Bene. Gallants, I am not as I haue bin
Leo. So say I, methinkes you are sadder
Claud. I hope he be in loue
Prin. Hang him truant, there's no true drop of bloud in him to be truly toucht with loue, if he be sad, he wants money
Bene. I haue the tooth-ach
Prin. Draw it
Bene. Hang it
Claud. You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards
Prin. What? sigh for the tooth-ach
Leon. Where is but a humour or a worme
Bene. Well, euery one cannot master a griefe, but hee that has it
Clau. Yet say I, he is in loue
Prin. There is no appearance of fancie in him, vnlesse it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguises, as to bee a Dutchman to day, a Frenchman to morrow: vnlesse hee haue a fancy to this foolery, as it appeares hee hath, hee is no foole for fancy, as you would haue it to appeare he is
Clau. If he be not in loue with some woman, there is no beleeuing old signes, a brushes his hat a mornings, What should that bode? Prin. Hath any man seene him at the Barbers? Clau. No, but the Barbers man hath beene seen with him, and the olde ornament of his cheeke hath alreadie stuft tennis balls
Leon. Indeed he lookes yonger than hee did, by thelosse of a beard
Prin. Nay a rubs himselfe with Ciuit, can you smellhim out by that?Clau. That's as much as to say, the sweet youth's inloue
Prin. The greatest note of it is his melancholy
Clau. And when was he wont to wash his face?Prin. Yea, or to paint himselfe? for the which I hearewhat they say of him
Clau. Nay, but his iesting spirit, which is now creptinto a lute-string, and now gouern'd by stops
Prin. Indeed that tels a heauy tale for him: conclude,he is in loue
Clau. Nay, but I know who loues him
Prince. That would I know too, I warrant one thatknowes him not
Cla. Yes, and his ill conditions, and in despight of all,dies for him
Prin. Shee shall be buried with her face vpwards
Bene. Yet is this no charme for the tooth-ake, old signior, walke aside with mee, I haue studied eight or nine wise words to speake to you, which these hobby-horses must not heare
Prin. For my life to breake with him about Beatrice
Clau. 'Tis euen so, Hero and Margaret haue by this played their parts with Beatrice, and then the two Beares will not bite one another when they meete. Enter Iohn the Bastard.
Bast. My Lord and brother, God saue you
Prin. Good den brother
Bast. If your leisure seru'd, I would speake with you
Prince. In priuate?Bast. If it please you, yet Count Claudio may heare,for what I would speake of, concernes him
Prin. What's the matter?Basta. Meanes your Lordship to be married to morrow?Prin. You know he does
Bast. I know not that when he knowes what I know
Clau. If there be any impediment, I pray you discouer it
Bast. You may thinke I loue you not, let that appeare hereafter, and ayme better at me by that I now will manifest, for my brother (I thinke, he holds you well, and in dearenesse of heart) hath holpe to effect your ensuing marriage: surely sute ill spent, and labour ill bestowed
Prin. Why, what's the matter?Bastard. I came hither to tell you, and circumstancesshortned, (for she hath beene too long a talking of) theLady is disloyall
Clau. Who Hero?Bast. Euen shee, Leonatoes Hero, your Hero, euerymans Hero
Clau. Disloyall? Bast. The word is too good to paint out her wickednesse, I could say she were worse, thinke you of a worse title, and I will fit her to it: wonder not till further warrant: goe but with mee to night, you shal see her chamber window entred, euen the night before her wedding day, if you loue her, then to morrow wed her: But it would better fit your honour to change your minde
Claud. May this be so?Princ. I will not thinke it
Bast. If you dare not trust that you see, confesse not that you know: if you will follow mee, I will shew you enough, and when you haue seene more, & heard more, proceed accordingly
Clau. If I see any thing to night, why I should not marry her to morrow in the congregation, where I shold wedde, there will I shame her
Prin. And as I wooed for thee to obtaine her, I will ioyne with thee to disgrace her
Bast. I will disparage her no farther, till you are my witnesses, beare it coldly but till night, and let the issue shew it selfe
Prin. O day vntowardly turned!Claud. O mischiefe strangelie thwarting!Bastard. O plague right well preuented! so will yousay, when you haue seene the sequele.Enter.
Enter Dogbery and his compartner with the watch.
Dog. Are you good men and true?Verg. Yea, or else it were pitty but they should suffersaluation body and soule
Dogb. Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if they should haue any allegiance in them, being chosen for the Princes watch
Verges. Well, giue them their charge, neighbourDogbery
Dog. First, who thinke you the most desartlesse manto be Constable
Watch.1. Hugh Ote-cake sir, or George Sea-coale, forthey can write and reade
Dogb. Come hither neighbour Sea-coale, God hath blest you with a good name: to be a wel-fauoured man, is the gift of Fortune, but to write and reade, comes by Nature
Watch 2. Both which Master Constable Dogb. You haue: I knew it would be your answere: well, for your fauour sir, why giue God thankes, & make no boast of it, and for your writing and reading, let that appeare when there is no need of such vanity, you are thought heere to be the most senslesse and fit man for the Constable of the watch: therefore beare you the lanthorne: this is your charge: You shall comprehend all vagrom men, you are to bid any man stand in the Princes name
Watch 2. How if a will not stand?Dogb. Why then take no note of him, but let him go,and presently call the rest of the Watch together, andthanke God you are ridde of a knaue
Verges. If he will not stand when he is bidden, hee isnone of the Princes subiects
Dogb. True, and they are to meddle with none but the Princes subiects: you shall also make no noise in the streetes: for, for the Watch to babble and talke, is most tollerable, and not to be indured
Watch. We will rather sleepe than talke, wee know what belongs to a Watch
Dog. Why you speake like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping should offend: only haue a care that your bills be not stolne: well, you are to call at all the Alehouses, and bid them that are drunke get them to bed
Watch. How if they will not?Dogb. Why then let them alone till they are sober, ifthey make you not then the better answere, you may say,they are not the men you tooke them for
Watch. Well sir, Dogb. If you meet a theefe, you may suspect him, by vertue of your office, to be no true man: and for such kinde of men, the lesse you meddle or make with them, why the more is for your honesty
Watch. If wee know him to be a thiefe, shall wee not lay hands on him
Dogb. Truly by your office you may, but I think they that touch pitch will be defil'd: the most peaceable way for you, if you doe take a theefe, is, to let him shew himselfe what he is, and steale out of your company
Ver. You haue bin alwaies cal'd a merciful ma[n] partner
Dog. Truely I would not hang a dog by my will, muchmore a man who hath anie honestie in him
Verges. If you heare a child crie in the night you mustcall to the nurse, and bid her still it
Watch. How if the nurse be asleepe and will not heare vs? Dog. Why then depart in peace, and let the childe wake her with crying, for the ewe that will not heare her Lambe when it baes, will neuer answere a calfe when he bleates
Verges. 'Tis verie true
Dog. This is the end of the charge: you constable are to present the Princes owne person, if you meete the Prince in the night, you may staie him
Verges. Nay birladie that I thinke a cannot
Dog. Fiue shillings to one on't with anie man that knowes the Statutes, he may staie him, marrie not without the prince be willing, for indeed the watch ought to offend no man, and it is an offence to stay a man against his will
Verges. Birladie I thinke it be so
Dog. Ha, ah ha, well masters good night, and there be anie matter of weight chances, call vp me, keepe your fellowes counsailes, and your owne, and good night, come neighbour
Watch. Well masters, we heare our charge, let vs go sit here vpon the Church bench till two, and then all to bed
Dog. One word more, honest neighbors. I pray you watch about signior Leonatoes doore, for the wedding being there to morrow, there is a great coyle to night, adiew, be vigitant I beseech you.
