CHAPTER XXII.

IDLENESS A SOURCE OF MISERY.

Perhaps the greatest cause of misery and wretchedness in social life is idleness. The want of something to do is what makes people wicked and miserable. It breeds selfishness, mischief-making, envy, jealousy and vice, in all its most dreadful forms. It is the duty of mothers to see that their daughters are trained to habits of industry, that their minds are at all times occupied, that they are well informed as to household duties, and to the duties of married life, for upon a knowledge of household details may depend their life-long happiness or misery. It is frequently the case, that a girl's education ends just as her mind is beginning to mature and her faculties are beginning to develop. Her education ends when it ought properly to begin. She enters upon marriage entirely unprepared, and, perchance, by some misfortune, she is thrown penniless upon the world with no means of obtaining a livelihood, for her education has never fitted her for any vocation. Not having been properly taught herself, she is not able to teach, and she finds no avenue of employment open to her. An English clergyman, writing upon this subject, says: "Let girls take a serious interest in art; let them take up some congenial study, let it be a branch of science or history. Let them write. They can do almost anything they try to do, but let their mothers never rest until they have implanted in their daughters' lives onegrowing interest beyond flirtation and gossip, whether it be work at the easel, music, literature, the structure of the human body and the laws of health, any solid interest that will occupy their thoughts and their hearts. Idleness, frivolity and ignorance can only be put down by education and employment. In the last resort, the spirit of evil becomes teacher and task-master."

WOMEN SHOULD CULTIVATE A SPIRIT OF INDEPENDENCE.

In this country more than any other, women should, to some extent, cultivate a spirit of independence. They should acquire a knowledge of how business is transacted, of the relation between capital and labor, and of the value of labor, skilled and unskilled. As housekeepers, they would then be saved from many annoyances and mistakes. If they chance to be left alone, widows, or orphans possessing means, they would be saved from many losses and vexatious experiences by knowing how to transact their own business. And those women who are obliged to take care of themselves, who have no means, how necessary is it that they should have a thorough knowledge of some occupation or business by which they can maintain themselves and others dependent upon them. In this country, the daughter brought up in affluence, may, by some rapid change of fortune, be obliged, upon arriving at maturity, to be among the applicants for whatever employment she may be fitted. If she has been trained to some useful occupation, or if her faculties have been developed by a thoroughness of study of any subject she has undertaken,she will be better qualified to prepare herself to fill any position which may be open to her. With a mind drilled by constant study she will the more quickly acquire a knowledge and grasp the details of any subject or business to which she may devote herself.

HEALTH AND LIFE DEPENDENT UPON A HIGHER CULTURE.

Not only wealth and comfort, but health and life are dependent upon a higher form of culture, a more thorough course of education than is now the standard. Not more, but fewer branches of study and a more thorough comprehension of those pursued. Not only are the health and life of each woman dependent upon the kind and degree of the education she receives, but the health and lives of great numbers may depend upon it. In proportion as she has a knowledge of the laws and nature of a subject will she be able to work at it easily, rapidly and successfully. Knowledge of physical laws saves health and life, knowledge of the laws of intellect saves wear and tear of the brain, knowledge of the laws of political economy and business affairs saves anxiety and worrying.

CULTIVATION OF THE MORAL SENSE.

A well educated moral sense prevents idleness and develops a well regulated character, which will preserve from excess those tenderer emotions and deeper passions of woman, which are potent in her for evil or for good, in proportion as they are undisciplined and allowed torun wild, or are trained and developed into a noble and harmonious self-restraint.

The girl who has so educated and regulated her intellect, her tastes, her emotions and her moral sense, as to be able to discern the true from the false, will be ready for the faithful performance of whatever work in life is allotted to her; while she who is allowed to grow up ignorant, idle, vain, frivolous, will find herself fitted for no state of existence, and, in after years, with feelings of remorse and despair over a wasted life, may cast reproach upon those in whose trust was reposed her early education.

