the aLITTLE·ARTICLE
the aLITTLE·ARTICLE
WHEN Judge Grammar next took his seat in court, a number of papers covered with words were handed up to him by Serjeant Parsing.
“They are the lists of names, my lord,” he said, “which you asked the people of Schoolroom-shire to write for you.”
“Very good,” said the Judge. “I will read some of the words aloud, and if any one thinks that they are notnouns, let him come forward and say so. And he began to read:the garden,the house,the sky,a book,a bird,a fly,”when suddenly he was interrupted by a sound of bitter sobbing and crying.
“What is the matter?” he asked. “Who dares to interrupt the court?”
“It is this tiresome little Article, your lordship,” said Serjeant Parsing, pushing forward a ragged little fellow, who was rubbing both fists into his eyes and crying bitterly. “He says he is being cheated, my lord; that he has only two words of his own in all Grammar-land, and that they are being used on these lists as if they belonged to Mr. Noun.”
“Bring him up before me,” said the Judge. “What is your name, sir?”
“My name is Article, or Little-joint,” replied the little fellow. “I have only two words in all Grammar-land,aandthe. I lend them to Mr. Noun whenever he asks for them fairly; but, your lordship, it is very hard,” and here he began to cry again, “that they should be read as your lordship was reading them just now, as if they belonged to Mr. Noun, when he is so rich, and I am so very, very poor.”
“Is it true, Brother Parsing,” asked the Judge, “that little Article is always ready to wait upon Mr. Noun?”
“Quite true, my lord,” answered Serjeant Parsing.“Indeed, I have often been able to discover Mr. Noun by catching sight of little Article running before him, for whenever you see anaor athe, you may be sure that Mr. Noun will have a word of his own in somewhere near. The chief use of little Article is to point out that a noun is coming, for you may be sure that if you can put anaor athebefore a word, that word is a noun, asa bird,the sky.”
“And do you use him as much before your pet proper nouns, sir?” asked Judge Grammar of Mr. Noun.
“No, your lordship,” replied Mr. Noun, “that I do not. Indeed,Icannot see that little Article is of much use to me at any time; but he has an old habit of coming with me wherever I go, and when I have no one else I do not mind having him.”
“Well,” said Judge Grammar, “if you do have him, take care that you use him well; and pray, Brother Parsing, tell the Schoolroom-shire children to give him a separate mark for himself, and not to put his words with Mr. Noun’s.”
“Certainly, my lord,” said Serjeant Parsing, “but I have one question to ask first. This little Article said that he had only two words in all Grammar-land,aandthe. I wish to ask him what he says toan, as you sayanegg,anapple? Surelyanbelongs to him also.”
Article was just beginning to answer when he suddenly stopped, turned pale, trembled, and looked as if he wouldhave tumbled to pieces in terror, for he saw Dr. Syntax rise.
Dr. Syntax stood upright, looking very tall and thin and black: he spoke in very stern voice, but all he said was, “Anis only used before a vowel or anhmute.” Then he sat down again.
“Ah!” said Serjeant Parsing, drawing a long breath, “thank you. Now, little Article, say what you have to say.”
“I have only to say,” remarked Article, recovering his courage, “thataandanare really one and the same word;ais onlyanwith his coat off. I like to use it best asawithout its coat, but before a vowel or anhmute I am obliged,” and here Article gave a frightened look at Dr. Syntax, “I am obliged to keep its coat on and call itan.”
“And do you know what you mean by a vowel or anhmute?” asked Judge Grammar.
“O yes, my lord: there are five vowels,a,e,i,o,u,” answered Article.
“And what is anhmute?” asked the Judge.
“Anhthat is not sounded, as inan hour,an honour,” answered Article, rather impatiently, for he was getting very tired of being questioned.
“And you are to useanbefore any word that begins with a vowel,a,e,i,o, oru, or anhmute, are you?” asked the Judge.
“Yes, my lord,” said Article, “I told you so before.”
“Give us some examples of words beginning with each of these,” said the Judge, “and show us how you useanbefore them.”
Article held up one hand, with the thumb and four fingers stretched out, and pointing to each one in turn, beginning with the thumb, he answered: “Anapple,aneagle,anidol,anox, andanugly, uncomfortable, unkind old Judge, to keep me here so long answering questions.” Saying which, little ragged Article turned and scampered off as fast as his legs could carry him.
Serjeant Parsing then said that as Article had behaved so badly, he hoped the Judge would give him a severe punishment, by allowing the children of Schoolroom-shire to use his words as often as they liked in their new lists.
“Certainly,” said Judge Grammar. “I request that each of you will write six new nouns, and will use an article before every one of them.”
The court then rose, after Serjeant Parsing had handed the Schoolroom-shire children the following verse, begging them to find out all the nouns and articles in it:—
Once there was a little boy,With curly hair and pleasant eye;A boy who always spoke the truth,And never, never told a lie.
Once there was a little boy,With curly hair and pleasant eye;A boy who always spoke the truth,And never, never told a lie.
Once there was a little boy,With curly hair and pleasant eye;A boy who always spoke the truth,And never, never told a lie.
Once there was a little boy,
With curly hair and pleasant eye;
A boy who always spoke the truth,
And never, never told a lie.