Exeunt.
Enter Borachio and Conrade.
Bor. What, Conrade?Watch. Peace, stir not
Bor. Conrade I say
Con. Here man, I am at thy elbow
Bor. Mas and my elbow itcht, I thought there woulda scabbe follow
Con. I will owe thee an answere for that, and nowforward with thy tale
Bor. Stand thee close then vnder this penthouse, for it drissels raine, and I will, like a true drunkard, vtter all to thee
Watch. Some treason masters, yet stand close
Bor. Therefore know, I haue earned of Don Iohn a thousand Ducates
Con. Is it possible that anie villanie should be so deare? Bor. Thou should'st rather aske if it were possible anie villanie should be so rich? for when rich villains haue neede of poore ones, poore ones may make what price they will
Con. I wonder at it
Bor. That shewes thou art vnconfirm'd, thou knowest that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloake, is nothing to a man
Con. Yes, it is apparell
Bor. I meane the fashion
Con. Yes the fashion is the fashion
Bor. Tush, I may as well say the foole's the foole, but seest thou not what a deformed theefe this fashion is? Watch. I know that deformed, a has bin a vile theefe, this vii. yeares, a goes vp and downe like a gentle man: I remember his name
Bor. Did'st thou not heare some bodie?Con. No, 'twas the vaine on the house
Bor. Seest thou not (I say) what a deformed thiefe this fashion is, how giddily a turnes about all the Hotblouds, betweene, foureteene & fiue & thirtie, sometimes fashioning them like Pharaoes souldiours in the rechie painting, sometime like god Bels priests in the old Church window, sometime like the shauen Hercules in the smircht worm-eaten tapestrie, where his cod-peece seemes as massie as his club
Con. All this I see, and see that the fashion weares out more apparrell then the man; but art not thou thy selfe giddie with the fashion too that thou hast shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion? Bor. Not so neither, but know that I haue to night wooed Margaret the Lady Heroes gentle-woman, by the name of Hero, she leanes me out at her mistris chamberwindow, bids me a thousand times good night: I tell this tale vildly. I should first tell thee how the Prince Claudio and my Master planted, and placed, and possessed by my Master Don Iohn, saw a far off in the Orchard this amiable incounter
Con. And thought thy Margaret was Hero? Bor. Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio, but the diuell my Master knew she was Margaret and partly by his oathes, which first possest them, partly by the darke night which did deceiue them, but chiefely, by my villanie, which did confirme any slander that Don Iohn had made, away went Claudio enraged, swore hee would meete her as he was apointed next morning at the Temple, and there, before the whole congregation shame her with what he saw o're night, and send her home againe without a husband
Watch.1. We charge you in the Princes name stand
Watch.2. Call vp the right master Constable, we haue here recouered the most dangerous peece of lechery, that euer was knowne in the Common-wealth
Watch.1. And one Deformed is one of them, I know him, a weares a locke
Conr. Masters, masters
Watch.2. Youle be made bring deformed forth I warrantyou,Conr. Masters, neuer speake, we charge you, let vs obeyyou to goe with vs
Bor. We are like to proue a goodly commoditie, beingtaken vp of these mens bils
Conr. A commoditie in question I warrant you, comeweele obey you.
Exeunt.
Enter Hero, and Margaret, and Vrsula.
Hero. Good Vrsula wake my cosin Beatrice, and desire her to rise
Vrsu. I will Lady
Her. And bid her come hither
Vrs. Well
Mar. Troth I thinke your other rebato were better
Hero. No pray thee good Meg, Ile weare this
Marg. By my troth's not so good, and I warrant yourcosin will say so
Hero. My cosin's a foole, and thou art another, ileweare none but this
Mar. I like the new tire within excellently, if the haire were a thought browner: and your gown's a most rare fashion yfaith, I saw the Dutchesse of Millaines gowne that they praise so
Hero. O that exceedes they say
Mar. By my troth's but a night-gowne in respect of yours, cloth a gold and cuts, and lac'd with siluer, set with pearles, downe sleeues, side sleeues, and skirts, round vnderborn with a blewish tinsel, but for a fine queint gracefull and excellent fashion, yours is worth ten on't
Hero. God giue mee ioy to weare it, for my heart isexceeding heauy
Marga. 'Twill be heauier soone, by the waight of aman
Hero. Fie vpon thee, art not asham'd? Marg. Of what Lady? of speaking honourably? is not marriage honourable in a beggar? is not your Lord honourable without marriage? I thinke you would haue me say, sauing your reuerence a husband: and bad thinking doe not wrest true speaking, Ile offend no body, is there any harme in the heauier for a husband? none I thinke, and it be the right husband, and the right wife, otherwise 'tis light and not heauy, aske my Lady Beatrice else, here she comes. Enter Beatrice.
