Miss P.You are not wearing your hat!
Dor.No, but—really, you know, I simply wanted—
Car.Captain Dorvaston, don't trouble; whatever you may say Miss Pillenger won't believe you.
Miss P.That is true. There are things that cannot be explained away. The broom cupboard is one of them. (going)
Dor.But I say, ma'am! (moves again)
Miss P.(motions him away) Good-night, Captain Dorvaston. (he opens door, she goes out.DorvastonandCooklook at each other, she smiles)
Dor.(after pause) I've made a nice mess of it.
Car.You have rather. (closes cupboard door, returnsL.)
Dor.If nature allowed a fella to kick himself, I'd do it with the greatest pleasure. (comes toR.and puts hat down on table) To drag you into such a beastly muddle! And I did so want to do you a turn.
Car.I know you did. You meant kindly, and I'm very grateful. Go to bed and forget all about it.
Dor.There'll be an awful row to-morrow. I'm not thinking of myself, I'm thinking about you.
Car.You needn't worry about me. Oddly enough, I've had news to-night that makes this affair very unimportant. Now I must really ask you to go.
Dor.All right, I'll be off. But, I say—you do forgive me?
Car.Of course I forgive you.
Dor.Thanks. Good-night!
Car.Good-night! (he goes to doorR.,then returns to table for his hat. As he does soPillengercautiously emerges from the larder. The two men face each other)
Pil.Hum! Tut, tut! (Cookturns and sitsL.)
Dor.Hulloa, sir! Were you in there?
Pil.Yes—I—er—was.
Dor.What, all the time?
Pil.I had an important reason for desiring a few minutes' conversation with—er—Cook.
Car.Mr. Pillenger shared your wish that I should better myself.
Dor.That's devilish lucky, because, as you were a witness, you can clean the slate for us, and back up what I say.
Pil.You fail to perceive that my perfectly innocent sojourn in the larder would be as difficult of plausible explanation as your own regrettable occupancy of the broom cupboard.
Dor.Jove, yes, that's true! What had we better do?
Car.The first step—especially as you are both invalids (the men look at each other) is for you to go to bed.
Pil.The suggestion is most judicious. (they both start for the door;Pillengerstops Dorvaston) I think, Captain Dorvaston, I will precede you by a few minutes. The stairs have a tendency to creak, and would certainly do so under our combined weight. Good-night.
Dor.Good-night, sir.
Pil.(is going but pauses) With your permission I will remove my boots. (he does so) It would not be fair to disturb the household. Good-night! (he goes out with a boot in each hand, and his hat under his arm)
Dor.(crosses and sitsR.) By George! then the governor was there all the time.
Car.Yes, I was well provided with chaperonage. (turns to mantel and puts gas out, takes candlestick from bracket and crosses to window)
Dor.It don't get you out of the mess, that's the worst of it.
Car.(shutting the window and then crossing to larder) You needn't mind me.
Dor.I'm bound to mind you. Are you sure there's nothing I could do to help you—in any sort of way?
Car.No. (shuts door; her eye goes to scullery) Well, there is one thing you could do for me—if you really mean what you say.
Dor.I swear I do! (rises)
Car.(crossesC.) What I should want you to do would be rather a nuisance. Are you sure you wouldn't mind?
Dor.Try me.
Car.Well, there's a man in the scullery.
Dor.Another man!
Car.Yes. I fancy you'll find he is asleep against the sink.
Dor.Is he, by George?
Car.Might I trouble you to fetch him out? (crosses to dresser and lights candle)
Dor.Eh? What? Oh, certainly! (he goes to scullery, opens door and discoversCrayllasleep in a sitting position;Dorvastonpicks him up, places him in achairR.of table) There you are! (Cookcrosses with candle, and light falls onCrayll'sface) Why, it's Crayll! (looks atCook)
Car.Yes.
Dor.He's as drunk as a fiddler.
Car.Yes. He called on me this evening, rather to my inconvenience.
Dor.Did he?
Car.Might I ask you—to put him somewhere for me? (Dorvastonlooks at her wonderingly) There's a dry ditch—at the end of the garden—that would do.
Dor.Anything you wish, of course.
Car.Thanks! (turnsB.gas out)
Dor.Then you know Crayll?
Car.Yes. (turning toDorvaston) He was my husband at one time. (turns out gas)
Dor.(in an amazed whisper) What!
Car.Good-night! (she goes out quietly at doorR.)
The stage is now dark except the moonlight which streams in at door.Dorvastonstands transfixed with astonishment—then he puts on his hat—goes up and opens the back door—returns—picks upCraylland carries him up stage. As he does so the
The stage is now dark except the moonlight which streams in at door.Dorvastonstands transfixed with astonishment—then he puts on his hat—goes up and opens the back door—returns—picks upCraylland carries him up stage. As he does so the
Curtain Falls.