CHAPTER EIGHTIn which Mr. Pomper declares his intenshuns an’ gives his views on matrimony
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CHAPTER EIGHT
IN WHICH MR. POMPER DECLARES HIS INTENSHUNS AN’ GIVES HIS VIEWS ON MATRIMONY
As our party sort o’ swep’ gracefully down into the hall, we thought we would step outdoors for a minute for a breath of fresh air. It looked gay and almost fairy-like out there. The two broad piazzas wuz all lit up with colored lights and baskets of posies hung down between ’em full of bloom, and the broad piazzas and wide flight of steps leadin’ up to ’em wuz full of folks in bright array, walkin’ and talkin’ and laughin’ makin’ the seen more fair and picture-like. And in front wuz the long grassy lawn with its gay flower beds, and the long walk down to the wharf all sparklin’ with lights, and beyend, in front of it all, lay the deep river, with its sighin’ voice borne in on the stillness, jest as in the hearts of every one of that throng, way back beyend the gayety and sparklin’ mirth lay the deep sea of their own inner life, with its melancholy126hantin’ memories, its sighin’ complainin’ voices, its deeps that nobody else could fathom.
And while we stood there, I wrapped in reverie and a gray zephyr shawl, a broad beam of light wuz cast from somewhere fur off, shinin’ full and square first one side then the other side of the river. Nearer and nearer it seemed to be comin’ towards us, and wherever that light fell a picture wuz brung quick as a flash of lightnin’ out of the darkness.
It seemed some like the day of Judgment shinin’ through the darkness of men’s lives and bringin’ out the hidden things. Way out in the distance where nothin’ could be seen but blackness and shadows, the beam would fall and a island would stand out plain before us, houses with men and wimmen on the piazzas, a boat house, a boat with men and wimmen and children in it. You could see for one dazzlin’ minute the color of their garments, and the motion of their hands and arms, then the sea of darkness would engulf ’em agin, and on the nigh side out of the darkness would shine out a vision of the shore with trees standin’ up green and stately, and you could see the color of leaf and bough and almost the flutter of their leaves. A green lawn, rosy flower beds, a pretty cottage,127faces at the windows, agin darkness swallowed it up, and broad and brilliant the great shaft of light lay on the blackness, and on the shinin’ water fur ahead a boat stood out vivid. Its white sail shone, the young man at the helm with uplifted head wuz wavin’ a greetin’, the girl in the other end of the boat looked like a picture in her broad hat and white wrap, and beyend ’em and all round ’em, wuz little boats, and fur ahead a big steamer.
Anon it wuz turned sideways, and a dark mysterious craft wuz seen sailin’ by mysteriously, one of the big lake vessels goin’ I know not where. Anon a dazzlin’ flash swep’ right across us, bringin’ Faith and me and my pardner out into almost blindin’ relief, his bald head shinin’ in the foreground, his cravat gleamin’ almost blindin’ly, and with music and bright light shinin’ from the cabin winders, and decks loaded with gay passengers, the Search Light Steamer swep’ up to the wharf.
The ball had not yet arrove at its hite when we entered the festivious hall, so we readily found seats in a commogious corner. On one side on me wuz my pardner, on the off side sot Faith in her serene beauty. In front of me and on each side the gay crowd of dancers.128
Pretty young girls arrayed in every color of the rain-bow. Handsome young men, ditto homely ones, little children as pretty as posies with their white dresses and white silk stockin’s and slippers dancin’ as gayly as any of the rest, all on ’em big and little, graceful and awkward, swingin’, turnin’, glidin’ along, swingin’, turnin’, all keepin’ time to the sweet swayin’ tones of the music, music that seemed sometimes to bear my soul off some distance away and swing it round and dance with it a spell, and then whirl it back agin to the Present and Josiah. It wuz a queer time, but very riz up and enjoyable in spite of some little sharp twinges that come anon or oftener, which might have been conscience, but which I tried to lay off onto rumatiz.
Two wimmen wuz talkin’ near us, sez one of ’em, “There he goes agin, see him prancin’ round.” And she motioned to a young chap I’d noticed who seemed to be the most indefatigable dancer in the hull lot, and his face wuz determined lookin’, as if his hull life depended on gallopin’ round the room, and as if he never wuz goin’ to stop.
“See him,” sez the woman, “that young man’s father and grand-father would have129swooned away if they’d thought that any of their kin would dance.”
“Wuz they so good?” sez the other woman.
“No,” wuz the reply, “they had all sorts of narrowness, sins and coniptions, but they thought dancin’ wuz the wickedest thing ever done. This boy wuz brought up as strict as a he nun, and now see him prancin’ round!”
