Septemberis actually the commencement of the country visiting season, the few visits that are paid in August are but a prelude to the programme that is to follow during the succeeding five months.
The visitors received in Augustare principally relatives. The exceptions to the August family parties are the August cricket parties in the counties where cricket is made a great feature during that month, where the cricket weeks and consequent large country-house parties are of annual recurrence, and where balls and private theatricals form part of the week's amusement. It often follows that people visit at the same houses year after year, they arrange their tour of visits with regard to those invitations which they annually receive; new acquaintances and new houses whereat to visit are added to the list from time to time and take the place of those which, as a matter of course, drop out of it. Sometimes the invitations fit into each other admirably, like the pieces of a puzzle; at others there is an awkward interval of a day, or two or three days, to be filled up between leaving one house and arriving at another. If the hostess is, in either case, a relation or an intimate friend, this difficulty is easily surmounted by staying on at one house until the day fixed for arrival at another, orvice versâ; but if a guest is on ceremony with her hostess, or if, as is often the case, new arrivals are expected for the followingweek, the alternative is to spend a few days in town, as although the house where the next visit to be paid might be within twenty or thirty miles of the house the visitor is about to leave, it would be unusual to spend the interval at an hotel in the adjacent town, as to do so might reflect upon the hospitality of the hostess. On the other hand, invitations are sometimes given independently of dates, but this friendly style of invitation is not given when a large party is invited, and it is understood to mean that the hostess may be quite alone, or may have guests staying with her, as the case may be. This form of invitation is frequently given to people visiting in Scotland, on account of the great distance from town.
It is a very general custom to give shooting parties the third week in September, harvest permitting. If the harvest is late on account of unfavourable weather the shooting parties are postponed until the first week in the ensuing month. The guests, or at least the crack guns, are usually invited for partridge driving, which is what partridge shooting now actually amounts to.
There are large shooting parties and small shooting parties, shooting parties to which royalty is invited and shooting parties restricted to intimate friends or relations, but in either case the period is the same, three days' shooting.
If a party is limited to five guns, seven ladies is the average number invited, the hostess relying upon a neighbour or a neighbour's son to equalise the balance at the dinner-table. The success of house-parties mainly depends upon people knowing each other, or fraternising when they are introduced or have made each other's acquaintance. The ladies of a country-house party are expected, as a rule, to amuse themselves, more or less, during the day. After luncheon there is usually a drive to a neighbouring town, a little shopping to be done there, or a call to be paid in theneighbourhood by some of the party, notably the married ladies, the young ladies being left to their own resources.
At the close of a visit game is offered to those of the shooters to whom it is known that it will be acceptable.
The head gamekeeper is usually instructed to put up a couple of brace of pheasants and a hare. But in some houses even this custom is not followed, and the whole of the game killed, with the exception of what is required for the house, finds its way into the market, both the local market and the London market.
Shooting parties as a rule give a hostess little anxiety on the score of finding amusement for the ladies of the party, as so many aids out of doors are at her command at this season of the year. This is a great advantage, as although some few ladies possessing great strength of nerve have taken up shooting as an amusement and pastime and acquit themselves surprisingly well in this manly sport, yet ladies in general are not inclined for so dangerous a game, and even those intrepid ladies who have learnt how to use their little gun would never be permitted to make one or two of a big shooting party, even were they so inclined.
The hostess and the ladies of the party invariably join the shooters at luncheon, and some of the ladies go out with the shooters in the morning to watch their prowess in the field; but this entails a great deal of walking where partridge shooting is concerned, which is quite another thing to covert shooting in November and December.
A good hostess has great opportunitiesfor distinguishing herself when entertaining a country-house party, from the arrival of the first motor-car to the departure of the last. Her consideration and tact are so successfully exerted that somehow her guests always find themselves doing exactlywhat they like best and in company with those who are most congenial to them, to say nothing of the comfort of the general domestic arrangements, which seem to have been arranged exclusively for their convenience. If they wish to drive, there is a carriage or motor-car at their disposal; if they prefer a constitutional, there is some one very agreeable desirous of walking with them. The daily papers are always to be found, the post-bag goes out at a most convenient hour by the hand of a special messenger, the dinner is of the best, and the evening is of the cheeriest. Bridge as a rule is played in most houses, and several tables are arranged in the drawing-room to accommodate the would-be players.
Occasionally, when the birds are wild and sport is slack, a sort of picnic luncheon is held in the vicinity of a keeper's lodge, under the shade of some wide-spreading trees, when the ladies join the party; but in September keen sportsmen rather despise this playing at shooting, and resent the interruption caused by the company of ladies at luncheon, and prefer to take it in the rough and smoke the while. Every day of the week is not thus given up to shooting, and there are few owners of manors who would care to provide five days' consecutive sport for their guests, and two days' hard shooting is probably followed by what is called an idle day. On these off days in September the hostess often gives a garden-party, or takes her guests to one given by a neighbour at some few miles distant; or she holds a stall at a bazaar and persuades her guests to assist her in disposing of her stock; or she induces her party to accompany her to some flower-show in which she takes a local interest; or the host and one or two of the best shots start early after breakfast to shoot with a neighbour, and the remainder of the guests drive over to a picturesque ruin, where they picnic, and return home in time for the eight-o'clock dinner. If the owner of a mansion has a coach the whole party is conveyed on it, otherwise the motor-cars are brought into requisition,while saddle horses are provided for those who care to ride. A country-house party occasionally resolves itself into two or more cliques, as far as the ladies are concerned; gentlemen, as a rule, are not much given to this sort of thing. On the first evening, as soon as the ladies have left the dining-room for the drawing-room, these little cliques are tacitly formed, and continue unbroken until the close of the visit. There are many reasons which call these cliques into existence—old intimacies revived, new acquaintanceships to be strengthened, unwelcome acquaintanceships to be avoided, and so on. These cliques are by no means agreeable to the hostess, indeed, quite the contrary—but she is powerless to prevent their being formed, and she is herself sometimes drawn into one or other of them, and sometimes altogether excluded from them. Any one who is at all conversant with country-house visiting is aware how thoroughly the influence of the clique pervades the atmosphere of the drawing-room; and yet, perhaps, at country-house parties more friendships are formed and intimacies cemented than at any other gatherings.