Hero. Good morrow Coze
Beat. Good morrow sweet Hero
Hero. Why how now? do you speake in the sick tune?Beat. I am out of all other tune, me thinkes
Mar. Claps into Light a loue, (that goes without aburden,) do you sing it and Ile dance it
Beat. Ye Light aloue with your heeles, then if your husband haue stables enough, you'll looke he shall lacke no barnes
Mar. O illegitimate construction! I scorne that withmy heeles
Beat. 'Tis almost fiue a clocke cosin, 'tis time youwere ready, by my troth I am exceeding ill, hey ho
Mar. For a hauke, a horse, or a husband?Beat. For the letter that begins them all, H
Mar. Well, and you be not turn'd Turke, there's nomore sayling by the starre
Beat. What meanes the foole trow?Mar. Nothing I, but God send euery one their hartsdesire
Hero. These gloues the Count sent mee, they are anexcellent perfume
Beat. I am stuft cosin, I cannot smell
Mar. A maid and stuft! there's goodly catching ofcolde
Beat. O God helpe me, God help me, how long haueyou profest apprehension?Mar. Euer since you left it, doth not my wit becomeme rarely?Beat. It is not seene enough, you should weare it inyour cap, by my troth I am sicke
Mar. Get you some of this distill'd carduus benedictusand lay it to your heart, it is the onely thing for a qualm
Hero. There thou prick'st her with a thissell
Beat. Benedictus, why benedictus? you haue some morall in this benedictus
Mar. Morall? no by my troth, I haue no morall meaning, I meant plaine holy thissell, you may thinke perchance that I thinke you are in loue, nay birlady I am not such a foole to thinke what I list, nor I list not to thinke what I can, nor indeed, I cannot thinke, if I would thinke my hart out of thinking, that you are in loue, or that you will be in loue, or that you can be in loue: yet Benedicke was such another, and now is he become a man, he swore hee would neuer marry, and yet now in despight of his heart he eates his meat without grudging, and how you may be conuerted I know not, but me thinkes you looke with your eies as other women doe
Beat. What pace is this that thy tongue keepes
Mar. Not a false gallop.Enter Vrsula.
Vrsula. Madam, withdraw, the Prince, the Count, signior Benedicke, Don Iohn, and all the gallants of the towne are come to fetch you to Church
Hero. Helpe me to dresse mee good coze, good Meg,good Vrsula.Enter Leonato, and the Constable, and the Headborough.
Leonato. What would you with mee, honest neighbour?Const.Dog. Mary sir I would haue some confidencewith you, that decernes you nearely
Leon. Briefe I pray you, for you see it is a busie timewith me
Const.Dog. Mary this it is sir
Headb. Yes in truth it is sir
Leon. What is it my good friends? Con.Do. Goodman Verges sir speakes a little of the matter, an old man sir, and his wits are not so blunt, as God helpe I would desire they were, but infaith honest as the skin betweene his browes
Head. Yes I thank God, I am as honest as any man liuing,that is an old man, and no honester then I
Con.Dog. Comparisons are odorous, palabras, neighbourVerges
Leon. Neighbours, you are tedious
Con.Dog. It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the poore Dukes officers, but truely for mine owne part, if I were as tedious as a King I could finde in my heart to bestow it all of your worship
Leon. All thy tediousnesse on me, ah? Const.Dog. Yea, and 'twere a thousand times more than 'tis, for I heare as good exclamation on your Worship as of any man in the Citie, and though I bee but a poore man, I am glad to heare it
Head. And so am I
Leon. I would faine know what you haue to say
Head. Marry sir our watch to night, excepting your worships presence, haue tane a couple of as arrant knaues as any in Messina
Con.Dog. A good old man sir, hee will be talking as they say, when the age is in, the wit is out, God helpe vs, it is a world to see: well said yfaith neighbour Verges, well, God's a good man, and two men ride of a horse, one must ride behinde, an honest soule yfaith sir, by my troth he is, as euer broke bread, but God is to bee worshipt, all men are not alike, alas good neighbour
Leon. Indeed neighbour he comes too short of you
Con.Do. Gifts that God giues
Leon. I must leaue you
Con.Dog. One word sir, our watch sir haue indeede comprehended two aspitious persons, & we would haue them this morning examined before your worship
Leon. Take their examination your selfe, and bring it me, I am now in great haste, as may appeare vnto you
Const. It shall be suffigance
Leon. Drinke some wine ere you goe: fare you well.Enter.
Messenger. My Lord, they stay for you to giue yourdaughter to her husband
Leon. Ile wait vpon them, I am ready
Dogb. Goe good partner, goe get you to Francis Seacoale, bid him bring his pen and inkehorne to the Gaole: we are now to examine those men
Verges. And we must doe it wisely
Dogb. Wee will spare for no witte I warrant you: heere's that shall driue some to a non-come, only get the learned writer to set downe our excommunication, and meet me at the Iaile.
Exeunt.
Actus Quartus.
Enter Prince, Bastard, Leonato, Frier, Claudio, Benedicke, Hero,andBeatrice.
