Val. And as we walke along, I dare be boldWith our discourse, to make your Grace to smile.What thinke you of this Page (my Lord?)Duke. I think the Boy hath grace in him, he blushes
Val. I warrant you (my Lord) more grace, then Boy
Duke. What meane you by that saying?Val. Please you, Ile tell you, as we passe along,That you will wonder what hath fortuned:Come Protheus, 'tis your pennance, but to heareThe story of your Loues discouered.That done, our day of marriage shall be yours,One Feast, one house, one mutuall happinesse.
Exeunt.
The names of all the Actors.
Duke: Father to Siluia.Valentine.Protheus. the two Gentlemen.Anthonio: father to Protheus.Thurio: a foolish riuall to Valentine.Eglamoure: Agent for Siluia in her escape.Host: where Iulia lodges.Outlawes with Valentine.Speed: a clownish seruant to Valentine.Launce: the like to Protheus.Panthion: seruant to Antonio.Iulia: beloued of Protheus.Siluia: beloued of Valentine.Lucetta: waighting-woman to Iulia.
FINIS. THE Two Gentlemen of Verona.
The Merry Wiues of Windsor
Actus primus, Scena prima.
Enter Iustice Shallow, Slender, Sir Hugh Euans, Master Page,Falstoffe,Bardolph, Nym, Pistoll, Anne Page, Mistresse Ford, MistressePage, Simple.
Shallow. Sir Hugh, perswade me not: I will make a StarChambermatter of it, if hee were twenty SirIohn Falstoffs, he shall not abuse Robert ShallowEsquire
Slen. In the County of Glocester, Iustice of Peace and Coram
Shal. I (Cosen Slender) and Custalorum
Slen. I, and Ratolorum too; and a Gentleman borne(Master Parson) who writes himselfe Armigero, in anyBill, Warrant, Quittance, or Obligation, Armigero
Shal. I that I doe, and haue done any time these threehundred yeeres
Slen. All his successors (gone before him) hath don't: and all his Ancestors (that come after him) may: they may giue the dozen white Luces in their Coate
Shal. It is an olde Coate
Euans. The dozen white Lowses doe become an old Coat well: it agrees well passant: It is a familiar beast to man, and signifies Loue
Shal. The Luse is the fresh-fish, the salt-fish, is an oldCoate
Slen. I may quarter (Coz)
Shal. You may, by marrying
Euans. It is marring indeed, if he quarter it
Shal. Not a whit
Euan. Yes per-lady: if he ha's a quarter of your coat, there is but three Skirts for your selfe, in my simple coniectures; but that is all one: if Sir Iohn Falstaffe haue committed disparagements vnto you, I am of the Church and will be glad to do my beneuolence, to make attonements and compremises betweene you
Shal. The Councell shall heare it, it is a Riot
Euan. It is not meet the Councell heare a Riot: there is no feare of Got in a Riot: The Councell (looke you) shall desire to heare the feare of Got, and not to heare a Riot: take your vizaments in that
Shal. Ha; o'my life, if I were yong againe, the sword should end it
Euans. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it: and there is also another deuice in my praine, which peraduenture prings goot discretions with it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas Page, which is pretty virginity
Slen. Mistris Anne Page? she has browne haire, and speakes small like a woman
Euans. It is that ferry person for all the orld, as iust as you will desire, and seuen hundred pounds of Moneyes, and Gold, and Siluer, is her Grand-sire vpon his deathsbed, (Got deliuer to a ioyfull resurrections) giue, when she is able to ouertake seuenteene yeeres old. It were a goot motion, if we leaue our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage betweene Master Abraham, and Mistris Anne Page
