ACT II.

ACT II.Scene.—Market-place in the Village. Rustic houses. In centre a market cross.EnterPeasantsdancing, coupled two and two. An oldManwith a youngGirl. Then an oldWomanwith a youngMan. Then other ill-assorted couples.Opening Chorus.Happy are we in our loving frivolity,Happy and jolly as people of quality;Love is the source of all joy to humanity,Money, position, and rank are a vanity;Year after year we’ve been waiting and tarrying,Without ever dreaming of loving and marrying.Though we’ve been hitherto deaf, dumb, and blind to it,It’s pleasant enough when you’ve made up your mind to it.EnterConstance, leadingNotary.Aria.—Constance.Dear friends, take pity on my lot,My cup is not of nectar!I long have loved—as who would not?—Our kind and reverend rector.Long years ago my love beganSo sweetly—yet so sadly—But when I saw this plain old man,Away my old affection ran—I found I loved him madly.Oh!(ToNotary.) You very, very plain old man,I love, I love you madly!Chorus.You very, very plain old man,She loves, she loves you madly!Notary.I am a very deaf old man,And hear you very badly.Con.I know not why I love him so;It is enchantment, surely!He’s dry and snuffy, deaf and slow,Ill-tempered, weak, and poorly!He’s ugly, and absurdly dressed,And sixty-seven nearly,He’s everything that I detest,But if the truth must be confessed,I love him very dearly!Oh!(ToNotary.)You’re everything that I detest,But still I love you dearly!Chorus.You’re everything that girls detest,But still she loves you dearly!Notary.I caught that line, but for the restI did not hear it clearly![During this verseAlineandAlexishave entered at back, unobserved.Aline and Alexis.Alex.Oh, joy! oh, joy!The charm works well,And all are now united.Ali.The blind young boyObeys the spell,Their troth they all have plighted!Ensemble.Aline and Alexis.Constance.Notary.Oh, joy! oh, joy!Oh, bitter joy!Oh, joy! oh, joy!The charm works well,No words can tellNo words can tellAnd all are nowHow my poor heartMy state of mindunited.is blighted!delighted.The blind young boyThey’ll soon employThey’ll soon employObeys the spell,A marriage bell,A marriage bell,Their troth they allTo say that we’reTo say that we’rehave plighted.united.united.True happinessI do confessTrue happinessReigns everywhere,A sorrow rareReigns everywhere,And dwells withMy humbled spiritAnd dwells withboth the sexes,vexes,both the sexes,And all will blessAnd none will blessAnd all will blessThe thoughtful careExample rareExample rareOf their belovedOf their belovedOf their belovedAlexis!Alexis!Alexis![All, exceptAlexisandAline, dance off to symphony.Ali.How joyful they all seem in their new-found happiness! The whole village has paired off in the happiest manner. And yet not a match has been made that the hollow world would not consider ill-advised!Alex.But we are wiser—far wiser—than the world. Observe the good that will become of these ill-assorted unions. The miserly wife will check the reckless expenditure of her too frivolous consort, the wealthy husband will shower innumerable bonnets on his penniless bride, and the young and lively spousewill cheer the declining days of her aged partner with comic songs unceasing!Ali.What a delightful prospect for him!Alex.But one thing remains to be done, that my happiness may be complete. We must drink the philtre ourselves, that I may be assured of your love for ever and ever.Ali.Oh, Alexis, do you doubt me? Is it necessary that such love as ours should be secured by artificial means? Oh no, no, no!Alex.My dear Aline, time works terrible changes, and I want to place our love beyond the chance of change.Ali.Alexis, it is already far beyond that chance. Have faith in me, for my love can never, never change!Alex.Then you absolutely refuse?Ali.I do. If you cannot trust me, you have no right to love me—no right to be lovedbyme.Alex.Enough, Aline; I shall know how to interpret this refusal.Ballad.—Alexis.Thou hast the power thy vaunted loveTo sanctify, all doubt above,Despite the gathering shade:To make that love of thine so sureThat, come what may, it must endureTill time itself shall fade.Thy love is but a flowerThat fades within the hour!If such thy love, oh, shame!Call it by other name—It is not love!Thine is the power, and thine alone,To place me on so proud a throneThat kings might envy me!A priceless throne of love untold,More rare than orient pearl and gold.But no! Thou wouldst be free!Such love is like the rayThat dies within the day!If such thy love, oh, shame!Call it by other name—It is not love!EnterDr. Daly.Dr. D.(musing). It is singular—it is very singular. It has overthrown all my calculations. It is distinctly opposed to the doctrine of averages. I cannot understand it.Ali.Dear Dr. Daly, what has puzzled you?Dr. D.My dear, this village has not hitherto been addicted to marrying and giving in marriage. Hitherto the youths of this village have not been enterprising, and the maidens have been distinctly coy. Judge then of my surprise when I tell you that the whole village came to me in a body just now, and implored me to join them in matrimony with as little delay as possible. Even your excellent father has hinted to me that before very long it is not unlikely that he, also, may change his condition.Ali.Oh, Alexis—do you hear that? Are you not delighted?Alex.Yes. I confess that a union between your mother and my father would be a happy circumstance indeed. (Crossing toDr. Daly.) My dear sir, the news that you bring us is very gratifying.Dr. D.Yes—still, in my eyes, it has its melancholy side. This universal marrying recalls the happy days—now, alas! gone for ever—when I myself might have—but tush! I am puling. I am too old to marry—and yet, within the last half-hour, I have greatly yearned for companionship. I never remarked it before, but the young maidens of this village are very comely. So likewise are the middle-aged. Also the elderly. All are comely—and (with a deep sigh) all are engaged!Ali.Here comes your father.EnterSir MarmadukewithMrs. Partlet, arm-in-arm.Ali. and Alex.(aside). Mrs. Partlet!Sir M.Dr. Daly, give me joy. Alexis, my dear boy, you will, I am sure, be pleased to hear that my declining days are not unlikely to be solaced by the companionship of this good, virtuous, and amiable woman.Alex.(rather taken aback). My dear father, this is not altogether what I expected. I am certainly taken somewhat by surprise. Still it can hardly be necessary to assure you that any wife of yours is a mother of mine. (Aside toAline.) It is not quite what I could have wished.Mrs. P.(crossing toAlexis). Oh, sir, I entreat your forgiveness. I am aware that socially I am not everything that could be desired, nor am I blessed with an abundance of worldly goods, but I can at least confer on your estimable father the great and priceless dowry of a true, tender, and loving heart.Alex.(coldly). I do not question it. After all, a faithful love is the true source of every earthly joy.Sir M.I knew that my boy would not blame his poor father for acting on the impulse of a heart that has never yet misled him. Zorah is not, perhaps, what the world call beautiful——Dr. D.Still she is comely—distinctly comely! (Sighs.)Ali.Zorah is very good, and very clean and honest, and quite sober in her habits; and that is worth far more than beauty, dear Sir Marmaduke.Dr. D.Yes; beauty will fade and perish, but personal cleanliness is practically undying, for it can be renewed whenever it discovers symptoms of decay. My dear Sir Marmaduke, I heartily congratulate you. (Sighs.)Quintette.Alexis, Aline, Sir Marmaduke, Zorah, and Dr. Daly.Alex.I rejoice that it’s decided.Happy now will be his life,For my father is providedWith a true and tender wife!Ensemble.She will tend him, nurse him, mend him,Air his linen, dry his tears.Bless the thoughtful fates that send himSuch a wife to soothe his years!Ali.No young giddy thoughtless maiden,Full of graces, airs, and jeers—But a sober widow, ladenWith the weight of fifty years!Sir M.No high-born exacting beauty,Blazing like a jewelled sun—But a wife who’ll do her duty,As that duty should be done!Mrs. P.I’m no saucy minx and giddy—Hussies such as they abound—But a clean and tidy widdy,Well be-known for miles around!Dr. D.All the village now have mated,All are happy as can be—I to live alone am fated:No one’s left to marry me!Ensemble.She will tend him, etc.[ExeuntSir MarmadukeandMrs. Partlet,AlineandAlexis.Dr. Dalylooks after them sentimentally, then exit with a sigh.Mr. Wells,whohas overheard part of this Quintette, and who has remained concealed behind the market cross, comes down as they go off.Recitative.—Mr. Wells.Oh, I have wrought much evil with my spells!An ill I can’t undo!This is too bad of you, J. W. Wells—What wrong have they done you?And see—another love-lorn lady comes—Alas, poor stricken dame!A gentle pensiveness her life benumbs—And mine, alone, the blame!(Sits at foot of market cross.)Lady Sangazureenters. She is very melancholy.Lady S.Alas! ah me! and well-a-day!I sigh for love, and well I may,For I am very old and gray.But stay!(SeesMr. Wells, and becomes fascinated by him.)Recitative.Lady S.What is this fairy form I see before me?Mr. W.Oh, horrible!—she’s going to adore me!This last catastrophe is overpowering!Lady S.Why do you glare at me with visage lowering?For pity’s sake, recoil not thus from me!Mr. W.My lady, leave me—this may never be!Duet.—Lady Sangazure and Mr. Wells.Mr. W.Hate me! I drop my H’s—have through life!Lady S.Love me! I’ll drop them too!Mr. W.Hate me! I always eat peas with a knife!Lady S.Love me! I’ll eat like you!Mr. W.Hate me! I spend the day at Rosherville!Lady S.Love me! that joy I’ll share!Mr. W.Hate me! I often roll down One Tree Hill!Lady S.Love me! I’ll join you there!Lady S.Love me! my prejudices I will drop!Mr. W.Hate me! that’s not enough!Lady S.Love me! I’ll come and help you in the shop!Mr. W.Hate me! the life is rough!Lady S.Love me! my grammar I will all forswear!Mr. W.Hate me! abjure my lot!Lady S.Love me! I’ll stick sunflowers in my hair!Mr. W.Hate me! they’ll suit you not!Recitative.—Mr. Wells.At what I am going to say be not enraged—I may not love you—for I am engaged!Lady S.(horrified). Engaged!Mr. W.Engaged!To a maiden fair,With bright brown hair,And a sweet and simple smile,Who waits for meBy the sounding sea,On a South Pacific isle.(Aside.)A lie! No maiden waits me there!Lady S.(mournfully). She has bright brown hair;Mr. W.(aside). A lie! No maiden smiles on me!Lady S.(mournfully). By the sounding sea!Ensemble.Lady Sangazure.Mr. Wells.Oh, agony, rage, despair!Oh, agony, rage, despair!The maiden has bright brown hair,Oh, where will this end—oh, where?And mine is as white as snow!I should like very much to know!False man, it will be your faultIt will certainly be my faultIf I go to my family vault,If she goes to her family vault,And bury my life-long woe!To bury her life-long woe!Both.The family vault—the family vault.{your}It will certainly be {my} fault,{ I go } {my}If {she goes} to {her} family vault,{my}To bury {her} life-long woe![ExitLady Sangazure, in great anguish.Recitative.—Mr. Wells.Oh, hideous doom—to scatter desolation,And sow the seeds of sorrow far and wide!To fostermésalliancesthrough the nation,And drive high-born old dames to suicide!Shall I subject myself to reprobationBy leaving her in solitude to pine?No! come what may, I’ll make her reparation,So, aged lady, take me!—I am thine![ExitMr. Wells.EnterAline.Ali.This was to have been the happiest day of my life—but I am very far from happy! Alexis insists that I shall taste the philtre—and when I try to persuade him that to do so would be an insult to my pure and lasting love, he tells me that I object because I do not desire that my love for him shall be eternal. Well (sighing and producing a phial), I can at least prove to him that in that he is unjust!Recitative.Alexis! Doubt me not, my loved one! See,Thine uttered will is sovereign law to me!All fear—all thought of ill I cast away!It is my darling’s will, and I obey! (She drinks the philtre.)The fearful deed is done,My love is near!I go to meet my ownIn trembling fear!If o’er us aught of illShould cast a shade.It was my darling’s will,And I obeyed![AsAlineis going off, she meetsDr. Daly, entering pensively. He is playing on a flageolet. Under the influence of the spell she at once becomes strangely fascinated by him, and exhibits every symptom of being hopelessly in love with him.Song.—Dr. Daly.Oh, my voice is sad and low,And with timid step I go—For with load of love o’erladenI enquire of every maiden,“Will you wed me, little lady?Will you share my cottage shady?”Little lady answers, “No!Thank you for your kindly proffer—Good your heart, and full your coffer;Yet I must decline your offer—I’m engaged to So-and-so!”So-and-so!So-and-so! (flageolet).She’s engaged to So-and-so!What a rogue young hearts to pillage!What a worker on Love’s tillage!Every maiden in the villageIs engaged to So-and-so!So-and-so!So-and-so! (flageolet).All engaged to So-and-so![At the end of the songDr. DalyseesAline, and, under the influence of the potion, falls in love with her.Ensemble.—Aline and Dr. Daly.Oh, joyous boon! oh, mad delight!Oh, sun and moon! oh, day and night!Rejoice, rejoice with me!Proclaim our joy, ye birds above—Ye brooklets, murmur forth our love,In choral ecstasy:Ali.Oh, joyous boon!Dr. D.Oh, mad delight!Ali.Oh, sun and moon!Dr. D.Oh, day and night!Both.Ye birds and brooks and fruitful trees,With choral joy delight the breeze—Rejoice, rejoice with me!EnterAlexis.Recitative.Alex.(with rapture). Aline, my only love, my happiness!The philtre—you have tasted it?Ali.(with confusion).Yes! Yes!Alex.Oh, joy, mine, mine for ever and for aye.[Embraces her.Ali.Alexis, don’t do that—you must not![Dr. Daly interposes between them.Alex.(amazed.)Why?Duet.—Aline and Dr. Daly.Ali.Alas! that lovers thus should meet:Oh, pity, pity me!Oh, charge me not with cold deceit;Oh, pity, pity me!You bade me drink—with trembling aweI drank, and, by the potion’s law,I loved the very first I saw!Oh, pity, pity me!Dr. D.My dear young friend, consolèd be—We pity, pity you.In this I’m not an agent free—We pity, pity you.Some most extraordinary spellO’er us has cast its magic fell—The consequence I need not tell.We pity, pity you.Ensemble.Some most extraordinary spell{us}O’er {them} has cast its magic fell—{we}The consequence {they} need not tell.{We}{thee!{They} pity, pity {me!Alex.(furiously). False one, begone—I spurn thee!To thy new lover turn thee!Thy perfidy all men shall know.Ali.(wildly).I could not help it!Alex.(calling off).Come one, come all!Dr. D.We could not help it!Alex.(calling off).Obey my call!Ali.(wildly).I could not help it!Alex.(calling off).Come, hither, run!Dr. D.We could not help it!Alex.(calling off).Come, every one!Enter all the characters exceptLady SangazureandMr. Wells.Chorus.Oh, what is the matter, and what is the clatter?He’s glowering at her, and threatens a blow!Oh, why does he batter the girl he did flatter?And why does the latter recoil from him so?Recitative.—Alexis.Prepare for sad surprises—My love Aline despises!No thought of sorrow shames her—Another lover claims her!Be his, false girl, for better or for worse—But, ere you leave me, may a lover’s curse——Dr. D.(coming forward). Hold! Be just. This poor child drank the philtre at your instance. She hurried off to meet you—but, most unhappily, she met me instead. As you had administered the potion to both of us, the result was inevitable. But fear nothing from me—I will be no man’s rival. I shall quit the country at once—and bury my sorrow in the congenial gloom of a colonial bishopric.Alex.My excellent old friend! (Taking his hand—then turning toMr. Wells, who has entered withLady Sangazure.) Oh, Mr. Wells, what, what is to be done?Mr. W.I do not know—and yet—there is one means by which this spell may be removed.Alex.Name it—oh, name it!Mr. W.Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the Co.Alex.True. Well, I am ready!Ali.No, no—Alexis—it must not be! Mr. Wells, if he must die that all may be restored to their old loves, what is to become of me? I should be left out in the cold, with no love to be restored to!Mr. W.True—I did not think of that. (To the others.) My friends, I appeal to you, and I will leave the decision in your hands.Finale.Mr. W.Or I or heMust die!Which shall it be?Reply!Sir M.Die thou!Thou art the cause of all offending!Lady S.Die thou!Yield thou to this decree unbending!All.Die thou!Mr. W.So be it! I submit! My fate is sealed.To popular opinion thus I yield! (Falls.)Be happy all—leave me to my despair—I go—it matters not with whom—or where! (Gong.)[All quit their present partners, and rejoin their old lovers.Sir MarmadukeleavesMrs. Partlet, and goes toLady Sangazure.AlineleavesDr. Daly, and goes toAlexis.Dr. DalyleavesAline, and goes toConstance.NotaryleavesConstance, and goes toMrs. Partlet. All theChorusmake a corresponding change.All.Gentlemen.Oh, my adored one!Ladies.Unmingled joy!Gentlemen.Ecstatic rapture!Ladies.Beloved boy! (They embrace.)Sir M.Come to my mansion, all of you! At leastWe’ll crown our rapture with another feast.Ensemble.Sir Marmaduke, Lady Sangazure, Alexis, and Aline.Now to the banquet we press;Now for the eggs and the ham,Now for the mustard and cress,Now for the strawberry jam!Chorus.Now to the banquet, etc.Dr. Daly, Constance, Notary, and Mrs. Partlet.Now for the tea of our host,Now for the rollicking bun,Now for the muffin and toast,Now for the gay Sally Lunn!Chorus.Now for the tea, etc.(General Dance.)

