THE WEDDING FEES.
There is no prescribed fee for performing the marriage ceremony. It is regulated according to the means and liberality of the bridegroom, but no less amount than five dollars should be given under any circumstances.
THE CONGRATULATIONS.
At wedding receptions, friends who congratulate the newly married couple should address the bride first, if they have any previous acquaintance with her, then the bridegroom, then the bridemaids, and after that the parents and family of the bride and groom. They should give their good wishes to the bride and congratulate the bridegroom. If they are acquainted with the bridegroom and not with the bride, let them address him first and he will introduce them to his bride.
THE BRIDAL TOUR.
The honeymoon of repose, exempt from all claims of society, is now prescribed by the dictates of common sense and fashion, and the same arbiters unite in condemning the harrassing bridal tour. It is no longerde rigueurto maintain any secrecy as to their plans for traveling, when a newly married couple depart upon a tour.
H
OMEis the woman's kingdom, and there she reigns supreme. To embellish that home, to make happy the lives of her husband and the dear ones committed to her trust, is the honored task which it is the wife's province to perform. All praise be to her who so rules and governs in that kingdom, that those reared beneath her roof "shall rise up and call her blessed."
A HOME.
After marriage one of the first requirements for happiness is a home. This can seldom be found in a boarding house or at a hotel, and not always beneath the parental roof of either husband or wife. It will oftenest be found in a house or even a cottage apart from the immediate association of relatives or friends, acquaintances or strangers, and here husband and wife may begin in reality, that new life of which they have had fond dreams; and upon their own actions must depend their future welfare.
Home
HOME COMPANIONSHIP.
Husband and wife should remember, when starting out upon their newly wedded life, that they are to be life companions, that the affection they have possessed and expressed as lovers must ripen into a life-long devotion to one another's welfare and happiness, that the closest friendship must be begotten from their early love, and that each must live and work for the other. They must seek to be congenial companions to each other, so that every hour they pass together will be mutually enjoyable. They should aim to have the same tastes so that what one enjoys will be alike enjoyable to the other, and what is distasteful to one shall be no less so to the other. Each should yield in matters where it is right to yield, and be firm only where duty is concerned. With a firm trust in one another they shouldever abide, that each may say to the world, "I possess one on whose character and heart I can lean as upon a rock."
CONDUCT OF HUSBAND AND WIFE.
Let neither ever deceive the other, or do anything to shake the other's confidence, for once deceived, the heart can never wholly trust again. Fault-finding should only be done by gentle and mild criticism, and then with loving words and pleasant looks. Make allowances for one another's weaknesses, and at the same time endeavor to mutually repress them. For the sake of mutual improvement the husband and wife should receive and give corrections to one another in a spirit of kindness, and in doing so they will prepare themselves for the work God gives the parents of training lives for usefulness here and hereafter. Their motto should be "faithful unto death in all things," and they must exercise forbearance with each other's peculiarities.
Let both preserve a strict guard over their tongues, that neither may utter anything rude, contemptuous or severe, and guard their tempers, that neither may ever grow passionate or become sullen or morose in one another's presence. They should not expect too much from each other; if either offends, it is the part of the other to forgive, remembering that no one is free from faults, and that we are all constantly erring.
If, perchance, after they have entered upon the stern realities of life, they find, that they have made a mistake, that they are not well mated, then they must accept the inevitable and endure to the end, "for better or forworse;" for only in this way can they find consolation for having found out, when too late, that they were unfitted for a life-long companionship. A journalist has said: "No lessons learned by experience, however sharply taught and sadly earned, can enlighten the numbed senses which love has sent to sleep by its magic fascination; and things as plain as the sun in heaven to others are dark as night, unfathomable as the sea, to those who let themselves love before they prove."
DUTIES OF THE WIFE TO HER HUSBAND.
The wife should remember that upon her, to the greatest extent, devolves the duty of making home happy. She should do nothing to make her husband feel uncomfortable, either mentally or physically, but on the other hand she should strive to the utmost of her ability to do whatever is best calculated to please him, continually showing him that her love, plighted upon the altar, remains steadfast, and that no vicissitudes of fortune can change or diminish it.
