CHAPTER III.GOING TO HOUSEKEEPING.I was married in the spring, and the bank gave me my vacation on the joyous occasion, so that I was enabled to make a bridal tour of ten days to the South. I went to Philadelphia, Baltimore and Washington, and while I distinctly recollect that I enjoyed myself exceedingly, and traveled like a prince, I can more vividly recall the rapidity with which my funds were expended. It had cost me all my salary to pay my board and to take Miss Lilian to the opera and the balls, but I could not afford to deprive Mrs. Glasswood of any luxury.Before we started I was “hard up,” and I tried to contrive some clever expedient by which the bridal tour might be dispensed with. I suggested to Lilian that the journey was not absolutely necessary; that some very “nobby” people staid at home after they were married. Her chin dropped down as though a ten pound weight had been attached to it, and she looked so sad andgloomy that I could not think for a moment longer of depriving her of this triumphal march, for so I am afraid she regarded it. Of course I did not hint to her that I could not afford to spend two or three hundred dollars in travelling, for we were still lovingly cheating each other into the belief that she was a princess and I was a representative of Crœsus himself.There was not a dollar to my credit at the bank, and I had not a dollar to my credit anywhere else. I was fretful one day, and unguardedly mentioned to Tom Flynn that I was short. The generous fellow promptly offered to lend me a hundred dollars. I am surprised now that I was able to accept it, but I did, and he put my “value received” into his wallet as choicely as though it had been as good as the gold itself. But a hundred dollars, though Tom seemed to think it would pay for every thing which it could possibly enter into the head of a groom to procure, was expended in trifles and before we were ready to start upon the bridal tour I was penniless again.I wanted three hundred dollars, for it would not be safe to start on a ten-days’ trip attended by such a helpmate as Lilian with less thanthis sum in my pocket. First class hotels, private parlors, carriages, the opera in New York, would make large demands upon my purse. I was rather sorry that Tom Flynn had offered to lend me a hundred dollars, for if he had not done so I should have asked him to favor me with the loan I now needed. I could not ask him, after what he had done. My uncle, Captain Halliard was a rich man, though he was a calculating and a careful one. I had been a favorite of his in my earlier years, and I knew that he had a great deal of regard for the honor of the family. I had hardly seen him since he helped me into my situation, for he had been on a business mission to Europe.Three hundred dollars was nothing to a man of his resources, and, with some sacrifice of pride on my part, I made up my mind to wait upon him with my request. He would understand the case, and readily see that a young man about to be married must incur a great many extraordinary expenses, and it would not be at all strange that he was temporarily “short.” I found the worthy old gentleman in the insurance office, up to his eyes in the news of the day. I talked with him for some time about indifferent topics, about my mother’s health and the affairs of Springhaven. Then I rose to depart, in the most natural manner in the world though I was rather grieved to see that he was not sorry to have me go; in fact, he returned to his newspaper with an eagerness which seemed to intimate that I had bored him. I took a few steps towards the door, and then, as though I had forgotten something, I hastily retraced my steps.I call upon my Uncle.Page 45.“By the way, uncle—I’m sorry to trouble you, but—could you lend me three hundred dollars for a few weeks?”“Three hundred dollars!” exclaimed the venerable seeker after the main chance, just as though I had attacked him in the tenderest part of his being.“The fact is, uncle, getting married in these times is an expensive luxury, and I find myself a little short, though, of course, I shall be all right as soon as I get settled down.”“It’s rather a bad sign for a young man to have to borrow money to get married with,” he added with a glance of severe dignity at me.“Never mind it, uncle. I won’t trouble you, then, if it is not convenient,” I replied, in a thoroughly off-hand manner, as though the littlefavor I asked was of more consequence to him than to me. “I shall expect to see you at the house of Mr. Oliphant at the ceremony, and remember the levee is at eight o’clock. Don’t fail to be there, uncle.”“Stop a minute! I suppose if you need three hundred dollars, I can let you have it,” he added.“O, it is of no consequence. Don’t trouble yourself. Two or three of my friends wanted to lend it to me, but I did not exactly like to accept such a favor outside of the family. Aunt Rachel, I dare say, will be glad to accommodate me.”“Write a note,” said he, rather crustily, as he went to one of the desks, and drew a check for the amount I required.I could not help smiling, as I wrote the due bill, to think of the address with which I had managed my case. I am confident if I had whined and begged until the sun went down, he would have been hard enough to refuse me. Possibly he did not like to have me apply to Aunt Rachel. She was a maiden sister of my father who had about twenty thousand dollars and lived with my mother. Her inheritance had been the same as my father’s, but, having no expenses, she had kept certain lands in the middle of the town till theyincreased in value so that she was made independent. As I wished to be her heir, I had always treated her with the utmost consideration. Captain Halliard managed some stocks for her, and he was anxious to keep in her good graces.I put the check in my pocket with the utmost nonchalance, and again begging my uncle not to fail to be present at the ceremony, I left him. It was all right with me for the present. When I started on my bridal tour I owed about six hundred dollars, which I calculated that I could easily pay off in six months with my increased salary. When we returned from