So much by way of general remarks regarding the subject in hand. It is more the especial purpose of what follows, however, to treat of the matter of marriage in particular,to say something definite to young husbands and wives that shall be of real benefit to them, not only by way of starting them out right in the new and untried way upon which they have entered, but to help them to make that way a realm of perpetual and ever increasing joy to both parties concerned, throughout its entire course, their whole lives long.
Be it said, then, first, that it is the duty of every bride and groom, before they engage in sexual commerce with each other, to acquaint themselves thoroughly with the anatomy and physiology of the sex organs of human beings, both male and female, and to make the acquirement of such knowledge as dispassionate and matter-of-fact an affair as though they were studying the nature, construction and functions of the stomach, or the digestive processes entire, or the nature and use of any of the other bodily organs. "Clear and clean am I within and without; clear and clean is every scrap and part of me, and no part shall be held more sacred or preferredabove another. For divine am I, and all I am, or contain."
Now the normal young man or woman would do just this, would pursue a study of sex in this way, were it not for the fact that they have been taught, time out of mind, that to do this is immodest, not to say indecent or positively wicked. They have longed to be possessed of such knowledge, all their lives; in most cases more than any other form of wisdom that it was possible for them to make their own. But its acquirement has been placed beyond their possible reach, and it is only by the most clandestine and often nasty means that they have attained what little they know. But the quotation made in the last paragraph, sounds the key note of what isrightin this matter, and the first effort made by the reader of these pages should be to establish in himself or herself thecondition of mind which these lines embody.
And it had better be said, right here, that for most young people this will be found to be noeasything to do. Nor should the reader feel ashamed or chagrined, or at odds with himself or herself if he or she finds such condition of affairs existing in his or her case. For it is nothing for which they are to blame. It is a misfortune and not a fault. It is only the result of inherited and inculcated (the word inculcated meanskicked in) ideas to which all "well bred" youths have been subjected for centuries; the idea being that the closer they were kept in the realm of innocence, which is only another name forignorance, the better "bred" they are. And to pry one's self loose, to break or tear one's self away from such a mental view and condition as heredity and such years of rigorous restraint have developed, is no small task. Indeed, it often takes months, and sometimes years, wholly to rid one's self of these deep seated and powerful, wrong views and prejudices.
Remember this: thatto the pure all things are pure.But do not make the mistake of thinking that this much abused sentence means that purity meansemptiness! It does no such thing. On the contrary, it meansfullness, toperfection. It means that one should be possessed of the right kind of stuff, and that the stuff should be of supreme quality. So, in studying to obtain a knowledge of sex organs and sex functions, in the human family, the reader should not try to divest himself or herself of all sex-passion and desire; but, on the contrary, to make these of a sort of which he or she can beproud, rather thanashamedof, rejoice in, rather than suffer from.
So, then, let the reader of these lines, first, get a correctmental attitudetoward what is about to be said. Banish all prurient curiosity, put aside all thought of shame or shock, (these two will be hardest for young women to overcome, because of their training in false modesty and prudishness) and endeavor to approach the subject in a reverent, open-eyed, conscientious spirit, as one who wishes, above everything else, to know the honest truth in these most essential matters that pertain to human life.Get into this frame of mind, andkeep in it, and what is here written will be read with both pleasure and profit.
Once more, for we must make haste slowly in these delicate affairs, if the reader should find himself or herself unduly excited, or perhaps shocked, while reading some parts of what is here written, so that the heart beats too fast, or the hand trembles, it may be well to suspend the reading for a time, divert the mind into other channels for a while, and resume the reading after one has regained poise and mastery of one's self. That is, "keep your head" while you read these lessons, and you will be all right.
And now, having given these cautionary directions, the way is clear for the making of definite statements and the giving of positive instruction.
Here, then, is a brief description of the sex organs in man and woman. At first, only the names of the parts will be given, with such slight comments and explanations as are necessary for making this part of the subject clear. A detailed setting forth of the functions and proper exercise of these organs will be given later.