Scene.—Market-place in the Village. Rustic houses. In centre a market cross.

EnterPeasantsdancing, coupled two and two. An oldManwith a youngGirl. Then an oldWomanwith a youngMan. Then other ill-assorted couples.

Opening Chorus.

Happy are we in our loving frivolity,Happy and jolly as people of quality;Love is the source of all joy to humanity,Money, position, and rank are a vanity;Year after year we’ve been waiting and tarrying,Without ever dreaming of loving and marrying.Though we’ve been hitherto deaf, dumb, and blind to it,It’s pleasant enough when you’ve made up your mind to it.

Happy are we in our loving frivolity,

Happy and jolly as people of quality;

Love is the source of all joy to humanity,

Money, position, and rank are a vanity;

Year after year we’ve been waiting and tarrying,

Without ever dreaming of loving and marrying.

Though we’ve been hitherto deaf, dumb, and blind to it,

It’s pleasant enough when you’ve made up your mind to it.

EnterConstance, leadingNotary.

Aria.—Constance.

Dear friends, take pity on my lot,My cup is not of nectar!I long have loved—as who would not?—Our kind and reverend rector.Long years ago my love beganSo sweetly—yet so sadly—But when I saw this plain old man,Away my old affection ran—I found I loved him madly.Oh!(ToNotary.) You very, very plain old man,I love, I love you madly!Chorus.You very, very plain old man,She loves, she loves you madly!Notary.I am a very deaf old man,And hear you very badly.Con.I know not why I love him so;It is enchantment, surely!He’s dry and snuffy, deaf and slow,Ill-tempered, weak, and poorly!He’s ugly, and absurdly dressed,And sixty-seven nearly,He’s everything that I detest,But if the truth must be confessed,I love him very dearly!Oh!(ToNotary.)You’re everything that I detest,But still I love you dearly!Chorus.You’re everything that girls detest,But still she loves you dearly!Notary.I caught that line, but for the restI did not hear it clearly!

Dear friends, take pity on my lot,

My cup is not of nectar!

I long have loved—as who would not?—

Our kind and reverend rector.

Long years ago my love began

So sweetly—yet so sadly—

But when I saw this plain old man,

Away my old affection ran—

I found I loved him madly.

Oh!

(ToNotary.) You very, very plain old man,

I love, I love you madly!

Chorus.You very, very plain old man,She loves, she loves you madly!

Chorus.You very, very plain old man,

She loves, she loves you madly!

Notary.I am a very deaf old man,And hear you very badly.

Notary.I am a very deaf old man,

And hear you very badly.

Con.I know not why I love him so;It is enchantment, surely!He’s dry and snuffy, deaf and slow,Ill-tempered, weak, and poorly!He’s ugly, and absurdly dressed,And sixty-seven nearly,He’s everything that I detest,But if the truth must be confessed,I love him very dearly!Oh!(ToNotary.)You’re everything that I detest,But still I love you dearly!

Con.I know not why I love him so;

It is enchantment, surely!

He’s dry and snuffy, deaf and slow,

Ill-tempered, weak, and poorly!

He’s ugly, and absurdly dressed,

And sixty-seven nearly,

He’s everything that I detest,

But if the truth must be confessed,

I love him very dearly!

Oh!

(ToNotary.)You’re everything that I detest,

But still I love you dearly!

Chorus.You’re everything that girls detest,But still she loves you dearly!

Chorus.You’re everything that girls detest,

But still she loves you dearly!

Notary.I caught that line, but for the restI did not hear it clearly!

Notary.I caught that line, but for the rest

I did not hear it clearly!

[During this verseAlineandAlexishave entered at back, unobserved.

Aline and Alexis.

Alex.Oh, joy! oh, joy!The charm works well,And all are now united.Ali.The blind young boyObeys the spell,Their troth they all have plighted!

Alex.Oh, joy! oh, joy!The charm works well,And all are now united.

Alex.Oh, joy! oh, joy!

The charm works well,

And all are now united.

Ali.The blind young boyObeys the spell,Their troth they all have plighted!

Ali.The blind young boy

Obeys the spell,

Their troth they all have plighted!

Ensemble.

[All, exceptAlexisandAline, dance off to symphony.

Ali.How joyful they all seem in their new-found happiness! The whole village has paired off in the happiest manner. And yet not a match has been made that the hollow world would not consider ill-advised!

Alex.But we are wiser—far wiser—than the world. Observe the good that will become of these ill-assorted unions. The miserly wife will check the reckless expenditure of her too frivolous consort, the wealthy husband will shower innumerable bonnets on his penniless bride, and the young and lively spousewill cheer the declining days of her aged partner with comic songs unceasing!

Ali.What a delightful prospect for him!

Alex.But one thing remains to be done, that my happiness may be complete. We must drink the philtre ourselves, that I may be assured of your love for ever and ever.

Ali.Oh, Alexis, do you doubt me? Is it necessary that such love as ours should be secured by artificial means? Oh no, no, no!

Alex.My dear Aline, time works terrible changes, and I want to place our love beyond the chance of change.

Ali.Alexis, it is already far beyond that chance. Have faith in me, for my love can never, never change!

Alex.Then you absolutely refuse?

Ali.I do. If you cannot trust me, you have no right to love me—no right to be lovedbyme.

Alex.Enough, Aline; I shall know how to interpret this refusal.

Ballad.—Alexis.

Thou hast the power thy vaunted loveTo sanctify, all doubt above,Despite the gathering shade:To make that love of thine so sureThat, come what may, it must endureTill time itself shall fade.Thy love is but a flowerThat fades within the hour!If such thy love, oh, shame!Call it by other name—It is not love!Thine is the power, and thine alone,To place me on so proud a throneThat kings might envy me!A priceless throne of love untold,More rare than orient pearl and gold.But no! Thou wouldst be free!Such love is like the rayThat dies within the day!If such thy love, oh, shame!Call it by other name—It is not love!

Thou hast the power thy vaunted love

To sanctify, all doubt above,

Despite the gathering shade:

To make that love of thine so sure

That, come what may, it must endure

Till time itself shall fade.

Thy love is but a flower

That fades within the hour!

If such thy love, oh, shame!

Call it by other name—

It is not love!

Thine is the power, and thine alone,To place me on so proud a throneThat kings might envy me!A priceless throne of love untold,More rare than orient pearl and gold.But no! Thou wouldst be free!Such love is like the rayThat dies within the day!If such thy love, oh, shame!Call it by other name—It is not love!

Thine is the power, and thine alone,

To place me on so proud a throne

That kings might envy me!

A priceless throne of love untold,

More rare than orient pearl and gold.

But no! Thou wouldst be free!

Such love is like the ray

That dies within the day!

If such thy love, oh, shame!

Call it by other name—

It is not love!

EnterDr. Daly.

Dr. D.(musing). It is singular—it is very singular. It has overthrown all my calculations. It is distinctly opposed to the doctrine of averages. I cannot understand it.

Ali.Dear Dr. Daly, what has puzzled you?

Dr. D.My dear, this village has not hitherto been addicted to marrying and giving in marriage. Hitherto the youths of this village have not been enterprising, and the maidens have been distinctly coy. Judge then of my surprise when I tell you that the whole village came to me in a body just now, and implored me to join them in matrimony with as little delay as possible. Even your excellent father has hinted to me that before very long it is not unlikely that he, also, may change his condition.

Ali.Oh, Alexis—do you hear that? Are you not delighted?

Alex.Yes. I confess that a union between your mother and my father would be a happy circumstance indeed. (Crossing toDr. Daly.) My dear sir, the news that you bring us is very gratifying.

Dr. D.Yes—still, in my eyes, it has its melancholy side. This universal marrying recalls the happy days—now, alas! gone for ever—when I myself might have—but tush! I am puling. I am too old to marry—and yet, within the last half-hour, I have greatly yearned for companionship. I never remarked it before, but the young maidens of this village are very comely. So likewise are the middle-aged. Also the elderly. All are comely—and (with a deep sigh) all are engaged!

Ali.Here comes your father.

EnterSir MarmadukewithMrs. Partlet, arm-in-arm.

Ali. and Alex.(aside). Mrs. Partlet!

Sir M.Dr. Daly, give me joy. Alexis, my dear boy, you will, I am sure, be pleased to hear that my declining days are not unlikely to be solaced by the companionship of this good, virtuous, and amiable woman.

Alex.(rather taken aback). My dear father, this is not altogether what I expected. I am certainly taken somewhat by surprise. Still it can hardly be necessary to assure you that any wife of yours is a mother of mine. (Aside toAline.) It is not quite what I could have wished.

Mrs. P.(crossing toAlexis). Oh, sir, I entreat your forgiveness. I am aware that socially I am not everything that could be desired, nor am I blessed with an abundance of worldly goods, but I can at least confer on your estimable father the great and priceless dowry of a true, tender, and loving heart.

Alex.(coldly). I do not question it. After all, a faithful love is the true source of every earthly joy.

Sir M.I knew that my boy would not blame his poor father for acting on the impulse of a heart that has never yet misled him. Zorah is not, perhaps, what the world call beautiful——

Dr. D.Still she is comely—distinctly comely! (Sighs.)

Ali.Zorah is very good, and very clean and honest, and quite sober in her habits; and that is worth far more than beauty, dear Sir Marmaduke.

Dr. D.Yes; beauty will fade and perish, but personal cleanliness is practically undying, for it can be renewed whenever it discovers symptoms of decay. My dear Sir Marmaduke, I heartily congratulate you. (Sighs.)

Quintette.

Alexis, Aline, Sir Marmaduke, Zorah, and Dr. Daly.

Alex.I rejoice that it’s decided.Happy now will be his life,For my father is providedWith a true and tender wife!Ensemble.She will tend him, nurse him, mend him,Air his linen, dry his tears.Bless the thoughtful fates that send himSuch a wife to soothe his years!Ali.No young giddy thoughtless maiden,Full of graces, airs, and jeers—But a sober widow, ladenWith the weight of fifty years!Sir M.No high-born exacting beauty,Blazing like a jewelled sun—But a wife who’ll do her duty,As that duty should be done!Mrs. P.I’m no saucy minx and giddy—Hussies such as they abound—But a clean and tidy widdy,Well be-known for miles around!Dr. D.All the village now have mated,All are happy as can be—I to live alone am fated:No one’s left to marry me!Ensemble.She will tend him, etc.

Alex.I rejoice that it’s decided.Happy now will be his life,For my father is providedWith a true and tender wife!

Alex.I rejoice that it’s decided.

Happy now will be his life,

For my father is provided

With a true and tender wife!

Ensemble.She will tend him, nurse him, mend him,Air his linen, dry his tears.Bless the thoughtful fates that send himSuch a wife to soothe his years!

Ensemble.She will tend him, nurse him, mend him,

Air his linen, dry his tears.

Bless the thoughtful fates that send him

Such a wife to soothe his years!

Ali.No young giddy thoughtless maiden,Full of graces, airs, and jeers—But a sober widow, ladenWith the weight of fifty years!

Ali.No young giddy thoughtless maiden,

Full of graces, airs, and jeers—

But a sober widow, laden

With the weight of fifty years!

Sir M.No high-born exacting beauty,Blazing like a jewelled sun—But a wife who’ll do her duty,As that duty should be done!

Sir M.No high-born exacting beauty,

Blazing like a jewelled sun—

But a wife who’ll do her duty,

As that duty should be done!

Mrs. P.I’m no saucy minx and giddy—Hussies such as they abound—But a clean and tidy widdy,Well be-known for miles around!

Mrs. P.I’m no saucy minx and giddy—

Hussies such as they abound—

But a clean and tidy widdy,

Well be-known for miles around!