Washington I had barely money enough left to pay the hackman for conveying us to the house of my wife’s father. If I had not been so cautious as to count up my money, and estimate the expenses of the return trip, I should have exhausted my exchequer before we reached home. When I found I had just enough left to pay these expenses, I told Lilian that I had received a letter which compelled me to return immediately, though we had intended to stay two days longer.She pouted, but I told her I should lose my situation if I did not go back. She thought I might get another situation rather than break upthe pleasant excursion so abruptly. I told her I could easily get another situation, but it was not exactly prudent to give up one until the other was obtained. It almost broke my heart to cross her in anything, and if I could have met a friend good-natured enough to lend me a hundred dollars I might have been spared the annoyance. I met no such friend, and we went on cheating each other as before. It was stupid in me to do so, but I had not the courage to tell her that I was not made of money, and I permitted her to believe that my pockets were still well lined.We returned home, but on the way I was obliged to pretend that I was sick, in order to save the expense of supper aboard the steamer. We had dined at four o’clock, and though it was absurd to eat again at six, Lilian wanted to see who were at the tables; but my pretended illness saved me, and, what was more important, saved the two dollars for the hack hire in Boston.“What shall we do when we get home?” asked Lilian, as we sat that evening in the cabin of the steamer.“We shall live on love for years to come,” I replied, with enthusiasm.“Of course we shall do that,” she added; butI thought she did not seem to be exactly pleased with the diet. “Shall we board or keep house?”“Which do you prefer, my dear Lilian?” I asked, for though we had discussed this question before, she had not been able to make up her mind.“If we can board at the Revere House, or at Mrs. Peecksmith’s in Beacon street, I would rather board.”“It would not be possible to obtain such rooms as would suit us at the Revere House at this season of the year; and I heard a gentleman in Washington say that Mrs. Peecksmith had not a single apartment unoccupied.”“How provoking!”It was provoking, but I had to invent my excuses as I went along. I did not venture to suggest that my entire salary would not pay the expenses of boarding at either of the places she named. I was too weak and vain to tell her the truth. I deceived her. She had no knowledge of the world, no experience of the value of money, for her poor father had actually ruined himself in a vain attempt to keep up the style of living he had enjoyed in more prosperous days. Nearly all his profits went upon the backs of his daughters,each of whom had been taught to believe that a husband, when interpreted, was money. I did nothing to disturb the illusion.“I think we must find a place to board for a few weeks, till we can get a house, and then we will go to housekeeping,” I suggested.“We must go to housekeeping if we can’t get rooms at the Revere, or at Mrs. Peecksmith’s,” added Lilian. “But dear ma will take us to board for a time; and really I could not think of going anywhere else.”We went to “dear ma’s,” and after I had paid the hackman, I had just twenty-five cents left in my pocket. “Dear ma” was willing to take us to board for a time, under the circumstances, though it would be a great inconvenience to her. She would not think of taking anybody else, though she had plenty of house room. I ventured to hint that, as a prudent man, I should like to know what the terms would be, though really it did not make the least difference to me, in point of fact. “Dear ma” did not like to speak of such things; she was going to take us simply as a matter of accommodation—“under the circumstances.”“Of course, Mrs. Oliphant, I understand you, and I am very grateful for the sacrifice you proposeto make; but it is always well to have things clearly set forth,” I replied, mildly.“Certainly it is. I always believe in having things in black and white. I suppose it would cost you fifty dollars a week to board at Mrs. Peecksmith’s; but I should not think of charging you that,” she continued, with a benevolent smile.“Gracious! I should hope not,” I mentally ejaculated, for at the Beacon Street house the boarders walked on Wilton carpets, looked out through windows decked with velvet draperies, slept upon rosewood bedsteads, and had seven courses at dinner, while Mr. Oliphant’s house was an old one, its furniture worn out and dilapidated, its carpets threadbare, and the fare—when they had no extra company—below the grade of a cheap boarding-house. If I had not loved Lilian with all my soul, I should have deemed it a charity to take her off her parents’ hands. As it was, she was cheap at any price.“Whatever you say will be all right,” I replied. “I am getting a handsome salary now, and I am willing to pay a fair price.”“I think thirty dollars a week would be no more than the cost to us. Of course I don’t expect you to pay anything near what it would cost at Mrs. Peecksmith’s.”Whew! I could board at a house only one grade below Beacon Street for twenty. I expected she would say ten, or at the most fifteen dollars, but, poor “dear ma!” I suppose she needed the money to deck out the next daughter for the sacrifice. I could not object. It was all in the family; but I determined to find a house with all possible dispatch.I went to the bank and took my place. I flatter myself that I was smart, for I won the approbation of even Mr. Bristlebach. I made no mistakes. I was not nervous. When I drew my month’s salary of one hundred and fifty dollars, all but about twenty dollars of it went into the purse of “dear ma,” for board which would have been high at ten dollars a week. Though Lilian complained of the accommodations, she said nothing about housekeeping. I made some inquiries, and found I could board better for half the price I was paying. I then said something about engaging rooms nearer to the bank. My dear wife protested. She could not