Amenities of the road.

Is it hurtBenevolent Old Gentleman."Poorlittle thing! Is it hurt?"[But it was only the week's washing.

Benevolent Old Gentleman."Poorlittle thing! Is it hurt?"

Amenities of the roadAmenities of the road.Robert."Now then, four-wheeler, why couldn't you pull up sooner? Didn't you see me 'old up my 'and?"Cabby(suavely). "Well, constable, Ididsee a kind of shadder pass acrorst the sky; but my 'orse 'e shied at your feet!"

Robert."Now then, four-wheeler, why couldn't you pull up sooner? Didn't you see me 'old up my 'and?"

Cabby(suavely). "Well, constable, Ididsee a kind of shadder pass acrorst the sky; but my 'orse 'e shied at your feet!"

Q.Whatis the best sort of cigar to smoke in a hansom?A.A Cab-ana.

The Wheel of Fortune.â€”It must have belonged originally to an omnibus, for it is continually "taking up" and "putting down" people.

carriage accidentGroom(whose master is fully occupied with unmanageable pair which has just run into rear of omnibus). "Well, anyway, it wasn't the guv'nor's fault."'Bus Conductor."Noâ€”it wasyourfault, for letting 'im drive!"

Groom(whose master is fully occupied with unmanageable pair which has just run into rear of omnibus). "Well, anyway, it wasn't the guv'nor's fault."

'Bus Conductor."Noâ€”it wasyourfault, for letting 'im drive!"

The way we Build now"The way we Build now."Indignant Houseowner(he had heard it was so much cheaper, in the end, to buy your house). "Wh' what's theâ€”what am I!â€”wha' what do you suppose is the meaning of this, Mr. Scampling!"Local Builder."'T' tut, tut! Well, sir, I 'spects some one's been a-leanin' agin it!!"

Indignant Houseowner(he had heard it was so much cheaper, in the end, to buy your house). "Wh' what's theâ€”what am I!â€”wha' what do you suppose is the meaning of this, Mr. Scampling!"

Local Builder."'T' tut, tut! Well, sir, I 'spects some one's been a-leanin' agin it!!"

GETTING HIS ANSWERGETTING HIS ANSWERImportant Old Gent(from the country, who thinks the lofty bearing of these London barmaids ought to be "taken down a bit"). "Glass of ale, young woman; and look sharp, please!"Haughty Blonde(blandly). "Second-class refreshments lower down, sir!!"

Important Old Gent(from the country, who thinks the lofty bearing of these London barmaids ought to be "taken down a bit"). "Glass of ale, young woman; and look sharp, please!"

Haughty Blonde(blandly). "Second-class refreshments lower down, sir!!"

Legs were freely walked off, and there was a pressure on ribs owing to the rush of beggars; but knuckles came down, while calves'-heads were looking-up steadily. At Smithfield, there was a rush of bulls, but the transactions were of such a hazardous nature as to appear more like a toss-up than firm business. Any kind of security was resorted to, and the bulls having driven a well-known speculator into a corner, he was glad to get out as he could, though an attempt was made to pin him to his position.

Pigs went on much at the old rates; and briskness could not be obtained, though thecouponswere freely offered.

The weather having been favourable to slaughtering, calves have not been brought to the penâ€”but there is something doing in beef, for the "Last of the Barons" is advertised.

The Original Cab Radius.â€”A spoke of PhÅ“bus's chariot-wheel.

Motto for the L.G.O.C.â€”Busin urbe.

A CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITYA CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITYOld Gentleman (returning from City festivity)."Pleashm'n, where'sh M'sht'r Brown live?"Constable (recognising him)."Why, dear me, sir, you are Mr. Brown!"Mr. B."Aw right! Bu'â€”where do I live?"!

Old Gentleman (returning from City festivity)."Pleashm'n, where'sh M'sht'r Brown live?"

Constable (recognising him)."Why, dear me, sir, you are Mr. Brown!"

Mr. B."Aw right! Bu'â€”where do I live?"!

Cheap JackCheap Jack."I will make a present of this genooine gold watchâ€”none of your carrotsâ€”to henny lady or gentleman for fifteen shillings an' sixpence. Why am I doin' this? To hencourage trade, that is why I am givin' it away for fourteen shillings an' sixpence. Look at it for yourselves, for fourteen shillings! If yer don't believe it's gold,jump on it?"