And I spoke up and sez, “I hope he will prance off some of them hereditary sins, if he’s got to prance.” They looked round at me considerable cool and I said no more. But everybody wuzn’t so clost mouthed, for pretty soon a old lady come and sot down in a chair by the side of me—Faith had moved a little back—and she sez:
“I want to dance; I love it dearly.”
I looked up at her in amaze. Her cheeks wuz fell in. Her brow wuz yellered and furrowed with years, and though her dress wuz gay she couldn’t conceal Time’s ravages.
“Dance,” sez I kinder dreamily and brow beat, “well, why don’t you dance?”
Sez she, “I don’t know any of the gentlemen here.”
I felt a movement on my nigh side and see that Josiah wuz leanin’ forward in deep interest,130and thinkses I, he is sorry for her folly, he has a noble heart. Well, ere long she riz up and went out into the hall, and I mused on what I had so often mused on—how necessary it wuz for everybody to keep on their own forts—sixty years had fled since dancin’ wuz her becomin’ fort, now a rockin’ chair and knittin’ work wuz her nateral fort, but she didn’t realize it.
Well, the dancin’ kep’ on, the music pealed out sweet peals, heavenly sweet, heavenly sad, and I wuz carried some distance away from myself and heeded not what wuz passin’ by my side. Anon a dance come on that wuz called a German. In some of the figgers they seemed to be givin’ presents to each other, and had these presents kinder strung onto ’em, same as savages ornament themselves with beads and things, though these wuz quite pretty lookin’ and seemed made up of posies and ribbins and pretty little trinkets. And then the lights wuz lowered and I see a long line of figgers come glidin’ in, keepin’ step to the music, each one bearin’ a pretty little colored lantern. And as I looked on my eyes wuz almost stunted and blinded by a sight I see. Who wuz the couple bringin’ up the rear? Wuz it—it could not be—but131yet itwuzmy pardner, leadin’ in the ancient dame, who wuz footin’ it merrily on her old toes, or as merrily as she could, liable to fall down every step with rumatiz and old age. And what did my pardner bear in his hand!
That very day in goin’ about the place he found in a store an old tin lantern, a relic of the past someone had left there to be sold. It wuz a lantern that used to be in vogue before Josiah Allen wuz born, a anteek tin lantern with holes in the sides, and one candle power. He had bought it greedily, sayin’ it wuz jest like one his grandpa had when he wuz a child.
He had left it in the office, and had lit that lantern and wuz now hangin’ along in the rear of that gay procession, with that mummy-like figger, a jest, a byword and a sneer, for laughter riz up round ’em and sneers follered ’em as they swep’ onwards. As they come nigh me I riz up almost wildly and ketched holt of my pardner and sez I:
“Desist! Josiah Allen, stop to once!”
The aged female looked at me in surprise and feeble remonstrance, and sez she:
“Can it be that you’re jealous?”
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“As they come nigh me I riz up almost wildly and ketched holt of my pardner and sez I: ‘Desist! Josiah Allen, stop to once!’ The aged female looked at me in surprise.” (See page 131)
“As they come nigh me I riz up almost wildly and ketched holt of my pardner and sez I: ‘Desist! Josiah Allen, stop to once!’ The aged female looked at me in surprise.” (See page 131)
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Even in that awful moment my powers of deep reasonin’ didn’t desert me and I said:
“If I wuz goin’ to be jealous I wouldn’t be of a animated mummy, or livin’ skeleton!” And to my companion I sez, “Josiah Allen, if you don’t set down here by me, I will part with you to once before the first Square or Justice I can ketch!”
He see determination on my eye-brow, and as they wuz in the extreme rear of the line, and it didn’t break up nothin’, I ketched the lantern out of his hand and blowed it out, and put it under his chair as he sot down in it. And then to her I sez with a almost frozen politeness:
“I’d advise you, mom, to soak your feet and go to bed.”
She vanished. But to my pardner my voice lost that icy coldness and become het up with indignation, and I sez, “What tempted you, Josiah Allen, to make a perfect fool of yourself—a show for hollow worldlings to sneer at!”
“Fool!” sez he in bitter axents, “you call me that when I wuz strictly actin’ out what you’ve always ordered me to do. You’ve always told me to be good to females, to put myself out and make a martyr of myself if necessary for their good. But it is the last time!” sez he bitterly, “the very last time I will ever have anything134to do with your sect in any way, shape or manner. I get no thanks from you for anything I do, and the worm may jest as well turn first as last.”
“Do you pretend to say, Josiah, that you did this to please me?”
“Yes mom, I do! I did it to please you, and to take that woman’s part. You hearn her say she wanted to dance, but no man wuz forthcomin’.”
“Dance!” sez I, “dance at ninety years old!”
