights kneel at their feet.

In ancient days, so I've been told,

Knights were gallant, kind and bold,

But ladies e'en though fair and sweet,

Made the knights kneel at their feet.

NOW—

The modern ladies quite compareIn beauty with these dames so fair,But they no longer wish to seeBold knights so humbly bending knee,They ask only to keep besideThe modern knight in his bold stride.

The modern ladies quite compare

In beauty with these dames so fair,

But they no longer wish to see

Bold knights so humbly bending knee,

They ask only to keep beside

The modern knight in his bold stride.

THE FIVE BEST FAIRIES

The joyous CHRISTMAS SPIRITIs flying through the air,He's in our homes and in our hearts,About us everywhere.We see him in the night timeWhen we have gone to bed,Sitting on our pillow,Or floating round our head.We hear him in the morningAs soon as we arise,"Don't forget the agedAnd little ones," he cries."If you are well and happyStill happier you'll be,If you will open wide your heartAnd say 'COME IN' to me.I'll tell you of your neighborsWho are both ill and sad,But who by deeds of kindnessYou may make very glad.And for your Christmas presentsOh, how I hope and prayThat Earth's five best good fairiesTo you will come and stay.""The first is GOOD HEALTH FAIRY,Whose aid all mortals seek,For he is life's elixirAnd gives strength to the weak.Without this gracious fairyNo one can ever knowA single hour of perfect peaceAway from GOBLIN WOE.So treasure this good fairyAnd keep him safe with you,For he will be a faithful friendAnd one that's ever true."I'll ask GOOD COMFORT FAIRYTo all your wants give heed,So you may never sufferFrom dreaded SPECTER NEED."A third most precious fairyI know will stay with youIf you have HEALTH to make you smileAnd MEANS so you may doThe little deeds of kindnessAnd little acts of loveWhich bring true gladness to this earthFrom radiant realms above."With health and comfort and true love,No fairies, it would seem,Would be quite necessaryTo make this life a dream,But as most every mortalHas hopes of great success,Reaching high for certain goalsToward which they go in quest.I pray SUCCESS, the fairy,Will help to win your partIn everything you undertake,In finance, science, art."Now, with good health and comfortAnd love and great success,There always travels side by sideTHE FAIRY HAPPINESS.Oh, may these five good fairiesForever dwell with thee,And then you'll be as happyAs any one can be."

The joyous CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

Is flying through the air,

He's in our homes and in our hearts,

About us everywhere.

We see him in the night time

When we have gone to bed,

Sitting on our pillow,

Or floating round our head.

We hear him in the morning

As soon as we arise,

"Don't forget the aged

And little ones," he cries.

"If you are well and happy

Still happier you'll be,

If you will open wide your heart

And say 'COME IN' to me.

I'll tell you of your neighbors

Who are both ill and sad,

But who by deeds of kindness

You may make very glad.

And for your Christmas presents

Oh, how I hope and pray

That Earth's five best good fairies

To you will come and stay."

"The first is GOOD HEALTH FAIRY,Whose aid all mortals seek,For he is life's elixirAnd gives strength to the weak.Without this gracious fairyNo one can ever knowA single hour of perfect peaceAway from GOBLIN WOE.So treasure this good fairyAnd keep him safe with you,For he will be a faithful friendAnd one that's ever true.

"The first is GOOD HEALTH FAIRY,

Whose aid all mortals seek,

For he is life's elixir

And gives strength to the weak.

Without this gracious fairy

No one can ever know

A single hour of perfect peace

Away from GOBLIN WOE.

So treasure this good fairy

And keep him safe with you,

For he will be a faithful friend

And one that's ever true.

"I'll ask GOOD COMFORT FAIRYTo all your wants give heed,So you may never sufferFrom dreaded SPECTER NEED.

"I'll ask GOOD COMFORT FAIRY

To all your wants give heed,

So you may never suffer

From dreaded SPECTER NEED.

"A third most precious fairyI know will stay with youIf you have HEALTH to make you smileAnd MEANS so you may doThe little deeds of kindnessAnd little acts of loveWhich bring true gladness to this earthFrom radiant realms above.

"A third most precious fairy

I know will stay with you

If you have HEALTH to make you smile

And MEANS so you may do

The little deeds of kindness

And little acts of love

Which bring true gladness to this earth

From radiant realms above.

"With health and comfort and true love,No fairies, it would seem,Would be quite necessaryTo make this life a dream,But as most every mortalHas hopes of great success,Reaching high for certain goalsToward which they go in quest.I pray SUCCESS, the fairy,Will help to win your partIn everything you undertake,In finance, science, art.

"With health and comfort and true love,

No fairies, it would seem,

Would be quite necessary

To make this life a dream,

But as most every mortal

Has hopes of great success,

Reaching high for certain goals

Toward which they go in quest.

I pray SUCCESS, the fairy,

Will help to win your part

In everything you undertake,

In finance, science, art.

"Now, with good health and comfortAnd love and great success,There always travels side by sideTHE FAIRY HAPPINESS.Oh, may these five good fairiesForever dwell with thee,And then you'll be as happyAs any one can be."