Leonato. Come Frier Francis, be briefe, onely to the plaine forme of marriage, and you shal recount their particular duties afterwards
Fran. You come hither, my Lord, to marry this Lady
Clau. No
Leo. To be married to her: Frier, you come to marrieher
Frier. Lady, you come hither to be married to thisCount
Hero. I doe
Frier. If either of you know any inward impediment why you should not be conioyned, I charge you on your soules to vtter it
Claud. Know you anie, Hero?Hero. None my Lord
Frier. Know you anie, Count?Leon. I dare make his answer, None
Clau. O what men dare do! what men may do! whatmen daily do!Bene. How now! interiections? why then, some beof laughing, as ha, ha, he
Clau. Stand thee by Frier, father, by your leaue,Will you with free and vnconstrained souleGiue me this maid your daughter?Leon. As freely sonne as God did giue her me
Cla. And what haue I to giue you back, whose worthMay counterpoise this rich and precious gift?Prin. Nothing, vnlesse you render her againe
Clau. Sweet Prince, you learn me noble thankfulnes:There Leonato, take her backe againe,Giue not this rotten Orenge to your friend,Shee's but the signe and semblance of her honour:Behold how like a maid she blushes heere!O what authoritie and shew of truthCan cunning sinne couer it selfe withall!Comes not that bloud, as modest euidence,To witnesse simple Vertue? would you not sweareAll you that see her, that she were a maide,By these exterior shewes? But she is none:She knowes the heat of a luxurious bed:Her blush is guiltinesse, not modestie
Leonato. What doe you meane, my Lord?Clau. Not to be married,Not to knit my soule to an approued wanton
Leon. Deere my Lord, if you in your owne proofe,Haue vanquisht the resistance of her youth,And made defeat of her virginitie
Clau. I know what you would say: if I haue knowne(her,You will say, she did imbrace me as a husband,And so extenuate the forehand sinne: No Leonato,I neuer tempted her with word too large,But as a brother to his sister, shewedBashfull sinceritie and comely loue
Hero. And seem'd I euer otherwise to you?Clau. Out on thee seeming, I will write against it,You seeme to me as Diane in her Orbe,As chaste as is the budde ere it be blowne:But you are more intemperate in your blood,Than Venus, or those pampred animalls,That rage in sauage sensualitie
Hero. Is my Lord well, that he doth speake so wide?Leon. Sweete Prince, why speake not you?Prin. What should I speake?I stand dishonour'd that haue gone about,To linke my deare friend to a common stale
Leon. Are these things spoken, or doe I but dreame?Bast. Sir, they are spoken, and these things are true
Bene. This lookes not like a nuptiall
Hero. True, O God!Clau. Leonato, stand I here?Is this the Prince? is this the Princes brother?Is this face Heroes? are our eies our owne?Leon. All this is so, but what of this my Lord?Clau. Let me but moue one question to your daughter,And by that fatherly and kindly power,That you haue in her, bid her answer truly
Leo. I charge thee doe, as thou art my childe
Hero. O God defend me how am I beset,What kinde of catechizing call you this?Clau. To make you answer truly to your name
Hero. Is it not Hero? who can blot that nameWith any iust reproach?Claud. Marry that can Hero,Hero it selfe can blot out Heroes vertue.What man was he, talkt with you yesternight,Out at your window betwixt twelue and one?Now if you are a maid, answer to this
Hero. I talkt with no man at that howre my Lord
Prince. Why then you are no maiden. Leonato,I am sorry you must heare: vpon mine honor,My selfe, my brother, and this grieued CountDid see her, heare her, at that howre last night,Talke with a ruffian at her chamber window,Who hath indeed most like a liberall villaine,Confest the vile encounters they haue hadA thousand times in secret
Iohn. Fie, fie, they are not to be named my Lord,Not to be spoken of,There is not chastitie enough in language,Without offence to vtter them: thus pretty LadyI am sorry for thy much misgouernment
Claud. O Hero! what a Hero hadst thou beeneIf halfe thy outward graces had beene placedAbout thy thoughts and counsailes of thy heart?But fare thee well, most foule, most faire, farewellThou pure impiety, and impious puritie,For thee Ile locke vp all the gates of Loue,And on my eie-lids shall Coniecture hang,To turne all beauty into thoughts of harme,And neuer shall it more be gracious
Leon. Hath no mans dagger here a point for me?Beat. Why how now cosin, wherfore sink you down?Bast. Come, let vs go: these things come thus to light,Smother her spirits vp
Bene. How doth the Lady?Beat. Dead I thinke, helpe vncle,Hero, why Hero, Vncle, Signor Benedicke, Frier
Leonato. O Fate! take not away thy heauy hand,Death is the fairest couer for her shameThat may be wisht for
Beatr. How now cosin Hero?Fri. Haue comfort Ladie
Leon. Dost thou looke vp?Frier. Yea, wherefore should she not?Leon. Wherfore? Why doth not euery earthly thingCry shame vpon her? Could she heere denieThe storie that is printed in her blood?Do not liue Hero, do not ope thine eyes:For did I thinke thou wouldst not quickly die,Thought I thy spirits were stronger then thy shames,My selfe would on the reward of reproachesStrike at thy life. Grieu'd I, I had but one?Chid I, for that at frugal Natures frame?O one too much by thee: why had I one?Why euer was't thou louelie in my eies?Why had I not with charitable handTooke vp a beggars issue at my gates,Who smeered thus, and mir'd with infamie,I might haue said, no part of it is mine:This shame deriues it selfe from vnknowne loines,But mine, and mine I lou'd, and mine I prais'd,And mine that I was proud on mine so much,That I my selfe, was to my selfe not mine:Valewing of her, why she, O she is falneInto a pit of Inke, that the wide seaHath drops too few to wash her cleane againe,And salt too little, which may season giueTo her foule tainted flesh
Ben. Sir, sir, be patient: for my part, I am so attiredin wonder, I know not what to say
Bea. O on my soule my cosin is belied
Ben. Ladie, were you her bedfellow last night?Bea. No, truly: not although vntill last night,I haue this tweluemonth bin her bedfellow
Leon. Confirm'd, confirm'd, O that is stronger madeWhich was before barr'd vp with ribs of iron.Would the Princes lie, and Claudio lie,Who lou'd her so, that speaking of her foulnesse,Wash'd it with teares? Hence from her, let her die
Fri. Heare me a little, for I haue onely bene silent solong, and giuen way vnto this course of fortune, by notingof the Ladie, I haue markt.A thousand blushing apparitions,To start into her face, a thousand innocent shames,In Angel whitenesse beare away those blushes,And in her eie there hath appear'd a fireTo burne the errors that these Princes holdAgainst her maiden truth. Call me a foole,Trust not my reading, nor my obseruations,Which with experimental seale doth warrantThe tenure of my booke: trust not my age,My reuerence, calling, nor diuinitie,If this sweet Ladie lye not guiltlesse heere,Vnder some biting error