“She hain’t much more’n eighty,” sez he, “I don’t believe. But anyway, you won’t git me into such a scrape agin. Your sect may be trod on for all that I care. They may set round till they grow to their chairs and be trompled down into the ground—and I jest as soon tromple on a few myself,” sez he recklessly.
Oh dear me! what a mysterious curous trial pardners be more’n half the time! but still I feel that they pay after all.
Let him talk as he would I knew he wuz only carryin’ out that fad to try to be genteel and fashionable, and oh how much trouble I’ve seen, from first to last, with that sperit in my pardner!
Well, we didn’t stay down much longer. Faith had stepped out of the long winder135behind us and wuz lookin’ off onto the glorified river durin’ thiscontrary temps, and as I glanced out of the winder to look for her I see the huge form of Mr. Pomper hoverin’ in the foreground, and I sez to Josiah, “I think it is time to retire and go to bed.”
And Faith bein’ ready to go, we ascended to our rooms. As we passed one of the landin’ places on the staircase where some chairs wuz placed, I see the ancient dame settin’ and sarahuptishously rubbin’ her ankle jints. She straightened up and looked kinder coquetishly at my pardner, but he swep’ by her as if she wuz so much dirt under his feet. Truly he seemed to be carryin’ out his plan of ignorin’ my sect and passin’ ’em by scornfully. I may see trouble with that sperit in him yet.
The next mornin’ Josiah wanted Faith and I to go out with him fishin’ and have a fish dinner, a sort of a picnic, on some island on the fishin’ grounds. That’s quite a fashionable entertainment. They fish till they git real hungry I spoze, and then the boatman puts into some sheltered cove, and the party goes on shore, builds a fire and cooks some of the fish they have got, and make coffee, and with the nice lunch they took from the hotel, they have a136splendid dinner I spoze, and take sights of comfort.
Why lots of folks there would go out day after day early in the morning, and stay until night, and then would walk proudly in with a long string of fish, and would lay ’em on the desk in the office, and a admirin’ crowd would gather round to look at ’em and wonder how much they weighed. Why wimmen and children would catch fish so big that it is a wonder they could draw ’em into the boat, and I spoze they did have help from the stronger sect (stronger arms I mean). And besides the fish I spoze they ketch happiness and health.
Well, Josiah wuz rampant to go. He said he wanted to surprise the crowd in the hotel and the hull of Well’s Island with the fish he would git, and then I spoze the idee of the dinner wuz drawin’ him onward. I brung up several arguments, such as the danger, fatigue, etc., but he stood firm. But I had one weepon left that seldom failed, and as a last resort I drawed that weepon, and he fell woonded to once. Sez I, “Do you have any idee, Josiah Allen, how much it is goin’ to cost you?”
His linement fell. He hadn’t thought on’t. I see him silently draw a boatman into a corner137and interview him, and I hearn no more about a fishin’ picnic.
The very evenin’ after this, Fate and Mr. Pomper gin me a chance to carry out the plan I’d laid out heretofore. Josiah had stepped over to the post office, and Faith had walked over with him at my request, for she had a headache, and I told him to walk down to the wharf with her and see if the cool air wouldn’t do her good. So she had put a black lace scarf over her pretty golden hair and went off with him.
Well, there wuz big doin’s at the Tabernacle that night, and it wuz a off night for music, and I found the parlor nearly deserted when I walked in and sot down in my accustomed easy chair. And no sooner had I sot down seemin’ly than Mr. Pomper’s massive form emerged onto the seen, and he drawed up a chair and sot down by my side.
Agreably to the plans I had laid down in my mind, I did not object to the move. But though a picture of calmness on the outside, inwardly I wuz callin’ almost wildly on my powers of memory, tryin’ to think jest what Malviny had done, one of the immortal Children of the Abbey, when Lord Mortimer approached her with his onlawful suit, and I tried also to138recall what the Mountain Mourner had done in like circumstances, but before I had half done interviewin’ them heroines in sperit my mind wuz recalled into the onwelcome present by Mr. Pomper’s voice in my left ear:
“I asked you, Josiah Allen’s wife,” sez he, “to listen to me, for I felt that you wuz the most proper person for me to state my feelings to. Since you and your party have entered this house,” sez he, “I have had a great conflict goin’ on between my mind and my heart.”
“Ah indeed! have you?” sez I, liftin’ my nose at a angle of from forty to fifty degrees.
“Yes,” sez he, “I have had a great struggle between my heart and my common sense, and in the battle that ensued, Common Sense and Reason has had to retire into the background, and Heart has triumphed.”
“It is a great pity!” sez I, “Common Sense and Reason had much better come out ahead,” and agin I lifted my nose to its extremest limit, and looked swords and prunin’ knives at him.