leave “dear ma’s,” where she had all the comforts of a home, and was in her own family. I saw that she was a party to the swindle; that “dear ma” had instructed her what to do and what to say.My home was no home at all, and I was determined to leave it before I had another month’s board to pay. To stay any longer would be ruin. My twenty dollars’ surplus would pay for only a few concerts and rides, and in less than a fortnight I was penniless again. My debts began to trouble me. One day Captain Halliard wanted to know if he had not lent me three hundred dollars for a few weeks. I assured him he had, and that I intended to pay him in a few days. Tom Flynn hinted that he was short, though he did not directly say he wanted his money. My tailor was becoming slightly unreasonable, and the keeper of a livery stable stupidly insisted upon being paid, and even had the audacity to refuse to trust me for any more teams.It would not do for me to have these importunate creditors coming into the bank to see me. The president and the cashier would be alarmed if they discovered that the paying teller was in debt. But trying as these duns were, they were insignificant compared with the annoyances which I endured at “dear ma’s.” Lilian hinted, and then insisted, that I should refurnish our room at my own expense. I told her I would think of it, and went out to walk after dinner. I did thinkof it; and thought I would not do it. Strange as it may seem, “dear ma” was absolutely becoming disagreeable to me, and I wondered how such an angel as Lilian could have been born of such a designing woman as I found her mother to be.I stumbled upon a friend who had been to look at a house. It was a splendid little place, but not quite large enough for him, and the rent was only six hundred dollars a year. I went with him to see it. It looked like a fairy palace to me, and was just the size I wanted. It was an English basement house, three stories high. I went to see the owner. Another man had just left it, and meant to take the house, but he must first consult his wife. If I stopped to consult mine, I should lose it, and I closed with him on the instant, regarding myself as the luckiest fellow in the world.Lilian would be delighted with it; there could be no doubt of that. What a magnificent surprise it would be to her, if I could take her in, after it was all furnished! Stupid as the idea may seem to lady housekeepers, I was so enamored of my plan that I determined to put it into operation. I was satisfied we could live in this gem of a house for less than I paid for board, and live in much better style.The idea of a surprise to Lilian was delightful to me, and I laid out the plan in detail; but the first thing was to provide the funds. Then my jaw dropped down. I owed over six hundred dollars to certain restless creditors; but I could save money by going to housekeeping, and my duty to them required that I should do so. I had not yet troubled Aunt Rachel, and taking Lilian with me, I went down to Springhaven to spend the Fourth of July, ostensibly to escape the noise and dust of the city, but really to lay siege to my venerable aunt’s purse strings.The only thing that was likely to defeat me was the fact that Aunt Rachel did not like my wife, for Lilian, who regarded the worthy spinster as an “old fuss,” had not always been as prudent in her presence as I could have wished. But I caught my aunt alone at five o’clock in the morning, for the noise of fire-crackers had driven the old creature from her bed at an unwonted hour. I played my cards with all the skill of which I was master. She not only gave me the money, a thousand dollars, which she had “salted down” in the house for fear all the banks would break, but she promised to keep my secret. She declared that Lilian was too extravagant for ayoung man like me, and I explained that I wished to furnish the house without her knowledge, so as to save expense. She commended my good motive, and I returned to the city with a thousand dollars in my pocket, to furnish the English basement house.
CHAPTER III.GOING TO HOUSEKEEPING.I was married in the spring, and the bank gave me my vacation on the joyous occasion, so that I was enabled to make a bridal tour of ten days to the South. I went to Philadelphia, Baltimore and Washington, and while I distinctly recollect that I enjoyed myself exceedingly, and traveled like a prince, I can more vividly recall the rapidity with which my funds were expended. It had cost me all my salary to pay my board and to take Miss Lilian to the opera and the balls, but I could not afford to deprive Mrs. Glasswood of any luxury.Before we started I was “hard up,” and I tried to contrive some clever expedient by which the bridal tour might be dispensed with. I suggested to Lilian that the journey was not absolutely necessary; that some very “nobby” people staid at home after they were married. Her chin dropped down as though a ten pound weight had been attached to it, and she looked so sad andgloomy that I could not think for a moment longer of depriving her of this triumphal march, for so I am afraid she regarded it. Of course I did not hint to her that I could not afford to spend two or three hundred dollars in travelling, for we were still lovingly cheating each other into the belief that she was a princess and I was a representative of Crœsus himself.There was not a dollar to my credit at the bank, and I had not a dollar to my credit anywhere else. I was fretful one day, and unguardedly mentioned to Tom Flynn that I was short. The generous fellow promptly offered to lend me a hundred dollars. I am surprised now that I was able to accept it, but I did, and he put my “value received” into his wallet as choicely as though it had been as good as the gold itself. But a hundred dollars, though Tom seemed to think it would pay for every thing which it could possibly enter into the head of a groom to procure, was expended in trifles and before we were ready to start upon the bridal tour I was penniless again.I wanted three hundred dollars, for it would not be safe to start on a ten-days’ trip attended by such a helpmate as Lilian with less