"I will make a present of this genooine gold watchâ€”none of your carrotsâ€”to henny lady or gentleman for fifteen shillings an' sixpence. Why am I doin' this? To hencourage trade, that is why I am givin' it away for fourteen shillings an' sixpence. Look at it for yourselves, for fourteen shillings! If yer don't believe it's gold,jump on it?"

At the Diamond JubileeAt the Diamond Jubilee.First Doubtful Character."My eye, mate, this is a squash!"Second D. C."Squash! Why, s'elp me, if I ain't 'ad my 'and in this cove's pocket for the larst twenty minits, an' can't get it out!"

First Doubtful Character."My eye, mate, this is a squash!"

Second D. C."Squash! Why, s'elp me, if I ain't 'ad my 'and in this cove's pocket for the larst twenty minits, an' can't get it out!"

Back to town, and it certes is rapture to stand,And to hear once again all the roar of the Strand;I agree with the bard who said, noisy or stilly,By gaslight or daylight, he loved Piccadilly;The wanderer's heart with emotion doth swell,When he sees the broad pavement of pleasant Pall Mall.Some folks like the City; wherever they range,Their hearts are still true to the Royal Exchange;They've beheld alpine summits rise rank upon rank,But the Matterhorn's nothing compared with the Bank;And they feel quite rejoiced in the omnibus ride,As that hearse for the living rolls up through Cheapside.The mind of a man is expanded by travel,But give me my house on the Kensington gravel:The wine of the Frenchman is good, and his grub,But he isn't devoted to soap and the tub;Though it may be my prejudice, yet I'll be shot,If I don't think one Englishman's worth all the lot!With Germans I've no disposition to quarrel,Though most of their women resemble a barrel;And, as for myself, I could never make outThe charms of theirschnitzeland rawsauer-kraut;While everyone owns, since the last mighty war,Your average Teuton's too bumptious by far.I think it's been stated before, that you roamTo prove to yourself that there's no place like home,Though lands that are lovely lie eastward and west,Our "tight little island," believe me, 's the best;Through Paris, Berlin, and Vienna you've passed,To find that there's nothing like London at last!

Back to town, and it certes is rapture to stand,

And to hear once again all the roar of the Strand;

I agree with the bard who said, noisy or stilly,

By gaslight or daylight, he loved Piccadilly;

The wanderer's heart with emotion doth swell,

When he sees the broad pavement of pleasant Pall Mall.

Some folks like the City; wherever they range,Their hearts are still true to the Royal Exchange;They've beheld alpine summits rise rank upon rank,But the Matterhorn's nothing compared with the Bank;And they feel quite rejoiced in the omnibus ride,As that hearse for the living rolls up through Cheapside.

Some folks like the City; wherever they range,

Their hearts are still true to the Royal Exchange;

They've beheld alpine summits rise rank upon rank,

But the Matterhorn's nothing compared with the Bank;

And they feel quite rejoiced in the omnibus ride,

As that hearse for the living rolls up through Cheapside.

The mind of a man is expanded by travel,But give me my house on the Kensington gravel:The wine of the Frenchman is good, and his grub,But he isn't devoted to soap and the tub;Though it may be my prejudice, yet I'll be shot,If I don't think one Englishman's worth all the lot!

The mind of a man is expanded by travel,

But give me my house on the Kensington gravel:

The wine of the Frenchman is good, and his grub,

But he isn't devoted to soap and the tub;

Though it may be my prejudice, yet I'll be shot,

If I don't think one Englishman's worth all the lot!

With Germans I've no disposition to quarrel,Though most of their women resemble a barrel;And, as for myself, I could never make outThe charms of theirschnitzeland rawsauer-kraut;While everyone owns, since the last mighty war,Your average Teuton's too bumptious by far.

With Germans I've no disposition to quarrel,

Though most of their women resemble a barrel;

And, as for myself, I could never make out

The charms of theirschnitzeland rawsauer-kraut;

While everyone owns, since the last mighty war,

Your average Teuton's too bumptious by far.

I think it's been stated before, that you roamTo prove to yourself that there's no place like home,Though lands that are lovely lie eastward and west,Our "tight little island," believe me, 's the best;Through Paris, Berlin, and Vienna you've passed,To find that there's nothing like London at last!