She should never indulge in fits of temper, hysterics, or other habits of ill-breeding, which, though easy to conquer at first, grow and strengthen with indulgence, if she would retain her husband as her lover and her dearest and nearest friend. She should be equally as neat and tidy respecting her dress and personal appearance at home as when she appears in society, and her manners towards her husband should be as kind and pleasing when alone with him as when in company. She should bear in mind that to retain the good opinionof her husband is worth far more than to gain the good opinion of hundreds of the devotees of society, and that as she possesses the love and confidence of her husband, so will she receive the respect and esteem of all his friends.
She should be careful not to confide to another any small misunderstandings or petty quarrels between herself and husband, should any occur. This is the surest method of widening any breach of harmony that may occur between husband and wife, for the more such misunderstandings are talked about, and the more advice she receives from her confidants, there is less probability that harmonious relations will be speedily resumed.
THE WIFE A HELPMATE.
A wife should act openly and honorably in regard to money matters, keeping an exact account of her expenditures, and carefully guarding against any extravagances; and while her husband is industriously at work, she should seek to encourage him, by her own frugality, to be economical, thrifty, enterprising and prosperous in his business, that he may be better enabled, as years go by and family cares press more heavily on each, to afford all the comforts and perhaps some of the luxuries of a happy home. No condition is hopeless when the wife possesses firmness, decision and economy, and no outward prosperity can counteract indolence, folly and extravagance at home. She should consult the disposition and tastes of her husband, and endeavor to lead him to high and noble thoughts, lofty aims, and temporal comfort; be ever ready to welcome him home, and in his companionship draw his thoughts from business and lead him to the enjoyment of home comforts and happiness. The influence of a good wife over her husband may be very great, if she exerts it in the right direction. She should, above all things, study to learn the disposition of her husband, and if, perchance, she finds herself united to a man of quick and violent temper, the utmost discretion, as well as perfect equanimity on her own part is required, for she should have such perfect control over herself as to calm his perturbed spirits.
A HUSBAND'S DUTIES.
It must not be supposed that it devolves upon the wife alone to make married life and home happy. She must be seconded in her noble efforts by him who took her from her own parental fireside and kind friends, to be his companion through life's pilgrimage. He has placed her in a new home, provided with such comforts as his means permit, and the whole current of both their lives have been changed. His constant duty to his wife is to be ever kind and attentive, to love her as he loves himself, even sacrificing his own personal comfort for her happiness. From his affection for her, there should grow out a friendship and fellowship, such as is possessed for no other person. His evenings and spare moments should be devoted to her, and these should be used for their intellectual, moral and social advancement.
The cares and anxieties of business should not excludethe attentions due to wife and family, while he should carefully keep her informed of the condition of his business affairs. Many a wife is capable of giving her husband important advice about various details of his business, and if she knows the condition of his pecuniary affairs, she will be able to govern her expenditures accordingly.
It is the husband's duty to join with his wife in all her endeavors to instruct her children, to defer all matters pertaining to their discipline to her, aiding her in this respect as she requires it. In household matters the wife rules predominant, and he should never interfere with her authority and government in this sphere. It is his duty and should be his pleasure to accompany her to church, to social gatherings, to lectures and such places of entertainment as they both mutually enjoy and appreciate. In fact he ought not to attend a social gathering unless accompanied by his wife, nor go to an evening entertainment without her. If it is not a fit place for his wife to attend, neither is it fit for him.
While he should give his wife his perfect confidence in her faithfulness, trusting implicitly to her honor at all times and in all places, he should, on his part, remain faithful and constant to her, and give her no cause of complaint. He should pass by unnoticed any disagreeable peculiarities and mistakes, taking care at the proper time, and without giving offense, to remind her of them, with the idea of having her correct them. He should never seek to break her of any disagreeable habits or peculiarities she may possess, by ridiculing them. Heshould encourage her in all her schemes for promoting the welfare of her household, or in laudable endeavors to promote the happiness of others, by engaging in such works of benevolence and charity as the duties of her home will allow her to perform.
The husband, in fact, should act toward his wife as becomes a perfect gentleman, regarding her as the "best lady in the land," to whom, above all other earthly beings, he owes paramount allegiance. If he so endeavors to act, his good sense and judgment will dictate to him the many little courtesies which are due her, and which every good wife cannot fail to appreciate. The observance of the rules of politeness are nowhere more desirable than in the domestic circle, between husband and wife, parents and children.