The evening amusementsat country-house parties vary very much according to the proclivities of the hostess or those of her daughters. At some houses dancing is the order of things for a couple of hours or so after dinner, but this mode of spending the evening does not always commend itself to the gentlemen, who, after a long day's walking through wet turnips and over heavy ploughed land, or a hard day's riding over stiff fences, rather incline towards thedolce far nienteof a luxurious armchair than to the pleasures of the mazy valse, and are proportionately grateful to a hostess who does not call upon them to undergo any further exercise than what they have already gone through for their own pleasure.
In most country-house parties bridge forms the chief if not the only amusement, and is played not only afterdinner but in the afternoon also. Amateur theatricals andtableaux vivants, impromptu charades, thought reading, conjuring, etc., are fashionable amusements and easy of accomplishment: the first-named of these demands considerable study and plenty of time for rehearsal, therefore theatricals are generally engaged in when the party is composed of relatives rather than of acquaintances, and when the visit would be perhaps prolonged to ten days or a fortnight.
Some hostesses prefer keeping late hours to early hours, and do not retire until after twelve; this does not commend itself to the gentlemen, as they are not supposed to adjourn to the smoking-room until the ladies have left the drawing-room, and gentlemen like to spend a couple of hours in the smoking-room after dinner.
In hunting countiesthe breakfast is usually an early one, varying from nine o'clock to half-past nine, according to whether the ride to covert is likely to be a long or a short one; but, as a rule, the nominal breakfast hour is 9.30 o'clock. A certain amount of latitude is allowed to guests as regards coming down to breakfast; they do not assemble in the morning-room, but all make their way to the breakfast-room, and seat themselves at once at table, while many ladies breakfast in their own rooms.
In Scotland, an invitation to shootoften means a visit of three weeks. The accommodation of the shooting-box or lodge may be limited or primitive, and it is very often both of these; but it matters very little to the sportsman what sort of bed he sleeps on, or how he is made to rough it, providing the grouse are plentiful. On some of the moors there are but cottages and farmhouses for the occupation of the sportsmen, but on others the houses are excellent, and let with the moors, as many take a moor season after season and invite their friends to shoot between the 12th of Augustand October. The grand shooting parties that are annually given in Scotland by owners of large estates and fine shootings extends throughout the whole of the shooting season, and guests come and go without intermission; as one leaves another arrives. Certain houses or castles are much gayer than others; to some very few ladies are asked, the majority of the guests being gentlemen—probably the hostess and two ladies and eight men—in others, the numbers are more equal; in others, again, the party sometimes consists entirely of men with a host and no hostess. Ladies generally ask their most intimate friends to Scotland rather than acquaintances, as they are left to themselves the whole of the day, dinner being often postponed until nine o'clock, on account of the late return of the sportsmen.
South of the Tweed, September invitationsare usually given for three or four days, from Tuesday till Saturday; married couples, young ladies, and young men, are all asked, and the ladies find amusement in lawn-tennis, or in attending or assisting at some neighbouring bazaar or fancy fair, as in this month county bazaars are very popular, and the visitors at one house lend their services in conjunction with the visitors at another, to hold stalls at a bazaar got up by a third influential lady; and thus the stalls are well stocked, and the fashionable stall-holders give an impetus to the whole affair.
Ladies see very little of the gentlemen between breakfast and dinner. The shooters start about eleven, and seldom return much before seven.
When it is dark at four, those who prefer ladies' society and tea to the smoking-room and billiards, make themselves presentable and join the ladies.
As regards the Etiquette of Visiting at Bachelors' Houses.—It is thoroughly understood that ladies should be accompanied by their husbands, and youngladies by their father and mother, or by a married couple with whom they are on terms of great intimacy, in which case the married lady acts as chaperon to the young ladies. Young ladies cannot stay at the house of a bachelor unless chaperoned by a married lady, or by a female relative of their host. A widow and her daughter could of course join a party of ladies staying at a bachelor's house, or stay on a visit to him were he alone, or entertaining bachelor friends.
When a bachelor gives a country-house party, and nominally does the honours himself, occasionally one of the married ladies of the party tacitly takes the lead.
The position of a young widower is similar to that of a bachelor as regards society. Later in life, the contrary is the case; a widower with grown-up daughters gives entertainments for them, and the eldest daughter does the honours, thus reducing the position again to that of host and hostess.
Ladies in the Hunting-Field.—There is no arena better fitted to display good riding on the part of women than the hunting-field, and no better opportunity for the practice of this delightful accomplishment and for its thorough enjoyment. It is urged, however, that it argues cruelty of disposition and unwomanly feeling to join in the pursuit of a poor, miserable, hunted fox, and worse still to be in at the death, and that women are liable to be carried away by the enthusiasm of the hour to applaud and to witness what they would otherwise shrink from. This argument has a certain weight, and deters many from actually hunting who would otherwise join in the sport, and they make a compromise by regularly attending the meets, and even witnessing a throw-off of a fox-break covert. Every strong point that a rider possesses is brought out in the field. The canter in the Row, the trot through the country-lanes, or the long country ride are very feeble substitutes for the intense enjoyment experienced when taking part in a good run; the excitement felt and shared in by the whole field exhilarates and stimulates, and renders fatigue a thing out of the question, not to be thought of until the homeward ride is well over.
Considering the number of ladies who hunt, the accidents that occur are surprisingly few, for the obvious reason that ladies do not attempt to hunt unless their skill as good horsewomen is beyond all question. Their husbands,their fathers, their brothers would not allow them to jeopardise their lives, unless their riding and experience, their courage, their nerve, and their instruction justified the attempt.