"Now, with good health and comfort

And love and great success,

There always travels side by side

THE FAIRY HAPPINESS.

Oh, may these five good fairies

Forever dwell with thee,

And then you'll be as happy

As any one can be."

AN EQUAL FRANCHISE VALENTINE

[Published on valentine cards by the Norfolk, Virginia, Equal Franchise Association.]

Oh, noble knight, you oft have saidThat when a maiden you would wed,In everything you both should shareAnd make a truly happy pair.Now, as you vow your love is mine.And that I am your Valentine,Oh, prove these loving words of thine,And make the right of franchise mine!

Oh, noble knight, you oft have saidThat when a maiden you would wed,In everything you both should shareAnd make a truly happy pair.

Oh, noble knight, you oft have said

That when a maiden you would wed,

In everything you both should share

And make a truly happy pair.

Now, as you vow your love is mine.And that I am your Valentine,Oh, prove these loving words of thine,And make the right of franchise mine!

Now, as you vow your love is mine.

And that I am your Valentine,

Oh, prove these loving words of thine,

And make the right of franchise mine!

BEWARE OF STINGS

Once I heard a Christian Science lady who was very wise,Say that love is all about us in all things of every size,And if we each day would utter "God is love" to everythingNot a thing on earth would hurt us with its claws, or horns, or sting.So believing what she told me, when a hornet I did meet,Graciously I smiled upon him and with words of love did greetThis most wicked of all insects who refused good friends to beBut rewarded my advances by most cruelly stinging me.So, my little friends, take warning and of love though you may singI am sure you'll never find it in an insect with a sting.

Once I heard a Christian Science lady who was very wise,

Say that love is all about us in all things of every size,

And if we each day would utter "God is love" to everything

Not a thing on earth would hurt us with its claws, or horns, or sting.

So believing what she told me, when a hornet I did meet,

Graciously I smiled upon him and with words of love did greet

This most wicked of all insects who refused good friends to be

But rewarded my advances by most cruelly stinging me.

So, my little friends, take warning and of love though you may singI am sure you'll never find it in an insect with a sting.

So, my little friends, take warning and of love though you may sing

I am sure you'll never find it in an insect with a sting.

'NEATH NIAGARA FALLS

[These lines came to me as I stood in the underground tunnel beneath the Horse Shoe Falls and watched the mighty volumes of water pouring down upon the rocks beneath.]

While standing 'neath Niagara FallsA voice to me from Heaven callsAnd asks me in deep, thundering tone,Mortal, can you stand alone?Do you believe there is no GodWho made these waters at His nod?Are works like these but tricks of earth?Did nature only give them birth?Or was there an immortal handBrought them to life by His command?The roaring waters seem to say—"To God, our Maker, homage pay."

While standing 'neath Niagara Falls

A voice to me from Heaven calls

And asks me in deep, thundering tone,

Mortal, can you stand alone?

Do you believe there is no God

Who made these waters at His nod?

Are works like these but tricks of earth?

Did nature only give them birth?

Or was there an immortal hand

Brought them to life by His command?

The roaring waters seem to say—"To God, our Maker, homage pay."

The roaring waters seem to say—

"To God, our Maker, homage pay."

GRAMMAR IN A NUTSHELL

The ARTICLES are, oh, so wee,These little words are A, AN, THE.The nouns are names of anythingAs BOOK or PLAYGROUND, BALL or RING.PRONOUNS are used for NOUNS instead—MY face, HER hand, YOUR feet, HIS head.All adjectives just tell the kindOf everything that we may find,As GOOD and BAD, and SOFT and SWEET,RUDE and NAUGHTY, WISE and NEAT.While of manner ADVERBS tellAs SWEETLY, NEATLY, ILL or WELL.The PREPOSITIONS help each dayIN our work and AT our play.When relationship is shownThey must do the work alone.Good CONJUNCTIONS join togetherMan AND woman; plume OR feather.INTERJECTIONS will exclaim—"OH, ALAS! AH, what a shame!"But we cannot get alongIn conversation or in songWithout the VERB, the subject's fate,Expressing action, being, state.

The ARTICLES are, oh, so wee,

These little words are A, AN, THE.

The nouns are names of anything

As BOOK or PLAYGROUND, BALL or RING.

PRONOUNS are used for NOUNS instead—

MY face, HER hand, YOUR feet, HIS head.

All adjectives just tell the kind

Of everything that we may find,

As GOOD and BAD, and SOFT and SWEET,

RUDE and NAUGHTY, WISE and NEAT.

While of manner ADVERBS tell

As SWEETLY, NEATLY, ILL or WELL.

The PREPOSITIONS help each day

IN our work and AT our play.

When relationship is shown

They must do the work alone.

Good CONJUNCTIONS join together

Man AND woman; plume OR feather.

INTERJECTIONS will exclaim—

"OH, ALAS! AH, what a shame!"

But we cannot get along

In conversation or in song

Without the VERB, the subject's fate,

Expressing action, being, state.