CherubCherub
O
URearliest and best recollections are associated with home. There the first lessons of infancy are learned. The mother's heart is the child's first school-room. The parents' examples are first imitated by the child, whose earliest impressions are gained from them. In no way are evil habits more effectually propagated than by example, and therefore parents should be what they wish their children to be.
THE MOTHER'S INFLUENCE.
To the mother belongs the privilege of planting in the hearts of her children those seeds of love, which, nurtured and fostered, will bear the fruit of earnest and useful lives. It is she who must fit them to meet the duties and emergencies of life, and in this work of training she keeps her heart fresh and young, and thereby insures the growth of those powers with which nature has endowed her.
As the faculties of man, woman or child are brought into active exercise, so do they become strengthened, and the mother, in doing her work in the training of her children, grows in wisdom, in knowledge and in power, thus enabling her the better to perform her duties.
PARENTS SHOULD SET GOOD EXAMPLES.
As children first acquire knowledge and habits from the examples of their parents, the latter should be circumspect in all their actions, manners and modes of speech. If you wish your children's faces illumined with good humor, contentment and satisfaction, so that they will be cheerful, joyous and happy, day by day, then must your own countenance appear illumined by the sunshine of love. Kind words, kind deeds and loving looks are true works of charity, and they are needed in our home circle.
Never a tear bedims the eye,That time and patience can not dry;Never a lip is curved with pain,That can not be kissed into smiles again.
Your children will form habits of evil speaking if they hear you deal lightly with the reputation of another—if they hear you slander or revile your neighbor. If you wish your child to show charity toward the erring, you must set the example by the habitual exercise of that virtue yourself. Without this your teaching will be of but little avail. If you take pleasure in dwelling upon the faults of others, if you refuse to cover over their infirmities with the mantle of charity,your example will nullify your teaching, and your admonitions will be lost.
COURTESIES IN THE HOME CIRCLE.
Mothers should early train their children to regard all the courtesies of life as scrupulously toward each other as to mere acquaintances and strangers. This is the only way in which you can secure to them the daily enjoyment of a happy home. When the external forms of courtesy are disregarded in the family circle, we are sure to find contention and bickering perpetually recurring. Rudeness is a constant source of bickering. Each will have his own way of being rude, and each will be angry at some portion of the ill-breeding of all the rest, thus provoking accusations and retorts. Where the rule of life is to do good and to make others happy, there will be found the art of securing a happy home. It is said that there is something higher in politeness than Christian moralists have recognized. In its best forms, none but the truly religious man can show it, for it is the sacrifice of self in the habitual matters of life—always the best test of our principles—together with a respect for man as our brother, under the same great destiny.
EARLY MORAL TRAINING.
The true test of the success of any education is its efficiency in giving full use of the moral and intellectual faculties wherewith to meet the duties and the struggles of life, and not by the variety of knowledge acquired. The development of the powers of the mind and its cultivation are the work of a teacher; moral training is the work of the mother, and commences long before one word of precept can be understood. Children should be early taught to regard the rights of others, that they may early learn the rights which property confers and not entertain confused ideas upon this subject.
FORMATION OF HABITS.
Virtue is the child of good habits, and the formation of habits may be said to almost constitute the whole work of education. The mother can create habits which shall mold character and enable the mind to maintain that habitual sense of duty which gives command over the passions, and power to fight temptation, and which makes obedience to principle comparatively easy, under most circumstances. The social and domestic life are marred by habits which have grown into a second nature. It is not in an occasional act of civility that the charm of either home or society consists, but in continued practice of courtesy and respect for the rights and feelings of those around us. Whatever may be the precepts for a home, the practices of the fireside will give form to the habits. Parents who indulge in gossip, scandal, slander and tale-telling, will rear children possessing the same tastes and deteriorating habits. A parent's example outlines the child's character. It sinks down deep into his heart and influences his whole life for good or for evil. A parent should carefully avoid speaking evil of others, and should never exhibit faults requiring the mantle of charity to cover. A parent'sexample should be such as to excite an abhorrence of evil speaking, of tattling and of uncharitable construction of the motives of others. Let the mother begin the proper training of her children in early life and she will be able to so mold their characters that not only will they acquire the habit of bridling the tongue, but they will learn to avoid the presence of the slanderer as they do a deadly viper.
POLITENESS AT HOME.