Dr. D.All the village now have mated,All are happy as can be—I to live alone am fated:No one’s left to marry me!

Dr. D.All the village now have mated,

All are happy as can be—

I to live alone am fated:

No one’s left to marry me!

Ensemble.She will tend him, etc.

[ExeuntSir MarmadukeandMrs. Partlet,AlineandAlexis.Dr. Dalylooks after them sentimentally, then exit with a sigh.Mr. Wells,whohas overheard part of this Quintette, and who has remained concealed behind the market cross, comes down as they go off.

Recitative.—Mr. Wells.

Oh, I have wrought much evil with my spells!An ill I can’t undo!This is too bad of you, J. W. Wells—What wrong have they done you?And see—another love-lorn lady comes—Alas, poor stricken dame!A gentle pensiveness her life benumbs—And mine, alone, the blame!

Oh, I have wrought much evil with my spells!

An ill I can’t undo!

This is too bad of you, J. W. Wells—

What wrong have they done you?

And see—another love-lorn lady comes—

Alas, poor stricken dame!

A gentle pensiveness her life benumbs—

And mine, alone, the blame!

(Sits at foot of market cross.)

Lady Sangazureenters. She is very melancholy.

Lady S.Alas! ah me! and well-a-day!I sigh for love, and well I may,For I am very old and gray.But stay!

Lady S.Alas! ah me! and well-a-day!

I sigh for love, and well I may,

For I am very old and gray.

But stay!

(SeesMr. Wells, and becomes fascinated by him.)

Recitative.

Lady S.What is this fairy form I see before me?Mr. W.Oh, horrible!—she’s going to adore me!This last catastrophe is overpowering!Lady S.Why do you glare at me with visage lowering?For pity’s sake, recoil not thus from me!Mr. W.My lady, leave me—this may never be!

Lady S.What is this fairy form I see before me?

Mr. W.Oh, horrible!—she’s going to adore me!This last catastrophe is overpowering!

Mr. W.Oh, horrible!—she’s going to adore me!

This last catastrophe is overpowering!

Lady S.Why do you glare at me with visage lowering?For pity’s sake, recoil not thus from me!

Lady S.Why do you glare at me with visage lowering?

For pity’s sake, recoil not thus from me!

Mr. W.My lady, leave me—this may never be!

Duet.—Lady Sangazure and Mr. Wells.

Mr. W.Hate me! I drop my H’s—have through life!Lady S.Love me! I’ll drop them too!Mr. W.Hate me! I always eat peas with a knife!Lady S.Love me! I’ll eat like you!Mr. W.Hate me! I spend the day at Rosherville!Lady S.Love me! that joy I’ll share!Mr. W.Hate me! I often roll down One Tree Hill!Lady S.Love me! I’ll join you there!Lady S.Love me! my prejudices I will drop!Mr. W.Hate me! that’s not enough!Lady S.Love me! I’ll come and help you in the shop!Mr. W.Hate me! the life is rough!Lady S.Love me! my grammar I will all forswear!Mr. W.Hate me! abjure my lot!Lady S.Love me! I’ll stick sunflowers in my hair!Mr. W.Hate me! they’ll suit you not!

Mr. W.Hate me! I drop my H’s—have through life!

Lady S.Love me! I’ll drop them too!

Mr. W.Hate me! I always eat peas with a knife!

Lady S.Love me! I’ll eat like you!

Mr. W.Hate me! I spend the day at Rosherville!

Lady S.Love me! that joy I’ll share!

Mr. W.Hate me! I often roll down One Tree Hill!

Lady S.Love me! I’ll join you there!

Lady S.Love me! my prejudices I will drop!

Mr. W.Hate me! that’s not enough!

Lady S.Love me! I’ll come and help you in the shop!

Mr. W.Hate me! the life is rough!

Lady S.Love me! my grammar I will all forswear!

Mr. W.Hate me! abjure my lot!

Lady S.Love me! I’ll stick sunflowers in my hair!

Mr. W.Hate me! they’ll suit you not!

Recitative.—Mr. Wells.

At what I am going to say be not enraged—I may not love you—for I am engaged!Lady S.(horrified). Engaged!Mr. W.Engaged!To a maiden fair,With bright brown hair,And a sweet and simple smile,Who waits for meBy the sounding sea,On a South Pacific isle.(Aside.)A lie! No maiden waits me there!Lady S.(mournfully). She has bright brown hair;Mr. W.(aside). A lie! No maiden smiles on me!Lady S.(mournfully). By the sounding sea!

At what I am going to say be not enraged—I may not love you—for I am engaged!

At what I am going to say be not enraged—

I may not love you—for I am engaged!

Lady S.(horrified). Engaged!

Mr. W.Engaged!To a maiden fair,With bright brown hair,And a sweet and simple smile,Who waits for meBy the sounding sea,On a South Pacific isle.

Mr. W.Engaged!

To a maiden fair,

With bright brown hair,

And a sweet and simple smile,

Who waits for me

By the sounding sea,

On a South Pacific isle.

(Aside.)A lie! No maiden waits me there!

Lady S.(mournfully). She has bright brown hair;

Mr. W.(aside). A lie! No maiden smiles on me!

Lady S.(mournfully). By the sounding sea!

Ensemble.

Both.The family vault—the family vault.{your}It will certainly be {my} fault,{ I go } {my}If {she goes} to {her} family vault,{my}To bury {her} life-long woe!

Both.The family vault—the family vault.

{your}

It will certainly be {my} fault,

{ I go } {my}

If {she goes} to {her} family vault,

{my}

To bury {her} life-long woe!

[ExitLady Sangazure, in great anguish.

Recitative.—Mr. Wells.

Oh, hideous doom—to scatter desolation,And sow the seeds of sorrow far and wide!To fostermésalliancesthrough the nation,And drive high-born old dames to suicide!Shall I subject myself to reprobationBy leaving her in solitude to pine?No! come what may, I’ll make her reparation,So, aged lady, take me!—I am thine!

Oh, hideous doom—to scatter desolation,

And sow the seeds of sorrow far and wide!

To fostermésalliancesthrough the nation,

And drive high-born old dames to suicide!

Shall I subject myself to reprobation

By leaving her in solitude to pine?

No! come what may, I’ll make her reparation,

So, aged lady, take me!—I am thine!

[ExitMr. Wells.

EnterAline.

Ali.This was to have been the happiest day of my life—but I am very far from happy! Alexis insists that I shall taste the philtre—and when I try to persuade him that to do so would be an insult to my pure and lasting love, he tells me that I object because I do not desire that my love for him shall be eternal. Well (sighing and producing a phial), I can at least prove to him that in that he is unjust!

Recitative.

Alexis! Doubt me not, my loved one! See,Thine uttered will is sovereign law to me!All fear—all thought of ill I cast away!It is my darling’s will, and I obey! (She drinks the philtre.)The fearful deed is done,My love is near!I go to meet my ownIn trembling fear!If o’er us aught of illShould cast a shade.It was my darling’s will,And I obeyed!

Alexis! Doubt me not, my loved one! See,

Thine uttered will is sovereign law to me!

All fear—all thought of ill I cast away!

It is my darling’s will, and I obey! (She drinks the philtre.)

The fearful deed is done,

My love is near!

I go to meet my own

In trembling fear!

If o’er us aught of ill

Should cast a shade.

It was my darling’s will,

And I obeyed!

[AsAlineis going off, she meetsDr. Daly, entering pensively. He is playing on a flageolet. Under the influence of the spell she at once becomes strangely fascinated by him, and exhibits every symptom of being hopelessly in love with him.

Song.—Dr. Daly.

Oh, my voice is sad and low,And with timid step I go—For with load of love o’erladenI enquire of every maiden,“Will you wed me, little lady?Will you share my cottage shady?”Little lady answers, “No!Thank you for your kindly proffer—Good your heart, and full your coffer;Yet I must decline your offer—I’m engaged to So-and-so!”So-and-so!So-and-so! (flageolet).She’s engaged to So-and-so!What a rogue young hearts to pillage!What a worker on Love’s tillage!Every maiden in the villageIs engaged to So-and-so!So-and-so!So-and-so! (flageolet).All engaged to So-and-so!

Oh, my voice is sad and low,

And with timid step I go—

For with load of love o’erladen

I enquire of every maiden,

“Will you wed me, little lady?

Will you share my cottage shady?”

Little lady answers, “No!

Thank you for your kindly proffer—

Good your heart, and full your coffer;

Yet I must decline your offer—

I’m engaged to So-and-so!”

So-and-so!

So-and-so! (flageolet).

She’s engaged to So-and-so!

What a rogue young hearts to pillage!

What a worker on Love’s tillage!

Every maiden in the village

Is engaged to So-and-so!

So-and-so!

So-and-so! (flageolet).

All engaged to So-and-so!

[At the end of the songDr. DalyseesAline, and, under the influence of the potion, falls in love with her.

Ensemble.—Aline and Dr. Daly.

Oh, joyous boon! oh, mad delight!Oh, sun and moon! oh, day and night!Rejoice, rejoice with me!Proclaim our joy, ye birds above—Ye brooklets, murmur forth our love,In choral ecstasy:Ali.Oh, joyous boon!Dr. D.Oh, mad delight!Ali.Oh, sun and moon!Dr. D.Oh, day and night!Both.Ye birds and brooks and fruitful trees,With choral joy delight the breeze—Rejoice, rejoice with me!

Oh, joyous boon! oh, mad delight!Oh, sun and moon! oh, day and night!Rejoice, rejoice with me!Proclaim our joy, ye birds above—Ye brooklets, murmur forth our love,In choral ecstasy:

Oh, joyous boon! oh, mad delight!

Oh, sun and moon! oh, day and night!

Rejoice, rejoice with me!

Proclaim our joy, ye birds above—

Ye brooklets, murmur forth our love,

In choral ecstasy:

Ali.Oh, joyous boon!

Dr. D.Oh, mad delight!

Ali.Oh, sun and moon!

Dr. D.Oh, day and night!

Both.Ye birds and brooks and fruitful trees,With choral joy delight the breeze—Rejoice, rejoice with me!

Both.Ye birds and brooks and fruitful trees,

With choral joy delight the breeze—

Rejoice, rejoice with me!

EnterAlexis.

Recitative.

Alex.(with rapture). Aline, my only love, my happiness!The philtre—you have tasted it?Ali.(with confusion).Yes! Yes!Alex.Oh, joy, mine, mine for ever and for aye.[Embraces her.Ali.Alexis, don’t do that—you must not![Dr. Daly interposes between them.Alex.(amazed.)Why?

Alex.(with rapture). Aline, my only love, my happiness!The philtre—you have tasted it?

Alex.(with rapture). Aline, my only love, my happiness!

The philtre—you have tasted it?

Ali.(with confusion).Yes! Yes!

Alex.Oh, joy, mine, mine for ever and for aye.[Embraces her.

Alex.Oh, joy, mine, mine for ever and for aye.

[Embraces her.

Ali.Alexis, don’t do that—you must not![Dr. Daly interposes between them.

Ali.Alexis, don’t do that—you must not!

[Dr. Daly interposes between them.

Alex.(amazed.)Why?

Duet.—Aline and Dr. Daly.

Ali.Alas! that lovers thus should meet:Oh, pity, pity me!Oh, charge me not with cold deceit;Oh, pity, pity me!You bade me drink—with trembling aweI drank, and, by the potion’s law,I loved the very first I saw!Oh, pity, pity me!Dr. D.My dear young friend, consolèd be—We pity, pity you.In this I’m not an agent free—We pity, pity you.Some most extraordinary spellO’er us has cast its magic fell—The consequence I need not tell.We pity, pity you.

Ali.Alas! that lovers thus should meet:

Oh, pity, pity me!

Oh, charge me not with cold deceit;

Oh, pity, pity me!

You bade me drink—with trembling awe

I drank, and, by the potion’s law,

I loved the very first I saw!

Oh, pity, pity me!

Dr. D.My dear young friend, consolèd be—We pity, pity you.In this I’m not an agent free—We pity, pity you.Some most extraordinary spellO’er us has cast its magic fell—The consequence I need not tell.We pity, pity you.

Dr. D.My dear young friend, consolèd be—

We pity, pity you.

In this I’m not an agent free—

We pity, pity you.

Some most extraordinary spell

O’er us has cast its magic fell—

The consequence I need not tell.

We pity, pity you.

Ensemble.

Some most extraordinary spell{us}O’er {them} has cast its magic fell—{we}The consequence {they} need not tell.{We}{thee!{They} pity, pity {me!Alex.(furiously). False one, begone—I spurn thee!To thy new lover turn thee!Thy perfidy all men shall know.Ali.(wildly).I could not help it!Alex.(calling off).Come one, come all!Dr. D.We could not help it!Alex.(calling off).Obey my call!Ali.(wildly).I could not help it!Alex.(calling off).Come, hither, run!Dr. D.We could not help it!Alex.(calling off).Come, every one!

Some most extraordinary spell{us}O’er {them} has cast its magic fell—{we}The consequence {they} need not tell.{We}{thee!{They} pity, pity {me!

Some most extraordinary spell

{us}

O’er {them} has cast its magic fell—

{we}

The consequence {they} need not tell.

{We}{thee!

{They} pity, pity {me!

Alex.(furiously). False one, begone—I spurn thee!To thy new lover turn thee!Thy perfidy all men shall know.

Alex.(furiously). False one, begone—I spurn thee!

To thy new lover turn thee!

Thy perfidy all men shall know.

Ali.(wildly).I could not help it!

Alex.(calling off).Come one, come all!

Dr. D.We could not help it!

Alex.(calling off).Obey my call!

Ali.(wildly).I could not help it!

Alex.(calling off).Come, hither, run!

Dr. D.We could not help it!

Alex.(calling off).Come, every one!

Enter all the characters exceptLady SangazureandMr. Wells.

Chorus.

Oh, what is the matter, and what is the clatter?He’s glowering at her, and threatens a blow!Oh, why does he batter the girl he did flatter?And why does the latter recoil from him so?

Oh, what is the matter, and what is the clatter?

He’s glowering at her, and threatens a blow!

Oh, why does he batter the girl he did flatter?

And why does the latter recoil from him so?

Recitative.—Alexis.

Prepare for sad surprises—My love Aline despises!No thought of sorrow shames her—Another lover claims her!Be his, false girl, for better or for worse—But, ere you leave me, may a lover’s curse——

Prepare for sad surprises—

My love Aline despises!

No thought of sorrow shames her—

Another lover claims her!