It is not for women alone that they should seek a higher education of their faculties and powers but for the sake of the communities in which they live, for the sake of the homes in which they rule and govern, and govern immortal souls, and for the sake of those other homes in the humbler walks of life, where they owe duties as ministering spirits as well as in their own, for in proportion as they minister to the comfort and health of others, so do they exalt their own souls. Women should seek a higher education in order that they may elevate themselves, and that they may prepare themselves for whatever duty they may be called upon to perform. In social life we find that the truest wives, the most patient and careful mothers, the most exemplary housekeepers, the model sisters, the wisest philanthropists and the women of the greatest social influence are women of cultivated minds.

FRENCHwriter says, that the writing a note or letter, the wording of a regret, the prompt or the delayed answering of an invitation, the manner of a salutation, the neglect of a required attention, all betray to the well-bred the degree or the absence of good-breeding.

A person who has self-respect as well as respect for others, should never carelessly write a letter or note.

REQUIREMENTS FOR CORRECT WRITING.

The letter or note should be free from all flourishes. The rules of punctuation should be followed as nearly as possible, and no capital letters used where they are not required. Ink-blots, erasures, and stains on the paper are inadmissible. Any abbreviations of name, rank or title are considered rude, beyond those sanctioned by custom. No abbreviations of words should be indulged in, nor underlining of words intended to be made emphatic. All amounts of money or othernumbers should be written, reserving the use of numerical figures for dates only. It is a good form to have the address of the writer printed at the top of the sheet, especially for all business letters. For letters of friendship and notes, pure white paper and envelopes are in better taste than tinted or colored, and the paper should be of a superior quality. When a page is once written from left to right side, it should not be written over again from top to bottom.

ANONYMOUS LETTERS.

No attention should ever be paid to anonymous letters. The writers of such stamp themselves as cowardly, and cowards do not hesitate to say or write what is not true when it suits their purpose. All statements made in such letters should be regarded as false, and the writers as actuated by some bad motives. Anonymous letters should be burned at once, for they are not to be noticed.

LETTERS AND NOTES.

The writing of notes in the third person is generally confined to notes of invitation, and such notes are never signed.

When a letter is upon business, commencing "Sir" or "Dear Sir," the name of the person addressed may be written either at the beginning or at the close of the letter, in the left hand corner. In letters commencing with the name of the person to whom you are writing,as, "My Dear Mrs. Brown," the name should not be repeated in the left hand corner.

No notes should be commenced very high or very low on the page, but nearer the top than the middle of the sheet.

MANNER OF ADDRESS.

In addressing a clergyman, it is customary to commence "Reverend Sir," or "Dear Sir." It is not now customary to write "B.A." or "M.A." after his name.

Doctors of divinity and medicine are thus distinguished: "To the Rev. John Blair, D.D.," or "Rev. Dr. Blair;" "To G.T. Roscoe, M.D.," "Doctor Roscoe" or "Dr. Roscoe."

The President of the United States and Governors of States, are addressed "His Excellency." U.S. Senators, members of Congress and men distinguished by holding various political offices of an honorable nature, are addressed as "Honorable."

The superscription or address should be written upon the envelope as legibly as possible, beginning a little to the left of the center of the envelope. The number of the house and name of the street may be written immediately under this line, or in the lower left hand corner, as the writer sees fit. The postage stamp should be securely fixed in the upper right hand corner of the envelope. The following forms will show the appearance of a properly addressed envelope:

Envelope 1

Envelope 2

Envelope 3

In sending a letter in care of another person the following form is the manner in which the envelope should be addressed:

Envelope 4

In sending a letter by a friend or acquaintance, and not through the mail, acknowledge the courtesy of your friend on the envelope. The letter should not be sealed. The following is the proper form:

Envelope 5

A note or letter sent to a friend residing in the same place, by a messenger, may be addressed as follows, or bear the full address:

Envelope 6

FORM OF A LETTER.

Form of a Letter

DEGREES OF FORMALITY OBSERVED.