Genuine politeness is a great fosterer of domestic love, and those who are habitually polished at home are those who exhibit good manners when abroad. When parents receive any little attention from their children, they should thank them for it. They should ask a favor only in a courteous way; never reply to questions in monosyllables, or indulge in the rudeness of paying no attention to a question, for such an example will be surely followed by the children. Parents sometimes thoughtlessly allow their children to form habits of disrespect in the home circle, which crop out in the bad manners that are found in society.
HOW TO REPROVE.
Parents should never check expressions of tenderness in their children, nor humiliate them before others. This will not only cause suffering to little sensitive hearts, but will tend to harden them. Reproof, if needed, should be administered to each child singly and alone.
CHEERFULNESS AT THE TABLE.
Children should not be prohibited from laughing and talking at the table. Joyousness promotes the circulation of the blood, enlivens and invigorates it, and sends it to all parts of the system, carrying with it animation, vigor and life. Controversy should not be permitted at the table, nor should any subjects which call forth political or religious difference. Every topic introduced should be calculated to instruct, interest or amuse. Business matters, past disappointments and mishaps should not be alluded to, nor should bad news be spoken of at the table, nor for half an hour before. All conversation should be of joyous and gladsome character, such as will bring out pleasant remarks and agreeable associations. Reproof should never be administered at the table, either to a child or to a servant; no fault found with anything, and no unkind word should be spoken. If remarks are to be made of absent ones, they should be of a kind and charitable nature. Thus will the family table be the center of pleasant memories in future years, when the family shall have been scattered far and near, and some, perhaps, have been laid in their final resting-place.
TRAIN CHILDREN FOR SOME OCCUPATION.
Chancellor Kent says: "Without some preparation made in youth for the sequel of life, children of all conditions would probably become idle and vicious when they grow up, from want of good instruction and habits,and the means of subsistence, or from want of rational and useful occupations. A parent who sends his son into the world without educating him in some art, science, profession or business, does great injury to mankind, as well as to his son and his own family, for he defrauds the community of a useful citizen, and bequeaths to it a nuisance. That parent who trains his child for some special occupation, who inspires him with a feeling of genuine self-respect, has contributed a useful citizen to society."
BAD TEMPER.
Dread an insubordinate temper, and deal with it as one of the greatest evils. Let the child feel by your manner that he is not a safe companion for the rest of the family when he is in anger. Allow no one to speak to him at such times, not even to answer a question. Take from him books, and whatever he may have, and place him where he shall feel that the indulgence of a bad temper shall deprive him of all enjoyment, and he will soon learn to control himself.
SELFISHNESS.
Selfishness that binds the miser in his chains, that chills the heart, must never be allowed a place in the family circle. Teach the child to share his gifts and pleasures with others, to be obliging, kind and benevolent, and the influence of such instruction may come back into your own bosom, to bless your latest hours.
HOME MAXIMS FOR TRAINING CHILDREN.
Remember that children are men and women in miniature, and though they should be allowed to act as children, still our dealings with them should be manly and not morose. Remember also that every word, tone and gesture, nay, even your dress, makes an impression.
Never correct a child on suspicion, or without understanding the whole matter, nor trifle with a child's feelings when under discipline.
Be always mild and cheerful in their presence, communicative, but never extravagant, trifling or vulgar in language or gesture. Never trifle with a child nor speak beseechingly when it is doing wrong.
Always follow commands with a close and careful watch, until the thing is done, allowing no evasion and no modification, unless the child ask for it, and it be expressly granted.
Never reprove children severely in company, nor hold them up to ridicule, nor make light of their failings.
Never speak in an impatient, pitiful manner, if you have occasion to find fault.
Never say to a child, "I don't believe what you say," nor even imply your doubts. If you have such feelings, keep them to yourself and wait; the truth will eventually be made plain.
Never disappoint the confidence a child places in you, whether it be a thing placed in your care or a promise.
Always give prompt attention to a child when hespeaks, so as to prevent repeated calls, and that he may learn to give prompt attention when you call him.
Never try to impress a child with religious truth when in anger, or talk to him of God, as it will not have the desired effect. Do it under more favorable circumstances.
At the table a child should be taught to sit up and behave in a becoming manner, not to tease when denied, nor to leave his chair without asking. A parent's wish at such time should be a law from which no appeal should be made.
Even in sickness gentle restraint is better for a child than indulgence.