thanthis sum in my pocket. First class hotels, private parlors, carriages, the opera in New York, would make large demands upon my purse. I was rather sorry that Tom Flynn had offered to lend me a hundred dollars, for if he had not done so I should have asked him to favor me with the loan I now needed. I could not ask him, after what he had done. My uncle, Captain Halliard was a rich man, though he was a calculating and a careful one. I had been a favorite of his in my earlier years, and I knew that he had a great deal of regard for the honor of the family. I had hardly seen him since he helped me into my situation, for he had been on a business mission to Europe.Three hundred dollars was nothing to a man of his resources, and, with some sacrifice of pride on my part, I made up my mind to wait upon him with my request. He would understand the case, and readily see that a young man about to be married must incur a great many extraordinary expenses, and it would not be at all strange that he was temporarily “short.” I found the worthy old gentleman in the insurance office, up to his eyes in the news of the day. I talked with him for some time about indifferent topics, about my mother’s health and the affairs of Springhaven. Then I rose to depart, in the most natural manner in the world though I was rather grieved to see that he was not sorry to have me go; in fact, he returned to his newspaper with an eagerness which seemed to intimate that I had bored him. I took a few steps towards the door, and then, as though I had forgotten something, I hastily retraced my steps.I call upon my Uncle.Page 45.“By the way, uncle—I’m sorry to trouble you, but—could you lend me three hundred dollars for a few weeks?”“Three hundred dollars!” exclaimed the venerable seeker after the main chance, just as though I had attacked him in the tenderest part of his being.“The fact is, uncle, getting married in these times is an expensive luxury, and I find myself a little short, though, of course, I shall be all right as soon as I get settled down.”“It’s rather a bad sign for a young man to have to borrow money to get married with,” he added with a glance of severe dignity at me.“Never mind it, uncle. I won’t trouble you, then, if it is not convenient,” I replied, in a thoroughly off-hand manner, as though the littlefavor I asked was of more consequence to him than to me. “I shall expect to see you at the house of Mr. Oliphant at the ceremony, and remember the levee is at eight o’clock. Don’t fail to be there, uncle.”“Stop a minute! I suppose if you need three hundred dollars, I can let you have it,” he added.“O, it is of no consequence. Don’t trouble yourself. Two or three of my friends wanted to lend it to me, but I did not exactly like to accept such a favor outside of the family. Aunt Rachel, I dare say, will be glad to accommodate me.”“Write a note,” said he, rather crustily, as he went to one of the desks, and drew a check for the amount I required.I could not help smiling, as I wrote the due bill, to think of the address with which I had managed my case. I am confident if I had whined and begged until the sun went down, he would have been hard enough to refuse me. Possibly he did not like to have me apply to Aunt Rachel. She was a maiden sister of my father who had about twenty thousand dollars and lived with my mother. Her inheritance had been the same as my father’s, but, having no expenses, she had kept certain lands in the middle of the town till theyincreased in value so that she was made independent. As I wished to be her heir, I had always treated her with the utmost consideration. Captain Halliard managed some stocks for her, and he was anxious to keep in her good graces.I put the check in my pocket with the utmost nonchalance, and again begging my uncle not to fail to be present at the ceremony, I left him. It was all right with me for the present. When I started on my bridal tour I owed about six hundred dollars, which I calculated that I could easily pay off in six months with my increased salary. When we returned from Washington I had barely money enough left to pay the hackman for conveying us to the house of my wife’s father. If I had not been so cautious as to count up my money, and estimate the expenses of the return trip, I should have exhausted my exchequer before we reached home. When I found I had just enough left to pay these expenses, I told Lilian that I had received a letter which compelled me to return immediately, though we had intended to stay two days longer.She pouted, but I told her I should lose my situation if I did not go back. She thought I might get another situation rather than break upthe pleasant excursion so abruptly. I told her I could easily get another situation, but it was not exactly prudent to give up one until the other was obtained. It almost broke my heart to cross her in anything, and if I could have met a friend good-natured enough to lend me a hundred dollars I might have been spared the annoyance. I met no such friend, and we went on cheating each other as before. It was stupid in me to do so, but I had not the courage to tell her that I was not made of money, and I permitted her to believe that my pockets were still well lined.We returned home, but on the way I was obliged to pretend that I was sick, in order to save the expense of supper aboard the steamer. We had dined at four o’clock, and though it was absurd to eat again at six, Lilian wanted to see who were at the tables; but my pretended illness saved me, and, what was more important, saved the two dollars for the hack hire in Boston.“What shall we do when we get home?” asked Lilian, as we sat that evening in the cabin of the steamer.“We shall live on love for years to come,” I replied, with enthusiasm.“Of course we shall do that,” she added; butI thought she did not seem to be exactly pleased with the diet. “Shall we board or keep house?”“Which do you prefer, my dear Lilian?” I asked, for though we had discussed this question before, she had not been able to make up her mind.“If we can board at the Revere House, or at Mrs. Peecksmith’s in Beacon street, I would rather board.”