In commencing and signing notes and letters there is a difference of opinion in the degrees of formality to be observed, but generally this scale is used according to the degree of acquaintance or friendship. "Madam" or "Sir," "Dear Madam" or "Dear Sir," "My Dear Madam" or "My Dear Sir," "Dear Mrs. Brown" or "Dear Mr. Brown," "My Dear Mrs. Brown" or "My Dear Mr. Brown," "My Dear Friend." In closing a note, the degrees are implied as follows: "Truly Yours" or "Yours Truly," "Very Truly Yours," "Sincerely Yours," "Cordially Yours," "Faithfully Yours," "Affectionately Yours." The proper words should be carefully selected, as the conclusion of a note or letter makes an impression on the person reading it. To aged persons the form, "With great respect, sincerely yours," recommends itself as a proper form. "Yours, etc.," is considered a rude ending. If you are sufficiently well acquainted with a person to address her "My Dear Mrs. ——," do not sign "Yours Truly," or "Truly Yours," as this is the form to be used in writing to strangers or in business letters.

SIGNATURE OF LADIES.

A married lady should not sign herself with the "Mrs." before her baptismal name, or a single lady with the "Miss." In writing to strangers who do not know whether to address you as Mrs. or Miss, theaddress should be given in full, after signing your letter; as "Mrs. John Smith," followed by the direction; or if unmarried, the "Miss" should be placed in brackets a short distance preceding the signature.

Only the letters of unmarried ladies and widows are addressed with their baptismal names. The letters of married ladies are addressed with their husbands' names, as "Mrs. John Smith."

LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION.

Letters of introduction should be brief and carefully worded. Give in full the name of the person introduced, the city or town he is from, intimating the mutual pleasure that you believe the acquaintance will confer, adding a few remarks concerning the one introduced, as circumstances seem to require. Modest persons sometimes shrink from delivering letters of introduction which appear to them to be undeservedly complimentary. Letters of introduction are left unsealed, to be sealed before delivery by the one introduced. They should receive immediate attention by the parties who receive them. When a gentleman delivers such a letter to a lady, he is at liberty to call upon her, sending her his card to ascertain whether she will receive him then, or appoint another hour that will be more convenient. The same rule is to be observed by those whose stay in the city is short. He may also send it to her with his card bearing his address.

A letter of introduction should not be given, unlessthe person writing it is very well acquainted with the one whom he introduces, and the one to whom he writes. If the person who receives such a letter is really well-bred, you will hear from him or her within twenty-four hours, for a letter of introduction is said to be like a draft, it must be cashed at sight. The one receiving it either invites you to dine, or to meet others, or to a drive, or to visit some place of amusement. Too great caution cannot be exercised in giving a letter which makes such demands upon an acquaintance.

When the letter of introduction is left with a card, if there is a gentleman in the family, he may call upon the stranger the next day, unless some engagement prevents, when he should send his card with an invitation. If the letter introduces a gentleman to a lady, she may write a note of invitation in answer, appointing a time for him to call.

The following is an appropriate form for a letter of introduction.

Letter of Introduction

The envelope containing a letter of introduction, should be addressed as follows:

Envelope Containing Letter of Introduction

NOTES OF CONGRATULATION OR CONDOLENCE.

Notes of congratulation and condolence should be brief, and the letter should only be sent by near and intimate friends. Do not allude to any subject except the one for which you are offering your congratulations or sympathy. Such notes should be made expressive of real feeling, and not be mere matters of form.

INVITATION TO A RECEPTION.

For a general reception, invitations are printed on cards. Their style is like the following, and do not require an answer unless "R.S.V.P." is upon one corner.

Invitation to a Reception

INVITATION TO A BALL.

The "At Home" form of invitation for a reception is often adopted for a ball with the word "Dancing" in one corner, though many people use the "At Home" form only for receptions. For balls the hours are not limited as at receptions. When the above form is not used for a ball, the invitation may read as follows:

"Mrs. Blair requests the pleasure of Miss Milton's company at a ball, on Tuesday, February 7, at 9 o'clock."

Invitations to a ball are always given in the name of the lady of the house, and require an answer, which should not be delayed. If the invitation is accepted, the answer should be as follows:

"Miss Milton accepts with pleasure Mrs. Blair's kind invitation for Tuesday, February 7."