There should never be two sets of manners, the one for home and the other for company, but a gentle behavior should be always required.
Music
"A protection against vice,An incentive to virtue."
The work of home culture should be made a matter of great importance to every one, for upon it depends the happiness of earthly homes, as well as our fitness for the enjoyment of the eternal home in heaven. The sufferings endured here, friend for friend, parents for children, unrequited sacrifices, cares and tears, all tend to discipline us, and prepare us for the recompense which eternity brings.
CULTIVATE MORAL COURAGE.
Moral courage will be cultivated in your children as they observe that you say and do whatever you conscientiously believe to be right and true, without being influenced by the views of others; thus showing them that you fear nothing so much as failing to do your duty. Perhaps this may be difficult to do, but every mother can at least show her appreciation of moral courage when she sees it exhibited by others, and in this way incite its growth in the souls ofher children. Moral courage is a rare endowment, and those who possess it are able to act with perfect independence of the opinions of others, and govern themselves only by the laws of propriety, uprightness and charity.
THE PERNICIOUS INFLUENCE OF INDOLENCE.
If you would preserve your children from the pernicious influence of indolence and all its corrupting tendencies, you must be earnest in purpose, active, energetic and fervent in spirit. Earnestness sharpens the faculties; indolence corrodes and dulls them. By the former we rise higher and higher, by the latter we sink lower and lower. Indolence begets discontent, envy and jealousy, while labor elevates the mind and character. Cultivate in your children habits of thought which will keep their minds occupied upon something that will be of use or advantage, and prevent them from acquiring habits of idleness, if you would secure their future well-being.
It has been said that he who performs no useful act in society, who makes no human being happier, is leading a life of utter selfishness—a life of sin—for a life of selfishness is a life of sin. There is nowhere room for idleness. Work is both a duty and a necessity of our nature, and a befitting reward will ever follow it. To foster and encourage labor in some useful form, is a duty which parents should urge upon their children, if they should seek their best good.
SELF-RESPECT.
It is the mother's duty to see that her children protect themselves from the many pit-falls which surround them, such as malice, envy, conceit, avariciousness, and other evils, by being clad in the armor of self-respect; and then they will be able to encounter temptation and corruption, unstained and unpolluted. This feeling of self-respect is something stronger than self-reliance, higher than pride. It is an energy of the soul which masters the whole being for its good, watching with a never-ceasing vigilance. It is the sense of duty and the sense of honor combined. It is an armor, which, though powerless to shield from sorrows that purify and invigorate, yet will avert all hostile influences that assail, from whatever source they come. The mother having once made her children conscious that always and everywhere they carry with them such an angel to shield, warn and rescue them, may let them go out into the world, and fear nothing from the wiles and temptations which may beset them.
RESULTS OF GOOD-BREEDING IN THE HOME CIRCLE.
The laws of good-breeding in no place bear more gratifying results than in the home circle. Here, tempered with love, and nurtured by all kindly impulses, they bear the choicest fruit. A true lady will show as much courtesy, and observe the duties of politeness as unfailingly, toward every member of her family as towardher most distinguished guest. A true gentleman will feel bound to exercise courtesy and kindness in his intercourse with those who depend upon him for protection and example. Children influenced by such examples at home, will never fail to show to their elders the respect due them, to their young companions the same consideration for their feelings which they expect to meet with in return, nor to servants that patience which even the best too often require. In such a home peace and good will are the household gods.
FAULT-FINDING AND GRUMBLING.
The oil of civility is required to make the wheels of domestic life run smoothly. The habit of fault-finding and grumbling indulged in by some, is an exceedingly vexatious one, and will, in time, ruffle the calmest spirit and the sweetest temper. It is the little annoyances, perplexities and misfortunes which often render life a burden; the little omission of minor duties and the committing of little faults that perpetually scourge us and keep the heart sore. Constant fault-finding, persistent misrepresentations of motives, suspicions of evil where no evil was intended, will complete the work in all but the finest and most heroic natures. They alone can stand the fiery test, coming out purer and stronger for the ordeal. Children who habitually obey the commandment, "Be kind to one another," will find in mature life, how strong the bonds of affection may be that bind the members of the household together.
FAMILY JARS NOT TO BE MADE PUBLIC.