“That is just what most folks would say, I am aware, but listen to my story before you judge. I must reveal to you the state of my heart and affections!”139
How sure it is that when a kag is tapped the contents will run out no matter whether it is wine or water. At them bold words accompanied by the ardent rollin’ of that lone orb, my well-laid plans all left my mind, nothin’ wuz left but pure principle and devotion and loyalty to my pardner. The full kag emptied its contents over his nefarious purposes, and I bust out almost onbeknown to me and sez:
“It is no use; it is vain, it is worse than vain! it is wicked!”
“What,” sez he, “is she engaged to another?”
“Who?” sez I, turnin’ like lightnin’ and facin’ him.
“Why, Miss Smith, your niece or grand-child who is with you. That beauchious creature!” sez he.
“Faithful Smith!” sez I faintly, “is she the one you are talkin’ about?”
“Yes,” sez he, “your grand-daughter, is she not?”
“My grand-daughter!” sez I in deep contempt, “she is my own cousin on my own side.”
“I thought,” sez he, “from her looks and yours that she might be your grand-child, but that is of no moment,” sez he.
“It is of moment!” sez I, “she is uncle140Leander Smith’s own child, and though she is a few years younger than I be, it has always been said and thought all over Jonesville and Loontown that I hold my age to a remarkable extent. And though I think my eyes of Faith I won’t thank you or anyone else for callin’ her my grand-child!”
“But yet,” sez he, “that’s a tender, sweet relationship. What I want to say to you is in relation to Miss Smith, she looks sad but beauchious. I like her looks. You may have noticed that I have occasionally glanced in the direction of your party.”
“Yes,” sez I, “Heaven knows I have noticed it!”
“Yes,” sez he, “as I have looked upon her face from day to day a conflict has been wagin’ in my heart, and though you may be surprised at the result (for I am very wealthy) I have decided to make her glad and joyous once more.”
He paused, as if for a reply, and I sez, “How did you mean to tackle the job?”
“By makin’ her my wife,” sez he.
The mystery wuz all explained, my dignity and my beloved pardner’s safety all assured. I felt a feeling of infinite relief, and yet I felt like a fool, and I blamed him severely for this141ridiculouscontrary tempsthat had occurred in my mind.
“Of course,” sez he, “it is a great rise for her, I have hearn that she hain’t worth much, as I count wealth, and as we are speakin’ in confidence, I will say that there is a rich widder here who has hopes of me, and mebby I’ve gin her some encouragement, kinder accidental, as you may say, but I ort to know better. Widdowers can’t be too careful; they do great harm, let ’em be as careful as possible. They tromple right and left over wimmen’s hearts do the best they can. But since I have seen Miss Smith and witnessed her sad face I have done a sight of thinkin’. Here the case lays, the widder is strong, she can stand trouble better. The widder is happy, for she has got that which will make any woman happy—health, wealth, and property. And I’ve been turnin’ it over in my mind that mebby Duty is drawin’ me away from the widder and towards the maid. It hain’t because the widder is homely as the old Harry that influences me, no not at all. But the thought of lightenin’ the burden of the sad and down hearted, makin’ the mournful eyes dance with ecstasy, and the skrinkin’ form bound with joy like—like—the142boundin’ row on the hill tops. Now as the case stands marry I will and must. My wife has already been lost for a period of three months lackin’ three weeks. She sweetly passed away murmurin’, ‘I am glad to go.’”
“No wonder at that!” I sez, “no wonder!”
“Yes, she wuz a Christian and she passed sweetly up into the Hevings, thank the Lord!” sez he lookin’ acrost onto Faith’s sweet face, for she had come back and set down acrost the room.
“She is better off, I hain’t a doubt on’t!” sez I fervently.
“I don’t know about that. I did well by her, and she felt as well as myself, that to be my wife wuz a fate not often gin to mortal wimmen.”
“That is so!” sez I fervently, “that is so!”
“Yes she wuz proud and happy durin’ her life. I did everything for her. I killed a chicken durin’ her last sickness onasked, jest to surprise her with soup. She lived proud and happy and died happy.”
“I hain’t a doubt that she died happy.”
“No,” sez he, “and now I must make a choice of her successor. It is a hard job to do,” sez he.143
“No doubt on’t,” sez I, “no doubt on’t!”
“Yes, whatever woman I choose, some must be left, pinin’ on their stems, to speak poetically. I can’t marry every woman, that’s plain to be seen.”
“Yes, thank Heaven! that’s a settled thing,” sez I lookin’ longin’ly at my pardner, who wuz leanin’ aginst the door and conversin’ with the man of the house on his chosen theme, for anon or oftener I hearn the words—Coney Island! Dreamland—Luny Park, etc., etc.