Slen. Did her Grand-sire leaue her seauen hundredpound?Euan. I, and her father is make her a petter penny
Slen. I know the young Gentlewoman, she has goodgifts
Euan. Seuen hundred pounds, and possibilities, isgoot gifts
Shal. Wel, let vs see honest Mr Page: is Falstaffe there? Euan. Shall I tell you a lye? I doe despise a lyer, as I doe despise one that is false, or as I despise one that is not true: the Knight Sir Iohn is there, and I beseech you be ruled by your well-willers: I will peat the doore for Mr. Page. What hoa? Got-plesse your house heere
Mr.Page. Who's there? Euan. Here is go't's plessing and your friend, and Iustice Shallow, and heere yong Master Slender: that peraduentures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings
Mr.Page. I am glad to see your Worships well: I thanke you for my Venison Master Shallow
Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good doe it your good heart: I wish'd your Venison better, it was ill killd: how doth good Mistresse Page? and I thank you alwaies with my heart, la: with my heart
M.Page. Sir, I thanke you
Shal. Sir, I thanke you: by yea, and no I doe
M.Pa. I am glad to see you, good Master Slender
Slen. How do's your fallow Greyhound, Sir, I heard say he was out-run on Cotsall
M.Pa. It could not be iudg'd, Sir
Slen. You'll not confesse: you'll not confesse
Shal. That he will not, 'tis your fault, 'tis your fault: 'tis a good dogge
M.Pa. A Cur, Sir
Shal. Sir: hee's a good dog, and a faire dog, can there be more said? he is good, and faire. Is Sir Iohn Falstaffe heere? M.Pa. Sir, hee is within: and I would I could doe a good office betweene you
Euan. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speake
Shal. He hath wrong'd me (Master Page.)M.Pa. Sir, he doth in some sort confesse it
Shal. If it be confessed, it is not redressed; is not that so (M[aster]. Page?) he hath wrong'd me, indeed he hath, at a word he hath: beleeue me, Robert Shallow Esquire, saith he is wronged
Ma.Pa. Here comes Sir Iohn
Fal. Now, Master Shallow, you'll complaine of me tothe King?Shal. Knight, you haue beaten my men, kill'd mydeere, and broke open my Lodge
Fal. But not kiss'd your Keepers daughter?Shal. Tut, a pin: this shall be answer'd
Fal. I will answere it strait, I haue done all this:That is now answer'd
Shal. The Councell shall know this
Fal. 'Twere better for you if it were known in councell: you'll be laugh'd at
Eu. Pauca verba; (Sir Iohn) good worts
Fal. Good worts? good Cabidge; Slender, I broke your head: what matter haue you against me? Slen. Marry sir, I haue matter in my head against you, and against your cony-catching Rascalls, Bardolf, Nym, and Pistoll
Bar. You Banbery Cheese
Slen. I, it is no matter
Pist. How now, Mephostophilus?Slen. I, it is no matter
Nym. Slice, I say; pauca, pauca: Slice, that's my humor
Slen. Where's Simple my man? can you tell, Cosen? Eua. Peace, I pray you: now let vs vnderstand: there is three Vmpires in this matter, as I vnderstand; that is, Master Page (fidelicet Master Page,) & there is my selfe, (fidelicet my selfe) and the three party is (lastly, and finally) mine Host of the Garter
Ma.Pa. We three to hear it, & end it between them
Euan. Ferry goo't, I will make a priefe of it in my note-booke, and we wil afterwards orke vpon the cause, with as great discreetly as we can
Fal. Pistoll
Pist. He heares with eares
Euan. The Teuill and his Tam: what phrase is this? he heares with eare? why, it is affectations