Whatever may be the family disagreements, they should never be made known outside of the home circle, if it can be avoided. Those who expose the faults of the members of their family are severely judged by the world, and no provocation can be a good excuse for it. It is exceedingly vulgar, not to say unchristianlike, for the members of the same family to be at enmity with one another.
YIELDING TO ONE ANOTHER.
One of the greatest disciplines of human life, is that which teaches us to yield our wills to those who have a claim upon us to do so, even in trifling, every-day affairs; the wife to the husband, children to parents, to teachers and to one another. In cases where principle is concerned, it is, of course, necessary to be firm, which requires an exercise of moral courage.
CONFLICTING INTERESTS.
Conflicting interests are a fruitful source of family difficulties. The command of Christ to the two brothers who came to Him with their disputes, "Beware of covetousness," is as applicable among members of the same family now, as it was when those words were spoken. It is better that you have few or no business transactions with any one who is near and dear to you, and connected by family ties. In business relationsmen are apt to be very exact, because of their habits of business, and this exactness is too often construed by near friends and relatives as actuated by purely selfish motives. Upon this rock many a bark of family love has been wrecked.
RELIGIOUS EDUCATION.
It is well to remember that every blessing of our lives, every joy of our hearts and every ray of hope shed upon our pathway, have had their origin in religion, and may be traced in all their hallowed, healthful influences to the Bible. With the dawn of childhood, then, in the earliest days of intelligence, should the mind be impressed and stored with religious truth, and nothing should be allowed to exclude or efface it. It should be taught so early that the mind will never remember when it began to learn; it will then have the character of innate, inbred principles, incorporated with their very being.
OBEDIENCE.
If you would not have all your instructions and counsels ineffectual, teach your children to obey. Government in a family is the great safeguard of religion and morals, the support of order and the source of prosperity. Nothing has a greater tendency to bring a curse upon a family than the insubordination and disobedience of children, and there is no more painful and disgusting sight than an ungoverned child.
INFLUENCE OF EXAMPLE.
Never forget that the first book children read is their parents' example—their daily deportment. If this is forgotten you may find, in the loss of your domestic peace, that while your children well know the right path, they follow the wrong.
Childhood is like a mirror, catching and reflecting images all around it. Remember that an impious, profane or vulgar thought may operate upon the heart of a young child like a careless spray of water upon polished steel, staining it with rust that no efforts can thoroughly efface.
Improve the first ten years of life as the golden opportunity, which may never return. It is the seed time, and your harvest depends upon the seed then sown.
THE INFLUENCE OF BOOKS.
Few mothers can over-estimate the influence which the companionship of books exerts in youth upon the habits and tastes of their children, and no mother who has the welfare of her children at heart will neglect the important work of choosing the proper books for them to read, while they are under her care. She should select for them such as will both interest and instruct, and this should be done during the early years, before their minds shall have imbibed the pernicious teachings of bad books and sensational novels. The poison imbibed from bad books works so secretly that their influence for evil is even greater than the influence of badassociates. The mother has it in her power to make such books the companions and friends of her children as her good judgment may select, and to impress upon them their truths, by conversing with them about the moral lessons or the intellectual instructions they contain. A taste may be easily cultivated for books on natural science and for history, as well as for those that teach important and wholesome lessons for the young, such as are contained in the works of Mrs. Edgeworth, Mrs. Child, Mrs. Yonge, and many other books written for the young.
Harp
I
Thas been seen that in the rearing and training of her children, woman has a great work to perform; that in this work she exerts an incalculable influence upon untold numbers, and that she molds the minds and characters of her sons and daughters. How important, then, that she should cultivate her mental faculties to the highest extent, if for no other reason than to fit herself the better for the performance of this great duty of educating her children. How important it is, also, that she should look to the higher education of her daughters, who, in turn, will become mothers of future generations, or may, perhaps, by some vicissitude of fortune, become dependent upon their own resources for support. With the highest culture of the mental faculties, woman will be best enabled to faithfully perform whatever she may undertake.
TRAIN YOUNG WOMEN TO SOME OCCUPATION.