Leo. Friar, it cannot be:Thou seest that all the Grace that she hath left,Is, that she wil not adde to her damnation,A sinne of periury, she not denies it:Why seek'st thou then to couer with excuse,That which appeares in proper nakednesse?Fri. Ladie, what man is he you are accus'd of?Hero. They know that do accuse me, I know none:If I know more of any man aliueThen that which maiden modestie doth warrant,Let all my sinnes lacke mercy. O my Father,Proue you that any man with me conuerst,At houres vnmeete, or that I yesternightMaintain'd the change of words with any creature,Refuse me, hate me, torture me to death
Fri. There is some strange misprision in the Princes
Ben. Two of them haue the verie bent of honor,And if their wisedomes be misled in this:The practise of it liues in Iohn the bastard,Whose spirits toile in frame of villanies
Leo. I know not: if they speake but truth of her,These hands shall teare her: If they wrong her honour,The proudest of them shall wel heare of it.Time hath not yet so dried this bloud of mine,Nor age so eate vp my inuention,Nor Fortune made such hauocke of my meanes,Nor my bad life reft me so much of friends,But they shall finde, awak'd in such a kinde,Both strength of limbe, and policie of minde,Ability in meanes, and choise of friends,To quit me of them throughly
Fri. Pause awhile:And let my counsell sway you in this case,Your daughter heere the Princesse (left for dead)Let her awhile be secretly kept in,And publish it, that she is dead indeed:Maintaine a mourning ostentation,And on your Families old monument,Hang mournfull Epitaphes, and do all rites,That appertaine vnto a buriall
Leon. What shall become of this? What wil this do?Fri. Marry this wel carried, shall on her behalfe,Change slander to remorse, that is some good,But not for that dreame I on this strange course,But on this trauaile looke for greater birth:She dying, as it must be so maintain'd,Vpon the instant that she was accus'd,Shal be lamented, pittied, and excus'dOf euery hearer: for it so fals out,That what we haue, we prize not to the worth,Whiles we enioy it; but being lack'd and lost,Why then we racke the value, then we findeThe vertue that possession would not shew vsWhiles it was ours, so will it fare with Claudio:When he shal heare she dyed vpon his words,Th' Idea of her life shal sweetly creepeInto his study of imagination.And euery louely Organ of her life,Shall come apparel'd in more precious habite:More mouing delicate, and ful of life,Into the eye and prospect of his souleThen when she liu'd indeed: then shal he mourne,If euer Loue had interest in his Liuer,And wish he had not so accused her:No, though he thought his accusation true:Let this be so, and doubt not but successeWil fashion the euent in better shape,Then I can lay it downe in likelihood.But if all ayme but this be leuelld false,The supposition of the Ladies death,Will quench the wonder of her infamie.And if it sort not well, you may conceale herAs best befits her wounded reputation,In some reclusiue and religious life,Out of all eyes, tongues, mindes and iniuries
Bene. Signior Leonato, let the Frier aduise you,And though you know my inwardnesse and loueIs very much vnto the Prince and Claudio.Yet, by mine honor, I will deale in this,As secretly and iustlie, as your souleShould with your bodie
Leon. Being that I flow in greefe,The smallest twine may lead me
Frier. 'Tis well consented, presently away,For to strange sores, strangely they straine the cure,Come Lady, die to liue, this wedding dayPerhaps is but prolong'd, haue patience & endure.Enter.
Bene. Lady Beatrice, haue you wept all this while?Beat. Yea, and I will weepe a while longer
Bene. I will not desire that
Beat. You haue no reason, I doe it freely
Bene. Surelie I do beleeue your fair cosin is wrong'd
Beat. Ah, how much might the man deserue of meethat would right her!Bene. Is there any way to shew such friendship?Beat. A verie euen way, but no such friend
Bene. May a man doe it?Beat. It is a mans office, but not yours
Bene. I doe loue nothing in the world so well as you, is not that strange? Beat. As strange as the thing I know not, it were as possible for me to say, I loued nothing so well as you, but beleeue me not, and yet I lie not, I confesse nothing, nor I deny nothing, I am sorry for my cousin
Bene. By my sword Beatrice thou lou'st me
Beat. Doe not sweare by it and eat it
Bene. I will sweare by it that you loue mee, and I willmake him eat it that sayes I loue not you
Beat. Will you not eat your word?Bene. With no sawce that can be deuised to it, I protestI loue thee
Beat. Why then God forgiue me
Bene. What offence sweet Beatrice?Beat. You haue stayed me in a happy howre, I was aboutto protest I loued you
Bene. And doe it with all thy heart
Beat. I loue you with so much of my heart, that none is left to protest
Bened. Come, bid me doe any thing for thee
Beat. Kill Claudio
Bene. Ha, not for the wide world
Beat. You kill me to denie, farewell
Bene. Tarrie sweet Beatrice
Beat. I am gone, though I am heere, there is no loue in you, nay I pray you let me goe
Bene. Beatrice
Beat. Infaith I will goe
Bene. Wee'll be friends first
Beat. You dare easier be friends with mee, than fight with mine enemy
Bene. Is Claudio thine enemie? Beat. Is a not approued in the height a villaine, that hath slandered, scorned, dishonoured my kinswoman? O that I were a man! what, beare her in hand vntill they come to take hands, and then with publike accusation vncouered slander, vnmittigated rancour? O God that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market-place
Bene. Heare me Beatrice
Beat. Talke with a man out at a window, a proper saying
Bene. Nay but Beatrice
Beat. Sweet Hero, she is wrong'd, shee is slandered, she is vndone
Bene. Beat? Beat. Princes and Counties! surelie a Princely testimonie, a goodly Count, Comfect, a sweet Gallant surelie, O that I were a man for his sake! or that I had any friend would be a man for my sake! But manhood is melted into cursies, valour into complement, and men are onelie turned into tongue, and trim ones too: he is now as valiant as Hercules, that only tells a lie, and sweares it: I cannot be a man with wishing, therfore I will die a woman with grieuing
Bene. Tarry good Beatrice, by this hand I loue thee
Beat. Vse it for my loue some other way then swearingby it
Bened. Thinke you in your soule the Count Claudiohath wrong'd Hero?Beat. Yea, as sure as I haue a thought, or a soule
Bene. Enough, I am engagde, I will challenge him, I will kisse your hand, and so leaue you: by this hand Claudio shall render me a deere account: as you heare of me, so thinke of me: goe comfort your coosin, I must say she is dead, and so farewell. Enter the Constables, Borachio, and the Towne Clerke in gownes.