Fal. Pistoll, did you picke M[aster]. Slenders purse? Slen. I, by these gloues did hee, or I would I might neuer come in mine owne great chamber againe else, of seauen groates in mill-sixpences, and two Edward Shouelboords, that cost me two shilling and two pence a peece of Yead Miller: by these gloues
Fal. Is this true, Pistoll?Euan. No, it is false, if it is a picke-purse
Pist. Ha, thou mountaine Forreyner: Sir Iohn, and Master mine, I combat challenge of this Latine Bilboe: word of deniall in thy labras here; word of denial; froth, and scum thou liest
Slen. By these gloues, then 'twas he
Nym. Be auis'd sir, and passe good humours: I will say marry trap with you, if you runne the nut-hooks humor on me, that is the very note of it
Slen. By this hat, then he in the red face had it: for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunke, yet I am not altogether an asse
Fal. What say you Scarlet, and Iohn?Bar. Why sir, (for my part) I say the Gentleman haddrunke himselfe out of his fiue sentences
Eu. It is his fiue sences: fie, what the ignorance is
Bar. And being fap, sir, was (as they say) casheerd: and so conclusions past the Careires
Slen. I, you spake in Latten then to: but 'tis no matter; Ile nere be drunk whilst I liue againe, but in honest, ciuill, godly company for this tricke: if I be drunke, Ile be drunke with those that haue the feare of God, and not with drunken knaues
Euan. So got-udge me, that is a vertuous minde
Fal. You heare all these matters deni'd, Gentlemen;you heare it
Mr.Page. Nay daughter, carry the wine in, wee'lldrinke within
Slen. Oh heauen: This is Mistresse Anne Page
Mr.Page. How now Mistris Ford?Fal. Mistris Ford, by my troth you are very wel met:by your leaue good Mistris
Mr.Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome: come, we haue a hot Venison pasty to dinner; Come gentlemen, I hope we shall drinke downe all vnkindnesse
Slen. I had rather then forty shillings I had my booke of Songs and Sonnets heere: How now Simple, where haue you beene? I must wait on my selfe, must I? you haue not the booke of Riddles about you, haue you? Sim. Booke of Riddles? why did you not lend it to Alice Short-cake vpon Alhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas
Shal. Come Coz, come Coz, we stay for you: a word with you Coz: marry this, Coz: there is as 'twere a tender, a kinde of tender, made a farre-off by Sir Hugh here: doe you vnderstand me? Slen. I Sir, you shall finde me reasonable; if it be so, I shall doe that that is reason
Shal. Nay, but vnderstand me
Slen. So I doe Sir
Euan. Giue eare to his motions; (Mr. Slender) I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it
Slen. Nay, I will doe as my Cozen Shallow saies: I pray you pardon me, he's a Iustice of Peace in his Countrie, simple though I stand here
Euan. But that is not the question: the question is concerning your marriage
Shal. I, there's the point Sir
Eu. Marry is it: the very point of it, to Mi[stris]. An Page
Slen. Why if it be so; I will marry her vpon any reasonable demands
Eu. But can you affection the 'oman, let vs command to know that of your mouth, or of your lips: for diuers Philosophers hold, that the lips is parcell of the mouth: therfore precisely, ca[n] you carry your good wil to y maid? Sh. Cosen Abraham Slender, can you loue her? Slen. I hope sir, I will do as it shall become one that would doe reason
Eu. Nay, got's Lords, and his Ladies, you must speakepossitable, if you can carry-her your desires towards her
Shal. That you must:Will you, (vpon good dowry) marry her?Slen. I will doe a greater thing then that, vpon yourrequest (Cosen) in any reason