Owing to the changes in social and industrial life which have crowded many women from their homes into business and public life, women must train for their branch of labor as men train for their work, if they wish to attain any degree of success. Even where women have independent fortunes, their lives will be all the happier if they have been trained to some occupation, that, in case of reverses, may be made a self-sustaining one. A young woman who is able to support herself, increases her chances for a happy marriage, for, not being obliged to rely upon a husband for support or for a home, she is able to judge calmly of an offer when it comes, and is free to accept or decline, because of her independence. Women are capable of and adapted to a large number of employments, which have hitherto been kept from them, and some of these they are slowly wrenching from the hands of the sterner sex. In order that women may enter the ranks of labor which she is forcing open to herself, she needs a special education and training to fit her for such employment.
EDUCATION OF GIRLS TOO SUPERFICIAL.
The school instruction of our girls is too superficial. There is a smattering of too many branches, where two or three systematically studied and thoroughly mastered, would accomplish much more for them in the way of a sound mental training, which is the real object of education. The present method of educating young girls isto give them from five to ten studies, in which they prepare lessons, and this, too, at an age when their physical development suffers and is checked by excess of mental labor. Such a course of instruction, bestowing only a smattering of many branches, wastes the powers of the mind, and deters, rather than aids, self-improvement. It is only a concentration of the mind upon the thorough acquisition of all it undertakes that strengthens the reflective, and forms the reasoning, faculties, and thus helps to lay a solid foundation for future usefulness. The word education means to educe, to draw out the powers of the mind; not the cramming into it of facts, dates and whole pages to be repeatedverbatim.
AN EDUCATION APPROPRIATE TO EACH SEX.
The fact is becoming more palpable every year that there is an education appropriate to each sex; that identical education for the two sexes is so unnatural, that physiology protests against it and experience weeps over it. The physiological motto in education is, "Educate a man for manhood, a woman for womanhood, and both for humanity." Herbert Spencer, in speaking of the want of a proper course of education for girls, says: "It is an astonishing fact that, though on the treatment of offspring depend their lives or deaths, and their moral welfare or ruin, yet not one word of instruction on treatment of offspring is ever given to those who will, by and by, be parents." It will thus be seen, that as women have the care, the training and the education of children, they need an education in a special direction, and should have a very thorough one, to prepare them for the task.
WOMEN SHOULD HAVE A KNOWLEDGE OF THE LAWS OF HEALTH.
Physiology is one of the branches of that higher education, which should be thoroughly pursued by women to enable them to fulfill the various duties of their allotted stations. Yet it is also desirable that they should have a thorough knowledge of all branches that they undertake, and a mastery of the studies pursued by them; for the want of thoroughness in woman's education is an obstacle to success in all branches of labor. But woman should especially have a thorough knowledge of the laws of physiology and hygiene. If she becomes a mother, such knowledge will enable her to guard better the lives and health of her children. She will understand that when she sends out her child insufficiently clad, and he comes home chilled through, that his vitality, his power of resisting disease, is wasted. She will know that by taking the necessary precautions, she may save the child's life; that she must not take him thus chilled, to the fire or into a room highly heated, but that by gentle exercise or friction, she must restore the circulation of the blood, and in using such precautions, she may ward off the attacks of disease that would surely follow if they were neglected. This is but a single case, for there are instances of almost daily occurrence when a proper knowledge of the laws of health will ward off disease, in her own case, as well as in those of variousmembers of her household. The diseases which carry off children, are for the most part, such as ought to be under the control of the women who love them, pet them, educate them, and who would, in many cases, lay down their lives for them.
RESULT OF IGNORANCE OF SANITARY LAWS.
Ignorance of the laws of ventilation in sleeping-rooms and school-rooms is the cause of a vast amount of disease. From ignorance of the signs of approaching disease, children are often punished for idleness, listlessness, sulkiness and wilfulness, and this punishment is too often by confinement in a closed room, and by an increase of tasks; when what is really needed is more oxygen, more open-air exercise, and less study. These forms of ignorance have too often resulted in malignant typhus and brain fevers. Knowledge of the laws of hygiene will often spare the waste of health and strength in the young, and will also spare anxiety and misery to those who love and tend them. If the time devoted to the many trashy so-called "accomplishments" in a young lady's education, were given to a study of the laws of preserving health, how many precious lives might be spared to loving parents, and how many frail and delicate forms, resulting from inattention to physical training, might have become strong and beautiful temples of exalted souls. We are all in duty bound to know and to obey the laws of nature, on which the welfare of our bodies depends, for the full enjoyment ofour faculties can only be attained when the body is in perfect health.