I think it's been stated before, that you roam

To prove to yourself that there's no place like home,

Though lands that are lovely lie eastward and west,

Our "tight little island," believe me, 's the best;

Through Paris, Berlin, and Vienna you've passed,

To find that there's nothing like London at last!

hair cuttingNew Assistant (after hair-cutting, to Jones, who has been away for a couple of weeks)."Your 'air is very thin be'ind, sir. Try singeing!"Jones (after a pause)."Yes, I think I will."N. A. (after singeing)."Shampoo, sir? Good for the 'air, sir."Jones."Thank you. Yes."N. A."Your moustaches curled?"Jones."Please."N. A."May I give you a friction?"Jones."Thank you."N. A."Will you try some of ourâ€”â€”"Manager (who has just sighted his man, in stage whisper)."You idiot!He'sa subscriber!!"

New Assistant (after hair-cutting, to Jones, who has been away for a couple of weeks)."Your 'air is very thin be'ind, sir. Try singeing!"

Jones (after a pause)."Yes, I think I will."

N. A. (after singeing)."Shampoo, sir? Good for the 'air, sir."

Jones."Thank you. Yes."

N. A."Your moustaches curled?"

Jones."Please."

N. A."May I give you a friction?"

Jones."Thank you."

N. A."Will you try some of ourâ€”â€”"

Manager (who has just sighted his man, in stage whisper)."You idiot!He'sa subscriber!!"

Mrs. R.was in an omnibus lately. The streets were so badly paved, she says, that the osculations were most trying to elderly people, though the younger ladies did not seem to object to them.

Signs of a Severe Winter in London

Early departure of swallows from Swallow Street.

Poet's Corner covered with rime.

Wild ducks on the Stock Exchange.

Coals raised.

Cynic's Motto for Kelly's Directory(by the kind permission of the Author of "Dead Men whom I have known.")â€”Living men whom I don't want to know.

Money Marketâ€”Shares, in Ascension Island Company, going up.

City Intelligence.â€”Should the proposed asylum for decayed bill brokers, jobbers, and others on 'Change be ultimately built, it will probably be at Stock-holm.

ConvenientConvenient.Lodger (who has been dining)."D' you have any 'bjecks'n t' my 'shcaping up into my rooms shec'nd floor? F'got my la'ch-key!!"

Lodger (who has been dining)."D' you have any 'bjecks'n t' my 'shcaping up into my rooms shec'nd floor? F'got my la'ch-key!!"

Advice to Smokers.â€”Cut Cavendish.

Fashionable Intelligence.â€”A new club, composed entirely of aristocratic literary ladies, is in course of formation; it is to be called "The Blue Lights."

Bye baby bunting,Daddy's gone a huntingOn the Stock Exchange, to catchSome one who is not his match;If he has luck,As well as pluck,A coach he'll very likely winTo ride his baby bunting in.

Bye baby bunting,

Daddy's gone a hunting

On the Stock Exchange, to catch

Some one who is not his match;

If he has luck,

As well as pluck,

A coach he'll very likely win

To ride his baby bunting in.

The Deaf Man's Paradise.â€”The Audit Office.

CASTING ACCOUNTS"CASTING ACCOUNTS"

Our French VisitorsOur French Visitors.(Sceneâ€”Royal Exchange.)First Frenchman (his first time in London)."Tiens, Alphonse! Qui est cet homme-lÃ ?"Second Frenchman (who, having been here once before is supposed to know all about it)."Chut! Plus bas, mon ami." (Whispers in reverential tone.) "Ce monsieur-lÃ â€”c'est le Lor' Maire!"

(Sceneâ€”Royal Exchange.)

First Frenchman (his first time in London)."Tiens, Alphonse! Qui est cet homme-lÃ ?"

Second Frenchman (who, having been here once before is supposed to know all about it)."Chut! Plus bas, mon ami." (Whispers in reverential tone.) "Ce monsieur-lÃ â€”c'est le Lor' Maire!"

A very much Over-rated Place.â€”London, under the County Council.

A Bill Acceptor.â€”A dead wall.

Site for a Ragged School.â€”Tattersall's.

Links that are no Sort of Use in any Fog.â€”Shirt-links.

The most Beautiful and Beautifying Tree in London.â€”The plane.

"Coigns of 'vantage."â€”Â£.s.d.

BULL AND BEARBULL AND BEAR

The "Bread of Idleness."â€”Loafing.

POEM ON A PUBLIC-HOUSE

Of this establishment how can we speak?Its cheese is mitey and its ale is weak.