HOW SIMPLE SIMON BECAME WISE

Simple Simon met young Heiman reading from a book.Said Simple Simon to young Heiman, "Let me have a look?"Said young Heiman to Simple Simon, "I will not selfish be,My great delight, ST. NICHOLAS, I'll gladly let you see."Then Simple Simon and young Heiman spent an hour or twoReading from this wondrous book, so full of all that's true,And when they'd finished, Simon lad of Mother Goose's fame,By virtue of his knowledge great, WISE SIMON, he became.

Simple Simon met young Heiman reading from a book.

Said Simple Simon to young Heiman, "Let me have a look?"

Said young Heiman to Simple Simon, "I will not selfish be,

My great delight, ST. NICHOLAS, I'll gladly let you see."

Then Simple Simon and young Heiman spent an hour or twoReading from this wondrous book, so full of all that's true,And when they'd finished, Simon lad of Mother Goose's fame,By virtue of his knowledge great, WISE SIMON, he became.

Then Simple Simon and young Heiman spent an hour or two

Reading from this wondrous book, so full of all that's true,

And when they'd finished, Simon lad of Mother Goose's fame,

By virtue of his knowledge great, WISE SIMON, he became.

THE B. O. K. FAIRY

BRINGER OF JOY

In far away Persia of long, long agoLived GOOD FAIRY BOK, BAD TROUBLE'S great foe.Wherever he went there was sunshine and joyFor all of the grown-ups and each girl and boy.He knew that the secrets of happiness layIn knowing just how one should work and should play;And he taught big and little how they could well useTheir minds and their bodies with no time to lose.Then "TROUBLE" at last drove GOOD BOK from the earthBut wise men revived this great giver of mirthIn THE BOOK OF KNOWLEDGE which points out the wayTo lead useful lives and be happy all day,Since this wholesome fairy is the dreaded foeOf IDLENESS, first cause of all earthly woe;So one never finds a bad girl or boyIn homes where BOK FAIRY radiates joy.And in every home where BOK has a shelf[B]He brings as his helper N. E., goodly elf,[C]Who knows how to open all good parents' eyesAnd help them make kiddies glad, wealthy and wise.[B]The Book of Knowledge.[C]Natural Education.

In far away Persia of long, long agoLived GOOD FAIRY BOK, BAD TROUBLE'S great foe.Wherever he went there was sunshine and joyFor all of the grown-ups and each girl and boy.

In far away Persia of long, long ago

Lived GOOD FAIRY BOK, BAD TROUBLE'S great foe.

Wherever he went there was sunshine and joy

For all of the grown-ups and each girl and boy.

He knew that the secrets of happiness layIn knowing just how one should work and should play;And he taught big and little how they could well useTheir minds and their bodies with no time to lose.

He knew that the secrets of happiness lay

In knowing just how one should work and should play;

And he taught big and little how they could well use

Their minds and their bodies with no time to lose.

Then "TROUBLE" at last drove GOOD BOK from the earthBut wise men revived this great giver of mirthIn THE BOOK OF KNOWLEDGE which points out the wayTo lead useful lives and be happy all day,

Then "TROUBLE" at last drove GOOD BOK from the earth

But wise men revived this great giver of mirth

In THE BOOK OF KNOWLEDGE which points out the way

To lead useful lives and be happy all day,

Since this wholesome fairy is the dreaded foeOf IDLENESS, first cause of all earthly woe;So one never finds a bad girl or boyIn homes where BOK FAIRY radiates joy.

Since this wholesome fairy is the dreaded foe

Of IDLENESS, first cause of all earthly woe;

So one never finds a bad girl or boy

In homes where BOK FAIRY radiates joy.

And in every home where BOK has a shelf[B]He brings as his helper N. E., goodly elf,[C]Who knows how to open all good parents' eyesAnd help them make kiddies glad, wealthy and wise.

And in every home where BOK has a shelf[B]

He brings as his helper N. E., goodly elf,[C]

Who knows how to open all good parents' eyes

And help them make kiddies glad, wealthy and wise.

[B]The Book of Knowledge.

[C]Natural Education.

PAPA'S SAINTED LEG

"My papa has one wicked leg,Which troubles him with aches.He has also a second leg,He calls "a wooden fake,"And still another sainted legWhich he most gladly gaveWhen fighting in the cruel warHis country's flag to save.

"My papa has one wicked leg,

Which troubles him with aches.

He has also a second leg,

He calls "a wooden fake,"

And still another sainted leg

Which he most gladly gave

When fighting in the cruel war

His country's flag to save.

AN APPEAL TO THE FAIRIES

[This poem was written in the hope of saving a beautiful forest near my home in Evansville, Indiana.]