There are also two other weighty considerations necessary to success—a good mount, and a good lead. The father or husband invariably selects the one, and the friend—either of the fair rider or of the husband or brother—gives the all-important lead, without which few ladies venture upon hunting, save those few who are independent enough to cut out their own work.
Ladies, who are naturally fond of riding, cannot always indulge in the pleasure of hunting, on the ground of expense, for instance. A lady may possess a fairly good horse for ordinary purposes, to ride in the Row, or for country exercise, but very few gentlemen of moderate means can afford to keep hunters for the ladies of their families as well as for themselves, although, in fiction, this is freely done. If a lady has one good hunter of her own, she may expect two days' hunting a week, providing the country is not too stiff, and the meets are fairly convenient. Occasionally, a mount may be obtained from a good-natured friend, whose stud is larger than his requirements; but this is not to be depended upon in every-day life, and popular ladies and first-rate riders are more in the way of receiving these attentions than the general run of ladies.
As regards the presence of young ladies in the hunting-field, there are two opinions respecting its advisability, apart from the question of whether it is or is not a feminine pursuit. The long ride home in the November and December twilight, in the company of some member of the hunt, who has become the young lady's cavalier for the time being, is not to the taste of many parents; chaperonage must of necessity be greatly dispensed with in the hunting-field, and this is an objection which many fathers advance against their daughters hunting.
Some husbands entertain equally strict views on this head, and are of opinion that the boldest rider and the best lead to follow in the field is not always the guest they would most desire to see at their own firesides.
Hunt-Breakfasts.—A lady should not go to a hunt-breakfast at the house of a country gentleman if unacquainted with him, or some member of his family, unless asked to do so by a mutual acquaintance. All gentlemen riding to hounds, whether strangers to the host or not, have the privilege of entering any house where a hunt-breakfast is given and accepting the hospitality offered. The breakfast, which is in reality a cold collation, with the addition of wine, liqueurs, ale, etc., is usually laid out in the dining-room, and no ceremony whatever is observed; the gentlemen come and go as they please.
The mistress of the house should either be present at a hunt-breakfast and receive the ladies who arrive in the hall or dining-room, or she should receive them in the drawing-room, where refreshments should be brought to them.
When a hostess intends riding to hounds, she is often mounted before her neighbours arrive, in which case she invites them to enter the house for refreshments, if they care to do so.
Gentlemen who go down into a Countyfor a few days' hunting only seldom wear "pink," and prefer riding to hounds in black coats.
The members of the hunt wear pink as a matter of course, but it is considered better taste for a stranger to wear a black coat than to appear in anew,very new, unspecked red one.
Sporting Terms.—Persons unversed in matters appertaining to "country life" and "country sports," town bred, and who have had little or no opportunity of acquiring a knowledge of the subject from personal experience, canhardly fail to commit many and various mistakes when brought into contact with sportsmen and their sports.
A knowledge of sporting matters and sporting terms, and the etiquette observed by sportsmen, is only arrived at by associating with those thoroughly conversant with the subject, and with whom "sport" has formed part of their education so to speak.
The Shooting Season commenceson the 12th of August with grouse shooting in the north of England, Scotland, and Ireland. Partridge shooting commences on the 1st of September and terminates on the 1st of February.
The finest partridge shooting is allowed by general consent to be found in the eastern counties.
Partridge driving does not take place until January to any great extent.
Pheasant Shootingcommences the 1st of October and terminates the 1st of February.
Haresmay be shot up to the 1st of March.
Rabbitsmay be shot all the year round.
Rooksare shot during the spring and summer.
It is difficult to make a would-be sportsman comprehend the strict etiquette maintained between the owners of manors; that is to say, he would think nothing of crossing the boundary of his host's manor, "gun in hand," if he felt inclined to follow a bird or hare he had wounded, oblivious of the fact that, in the first place, the greatest punctiliousness is observed between gentlemen in the matter of trespassing on each other's land when out shooting; and, that unless the greatest intimacy existed, a sportsman would hardly venture to pick up his dead bird if it had fallen on aneighbour's manor, and would on no account look for a wounded bird, but for a dead one only. In the second place he would carefully observe the rule of leaving his gun on his own side of the boundary, and would certainly not carry it with him to his neighbour's land. These are points that strangers invited for a few days' shooting very often fall foul of, creating thereby much unpleasantness for their host through their ignorance and inexperience.
When a gentleman is invited to joina shooting-party, it would not be necessary for him to take a loader with him, as his host would find a man to perform that office for him, unless he had a servant with him capable of performing that duty; but if he were residing in the neighbourhood he would, as a matter of course, take his loader with him when asked to join a shooting-party, and in both cases he would shoot with two guns, as to shoot with one gun only causes a vexatious delay.
A frequent cause of offence to sportsmen is for a gentleman to be noisy when out shooting, that is to say, to be "loudly talkative," or "boisterously merry," or given to indulge in exclamations when a bird rises, or when a bird is missed; your true sportsman maintains a strict silence.
There are numberless other points relating to field sports wherein the "inexperienced sportsman" is apt to give offence, but which would take up too much space to enter into in a work of this description.
The Fees, or Tips to the Gamekeepers, vary from 10s.to £5, according to the number of days' shooting enjoyed or the extent of the bag.
For one day's partridge-shooting the tip to the head gamekeeper would be a sovereign; for a good day's pheasant-shooting, as much as two sovereigns would probably be given. A gentleman who does not tip or fee upto this mark is not likely to find himself too well placed in a battue.
The cost of a game licence is £3, and lasts twelve months, from 1st August to the 31st of July the following year, or £2 from the 1st of August to the 31st of October, or £2 from the 1st of November to the 31st of July in the following year, or £1 for fourteen days.