The sex organs in a male human being consists, broadly speaking, of the penis and the testicles. All these are located at the base of the abdomen, between the thighs and on the forward part of the body. The penis is a fleshy, muscular organ, filled with most sensitive nerves, and blood vessels that are capable of extension to a much greater degree than any of their similars in other parts of the body. In a quiescent, or unexcited condition, in the average man, this organ is from three to four inches long and about an inch or more in diameter. It hangs limp and pendent in this state, retired and in evidence not at all. In its excited, or tumescent condition(the word tumescent means swelled, and is the technical word for describing the erect condition of the penis) it becomes enlarged and rigid, its size in this state being, on an average, six or seven inches long, and from an inch-and-a-half to two inches in diameter. It is almost perfectly cylindrical, slightly thicker at the base than at its forward part.
The testicles are two kidney shaped glands, not far from the size of a large hickory nut, and are contained in a sort of sack, or pocket, called the scrotum, which is made for their comfortable and safe carrying. The scrotum hangs directly between the thighs, at the base of the penis, and in it are the testicles, suspended by vital cords that are suspended from the body above. The left testicle hangs a little higher in the sack than the right, so that, in case the thighs are crowded together, one testicle will slip over the other, and so the danger of crushing them will be avoided. This is one of the many ways which the Maker of the human body has devised to insure the proper preservation of the vital organs from harm, a fact which should inspire all human beings with profound reverence for this most wonderful of all life forms, the beautiful human body, the "temple of the Holy Spirit."
The part of the body upon which the sex organs, male and female, are located is known as the pubic region. It is covered with hair, which, in both sexes, extends well up the lower belly. This is known as pubic hair, and in general corresponds in quality and quantity to the hair upon the individual head,being coarse or fine, soft or bristly, to match, the head covering, in each case. This hair is usually more or less curly, and forms a covering an inch or more in depth over the whole pubic region, extending back between the thighs slightly beyond the rectum. In occasional cases this hair is straight and silky, and sometimes grows to great length, instances being known, in some women, where it has extended to the knees. A well-grown and abundant supply of fine pubic hair is a possession highly prized by women, of which they are justly proud, though few of them would acknowledge the fact, even to themselves. None the less it is a fact.
The female sex organs, speaking generally also, are as follows: The vulva, or outward portion of the parts; the vaginal passage; the uterus, or womb, and the ovaries. All but the first named lie within the body of the woman. The vulva is made up of several parts which will be named and described later. The vaginal passage is a tube, or canal leading from the vulva to the womb. In length and diameter it corresponds almost exactly with that of the penis, being six or seven inches in depth, and capable of a lateral extension which will readily admit the entrance of the male organ when the two are brought together. The vaginal passage opens into, and terminates in the uterine, or womb cavity.
The womb is a pear shaped sack which is suspended in the womb cavity by cords and muscles from above. It hangs, neck downwards, and is, in its unimpregnated condition, about two and a halfinches in diameter at its upper, or widest part, tapering to a thin neck at its lower end. It is hard and muscular in its quiescent state, filled with delicate and most sensitive nerves and capacious blood vessels. At its lower, or neck end, it opens directly into the vaginal passage.
The ovaries are two in number, and are situated on each side of, and above the womb, in the region of the upper groins. They are small, fan shaped glands, and are connected with the uterus by small ducts which are known as the fallopian tubes.
As already stated, the exterior parts of the body, in which the female sex organs are located, are covered with hair for their adornment and protection.
Such in brief, are the male and female sex organs in human beings. A further description of them and their functions and proper use we are now ready to consider.
It hardly need be stated here, for it is a matter of common knowledge, that theprimarypurpose of sex in the human family is the reproduction of the race. In this respect, considered merely on its material, or animal side, mankind differs little from all other forms of animate life. As Whitman says, we see "everywhere sex, everywhere the urge of procreation." The flowers are possessed of this quality, and with them all vegetable forms. In the animal kingdom the same is true. Always "male and female" is everything created.
And the chief facts in reproduction are practically the same wherever the phenomena occur. Here, as everywhere else in the world, when a new life-form appears, it is always the result of the union oftwoforces, elements, germs or whatsoever. These two elements differ in nature and in function, and each is incomplete and worthless by itself. It is only by the combining of the two that any new result is obtained. It is this fact that has led to the most suggestive and beautiful phrase "The duality of all unity in nature."
Many centuries ago an old Latin philosopher wrote the now celebrated phrase,Omne ex ovo, which,translated, meanseverything is from an egg. This is practically true of all life-forms. Their beginning is always from an ovum, or egg. In this respect, the reproduction of human beings is the same as that of any other life-form.