If it is found impossible to attend, a note of regrets, something like the following, should be sent:

"Miss Milton regrets that intended absence from home (or whatever may be the preventing cause) prevents her accepting Mrs. Blair's kind invitation for February 7."

INVITATION TO A LARGE PARTY.

The invitation to a large party is similar to that for a ball, only the words "at a ball" are omitted, and the hour may be earlier. The notes of acceptance and regret are the same as for a ball. If the party is a small one, it should be indicated by inserting the words, "to a small evening party," so that there may be no misunderstanding. A large party calls for full evening dress, and it would be embarrassing for a lady or gentleman to go to a house in full evening dress, expecting to find a large party there in similar costumes, and meet only a few friends and acquaintances plainly dressed. If there is any special feature which is to give character to the evening, it is best to mention this fact in the note of invitation. Thus the words "musical party," "to take part in dramatic readings," "amateur theatricals," will denote the character of the evening's entertainment. If you have programmes, enclose one in the invitation.

INVITATION TO A PUBLIC ENTERTAINMENT.

An invitation from a gentleman to a lady to attend a concert, lecture, theatre, opera or other amusement, may read as follows:

"Mr. Hayden would be pleased to have Miss Morton's company to the Academy of Music, on Monday evening, November 8, when 'Richelieu' will be played by Edwin Booth's Company."

An invitation of this kind demands an immediate answer of acceptance or regrets. A previous engagement may be a reason for rejection.

DINNER INVITATIONS.

These are written in the name of the husband and wife, and demand an immediate reply. This form may be used:

"Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Snow request the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. Horace Allen's company at dinner, on Tuesday, the 13th of January, at 7 o'clock."

A note of acceptance may read as follows:

"Mr. and Mrs. Horace Allen accept with pleasure Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Snow's kind invitation to dine with them on Tuesday, the 13th inst., at 7 o'clock."

A note of regret may read:

"Mr. and Mrs. Horace Allen regret exceedingly that sickness in the family (or whatever the cause may be) prevents the acceptance of Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Snow's kind invitation to dine with them on Tuesday, January 13th."

INVITATIONS TO TEA.

An invitation to a tea-drinking may be less formal and should partake more of the nature of a private note; thus:

"Dear Miss Brock: Some friends are coming to drink tea with me on Thursday, and I should be glad of the pleasure of your company also. Please do not disappoint me."

An invitation of this informal nature needs no reply, unless "R.S.V.P." is appended, in which case theanswer must be returned, if possible, by the messenger who brought it, or sent at once, as your friend may depend upon having a certain number of people at her tea-drinking, and if you cannot go, she will want to supply your place.

LESS FORMAL INVITATIONS.

Invitations of a less formal character are sent for charades, private theatricals, and for archery, croquet, sailing and garden parties; but, however informal the invitation (except only when a visiting card is used) on no account neglect to give immediate attention to it, by sending an acceptance or a regret, for any want of courtesy in this respect is unpardonable.

PROMPTNESS IN ANSWERING.

All invitations requiring answers should be answered as soon as possible after receiving them. The French have a saying, applicable to all notes of invitation, to the effect that it is as important to reply as promptly to a note requiring an answer, as it is to a question in speaking. All refined people who are accustomed to the best social forms, consider that it would be an unpardonable negligence to omit for a single day replying to an invitation or a note requiring a reply.

In accepting dinner invitations, repeat the hour and day named in your letter of acceptance, in order that if any mistake has been made it may be corrected.

Promptly acknowledge all attentions you receive, such as receiving presents of books, flowers, etc.

EXPRESSIONS TO BE USED.

The expression "presents compliments" has become obsolete in the writing of invitations. The expression "kind" or "very kind" invitation has taken the place of "polite," in notes of acceptance or regret. Be particular to distinguish between "go" and "come," you go to a friend's house and your friend comes to your house.

TIME TO SEND INVITATIONS.

Invitations for parties and entertainments of a formal nature, can be sent out for a week or two weeks before the entertainment is to take place. A notice of not less than one week is expected for such invitations. They should be printed or engraved on small note paper or large cards, with the envelopes to match, with no colors in the monogram, if one is used.