“It would not be possible to obtain such rooms as would suit us at the Revere House at this season of the year; and I heard a gentleman in Washington say that Mrs. Peecksmith had not a single apartment unoccupied.”“How provoking!”It was provoking, but I had to invent my excuses as I went along. I did not venture to suggest that my entire salary would not pay the expenses of boarding at either of the places she named. I was too weak and vain to tell her the truth. I deceived her. She had no knowledge of the world, no experience of the value of money, for her poor father had actually ruined himself in a vain attempt to keep up the style of living he had enjoyed in more prosperous days. Nearly all his profits went upon the backs of his daughters,each of whom had been taught to believe that a husband, when interpreted, was money. I did nothing to disturb the illusion.“I think we must find a place to board for a few weeks, till we can get a house, and then we will go to housekeeping,” I suggested.“We must go to housekeeping if we can’t get rooms at the Revere, or at Mrs. Peecksmith’s,” added Lilian. “But dear ma will take us to board for a time; and really I could not think of going anywhere else.”We went to “dear ma’s,” and after I had paid the hackman, I had just twenty-five cents left in my pocket. “Dear ma” was willing to take us to board for a time, under the circumstances, though it would be a great inconvenience to her. She would not think of taking anybody else, though she had plenty of house room. I ventured to hint that, as a prudent man, I should like to know what the terms would be, though really it did not make the least difference to me, in point of fact. “Dear ma” did not like to speak of such things; she was going to take us simply as a matter of accommodation—“under the circumstances.”“Of course, Mrs. Oliphant, I understand you, and I am very grateful for the sacrifice you proposeto make; but it is always well to have things clearly set forth,” I replied, mildly.“Certainly it is. I always believe in having things in black and white. I suppose it would cost you fifty dollars a week to board at Mrs. Peecksmith’s; but I should not think of charging you that,” she continued, with a benevolent smile.“Gracious! I should hope not,” I mentally ejaculated, for at the Beacon Street house the boarders walked on Wilton carpets, looked out through windows decked with velvet draperies, slept upon rosewood bedsteads, and had seven courses at dinner, while Mr. Oliphant’s house was an old one, its furniture worn out and dilapidated, its carpets threadbare, and the fare—when they had no extra company—below the grade of a cheap boarding-house. If I had not loved Lilian with all my soul, I should have deemed it a charity to take her off her parents’ hands. As it was, she was cheap at any price.“Whatever you say will be all right,” I replied. “I am getting a handsome salary now, and I am willing to pay a fair price.”“I think thirty dollars a week would be no more than the cost to us. Of course I don’t expect you to pay anything near what it would cost at Mrs. Peecksmith’s.”Whew! I could board at a house only one grade below Beacon Street for twenty. I expected she would say ten, or at the most fifteen dollars, but, poor “dear ma!” I suppose she needed the money to deck out the next daughter for the sacrifice. I could not object. It was all in the family; but I determined to find a house with all possible dispatch.I went to the bank and took my place. I flatter myself that I was smart, for I won the approbation of even Mr. Bristlebach. I made no mistakes. I was not nervous. When I drew my month’s salary of one hundred and fifty dollars, all but about twenty dollars of it went into the purse of “dear ma,” for board which would have been high at ten dollars a week. Though Lilian complained of the accommodations, she said nothing about housekeeping. I made some inquiries, and found I could board better for half the price I was paying. I then said something about engaging rooms nearer to the bank. My dear wife protested. She could not leave “dear ma’s,” where she had all the comforts of a home, and was in her own family. I saw that she was a party to the swindle; that “dear ma” had instructed her what to do and what to say.My home was no home at all, and I was determined to leave it before I had another month’s board to pay. To stay any longer would be ruin. My twenty dollars’ surplus would pay for only a few concerts and rides, and in less than a fortnight I was penniless again. My debts began to trouble me. One day Captain Halliard wanted to know if he had not lent me three hundred dollars for a few weeks. I assured him he had, and that I intended to pay him in a few days. Tom Flynn hinted that he was short, though he did not directly say he wanted his money. My tailor was becoming slightly unreasonable, and the keeper of a livery stable stupidly insisted upon being paid, and even had the audacity to refuse to trust me for any more teams.It would not do for me to have these importunate creditors coming into the bank to see me. The president and the cashier would be alarmed if they discovered that the paying teller was in debt. But trying as these duns were, they were insignificant compared with the annoyances which I endured at “dear ma’s.” Lilian hinted, and then insisted, that I should refurnish our room at my own expense. I told her I would think of it, and went out to walk after dinner. I did thinkof it; and thought I would not do it. Strange as it may seem, “dear ma” was absolutely becoming disagreeable to me, and I wondered how such an angel as Lilian could have been born of such a designing woman as I found her mother to be.I stumbled upon a friend who had been to look at a house. It was a splendid little place, but not quite large enough for him, and the rent was only six hundred dollars a year. I went with him to see it. It looked like a fairy palace to me, and was just the size I wanted. It was an English basement house, three stories high. I went to see the owner. Another man had just left it, and meant to take the house, but he must first consult his wife. If I stopped to consult mine, I should