A CELEBRATED COMIC RECITATION.
A monsieur from the Gallic shore,Who, though not over-rich, wished to appear so,Came over in a ship with friends a score—Poor emigrants, whose wealth, good lack!Dwelt only on their ragged backs—Who thought him rich: they'd heardhimoft declare so,For he was proud as Satan's self,And often bragged about his pelf;And as a proof—the leastThat he could give—he promised when on land,At the first inn, in style so grand,To givea feast!The Frenchmen jumped at such an offer.Monsieur did not forget his proffer;But at the first hotel on shore,They stopped to lodge and board.The Frenchman ordered in his wayA dinner to be done that day;But here occurred a grievous bore:—Monsieur of English knew but little.Tapps of French knew not a tittle.In ordering dinner, therefore, 'tis no wonderThat they should make a blunder.Whether the landlord knew, or no,The sequel of my tale will show.He blundered, and it cannot be denied,To some small disadvantage on his side.The order seemed immense to Boniface:But more the expense, to him the greater fun;For all that from the order he could trace,Was,—"Messieur Bull, you lettee me have, I say,Vich for vid cash, I sal you pay,Fifteen of those vid vich the sheep do run!"From which old Tapps could only understand(But whether right or wrong, cared not a button),That what monsieur desired, with air so grand,Was fifteen legs of mutton!"A dinner most enormous!" cried the elf."Zounds! each must eat a leg, near, to himself!"However, they seemed a set of hungry curs;And so, without more bother or demurs,Tapps to his cook his orders soon expressed,And fifteen legs of mutton quick were dressed.And now around the table all elate,The Frenchman's friends the dinner doth await.Joy sparkled in each hungry urchin's eyes,When they beheld, with glad surprise,Tapps quick appear with leg of mutton hot,Smoking, and just ejected from the pot!Laughed, stared, and chuckled more and more,Whentwothey saw, thenthree, thenfour!And then afifththeir eager glances blessed,And then asixth, larger than all the rest!But soon the Frenchman's countenance did change,To see the legs of mutton on the table.Surprise and rage by turnsIn his face burns,While Tapps the table did arrangeAs nice as he was able.And while the Frenchmen for the feast prepared,Thus, in a voice that quite the landlord scared,Our hero said,—"Mon Dieu, monsieur! vy for you makeDis vera great blundare and mistake?Vy for you bring to me dese mouton legs?"Tapps with a bow his pardon begs:—"I've done as you have ordered, sir," said he."Did you not orderfifteen legsof me?Sixof which before your eyes appear,Andnine besidesare nearly done down-stair!Here, John!"—"Go, hang you, Jean! you fool! you ass!You one great clown to bring me to dis pass:Take vay dis meat, for vich I sall no pay.I did no order dat."—"What's that you say?"Tapps answered with a frown and with a stare,"You ordered fifteen legs of me, I'll swear,Orfifteen things with which the sheep do run,Whichmeans the same:—I'm not so easy done.""Parbleu, monsieur! vy you no comprehend?You may take back de legs unto de pot:I telle you, sare, 'tis not de legs I vant,Butdese here leetel tings vid vich de sheep do trot!""Why, hang it!" cried the landlord in a rage,Which monsieur vainly tried to assuage,"Hang it!" said he, as to the door he totters:"Now, after all the trouble that I took,These legs of mutton both to buy and cook,It seems instead offifteen legs,You merely wanted fifteen poor sheep's trotters!"
A monsieur from the Gallic shore,Who, though not over-rich, wished to appear so,Came over in a ship with friends a score—Poor emigrants, whose wealth, good lack!Dwelt only on their ragged backs—Who thought him rich: they'd heardhimoft declare so,For he was proud as Satan's self,And often bragged about his pelf;And as a proof—the leastThat he could give—he promised when on land,At the first inn, in style so grand,To givea feast!The Frenchmen jumped at such an offer.Monsieur did not forget his proffer;But at the first hotel on shore,They stopped to lodge and board.The Frenchman ordered in his wayA dinner to be done that day;But here occurred a grievous bore:—Monsieur of English knew but little.Tapps of French knew not a tittle.In ordering dinner, therefore, 'tis no wonderThat they should make a blunder.Whether the landlord knew, or no,The sequel of my tale will show.He blundered, and it cannot be denied,To some small disadvantage on his side.The order seemed immense to Boniface:But more the expense, to him the greater fun;For all that from the order he could trace,Was,—"Messieur Bull, you lettee me have, I say,Vich for vid cash, I sal you pay,Fifteen of those vid vich the sheep do run!"From which old Tapps could only understand(But whether right or wrong, cared not a button),That what monsieur desired, with air so grand,Was fifteen legs of mutton!"A dinner most enormous!" cried the elf."Zounds! each must eat a leg, near, to himself!"However, they seemed a set of hungry curs;And so, without more bother or demurs,Tapps to his cook his orders soon expressed,And fifteen legs of mutton quick were dressed.And now around the table all elate,The Frenchman's friends the dinner doth await.Joy sparkled