INVITATIONS FOR SEVERAL MEMBERS OF A FAMILY.

It is not considered good form to have one card of invitation answer for several persons belonging to the same family, or to address an invitation "Mrs. Blank and family," as it indicates a scarcity of cards. One card or invitation may be sent to Mr. and Mrs. Blank, and one each to the several members of the family who are to be invited.

THE LEAST FORMAL INVITATIONS.

The least formal, of formal invitations, is when a lady sends or leaves her own visiting card with the invitationupon it. An invitation of this kind need not be answered unless an "R.S.V.P." (Respondez s'il vous plait), is on the card. You go or not, as you please, but if you do not go, you call, or leave a card as soon after as is convenient.

UNCIVIL ANSWERS.

Uncivil and curt, not to say rude, answers are sometimes returned to invitations, more frequently the result of carelessness in their writers than of premeditated rudeness.

"Mr. and Mrs. Adam Brown regret that they cannot accept Mrs. Smith's invitation for Wednesday evening,"

is a rude form of regret.

"Mr. and Mrs. Adam Brown decline Mrs. Moses Smith's invitation for Friday evening,"

is a still ruder form.

A curt and thoughtless reply is:

"Mr. and Mrs. Adam Brown's compliments and regrets for Friday evening."

REASONS FOR REGRETS.

"All regrets from persons who are not able to accept invitations, should contain a reason for regretting," is a rule strictly observed in our best society, and is considered especially binding in answering a first invitation. If persons are in mourning, they regret that a recent bereavement prevents them from accepting. Those contemplating being absent from home, regret that contemplated absence from home prevents them from accepting. "A previous engagement" is made the excuse when there is an engagement either at home or away from it, and also when one has no inclination to accept; which makes it quite necessary for those who really regret their inability to accept, to mention what that engagement is.

THE FAMILY LETTER.

It seems hardly necessary to give the form of a letter from one member of a family to another. It is often the case that letters sent from home to an absent member are decidedly unsatisfactory, if not to a great extent of little interest outside of one or two facts mentioned. Consequently some hint as to what those letters should be, are here given. They should be written as though the writer were talking, using familiar expressions, and such peculiarities as the writer possesses in ordinary speech should find a place in the letter. The writer may speak of many trivial things at and about home, and gossipy matters in the neighborhood, and should keep the absent one posted upon all minor facts and occurrences, as well as the more important ones. The writer may make inquiries as to how the absent one is enjoying himself, whether he finds any place better than home, and ask such other questions as he may desire, concluding with sincere expressions of affection from various members of the family. The absent one may, in like manner, express himself freely on all subjects, describe his journey minutely, and speak of whatever he may feel deep interest in. In short, a family letter may be as gossipy as the writer can make it, withoutmuch regard to an attempt at showy or dignified composition.

THE LETTER OF FRIENDSHIP.

This should be of a more dignified tone, contain less trivialities than the family letter, and should embrace matters that will be of interest to both. A letter of friendship should be answered in due time, according to the intimacy of the parties, but should not be delayed long enough to allow the friendship to cool, if there is a desire to keep it warm.

THE LOVE LETTER.

Of this it may be only said, that while it may be expressive of sincere esteem and affection, it should be of a dignified tone, and written in such a style, that if it should ever come under the eyes of others than the party to whom it was written, there may be found in it nothing of which the writer may be ashamed, either of silliness or of extravagant expression.

BUSINESS LETTERS.

These should be brief and to the point, should be of plain chirography, and relate to the business in hand, in as few words and as clearly as possible. Begin at once without apology or explanation, and finish up the matter pertaining to the business. If an apology or explanation is due, it may be made briefly at the close of the letter, after the business has been attended to. A letter on business should be answered at once, or as soon as possible after receiving it.

It is allowable, in some cases, upon receiving a brief business letter, to write the reply on the same page, beneath the original letter, and return both letter and answer together.

Among business letters may be classed all correspondence relating to business, applications for situations, testimonials regarding the character of a servant or employe, letters requesting the loan of money or an article, and letters granting or denying the favor; while all forms of drawing up notes, drafts and receipts may properly be included. The forms of some of these are here given.