Good Fairies, save the lovely trees, which live on Coal Mine Hill!Their home has been your home so long, your hearts with grief would fillShould stout men armed with axes come and fell them to the earth,These monarchs of the forest, these jewels of great worth.The giant oaks and stately elms, the rulers of this woodHave watched the growth of Evansville and helped it as they could.They gave their shade and soft bright leaves to make a downy nestTo shelter the first baby boy that Evansville possessed.Before this city had a church in which both bad and goodCould ask forgiveness of the Lord, they worshipped in this wood;And those who love the beautiful and lovely scenes to seeThey climb upon this grassy hill and stand beneath some tree,While gazing far as eye can reach to fair Kentucky's lands,Or looking at the river shore on which our city stands.Above their heads the bright blue sky, green grass beneath their feet,And all around a lovely scene such as we seldom meet;Green pastures with cows grazing, broad river flowing by,And many tall church spires lifted toward the sky,No fitter place for children nor grown-up folks could beThan on this lovely Coal Mine Hill where NATURE we can see.'Tis here the little orphans and poor children all aroundFind the greatest pleasures which in this woods abound.So dearest, kindest FAIRIES, please rescue these grand trees,And save them for the children, we ask you on our knees.

Good Fairies, save the lovely trees, which live on Coal Mine Hill!

Their home has been your home so long, your hearts with grief would fill

Should stout men armed with axes come and fell them to the earth,

These monarchs of the forest, these jewels of great worth.

The giant oaks and stately elms, the rulers of this wood

Have watched the growth of Evansville and helped it as they could.

They gave their shade and soft bright leaves to make a downy nest

To shelter the first baby boy that Evansville possessed.

Before this city had a church in which both bad and good

Could ask forgiveness of the Lord, they worshipped in this wood;

And those who love the beautiful and lovely scenes to see

They climb upon this grassy hill and stand beneath some tree,

While gazing far as eye can reach to fair Kentucky's lands,

Or looking at the river shore on which our city stands.

Above their heads the bright blue sky, green grass beneath their feet,

And all around a lovely scene such as we seldom meet;

Green pastures with cows grazing, broad river flowing by,

And many tall church spires lifted toward the sky,

No fitter place for children nor grown-up folks could be

Than on this lovely Coal Mine Hill where NATURE we can see.

'Tis here the little orphans and poor children all around

Find the greatest pleasures which in this woods abound.

So dearest, kindest FAIRIES, please rescue these grand trees,

And save them for the children, we ask you on our knees.

IN INDIA

[To the air of "We Won't Go Home Till Morning."]

To India we now will goTo India we now will goTo India we now will goTo see a monkey show.To see a monkey show.To see a monkey show.We cannot travel there by rail,We cannot travel there by rail,We cannot travel there by rail.And so we'll have to sail.And there Mount Everest we'll seeAnd there Mount Everest we'll seeAnd there Mount Everest we'll seeAnd lowly bend the knee.In India the sun's so hotIn India the sun's so hotIn India the sun's so hotWe may melt on the spot.And when it rains great torrents fallAnd when it rains great torrents fallAnd when it rains great torrents fallTo soak the great and small.In India we'll have a frightIn India we'll have a frightIn India we'll have a frightIf cobras try to bite.Or maybe a cruel tiger beastOr maybe a cruel tiger beastOr maybe a cruel tiger beastUpon our bones will feast.Or even worse a crocodileOr even worse a crocodileOr even worse a crocodileMay come too close and smile.If we escape his awful jawsIf we escape his awful jawsIf we escape his awful jawsWe may feel the leopard's claws.But I am glad as I can beBut I am glad as I can beBut I am glad as I can beNo juggernaut we'll see.And no harm will come our wayAnd no harm will come our wayAnd no harm will come our wayIf fairies with us stay.Agra, Calcutta, old Delhi,Agra, Calcutta, old Delhi,Agra, Calcutta, old Delhi,And Bombay we will see.But I'm so sad we won't beholdBut I'm so sad we won't beholdBut I'm so sad we won't beholdThe peacock throne of gold.Still we may see the Taj MahalStill we may see the Taj MahalStill we may see the Taj MahalCalled beautiful by all.Indigo, cotton, tobacco and teaIndigo, cotton, tobacco and teaIndigo, cotton, tobacco and teaIn India we will see.Well find in Burma rubies redWell find in Burma rubies redWell find in Burma rubies redAnd copper, tin and lead.Mahogany and teakwood too,Mahogany and teakwood too,Mahogany and teakwood too,And plenty of bamboo,With ebony and sandalwoodWith ebony and sandalwoodWith ebony and sandalwoodAnd other trees as good.And here we find the humped zebuAnd here we find the humped zebuAnd here we find the humped zebuWhich makes a funny moo.And in this pearl of the far EastAnd in this pearl of the far EastAnd in this pearl of the far EastOn mangoes we will feast.And lots of sugar we will eat,And lots of sugar we will eat,And lots of sugar we will eat,Our rice we'll make so sweet.And lovely silken robes we'll wearAnd lovely silken robes we'll wearAnd lovely silken robes we'll wearWith turbans round our hair.But in the Ganges we'll not washBut in the Ganges we'll not washBut in the Ganges we'll not washFor that is silly bosh.Instead we'll take an elephant rideInstead we'll take an elephant rideInstead we'll take an elephant rideUpon his trunk astride.

To India we now will goTo India we now will goTo India we now will goTo see a monkey show.To see a monkey show.To see a monkey show.

To India we now will go

To see a monkey show.