Shal. Nay conceiue me, conceiue mee, (sweet Coz): What I doe is to pleasure you (Coz:) can you loue the maid? Slen. I will marry her (Sir) at your request; but if there bee no great loue in the beginning, yet Heauen may decrease it vpon better acquaintance, when wee are married, and haue more occasion to know one another: I hope vpon familiarity will grow more content: but if you say mary-her, I will mary-her, that I am freely dissolued, and dissolutely
Eu. It is a fery discretion-answere; saue the fall is in the 'ord, dissolutely: the ort is (according to our meaning) resolutely: his meaning is good
Sh. I: I thinke my Cosen meant well
Sl. I, or else I would I might be hang'd (la.)Sh. Here comes faire Mistris Anne; would I wereyong for your sake, Mistris Anne
An. The dinner is on the Table, my Father desiresyour worships company
Sh. I will wait on him, (faire Mistris Anne.)Eu. Od's plessed-wil: I wil not be abse[n]ce at the grace
An. Wil't please your worship to come in, Sir?Sl. No, I thank you forsooth, hartely; I am very well
An. The dinner attends you, Sir
Sl. I am not a-hungry, I thanke you, forsooth: goe,Sirha, for all you are my man, goe wait vpon my CosenShallow: a Iustice of peace sometime may be beholdingto his friend, for a Man; I keepe but three Men, and aBoy yet, till my Mother be dead: but what though, yetI liue like a poore Gentleman borne
An. I may not goe in without your worship: theywill not sit till you come
Sl. I' faith, ile eate nothing: I thanke you as much asthough I did
An. I pray you Sir walke in
Sl. I had rather walke here (I thanke you) I bruiz'd my shin th' other day, with playing at Sword and Dagger with a Master of Fence (three veneys for a dish of stew'd Prunes) and by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meate since. Why doe your dogs barke so? be there Beares ith' Towne? An. I thinke there are, Sir, I heard them talk'd of
Sl. I loue the sport well, but I shall as soone quarrellat it, as any man in England: you are afraid if you see theBeare loose, are you not?An. I indeede Sir
Sl. That's meate and drinke to me now: I haue seene Saskerson loose, twenty times, and haue taken him by the Chaine: but (I warrant you) the women haue so cride and shrekt at it, that it past: But women indeede, cannot abide 'em, they are very ill-fauour'd rough things
Ma.Pa. Come, gentle M[aster]. Slender, come; we stay for you
Sl. Ile eate nothing, I thanke you Sir
Ma.Pa. By cocke and pie, you shall not choose, Sir: come, come
Sl. Nay, pray you lead the way
Ma.Pa. Come on, Sir
Sl. Mistris Anne: your selfe shall goe first
An. Not I Sir, pray you keepe on
Sl. Truely I will not goe first: truely-la: I will not doe you that wrong
An. I pray you Sir
Sl. Ile rather be vnmannerly, then troublesome: you doe your selfe wrong indeede-la.
Exeunt.
Scena Secunda.
Enter Euans, and Simple.
Eu. Go your waies, and aske of Doctor Caius house, which is the way; and there dwels one Mistris Quickly; which is in the manner of his Nurse; or his dry-Nurse; or his Cooke; or his Laundry; his Washer, and his Ringer
Si. Well Sir
Eu. Nay, it is petter yet: giue her this letter; for it is a 'oman that altogeathers acquainta[n]ce with Mistris Anne Page; and the Letter is to desire, and require her to solicite your Masters desires, to Mistris Anne Page: I pray you be gon: I will make an end of my dinner; ther's Pippins and Cheese to come.
Exeunt.
Scena Tertia.
Enter Falstaffe, Host, Bardolfe, Nym, Pistoll, Page.