“No, and my choice made, I want it done as speedily as possible, for my late lamented left as a slight token of her love thirteen children of all ages, rangin’ from six months up to twelve years, two pairs of triplets, two ditto of twins, and three singles.
“My wealth lays in land mostly. I never believed in idle luxuries, only comfort, solid comfort, and my wife will have a luxurious home of a story and a half upright, and a linter, groceries and necessaries all provided, and all she will have to do will be the housework and gently train and care for the minds and bodies of the little ones, with some help from the oldest set of triplets, and make my home agin an oasis of joy, a Eden below. Oh! how happy she will be!” sez he, “Nestlin’ down like a wanderin’ dove in the safety and peace and pride of married life. When can I see Miss Smith?” sez he. “Or will you tell her in advance of her good fortune?”
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“‘No,’ sez Mr. Pomper, ‘I want it done as speedily as possible, fer my late lamented left me thirteen children, two pairs of triplets, two ditto of twins, and three singles.’” (See page 143)
“‘No,’ sez Mr. Pomper, ‘I want it done as speedily as possible, fer my late lamented left me thirteen children, two pairs of triplets, two ditto of twins, and three singles.’” (See page 143)
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“No indeed!” sez I, “I make no matches nor break none. You will have to do your own errents.”
CHAPTER NINEIn which Mr. Pomper makes a offer of marriage and Faith has a wonderful experience
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CHAPTER NINE
IN WHICH MR. POMPER MAKES A OFFER OF MARRIAGE AND FAITH HAS A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE
Faith had got up and gone out onto the piazza, and he riz up ponderously and proudly and follered her. And onless I put cotton in my ears, I couldn’t help hearin’ what wuz said. I could hear his proud axent and her low gentle voice in reply.
Sez he, “Miss Smith, of course you hain’t known me long, but I feel that we are well acquainted. I have watched you when you hain’t known it.”
I could imagine just how wonderingly the soft gentle eyes wuz raised to his as he went on:
“Yes, I have kep’ my eye on you, and I will say right out that I like your looks and your ways, and I feel that you are worthy of being promoted to the high honor I am about to heap onto you, by askin’ you to be my wife.”
I heard a little low, skairt ejaculation and a chair pushed back.150
“Your wife! oh no, no, you are mistaken!”
Then his voice in soothin’ axents, “There, set down agin, set down. I knew you’d take it so. I knew it would overcome you, but I say you are worthy on’t, and you needn’t never be afraid I’ll throw it in your face that I am rich and you—and you––”
Then I hearn a swish of a dress float along, quick steps acrost the piazza, a door shet, and anon Mr. Pomper come back to me.
“Jest as I told you, mom, stunted,” sez he, “fairly stunted and broke down by the suddenness of the good news. I’ll give her time to git used to the idee. I won’t say no more at present.”
“No,” sez I dryly, “I wouldn’t if I wuz in your place, I’d go and rub some ile into my head or sweat it, or sunthin’.”
“What for?” sez he in surprise, “why should I bathe my head, or annoint it?”
“Oh nothin’,” sez I, “if you don’t think it needs softenin’ up and illuminatin’.”
Well, I went up to my room and in a few minutes Faith come in, and she went right by me and looked in the glass. She wuz pale and seemed to be kinder tremblin’. She studied her face intently in the lookin’ glass, then sez151she, “What is there in my face, what have I done?” sez she, “How have I looked, that that awful man dare insult me? Oh, I must have looked weak or acted weak, or he wouldn’t have dared to!” and she busted out cryin’.
And I sez soothin’ly, “It hain’t the worst thing that could happen to you. A offer of marriage hain’t like a attack of yeller fever, or cholera, or even the janders, nor,” sez I, “it hain’t like losin’ friends, or a plague of grasshoppers, or––”
And I spoze there hain’t no tellin’ onto what hites of eloquence I might have riz to cheer her up. But all of a sudden she bust out a-laughin’ with the tears standin’ in her big eyes and runnin’ down her cheeks.
“There,” sez I, “you see I’m right, don’t you?”
“Oh you dear, delicious Samantha!” sez she, and she throwed her arms round me and kissed me. I kissed her back and then I went on brushin’ my hair for the night. I hadn’t nothin’ on but my skirts and dressin’ sack, but I didn’t mind her. And she went and sot down by the winder and looked off into the west. Fur off the blue hazy distance lay like another country. The moonlight lay on the waters,152a white sail fur off seemed to float into dreamy mist. She sot there still, and a queer look seemed to come into her face. I felt that she wuz thinkin’ of him, the lost lover of her youth. I felt that she wuz with him and not with me. I thought from the looks of her face she might think he had been insulted by the rude feet that had assayed to walk into the kingdom where he had rained, and rained still, I believe. Sez I to myself, mebby she is walkin’ with him in the past, and mebby in the futer, how could I tell, I felt queer and wadded up my hair with emotions that never before went into them hair pins.