We cannot travel there by rail,We cannot travel there by rail,We cannot travel there by rail.And so we'll have to sail.

We cannot travel there by rail,

We cannot travel there by rail.

And so we'll have to sail.

And there Mount Everest we'll seeAnd there Mount Everest we'll seeAnd there Mount Everest we'll seeAnd lowly bend the knee.

And there Mount Everest we'll see

And lowly bend the knee.

In India the sun's so hotIn India the sun's so hotIn India the sun's so hotWe may melt on the spot.

In India the sun's so hot

We may melt on the spot.

And when it rains great torrents fallAnd when it rains great torrents fallAnd when it rains great torrents fallTo soak the great and small.

And when it rains great torrents fall

To soak the great and small.

In India we'll have a frightIn India we'll have a frightIn India we'll have a frightIf cobras try to bite.

In India we'll have a fright

If cobras try to bite.

Or maybe a cruel tiger beastOr maybe a cruel tiger beastOr maybe a cruel tiger beastUpon our bones will feast.

Or maybe a cruel tiger beast

Upon our bones will feast.

Or even worse a crocodileOr even worse a crocodileOr even worse a crocodileMay come too close and smile.

Or even worse a crocodile

May come too close and smile.

If we escape his awful jawsIf we escape his awful jawsIf we escape his awful jawsWe may feel the leopard's claws.

If we escape his awful jaws

We may feel the leopard's claws.

But I am glad as I can beBut I am glad as I can beBut I am glad as I can beNo juggernaut we'll see.

But I am glad as I can be

No juggernaut we'll see.

And no harm will come our wayAnd no harm will come our wayAnd no harm will come our wayIf fairies with us stay.

And no harm will come our way

If fairies with us stay.

Agra, Calcutta, old Delhi,Agra, Calcutta, old Delhi,Agra, Calcutta, old Delhi,And Bombay we will see.

Agra, Calcutta, old Delhi,

And Bombay we will see.

But I'm so sad we won't beholdBut I'm so sad we won't beholdBut I'm so sad we won't beholdThe peacock throne of gold.

But I'm so sad we won't behold

The peacock throne of gold.

Still we may see the Taj MahalStill we may see the Taj MahalStill we may see the Taj MahalCalled beautiful by all.

Still we may see the Taj Mahal

Called beautiful by all.

Indigo, cotton, tobacco and teaIndigo, cotton, tobacco and teaIndigo, cotton, tobacco and teaIn India we will see.

Indigo, cotton, tobacco and tea

In India we will see.

Well find in Burma rubies redWell find in Burma rubies redWell find in Burma rubies redAnd copper, tin and lead.

Well find in Burma rubies red

And copper, tin and lead.

Mahogany and teakwood too,Mahogany and teakwood too,Mahogany and teakwood too,And plenty of bamboo,

Mahogany and teakwood too,

And plenty of bamboo,

With ebony and sandalwoodWith ebony and sandalwoodWith ebony and sandalwoodAnd other trees as good.

With ebony and sandalwood

And other trees as good.

And here we find the humped zebuAnd here we find the humped zebuAnd here we find the humped zebuWhich makes a funny moo.

And here we find the humped zebu

Which makes a funny moo.

And in this pearl of the far EastAnd in this pearl of the far EastAnd in this pearl of the far EastOn mangoes we will feast.

And in this pearl of the far East

On mangoes we will feast.

And lots of sugar we will eat,And lots of sugar we will eat,And lots of sugar we will eat,Our rice we'll make so sweet.

And lots of sugar we will eat,

Our rice we'll make so sweet.

And lovely silken robes we'll wearAnd lovely silken robes we'll wearAnd lovely silken robes we'll wearWith turbans round our hair.

And lovely silken robes we'll wear

With turbans round our hair.

But in the Ganges we'll not washBut in the Ganges we'll not washBut in the Ganges we'll not washFor that is silly bosh.

But in the Ganges we'll not wash

For that is silly bosh.

Instead we'll take an elephant rideInstead we'll take an elephant rideInstead we'll take an elephant rideUpon his trunk astride.

Instead we'll take an elephant ride

Upon his trunk astride.

THE BEST MONTH OF ALL

Of flowery springThe poets sing,Or else of bright September,But girls and boysWho love nice toysWill always praise December;For that's the timeIn every climeUs Santa doth remember.

Of flowery spring

The poets sing,

Or else of bright September,

But girls and boys

Who love nice toys

Will always praise December;

For that's the time

In every clime

Us Santa doth remember.

A PLEA TO KNIGHTS AND LADIES FAIR

TO LADIES FAIR:Would you be classed with lunatics,Or, even worse, with fierce convicts?Then work for equal franchise laws.TO GALLANT KNIGHTS:Do you wish rights, oh, my good brothers,Denied your sisters, wives and mothers?Then give them equal franchise laws.

TO LADIES FAIR:

Would you be classed with lunatics,Or, even worse, with fierce convicts?Then work for equal franchise laws.

Would you be classed with lunatics,

Or, even worse, with fierce convicts?

Then work for equal franchise laws.