lose it, and I closed with him on the instant, regarding myself as the luckiest fellow in the world.Lilian would be delighted with it; there could be no doubt of that. What a magnificent surprise it would be to her, if I could take her in, after it was all furnished! Stupid as the idea may seem to lady housekeepers, I was so enamored of my plan that I determined to put it into operation. I was satisfied we could live in this gem of a house for less than I paid for board, and live in much better style.The idea of a surprise to Lilian was delightful to me, and I laid out the plan in detail; but the first thing was to provide the funds. Then my jaw dropped down. I owed over six hundred dollars to certain restless creditors; but I could save money by going to housekeeping, and my duty to them required that I should do so. I had not yet troubled Aunt Rachel, and taking Lilian with me, I went down to Springhaven to spend the Fourth of July, ostensibly to escape the noise and dust of the city, but really to lay siege to my venerable aunt’s purse strings.The only thing that was likely to defeat me was the fact that Aunt Rachel did not like my wife, for Lilian, who regarded the worthy spinster as an “old fuss,” had not always been as prudent in her presence as I could have wished. But I caught my aunt alone at five o’clock in the morning, for the noise of fire-crackers had driven the old creature from her bed at an unwonted hour. I played my cards with all the skill of which I was master. She not only gave me the money, a thousand dollars, which she had “salted down” in the house for fear all the banks would break, but she promised to keep my secret. She declared that Lilian was too extravagant for ayoung man like me, and I explained that I wished to furnish the house without her knowledge, so as to save expense. She commended my good motive, and I returned to the city with a thousand dollars in my pocket, to furnish the English basement house.
GOING TO HOUSEKEEPING.
I was married in the spring, and the bank gave me my vacation on the joyous occasion, so that I was enabled to make a bridal tour of ten days to the South. I went to Philadelphia, Baltimore and Washington, and while I distinctly recollect that I enjoyed myself exceedingly, and traveled like a prince, I can more vividly recall the rapidity with which my funds were expended. It had cost me all my salary to pay my board and to take Miss Lilian to the opera and the balls, but I could not afford to deprive Mrs. Glasswood of any luxury.
Before we started I was “hard up,” and I tried to contrive some clever expedient by which the bridal tour might be dispensed with. I suggested to Lilian that the journey was not absolutely necessary; that some very “nobby” people staid at home after they were married. Her chin dropped down as though a ten pound weight had been attached to it, and she looked so sad andgloomy that I could not think for a moment longer of depriving her of this triumphal march, for so I am afraid she regarded it. Of course I did not hint to her that I could not afford to spend two or three hundred dollars in travelling, for we were still lovingly cheating each other into the belief that she was a princess and I was a representative of Crœsus himself.
There was not a dollar to my credit at the bank, and I had not a dollar to my credit anywhere else. I was fretful one day, and unguardedly mentioned to Tom Flynn that I was short. The generous fellow promptly offered to lend me a hundred dollars. I am surprised now that I was able to accept it, but I did, and he put my “value received” into his wallet as choicely as though it had been as good as the gold itself. But a hundred dollars, though Tom seemed to think it would pay for every thing which it could possibly enter into the head of a groom to procure, was expended in trifles and before we were ready to start upon the bridal tour I was penniless again.
I wanted three hundred dollars, for it would not be safe to start on a ten-days’ trip attended by such a helpmate as Lilian with less thanthis sum in my pocket. First class hotels, private parlors, carriages, the opera in New York, would make large demands upon my purse. I was rather sorry that Tom Flynn had offered to lend me a hundred dollars, for if he had not done so I should have asked him to favor me with the loan I now needed. I could not ask him, after what he had done. My uncle, Captain Halliard was a rich man, though he was a calculating and a careful one. I had been a favorite of his in my earlier years, and I knew that he had a great deal of regard for the honor of the family. I had hardly seen him since he helped me into my situation, for he had been on a business mission to Europe.
Three hundred dollars was nothing to a man of his resources, and, with some sacrifice of pride on my part, I made up my mind to wait upon him with my request. He would understand the case, and readily see that a young man about to be married must incur a great many extraordinary expenses, and it would not be at all strange that he was temporarily “short.” I found the worthy old gentleman in the insurance office, up to his eyes in the news of the day. I talked with him for some time about indifferent topics, about my mother’s health and the affairs of Springhaven. Then I rose to depart, in the most natural manner in the world though I was rather grieved to see that he was not sorry to have me go; in fact, he returned to his newspaper with an eagerness which seemed to intimate that I had bored him. I took a few steps towards the door, and then, as though I had forgotten something, I hastily retraced my steps.
I call upon my Uncle.Page 45.
I call upon my Uncle.Page 45.
I call upon my Uncle.Page 45.
“By the way, uncle—I’m sorry to trouble you, but—could you lend me three hundred dollars for a few weeks?”
“Three hundred dollars!” exclaimed the venerable seeker after the main chance, just as though I had attacked him in the tenderest part of his being.
“The fact is, uncle, getting married in these times is an expensive luxury, and I find myself a little short, though, of course, I shall be all right as soon as I get settled down.”