Theetiquette with regard to shaking hands is not an open question, it is distinct enough and simple enough for all exigencies, but yet there is individual temperament to be taken into account which in many drives etiquette out of the field, if by etiquette is understood not merely stiff propriety of action, but politeness in the truest sense of the word, and doing that which is exactly the right thing to do. Etiquette rules when to shake hands and when not to do so, when to bow and when not to bow; but in spite of this knowledge, which is within every one's reach, there are many mistakes made on this head.
For instance, one does not offer to shake hands when expected to do so; another offers to shake hands three times; one displays unwarrantable warmth in shaking hands; another extends two fingers only; one shakes hands in a limp and uncomfortable manner, and takes the extended hand merely to drop it; another literally pumps the extended hand, or crushes the rings into a lady's fingers when shaking hands with her.
A lady who does not shake handswhen expected to do so is actuated by one or other of the following reasons—she did not wish to shake hands with a certain acquaintance, and preferred to bow only, or she was not aware whether she should have shaken hands or not.
The gentlemen who shake hands with great warmth andempressementare two distinct individuals; the one iscordial and large-hearted, and has a friendly grasp for every one—a grasp indicative of kindliness, geniality, and good fellowship—the other wishes to ingratiate himself in certain quarters, and loses no opportunity of demonstratively shaking hands, but no one is deceived by this spurious imitation of the real thing.
When a lady gives but two fingersto people whom she does not care about, she is always a person who fancies herself, and who feels very fine; she doubtless is, but her good breeding and her good feeling are both in question when she takes this method of showing the superiority of herself and her position over that of other people.
There are other eccentricities indulged in by different people who shake hands when they should not, and people who do not shake hands when they should.
It depends upon whom a lady is introduced to, or upon who is introduced to her, whether she should or should not shake hands. She should not shake hands on being casually introduced to a person altogether a stranger to her; but yet there are so many occasions when it is both proper and correct to shake hands on being introduced, that the rule on this head is a very elastic one.
For instance, a host and hostess should shake hands with every stranger introduced to them at their house.
A lady should shake hands on being introduced to the relations of her intended husband.
A lady should shake hands on being introduced to the friend of an intimate friend.
When a lady has entered into conversation to any extent with some one to whom she has been introduced, and finds she has much in common with her, she should shake hands on taking leave; but if she has only exchanged a few commonplace sentences, a bow would be all that is necessary.
A lady usually takes the initiative with regard to shaking hands as with bowing; but in reality it is a spontaneousmovement, made by both lady and gentleman at the same moment, as the hand ought not to be extended or the bow given unless expected and instantaneously reciprocated.
A young lady should not offer to shake hands with one not expectant of the honour.
Shaking hands on taking leave is, with some few people, a graceful and pleasant fashion of saying good-bye; intimate friends hold the hand while the last words are being said. Women hold each other's hands thus on parting, and some few men take each other's hands; but with them it is rather a foreign fashion, and is principally followed by those who have lived much on the Continent; for, as a rule, an Englishman prefers the hearty English shake of the hand.
A lady having once shaken hands with another, should continue to do so at subsequent meetings, unless a coolness of manner warns her that a bow would be more acceptable.
With regard to shaking hands at a dinner-party with acquaintances: if the dinner-party is a small one, and there is time to shake hands, it is correct to do so; but when there is little time before dinner, and no good opportunity for shaking hands, bows to acquaintances at distant parts of the room, or when seated at the dinner-table, are sufficient recognition for the time being.
At an evening-party it depends upon opportunity whether acquaintances shake hands or not.
The fashion of raising the armwhen shaking hands is followed by very few in the exaggerated style in which it was first introduced, but a modification of it has distinctly become the fashion in general society.
The hand, instead of being extended straight out, is now offered on a line or parallel with the chest, a trifle higher than the old-fashioned style, and the fingers of the hand are held and gently shaken, but the palm is not grasped or even touched.
Anunmarried lady, unless she be a maiden-lady of a recognised age and standing, cannot act as an orthodox chaperon; but, on the other hand, a young married lady could do so with the greatest propriety, as could a brother from the age of eighteen; of other relatives it is not necessary to speak.
Young ladies are now frequently asked to dinner-parties without a chaperon, a hostess constituting herself chaperon for the occasion. Dances are also given to which it is understood chaperons arenotinvited, the hostess again acting in that capacity, but at large balls and dances chaperonage is considered indispensable for young ladies. At theatres and evening concerts chaperonage is distinctly required; but at morning concerts andmatinées, companionship rather than chaperonage is needed.
As regards morning hours. Young ladies may now walk together in the Park and elsewhere; ride together, attend classes together or alone, go to luncheon or afternoon tea alone or together at the houses of friends and acquaintances, quite unaccompanied by a chaperon. They may also visit at country houses without a chaperon, the hostess performing this duty.
At all out-door gatherings, such as garden-parties, tennis-parties, cricket-matches, golf-meetings, etc., the chaperonage required is of the slightest, and for which any might be made available.
TheDrawing-rooms at Dublin Castle are held by the Lord-Lieutenant of Ireland and his wife, in St. Patrick's Hall, at 10.15 o'clock p.m.
A Lady who desiresa presentation at the Viceregal Court must be presented by a lady who has herself been presented thereat, and it is necessary that she herself should be present on the occasion, save under exceptional circumstances. A lady is not allowed to present more thantwoladies, except in special cases to be sanctioned by His Excellency.
A Lady who proposes being presentedat a Viceregal Drawing-room must send to the Chamberlain's office by five o'clock, three days previous to the Drawing-room, a card with her name and address both in town and country, and the name and address of the lady by whom she is to be presented distinctly written thereon, and stating which Drawing-room she wishes to attend, to be submitted to the Lord-Lieutenant and his wife for their Excellencies' approval. Also two Presentation Cards must be obtained at the Chamberlain's office two days before the Drawing-room—if they have not previously been sent by post—and must be filled in with the necessary particulars, and taken to the Castle on the evening of the Drawing-room, one to be delivered to the official stationed in the Corridor, and theother to be handed to the Chamberlain, who will announce the name. It is requested that the names may be very distinctly written upon the cards, that there may be no difficulty in announcing them.