TO GALLANT KNIGHTS:

Do you wish rights, oh, my good brothers,Denied your sisters, wives and mothers?Then give them equal franchise laws.

Do you wish rights, oh, my good brothers,

Denied your sisters, wives and mothers?

Then give them equal franchise laws.

SAYING HIS SPEECH

One day last week good Mrs. JonesSat making a new gownWhen home from school her young son cameAnd strode first up, then down.He waved his arms and muttered muchAnd frightened the pet catAnd every time he neared the fireRight into it he spat."Why, Jimmie," said his frightened ma,"Oh, what makes you act so?And if you do not soon behaveRight straight to bed you'll go!""Ah, mother," said the wise young lad,"I'm neither bad nor bold.I'm just rehearsing a short speechSo don't begin to scold.To-day at school the teacher gaveThese lines to every oneAnd bade us all learn them to-nightOr else the stick would come.""Well, Jimmie, dear," his mother said,Recite these lines to me.And why do you when by the fireSpit out so furiously?""The reason, Ma," said Jimmie Jones,"You very soon shall see.When I recite these lines to youYou'll know that act must be.'The embers glow, the fire burnsThe kid turns on the spit!'And now you see, my mother dear,That gesture well does fit."

One day last week good Mrs. Jones

Sat making a new gown

When home from school her young son came

And strode first up, then down.

He waved his arms and muttered much

And frightened the pet cat

And every time he neared the fire

Right into it he spat.

"Why, Jimmie," said his frightened ma,

"Oh, what makes you act so?

And if you do not soon behave

Right straight to bed you'll go!"

"Ah, mother," said the wise young lad,

"I'm neither bad nor bold.

I'm just rehearsing a short speech

So don't begin to scold.

To-day at school the teacher gave

These lines to every one

And bade us all learn them to-night

Or else the stick would come."

"Well, Jimmie, dear," his mother said,

Recite these lines to me.

And why do you when by the fire

Spit out so furiously?"

"The reason, Ma," said Jimmie Jones,

"You very soon shall see.

When I recite these lines to you

You'll know that act must be.

'The embers glow, the fire burns

The kid turns on the spit!'

And now you see, my mother dear,

That gesture well does fit."

A PLEA TO EDITORS

Mary Jane's so lachrymosyShe won't laugh and she won't singSince the cruel newspaper peopleWould not print her poem SPRING.Won't you be more tender-heartedTo the rhymesters who must sing,E'en though they fill your waste basketsFull of poems on sweet spring?

Mary Jane's so lachrymosyShe won't laugh and she won't singSince the cruel newspaper peopleWould not print her poem SPRING.

Mary Jane's so lachrymosy

She won't laugh and she won't sing

Since the cruel newspaper people

Would not print her poem SPRING.

Won't you be more tender-heartedTo the rhymesters who must sing,E'en though they fill your waste basketsFull of poems on sweet spring?

Won't you be more tender-hearted

To the rhymesters who must sing,

E'en though they fill your waste baskets

Full of poems on sweet spring?

TASMANIA

[To the air of "Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush."]

To Tasmania, we will go, we will go, we will go,And there we will not see much snow, see much snow, see much snow.To Tasmania we will sail, we will sail, we will sailAnd catch a kangaroo's big tail, his big tail, his big tail.To Tasmania we will fly, we will fly, we will flyAnd see the wheat which grows this high, grows this high, grows this high.In Tasmania we have heard, we have heard, we have heardLives the funny penguin bird, penguin bird, penguin bird.In Tasmania we will spy, we will spy, we will spyAn emu bird which cannot fly, cannot fly, cannot fly.In Tasmania we will see, we will see, we will seeMany a eucalyptus tree, 'lyptus tree, 'lyptus tree.In Tasmania we are told, we are told, we are toldThere are heaps and heaps of gold, heaps of gold, heaps of gold.In Tasmania we will keep, we will keep, we will keepA big flock of lovely sheep, lovely sheep, lovely sheep.

To Tasmania, we will go, we will go, we will go,And there we will not see much snow, see much snow, see much snow.

To Tasmania, we will go, we will go, we will go,

And there we will not see much snow, see much snow, see much snow.

To Tasmania we will sail, we will sail, we will sailAnd catch a kangaroo's big tail, his big tail, his big tail.

To Tasmania we will sail, we will sail, we will sail

And catch a kangaroo's big tail, his big tail, his big tail.

To Tasmania we will fly, we will fly, we will flyAnd see the wheat which grows this high, grows this high, grows this high.

To Tasmania we will fly, we will fly, we will fly

And see the wheat which grows this high, grows this high, grows this high.

In Tasmania we have heard, we have heard, we have heardLives the funny penguin bird, penguin bird, penguin bird.

In Tasmania we have heard, we have heard, we have heard

Lives the funny penguin bird, penguin bird, penguin bird.

In Tasmania we will spy, we will spy, we will spyAn emu bird which cannot fly, cannot fly, cannot fly.

In Tasmania we will spy, we will spy, we will spy

An emu bird which cannot fly, cannot fly, cannot fly.