Now in this process of producing a new life-form, the female is always the source of the egg, out of which the new creation is to come. This egg, however, is infertile of itself, and must be given life to, by mingling with its germ, an element which only the male can produce and supply. This element is technically known as a sperm, or a spermatozoa. Its function is to fertilize the dormant germ in the egg produced by the female, and thus to start a new and independent life-form. This life-form, thus started, grows according to the laws of its becoming more and more, until, at the expiration of a fixed period, which varies greatly in different animals, it becomes a complete young individual, of the nature and kind of its parents. The fertilization of the ovum in the female is called conception; its growing state is called gestation, and its birth, on becoming a separate being, is called parturition. In its growing condition, and before its birth, the new young life form is known as the foetus.
Now it is the fertilization of the ovum in the female (and from now on, it is only of the male and female in the human family that mention will be made) by the male, in the woman, by the man, that is of supreme interest and importance to both the parties concerned in producing this result. How thisis brought about is substantially as follows:
As already stated, the infertile ovum, or egg, is produced by the woman. Such production begins at what is known as the age of puberty, or when the hair begins to grow upon the pubic parts of the female body. The time of the appearance of this phenomenon in feminine life varies from the age of nine or ten years to fifteen or sixteen. The average, for most girls, is fourteen years of age. At this time the formation of ova, or eggs, in the female body begins, and it continues, in most women, at regular intervals of once in twenty-eight days, except during pregnancy and lactation, for a period of about thirty years. During all this time, under favorable conditions, it is possible for the ovum produced by the woman to become fertilized, if it can meet the sperm of the male.
In a general way, this meeting of the infertile ovum of the woman with the sperm of the man can be brought about, as follows:
The ova are produced by the ovaries (the word ovaries means egg producers) where they slowly develop from cells which originate in these glands. When they have reached maturity, or are ready for fertilization, they pass out of the ovaries and down into the womb, by way of the fallopian tubes. As already stated, such passage of the ova from the ovaries into the womb occurs every twenty-eight days, and it is accomplished by a more or less copious flow of blood, a sort of hemorrhage, which carries the ova down through the fallopian tubes,and deposits them in the womb. This blood, after performing its mission of carrying the ova down into the womb, escapes from the body through the vaginal passage and is cared for by the wearing of a bandage between the thighs. This flow of blood continues for about five days, and is known as a menstrual flow; and this time in a woman's life is known as the menstrual period. It is so named because of the regularity of its recurrence, the wordmensameaning amonth. In common parlance, these periods are often spoke of as the "monthlies."
After the ovum has reached the womb it remains there for a period of about ten days, after which, if it is not fertilized during that time, it passes out of the womb into the vaginal passage, and so out of the body. But if, at any time after it is ripe for fertilization, that is, from the time it begins its journey from the ovaries to the womb, and while it is in the womb, the ovum is met by the male sperm, it isliableto become fertilized—conception is possible. These are facts of theutmost importance, to be thoroughly understood and kept well in mind by all married people who would live happily together, as will be hereafter shown.
So much regarding the female part of the meeting of the ovum and the sperm. The male part of this mutual act is as follows:
The sperm, or spermatozoa, originate in the testicles. Each sperm is an individual entity andseveral thousandsof them are produced and in readiness for use,at each meetingof the male and femalegenerative organs; and ifany oneof the countless number comes in contact with the unfertilized ovum in the womb, conception isliableto result.
These sperms are so small that they are not visible to the naked eye, but they are readily seen by the use of a microscope. In shape they much resemble tad-poles in their earliest stages.
At the base of the penis, well up in the man's body, there is a large gland which surrounds the penis like a thick ring, and which is called the prostate gland. It secretes a mucous fluid which looks much like, and is about the consistency of the white of an egg. Close to this gland, and almost a part of it, is a sack, or pocket, into which the mucous secretion from the prostate gland is poured, and where it is kept, ready for use, in performing its part of the germinal act.
Now it is the business of this mucous fluid, which comes from the prostate gland, to form a "carrying medium" for the spermatozoa which originate in the testicles. There are small ducts leading from the testicles into the pocket which contains the prostate fluid. These are known as the seminal ducts, and through them the spermatozoa pass from the testicles into the prostate pocket. Here they mingle with the prostate fluid, in which they can move about freely, and by means of which they can be carried wherever this fluid goes. The combination of prostate fluid and spermatozoa is called "semen."