Of this establishment how can we speak?

Its cheese is mitey and its ale is weak.

The Aristocrat's Paradise.â€”Quality Court.

"The Controller of theMint."â€”The greengrocer.

Seasonable.â€”What sort of a bath would a resident of Cornhill probably prefer?ACit'sbath.

The Tippler's Paradise.â€”Portsoken Ward.

TightnessTightness observable at the opening

declineA decline at the close

RailwaysRailways were dull

BullyinBullyin' movements

The Stockbroker's Vade Mecum.â€”A book of good quotations.

Epitaph on a Letter Carrier.â€”Post obit.

A Man in Advance of his Time.â€”One who has been knocked into the middle of next week.

The Lord Mayor's Residence.â€”The munching house.

THE UNPUNCTUAL CLERKA NEW TERROR FOR THE UNPUNCTUAL CLERK[According to theScientific Americanthey have commenced making in Switzerland phonographic clocks and watches, which pronounce the hour most distinctly.]

[According to theScientific Americanthey have commenced making in Switzerland phonographic clocks and watches, which pronounce the hour most distinctly.]

The Best School of Cookery.â€”The office of a City accountant.

OBSTINACY OF THE PARENTTHE OBSTINACY OF THE PARENTEmily Jane."Yes, I'm always a-sayin' to father as 'e oughter retire from the crossin', but keep at it 'e will, though it ain't just no more 'n the broom as 'olds 'im up!"

Emily Jane."Yes, I'm always a-sayin' to father as 'e oughter retire from the crossin', but keep at it 'e will, though it ain't just no more 'n the broom as 'olds 'im up!"

The scarcity of money is frightful. As much as a hundred per cent., to be paid in advance, has been asked upon bills; but we have not yet heard of any one having given it. There was an immense run for gold, but no one got any, and the whole of the transactions of the day were done in copper. An influential party created some sensation by coming into the market late in the afternoon, just before the close of business, with half-a-crown; but it was found, on inquiry, to be a bad one. It is expected that if the dearth of money continues another week, buttons must be resorted to. A party, whose transactions are known to be large, succeeded in settling his account with the bulls, by means of postage-stamps; an arrangement of which the bears will probably take advantage.

A large capitalist in the course of the day attempted to change the direction things had taken, by throwing an immense quantity of paper into the market; but as no one seemed disposed to have anything to do with it, it blew over.

The parties to the Dutch loan are much irritatedat being asked to take their dividends in butter; but, after the insane attempt to get rid of the Spanish arrears by cigars, which, it is well known, ended in smoke, we do not think the Dutch project will be proceeded with.

"Letters of Credit."â€”I.O.U.

Capital Punishment.â€”Stopping in London in August.

Residence for the Clerk of the Weather.â€”"The clearing-house."

MAN OF LETTERSA MAN OF LETTERS

Most AssuringMost Assuring.Brown (who is nervous about sanitary matters, and detects something)."Hum"â€”(sniffs)â€”"surelyâ€”this system of yoursâ€”these pipes nowâ€”do they communicate with your main drain?"Hairdresser (with cheery gusto)."Direct, sir!"[Tableau.

Brown (who is nervous about sanitary matters, and detects something)."Hum"â€”(sniffs)â€”"surelyâ€”this system of yoursâ€”these pipes nowâ€”do they communicate with your main drain?"

Hairdresser (with cheery gusto)."Direct, sir!"

How long to VictoriaGilded Johnny."How long will it take your bally cab to get to Victoria?"Cabby."Oh, just about the same time as an ordinary keb, sir."

Gilded Johnny."How long will it take your bally cab to get to Victoria?"

Cabby."Oh, just about the same time as an ordinary keb, sir."

NEVER TOO LATE TO MEND"NEVER TOO LATE TO MEND"Respectable Man."Dear me! I'm sorry to see this, Muggles! I heard you'd left off drinking!"Disreputable Party."Sho I 'ave, shirâ€”(hic)â€”jesh 'ish very minute!"

Respectable Man."Dear me! I'm sorry to see this, Muggles! I heard you'd left off drinking!"

Disreputable Party."Sho I 'ave, shirâ€”(hic)â€”jesh 'ish very minute!"

don't go, you knowObvious.Stingy Uncle (to impecunious Nephew)."Pay as you go, my boy!â€”Pay as you go!"Nephew (suggestively)."But suppose I haven't any money to pay with, uncleâ€”â€”"Uncle."Eh?â€”Well, then, don't go, you knowâ€”don't go!"[Exit hastily.