“It’s rather a bad sign for a young man to have to borrow money to get married with,” he added with a glance of severe dignity at me.
“Never mind it, uncle. I won’t trouble you, then, if it is not convenient,” I replied, in a thoroughly off-hand manner, as though the littlefavor I asked was of more consequence to him than to me. “I shall expect to see you at the house of Mr. Oliphant at the ceremony, and remember the levee is at eight o’clock. Don’t fail to be there, uncle.”
“Stop a minute! I suppose if you need three hundred dollars, I can let you have it,” he added.
“O, it is of no consequence. Don’t trouble yourself. Two or three of my friends wanted to lend it to me, but I did not exactly like to accept such a favor outside of the family. Aunt Rachel, I dare say, will be glad to accommodate me.”
“Write a note,” said he, rather crustily, as he went to one of the desks, and drew a check for the amount I required.
I could not help smiling, as I wrote the due bill, to think of the address with which I had managed my case. I am confident if I had whined and begged until the sun went down, he would have been hard enough to refuse me. Possibly he did not like to have me apply to Aunt Rachel. She was a maiden sister of my father who had about twenty thousand dollars and lived with my mother. Her inheritance had been the same as my father’s, but, having no expenses, she had kept certain lands in the middle of the town till theyincreased in value so that she was made independent. As I wished to be her heir, I had always treated her with the utmost consideration. Captain Halliard managed some stocks for her, and he was anxious to keep in her good graces.
I put the check in my pocket with the utmost nonchalance, and again begging my uncle not to fail to be present at the ceremony, I left him. It was all right with me for the present. When I started on my bridal tour I owed about six hundred dollars, which I calculated that I could easily pay off in six months with my increased salary. When we returned from Washington I had barely money enough left to pay the hackman for conveying us to the house of my wife’s father. If I had not been so cautious as to count up my money, and estimate the expenses of the return trip, I should have exhausted my exchequer before we reached home. When I found I had just enough left to pay these expenses, I told Lilian that I had received a letter which compelled me to return immediately, though we had intended to stay two days longer.
She pouted, but I told her I should lose my situation if I did not go back. She thought I might get another situation rather than break upthe pleasant excursion so abruptly. I told her I could easily get another situation, but it was not exactly prudent to give up one until the other was obtained. It almost broke my heart to cross her in anything, and if I could have met a friend good-natured enough to lend me a hundred dollars I might have been spared the annoyance. I met no such friend, and we went on cheating each other as before. It was stupid in me to do so, but I had not the courage to tell her that I was not made of money, and I permitted her to believe that my pockets were still well lined.
We returned home, but on the way I was obliged to pretend that I was sick, in order to save the expense of supper aboard the steamer. We had dined at four o’clock, and though it was absurd to eat again at six, Lilian wanted to see who were at the tables; but my pretended illness saved me, and, what was more important, saved the two dollars for the hack hire in Boston.
“What shall we do when we get home?” asked Lilian, as we sat that evening in the cabin of the steamer.
“We shall live on love for years to come,” I replied, with enthusiasm.
“Of course we shall do that,” she added; butI thought she did not seem to be exactly pleased with the diet. “Shall we board or keep house?”
“Which do you prefer, my dear Lilian?” I asked, for though we had discussed this question before, she had not been able to make up her mind.
“If we can board at the Revere House, or at Mrs. Peecksmith’s in Beacon street, I would rather board.”
“It would not be possible to obtain such rooms as would suit us at the Revere House at this season of the year; and I heard a gentleman in Washington say that Mrs. Peecksmith had not a single apartment unoccupied.”
“How provoking!”
It was provoking, but I had to invent my excuses as I went along. I did not venture to suggest that my entire salary would not pay the expenses of boarding at either of the places she named. I was too weak and vain to tell her the truth. I deceived her. She had no knowledge of the world, no experience of the value of money, for her poor father had actually ruined himself in a vain attempt to keep up the style of living he had enjoyed in more prosperous days. Nearly all his profits went upon the backs of his daughters,each of whom had been taught to believe that a husband, when interpreted, was money. I did nothing to disturb the illusion.
“I think we must find a place to board for a few weeks, till we can get a house, and then we will go to housekeeping,” I suggested.
“We must go to housekeeping if we can’t get rooms at the Revere, or at Mrs. Peecksmith’s,” added Lilian. “But dear ma will take us to board for a time; and really I could not think of going anywhere else.”
We went to “dear ma’s,” and after I had paid the hackman, I had just twenty-five cents left in my pocket. “Dear ma” was willing to take us to board for a time, under the circumstances, though it would be a great inconvenience to her. She would not think of taking anybody else, though she had plenty of house room. I ventured to hint that, as a prudent man, I should like to know what the terms would be, though really it did not make the least difference to me, in point of fact. “Dear ma” did not like to speak of such things; she was going to take us simply as a matter of accommodation—“under the circumstances.”
“Of course, Mrs. Oliphant, I understand you, and I am very grateful for the sacrifice you proposeto make; but it is always well to have things clearly set forth,” I replied, mildly.