A Lady attendinga Viceregal Drawing-room, who has been already presented at the Viceregal Court, must leave at the Chamberlain's office, three days previous to the Drawing-room, a card with her name and address, both in town and country, distinctly written thereon, and stating which Drawing-room she wishes to attend. She must bring with her two similar cards on the evening of the Drawing-room, one to be given to the official in the Corridor, and the other to the Chamberlain, who will announce the name.
A lady on entering the Castle on the evening of a Drawing-room towards ten o'clock, finds the hall lined with soldiers, and repairs at once to the cloak-room to leave wraps, etc., and to have her train dexterously arranged over one arm by a female attendant. She then proceeds up the grand staircase, lined with servants in gorgeous liveries, and enters the Corridor, where one of the Presentation Cards is given up to the official in attendance, and she passes down the Corridor into the Long Drawing-room, where a barrier of wood, enclosing a space, is erected at the end. One of the gentlemen of the Household lifts this barrier at intervals to allow of a certain number passing through to the Throne-room, at the door of which her train is let down and arranged by men-servants. If she is to be "presented," the Chamberlain tells her to take off her right-hand glove, and, if royalty is present, informs her that she must make three bows, and says, "Three bows, please." She gives up her second Presentation Card to him, and he calls out her name, and it is passed along to His Excellency by the gentlemen of the household. The Lord-Lieutenant and his wife stand on a daïs, he standing in front of the Throne, which is a grand chair of State, and on either side—inwhat are known as the "Pens"—are grouped the visitors staying at the Castle, those who have the privateentrée, and the members of the Household. The name of the lady who makes the presentation is also called out. The lady presented advances, the Lord-Lieutenant shakes hands with her, but does not now kiss her on the cheek; she then makes him a bow, and bows to his wife, who bows in return. She then retires back to the door leading into the Long Drawing-room, where her train is replaced over her arm. She then proceeds to St. Patrick's Hall, or to the Picture Gallery.
Ladies who attendthe Drawing-room only bow to the Lord-Lieutenant and his wife; he bows to them, but he does not shake hands with them or kiss them. In Ireland men invariably accompany their wives to the Drawing-room, having previously attended the Levée; they pass along the base of the semi-circle, and make their bows at the same time as do the ladies.
When all have been received and have assembled in St. Patrick's Hall, a procession is formed, the Lord-Lieutenant walking first, followed by his wife, whose train is carried by pages. The visitors staying at the Castle follow next, and then the members of the Household, the band stationed in the gallery playing "God Save the King" the while. All those present form up in two lines to make a passage for the procession to pass through, and bow low to His Excellency and his wife as they pass.
A supper is not given, only light refreshments of every description. These refreshments are arranged on long tables on one side of St. Patrick's Hall, and at the lower end, under the gallery, tables are placed for tea, coffee, wine, etc. On the opposite side of the hall red-cushioned seats are placed, and the company promenade in and around the Picture Gallery and St. Patrick's Hall during the remainder of the evening.
Ladies wear full Court dress as at Buckingham Palace, and gentlemen uniform or Court dress.
Levées.—Every nobleman or gentleman who proposes to attend a Levée, and who has not yet been received at the Viceregal Court, must be introduced by a nobleman or gentleman who has himself been previously presented thereat.
A Gentleman who proposesto be presented must send to the Gentleman Usher's office by five o'clock, two or three days before the Levée, a card with his name and address, both in town and country, and the name and address of the gentleman by whom he is to be presented distinctly written thereon, to be submitted for the Lord-Lieutenant's approval. He must also obtain two Presentation Cards from the Gentleman Usher's office, and must take them to the Castle on the day of the Levée, the one to be given to the official in the Corridor, and the other to be handed to the Gentleman Usher, who will announce the name to the Lord-Lieutenant.
Any gentleman who proposes to attend a Levée, having been previously presented, must also take two cards with him to the Castle on the day of the Levée, with his name and address, both in town and country, clearly written thereon, to be given up as before mentioned. Again, a gentleman who, having previously attended the Levée, proposes attending the Drawing-room, is requested to bring with himonecard, with his name distinctly written upon it, to be left in the Corridor. All those entitled to the privateentréeat Dublin Castle, and availing themselves of the privilege, are permitted to be accompanied only by their wives and unmarried daughters.
Gentlemen wear Court dress or naval and military uniforms, or the uniforms of Lords-Lieutenants of Counties, or of the Royal Irish Constabulary, etc. The Academicalhabit cannot be worn except when presenting an address from a university. Foreign orders and decorations cannot be worn at the Court of Dublin by British subjects without special authority under His Majesty's royal licence.
The right-hand glove should be removed before Presentation.
Gentlemen who, having previously attended the Levée, are desirous of accompanying the ladies of their families to the Drawing-room, are requested to apply to the Chamberlain's office for an Attendance Card, which should be brought to the Castle on the evening of the Drawing-room and given up in the Corridor.
Presentations in London do not count as Presentations at the Viceregal Court.
The Art of receiving Guestsis a very subtle one, difficult to acquire; but when acquired and thoroughly mastered it confers upon a mistress of a house an enviable reputation—that of being a perfect hostess.
With some this is in-bred, and grace and composure and all the attendant attributes which are to be found in this type of hostess sit naturally upon them; but the individuals so gifted represent the few rather than the many. A far greater section of society has to rely upon experience to teach them this useful accomplishment, while with others time alone can aid them in overcoming natural reserve, and want of confidence in themselves, which stand in the way of their assuming this character with anything like success. Those ladies who are innately thoughtless and careless in this respect, neither time nor experience can mould, and what they are at the commencement of their career, they remain to the end of the chapter—very indifferent hostesses. There are varieties of hostesses, according to individual capabilities, and who are known amongst their friends by these appellations: first ranks the perfect or "charming hostess," either title suits her equally well; next to her comes the "good hostess," she is followed by the one who is "not a good hostess"; and the rear is brought up by the one who is decidedly "a bad hostess." Amongst the salient points which distinguish the perfect or charming hostess are perhaps, foremost, a certain facilityof putting each individual guest at ease, conveying that the welcome she accords is a personal if not an especial one. Simultaneously with these agreeable impressions is conveyed a sense of the hostess's genial qualities; her charm of manner, her graciousness and her courteous bearing evincing so plainly that she is entirely mistress of the situation: these qualities insensibly react upon the guests, and evoke a corresponding desire to please on their part.