Keeper. Is our whole dissembly appeard?Cowley. O a stoole and a cushion for the Sexton
Sexton. Which be the malefactors?Andrew. Marry that am I, and my partner
Cowley. Nay that's certaine, wee haue the exhibitionto examine
Sexton. But which are the offenders that are to be examined,let them come before master Constable
Kemp. Yea marry, let them come before mee, what isyour name, friend?Bor. Borachio
Kem. Pray write downe Borachio. Yours sirra
Con. I am a Gentleman sir, and my name is Conrade
Kee. Write downe Master gentleman Conrade: maisters, doe you serue God: maisters, it is proued alreadie that you are little better than false knaues, and it will goe neere to be thought so shortly, how answer you for your selues? Con. Marry sir, we say we are none
Kemp. A maruellous witty fellow I assure you, but I will goe about with him: come you hither sirra, a word in your eare sir, I say to you, it is thought you are false knaues
Bor. Sir, I say to you, we are none
Kemp. Well, stand aside, 'fore God they are both ina tale: haue you writ downe that they are none?Sext. Master Constable, you goe not the way to examine,you must call forth the watch that are their accusers
Kemp. Yea marry, that's the eftest way, let the watch come forth: masters, I charge you in the Princes name, accuse these men
Watch 1. This man said sir, that Don Iohn the Princesbrother was a villaine
Kemp. Write down, Prince Iohn a villaine: why thisis flat periurie, to call a Princes brother villaine
Bora. Master Constable
Kemp. Pray thee fellow peace, I do not like thy lookeI promise thee
Sexton. What heard you him say else?Watch 2. Mary that he had receiued a thousand Dukatesof Don Iohn, for accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully
Kemp. Flat Burglarie as euer was committed
Const. Yea by th' masse that it is
Sexton. What else fellow?Watch 1. And that Count Claudio did meane vpon hiswords, to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly, andnot marry her
Kemp. O villaine! thou wilt be condemn'd into euerlastingredemption for this
Sexton. What else?Watch. This is all
Sexton. And this is more masters then you can deny, Prince Iohn is this morning secretly stolne away: Hero was in this manner accus'd, in this very manner refus'd, and vpon the griefe of this sodainely died: Master Constable, let these men be bound, and brought to Leonato, I will goe before, and shew him their examination
Const. Come, let them be opinion'd
Sex. Let them be in the hands of Coxcombe
Kem. Gods my life, where's the Sexton? let him write downe the Princes Officer Coxcombe: come, binde them thou naughty varlet
Couley. Away, you are an asse, you are an asse
Kemp. Dost thou not suspect my place? dost thou not suspect my yeeres? O that hee were heere to write mee downe an asse! but masters, remember that I am an asse: though it be not written down, yet forget not y I am an asse: No thou villaine, y art full of piety as shall be prou'd vpon thee by good witnesse, I am a wise fellow, and which is more, an officer, and which is more, a houshoulder, and which is more, as pretty a peece of flesh as any in Messina, and one that knowes the Law, goe to, & a rich fellow enough, goe to, and a fellow that hath had losses, and one that hath two gownes, and euery thing handsome about him: bring him away: O that I had been writ downe an asse! Enter.
Actus Quintus.
Enter Leonato and his brother.
Brother. If you goe on thus, you will kill your selfe,And 'tis not wisedome thus to second griefe,Against your selfe
Leon. I pray thee cease thy counsaile,Which falls into mine eares as profitlesse,As water in a siue: giue not me counsaile,Nor let no comfort delight mine eare,But such a one whose wrongs doth sute with mine.Bring me a father that so lou'd his childe,Whose ioy of her is ouer-whelmed like mine,And bid him speake of patience,Measure his woe the length and bredth of mine,And let it answere euery straine for straine,As thus for thus, and such a griefe for such,In euery lineament, branch, shape, and forme:If such a one will smile and stroke his beard,And sorrow, wagge, crie hem, when he should grone,Patch griefe with prouerbs, make misfortune drunke,With candle-wasters: bring him yet to me,And I of him will gather patience:But there is no such man, for brother, menCan counsaile, and speake comfort to that griefe,Which they themselues not feele, but tasting it,Their counsaile turnes to passion, which before,Would giue preceptiall medicine to rage,Fetter strong madnesse in a silken thred,Charme ache with ayre, and agony with words,No, no, 'tis all mens office, to speake patienceTo those that wring vnder the load of sorrow:But no mans vertue nor sufficiencieTo be so morall, when he shall endureThe like himselfe: therefore giue me no counsaile,My griefs cry lowder then aduertisement
Broth. Therein do men from children nothing differ
Leonato. I pray thee peace, I will be flesh and bloud,For there was neuer yet Philosopher,That could endure the tooth-ake patiently,How euer they haue writ the stile of gods,And made a push at chance and sufferance
Brother. Yet bend not all the harme vpon your selfe,Make those that doe offend you, suffer too
Leon. There thou speak'st reason, nay I will doe so,My soule doth tell me, Hero is belied,And that shall Claudio know, so shall the Prince,And all of them that thus dishonour her.Enter Prince and Claudio.