Stingy Uncle (to impecunious Nephew)."Pay as you go, my boy!â€”Pay as you go!"

Nephew (suggestively)."But suppose I haven't any money to pay with, uncleâ€”â€”"

Uncle."Eh?â€”Well, then, don't go, you knowâ€”don't go!"

Street SerioStreet Serio (singing)."Erâ€”yew will think hov me and love me has in dies hov long ago-o-o!"

"Erâ€”yew will think hov me and love me has in dies hov long ago-o-o!"

Billboard bearerSHEWERFIT & Co.

REAL GRATITUDEREAL GRATITUDETramp (to Chappie, who has just given him a shilling)."I 'ope as 'ow some day, sir,youmay want a shillin', an' that I'll be able to give it to yer!"

Tramp (to Chappie, who has just given him a shilling)."I 'ope as 'ow some day, sir,youmay want a shillin', an' that I'll be able to give it to yer!"

I'll be yer Sweet'artVendor of Cheap Music."'Ere y' are, lidy!'I'll be yer Sweet'art.'One penny!"

"'Ere y' are, lidy!'I'll be yer Sweet'art.'One penny!"

If you please, sir, as a young visitor to the metropolis, and well acquainted with history, I want to ask youâ€”

Who is the Constable of the Tower?What is his number?Is he dressed like other constables?Can he run anyone in, and make them move on if found loitering on his beat?Is his beat all round the Tower?Is he a special? one of theforce de tour, empowered to use atour de force? (You see I am well up in French.)I saw a very amiable-looking policeman cracking nuts in the vicinity of the Tower. Do you think this was the constable in question?

Who is the Constable of the Tower?

What is his number?

Is he dressed like other constables?

Can he run anyone in, and make them move on if found loitering on his beat?

Is his beat all round the Tower?

Is he a special? one of theforce de tour, empowered to use atour de force? (You see I am well up in French.)

I saw a very amiable-looking policeman cracking nuts in the vicinity of the Tower. Do you think this was the constable in question?

Yours,

Rusty Cuss in Urbe.

P.S.â€”Pantheon means a place where all the gods are. I know Greek. The Pantheon in Regent Street I find is now a wine merchant's. Is England exclusively devoted to Bacchus, and is temperance a heresy?

On the NinthOn the Ninth.Freddy."And do they have a new Lord Mayor every year, mummie?"Mother."Yes, dear."Freddy."Then what do they do with the old Lord Mayors when they've done with 'em?"

Freddy."And do they have a new Lord Mayor every year, mummie?"

Mother."Yes, dear."

Freddy."Then what do they do with the old Lord Mayors when they've done with 'em?"

men in coversationClerk."Lady been here this morning, sir, complaining about some goods we sent her."Employer."Who was she?"Clerk."I quite forgot to ask her name, sir, but she's a little womanâ€”with a full-sized tongue!"

Clerk."Lady been here this morning, sir, complaining about some goods we sent her."

Employer."Who was she?"

Clerk."I quite forgot to ask her name, sir, but she's a little womanâ€”with a full-sized tongue!"

his imaginary foeLittle Boldwig(he had been dining with his Company, and had let himself in with his latchkeyâ€”to gigantic stranger he finds in his hall). "Come on. I'll fight you!" (Furiously.) "Put your shtick down!!"[But his imaginary foe was only the new umbrella-standâ€”a presentfrom Mrs. B.!

Little Boldwig(he had been dining with his Company, and had let himself in with his latchkeyâ€”to gigantic stranger he finds in his hall). "Come on. I'll fight you!" (Furiously.) "Put your shtick down!!"

MAKING THE MOST OF ITMAKING THE MOST OF IT

A Shocking Thing to think of!â€”A galvanic battery.

"Cash Advances."â€”Courting a rich widow.

Motto for Hairdressers.â€”"Cut and comb again."

Correct Motto for the Easy Shaver.â€”Nothing like lather.

Perpetrated by Dumb-Crambo, Junior

Suitable opening for a pupil"Suitable opening for a pupil"

Mother's help wanted"Mother's help wanted"

Pushing man to take orders"Pushing man to take orders"

A good plate cleaner"A good plate cleaner"

No reasonable offer refused"No reasonable offer refused"

Goods carefully removed"Goods carefully removed (in town or country)"

The Best Possession.â€”Self-possession.