The perfect hostesspossesses yet another advantage, viz. a readiness of speech, a faculty of saying the right thing at the right moment and to the right person, and of identifying herself, so to speak, with the susceptibilities of each of her guests.
The good hostessis essentially what is known as a considerate hostess; she makes up for the brighter qualities in which she is lacking by her extreme consideration for her guests. In the charming hostess this consideration is eclipsed by her more brilliant powers of pleasing, it permeates all she does, while in the good hostess it is her strongest point, and upon which is founded her claim to the name. The lady who bears the undesirable reputation of being "not a good hostess" is not "good" in a variety of ways; she means well and does her utmost to succeed, but by some contrariety of the laws which regulate domestic and social affairs, the results of her efforts are always the reverse of what she would have them be. The lady who is not a good hostess sometimes suffers from shyness and reserve which renders her stiff in manner when she would most desire to be cordial, silent when she would be most loquacious, and awkward when she would be at ease.
As there are many reasons why ladies prove to be good hostesses, so there are many reasons why they prove badhostesses, selfishness and want of consideration for others contribute to these, as do procrastination and a vague idea of the value of time. Ladies with such faults and weaknesses as these produce very much the same impression upon their guests, although, perhaps, one is a little less culpable than is the other.
The selfish hostess is a bad hostess, because, providing she is amused, she is utterly indifferent as to whether her guests are amused or not, her own pleasure and gratification being of paramount importance. Instead of being in readiness to receive her guests she descends late to the drawing-room to welcome them, and is indifferent as to whether there is any one to greet them or not.
The procrastinating hostess, although she is equally in fault, yet, as she hastens to excuse herself, when lacking in politeness to, or consideration for her guests, her excuses are sometimes admitted; but the selfish hostess, if she deigns to excuse herself, does so with such a palpable show of indifference as to her guests' opinion of her actions, that the excuse is oftener than not an aggravation of the offence. A lady who has no regard for time goes to her room to dress at the moment when she should be descending to the drawing-room; or she remains out driving when she should be returning; or she puts off making some very important arrangement for the comfort or amusement of her guests until it is too late for anything but a makeshift to be thought of, if it has not to be dispensed with altogether. Everything that she does or projects is on the same scale of procrastination; her invitations, her orders and engagements, are one and all effected against time, and neither herself nor her guests gain the value or satisfaction of the hospitality put forth. The bad hostess walks into her drawing-room when many of her guests are assembled, either for a dinner-party or afternoon tea, and shakeshands in an awkward, abashed manner, almost as if she were an unexpected guest instead of the mistress of the house.
The host is not at his ease; he is provoked at having to make excuses for his wife, and the guests are equally constrained.
If the host is of a sarcastic turn of mind, he never refrains from saying something the reverse of amiable to the hostess on her entrance. "My dear," he will perhaps remark, "you are doubtless not aware that we have friends dining with us this evening." This remark renders the guests even more uncomfortable and the hostess less self-possessed, and this is often the prelude to an inharmonious evening, with a host whose brow is clouded and a hostess whose manner is abashed.
The mode of receiving guestsis determined by the nature of the entertainment. A welcome accorded to some two or three hundred guests cannot be as personal a one as that offered to some ten to thirty guests.
Whatever disappointment a hostess may feel she should not allow it to appear on the surface, and should not bedistraitin manner when shaking hands with her guests. At large or small gatherings disappointments follow in the course of events, and very few hostesses can say that they have not experienced this in a larger or smaller degree at each and all of their entertainments.
At a ball or evening-partya hostess should receive her guests at the head of the staircase, and should remain there until the majority, if not all, of the guests have arrived.
As the names of the guests are announced the hostess should shake hands with each, addressing some courteous observation the while, not with a view of inducing them to linger on the staircase, but rather of inviting them to enter the ball-room to make way for other guests.
At a ball given at a country house the hostess should stand at the door of the ball-room and receive her guests. When the guests have duly arrived, a hostess at a country-house ball or country-house theatricals should exert herself to see that all her guests are amused. If she sees that the young ladies are not dancing she should endeavour to find them partners. In town she is not required to do this. If the chaperons have apparently no one to talk to she should introduce one of her own relatives, if she cannot give much of her own attention to them, and she should arrange that all her guests are taken in to supper.
At large afternoon "at homes"the hostess receives her guests at the open door of the drawing-room, and has little more time to bestow upon each than at a ball or an "at home." At small afternoon "at homes" she should receive them in the drawing-room, and should rise and shake hands with each arrival.
A hostess should receive her dinner guests in the drawing-room, and should shake hands with each in the order of arrival. She occasionally finds it a trying ordeal to sustain conversation between the arrival of dinner guests and the dinner being served; sometimes this is prolonged for three-quarters of an hour through the non-appearance of a guest who must be waited for. A hostess should, although she knows that her dinner is spoilt by being thus kept back, endeavour to make the time pass as pleasantly as possible, by rendering the conversation general and by making the guests acquainted with each other. The hostess who can tide over these awkward occurrences so that the postponement of dinner from half to three-quarters of an hour is hardly perceived, proves herself to be entitled to be considered a good hostess.