Seen under a microscope, a single drop of semen reveals a multitude of spermatozoa swimming aboutin the prostate-carrying medium. It is in this form that the vitalizing male element meets the female infertile ovum. This mass of live and moving germs is poured all around and about the region in which the ovum lies waiting to be fertilized, and every one of them seems to be "rushing about like mad" to find what it is sent to do, namely, to meet and fertilize the ovum. The manner of depositing the semen where it can come in contact with the ovum is as follows:
In order that this mingling of the male and female sources of life may be possible, it is necessary that there be a union of the male and the female generative organs. For such meeting, the penis is filled with blood, all its blood vessels being distended to their utmost capacity, till the organ becomes stout and hard, and several times its dormant size, as has been already told. In this condition it is able to penetrate, to its utmost depths, the vaginal passage of the female, which is of a nature to perfectly contain the male organ in this enlarged and rigid condition. Under such conditions, the penis is inserted into the widened and distended vaginal passage. Once together, a mutual back and forth, or partly in and out movement, of the organs is begun and carried on by the man and woman, which action further enlarges the parts and raises them to a still higher degree of tension and excitement. It is supposed by some that this frictional movement of the parts develops an electrical current, which increases in tension as the act is continued; and that it is themission of the pubic hair, which is a non-conductor, to confine these currents to the parts in contact.
Now there are two other glands in these organs; one in the male and one in the female, which performs a most wonderful function in this part of the sexual act. These are the "glans penis" in the male and the "clitoris" in the female. The first is located at the apex of the male organ, and the other at the upper-middle and exterior part of the vulva. These glands are covered with a most delicate cuticle, and are filled with highly sensitive nerves. As the act progresses, these glands become more and more sensitized, and nervously surcharged, until, as a climax, they finally cause a sort of nervous explosion of the organs involved. This climax is called an "orgasm" in scientific language. Among most men and women it is spoken of as "spending."
On the part of the man, this orgasm causes the semen, which till this instant has remained in the prostate pocket, to be suddenly driven out of this place of deposit, and thrown in jets, and with spasmodic force, through the entire length of the penis, and, as it were, shot into the vaginal passage and the uterine cavity, till the whole region is literally deluged with the life-giving fluid. At the same time, the mouth of the womb opens wide; and into it pours, or rushes, this "father stuff," entirely surrounding and flooding the ovum, if it be in the womb. This is the climax of the sexual act, which is called "coitus," a word which means, going together.
With the myriads of spermatozoa swarmingabout it, if the vital part of the ovum comes in contact with some one of them, any one of which, brought into such contact, will fertilize it, conception results. The woman is then pregnant, and the period of gestation is begun.
This is a brief description of the act of coitus and of the means by which pregnancy takes place. It is, however, only a small part of the story of the sex relations of husbands and wives; and, be it said, averysmall part of that, as will now be shown.
As has already been said, this use of the sex organs, merely to produce progeny, and so insure a continuance of the race, is a quality that mankind shares with all the rest of the animal kingdom. In all essentials, so far as the material parts of the act are concerned, the beginnings of the new life in the human family differ not a whit from that of any other mammals. In each case the ovum is produced by the ovaries of the female, passes into the womb, is there met by the semen from the male, fertilized by the spermatozoa, and so the foetus gets its start. This is the universal means by which the beginnings of all animal reproductive life takes place.
But there is another phase in the sex life of human beings, which isentirely differentfrom that of all other animals, and which must therefore be considered beyond all that needs to be said regarding the act of coitus for reproductive purposes only. This we are now ready to consider and study.
Now in all animals, except human beings, the act of coitus is only permitted by the female, (it wouldseem is onlypossiblefor her) when the ovum is present in the womb and ready to be fertilized.At all other times, all female animals, except woman, are practically sexless. Their sexual organs are dormant, andnothing can arouse themto activity. Not only do they fail to show any desire for coitus, but if an attempt should be made to force it upon them,they would resist itto the utmost of their strength.