Be his, false girl, for better or for worse—

But, ere you leave me, may a lover’s curse——

Dr. D.(coming forward). Hold! Be just. This poor child drank the philtre at your instance. She hurried off to meet you—but, most unhappily, she met me instead. As you had administered the potion to both of us, the result was inevitable. But fear nothing from me—I will be no man’s rival. I shall quit the country at once—and bury my sorrow in the congenial gloom of a colonial bishopric.

Alex.My excellent old friend! (Taking his hand—then turning toMr. Wells, who has entered withLady Sangazure.) Oh, Mr. Wells, what, what is to be done?

Mr. W.I do not know—and yet—there is one means by which this spell may be removed.

Alex.Name it—oh, name it!

Mr. W.Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the Co.

Alex.True. Well, I am ready!

Ali.No, no—Alexis—it must not be! Mr. Wells, if he must die that all may be restored to their old loves, what is to become of me? I should be left out in the cold, with no love to be restored to!

Mr. W.True—I did not think of that. (To the others.) My friends, I appeal to you, and I will leave the decision in your hands.

Finale.

Mr. W.Or I or heMust die!Which shall it be?Reply!Sir M.Die thou!Thou art the cause of all offending!Lady S.Die thou!Yield thou to this decree unbending!All.Die thou!Mr. W.So be it! I submit! My fate is sealed.To popular opinion thus I yield! (Falls.)Be happy all—leave me to my despair—I go—it matters not with whom—or where! (Gong.)

Mr. W.Or I or heMust die!Which shall it be?Reply!

Mr. W.Or I or he

Must die!

Which shall it be?

Reply!

Sir M.Die thou!Thou art the cause of all offending!

Sir M.Die thou!

Thou art the cause of all offending!

Lady S.Die thou!Yield thou to this decree unbending!

Lady S.Die thou!

Yield thou to this decree unbending!

All.Die thou!

Mr. W.So be it! I submit! My fate is sealed.To popular opinion thus I yield! (Falls.)Be happy all—leave me to my despair—I go—it matters not with whom—or where! (Gong.)

Mr. W.So be it! I submit! My fate is sealed.

To popular opinion thus I yield! (Falls.)

Be happy all—leave me to my despair—

I go—it matters not with whom—or where! (Gong.)

[All quit their present partners, and rejoin their old lovers.Sir MarmadukeleavesMrs. Partlet, and goes toLady Sangazure.AlineleavesDr. Daly, and goes toAlexis.Dr. DalyleavesAline, and goes toConstance.NotaryleavesConstance, and goes toMrs. Partlet. All theChorusmake a corresponding change.

All.

Gentlemen.Oh, my adored one!Ladies.Unmingled joy!Gentlemen.Ecstatic rapture!Ladies.Beloved boy! (They embrace.)Sir M.Come to my mansion, all of you! At leastWe’ll crown our rapture with another feast.

Gentlemen.Oh, my adored one!

Ladies.Unmingled joy!

Gentlemen.Ecstatic rapture!

Ladies.Beloved boy! (They embrace.)

Sir M.Come to my mansion, all of you! At leastWe’ll crown our rapture with another feast.

Sir M.Come to my mansion, all of you! At least

We’ll crown our rapture with another feast.

Ensemble.

Sir Marmaduke, Lady Sangazure, Alexis, and Aline.

Now to the banquet we press;Now for the eggs and the ham,Now for the mustard and cress,Now for the strawberry jam!Chorus.Now to the banquet, etc.

Now to the banquet we press;

Now for the eggs and the ham,

Now for the mustard and cress,

Now for the strawberry jam!

Chorus.Now to the banquet, etc.

Dr. Daly, Constance, Notary, and Mrs. Partlet.

Now for the tea of our host,Now for the rollicking bun,Now for the muffin and toast,Now for the gay Sally Lunn!Chorus.Now for the tea, etc.

Now for the tea of our host,

Now for the rollicking bun,

Now for the muffin and toast,

Now for the gay Sally Lunn!

Chorus.Now for the tea, etc.

(General Dance.)

H.M.S. PINAFORE;OR,THE LASS THAT LOVED A SAILOR.AN ENTIRELY ORIGINAL NAUTICAL COMIC OPERA,IN TWO ACTS.First produced at the Opera Comique Theatre, byMr. R. D’Oyly Carte, on Saturday, May 25, 1878.DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.The Rt. Hon. Sir Joseph Porter, K.C.B.,First Lord of the Admiralty.Captain Corcoran,Commanding H.M.S. Pinafore.Ralph Rackstraw,Able Seaman.Dick Deadeye,Able Seaman.Bill Bobstay,Boatswain’s Mate.Bob Becket,Carpenter’s Mate.Tom Tucker,Midshipmite.Sergeant of Marines.Josephine,the Captain’s Daughter.Hebe,Sir Joseph’s First Cousin.Little Buttercup,a Portsmouth Bumboat Woman.First Lord’s Sisters,his Cousins,his Aunts,Sailors,Marines,etc.SCENE: QUARTER-DECK OF H.M.S. PINAFORE, OFF PORTSMOUTH.ACT I.—NOON.ACT II.—NIGHT.

AN ENTIRELY ORIGINAL NAUTICAL COMIC OPERA,IN TWO ACTS.

First produced at the Opera Comique Theatre, byMr. R. D’Oyly Carte, on Saturday, May 25, 1878.

First Lord’s Sisters,his Cousins,his Aunts,Sailors,Marines,etc.

SCENE: QUARTER-DECK OF H.M.S. PINAFORE, OFF PORTSMOUTH.

ACT I.—NOON.ACT II.—NIGHT.