Ladies are frequently solicitedto allow their names to be placed on the lists of lady patronesses of charity balls. A ball committee is desirous of obtaining a list of influential names to lendéclatand prestige to the ball, and a charity ball often numbers amongst its lady patronesses the names of many of the leading members of the nobility, followed by those of the wives of the leading county gentry, or by the principal residents of a watering-place or county town; but it is understood, as a rule, that the duty of giving vouchers or tickets for a charity ball is undertaken by those ladies who are more directly interested in it, whose husbands are on the committee, who make a point of annually attending it, and thus are principally concerned in keeping it select; and although in many counties and in many towns lady patronesses, members of the nobility, do attend, yet it not unfrequently happens that out of a long list of great ladies only three or four are present at a ball.
The members of the leading nobility and gentry of a neighbourhood invariably lend their names to local charity balls, and head the list of patrons and patronesses, but beyond lending their names, and in some cases sending a subscription of money towards the funds of the charity, or a present of game towards the supper, they have very little to do with the ball itself, which is practically in the handsof the local stewards. The exceptions to this rule are the charity balls held in town during the season, such as the Royal Caledonian Ball, the Yorkshire, the Wiltshire, and the Somersetshire Societies' Balls. On these occasions many of the great ladies give vouchers and attend the balls.
When ladies consent to become lady patronesses of a ball, they usually notify to the committee whether they will or will not undertake the duty of giving vouchers or tickets, as the case may be. Some ball committees arrange that vouchers are to be given by lady patronesses, to be subsequently exchanged for tickets, signed and filled in with the name of the person to whom the ticket is given. The lady patronesses in this case receive the money charged for the tickets, and forward it to the committee after the ball, with any tickets that they may not have disposed of.
The ladies who exert themselves to sell tickets are generally those who possess a large acquaintance, whose husbands are members of clubs; therefore, if any person ought to be tabooed for some good social reason, the lady patronesses reap the benefit of their husbands' knowledge, and are thus able to give a polite refusal when tickets are applied for for persons who are not altogether desirable.
It is no doubt a difficult and delicate task for the lady patronesses of a large ball to keep it thoroughly select, and if not very particular respecting those for whom tickets are granted, a ball, though a full one, is likely to prove a very mixed affair, if not somewhat objectionable, by reason of the presence of persons to whom tickets should never have been granted, on moral if not on social grounds; and though the funds of a charity may gain considerably by the increase of numbers, through a general willingness on the part of the committee or the lady patronesses to grant tickets to every one who may apply for them, yet such policy is very short-sighted, and is seldom practised bythose who possess any practical knowledge in the matter, as it is fatal to the reputation of a ball if persons who are objectionable are present at it.
In the case of a ticket being applied for for a person of doubtful antecedents, a lady patroness's best course is to refer the applicant to the ball committee for tickets or vouchers.
Persons not well received in society, or who have ostracised themselves, have a predilection for public balls, and make every effort to obtain tickets of admission; and in some cases, when a refusal has been pronounced by the committee of a ball, the committee has been threatened with legal proceedings.
Unmarried ladies seldom or ever act as lady patronesses, it not being considered advisable to place the discretion of granting tickets in their hands, lest their ignorance of the world should be taken advantage of.
The lady patronesses of a charity ballwho undertake to give vouchers or to sell tickets, usually exert themselves to the utmost in inducing as many of their friends as possible to attend the ball.
It depends upon the committee of a charity ball whether tickets are presented or not to the lady patronesses and stewards; but if the funds of the charity are not at a very low ebb, this is generally done in recognition of their services.
The responsibilities of lady patronesses of private subscription balls are light in comparison with those of public charity balls, as persons who attend subscription balls are usually on the visiting lists of one or other of the lady patronesses, while with regard to county balls, lady patronesses are not usually concerned in the disposal of the tickets.
The Various Periods of Mourningfor relatives have within the last few years been materially shortened, and the change generally accepted; but as some still prefer to adhere to the longest periods prescribed by custom, in the present chapter both periods are given, and it entirely depends upon individual feeling and circumstances which of the two periods is observed.
The time-honoured custom of wearing crape has greatly declined, and with the exception of widows, many do not wear it at all, while others wear it as a trimming only.
A slighter change has also taken place in favour of half-mourning colours, which are now more worn than black and white during the half-mourning period.
Court Mourningwhen enjoined is imperative, the orders respecting which are minutely given from the Lord Chamberlain's office and published in the officialGazette; but these orders only apply to persons connected with the Court, or to persons attending Courts, Levées, State Balls, State Concerts, etc.
When the order for general mourning is given on the death of any member of the Royal Family, the order applies to all, although it is optional whether the general public comply with it or not.
The Longest Period for a Widow's Mourningis two years. The shorter period is eighteen months.Formerly crape was worn for one year and nine months; for the first twelve months the dress was entirely covered with crape. The newer fashion in widows' mourning is to wear crape as a trimming only, and to discontinue its wear after six or eight months, while some few widows do not wear it at all during their mourning, it being optional wear.
Half-Mourningin the longer period commences after a year and nine months, and is worn for three months. In the shorter period half-mourning may commence after fifteen months, and be continued for three months.
The period for wearing the widow's cap and veil is a year and a day. The veil may becrêpe lisseorchiffonin place of crape. It is now the fashion for young widows to wear the cap as a head-dress only, while others do not wear it at all.
Lawn cuffs and collars are worn during the first year, or for six months only, or not at all. After the first year white neckbands and white strings to the bonnet may be worn. Also hats in place of bonnets. Further touches of white may follow during the next three months.
After a year gold ornaments may be worn; diamonds earlier.
Widowersshould wear mourning for one year; they usually enter society after three months.
For a Parentthe period of mourning is twelve months; ten months black, two months half-mourning, or eight months black and four months half-mourning. The black may be relieved with touches of white after three months. Crape is optional; many prefer not to wear it at all, others as a trimming.
Diamonds—earrings, brooches; etc.—before gold, at the end of three months.
For a Son or Daughterthe period of mourning is identical with the foregoing.
For very Young Children or Infantsthe mourning is frequently shortened by half this period, or even to three months.