After I had finished I sot down, as my habit is, to read a few verses of Skripter, to sort o’ carry with me in my journey through the unknown realms of Sleep. And as I make a practice of openin’ wherever I happen to—or I don’t really like that word happen—I let the book open where it will, and I wuz jest readin’ these words:
“Ye have seen all that the Lord did before your eyes, the signs and the great miracles.”
When I hearn through my readin’, as one will, the whistle of the night boat comin’ in, and the noise of many steps goin’ along the walk below.153Then I opened the book agin and went on with my readin’:
“The secret things belong unto the Lord our God, but these things that are revealed belong to us.”
When sunthin’ made me look up, Faith wuz bendin’ forward lookin’ out of the winder, though she couldn’t see anyone that wuz passin’ on account of the ruff, and I see a look that I never see before on any face, it wuz all rousted up, illuminated, glad, triumphant, sad, glowin’, blessed, and everything else.
And I said, “What is it, Faith, what do you see?”
Sez she, “I don’t know.”
And I said then, “What do you think it is?”
And she sez, “Cousin Samantha, do you think that those who are far away ever return to the hearts that are mourning for them? Is there any way that souls can meet while the bodies are far apart?”
“Why yes,” sez I, “I have always thought so, I have always thought they had some way of tellin’ us they wuz nigh without usin’ language we know anything about. Many is the time I’ve expected visitors that I hadn’t seen or hearn from in some time, and sure enough154they’d come jest as I seemed to think they would. And letters! how many a time all of a sudden I would most know I wuz goin’ to git a letter from somebody, and sure enough when Josiah would go to the post office he’d bring it back with him. How them folks hundreds of milds away managed to let me know they wuz thinkin’ of me on paper, or how I knew these friends wuz approachin’ onbeknown to me, I don’t know nor Josiah don’t.
“There wuzn’t no U. S. stamp on these messages, nor earthly hands didn’t bring the tidin’s of these visitors. No the post-masters and messengers on that mysterious Route keep perfect silence as to where they be, or who they be. But they are at work all the same, though who they work for, or how they work, how can we tell? The strange rays of light that flash through the darkness of dense bodies makin’ visible what has been onseen since the creation, hasn’t discovered these highways yet, mebby they will. The strange new air route messages that travel acrost the stormy Atlantic may run right acrost these mysterious highways,” and for a minute my mind follered off on them strange, strange tracks, Marconi roads lighted by X-rays and leadin’ who knows where.155
When my mind kinder come back agin to what we wuz talkin’ about I resoomed, “And if this happens to us as it duz time and agin in regard to friends and well wishers, how much more it is likely to be true of those we love and who love us. This strange knowledge and fore-warnin’ is not material, it is independent of the body or any workin’s of the mind that we understand, and how do we know how fur reachin’ and universal that law is if our eyes wuz not held so we could discern it? If these fine senses wuz not so unused, and as you may say bed-rid by disuse, how do we know how truly near to us may be those who in our blindness we say are fur away, how do we know but their spiritual self, their real self, may be nearer to us than our neighbors in the flesh, and those who sit by our firesides, though our mortal eyes may not see them, and oceans and seas may divide us and mebby the Deepest River. What do we know about the onseen roads that lay all about us, leadin’ from Loontown and Jonesville and from one continent to the other, and mebby up through the clear fields of Light? What do we know about them still mysterious streets windin’ mebby from our home and hearts to Thomas Jefferson’s, and so on, mebby156from star to star? And what do we know of the travelers that go up and down on ’em and outward and homeward? These roads don’t need any surveyor to lay ’em out, or path-master to clear ’em of snow and dirt, no weeds grow up by the wayside, nor dirt lays in the track.
“No, clear and broad and unobstructed the luminous pathways may lay all round us onknown to us. Noiseless chariots, swifter than our imaginations can grasp now, may cleave these star routes, connecting one land to another, and mebby jinin’ immense distances to our planet, as easy as we can hitch up and go to Jonesville.
“We don’t see these noiseless conveyances, lighter and swifter than thought, nor the forms they waft to us from afar. We can’t hear their voices, but our soul listens! We feel their nearness! For a blessed moment we are thrilled with the bliss of their presence, their full comprehension of pity and love.
“‘Dear ones!’ our heart cries, ‘where are you? Come nearer! Let our eyes behold you!’ Our soul peers longin’ly through the mist of earthly blindness, looking! listening!’”
I wuz carried some distance away from myself157by my deep eppisodin’ when a sigh from Faith brung me down and landed me on terry firmy agin and I sez,
“Why do you ask this question to-night, dear?”