In Tasmania we will see, we will see, we will seeMany a eucalyptus tree, 'lyptus tree, 'lyptus tree.

In Tasmania we will see, we will see, we will see

Many a eucalyptus tree, 'lyptus tree, 'lyptus tree.

In Tasmania we are told, we are told, we are toldThere are heaps and heaps of gold, heaps of gold, heaps of gold.

In Tasmania we are told, we are told, we are told

There are heaps and heaps of gold, heaps of gold, heaps of gold.

In Tasmania we will keep, we will keep, we will keepA big flock of lovely sheep, lovely sheep, lovely sheep.

In Tasmania we will keep, we will keep, we will keep

A big flock of lovely sheep, lovely sheep, lovely sheep.

ESPERANTO GRAMMAR

All the nouns must end in O,Akvo (water), Banto (bow),While adjectives all end in A,Bona patro (good papa),And adverbs end in letter E,Rapide in a rapid way.Soon I'll teach the vowels to you,Saying, "Pa, may we go too?"And the diphthongs au, aj, ojWe pronounce as "Thou, my boy."Best of all the charming verbs,They can never wreck our nervesWith exceptions cruel, unkind,For the same you'll always findBlessed AS, IS, OS, US, U,Endings that are ever true.

All the nouns must end in O,

Akvo (water), Banto (bow),

While adjectives all end in A,

Bona patro (good papa),

And adverbs end in letter E,

Rapide in a rapid way.

Soon I'll teach the vowels to you,

Saying, "Pa, may we go too?"

And the diphthongs au, aj, oj

We pronounce as "Thou, my boy."

Best of all the charming verbs,

They can never wreck our nerves

With exceptions cruel, unkind,

For the same you'll always find

Blessed AS, IS, OS, US, U,

Endings that are ever true.

THE ARMADILLO

If I would fight on land and sea,And all my armor take with me,An ARMADILLO I would be.Then I could wear as my best clothesTo cover me from tail to nose,Strong armor to ward off my foes.And dig, ah, my, but I could dig!Much swifter than a rooting pig,With my sharp claws so strong and big.And eat, ah, yes, but I would eatAll things bitter and all things sweet,For feasting would be my best feat!

If I would fight on land and sea,And all my armor take with me,An ARMADILLO I would be.

If I would fight on land and sea,

And all my armor take with me,

An ARMADILLO I would be.

Then I could wear as my best clothesTo cover me from tail to nose,Strong armor to ward off my foes.

Then I could wear as my best clothes

To cover me from tail to nose,

Strong armor to ward off my foes.

And dig, ah, my, but I could dig!Much swifter than a rooting pig,With my sharp claws so strong and big.

And dig, ah, my, but I could dig!

Much swifter than a rooting pig,

With my sharp claws so strong and big.

And eat, ah, yes, but I would eatAll things bitter and all things sweet,For feasting would be my best feat!

And eat, ah, yes, but I would eat

All things bitter and all things sweet,

For feasting would be my best feat!

FIVE GOOD GIANTS

ARITHMETIC GIANT, most wise, never slumbers;His is the science which teaches of numbers.His cousin GEOGRAPHY treats of Ma EarthAnd all of her children to whom she gave birth.His aunt PHYSIOLOGY brings to us wealth,Describing our bodies and how to have health.His grandma called GRAMMAR tells how to useGood language at all times in spreading the news.Great LITERATURE teaches of many a workWritten by authors who never would shirkFrom learning a little just day after dayBy listening to what the wise giants would sayWho led them to drink from the great Knowledge FountAnd thus to FAME'S LADDER helped them to mount.

ARITHMETIC GIANT, most wise, never slumbers;

His is the science which teaches of numbers.

His cousin GEOGRAPHY treats of Ma Earth

And all of her children to whom she gave birth.

His aunt PHYSIOLOGY brings to us wealth,

Describing our bodies and how to have health.

His grandma called GRAMMAR tells how to use

Good language at all times in spreading the news.

Great LITERATURE teaches of many a work

Written by authors who never would shirk

From learning a little just day after day

By listening to what the wise giants would say

Who led them to drink from the great Knowledge Fount

And thus to FAME'S LADDER helped them to mount.

A BOOK MARK

So very happy I shall be,If you'll permit poor humble meTo keep your place by my poor artWithin your bookfriend's gracious heart.

So very happy I shall be,

If you'll permit poor humble me

To keep your place by my poor art

Within your bookfriend's gracious heart.

UNCLE SAM'S PITTSBURGH ARSENAL

[Spoken at the Centenary Celebration, April 17th.]

These hoary walls if they could speakWhat wondrous tales they'd tell!Of many strange encountersThat long ago befellGood Pittsburgh folks who laid these stonesOne hundred years agoWhen Uncle Sam looked at John BullAs his most hated foe.The builders in those good old days,Who fashioned this old wallKnew naught of graft or cheap cement:They built things not to fall.And so we see the magazinesAnd walls are just as goodAs when in days of LafayetteThese sturdy bulwarks stoodAnd frowned on him as he passed byAs if they wished to say,"Your day will pass but we will standTill centuries roll away."They heard the dread explosionThat shook their very groundBut firm they stood as bulwarksWhen stones fell all around.Again when dreadful RIOTBrought bloodshed in its pathThese walls though dyed with crimsonLooked coldly on man's wrath.Not even blood of soldiersCould make them shed a tearAnd that is why these sturdy wallsHave reached their hundredth year.The moral of this little taleIs that we should not weep and wailBut ever put away all fearsSo we may live a hundred years.