For a Stepmother.—The period of mourning depends upon whether the stepdaughters reside at home or not, or whether their father has been long married, or whether their father's second wife has filled the place of mother to them, in which case the period of mourning would be for twelve months, otherwise the period is six months—four months black relieved with touches of white after two months, followed by two months half-mourning.
For a Brother or Sisterthe longest period of mourning is six months, the shortest period four months.
During the longest period, viz. six months, black should be worn for five months, with a little white after two months, half-mourning for one month. After one month diamonds, pins, and brooches, etc.; gold after two months.
During the shortest period, viz. four months, black should be worn for two months, half-mourning two months.
For a Sister-in-law or a Brother-in-lawthe period of mourning was formerly the same as for a brother or sister, but the four months' period is now the one usually chosen.
For a Grandparentthe longest period of mourning is six months, the shortest four months.
During the longest period black should be worn for three months, relieved with white after six weeks, half-mourning for three months; diamonds after one month, gold after six weeks or two months.
During the shortest period black should be worn for two months, half-mourning for two months.
The custom of wearing crape may now be said to have gone out of fashion as regards etiquette, black being considered adequate mourning, save in the case of widows.
The former crape periods were six months for parents and children, three months for brothers and sisters, three months for grandparents.
For an Uncle or Auntthe longest period of mourning is three months, the shortest period six weeks.
During the longest period black (no crape) should be worn for two months, half-mourning one month.
During the shortest period black for three weeks, half-mourning for three weeks; diamonds after three weeks.
For a Nephew or Niecethe periods of mourning are identical with the foregoing.
For an Uncle or Aunt by Marriagethe period is six weeks black, or three weeks black and three weeks half-mourning.
For a Great Uncle or Auntthe longest period is two months, the shortest one month.
During the longest period black for one month, half-mourning for one month.
During the shortest period black for one month.
For a First Cousinthe longest period is six weeks, the shortest one month.
During the longest period black for three weeks, half-mourning for three weeks.
During the shortest period black for one month.
For a Second Cousinthree weeks black. Mourning for a second cousin is not obligatory, but quite optional, and often not worn.
For a Husband's Relationsthe periods of mourning chosen are invariably the shorter ones.
For a Daughter-in-law or Son-in-lawthe periods are now shortened to six months; four months black and two months half-mourning, or three months black and three months half-mourning.
For the Parents of a Son-in-law or Daughter-in-lawthe period is one month, black.
For the Parents of a First Wifea second wife should wear mourning for one month, black relieved with white.
For a Brother or Sister of a First Wifea second wife should wear mourning for three weeks, but this is not obligatory, and depends upon the intimacy existing between the two families.
Much Latitude is allowed to Menwith regard to the foregoing periods of mourning.
A Hat-band should be wornduring the whole of each period, but it is not imperative to wear suits of black longer than half the periods given, save in the case of widowers.
Servants' Mourning.—It is customary to give servants mourning on the death of the head of the house, which should be worn during the period the members of the familyare in mourning. Mourning given to servants on the death of a son or daughter is quite an optional matter.
Seclusion from Society.—The question as to how soon persons in mourning should or should not re-enter society is in some measure an open one, and is also influenced by the rules that govern the actual period of mourning adopted.
A Widow is not expected to enter into Societyunder three months, and during that time she should neither accept invitations nor issue them. Her visiting should be confined to her relations and intimate friends. After three months she should commence gradually to enter into society, but balls and dances should be avoided during the first year.
For a Daughter mourning for a Parentthe period of seclusion is six weeks as far as general society is concerned; but invitations to balls and dances should not be accepted until after six months.
For a Parent mourning for a Son or Daughterthe period of seclusion is the same as is that of a daughter for a parent.
For a Brother or Sisterthe period of seclusion is three weeks.
For Grandparentsthe period of seclusion is from a fortnight to three weeks.
For an Uncle or Auntthe period is a fortnight to three weeks.
For all Other Periods of Mourningseclusion from society is not considered requisite.
When Persons in Mourningintend entering again into society, they should leave cards on their friends and acquaintances as an intimation that they are equal to paying and receiving calls.
When Cards of Inquiry have been left, viz. visiting cards with "To inquire after Mrs. A——" written on the top on right-hand corner of the cards, they should be returned by cards with "Thanks for kind inquiries" written upon them (seeChapter III.).
Until this intimation has been given, society does not venture to intrude upon the seclusion of those in mourning.
Relations and intimate friends are exempt from this received rule.
Funerals.—When a death occurs in a family, as soon as the day and hour for the funeral are fixed, a member of the family should write to those relatives and friends it is desired should follow, and should ask them to attend, unless the date, time, and place of the funeral, and the train by which to travel to the cemetery, are mentioned in the newspaper, together with the announcement of the death.
It is a Mistake to suppose that Friendswill offer to attend a funeral, even if they are aware of the date fixed, as they are naturally in doubt as to whether the mourners are to include the members of the family only, or whether friends are to be included also.
In the Country, when a Doctorhas attended a family for some years, it is usual to invite him to attend the funeral of one of its members. In town this is seldom done, unless a medical man is the intimate friend of the family.
In the country the clergyman of the parish reads the funeral service, but in town, when the funeral takes place at Kensal Green, Brookwood Cemetery, or elsewhere, afriend of the family is usually asked to officiate; in which case it is necessary to make an early application at the office of the cemetery for the use of the chapel at a particular hour.
It is customary for Ladies to attendthe funeral of a relative if disposed to do so, in which case they wear their usual mourning attire, and follow in their own carriages.
The Doctor's Certificateas to the cause of death is of primary importance, and should be obtained at the earliest possible moment.
Memorial Cards should not be senton the death of a relative, being quite out of date as regards fashion and custom.
Wreaths and Crossesof white flowers are very generally sent by relatives and friends to a house of mourning the day of the funeral, unless "No flowers, by request" follows the announcement of the death.
When the funeral takes place before two o'clock, the friends should be invited to luncheon. When it takes place in the afternoon, they should be asked to return to the house for tea or light refreshment.