in each hungry urchin's eyes,When they beheld, with glad surprise,Tapps quick appear with leg of mutton hot,Smoking, and just ejected from the pot!Laughed, stared, and chuckled more and more,Whentwothey saw, thenthree, thenfour!And then afifththeir eager glances blessed,And then asixth, larger than all the rest!But soon the Frenchman's countenance did change,To see the legs of mutton on the table.Surprise and rage by turnsIn his face burns,While Tapps the table did arrangeAs nice as he was able.And while the Frenchmen for the feast prepared,Thus, in a voice that quite the landlord scared,Our hero said,—"Mon Dieu, monsieur! vy for you makeDis vera great blundare and mistake?Vy for you bring to me dese mouton legs?"Tapps with a bow his pardon begs:—"I've done as you have ordered, sir," said he."Did you not orderfifteen legsof me?Sixof which before your eyes appear,Andnine besidesare nearly done down-stair!Here, John!"—"Go, hang you, Jean! you fool! you ass!You one great clown to bring me to dis pass:Take vay dis meat, for vich I sall no pay.I did no order dat."—"What's that you say?"Tapps answered with a frown and with a stare,"You ordered fifteen legs of me, I'll swear,Orfifteen things with which the sheep do run,Whichmeans the same:—I'm not so easy done.""Parbleu, monsieur! vy you no comprehend?You may take back de legs unto de pot:I telle you, sare, 'tis not de legs I vant,Butdese here leetel tings vid vich de sheep do trot!""Why, hang it!" cried the landlord in a rage,Which monsieur vainly tried to assuage,"Hang it!" said he, as to the door he totters:"Now, after all the trouble that I took,These legs of mutton both to buy and cook,It seems instead offifteen legs,You merely wanted fifteen poor sheep's trotters!"
A monsieur from the Gallic shore,Who, though not over-rich, wished to appear so,Came over in a ship with friends a score—Poor emigrants, whose wealth, good lack!Dwelt only on their ragged backs—Who thought him rich: they'd heardhimoft declare so,For he was proud as Satan's self,And often bragged about his pelf;And as a proof—the leastThat he could give—he promised when on land,At the first inn, in style so grand,To givea feast!The Frenchmen jumped at such an offer.Monsieur did not forget his proffer;But at the first hotel on shore,They stopped to lodge and board.The Frenchman ordered in his wayA dinner to be done that day;But here occurred a grievous bore:—Monsieur of English knew but little.Tapps of French knew not a tittle.In ordering dinner, therefore, 'tis no wonderThat they should make a blunder.Whether the landlord knew, or no,The sequel of my tale will show.He blundered, and it cannot be denied,To some small disadvantage on his side.The order seemed immense to Boniface:But more the expense, to him the greater fun;For all that from the order he could trace,Was,—"Messieur Bull, you lettee me have, I say,Vich for vid cash, I sal you pay,Fifteen of those vid vich the sheep do run!"From which old Tapps could only understand(But whether right or wrong, cared not a button),That what monsieur desired, with air so grand,Was fifteen legs of mutton!"A dinner most enormous!" cried the elf."Zounds! each must eat a leg, near, to himself!"However, they seemed a set of hungry curs;And so, without more bother or demurs,Tapps to his cook his orders soon expressed,And fifteen legs of mutton quick were dressed.And now around the table all elate,The Frenchman's friends the dinner doth await.Joy sparkled in each hungry urchin's eyes,When they beheld, with glad surprise,Tapps quick appear with leg of mutton hot,Smoking, and just ejected from the pot!Laughed, stared, and chuckled more and more,Whentwothey saw, thenthree, thenfour!And then afifththeir eager glances blessed,And then asixth, larger than all the rest!But soon the Frenchman's countenance did change,To see the legs of mutton on the table.Surprise and rage by turnsIn his face burns,While Tapps the table did arrangeAs nice as he was able.And while the Frenchmen for the feast prepared,Thus, in a voice that quite the landlord scared,Our hero said,—"Mon Dieu, monsieur! vy for you makeDis vera great blundare and mistake?Vy for you bring to me dese mouton legs?"Tapps with a bow his pardon begs:—"I've done as you have ordered, sir," said he."Did you not orderfifteen legsof me?Sixof which before your eyes appear,Andnine besidesare nearly done down-stair!Here, John!"—"Go, hang you, Jean! you fool! you ass!You one great clown to bring me to dis pass:Take vay dis meat, for vich I sall no pay.I did no order dat."—"What's that you say?"Tapps answered with a frown and with a stare,"You ordered fifteen legs of me, I'll swear,Orfifteen things with which the sheep do run,Whichmeans the same:—I'm not so easy done.""Parbleu, monsieur! vy you no comprehend?You may take back de legs unto de pot:I telle you, sare, 'tis not de legs I vant,Butdese here leetel tings vid vich de sheep do trot!""Why, hang it!" cried the landlord in a rage,Which monsieur vainly tried to assuage,"Hang it!" said he, as to the door he totters:"Now, after all the trouble that I took,These legs of mutton both to buy and cook,It seems instead offifteen legs,You merely wanted fifteen poor sheep's trotters!"