But when the ovum is present in the womb, these same female animals are beside themselves with desire for coitus. They are then spoken of as "in heat." And until they are satisfied, by meeting the male and procuring from him the vitalizing fluid which will fertilize their infertile ovum; or, failing in this, until the ovum passes away from them, out of the womb, they know no rest. At such times they will run all risks, incur all sorts of danger, do every possible thing to secure pregnancy. The thousand-and-one ways which female animals use to make known to their male mates their sexual desire and needs, when in heat, is a most interesting and wonderful story, a record made up of facts which would be well worth any student's knowing. But as all such knowledge can readily be procured from books which are within the reach of all, there is no need of noting the data here.
But now,in woman, all these things are different!As a matter of fact, the presence of the ovum in the womb of a normally made womanmakes little, and, in many cases, no difference whateveras regards her status concerning the act of coitus! That is,women are never "in heat," in the same sense in which other female animals are. To be sure, in some cases, though they are rare, some women are conscious of a greater desire for coitus just after the ceasing of the menstrual flow; that is, when the ovum is in the womb. But such cases are so infrequent that they may well be counted atavistic, that is, of the nature of a tendency to return to a previous merely animal condition. For the most part, it is true of all normal women that the presence of the ovum in the womb makes little difference, one way or another, in regard to their desire for, or aversion to, the act of coitus.
Now the fact of this remarkable difference in the sex-status of women and the same quality in all other female animals leads us to a great number of interesting, not to say startling, conclusions, some of which are as follows:
In the first place, the phenomenon clearly establishes the fact that sex in the female human beingdiffers, pronouncedly, from that of all other female life. For, whereas, among all females except woman, coitus isimpossible, except at certain times and seasons, among women the act can not only be permitted, but is as much possible ordesiredat one time as any other, regardless of the presence or absence of the ovum in the womb. That is (and this point should be noted well by the reader) there is apossibility, on the part of the female humanity, for coitus,under conditions that do not at all obtain in any other female animal life.
This is a conclusion which is of such far-reaching importance that its limits are but dimly recognized, even in the clear thinking of most married people. The fact of such difference is known to them, and their practices in living conform to the conditions; but what it all means, they are entirely ignorant of,and they never stop to think about it.
And yet,right here is the very center and core of the real success or failure of married life! Around this fact are grouped all the troubles that come to husbands and wives. About it are gathered all the joys and unspeakable delights of the happily married—the only truly married. It is these items which make a knowledge of the real conditions which exist, regarding this part of married life, of such supreme importance. If these conditions could be rightly understood, and the actions of husbands and wives could be brought to conform to the laws which obtain under them,the divorce courts would go out of business, their occupation, like Othello's, would be "gone indeed."
The first conclusion, then, one that is forced upon the thoughtful mind by the fact of this difference in the sex possibilities of women and other female animals, is, as already stated, but which is here repeated for emphasis, that coituscanbe engaged inby womenwhenpregnancyisnotits purpose, on her part; and thatthis never occurs in any other form of female life!
In view of this fact, is it too much to raise the question whether or not sex in woman is designed tofulfill any other purpose than that of the reproduction of the race? True it is, that theonlyfunction of sex in all other females is merely that of producing offspring—of perpetuating its kind. Under no circumstances does iteverserveanyother end, fulfill any other design.There is no possibility of its doing so!
But one can help wondering if it is not true that, with the existence of thepossibilityof engaging in coitusat will, rather than at the bidding ofinstinctalone, there has also come anewandaddedfunction for the sex-natures that are capable of engaging in such before-unknown experiences? To a fair-minded person, such conclusion seems not only logical, but irresistible! That is in view of this conclusion, it naturally follows that sex in the human family ispositively designed to fulfill a function that is entirely unknown to all other forms of animal life. And from this, it is but a step to the establishment of the fact thatsex exercise in the human family serves a purpose other than that of reproduction!
Now, this fact established, a whole world of new issues arises and demands settlement. Among these, comes the supreme question:What is the nature of this new experience that has been conferred upon human beings, over and above what is vouchsafed to any other form of animal life? What purpose can it serve? How can it be properly exercised? What is right and what is wrong under these new possibilities? These are some of the issues thatforcethemselves upon all thoughtful people,those who wish todo right under any and all circumstances in which they are placed.