Two Synonymous Trades.â€”A hairdresser; a locksmith.

The best Substitute for Coal.â€”Warm weather.

Passing AmenitiesPassing Amenities.Growler."Hi! Hi! Carn't yer look out wher' yer a-comin'?"Omnibus."Garn! Shut up, jack-in-the-box!"

Growler."Hi! Hi! Carn't yer look out wher' yer a-comin'?"

Omnibus."Garn! Shut up, jack-in-the-box!"

Perhaps she's D. E. F."I wonder when that A. B. C. girl is going to serve us? I've called her half-a-dozen times.""Perhaps she's D. E. F."

"I wonder when that A. B. C. girl is going to serve us? I've called her half-a-dozen times."

"Perhaps she's D. E. F."

Town Improvement.â€”There is, we hear, a winter garden to be opened at Somer's Town.

The Dummy-Monde.â€”Madame Tussaud's wax-work.

SO INVITINGSO INVITING!

do you believe in woman's rightsPassenger(rising politely). "Excuse me, mum, but do you believe in woman's rights?"New Woman."Most certainly I do."Passenger(resuming seat). "Oh well, then stand up for 'em!"

Passenger(rising politely). "Excuse me, mum, but do you believe in woman's rights?"

New Woman."Most certainly I do."

Passenger(resuming seat). "Oh well, then stand up for 'em!"

To visit the National Gallery (for the first time), as an Englishman should really know something about the art treasures of his native country.

To spend an hour at the Tower (also for the first time), because there you will be able to brighten up your historical recollections which have become rather rusty since you took your B.A. degree just fifteen years ago.

To enter St. Paul's Cathedral with a view to thinking out a really good plan of decoration for the benefit of those who read letters addressed to the editor of theTimes.

To take a ride in an omnibus from Piccadilly to Brompton to see what the interior of the vehicle in question is like, and therein to study the manners and customs of the English middle classes.

To walk in Rotten Row between the hours of twelve (noon) and two (p.m.) to see how the place looks without any people in it.

To have your photograph taken in your militiauniform, as now there is no one in town to watch you getting out of a cab in full war paint.

To stroll into Mudie's Library to get all the new novels, because after reading them you may suddenly find yourself inspired to write a critique that will make your name (when the article has been accepted and published) as a most accomplished reviewer.

To read all the newspapers and magazines at the hairdresser's while your head is being shampooed (for the fourth time), as now is the time for improving your mind (occupied with so many other things during the season) with popular current literature.

To walk to your club (closed for repairs, &c.) to see how the workmen are progressing with the stone scraping of the exterior, as you feel yourself responsible to hundreds of your fellow-creatures as a member of the house committee.

To write a long letter to your friend Brown, of the 121st Foot, now in India with his regiment, to tell him how nothing is going on anywhere, because you have not written to him since he said "Good-bye" to you at Southampton.

To go home to bed at nine o'clock, as earlyhours are good for the health, and because there is really nothing else to do.

And last, but not least, to leave London for the country by the very first train to-morrow morning!

Sigh no more dealers, sigh no more,Shares were unstable ever,They often have been down before,At high rates constant never.Then sigh not so,Soon up they'll go,And you'll be blithe and funny,Converting all your notes of woeInto hey, money, money.Write no more letters, write no moOn stocks so dull and heavy.At times on 'Change 'tis always so,When bears a tribute levy.Then sigh not so,And don't be low,In sunshine you'll make honey,Converting all your notes of woe,Into hey, money, money.

Sigh no more dealers, sigh no more,

Shares were unstable ever,

They often have been down before,

At high rates constant never.

Then sigh not so,

Soon up they'll go,

And you'll be blithe and funny,

Converting all your notes of woe

Into hey, money, money.

Write no more letters, write no moOn stocks so dull and heavy.At times on 'Change 'tis always so,When bears a tribute levy.Then sigh not so,And don't be low,In sunshine you'll make honey,Converting all your notes of woe,Into hey, money, money.

Write no more letters, write no mo

On stocks so dull and heavy.

At times on 'Change 'tis always so,

When bears a tribute levy.

Then sigh not so,

And don't be low,

In sunshine you'll make honey,

Converting all your notes of woe,

Into hey, money, money.

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