LETTERS REQUESTING EMPLOYMENT.

A letter of this kind should be short, and written with care and neatness, that the writer may both show his penmanship and his business-like qualities, which are often judged of by the form of his letter. It may be after this fashion:

New York, March 1, 1880.Messrs. Lord & Noble,Dear Sirs:Having heard that you are in need of more assistance in your establishment (or store, office) I venture to ask you for employment. I can refer you to Messrs. Jones & Smith, my late employers, as to my qualifications, should you decide to consider my application.Yours truly,James Roberts.

New York, March 1, 1880.

Having heard that you are in need of more assistance in your establishment (or store, office) I venture to ask you for employment. I can refer you to Messrs. Jones & Smith, my late employers, as to my qualifications, should you decide to consider my application.

Yours truly,James Roberts.

LETTERS REGARDING THE CHARACTER OF A SERVANT.

Dear Madam: Sarah Riley, having applied to me for the position of cook, refers me to you for a character. I feel particularly anxious to obtain a good servant for the coming winter, and shall therefore feel obliged by your making me acquainted with any particulars referring to her character, and remain, madam,Your very obedient servant,Mrs. George Stone.To Mrs. Alfred Stark.

Your very obedient servant,Mrs. George Stone.

To Mrs. Alfred Stark.

Mrs. George Stone,Dear Madam: It gives me pleasure to say that Sarah Riley lived with me for two years, and during that time I found her active, diligent and efficient. She is a superior cook, and I have full confidence in her honesty. I feel that I can recommend her with full confidence of her being likely to give you satisfaction. I am, madam,Your very obedient servant,Mrs. Alfred Stark.

Dear Madam: It gives me pleasure to say that Sarah Riley lived with me for two years, and during that time I found her active, diligent and efficient. She is a superior cook, and I have full confidence in her honesty. I feel that I can recommend her with full confidence of her being likely to give you satisfaction. I am, madam,

Your very obedient servant,Mrs. Alfred Stark.

Mrs. George Stone,Dear Madam: In replying to your note of inquiry, I beg to inform you that Sarah Riley, who lived with me in the capacity of cook, left my services because I did not find her temper and habits in all respects satisfactory. She was thoroughly competent as a cook, but in other respects I cannot conscientiously recommend her. I remain,Yours, very truly,Mrs. Alfred Stark.

Dear Madam: In replying to your note of inquiry, I beg to inform you that Sarah Riley, who lived with me in the capacity of cook, left my services because I did not find her temper and habits in all respects satisfactory. She was thoroughly competent as a cook, but in other respects I cannot conscientiously recommend her. I remain,

Yours, very truly,Mrs. Alfred Stark.

NOTES, DRAFTS, BILLS AND RECEIPTS.

The following are forms of notes, drafts, receipts, etc.:

Promissory Note Without Interest.

$500Cincinnati, O., June 6, 1880.Sixty days after date, I promise to pay Samuel Archover, or order, at my office in Cincinnati, five hundred dollars, value received.Timothy Mortgrave.

Cincinnati, O., June 6, 1880.

Sixty days after date, I promise to pay Samuel Archover, or order, at my office in Cincinnati, five hundred dollars, value received.

Timothy Mortgrave.

Promissory Note With Interest but not Negotiable.

$125.30.Chicago, Sept. 2, 1880.For value received, I promise to pay Daniel Cartright one hundred and twenty-five dollars and thirty cents, on August 12th next, with interest at seven per cent. after January 1, 1881.John S. Allbright.

Chicago, Sept. 2, 1880.

For value received, I promise to pay Daniel Cartright one hundred and twenty-five dollars and thirty cents, on August 12th next, with interest at seven per cent. after January 1, 1881.

John S. Allbright.

A Negotiable Note Payable to Bearer.

$75.Detroit, Mich., Oct. 8, 1881.Thirty days after date, for value received, I promise to pay Silas G. Smithers, or bearer, at my office in Detroit, seventy-five dollars with interest from date.Samuel Q. Pettibone.