Brot. Here comes the Prince and Claudio hastily
Prin. Good den, good den
Clau. Good day to both of you
Leon. Heare you my Lords?Prin. We haue some haste Leonato
Leo. Some haste my Lord! wel, fareyouwel my Lord,Are you so hasty now? well, all is one
Prin. Nay, do not quarrel with vs, good old man
Brot. If he could rite himselfe with quarrelling,Some of vs would lie low
Claud. Who wrongs him?Leon. Marry y dost wrong me, thou dissembler, thou:Nay, neuer lay thy hand vpon thy sword,I feare thee not
Claud. Marry beshrew my hand,If it should giue your age such cause of feare,Infaith my hand meant nothing to my sword
Leonato. Tush, tush, man, neuer fleere and iest at me,I speake not like a dotard, nor a foole,As vnder priuiledge of age to bragge,What I haue done being yong, or what would doe,Were I not old, know Claudio to thy head,Thou hast so wrong'd my innocent childe and me,That I am forc'd to lay my reuerence by,And with grey haires and bruise of many daies,Doe challenge thee to triall of a man,I say thou hast belied mine innocent childe.Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart,And she lies buried with her ancestors:O in a tombe where neuer scandall slept,Saue this of hers, fram'd by thy villanie
Claud. My villany?Leonato. Thine Claudio, thine I say
Prin. You say not right old man
Leon. My Lord, my Lord,Ile proue it on his body if he dare,Despight his nice fence, and his actiue practise,His Maie of youth, and bloome of lustihood
Claud. Away, I will not haue to do with you
Leo. Canst thou so daffe me? thou hast kild my child,If thou kilst me, boy, thou shalt kill a man
Bro. He shall kill two of vs, and men indeed,But that's no matter, let him kill one first:Win me and weare me, let him answere me,Come follow me boy, come sir boy, come follow meSir boy, ile whip you from your foyning fence,Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will
Leon. Brother
Brot. Content your self, God knows I lou'd my neece,And she is dead, slander'd to death by villaines,That dare as well answer a man indeede,As I dare take a serpent by the tongue.Boyes, apes, braggarts, Iackes, milke-sops
Leon. Brother Anthony
Brot. Hold you content, what man? I know them, yeaAnd what they weigh, euen to the vtmost scruple,Scambling, out-facing, fashion-monging boyes,That lye, and cog, and flout, depraue, and slander,Goe antiquely, and show outward hidiousnesse,And speake of halfe a dozen dang'rous words,How they might hurt their enemies, if they durst.And this is all
Leon. But brother Anthonie
Ant. Come, 'tis no matter,Do not you meddle, let me deale in this
Pri. Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patienceMy heart is sorry for your daughters death:But on my honour she was charg'd with nothingBut what was true, and very full of proofe
Leon. My Lord, my Lord
Prin. I will not heare you.Enter Benedicke.
Leo. No come brother, away, I will be heard.
Exeunt. ambo.
Bro. And shall, or some of vs will smart for it
Prin. See, see, here comes the man we went to seeke
Clau. Now signior, what newes?Ben. Good day my Lord
Prin. Welcome signior, you are almost come to partalmost a fray
Clau. Wee had likt to haue had our two noses snaptoff with two old men without teeth
Prin. Leonato and his brother, what think'st thou? had wee fought, I doubt we should haue beene too yong for them
Ben. In a false quarrell there is no true valour, I cameto seeke you both
Clau. We haue beene vp and downe to seeke thee, forwe are high proofe melancholly, and would faine haue itbeaten away, wilt thou vse thy wit?Ben. It is in my scabberd, shall I draw it?Prin. Doest thou weare thy wit by thy side?Clau. Neuer any did so, though verie many haue beenbeside their wit, I will bid thee drawe, as we do the minstrels,draw to pleasure vs
Prin. As I am an honest man he lookes pale, art thousicke, or angrie?Clau. What, courage man: what though care kil'd acat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care
Ben. Sir, I shall meete your wit in the careere, andyou charge it against me, I pray you chuse another subiect
Clau. Nay then giue him another staffe, this last wasbroke crosse
Prin. By this light, he changes more and more, I thinkehe be angrie indeede
Clau. If he be, he knowes how to turne his girdle
Ben. Shall I speake a word in your eare?Clau. God blesse me from a challenge
Ben. You are a villaine, I iest not, I will make it good how you dare, with what you dare, and when you dare: do me right, or I will protest your cowardise: you haue kill'd a sweete Ladie, and her death shall fall heauie on you, let me heare from you
Clau. Well, I will meete you, so I may haue goodcheare
Prin. What, a feast, a feast?Clau. I faith I thanke him, he hath bid me to a calueshead and a Capon, the which if I doe not carue most curiously,say my knife's naught, shall I not finde a woodcocketoo?Ben. Sir, your wit ambles well, it goes easily
Prin. Ile tell thee how Beatrice prais'd thy wit the other day: I said thou hadst a fine wit: true saies she, a fine little one: no said I, a great wit: right saies shee, a great grosse one: nay said I, a good wit: iust said she, it hurts no body: nay said I, the gentleman is wise: certaine said she, a wise gentleman: nay said I, he hath the tongues: that I beleeue said shee, for hee swore a thing to me on munday night, which he forswore on tuesday morning: there's a double tongue, there's two tongues: thus did shee an howre together trans-shape thy particular vertues, yet at last she concluded with a sigh, thou wast the proprest man in Italie
Claud. For the which she wept heartily, and said shee car'd not
Prin. Yea that she did, but yet for all that, and if shee did not hate him deadlie, shee would loue him dearely, the old mans daughter told vs all
Clau. All, all, and moreouer, God saw him when hewas hid in the garden
Prin. But when shall we set the sauage Bulls horneson the sensible Benedicks head?Clau. Yea and text vnderneath, heere dwells Benedickethe married man
Ben. Fare you well, Boy, you know my minde, I will leaue you now to your gossep-like humor, you breake iests as braggards do their blades, which God be thanked hurt not: my Lord, for your manie courtesies I thank you, I must discontinue your companie, your brother the Bastard is fled from Messina: you haue among you, kill'd a sweet and innocent Ladie: for my Lord Lackebeard there, he and I shall meete, and till then peace be with him
Prin. He is in earnest
Clau. In most profound earnest, and Ile warrant you, for the loue of Beatrice
Prin. And hath challeng'd thee
Clau. Most sincerely
Prin. What a prettie thing man is, when he goes in his doublet and hose, and leaues off his wit. Enter Constable, Conrade, and Borachio.