These hoary walls if they could speak

What wondrous tales they'd tell!

Of many strange encounters

That long ago befell

Good Pittsburgh folks who laid these stones

One hundred years ago

When Uncle Sam looked at John Bull

As his most hated foe.

The builders in those good old days,

Who fashioned this old wall

Knew naught of graft or cheap cement:

They built things not to fall.

And so we see the magazines

And walls are just as good

As when in days of Lafayette

These sturdy bulwarks stood

And frowned on him as he passed by

As if they wished to say,

"Your day will pass but we will stand

Till centuries roll away."

They heard the dread explosion

That shook their very ground

But firm they stood as bulwarks

When stones fell all around.

Again when dreadful RIOT

Brought bloodshed in its path

These walls though dyed with crimson

Looked coldly on man's wrath.

Not even blood of soldiers

Could make them shed a tear

And that is why these sturdy walls

Have reached their hundredth year.

The moral of this little taleIs that we should not weep and wailBut ever put away all fearsSo we may live a hundred years.

The moral of this little tale

Is that we should not weep and wail

But ever put away all fears

So we may live a hundred years.

DUX FEMINA VIA

My wise Professor KurnikerHas not quite wisely saidThat masculines in GermanWill ever rank ahead.But how about good Mother Earth,The sun, air and the sea,Without which not a single soulCould in existence be?Depending on the masculinesWe could not even speakFor we would have no lips, lung, tongueOr voices strong or weak.What sights we'd be without our skinAnd none of us could writeSans pen and hand and without fistsWe could not even fight.What freaks we'd be without our cheeks,Our shoulders, chest and noseAnd how could we walk all aboutUnless we had our toes?We'd have no milk to keep us well,No butter for our bread.On most of the delicious fruitsWe could not then be fed.But few sweet flowers we would haveTo cheer the sick and sad;No lovely pearls of greatest priceTo make the ladies glad.We would not have a church or bankPost-office or good school;No linen, silk or wool to wearWhen Jack Frost makes us cool.We could not patriotic beWith no flag for our ownAnd without a good naval fleetWe could not stand alone.Without a purse or library,Without a cup for tea,Sans the ETERNAL FEMININEWhat would this poor world be?Without the seasons and the week,Without the night and stars,We'd better leave this mundane sphereAnd fly right up to Mars.

My wise Professor KurnikerHas not quite wisely saidThat masculines in GermanWill ever rank ahead.

My wise Professor Kurniker

Has not quite wisely said

That masculines in German

Will ever rank ahead.

But how about good Mother Earth,The sun, air and the sea,Without which not a single soulCould in existence be?

But how about good Mother Earth,

The sun, air and the sea,

Without which not a single soul

Could in existence be?

Depending on the masculinesWe could not even speakFor we would have no lips, lung, tongueOr voices strong or weak.

Depending on the masculines

We could not even speak

For we would have no lips, lung, tongue

Or voices strong or weak.

What sights we'd be without our skinAnd none of us could writeSans pen and hand and without fistsWe could not even fight.

What sights we'd be without our skin

And none of us could write

Sans pen and hand and without fists

We could not even fight.

What freaks we'd be without our cheeks,Our shoulders, chest and noseAnd how could we walk all aboutUnless we had our toes?

What freaks we'd be without our cheeks,

Our shoulders, chest and nose

And how could we walk all about

Unless we had our toes?

We'd have no milk to keep us well,No butter for our bread.On most of the delicious fruitsWe could not then be fed.

We'd have no milk to keep us well,

No butter for our bread.

On most of the delicious fruits

We could not then be fed.

But few sweet flowers we would haveTo cheer the sick and sad;No lovely pearls of greatest priceTo make the ladies glad.

But few sweet flowers we would have

To cheer the sick and sad;

No lovely pearls of greatest price

To make the ladies glad.

We would not have a church or bankPost-office or good school;No linen, silk or wool to wearWhen Jack Frost makes us cool.

We would not have a church or bank

Post-office or good school;

No linen, silk or wool to wear

When Jack Frost makes us cool.

We could not patriotic beWith no flag for our ownAnd without a good naval fleetWe could not stand alone.

We could not patriotic be

With no flag for our own

And without a good naval fleet

We could not stand alone.

Without a purse or library,Without a cup for tea,Sans the ETERNAL FEMININEWhat would this poor world be?

Without a purse or library,

Without a cup for tea,

Sans the ETERNAL FEMININE

What would this poor world be?

Without the seasons and the week,Without the night and stars,We'd better leave this mundane sphereAnd fly right up to Mars.

Without the seasons and the week,

Without the night and stars,

We'd better leave this mundane sphere

And fly right up to Mars.

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