Detroit, Mich., Oct. 8, 1881.

Thirty days after date, for value received, I promise to pay Silas G. Smithers, or bearer, at my office in Detroit, seventy-five dollars with interest from date.

Samuel Q. Pettibone.

Form of a Receipt.

$25.New York, Nov. 3, 1880.Received from James O. Mitchell, twenty-five dollars, to apply on account.Smith, Jones & Co.

New York, Nov. 3, 1880.

Received from James O. Mitchell, twenty-five dollars, to apply on account.

Smith, Jones & Co.

Form of a Draft, Time from Sight.

$1,000.Detroit, Mich., July 7, 1880.At ten days sight, pay to the order of J. Smith & Co., one thousand dollars, and charge the same to the account ofShepard & NilesTo Samuel Stoker & Co.,Indianapolis, Ind.

Detroit, Mich., July 7, 1880.

At ten days sight, pay to the order of J. Smith & Co., one thousand dollars, and charge the same to the account ofShepard & Niles

To Samuel Stoker & Co.,Indianapolis, Ind.

A Draft or Order "Without Grace."

$175.Cincinnati, Ohio, Aug. 12, 1880.At sight, without grace, pay to F. B. Dickerson & Co., one hundred and seventy-five dollars, and charge to the account of H.S. Morehouse.To Traders' National Bank,Cincinnati, Ohio.

Cincinnati, Ohio, Aug. 12, 1880.

At sight, without grace, pay to F. B. Dickerson & Co., one hundred and seventy-five dollars, and charge to the account of H.S. Morehouse.

To Traders' National Bank,Cincinnati, Ohio.

Form of a Bill.

Buffalo, N.Y., Dec. 6, 1880.Martin Hughes, Dr.To John J. Hart.Four volumes History of France, at $2.50 per volume, $10.00.Received payment.

Buffalo, N.Y., Dec. 6, 1880.

To John J. Hart.

Four volumes History of France, at $2.50 per volume, $10.00.

Received payment.

Nsociety, everybody should receive equal attention, the young as well as the old. A high authority says, "If we wish our young people to grow up self-possessed and at ease, we must early train them in those graces by giving them the same attention and consideration we do those of maturer years. If we snub them, and systematically neglect them, they will acquire an awkwardness and a deprecatory manner, which will be very difficult for them to overcome."

GRACEFULNESS OF CARRIAGE.

Physical education is indispensable to every well-bred man and woman. A gentleman should not only know how to fence, to box, to ride, to shoot and to swim, but he should also know how to carry himself gracefully, and how to dance, if he would enjoy life to the utmost. A graceful carriage can best be attained by the aid of a drilling master, as dancing and boxing are taught. Aman should be able to defend himself from ruffians, if attacked, and also to defend women from their insults. Dancing and calisthenics are also essential for a lady, for the better the physical training, the more graceful and self-possessed she will be. Every lady should know how to dance, whether she intends to dance in society or not. Swimming, skating, archery, games of lawn-tennis, and croquet, riding and driving, all aid in strengthening the muscles and giving open air exercise, and are therefore desirable recreations for the young of both sexes.

ATTITUDE.

Awkwardness of attitude is a mark of vulgarity. Lolling, gesticulating, fidgeting, handling an eye-glass, a watch-chain or the like, gives an air ofgaucherie. A lady who sits cross-legged or sidewise on her chair, who stretches out her feet, who has a habit of holding her chin, or twirling her ribbons or fingering her buttons; a man who lounges in his chair, nurses his leg, bites his nails, or caresses his foot crossed over on his knee, shows clearly a want of good home training. Each should be quiet and graceful, either in their sitting or standing position, the gentleman being allowed more freedom than the lady. He may sit cross-legged if he wishes, but should not sit with his knees far apart, nor with his foot on his knee. If an object is to be indicated, you must move the whole hand, or the head, but never point the finger.

COUGHING, SNEEZING, ETC.