H.M.S. PINAFORE;OR,THE LASS THAT LOVED A SAILOR.ACT I.Scene.—Quarter-deck of H.M.S. Pinafore. View of Portsmouth in distance.Sailors, led byBoatswain, discovered cleaning brasswork, splicing rope, etc.Chorus.We sail the ocean blue,And our saucy ship’s a beauty;We’re sober men, and true,And attentive to our duty.When the balls whistle free o’er the bright blue sea,We stand to our guns all day;When at anchor we ride on the Portsmouth tide,We have plenty of time to play.EnterLittle Buttercup, with large basket on her arm.Recitative.Hail, men-o’-war’s men—safeguards of your nation,Here is an end, at last, of all privation;You’ve got your pay—spare all you can affordTo welcome Little Buttercup on board.Aria.For I’m called Little Buttercup, dear Little Buttercup,Though I could never tell why,But still I’m called Buttercup, poor Little Buttercup,Sweet Little Buttercup, I.I’ve snuff, and tobaccy, and excellent jacky;I’ve scissors, and watches, and knives;I’ve ribbons and laces to set off the facesOf pretty young sweethearts and wives.I’ve treacle and toffee and excellent coffee,Soft tommy and succulent chops;I’ve chickens and conies and pretty polonies,And excellent peppermint drops.Then buy of your Buttercup—dear Little Buttercup,Sailors should never be shy;So buy of your Buttercup—poor Little Buttercup,Come, of your Buttercup buy!Boat.Ay, Little Buttercup—and well called—for you’re the rosiest, the roundest, and the reddest beauty in all Spithead.But.Red, am I? and round—and rosy! Maybe, for I have dissembled well! But hark ye, my merry friend—hast ever thought that beneath a gay and frivolous exterior there may lurk a cankerworm which is slowly but surely eating its way into one’s very heart?Boat.No, my lass, I can’t say I’ve ever thought that.EnterDick Deadeye. He pushes throughSailors.Dick.Ihave thought it often. (All recoil from him.)But.Yes, you look like it! What’s the matter with the man? Isn’t he well?Boat.Don’t take no heed ofhim; that’s only poor Dick Deadeye.Dick.I say—it’s a beast of a name, ain’t it—Dick Deadeye?But.It’s not a nice name.Dick.I’m ugly too, ain’t I?But.You are certainly plain.Dick.And I’m three-cornered too, ain’t I?But.You are rather triangular.Dick.Ha! ha! That’s it. I’m ugly, and they hate me for it; for you all hate me, don’t you?Boat.(crossing). Well, Dick, we wouldn’t go for to hurt any fellow-creature’s feelings, but you can’t expect a chap with such a name as Dick Deadeye to be a popular character—now, can you?Dick.No.Boat.It’s asking too much, ain’t it?Dick.It is. From such a face and form as mine the noblest sentiments sound like the black utterances of a depraved imagination. It is human nature—I am resigned.Recitative.But.(looking down hatchway).But, tell me—who’s the youth whose faltering feetWith difficulty bear him on his course?Boat.(crossing).That is the smartest lad in all the fleet—Ralph Rackstraw!But.Ha! that name! Remorse! remorse!EnterRalphfrom hatchway.Madrigal.—Ralph.The nightingaleLoved the pale moon’s bright ray,And told his taleIn his own melodious way!He sang “Ah, well-a-day!”All.He sang “Ah, well-a-day!”The lowly valeFor the mountain vainly sighed;To his humble wailThe echoing hills replied.They sang “Ah, well-a-day!”All.They sang “Ah, well-a-day!”Recitative.I know the value of a kindly chorus,But choruses yield little consolation,When we have pain and trouble too before us!I love—and love, alas, above my station!But.(aside). He loves—and loves a lass above his station!All(aside). Yes, yes, the lass is much above his station!Ballad.—Ralph.A maiden fair to see,The pearl of minstrelsy,A bud of blushing beauty;For whom proud nobles sigh,And with each other vie,To do her menial’s duty.All.To do her menial’s duty.A suitor, lowly born,With hopeless passion torn,And poor beyond concealing,Has dared for her to pineAt whose exalted shrineA world of wealth is kneeling.All.A world of wealth is kneeling!Unlearnèd he in aughtSave that which love has taught.(For love had been his tutor)Oh, pity, pity me—Our captain’s daughter she,And I that lowly suitor!All.And he that lowly suitor![ExitLittle Buttercup.Boat.Ah, my poor lad, you’ve climbed too high: our worthy captain’s child won’t have nothin’ to say to a poor chap like you. Will she, lads?Dick.No, no, captains’ daughters don’t marry foremast hands.All(recoiling from him). Shame! shame!Boat.(crossing). Dick Deadeye, them sentiments o’ yourn are a disgrace to our common natur’.Ralph.But it’s a strange anomaly, that the daughter of a man who hails from the quarter-deck may not love another who lays out on the fore-yard arm. For a man is but a man, whether he hoists his flag at the maintruck or his slacks on the maindeck.Dick.Ah, it’s a queer world!Ralph.Dick Deadeye, I have no desire to press hardly on you, but such a revolutionary sentiment is enough to make an honest sailor shudder.Boat.(who has gone on poop-deck, returns). My lads, our gallant captain has come on deck; let us greet him as so brave an officer and so gallant a seaman deserves.Recitative.Capt.My gallant crew, good morning.All(saluting).Sir, good morning!Capt.I hope you’re all well.All(as before).Quite well; and you, sir?Capt.I am reasonable in health, and happyTo meet you all once more.All(as before).You do us proud, sir!Song.—Captain.Capt.I am the Captain of the Pinafore!All.And a right good captain, too!Capt.You’re very, very good,And be it understoodI command a right good crew.All.We’re very, very good,And be it understoodHe commands a right good crew.Capt.Though related to a peer,I can hand, reef, and steer,And ship a selvagee;I am never known to quailAt the fury of a gale,And I’m never, never sick at sea!All.What, never?Capt.No, never!All.What,never?Capt.Hardly ever!All.He’s hardly ever sick at sea!Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,For the hardy Captain of the Pinafore!Capt.I do my best to satisfy you all—All.And with you we’re quite content.Capt.You’re exceedingly polite,And I think it only rightTo return the compliment.All.We’re exceedingly polite.And he thinks it’s only rightTo return the compliment.Capt.Bad language or abuse,I never, never use,Whatever the emergency;Though, “bother it,” I mayOccasionally say,I never use a big, big D——All.What, never?Capt.No, never!All.What,never?Capt.Hardly ever!All.Hardly ever swears a big, big D——Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,For the well-bred Captain of the Pinafore![After song exeunt all butCaptain.EnterLittle Buttercup.Recitative.But.Sir, you are sad. The silent eloquenceOf yonder tear that trembles on your eyelashProclaims a sorrow far more deep than common;Confide in me—fear not—I am a mother!Capt.Yes, Little Buttercup, I’m sad and sorry—My daughter, Josephine, the fairest flowerThat ever blossomed on ancestral timber,Is sought in marriage by Sir Joseph Porter,Our Admiralty’s First Lord, but for some reason,She does not seem to tackle kindly to it.But.(with emotion).Ah, poor Sir Joseph! Ah, I know too wellThe anguish of a heart that loves but vainly!But see, here comes your most attractive daughter.I go—Farewell![Exit.Capt.(looking after her). A plump and pleasing person!EnterJosephineon poop. She comes down, twining some flowers which she carries in a small basket.Ballad.—Josephine.Sorry her lot who loves too well,Heavy the heart that hopes but vainly,Sad are the sighs that own the spellUttered by eyes that speak too plainly;Heavy the sorrow that bows the headWhen love is alive and hope is dead!Sad is the hour when sets the sun—Dark is the night to earth’s poor daughters,When to the ark the wearied oneFlies from the empty waste of waters!Heavy the sorrow that bows the headWhen love is alive and hope is dead!Capt.My child, I grieve to see that you are a prey to melancholy. You should look your best to-day, for Sir Joseph Porter, K.C.B., will be here this afternoon to claim your promised hand.Jos.Ah, father, your words cut me to the quick. I can esteem—reverence—venerate Sir Joseph, for he is a great and good man; but oh, I cannot love him! My heart is already given.Capt.(aside). It is, then, as I feared. (Aloud.) Given? And to whom? Not to some gilded lordling?Jos.No, father—the object of my love is no lordling. Oh, pity me, for he is but a humble sailor on board your own ship!Capt.Impossible!Jos.Yes, it is true—too true.Capt.A common sailor? Oh, fie!Jos.I blush for the weakness that allows me to cherish such a passion. I hate myself when I think of the depth to which I have stooped in permitting myself to think tenderly ofone so ignobly born, but I love him! I love him! I love him! (Weeps.)Capt.Come, my child, let us talk this over. In a matter of the heart I would not coerce my daughter—I attach but little value to rank or wealth, but the line must be drawn somewhere. A man in that station may be brave and worthy, but at every step he would commit solecisms that society would never pardon.Jos.Oh, I have thought of this night and day. But fear not, father. I have a heart, and therefore I love; but I am your daughter, and therefore I am proud. Though I carry my love with me to the tomb, he shall never, never know it.Capt.Youaremy daughter, after all. But see, Sir Joseph’s barge approaches, manned by twelve trusty oarsmen and accompanied by the admiring crowd of female relatives that attend him wherever he goes. Retire, my daughter, to your cabin—take this, his photograph, with you—it may help to bring you to a more reasonable frame of mind.Jos.My own thoughtful father.[ExitJosephine.Barcarolle(without.)Over the bright blue seaComes Sir Joseph Porter, K.C.B.,Wherever he may goBang-bang the loud nine-pounders go!Shout o’er the bright blue seaFor Sir Joseph Porter, K.C.B.[During this theCrewhave entered on tiptoe, listening attentively to the song.Chorus of Sailors.We sail the ocean blue,And our saucy ship’s a beauty;We’re sober men, and true,And attentive to our duty.We’re smart and sober men,And quite devoid of fe-ar,In all the Royal N.None are so smart as we are.EnterSir Joseph’sFemale Relatives. They dance round stage.Rel.Gaily tripping,Lightly skipping,Flock the maidens to the shipping.Sail.Flags and guns and pennants dippingAll the ladies love the shipping.Rel.Sailors sprightlyAlways rightlyWelcome ladies so politely.Sail.Ladies who can smile so brightly,Sailors welcome most politely.EnterSir JosephwithCousin Hebe.Capt.(from poop). Now give three cheers, I’ll lead the way.All.Hurrah! hurrah! hurrah! hurray! (Repeat.)Song.—Sir Joseph.I am the monarch of the sea,The Ruler of the Queen’s Navee,Whose praise Great Britain loudly chants.Cousin H.And we are his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!Rel.And we are his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!Sir J.When at anchor here I ride,My bosom swells with pride,And I snap my fingers at a foeman’s taunts.Cousin H.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!All.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!Sir J.But when the breezes blow,I generally go below,And seek the seclusion that a cabin grants!Cousin H.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!All.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!His sisters and his cousins,Whom he reckons up by dozens,And his aunts!Song.—Sir Joseph.When I was a lad I served a termAs office boy to an attorney’s firm.I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor,And I polished up the handle of the big front door.I polished up that handle so carefulleeThat now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee!Chorus.—He polished, etc.As office boy I made such a markThat they gave me the post of a junior clerk.I served the writs with a smile so bland,And I copied all the letters in a big round hand—I copied all the letters in a hand so free,That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee.Chorus.—He copied, etc.In serving writs I made such a nameThat an articled clerk I soon became;I wore clean collars and a brand-new suitFor the pass examination at the Institute.And that pass examination did so well for me,That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee!Chorus.—And that pass examination, etc.Of legal knowledge I acquired such a gripThat they took me into the partnership,And that junior partnership, I ween,Was the only ship that I ever had seen.But that kind of ship so suited me,That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee!Chorus.—But that kind, etc.I grew so rich that I was sentBy a pocket borough into Parliament.I always voted at my party’s call,And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.I thought so little, they rewarded meBy making me the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee!Chorus.—He thought so little, etc.Now, landsmen all, whoever you may be,If you want to rise to the top of the tree,If your soul isn’t fettered to an office stool,Be careful to be guided by this golden rule—Stick close to yourdeskaand never go to sea,And you all may be Rulers of the Queen’s Navee!Chorus.—Stick close, etc.Sir J.You’ve a remarkably fine crew, Captain Corcoran.Capt.Itisa fine crew, Sir Joseph.Sir J.(examining a very small midshipman). A British sailor is a splendid fellow, Captain Corcoran.Capt.A splendid fellow indeed, Sir Joseph.Sir J.I hope you treat your crew kindly, Captain Corcoran.Capt.Indeed, I hope so, Sir Joseph.Sir J.Never forget that they are the bulwarks of England’s greatness, Captain Corcoran.Capt.So I have always considered them, Sir Joseph.Sir J.What percentage of words are spelled phonetically? No bullying, I trust—no strong language of any kind, eh?Capt.Oh, never, Sir Joseph.Sir J.What,never?Capt.Hardly ever, Sir Joseph. They are an excellent crew, and do their work thoroughly without it.Sir J.(reproving). Don’t patronize them, sir—pray, don’t patronize them.Capt.Certainly not, Sir Joseph.Sir J.That you are their captain is an accident of birth. I cannot permit these noble fellows to be patronized because an accident of birth has placed you above them and them below you.Capt.I am the last person to insult a British sailor, Sir Joseph.Sir J.You are the last person who did, Captain Corcoran. Desire that splendid seaman to step forward.Capt.Ralph Rackstraw, come here.Sir J.(sternly). If what?Capt.I beg your pardon——Sir J.If youplease.Capt.Oh yes, of course. If youplease.[Ralphsteps forward.Sir J.You’re a remarkably fine fellow.Ralph.Yes, your honour.Sir J.And a first-rate seaman, I’ll be bound.Ralph.There’s not a smarter topman in the navy, your honour, though I say it who shouldn’t.Sir J.Not at all. Proper self-respect, nothing more. Can you dance a hornpipe?Ralph.No, your honour.Sir J.That’s a pity: all sailors should dance hornpipes. I will teach you one this evening, after dinner. Now, tell me—don’t be afraid—how does your captain treat you, eh?Ralph.A better captain don’t walk the deck, your honour.All.Hear!Sir J.Good. I like to hear you speak well of your commanding officer; I dare say he don’t deserve it, but still it does you credit. Can you sing?Ralph.I can hum a little, your honour.Sir J.Then hum this at your leisure. (Giving him MS. music.) It is a song that I have composed for the use of the Royal Navy. It is designed to encourage independence of thought and action in the lower branches of the service, and to teach the principle that a British sailor is any man’s equal, excepting mine. Now, Captain Corcoran, a word with you in your cabin, on a tender and sentimental subject.Capt.Ay, ay, Sir Joseph. Boatswain, in commemoration of this joyous occupation, see that extra grog is served out to the ship’s company at one bell.Boat.Beg pardon. If what, your honour?Capt.If what? I don’t think I understand you.Boat.If youplease, your honour.Capt.What!Sir J.The gentleman is quite right. If youplease.Capt.(stamping his foot impatiently). If youplease!Sir J.For I hold that on the seasThe expression, “If you please,”A particularly gentlemanly tone implants.Cousin H.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!All.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts![ExeuntCaptainandSir Josephinto cabin.Boat.Ah! Sir Joseph’s a true gentleman: courteous and considerate to the very humblest.Ralph.True, Boatswain; but we are not the very humblest. Sir Joseph has explained our true position to us. As he says, a British seaman is any man’s equal excepting his; and if Sir Joseph says that, is it not our duty to believe him?All.Well spoke! well spoke!Dick.You’re on a wrong tack, and so is he. He means well, but he don’t know. When people have to obey other people’s orders, equality’s out of the question.All(recoiling). Horrible! horrible!Boat.Dick Deadeye, if you go for to infuriate this here ship’s company too far, I won’t answer for being able to hold ’em in. I’m shocked! that’s what I am—shocked!Ralph(coming forward). Messmates, my mind’s made up. I’ll speak to the captain’s daughter, and tell her, like an honest man, of the honest love I have for her.All.Hurrah!Ralph.Is not my love as good as another’s? Is not my heart as true as another’s? Have I not hands and eyes and ears and limbs like another?All.Ay, ay.Ralph.True, I lack birth——Boat.You’ve a berth on board this very ship.Ralph.Well said—I had forgotten that. Messmates, what do you say? do you approve my determination?All.We do.Dick.Idon’t.Boat.What is to be done with this here hopeless chap? Let us sing him the song that Sir Joseph has kindly composed for us. Perhaps it will bring this here miserable creetur to a proper state of mind.Glee.—Ralph, Boatswain, Boatswain’s Mate, and Chorus.A British tar is a soaring soul,As free as a mountain bird!His energetic fist should be ready to resistA dictatorial word.His nose should pant and his lip should curl,His cheeks should flame and his brow should furl,His bosom should heave and his heart should glow,And his fist be ever ready for a knock-down blow.Chorus.—His nose should pant, etc.His eyes should flash with an inborn fire,His brow with scorn be wrung;He never should bow down to a domineering frown,Or the tang of a tyrant tongue.His foot should stamp and his throat should growl,His hair should twirl and his face should scowl,His eyes should flash and his breast protrude,And this should be his customary attitude! (Pose.)Chorus.—His foot should stamp, etc.[All strike attitude and then dance off to hornpipe down hatchway, exceptingRalph, who remains, leaning pensively against bulwark.EnterJosephinefrom cabin.Jos.It is useless—Sir Joseph’s attentions nauseate me. I know that he is a truly great and good man, but to me he seems tedious, fretful, and dictatorial. Yet his must be a mind of no common order, or he would not dare to teach my dear father to dance a hornpipe on the cabin table. (SeesRalph.) Ralph Rackstraw! (Overcome by emotion.)Ralph.Ay, lady—no other than poor Ralph Rackstraw!Jos.(aside). How my head beats! (Aloud.) And why poor, Ralph?Ralph.I am poor in the essence of happiness, lady—rich only in never-ending unrest. In me there meet a combination of antithetical elements which are at eternal war with one another. Driven hither by objective influences—thither by subjective emotions—wafted one moment into blazing day by mocking hope—plunged the next into the Cimmerian darkness of tangible despair, I am but a living ganglion of irreconcilable antagonisms. I hope I make myself clear, lady?Jos.Perfectly. (Aside.) His simple eloquence goes to my heart. Oh, if I dared—but no, the thought is madness!(Aloud.) Dismiss these foolish fancies, they torture you but needlessly. Come, make one effort.Ralph(aside). I will—one. (Aloud.) Josephine!Jos.(indignantly). Sir!Ralph.Ay, even though Jove’s armoury were launched at the head of the audacious mortal whose lips, unhallowed by relationship, dared to breathe that precious word, yet would I breathe it once, and then perchance be silent evermore. Josephine, in one brief breath I will concentrate the hopes, the doubts, the anxious fears of six weary months. Josephine, I am a British sailor, and I love you!Jos.Sir, this audacity! (Aside.) Oh, my heart, my heart! (Aloud.) This unwarrantable presumption on the part of a common sailor! (Aside.) Common! oh, the irony of the word! (Aloud.) Oh, sir, you forget the disparity in our ranks.Ralph.I forget nothing, haughty lady. I love you desperately, my life is in thy hand—I lay it at your feet! Give me hope, and what I lack in education and polite accomplishments, that I will endeavour to acquire. Drive me to despair, and in death alone I shall look for consolation. I am proud, and cannot stoop to implore. I have spoken, and I wait your word!Jos.You shall not wait long. Your proffered love I haughtily reject. Go, sir, and learn to cast your eyes on some village maiden in your own poor rank—they should be lowered before your captain’s daughter!Duet.-Josephine and Ralph.Jos.Refrain, audacious tar,Your suit from pressing,Remember what you are,And whom addressing!Proud lords to seek my handIn throngs assemble,The loftiest in the landBow down and tremble!(Aside.)I’d laugh my rank to scornIn union holy,Were he more highly bornOr I more lowly!Ralph.Proud lady, have your wayUnfeeling beauty!You speak and I obey,It is my duty!I am the lowliest tarThat sails the water.And you, proud maiden, areMy captain’s daughter!(Aside.)My heart with anguish tornBows down before her,She laughs my love to scorn,Yet I adore her.[Repeat refrain ensemble, then exitJosephineinto cabin.Recitative.—Ralph.Can I survive this overbearingOr live a life of mad despairing,My proffered love despised, rejected?No, no, it’s not to be expected!(Calling off.) Messmates, ahoy!Come here! Come here!EnterSailors,Hebe, andRelatives.All.Ay, ay, my boy,What cheer, what cheer?Now tell us, pray,Without delay,What does she say—What cheer, what cheer?Ralph(toCousin Hebe).The maiden treats my suit with scorn,Rejects my humble love, my lady;She says I am ignobly born,And cuts my hopes adrift, my lady.All.Oh, cruel one!Dick.She spurns your suit? Oho! Oho!I told you so, I told you so.Sail. and Rel.Shall {we} submit? Are {we} but slaves?{they}{they}Love comes alike to high and low—Britannia’s sailors rule the waves,And shall they stoop to insult? No!Dick.You must submit, you are but slaves;A lady she! Oho! Oho!You lowly toilers of the waves,She spurns you all—I told you so!(Goes off.)Ralph(drawing a pistol).My friends, my leave of life I’m taking,For oh, for oh, my heart is breaking.When I am gone, oh, prithee tellThe maid that, as I died, I loved her well! (Loading it.)All(turning away, weeping).Of life, alas! his leave he’s taking.For, ah! his faithful heart is breaking.When he is gone we’ll surely tellThe maid that, as he died, he loved her well.(During chorus he has loaded pistol.)Ralph.Be warned, my messmates allWho love in rank above you—For Josephine I fall!(Puts pistol to his head. All the sailors stop their ears.)EnterJosephine.Jos.Ah! stay your hand! I love you!All.Ah! stay your hand—she loves you!Ralph(incredulously).Loves me?Jos.Loves you!All.Yes, yes—ah, yes—she loves you!Ensemble.Sailors and Relatives, and Josephine.Oh, joy! oh, rapture unforeseen!For now the sky is all serene;The god of day—the orb of love,Has hung his ensign high above,The sky is all a-blaze.With wooing words and loving song,We’ll chase the lagging hours along.{I find}And if {we find} the maiden coy,I’ll}We’ll} murmur forth decorous joyIn dreamy roundelays!Dick Deadeye.He thinks he’s won his Josephine,But though the sky is now serene,A frowning thunderbolt aboveMay end their ill-assorted loveWhich now is all a-blaze.Our captain, ere the day is gone,Will be extremely down uponThe wicked men who art employTo make his Josephine his coyIn many various ways.Jos.This very night,Hebe.With bated breathRalph.And muffled oar—Jos.Without a light,Hebe.As still as death,Ralph.We’ll steal ashore.Jos.A clergymanRalph.Shall make us oneBoat.At half-past ten,Jos.And then we canRalph.Return, for noneBoat.Can part us then!All.This very night, etc.(Dickappears at hatchway.)Dick.Forbear, nor carry out the scheme you’ve planned,She is a lady—you a foremast hand!Remember, she’s your gallant captain’s daughter,And you the meanest slave that crawls the water!All.Back, vermin, back,Nor mock us!Back, vermin, back,You shock us!Let’s give three cheers for the sailor’s brideWho casts all thought of rank aside—Who gives up house and fortune tooFor the honest love of a sailor true!For a British tar is a soaring soulAs free as a mountain bird!His energetic fist should be ready to resistA dictatorial word!His foot should stamp and his throat should growl,His hair should twirl and his face should scowl,His eyes should flash and his breast protrude,And this should be his customary attitude. (Pose.)(General Dance.)