Of course, here as elsewhere, the unthinking, the happy-go-lucky and the "don't-give-a-damn," can blunder along in almost any-old-way. But they can, and will, reap only the reward which always follows blundering and ignorance. In these days of scientific clear-thinking, we have come to understand thatsalvation from sin comes by the way of positive knowledge and not at the hands of either ignorance or innocence! If husbands and wives ever attain to the highest conditions of married life, it can only be after theyknow and practice, what is right in all their sex relations, both for reproductive purposes and in all other respects! Note that well!
As things are now, especially in all civilized countries, and particularly among Christian people, thissecondaryfunction of sex in the human family, while blindly recognized as a fact, is none the less abused, to a most shameful degree. For ages, the whole situation has been left in a condition of most deplorable, not to say damnable, ignorance; and no honest endeavor has been made to find out and act up to the truth in the premises. Husbands and wives have engaged in coitusad libitum, utterly regardless of whether it was right or wrong for them to do so! They have taken it for granted thatmarriageconferred on them therightto have sexual intercourse whenever they chose, (especially when the man chose,) and they have acted accordingly. This is especially true of men, and the practice has beencarried to such length that the right of a man to engage in coitus with his wifehas been established by law, and the wife who refuses to yield this "right" to her husband can be divorced by him, if she persists in such way of living! It is such a fact as this which caused Mr. Bernard Shaw to write: "Marriage is the most licentious institution in all the world." And he might rightfully have added "it is also the most brutal," though it is an insult to the brute to say it that way, for brutes are never guilty ofcoitus under compulsion. But a husband can force his wife to submit to his sexual embraces, and she has no legal right to say him nay!This doesn't seem quite right, does it?
Now there are several different ways of viewing this new and added sexual possibility in the human family, namely, the act of coitus for other than reproductive purposes. The Catholic church hasalwayscounted it as a sin. Popes have issued edicts regarding it, and conclaves of Bishops have discussed it and passed resolutions regarding it. There has always been a difference of opinion upon the subject amongst these dignitaries and authorities, but they all agree in one respect, namely, that it is asin. The only point of difference has been as to the extent or enormity of the sin! By some it has been reckoned as a "deadly sin," punishable by eternal hell fire, if not duly absolved before death; by others it has been held to be only a "venial sin," one that must always be confessed to the priest when coitus is engaged in, and which can be pardoned by the practiceof due penance.But, always, it was a sin!
The Protestant church has never issued edicts regarding this matter, but, for the most part, it has tacitly held to the Catholic teaching intheory, while universallypracticingthe reverse, in actual married life. Protestants have looked upon it as a necessity, but have taught that it wasregrettablethat such was the case. They have held, with Paul, that, "it is better to marry than to burn." And most of them have chosen the marriage horn of the dilemma.
Among some European nations, attempts have been made to make it impossible for husbands and wives to cohabit except for reproductive purposes. In one of these nations, padlocks were used for preventing the act. A slit was made through the foreskin of the penis, and through this slit the ring of a padlock was passed, much as an ear-ring is passed through the lobe of a lady's ear. The padlock was made so large that it could not be introduced into the vaginal passage, and so coitus was impossible when it was worn. It could only be removed by the magistrate into whose hands the regulation of this part of the citizens' life was given. Specimens of these padlocks are still to be seen in European museums.
Now the terribly immoral thing in all this way of living has always been the fact that itcompelledpeople to continuallyviolate their consciences, bypretendingtobelieveone thing and constantlypracticingthe reverse of their proclaimed belief. That is, it lured them intoliving a continual lie, and suchcan never be for the good of the soul! It goes without saying that the sooner this abominable way of living can be ended, the better it will be for all parties concerned—the individuals who are the victims of such falsehood, and the communities of which they form a part.
From all this it follows that the first thing every new husband and wifeoughtto do is tosettle clearly in their own minds the issue as to whether it is right or wrong for them to engage in coitus for any other than procreative purposes. Having settled this point, one way or the other, thenlet them conscientiously act accordingly. For only so can they live righteous lives!
In settling this point, so far as available authorities for the young people to study and consider are concerned, these are allagainstcoitus except for begetting of off-spring. All the "purity" writers and Purity Societies are ranged together on the negative side. Likewise are all the books of "advice to young wives and husbands," especially those addressed to youngwives.