Coughing, sneezing, clearing the throat, etc., if done at all, must be done as quickly as possible. Snuffing, hawking and expectorating must never be done in society. A sneeze can be checked by pressing the thumb or fingers firmly across the bridge of the nose. If not checked, the face should be buried in the handkerchief, during the act of sneezing, for obvious reasons.

ANECDOTES, PUNS AND REPARTEES.

Anecdotes should be seldom brought into a conversation. Puns are always regarded as vulgar. Repartee should be indulged in with moderation, and never kept up, as it degenerates into the vulgarity of an altercation.

A SWEET AND PURE BREATH.

The breath should be kept sweet and pure. Onions are the forbidden fruit, because of their offensiveness to the breath. No gentleman should go into the presence of ladies smelling of tobacco.

SMOKING.

It is neither respectful nor polite to smoke in the presence of ladies, even though they have given permission, nor should a gentleman smoke in a room which ladies are in the habit of frequenting. In those homes when the husband is permitted to smoke in any room of the house, the sons will follow the father's example, and the air of the rooms becomes like that of a public house.

SUPPRESSION OF EMOTION.

Suppression of undue emotion, whether of laughter, of anger, or of mortification, of disappointment, or of selfishness in any form, is a mark of good breeding.

A GOOD LISTENER.

To be a good listener is almost as great an art as to be a good talker; but it is not enough only to listen, you must endeavor to seem interested in the conversation of those who are talking. Only the low-bred allow their impatience to be manifest.

GIVE PRECEDENCE TO OTHERS.

Give precedence to those older or of higher social position than yourself, unless they required you to take the precedence, when it is better to obey than to refuse. Be more careful to give others their rank of precedence than to take your own.

BE MODERATE.

Always express your own opinions with modesty, and, if called upon, defend them, but without that warmth which may lead to hard feelings. Do not enter into argument. Having spoken your mind, and thus shown you are not cowardly in your beliefs and opinions, drop the subject and lead to some other topic. There is seldom any profit in idle discussion.

SINGING AND PLAYING IN SOCIETY.

A lady in company should never exhibit any anxiety to sing or play: but being requested to do so, if she intends to comply, she should do so at once, without waiting to be urged. If she refuses, she should do so in a manner that shall make her decision final. Having complied, she should not monopolize the evening with her performances, but make room for others.

RECEIVING AND MAKING PRESENTS.

Emerson says: "Our tokens of love are for the most part barbarous, cold and lifeless, because they do not represent our life. The only gift is a portion of thyself. Therefore let the farmer give his corn; the miner his gem; the sailor coral or shells; the painter his picture, and the poet his poem." To persons of refined nature, whatever the friend creates takes added value as part of themselves—part of their lives, as it were, having gone into it. People of the highest rank, abroad, will often accept, with gratitude, a bit of embroidery done by a friend, a poem inscribed to them by an author; a painting executed by some artist; who would not care for the most expensive bauble that was offered them. Mere costliness does not constitute the soul of a present; it is the kind feeling that it manifests which gives it its value. People who possess noble natures do not make gifts where they feel neither affection nor respect, but their gifts are bestowed out of the fullness of kind hearts.

A present should be acknowledged without delay, but you must not follow it quickly by a return. It is to be taken for granted that a gift is intended to afford pleasure to the recipient, not to be regarded as a question of investment or exchange. Never allude to a present you have given, unless you have reason to believe that it has not been received by the person to whom it was sent.

Unmarried ladies should not accept presents from gentlemen who are neither related nor engaged to them, nor indebted to them for some marked favors. A married lady may accept presents from a gentleman who is indebted to her for hospitality.

In presenting a book to a friend, do not write in it the name of the person to whom it is given. But this is a rule better honored in its breach than in its observance, when the giver of the book is its author.

Presents made by a married lady to a gentleman, should be in the name of both herself and her husband.

Never refuse a present if offered in kindness, unless the circumstances are such that you cannot, with propriety, receive it. Nor, in receiving a present, make such comments as would seem to indicate that your friend cannot afford to make the present. On the other hand, never make a present which you cannot afford to make. In that case the recipient, if he or she knows anything of your circumstances, will think that you had better kept it yourself.

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