Scene.—Quarter-deck of H.M.S. Pinafore. View of Portsmouth in distance.Sailors, led byBoatswain, discovered cleaning brasswork, splicing rope, etc.

Chorus.

We sail the ocean blue,And our saucy ship’s a beauty;We’re sober men, and true,And attentive to our duty.When the balls whistle free o’er the bright blue sea,We stand to our guns all day;When at anchor we ride on the Portsmouth tide,We have plenty of time to play.

We sail the ocean blue,

And our saucy ship’s a beauty;

We’re sober men, and true,

And attentive to our duty.

When the balls whistle free o’er the bright blue sea,

We stand to our guns all day;

When at anchor we ride on the Portsmouth tide,

We have plenty of time to play.

EnterLittle Buttercup, with large basket on her arm.

Recitative.

Hail, men-o’-war’s men—safeguards of your nation,Here is an end, at last, of all privation;You’ve got your pay—spare all you can affordTo welcome Little Buttercup on board.

Hail, men-o’-war’s men—safeguards of your nation,

Here is an end, at last, of all privation;

You’ve got your pay—spare all you can afford

To welcome Little Buttercup on board.

Aria.

For I’m called Little Buttercup, dear Little Buttercup,Though I could never tell why,But still I’m called Buttercup, poor Little Buttercup,Sweet Little Buttercup, I.I’ve snuff, and tobaccy, and excellent jacky;I’ve scissors, and watches, and knives;I’ve ribbons and laces to set off the facesOf pretty young sweethearts and wives.I’ve treacle and toffee and excellent coffee,Soft tommy and succulent chops;I’ve chickens and conies and pretty polonies,And excellent peppermint drops.Then buy of your Buttercup—dear Little Buttercup,Sailors should never be shy;So buy of your Buttercup—poor Little Buttercup,Come, of your Buttercup buy!

For I’m called Little Buttercup, dear Little Buttercup,

Though I could never tell why,

But still I’m called Buttercup, poor Little Buttercup,

Sweet Little Buttercup, I.

I’ve snuff, and tobaccy, and excellent jacky;

I’ve scissors, and watches, and knives;

I’ve ribbons and laces to set off the faces

Of pretty young sweethearts and wives.

I’ve treacle and toffee and excellent coffee,

Soft tommy and succulent chops;

I’ve chickens and conies and pretty polonies,

And excellent peppermint drops.

Then buy of your Buttercup—dear Little Buttercup,

Sailors should never be shy;

So buy of your Buttercup—poor Little Buttercup,

Come, of your Buttercup buy!

Boat.Ay, Little Buttercup—and well called—for you’re the rosiest, the roundest, and the reddest beauty in all Spithead.

But.Red, am I? and round—and rosy! Maybe, for I have dissembled well! But hark ye, my merry friend—hast ever thought that beneath a gay and frivolous exterior there may lurk a cankerworm which is slowly but surely eating its way into one’s very heart?

Boat.No, my lass, I can’t say I’ve ever thought that.

EnterDick Deadeye. He pushes throughSailors.

Dick.Ihave thought it often. (All recoil from him.)

But.Yes, you look like it! What’s the matter with the man? Isn’t he well?

Boat.Don’t take no heed ofhim; that’s only poor Dick Deadeye.

Dick.I say—it’s a beast of a name, ain’t it—Dick Deadeye?

But.It’s not a nice name.

Dick.I’m ugly too, ain’t I?

But.You are certainly plain.

Dick.And I’m three-cornered too, ain’t I?

But.You are rather triangular.

Dick.Ha! ha! That’s it. I’m ugly, and they hate me for it; for you all hate me, don’t you?

Boat.(crossing). Well, Dick, we wouldn’t go for to hurt any fellow-creature’s feelings, but you can’t expect a chap with such a name as Dick Deadeye to be a popular character—now, can you?

Dick.No.

Boat.It’s asking too much, ain’t it?

Dick.It is. From such a face and form as mine the noblest sentiments sound like the black utterances of a depraved imagination. It is human nature—I am resigned.

Recitative.

But.(looking down hatchway).But, tell me—who’s the youth whose faltering feetWith difficulty bear him on his course?Boat.(crossing).That is the smartest lad in all the fleet—Ralph Rackstraw!But.Ha! that name! Remorse! remorse!

But.(looking down hatchway).But, tell me—who’s the youth whose faltering feetWith difficulty bear him on his course?

But.(looking down hatchway).

But, tell me—who’s the youth whose faltering feet

With difficulty bear him on his course?

Boat.(crossing).That is the smartest lad in all the fleet—Ralph Rackstraw!

Boat.(crossing).

That is the smartest lad in all the fleet—

Ralph Rackstraw!

But.Ha! that name! Remorse! remorse!

EnterRalphfrom hatchway.

Madrigal.—Ralph.

The nightingaleLoved the pale moon’s bright ray,And told his taleIn his own melodious way!He sang “Ah, well-a-day!”All.He sang “Ah, well-a-day!”The lowly valeFor the mountain vainly sighed;To his humble wailThe echoing hills replied.They sang “Ah, well-a-day!”All.They sang “Ah, well-a-day!”

The nightingaleLoved the pale moon’s bright ray,And told his taleIn his own melodious way!He sang “Ah, well-a-day!”

The nightingale

Loved the pale moon’s bright ray,

And told his tale

In his own melodious way!

He sang “Ah, well-a-day!”

All.He sang “Ah, well-a-day!”

The lowly valeFor the mountain vainly sighed;To his humble wailThe echoing hills replied.They sang “Ah, well-a-day!”

The lowly vale

For the mountain vainly sighed;

To his humble wail

The echoing hills replied.

They sang “Ah, well-a-day!”

All.They sang “Ah, well-a-day!”

Recitative.

I know the value of a kindly chorus,But choruses yield little consolation,When we have pain and trouble too before us!I love—and love, alas, above my station!But.(aside). He loves—and loves a lass above his station!All(aside). Yes, yes, the lass is much above his station!

I know the value of a kindly chorus,But choruses yield little consolation,When we have pain and trouble too before us!I love—and love, alas, above my station!

I know the value of a kindly chorus,

But choruses yield little consolation,

When we have pain and trouble too before us!

I love—and love, alas, above my station!

But.(aside). He loves—and loves a lass above his station!

All(aside). Yes, yes, the lass is much above his station!

Ballad.—Ralph.

A maiden fair to see,The pearl of minstrelsy,A bud of blushing beauty;For whom proud nobles sigh,And with each other vie,To do her menial’s duty.All.To do her menial’s duty.A suitor, lowly born,With hopeless passion torn,And poor beyond concealing,Has dared for her to pineAt whose exalted shrineA world of wealth is kneeling.All.A world of wealth is kneeling!Unlearnèd he in aughtSave that which love has taught.(For love had been his tutor)Oh, pity, pity me—Our captain’s daughter she,And I that lowly suitor!All.And he that lowly suitor!

A maiden fair to see,The pearl of minstrelsy,A bud of blushing beauty;For whom proud nobles sigh,And with each other vie,To do her menial’s duty.

A maiden fair to see,

The pearl of minstrelsy,

A bud of blushing beauty;

For whom proud nobles sigh,

And with each other vie,

To do her menial’s duty.

All.To do her menial’s duty.

A suitor, lowly born,With hopeless passion torn,And poor beyond concealing,Has dared for her to pineAt whose exalted shrineA world of wealth is kneeling.

A suitor, lowly born,

With hopeless passion torn,

And poor beyond concealing,

Has dared for her to pine

At whose exalted shrine

A world of wealth is kneeling.

All.A world of wealth is kneeling!

Unlearnèd he in aughtSave that which love has taught.(For love had been his tutor)Oh, pity, pity me—Our captain’s daughter she,And I that lowly suitor!

Unlearnèd he in aught

Save that which love has taught.

(For love had been his tutor)

Oh, pity, pity me—

Our captain’s daughter she,

And I that lowly suitor!

All.And he that lowly suitor!

[ExitLittle Buttercup.

Boat.Ah, my poor lad, you’ve climbed too high: our worthy captain’s child won’t have nothin’ to say to a poor chap like you. Will she, lads?

Dick.No, no, captains’ daughters don’t marry foremast hands.

All(recoiling from him). Shame! shame!

Boat.(crossing). Dick Deadeye, them sentiments o’ yourn are a disgrace to our common natur’.

Ralph.But it’s a strange anomaly, that the daughter of a man who hails from the quarter-deck may not love another who lays out on the fore-yard arm. For a man is but a man, whether he hoists his flag at the maintruck or his slacks on the maindeck.

Dick.Ah, it’s a queer world!

Ralph.Dick Deadeye, I have no desire to press hardly on you, but such a revolutionary sentiment is enough to make an honest sailor shudder.

Boat.(who has gone on poop-deck, returns). My lads, our gallant captain has come on deck; let us greet him as so brave an officer and so gallant a seaman deserves.

Recitative.

Capt.My gallant crew, good morning.All(saluting).Sir, good morning!Capt.I hope you’re all well.All(as before).Quite well; and you, sir?Capt.I am reasonable in health, and happyTo meet you all once more.All(as before).You do us proud, sir!

Capt.My gallant crew, good morning.

All(saluting).Sir, good morning!

Capt.I hope you’re all well.

All(as before).Quite well; and you, sir?

Capt.I am reasonable in health, and happyTo meet you all once more.

Capt.I am reasonable in health, and happy

To meet you all once more.

All(as before).You do us proud, sir!

Song.—Captain.

Capt.I am the Captain of the Pinafore!All.And a right good captain, too!Capt.You’re very, very good,And be it understoodI command a right good crew.All.We’re very, very good,And be it understoodHe commands a right good crew.Capt.Though related to a peer,I can hand, reef, and steer,And ship a selvagee;I am never known to quailAt the fury of a gale,And I’m never, never sick at sea!All.What, never?Capt.No, never!All.What,never?Capt.Hardly ever!All.He’s hardly ever sick at sea!Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,For the hardy Captain of the Pinafore!Capt.I do my best to satisfy you all—All.And with you we’re quite content.Capt.You’re exceedingly polite,And I think it only rightTo return the compliment.All.We’re exceedingly polite.And he thinks it’s only rightTo return the compliment.Capt.Bad language or abuse,I never, never use,Whatever the emergency;Though, “bother it,” I mayOccasionally say,I never use a big, big D——All.What, never?Capt.No, never!All.What,never?Capt.Hardly ever!All.Hardly ever swears a big, big D——Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,For the well-bred Captain of the Pinafore![After song exeunt all butCaptain.EnterLittle Buttercup.

Capt.I am the Captain of the Pinafore!

All.And a right good captain, too!

Capt.You’re very, very good,And be it understoodI command a right good crew.

Capt.You’re very, very good,

And be it understood

I command a right good crew.

All.We’re very, very good,And be it understoodHe commands a right good crew.

All.We’re very, very good,

And be it understood

He commands a right good crew.

Capt.Though related to a peer,I can hand, reef, and steer,And ship a selvagee;I am never known to quailAt the fury of a gale,And I’m never, never sick at sea!

Capt.Though related to a peer,

I can hand, reef, and steer,

And ship a selvagee;

I am never known to quail

At the fury of a gale,

And I’m never, never sick at sea!

All.What, never?

Capt.No, never!

All.What,never?

Capt.Hardly ever!

All.He’s hardly ever sick at sea!Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,For the hardy Captain of the Pinafore!

All.He’s hardly ever sick at sea!

Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,

For the hardy Captain of the Pinafore!

Capt.I do my best to satisfy you all—

All.And with you we’re quite content.

Capt.You’re exceedingly polite,And I think it only rightTo return the compliment.

Capt.You’re exceedingly polite,

And I think it only right

To return the compliment.

All.We’re exceedingly polite.And he thinks it’s only rightTo return the compliment.

All.We’re exceedingly polite.

And he thinks it’s only right

To return the compliment.

Capt.Bad language or abuse,I never, never use,Whatever the emergency;Though, “bother it,” I mayOccasionally say,I never use a big, big D——

Capt.Bad language or abuse,

I never, never use,

Whatever the emergency;

Though, “bother it,” I may

Occasionally say,

I never use a big, big D——

All.What, never?

Capt.No, never!

All.What,never?

Capt.Hardly ever!

All.Hardly ever swears a big, big D——Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,For the well-bred Captain of the Pinafore!

All.Hardly ever swears a big, big D——

Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,

For the well-bred Captain of the Pinafore!

[After song exeunt all butCaptain.

EnterLittle Buttercup.

Recitative.

But.Sir, you are sad. The silent eloquenceOf yonder tear that trembles on your eyelashProclaims a sorrow far more deep than common;Confide in me—fear not—I am a mother!Capt.Yes, Little Buttercup, I’m sad and sorry—My daughter, Josephine, the fairest flowerThat ever blossomed on ancestral timber,Is sought in marriage by Sir Joseph Porter,Our Admiralty’s First Lord, but for some reason,She does not seem to tackle kindly to it.But.(with emotion).Ah, poor Sir Joseph! Ah, I know too wellThe anguish of a heart that loves but vainly!But see, here comes your most attractive daughter.I go—Farewell![Exit.Capt.(looking after her). A plump and pleasing person!

But.Sir, you are sad. The silent eloquenceOf yonder tear that trembles on your eyelashProclaims a sorrow far more deep than common;Confide in me—fear not—I am a mother!

But.Sir, you are sad. The silent eloquence

Of yonder tear that trembles on your eyelash

Proclaims a sorrow far more deep than common;

Confide in me—fear not—I am a mother!

Capt.Yes, Little Buttercup, I’m sad and sorry—My daughter, Josephine, the fairest flowerThat ever blossomed on ancestral timber,Is sought in marriage by Sir Joseph Porter,Our Admiralty’s First Lord, but for some reason,She does not seem to tackle kindly to it.

Capt.Yes, Little Buttercup, I’m sad and sorry—

My daughter, Josephine, the fairest flower

That ever blossomed on ancestral timber,

Is sought in marriage by Sir Joseph Porter,

Our Admiralty’s First Lord, but for some reason,

She does not seem to tackle kindly to it.

But.(with emotion).Ah, poor Sir Joseph! Ah, I know too wellThe anguish of a heart that loves but vainly!But see, here comes your most attractive daughter.I go—Farewell![Exit.

But.(with emotion).

Ah, poor Sir Joseph! Ah, I know too well

The anguish of a heart that loves but vainly!

But see, here comes your most attractive daughter.

I go—Farewell!

[Exit.

Capt.(looking after her). A plump and pleasing person!