“Because,” sez she in a tremblin’ voice, “I feel that someone long gone and lost is near me to-night, I feel the presence nearer than you are now,” sez she, puttin’ her little white tremblin’ hand on my own.
“I am not mistaken,” sez she with streaming eyes, “I know that in whatever world or distant way that soul may be dwellin’, it is with me to-night. It frightens me!” sez she, white as a cloth, “And it fills me with the blessedness of Heaven!” And she smiled with her big luminous eyes. She wuz tremblin’ like a popple leaf.
“Well, well,” sez I, “shet up the winder, and take a little catnip tea. I’ll steep it on my alcohol lamp, and go to bed. You’ve been excited too much to-night.” I knew, though she didn’t say so, that the very idee of catnip wuz repugnant and oncongenial to her at that time, but I felt that I had reason and common sense on my side. Faithful hain’t over strong, and had been through considerable excitement,158besides I hearn the distant step of my pardner, and his voice parleyin’ with the hall boy for sunthin’.
And though the subject broached by Faith, and believed in by me, wuz as interestin’ to me as a subject could be, yet I felt then, and feel now, that though transcendentalism may be more agreable talkin’ matter, and may be indulged in at times, yet such commonplace subjects as herb drink has to be brung forwards and sort o’ hung onto by our minds, in order to anchor ’em as it were to the land of Megumness, where I would fain tarry myself and have my near and dearest dwell. But Faith said she didn’t want any catnip, and jest before Josiah come in she kissed me good night, and I said, “Good night, dear, and ‘God be with you till we meet again.’”
I knew she thought everything of that him, and thought mebby it would sort o’ quiet her some since she rejected the paneky I spoke of. But her face at the very last looked white and riz up and luminous, and her eyes shone. I felt queer.
The next day wuz Sunday and Josiah and I went to the Tabernacle to meetin’. Faith havin’ a headache didn’t go. But before I go any159furder I will back up the boat and moor it to the shore, while I tell you what the result wuz so fur as Mr. Pomper wuz concerned. At the breakfast table next mornin’ he cast languishin’ glances at Faith, and then looked round the room proudly as much as to say:
“Gentlemen and ladies, behold my choice, and I hain’t sorry I chose her out of the throng of waitin’ wimmen.”
But some time durin’ that day he found out his mistake. I don’t know exactly how Faith managed to pierce the rhinocerous hide of his self-conceit with the truth, but she did somehow let him know that his attentions wuz futile, futiler than he ever mistrusted his attentions could be.
But he wuzn’t danted and down-casted more’n several minutes, I guess, for anon I see him walkin’ with a woman almost as ponderous as he wuz, and as she wuz all janglin’ with black jet and as humbly as humbly could be, I mistrusted that he had gone back to his allegiance to the widder, and I think he looked happier than I had ever seen him. He looked as if he wuz rejoiced that his temporary thraldom to sentiment wuz over, and common sense and practical gain wuz in the ascendancy agin.160And though it hain’t much matter, I will say I read his marriage in the paper the next week:
“Amaziah Pomper to Euphrasia, relict of Elnathan Fatt.”
But I d’no as Faith knew anything about it, for she didn’t stay with us only a few days longer, she went on to visit her aunt Petrie and so on to the Ohio, makin’ a solemn promise to me to stop and visit us on her way home the last of September. Well, I will now onhitch the boat and row back, and then let it sail on down the stream of history. As I said, the next day after that singular experience of Faith’s wuz Sunday, and my pardner and I went to the Tabernacle. We wuz told that there wuz to be oncommon exercises that day owin’ to the visit of a great Evangelist from the West. Lots of folks had come on the night boats so as to be there to hear him. For if the angel Gabriel wanted to preach there to lost sinners, he couldn’t land there on Sunday unless he swum or come cross lots (that is, unless he flowed down). The folks on that island are too good to let anyone come there to meetin’ unless they come sarahuptishously. I asked a trustee once why it wuz wicked for folks to ride there to meetin’.161
And he said, “A merciful man is merciful to his beast.”
Sez I, “A steamer hain’t a beast, and if it wuz, it wouldn’t tucker it out much to come over from the bay or Clayton.” And he said the sailors would have to toil to git ’em there.
“So the driver and the horses have to toil to git sinners to meetin’ on the main land,” sez I. And he said, “The steamers would make noise and confusion, and disturb the sweet Sabbath calm.” I felt there wuz some truth in this, though it wouldn’t make nigh so much noise as the thousands of church bells clangin’ out church time in cities and villages.