Now all these "authorities" base their whole argument upon the purelyanimalfacts in the premises. Probably a certain Dr. C. is more largely read for information on these matters than any other author, especially among young women. He has written a large, and from the view-point he takes, a very plausible volume; and it is very extensively advertised, especially in papers which young women read. The result is that it has come to be almost a standardauthority in these affairs.
Dr. C.'s argument is, baldly, as follows:—(a) Among animals, the universal practice is a single act of coitus for each begetting of off-spring, (b) Human beings are animals, (c) Therefore, human beings should only engage in coitus for reproductive purposes.
To this syllogism he adds a corollary, which is, that, therefore, all sexual commerce in the human family, for any other than reproductive purposes, iswrong.These are his texts, so to speak, and through several hundred pages he preaches,don't, don't, don't,sermons. The entire volume is one of denial and prohibition. He proclaims the act, even for the one purpose he allows to be right, as low, and in itself degrading, to be engaged in only after "prayer and fasting" and "mortifying the flesh," and even then, in the most passionless, and only done-because-it-has-to-be manner; as a mere matter of duty; to be permitted by sufferance; joyless, disgusting in itself; a something to be avoided, even in thought, other than it is a necessity for the continuance of the race.
It is from such data as this that thousands of "innocent" brides annually make up their minds as to what is right or wrong in the matter of sexual intercourse.
In doing this, most of these young women are perfectly conscientious, and want to do the right thing, and there are two items in the count that naturally lead them to accept Dr. C.'s teachingsas correct. The first is, that it coincides with all they have ever heard about such matters; the second, that the Doctor flavors all his text with a religious quality, of the alleged most sacred sort. He instances saintly women who have lived the most ascetic lives, and whose religious status was achieved because, and by means of, their perfect chastity. In fact, this word "chastity" (which he translates as entire renunciation of the whole sex nature) becomes the test word of his whole treatise, and its practice is upheld as the true road to all goodness and virtue.
Now, nearly all well-bred and cultivated young women are naturally religious (and not a word should be said against their being so) and they are anxious to time their lives to everything that the highest religious demands prescribe. It is, therefore, most natural that, being thus taught by an authority for which they have the highest regard, they enter marriage with thefixed opinionin accordance with their teaching. How could it be otherwise?
On the other hand, a few young husbands, indeed none but now and then a "goody-good" (who usually turns out to be the worst of the whole lot, in course of time), are willing to "stand for" any such theory, much less to live any such life as this theory would impose. These "don't care what the book says," and, from the manner of their bringing up, from all they have learned or heard by hearingmentalk about married life, (which is usually of the most vulgar sort) they have come to the conclusion that marriage confers upon the parties therightto engagein sexual commerce at will; and, especially, that the husband has therightto the body of his wifewhenever he chooses. For, indeed, does not the law give him that right! And so long as one "keeps inside the law" what more could be asked! Yea, verily! What more could be asked?
So it is thatmost brides and bridegrooms go to their marriage bed with the most widely diverse views as to what is right and wrong in the premises—as to the life they will lead in their new estate. The young wife is for "purity" and "chastity." The young husband, driven by a passion which he has long held in thrall, in the belief that he can now give the fullest vent to it, when he has got where such relief is possible, is like an excited hound when it seizes its prey, which he fully believes he has the right to deal with as he pleases! What wonder that, in view of all these circumstances, the most extensive observer of marriage-bed phenomena should write: "As a matter of fact, nine young husbands in ten practically rape their brides at their first sexual meeting." Could anything be more horrible, or criminally wicked? And it is all so needless! It is all the result of ignorance, of "innocence," and the worst of false teaching. The pity of it!
True, these unfortunate conditions are often modified by "mother nature," who inspires the bride with curiosity, which, in a measure, controls her in spite of her false teachings, and with passion, which, to a degree, will assert itself over and above all false modesty, her religious scruples and her fear of pregnancy;and so shemaycome through the ordeal of introduction to the act of coitus in a fairly sane condition of mind, even though she may have practically beenraped! But, too often, the result of such first contact isa shock to the bride from which she may not recover during all the subsequent years of married life! And "here is where the trouble lies," for untold thousands of married men and women, all over the civilized world, to-day. And it might all be so different! It ought,in every case, to be all so different! But if it ever does become different,knowledgehas got to take the place of "innocence"on the part of thebride, and ofignoranceon the part of thebridegroom, both of whom must betaughtto "Know what they are about" before they engage in the sexual act, and be able to meet each other sanely,righteously, lovingly,because they bothdesirewhat each has to give to the other; in a way in which neither claims anyrights, or makes anydemandsof the other—in a word, inperfect concordof agreement and action, of which mutual love is the inspirer, anddefinite knowledgethe directive agent.