“Certainly it is. I always believe in having things in black and white. I suppose it would cost you fifty dollars a week to board at Mrs. Peecksmith’s; but I should not think of charging you that,” she continued, with a benevolent smile.
“Gracious! I should hope not,” I mentally ejaculated, for at the Beacon Street house the boarders walked on Wilton carpets, looked out through windows decked with velvet draperies, slept upon rosewood bedsteads, and had seven courses at dinner, while Mr. Oliphant’s house was an old one, its furniture worn out and dilapidated, its carpets threadbare, and the fare—when they had no extra company—below the grade of a cheap boarding-house. If I had not loved Lilian with all my soul, I should have deemed it a charity to take her off her parents’ hands. As it was, she was cheap at any price.
“Whatever you say will be all right,” I replied. “I am getting a handsome salary now, and I am willing to pay a fair price.”
“I think thirty dollars a week would be no more than the cost to us. Of course I don’t expect you to pay anything near what it would cost at Mrs. Peecksmith’s.”
Whew! I could board at a house only one grade below Beacon Street for twenty. I expected she would say ten, or at the most fifteen dollars, but, poor “dear ma!” I suppose she needed the money to deck out the next daughter for the sacrifice. I could not object. It was all in the family; but I determined to find a house with all possible dispatch.
I went to the bank and took my place. I flatter myself that I was smart, for I won the approbation of even Mr. Bristlebach. I made no mistakes. I was not nervous. When I drew my month’s salary of one hundred and fifty dollars, all but about twenty dollars of it went into the purse of “dear ma,” for board which would have been high at ten dollars a week. Though Lilian complained of the accommodations, she said nothing about housekeeping. I made some inquiries, and found I could board better for half the price I was paying. I then said something about engaging rooms nearer to the bank. My dear wife protested. She could not leave “dear ma’s,” where she had all the comforts of a home, and was in her own family. I saw that she was a party to the swindle; that “dear ma” had instructed her what to do and what to say.
My home was no home at all, and I was determined to leave it before I had another month’s board to pay. To stay any longer would be ruin. My twenty dollars’ surplus would pay for only a few concerts and rides, and in less than a fortnight I was penniless again. My debts began to trouble me. One day Captain Halliard wanted to know if he had not lent me three hundred dollars for a few weeks. I assured him he had, and that I intended to pay him in a few days. Tom Flynn hinted that he was short, though he did not directly say he wanted his money. My tailor was becoming slightly unreasonable, and the keeper of a livery stable stupidly insisted upon being paid, and even had the audacity to refuse to trust me for any more teams.
It would not do for me to have these importunate creditors coming into the bank to see me. The president and the cashier would be alarmed if they discovered that the paying teller was in debt. But trying as these duns were, they were insignificant compared with the annoyances which I endured at “dear ma’s.” Lilian hinted, and then insisted, that I should refurnish our room at my own expense. I told her I would think of it, and went out to walk after dinner. I did thinkof it; and thought I would not do it. Strange as it may seem, “dear ma” was absolutely becoming disagreeable to me, and I wondered how such an angel as Lilian could have been born of such a designing woman as I found her mother to be.
I stumbled upon a friend who had been to look at a house. It was a splendid little place, but not quite large enough for him, and the rent was only six hundred dollars a year. I went with him to see it. It looked like a fairy palace to me, and was just the size I wanted. It was an English basement house, three stories high. I went to see the owner. Another man had just left it, and meant to take the house, but he must first consult his wife. If I stopped to consult mine, I should lose it, and I closed with him on the instant, regarding myself as the luckiest fellow in the world.
Lilian would be delighted with it; there could be no doubt of that. What a magnificent surprise it would be to her, if I could take her in, after it was all furnished! Stupid as the idea may seem to lady housekeepers, I was so enamored of my plan that I determined to put it into operation. I was satisfied we could live in this gem of a house for less than I paid for board, and live in much better style.
The idea of a surprise to Lilian was delightful to me, and I laid out the plan in detail; but the first thing was to provide the funds. Then my jaw dropped down. I owed over six hundred dollars to certain restless creditors; but I could save money by going to housekeeping, and my duty to them required that I should do so. I had not yet troubled Aunt Rachel, and taking Lilian with me, I went down to Springhaven to spend the Fourth of July, ostensibly to escape the noise and dust of the city, but really to lay siege to my venerable aunt’s purse strings.
The only thing that was likely to defeat me was the fact that Aunt Rachel did not like my wife, for Lilian, who regarded the worthy spinster as an “old fuss,” had not always been as prudent in her presence as I could have wished. But I caught my aunt alone at five o’clock in the morning, for the noise of fire-crackers had driven the old creature from her bed at an unwonted hour. I played my cards with all the skill of which I was master. She not only gave me the money, a thousand dollars, which she had “salted down” in the house for fear all the banks would break, but she promised to keep my secret. She declared that Lilian was too extravagant for ayoung man like me, and I explained that I wished to furnish the house without her knowledge, so as to save expense. She commended my good motive, and I returned to the city with a thousand dollars in my pocket, to furnish the English basement house.