Clau. He is then a Giant to an Ape, but then is an Ape a Doctor to such a man
Prin. But soft you, let me be, plucke vp my heart, and be sad, did he not say my brother was fled? Const. Come you sir, if iustice cannot tame you, shee shall nere weigh more reasons in her ballance, nay, and you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be lookt to
Prin. How now, two of my brothers men bound? Borachio one
Clau. Harken after their offence my Lord
Prin. Officers, what offence haue these men done? Const. Marrie sir, they haue committed false report, moreouer they haue spoken vntruths, secondarily they are slanders, sixt and lastly, they haue belyed a Ladie, thirdly, they haue verified vniust things, and to conclude they are lying knaues
Prin. First I aske thee what they haue done, thirdlie I aske thee what's their offence, sixt and lastlie why they are committed, and to conclude, what you lay to their charge
Clau. Rightlie reasoned, and in his owne diuision, and by my troth there's one meaning well suted
Prin. Who haue you offended masters, that you are thus bound to your answer? this learned Constable is too cunning to be vnderstood, what's your offence? Bor. Sweete Prince, let me go no farther to mine answere: do you heare me, and let this Count kill mee: I haue deceiued euen your verie eies: what your wisedomes could not discouer, these shallow fooles haue brought to light, who in the night ouerheard me confessing to this man, how Don Iohn your brother incensed me to slander the Ladie Hero, how you were brought into the Orchard, and saw me court Margaret in Heroes garments, how you disgrac'd her when you should marrie her: my villanie they haue vpon record, which I had rather seale with my death, then repeate ouer to my shame: the Ladie is dead vpon mine and my masters false accusation: and briefelie, I desire nothing but the reward of a villaine
Prin. Runs not this speech like yron through yourbloud?Clau. I haue drunke poison whiles he vtter'd it
Prin. But did my Brother set thee on to this?Bor. Yea, and paid me richly for the practise of it
Prin. He is compos'd and fram'd of treacherie,And fled he is vpon this villanie
Clau. Sweet Hero, now thy image doth appeareIn the rare semblance that I lou'd it first
Const. Come, bring away the plaintiffes, by this time our Sexton hath reformed Signior Leonato of the matter: and masters, do not forget to specifie when time & place shall serue, that I am an Asse
Con.2. Here, here comes master Signior Leonato, andthe Sexton too.Enter Leonato.
Leon. Which is the villaine? let me see his eies,That when I note another man like him,I may auoide him: which of these is he?Bor. If you would know your wronger, looke on me
Leon. Art thou the slaue that with thy breathhast kild mine innocent childe?Bor. Yea, euen I alone
Leo. No, not so villaine, thou beliest thy selfe,Here stand a paire of honourable men,A third is fled that had a hand in it:I thanke you Princes for my daughters death,Record it with your high and worthie deedes,'Twas brauely done, if you bethinke you of it
Clau. I know not how to pray your patience,Yet I must speake, choose your reuenge your selfe,Impose me to what penance your inuentionCan lay vpon my sinne, yet sinn'd I not,But in mistaking
Prin. By my soule nor I,And yet to satisfie this good old man,I would bend vnder anie heauie waight,That heele enioyne me to
Leon. I cannot bid you bid my daughter liue,That were impossible, but I praie you both,Possesse the people in Messina here,How innocent she died, and if your loueCan labour aught in sad inuention,Hang her an epitaph vpon her toomb,And sing it to her bones, sing it to night:To morrow morning come you to my house,And since you could not be my sonne in law,Be yet my Nephew: my brother hath a daughter,Almost the copie of my childe that's dead,And she alone is heire to both of vs,Giue her the right you should haue giu'n her cosin,And so dies my reuenge
Clau. O noble sir!Your ouerkindnesse doth wring teares from me,I do embrace your offer, and disposeFor henceforth of poore Claudio
Leon. To morrow then I will expect your comming,To night I take my leaue, this naughtie manShall face to face be brought to Margaret,Who I beleeue was packt in all this wrong,Hired to it by your brother
Bor. No, by my soule she was not,Nor knew not what she did when she spoke to me,But alwaies hath bin iust and vertuous,In anie thing that I do know by her
Const. Moreouer sir, which indeede is not vnder white and black, this plaintiffe here, the offendour did call mee asse, I beseech you let it be remembred in his punishment, and also the watch heard them talke of one Deformed, they say he weares a key in his eare and a lock hanging by it, and borrowes monie in Gods name, the which he hath vs'd so long, and neuer paied, that now men grow hard-harted and will lend nothing for Gods sake: praie you examine him vpon that point
Leon. I thanke thee for thy care and honest paines
Const. Your worship speakes like a most thankefull and reuerend youth, and I praise God for you
Leon. There's for thy paines
Const. God saue the foundation
Leon. Goe, I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I thanke thee
Const. I leaue an arrant knaue with your worship, which I beseech your worship to correct your selfe, for the example of others: God keepe your worship, I wish your worship well, God restore you to health, I humblie giue you leaue to depart, and if a merrie meeting may be wisht, God prohibite it: come neighbour
Leon. Vntill to morrow morning, Lords, farewell.
Exeunt.
Brot. Farewell my Lords, we looke for you to morrow
Prin. We will not faile
Clau. To night ile mourne with Hero
Leon. Bring you these fellowes on, weel talke with Margaret, How her acquaintance grew with this lewd fellow.
Exeunt.
Enter Benedicke and Margaret.
Ben. Praie thee sweete Mistris Margaret, deserue well at my hands, by helping mee to the speech of Beatrice
Mar. Will you then write me a Sonnet in praise of my beautie? Bene. In so high a stile Margaret, that no man liuing shall come ouer it, for in most comely truth thou deseruest it
Mar. To haue no man come ouer me, why, shall I alwaieskeepe below staires?Bene. Thy wit is as quicke as the grey-hounds mouth,it catches
Mar. And yours, as blunt as the Fencers foiles, whichhit, but hurt not
Bene. A most manly wit Margaret, it will not hurt a woman: and so I pray thee call Beatrice, I giue thee the bucklers
Mar. Giue vs the swords, wee haue bucklers of our owne
Bene. If you vse them Margaret, you must put in the pikes with a vice, and they are dangerous weapons for Maides
Mar. Well, I will call Beatrice to you, who I thinke hath legges.
Exit Margarite.
Ben. And therefore will come. The God of loue that sits aboue, and knowes me, and knowes me, how pittifull I deserue. I meane in singing, but in louing, Leander the good swimmer, Troilous the first imploier of pandars, and a whole booke full of these quondam carpet-mongers, whose name yet runne smoothly in the euen rode of a blanke verse, why they were neuer so truely turned ouer and ouer as my poore selfe in loue: marrie I cannot shew it rime, I haue tried, I can finde out no rime to Ladie but babie, an innocent rime: for scorne, horne, a hard rime: for schoole foole, a babling rime: verie ominous endings, no, I was not borne vnder a riming Plannet, for I cannot wooe in festiuall tearmes: Enter Beatrice.
sweete Beatrice would'st thou come when I cal'd thee? Beat. Yea Signior, and depart when you bid me
Bene. O stay but till then
Beat. Then, is spoken: fare you well now, and yet ere I goe, let me goe with that I came, which is, with knowing what hath past betweene you and Claudio