Sez he, “If we allowed boats to land here we should be overrun with excursionists who don’t care for Sunday as a day of holy quiet and rest, and our peaceful Sabbath would be turned into a carnival of pleasure seekers, flirtations, giggles, brown paper parcels, egg shells, cigar smoke and sandwiches.”
And I sez, “Like as not that is so.” And I felt that mebby he wuz in the right on’t. But some don’t like it and feel that they’d ort to take the resk.
CHAPTER TENWe Hear a Great Temperance Sermon, but Josiah Still Hankers for Coney Island
165
CHAPTER TEN
WE HEAR A GREAT TEMPERANCE SERMON, BUT JOSIAH STILL HANKERS FOR CONEY ISLAND
Ever since I had been to the Thousand Island Park, my mind had roamed onto that idee of the Tabernacle with a sort of or. It is a big impressive word and one calculated to impress a stranger and sojourner. And so when we made up our minds to attend to it I almost instinctively put on my best alpacky dress (London brown) and I also run a new ribbin into my braize veil and tied it round my bunnet so it would hang in graceful folds adown the left side of my frame, I also put on my black mitts and my mantilly with tabs; of course I carried my faithful umbrell.
I looked well. Faith had a bad headache, I guess the job of gittin’ that information into Mr. Pomper’s head had tuckered her out, so I and my pardner sot off alone. All the way there my mind wuz real riz up thinkin’ I wuz166goin’ to see sunthin’ very grand lookin’ and scriptural, and I said over and over to myself a number of times with deep respect and or, “Tabernacle! Tabernacle!”
Yes, I felt some as if I wuz the Queen of Sheba and Josiah wuz Solomon, though I might have knowed, my pardner lacked the first ingregient in Solomon’s nater, wisdom. And I probable wuzn’t so dressy as Miss Sheba, ’tennyrate I hadn’t no crown or septer, a brown straw bunnet and umbrell meetin’ my wants better, but not nigh so dashy lookin’. But my feelin’s all come from the name of the place we wuz bound for, and the patriarchical, Biblical past my mind wuz rovin’ round in. Yes, my mind wuz rousted up and runnin’ on the trimmin’s of the Ark and Temple. I thought like as not I should see purple curtains hung on shinin’ poles, jest so many cubits long and high, and gorgeous carpets to walk on and ornaments and fringes and tossels.
I would not ask questions, but I wuz prepared for splendid lookin’ things and lots of ’em. Well, if you’ll believe me there wuzn’t a thing there that I expected to see, not a ornament or curtain or tossel, and nothin’ but jest common ground to walk on like our suller bottom or167dooryard. And long benches all through it as fur as the eye could reach almost.
The platform wuz big as most meetin’ housen, but bare and plain, and there wuz what seemed to be sheets hung up round the hull concern, though rolled up so we could see out all round us. There wuz only one way it come up to my idees, and that wuz the cubits. I should think it wuz jest about as many cubits long and broad as anything ever wuz or ever will be. They say it will hold five thousand folks, and I should judge they wuz all there that mornin’, and had brung their children and relations on both sides.
They wuz havin’ a song service when we went in, and to hear five thousand voices or so fillin’ that Tabernacle full of high and inspirin’ melody, wuz indeed a treat. It filled it so full that it oozed out of the sheets on all sides and soared up through the encirclin’ green trees, up, up towards the blue sky, and no knowin’ how much furder it did go upwards, clear up to Heaven like as not, for that place we have always been told is the home of music. It wuz sunthin’ to remember as long as you lived to hear that great flood of melody flow out and swash and sway round us, bearin’ us some distance away from ourselves.168
My Josiah tuned up and sung jest as loud as any of ’em, but his singin’ would have sounded better if he had sung the tune the rest did. He sung the tune he had always been used to singin’ hims in, he is dretful sot on it, and don’t like to change. But as he seemed to enjoy it so much, and the great rush of melody wuz so powerful his voice wuz onnoticed. The him wuz, “How firm a foundation ye saints of the Lord.”
Mr. Pomper wuz jest ahead on us, and thinkin’ he would see better, I spoze had got up on the bench, and jest as he shouted out with the rest, “How firm a foundation,” the bench broke and down he come, but in the big volume of sound, his yell of fright wuzn’t heard no more than the note of a mosquito in a cyclone.
In the intervals of silence Josiah sot and made comments to me on the surroundin’ seen, that alas made me know his mind wuzn’t riz up on such hites as mine wuz. He commented on the looks of the men around him, and cast the idee in my face that there wuzn’t any on ’em so good lookin’ as he wuz, or nigh so distinguished in their means. I felt sorry to think he wuz so blinded, though of course he looks good to me. And he talked about the wimmen and advanced the idee that they well might take pattern by his pardner in their looks and deportment. Josiah after all is a man of good sense.