EnterJosephineon poop. She comes down, twining some flowers which she carries in a small basket.

Ballad.—Josephine.

Sorry her lot who loves too well,Heavy the heart that hopes but vainly,Sad are the sighs that own the spellUttered by eyes that speak too plainly;Heavy the sorrow that bows the headWhen love is alive and hope is dead!Sad is the hour when sets the sun—Dark is the night to earth’s poor daughters,When to the ark the wearied oneFlies from the empty waste of waters!Heavy the sorrow that bows the headWhen love is alive and hope is dead!

Sorry her lot who loves too well,

Heavy the heart that hopes but vainly,

Sad are the sighs that own the spell

Uttered by eyes that speak too plainly;

Heavy the sorrow that bows the head

When love is alive and hope is dead!

Sad is the hour when sets the sun—

Dark is the night to earth’s poor daughters,

When to the ark the wearied one

Flies from the empty waste of waters!

Heavy the sorrow that bows the head

When love is alive and hope is dead!

Capt.My child, I grieve to see that you are a prey to melancholy. You should look your best to-day, for Sir Joseph Porter, K.C.B., will be here this afternoon to claim your promised hand.

Jos.Ah, father, your words cut me to the quick. I can esteem—reverence—venerate Sir Joseph, for he is a great and good man; but oh, I cannot love him! My heart is already given.

Capt.(aside). It is, then, as I feared. (Aloud.) Given? And to whom? Not to some gilded lordling?

Jos.No, father—the object of my love is no lordling. Oh, pity me, for he is but a humble sailor on board your own ship!

Capt.Impossible!

Jos.Yes, it is true—too true.

Capt.A common sailor? Oh, fie!

Jos.I blush for the weakness that allows me to cherish such a passion. I hate myself when I think of the depth to which I have stooped in permitting myself to think tenderly ofone so ignobly born, but I love him! I love him! I love him! (Weeps.)

Capt.Come, my child, let us talk this over. In a matter of the heart I would not coerce my daughter—I attach but little value to rank or wealth, but the line must be drawn somewhere. A man in that station may be brave and worthy, but at every step he would commit solecisms that society would never pardon.

Jos.Oh, I have thought of this night and day. But fear not, father. I have a heart, and therefore I love; but I am your daughter, and therefore I am proud. Though I carry my love with me to the tomb, he shall never, never know it.

Capt.Youaremy daughter, after all. But see, Sir Joseph’s barge approaches, manned by twelve trusty oarsmen and accompanied by the admiring crowd of female relatives that attend him wherever he goes. Retire, my daughter, to your cabin—take this, his photograph, with you—it may help to bring you to a more reasonable frame of mind.

Jos.My own thoughtful father.

[ExitJosephine.

Barcarolle(without.)

Over the bright blue seaComes Sir Joseph Porter, K.C.B.,Wherever he may goBang-bang the loud nine-pounders go!Shout o’er the bright blue seaFor Sir Joseph Porter, K.C.B.

Over the bright blue sea

Comes Sir Joseph Porter, K.C.B.,

Wherever he may go

Bang-bang the loud nine-pounders go!

Shout o’er the bright blue sea

For Sir Joseph Porter, K.C.B.

[During this theCrewhave entered on tiptoe, listening attentively to the song.

Chorus of Sailors.

We sail the ocean blue,And our saucy ship’s a beauty;We’re sober men, and true,And attentive to our duty.We’re smart and sober men,And quite devoid of fe-ar,In all the Royal N.None are so smart as we are.

We sail the ocean blue,

And our saucy ship’s a beauty;

We’re sober men, and true,

And attentive to our duty.

We’re smart and sober men,

And quite devoid of fe-ar,

In all the Royal N.

None are so smart as we are.

EnterSir Joseph’sFemale Relatives. They dance round stage.

Rel.Gaily tripping,Lightly skipping,Flock the maidens to the shipping.Sail.Flags and guns and pennants dippingAll the ladies love the shipping.Rel.Sailors sprightlyAlways rightlyWelcome ladies so politely.Sail.Ladies who can smile so brightly,Sailors welcome most politely.

Rel.Gaily tripping,Lightly skipping,Flock the maidens to the shipping.

Rel.Gaily tripping,

Lightly skipping,

Flock the maidens to the shipping.

Sail.Flags and guns and pennants dippingAll the ladies love the shipping.

Sail.Flags and guns and pennants dipping

All the ladies love the shipping.

Rel.Sailors sprightlyAlways rightlyWelcome ladies so politely.

Rel.Sailors sprightly

Always rightly

Welcome ladies so politely.

Sail.Ladies who can smile so brightly,Sailors welcome most politely.

Sail.Ladies who can smile so brightly,

Sailors welcome most politely.

EnterSir JosephwithCousin Hebe.

Capt.(from poop). Now give three cheers, I’ll lead the way.All.Hurrah! hurrah! hurrah! hurray! (Repeat.)

Capt.(from poop). Now give three cheers, I’ll lead the way.

All.Hurrah! hurrah! hurrah! hurray! (Repeat.)

Song.—Sir Joseph.

I am the monarch of the sea,The Ruler of the Queen’s Navee,Whose praise Great Britain loudly chants.Cousin H.And we are his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!Rel.And we are his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!Sir J.When at anchor here I ride,My bosom swells with pride,And I snap my fingers at a foeman’s taunts.Cousin H.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!All.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!Sir J.But when the breezes blow,I generally go below,And seek the seclusion that a cabin grants!Cousin H.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!All.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!His sisters and his cousins,Whom he reckons up by dozens,And his aunts!

I am the monarch of the sea,The Ruler of the Queen’s Navee,Whose praise Great Britain loudly chants.

I am the monarch of the sea,

The Ruler of the Queen’s Navee,

Whose praise Great Britain loudly chants.

Cousin H.And we are his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!

Rel.And we are his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!

Sir J.When at anchor here I ride,My bosom swells with pride,And I snap my fingers at a foeman’s taunts.

Sir J.When at anchor here I ride,

My bosom swells with pride,

And I snap my fingers at a foeman’s taunts.

Cousin H.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!

All.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!

Sir J.But when the breezes blow,I generally go below,And seek the seclusion that a cabin grants!

Sir J.But when the breezes blow,

I generally go below,

And seek the seclusion that a cabin grants!

Cousin H.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!

All.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!His sisters and his cousins,Whom he reckons up by dozens,And his aunts!

All.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!

His sisters and his cousins,

Whom he reckons up by dozens,

And his aunts!

Song.—Sir Joseph.

When I was a lad I served a termAs office boy to an attorney’s firm.I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor,And I polished up the handle of the big front door.I polished up that handle so carefulleeThat now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee!Chorus.—He polished, etc.As office boy I made such a markThat they gave me the post of a junior clerk.I served the writs with a smile so bland,And I copied all the letters in a big round hand—I copied all the letters in a hand so free,That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee.Chorus.—He copied, etc.In serving writs I made such a nameThat an articled clerk I soon became;I wore clean collars and a brand-new suitFor the pass examination at the Institute.And that pass examination did so well for me,That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee!Chorus.—And that pass examination, etc.Of legal knowledge I acquired such a gripThat they took me into the partnership,And that junior partnership, I ween,Was the only ship that I ever had seen.But that kind of ship so suited me,That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee!Chorus.—But that kind, etc.I grew so rich that I was sentBy a pocket borough into Parliament.I always voted at my party’s call,And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.I thought so little, they rewarded meBy making me the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee!Chorus.—He thought so little, etc.Now, landsmen all, whoever you may be,If you want to rise to the top of the tree,If your soul isn’t fettered to an office stool,Be careful to be guided by this golden rule—Stick close to yourdeskaand never go to sea,And you all may be Rulers of the Queen’s Navee!Chorus.—Stick close, etc.

When I was a lad I served a term

As office boy to an attorney’s firm.

I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor,

And I polished up the handle of the big front door.

I polished up that handle so carefullee

That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee!

Chorus.—He polished, etc.

As office boy I made such a markThat they gave me the post of a junior clerk.I served the writs with a smile so bland,And I copied all the letters in a big round hand—I copied all the letters in a hand so free,That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee.

As office boy I made such a mark

That they gave me the post of a junior clerk.

I served the writs with a smile so bland,

And I copied all the letters in a big round hand—

I copied all the letters in a hand so free,

That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee.

Chorus.—He copied, etc.

In serving writs I made such a nameThat an articled clerk I soon became;I wore clean collars and a brand-new suitFor the pass examination at the Institute.And that pass examination did so well for me,That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee!

In serving writs I made such a name

That an articled clerk I soon became;

I wore clean collars and a brand-new suit

For the pass examination at the Institute.

And that pass examination did so well for me,

That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee!

Chorus.—And that pass examination, etc.

Of legal knowledge I acquired such a gripThat they took me into the partnership,And that junior partnership, I ween,Was the only ship that I ever had seen.But that kind of ship so suited me,That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee!

Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip

That they took me into the partnership,

And that junior partnership, I ween,

Was the only ship that I ever had seen.

But that kind of ship so suited me,

That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee!

Chorus.—But that kind, etc.

I grew so rich that I was sentBy a pocket borough into Parliament.I always voted at my party’s call,And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.I thought so little, they rewarded meBy making me the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee!

I grew so rich that I was sent

By a pocket borough into Parliament.

I always voted at my party’s call,

And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.

I thought so little, they rewarded me

By making me the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee!

Chorus.—He thought so little, etc.

Now, landsmen all, whoever you may be,If you want to rise to the top of the tree,If your soul isn’t fettered to an office stool,Be careful to be guided by this golden rule—Stick close to yourdeskaand never go to sea,And you all may be Rulers of the Queen’s Navee!

Now, landsmen all, whoever you may be,

If you want to rise to the top of the tree,

If your soul isn’t fettered to an office stool,

Be careful to be guided by this golden rule—

Stick close to yourdeskaand never go to sea,

And you all may be Rulers of the Queen’s Navee!

Chorus.—Stick close, etc.

Sir J.You’ve a remarkably fine crew, Captain Corcoran.

Capt.Itisa fine crew, Sir Joseph.

Sir J.(examining a very small midshipman). A British sailor is a splendid fellow, Captain Corcoran.

Capt.A splendid fellow indeed, Sir Joseph.

Sir J.I hope you treat your crew kindly, Captain Corcoran.

Capt.Indeed, I hope so, Sir Joseph.

Sir J.Never forget that they are the bulwarks of England’s greatness, Captain Corcoran.

Capt.So I have always considered them, Sir Joseph.

Sir J.What percentage of words are spelled phonetically? No bullying, I trust—no strong language of any kind, eh?

Capt.Oh, never, Sir Joseph.

Sir J.What,never?

Capt.Hardly ever, Sir Joseph. They are an excellent crew, and do their work thoroughly without it.

Sir J.(reproving). Don’t patronize them, sir—pray, don’t patronize them.

Capt.Certainly not, Sir Joseph.

Sir J.That you are their captain is an accident of birth. I cannot permit these noble fellows to be patronized because an accident of birth has placed you above them and them below you.

Capt.I am the last person to insult a British sailor, Sir Joseph.

Sir J.You are the last person who did, Captain Corcoran. Desire that splendid seaman to step forward.

Capt.Ralph Rackstraw, come here.

Sir J.(sternly). If what?

Capt.I beg your pardon——

Sir J.If youplease.

Capt.Oh yes, of course. If youplease.

[Ralphsteps forward.

Sir J.You’re a remarkably fine fellow.

Ralph.Yes, your honour.

Sir J.And a first-rate seaman, I’ll be bound.

Ralph.There’s not a smarter topman in the navy, your honour, though I say it who shouldn’t.

Sir J.Not at all. Proper self-respect, nothing more. Can you dance a hornpipe?

Ralph.No, your honour.

Sir J.That’s a pity: all sailors should dance hornpipes. I will teach you one this evening, after dinner. Now, tell me—don’t be afraid—how does your captain treat you, eh?

Ralph.A better captain don’t walk the deck, your honour.

All.Hear!

Sir J.Good. I like to hear you speak well of your commanding officer; I dare say he don’t deserve it, but still it does you credit. Can you sing?

Ralph.I can hum a little, your honour.

Sir J.Then hum this at your leisure. (Giving him MS. music.) It is a song that I have composed for the use of the Royal Navy. It is designed to encourage independence of thought and action in the lower branches of the service, and to teach the principle that a British sailor is any man’s equal, excepting mine. Now, Captain Corcoran, a word with you in your cabin, on a tender and sentimental subject.

Capt.Ay, ay, Sir Joseph. Boatswain, in commemoration of this joyous occupation, see that extra grog is served out to the ship’s company at one bell.

Boat.Beg pardon. If what, your honour?

Capt.If what? I don’t think I understand you.

Boat.If youplease, your honour.

Capt.What!

Sir J.The gentleman is quite right. If youplease.

Capt.(stamping his foot impatiently). If youplease!

Sir J.For I hold that on the seasThe expression, “If you please,”A particularly gentlemanly tone implants.Cousin H.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!All.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!

Sir J.For I hold that on the seasThe expression, “If you please,”A particularly gentlemanly tone implants.

Sir J.For I hold that on the seas

The expression, “If you please,”

A particularly gentlemanly tone implants.

Cousin H.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!

All.And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!

[ExeuntCaptainandSir Josephinto cabin.

Boat.Ah! Sir Joseph’s a true gentleman: courteous and considerate to the very humblest.

Ralph.True, Boatswain; but we are not the very humblest. Sir Joseph has explained our true position to us. As he says, a British seaman is any man’s equal excepting his; and if Sir Joseph says that, is it not our duty to believe him?

All.Well spoke! well spoke!

Dick.You’re on a wrong tack, and so is he. He means well, but he don’t know. When people have to obey other people’s orders, equality’s out of the question.

All(recoiling). Horrible! horrible!

Boat.Dick Deadeye, if you go for to infuriate this here ship’s company too far, I won’t answer for being able to hold ’em in. I’m shocked! that’s what I am—shocked!

Ralph(coming forward). Messmates, my mind’s made up. I’ll speak to the captain’s daughter, and tell her, like an honest man, of the honest love I have for her.

All.Hurrah!

Ralph.Is not my love as good as another’s? Is not my heart as true as another’s? Have I not hands and eyes and ears and limbs like another?

All.Ay, ay.

Ralph.True, I lack birth——

Boat.You’ve a berth on board this very ship.

Ralph.Well said—I had forgotten that. Messmates, what do you say? do you approve my determination?

All.We do.

Dick.Idon’t.