Such a first meeting of bride and bridegroom will be no raping affair. There will be no shock in it, no dread, no shame or thought of shame; but as perfectly as two drops of water flow together and become one, the bodies and souls of the parties to the act will mingle in a unity the most perfect and blissful that can ever be experienced by human beings in this world. This is no dream! It is a most blessed reality, which all normally made husbands and wivescan attain to, if only they are properlytaught and educated, if only they will learn how to reach such blissful condition.
However, such greatly desired status is not to be had for the asking merely.Instinct can never bring it about; "innocence"will never yield such a result; andforce, or the declaration of a "right" in the premises will forever banish it to the realm of the never-to-be-realized. It can only come as a result of clear-headed thinking, scientific investigation, honest study, wise and righteous action under the given conditions; and, above all,a love, each for the other, that knows no bounds. All these thingsmustobtain,on the part of both parties concerned, or the desired results canneverbe attained.
Having said which, here shall follow some suggestions as to how such estate may be reached by the readers of these pages.
But first, let us finish Dr. C., and all of his tribe—banish them from all our reckoning in these matters, forever.
As already shown, this argument has not a leg to stand on. These writers treat the whole situation as though men and women weremere animals! Men and women are far more than mere animals, and God hath made them so! And for these reasons we will have respect for men and women asGod has made them, rather than as Dr. C. and the "purity leagues" say Godshouldhave made them!
As a matter of fact, the secondary function of sex in the human family is somethingfar abovemereanimality; it is something that mere animals know nothing about, that they can never experience, or in any way attain to, and thesefundamental differencesin the premises remove the whole issue from the realm of comparison with any forms or functions of mere animal life. As well reason that animals never eat cooked food, and so men ought never to eat cooked food (and there are some people who do so reason, strange to say) or that animals do not wear clothes, and so men ought not to wear clothes—as well make these, or a score more of comparisons, between the human race and mere animals, as to try to compare them in the item of their sex functions.
In only the single fact that, on the physical plane merely, coitus for the purpose of procreation is common to all animal life, mankind included, is there a point of comparison between humanity and the brute creation.Beyond that point there is nothing comparable between the two! As well say that because beasts can hear, therefore they can comprehend and enjoy a Beethoven Sonata, or because they have eyes they can delight in a picture by Corot!
This is only another way of saying that sex has functions and uses in the human family that are entirely apart from the possibilities of all other animal life—functions as much above mere animality as music is above mere physical hearing, as painting above mere physical sight.
These facts forever upset and overthrow all the theories of Dr. C. and Co., they entirely eliminate the whole bunch from any part or lot in the issue onwhich they have essayed to speak with such authority, but whose main point, whose essential elements they haveentirely misunderstood, and hence have treated in a way that is wholly at variance with the truth in the premises, and it is the truth that we are looking for.
Once more (for it is well to go to the bottom of this matter while we are about it) the honest truth is, thatit is the universal practice of the human race for men and women to cohabit for other purposes than reproduction, and it has always been so, since men and women were men and women! It is true among the most savage and barbarous tribes of the earth, and it is more emphatically true of the highly civilized people in all lands and climes. And is it reasonable to suppose that such a universal phenomenon shouldnothave been intended to be as it is! As well say that appetite for food is a mistake, one that ought to be eliminated!
Again, the experiences of men and women, all over the world, prove that, where this act is engaged in properly, according to the laws that obtain in the premises,it conduces to the highest physical, mental, and spiritual well-being of the parties concerned. Indeed, it is beyond doubt true that the men and women who have never known this most perfect of all human experiences, have never reached the summit of human attainment, have never arrived at the perfection of manhood and womanhood. Length of life, health of the highest sort, and happiness, the most delectable—all come, these and more, to men andwomen by this route,if it is rightly traveled. Hell and damnation result if that road is wrongly trod!
And that's what makes the manner of traveling it so important.