Boat.What is to be done with this here hopeless chap? Let us sing him the song that Sir Joseph has kindly composed for us. Perhaps it will bring this here miserable creetur to a proper state of mind.

Glee.—Ralph, Boatswain, Boatswain’s Mate, and Chorus.

A British tar is a soaring soul,As free as a mountain bird!His energetic fist should be ready to resistA dictatorial word.His nose should pant and his lip should curl,His cheeks should flame and his brow should furl,His bosom should heave and his heart should glow,And his fist be ever ready for a knock-down blow.Chorus.—His nose should pant, etc.His eyes should flash with an inborn fire,His brow with scorn be wrung;He never should bow down to a domineering frown,Or the tang of a tyrant tongue.His foot should stamp and his throat should growl,His hair should twirl and his face should scowl,His eyes should flash and his breast protrude,And this should be his customary attitude! (Pose.)Chorus.—His foot should stamp, etc.

A British tar is a soaring soul,

As free as a mountain bird!

His energetic fist should be ready to resist

A dictatorial word.

His nose should pant and his lip should curl,

His cheeks should flame and his brow should furl,

His bosom should heave and his heart should glow,

And his fist be ever ready for a knock-down blow.

Chorus.—His nose should pant, etc.

His eyes should flash with an inborn fire,His brow with scorn be wrung;He never should bow down to a domineering frown,Or the tang of a tyrant tongue.His foot should stamp and his throat should growl,His hair should twirl and his face should scowl,His eyes should flash and his breast protrude,And this should be his customary attitude! (Pose.)

His eyes should flash with an inborn fire,

His brow with scorn be wrung;

He never should bow down to a domineering frown,

Or the tang of a tyrant tongue.

His foot should stamp and his throat should growl,

His hair should twirl and his face should scowl,

His eyes should flash and his breast protrude,

And this should be his customary attitude! (Pose.)

Chorus.—His foot should stamp, etc.

[All strike attitude and then dance off to hornpipe down hatchway, exceptingRalph, who remains, leaning pensively against bulwark.

EnterJosephinefrom cabin.

Jos.It is useless—Sir Joseph’s attentions nauseate me. I know that he is a truly great and good man, but to me he seems tedious, fretful, and dictatorial. Yet his must be a mind of no common order, or he would not dare to teach my dear father to dance a hornpipe on the cabin table. (SeesRalph.) Ralph Rackstraw! (Overcome by emotion.)

Ralph.Ay, lady—no other than poor Ralph Rackstraw!

Jos.(aside). How my head beats! (Aloud.) And why poor, Ralph?

Ralph.I am poor in the essence of happiness, lady—rich only in never-ending unrest. In me there meet a combination of antithetical elements which are at eternal war with one another. Driven hither by objective influences—thither by subjective emotions—wafted one moment into blazing day by mocking hope—plunged the next into the Cimmerian darkness of tangible despair, I am but a living ganglion of irreconcilable antagonisms. I hope I make myself clear, lady?

Jos.Perfectly. (Aside.) His simple eloquence goes to my heart. Oh, if I dared—but no, the thought is madness!(Aloud.) Dismiss these foolish fancies, they torture you but needlessly. Come, make one effort.

Ralph(aside). I will—one. (Aloud.) Josephine!

Jos.(indignantly). Sir!

Ralph.Ay, even though Jove’s armoury were launched at the head of the audacious mortal whose lips, unhallowed by relationship, dared to breathe that precious word, yet would I breathe it once, and then perchance be silent evermore. Josephine, in one brief breath I will concentrate the hopes, the doubts, the anxious fears of six weary months. Josephine, I am a British sailor, and I love you!

Jos.Sir, this audacity! (Aside.) Oh, my heart, my heart! (Aloud.) This unwarrantable presumption on the part of a common sailor! (Aside.) Common! oh, the irony of the word! (Aloud.) Oh, sir, you forget the disparity in our ranks.

Ralph.I forget nothing, haughty lady. I love you desperately, my life is in thy hand—I lay it at your feet! Give me hope, and what I lack in education and polite accomplishments, that I will endeavour to acquire. Drive me to despair, and in death alone I shall look for consolation. I am proud, and cannot stoop to implore. I have spoken, and I wait your word!

Jos.You shall not wait long. Your proffered love I haughtily reject. Go, sir, and learn to cast your eyes on some village maiden in your own poor rank—they should be lowered before your captain’s daughter!

Duet.-Josephine and Ralph.

Jos.Refrain, audacious tar,Your suit from pressing,Remember what you are,And whom addressing!Proud lords to seek my handIn throngs assemble,The loftiest in the landBow down and tremble!(Aside.)I’d laugh my rank to scornIn union holy,Were he more highly bornOr I more lowly!Ralph.Proud lady, have your wayUnfeeling beauty!You speak and I obey,It is my duty!I am the lowliest tarThat sails the water.And you, proud maiden, areMy captain’s daughter!(Aside.)My heart with anguish tornBows down before her,She laughs my love to scorn,Yet I adore her.

Jos.Refrain, audacious tar,

Your suit from pressing,

Remember what you are,

And whom addressing!

Proud lords to seek my hand

In throngs assemble,

The loftiest in the land

Bow down and tremble!

(Aside.)I’d laugh my rank to scorn

In union holy,

Were he more highly born

Or I more lowly!

Ralph.Proud lady, have your wayUnfeeling beauty!You speak and I obey,It is my duty!I am the lowliest tarThat sails the water.And you, proud maiden, areMy captain’s daughter!(Aside.)My heart with anguish tornBows down before her,She laughs my love to scorn,Yet I adore her.

Ralph.Proud lady, have your way

Unfeeling beauty!

You speak and I obey,

It is my duty!

I am the lowliest tar

That sails the water.

And you, proud maiden, are

My captain’s daughter!

(Aside.)My heart with anguish torn

Bows down before her,

She laughs my love to scorn,

Yet I adore her.

[Repeat refrain ensemble, then exitJosephineinto cabin.

Recitative.—Ralph.

Can I survive this overbearingOr live a life of mad despairing,My proffered love despised, rejected?No, no, it’s not to be expected!(Calling off.) Messmates, ahoy!Come here! Come here!

Can I survive this overbearing

Or live a life of mad despairing,

My proffered love despised, rejected?

No, no, it’s not to be expected!

(Calling off.) Messmates, ahoy!

Come here! Come here!

EnterSailors,Hebe, andRelatives.

All.Ay, ay, my boy,What cheer, what cheer?Now tell us, pray,Without delay,What does she say—What cheer, what cheer?Ralph(toCousin Hebe).The maiden treats my suit with scorn,Rejects my humble love, my lady;She says I am ignobly born,And cuts my hopes adrift, my lady.All.Oh, cruel one!Dick.She spurns your suit? Oho! Oho!I told you so, I told you so.Sail. and Rel.Shall {we} submit? Are {we} but slaves?{they}{they}Love comes alike to high and low—Britannia’s sailors rule the waves,And shall they stoop to insult? No!Dick.You must submit, you are but slaves;A lady she! Oho! Oho!You lowly toilers of the waves,She spurns you all—I told you so!(Goes off.)Ralph(drawing a pistol).My friends, my leave of life I’m taking,For oh, for oh, my heart is breaking.When I am gone, oh, prithee tellThe maid that, as I died, I loved her well! (Loading it.)All(turning away, weeping).Of life, alas! his leave he’s taking.For, ah! his faithful heart is breaking.When he is gone we’ll surely tellThe maid that, as he died, he loved her well.(During chorus he has loaded pistol.)Ralph.Be warned, my messmates allWho love in rank above you—For Josephine I fall!(Puts pistol to his head. All the sailors stop their ears.)EnterJosephine.Jos.Ah! stay your hand! I love you!All.Ah! stay your hand—she loves you!Ralph(incredulously).Loves me?Jos.Loves you!All.Yes, yes—ah, yes—she loves you!

All.Ay, ay, my boy,What cheer, what cheer?Now tell us, pray,Without delay,What does she say—What cheer, what cheer?

All.Ay, ay, my boy,

What cheer, what cheer?

Now tell us, pray,

Without delay,

What does she say—

What cheer, what cheer?

Ralph(toCousin Hebe).The maiden treats my suit with scorn,Rejects my humble love, my lady;She says I am ignobly born,And cuts my hopes adrift, my lady.

Ralph(toCousin Hebe).

The maiden treats my suit with scorn,

Rejects my humble love, my lady;

She says I am ignobly born,

And cuts my hopes adrift, my lady.

All.Oh, cruel one!

Dick.She spurns your suit? Oho! Oho!I told you so, I told you so.

Dick.She spurns your suit? Oho! Oho!

I told you so, I told you so.

Sail. and Rel.Shall {we} submit? Are {we} but slaves?{they}{they}Love comes alike to high and low—Britannia’s sailors rule the waves,And shall they stoop to insult? No!

Sail. and Rel.Shall {we} submit? Are {we} but slaves?

{they}{they}

Love comes alike to high and low—

Britannia’s sailors rule the waves,

And shall they stoop to insult? No!

Dick.You must submit, you are but slaves;A lady she! Oho! Oho!You lowly toilers of the waves,She spurns you all—I told you so!(Goes off.)

Dick.You must submit, you are but slaves;

A lady she! Oho! Oho!

You lowly toilers of the waves,

She spurns you all—I told you so!

(Goes off.)

Ralph(drawing a pistol).My friends, my leave of life I’m taking,For oh, for oh, my heart is breaking.When I am gone, oh, prithee tellThe maid that, as I died, I loved her well! (Loading it.)

Ralph(drawing a pistol).

My friends, my leave of life I’m taking,

For oh, for oh, my heart is breaking.

When I am gone, oh, prithee tell

The maid that, as I died, I loved her well! (Loading it.)

All(turning away, weeping).Of life, alas! his leave he’s taking.For, ah! his faithful heart is breaking.When he is gone we’ll surely tellThe maid that, as he died, he loved her well.

All(turning away, weeping).

Of life, alas! his leave he’s taking.

For, ah! his faithful heart is breaking.

When he is gone we’ll surely tell

The maid that, as he died, he loved her well.

(During chorus he has loaded pistol.)

Ralph.Be warned, my messmates allWho love in rank above you—For Josephine I fall!(Puts pistol to his head. All the sailors stop their ears.)

Ralph.Be warned, my messmates all

Who love in rank above you—

For Josephine I fall!

(Puts pistol to his head. All the sailors stop their ears.)

EnterJosephine.

Jos.Ah! stay your hand! I love you!

All.Ah! stay your hand—she loves you!

Ralph(incredulously).Loves me?

Jos.Loves you!

All.Yes, yes—ah, yes—she loves you!

Ensemble.

Sailors and Relatives, and Josephine.

Oh, joy! oh, rapture unforeseen!For now the sky is all serene;The god of day—the orb of love,Has hung his ensign high above,The sky is all a-blaze.With wooing words and loving song,We’ll chase the lagging hours along.{I find}And if {we find} the maiden coy,I’ll}We’ll} murmur forth decorous joyIn dreamy roundelays!

Oh, joy! oh, rapture unforeseen!

For now the sky is all serene;

The god of day—the orb of love,

Has hung his ensign high above,

The sky is all a-blaze.

With wooing words and loving song,

We’ll chase the lagging hours along.

{I find}

And if {we find} the maiden coy,

I’ll}

We’ll} murmur forth decorous joy

In dreamy roundelays!

Dick Deadeye.

He thinks he’s won his Josephine,But though the sky is now serene,A frowning thunderbolt aboveMay end their ill-assorted loveWhich now is all a-blaze.Our captain, ere the day is gone,Will be extremely down uponThe wicked men who art employTo make his Josephine his coyIn many various ways.Jos.This very night,Hebe.With bated breathRalph.And muffled oar—Jos.Without a light,Hebe.As still as death,Ralph.We’ll steal ashore.Jos.A clergymanRalph.Shall make us oneBoat.At half-past ten,Jos.And then we canRalph.Return, for noneBoat.Can part us then!All.This very night, etc.

He thinks he’s won his Josephine,

But though the sky is now serene,

A frowning thunderbolt above

May end their ill-assorted love

Which now is all a-blaze.

Our captain, ere the day is gone,

Will be extremely down upon

The wicked men who art employ

To make his Josephine his coy

In many various ways.

Jos.This very night,

Hebe.With bated breath

Ralph.And muffled oar—

Jos.Without a light,

Hebe.As still as death,

Ralph.We’ll steal ashore.

Jos.A clergyman

Ralph.Shall make us one

Boat.At half-past ten,

Jos.And then we can

Ralph.Return, for none

Boat.Can part us then!

All.This very night, etc.

(Dickappears at hatchway.)

Dick.Forbear, nor carry out the scheme you’ve planned,She is a lady—you a foremast hand!Remember, she’s your gallant captain’s daughter,And you the meanest slave that crawls the water!All.Back, vermin, back,Nor mock us!Back, vermin, back,You shock us!Let’s give three cheers for the sailor’s brideWho casts all thought of rank aside—Who gives up house and fortune tooFor the honest love of a sailor true!For a British tar is a soaring soulAs free as a mountain bird!His energetic fist should be ready to resistA dictatorial word!His foot should stamp and his throat should growl,His hair should twirl and his face should scowl,His eyes should flash and his breast protrude,And this should be his customary attitude. (Pose.)

Dick.Forbear, nor carry out the scheme you’ve planned,She is a lady—you a foremast hand!Remember, she’s your gallant captain’s daughter,And you the meanest slave that crawls the water!

Dick.Forbear, nor carry out the scheme you’ve planned,

She is a lady—you a foremast hand!

Remember, she’s your gallant captain’s daughter,

And you the meanest slave that crawls the water!

All.Back, vermin, back,Nor mock us!Back, vermin, back,You shock us!Let’s give three cheers for the sailor’s brideWho casts all thought of rank aside—Who gives up house and fortune tooFor the honest love of a sailor true!For a British tar is a soaring soulAs free as a mountain bird!His energetic fist should be ready to resistA dictatorial word!His foot should stamp and his throat should growl,His hair should twirl and his face should scowl,His eyes should flash and his breast protrude,And this should be his customary attitude. (Pose.)

All.Back, vermin, back,

Nor mock us!

Back, vermin, back,

You shock us!

Let’s give three cheers for the sailor’s bride

Who casts all thought of rank aside—

Who gives up house and fortune too

For the honest love of a sailor true!

For a British tar is a soaring soul

As free as a mountain bird!

His energetic fist should be ready to resist

A dictatorial word!

His foot should stamp and his throat should growl,

His hair should twirl and his face should scowl,

His eyes should flash and his breast protrude,

And this should be his customary attitude. (Pose.)

(General Dance.)

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