Fal. Mine Host of the Garter?Ho. What saies my Bully Rooke? speake schollerly,and wisely
Fal. Truely mine Host; I must turne away some of myfollowers
Ho. Discard, (bully Hercules) casheere; let them wag;trot, trot
Fal. I sit at ten pounds a weeke
Ho. Thou'rt an Emperor (Cesar, Keiser and Pheazar)I will entertaine Bardolfe: he shall draw; he shall tap; saidI well (bully Hector?)Fa. Doe so (good mine Host.)Ho. I haue spoke; let him follow; let me see thee froth,and liue: I am at a word: follow
Fal. Bardolfe, follow him: a Tapster is a good trade: an old Cloake, makes a new Ierkin: a wither'd Seruingman, a fresh Tapster: goe, adew
Ba. It is a life that I haue desir'd: I will thriue
Pist. O base hungarian wight: wilt y the spigot wield
Ni. He was gotten in drink: is not the humor co[n]ceited?Fal. I am glad I am so acquit of this Tinderbox: hisThefts were too open: his filching was like an vnskilfullSinger, he kept not time
Ni. The good humor is to steale at a minutes rest
Pist. Conuay: the wise it call: Steale? foh: a fico for the phrase
Fal. Well sirs, I am almost out at heeles
Pist. Why then let Kibes ensue
Fal. There is no remedy: I must conicatch, I must shift
Pist. Yong Rauens must haue foode
Fal. Which of you know Ford of this Towne?Pist. I ken the wight: he is of substance good
Fal. My honest Lads, I will tell you what I am about
Pist. Two yards, and more
Fal. No quips now Pistoll: (Indeede I am in the waste two yards about: but I am now about no waste: I am about thrift) briefely: I doe meane to make loue to Fords wife: I spie entertainment in her: shee discourses: shee carues: she giues the leere of inuitation: I can construe the action of her familier stile, & the hardest voice of her behauior (to be english'd rightly) is, I am Sir Iohn Falstafs
Pist. He hath studied her will; and translated her will:out of honesty, into English
Ni. The Anchor is deepe: will that humor passe?Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of herhusbands Purse: he hath a legend of Angels
Pist. As many diuels entertaine: and to her Boy say I
Ni. The humor rises: it is good: humor me the angels
Fal. I haue writ me here a letter to her: & here another to Pages wife, who euen now gaue mee good eyes too; examind my parts with most iudicious illiads: sometimes the beame of her view, guilded my foote: sometimes my portly belly
Pist. Then did the Sun on dung-hill shine
Ni. I thanke thee for that humour
Fal. O she did so course o're my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye, did seeme to scorch me vp like a burning-glasse: here's another letter to her: She beares the Purse too: She is a Region in Guiana: all gold, and bountie: I will be Cheaters to them both, and they shall be Exchequers to mee: they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both: Goe, beare thou this Letter to Mistris Page; and thou this to Mistris Ford: we will thriue (Lads) we will thriue
Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,And by my side weare Steele? then Lucifer take all
Ni. I will run no base humor: here take the humor-Letter;I will keepe the hauior of reputation
Fal. Hold Sirha, beare you these Letters tightly,Saile like my Pinnasse to these golden shores.Rogues, hence, auaunt, vanish like haile-stones; goe,Trudge; plod away ith' hoofe: seeke shelter, packe:Falstaffe will learne the honor of the age,French-thrift, you Rogues, my selfe, and skirted Page
Pist. Let Vultures gripe thy guts: for gourd, andFullam holds: & high and low beguiles the rich & poore,Tester ile haue in pouch when thou shalt lacke,Base Phrygian Turke
Ni. I haue opperations,Which be humors of reuenge
Pist. Wilt thou reuenge?Ni. By Welkin, and her Star
Pist. With wit, or Steele?Ni. With both the humors, I:I will discusse the humour of this Loue to Ford
Pist. And I to Page shall eke vnfoldHow Falstaffe (varlet vile)His Doue will proue; his gold will hold,And his soft couch defile
Ni. My humour shall not coole: I will incense Ford to deale with poyson: I will possesse him with yallownesse, for the reuolt of mine is dangerous: that is my true humour
Pist. Thou art the Mars of Malecontents: I second thee: troope on.
Exeunt.
Scoena Quarta.
Enter Mistris Quickly, Simple, Iohn Rugby, Doctor, Caius, Fenton.
Qu. What, Iohn Rugby, I pray thee goe to the Casement, and see if you can see my Master, Master Docter Caius comming: if he doe (I' faith) and finde any body in the house; here will be an old abusing of Gods patience, and the Kings English
Ru. Ile goe watch
Qu. Goe, and we'll haue a posset for't soone at night, (in faith) at the latter end of a Sea-cole-fire: An honest, willing, kinde fellow, as euer seruant shall come in house withall: and I warrant you, no tel-tale, nor no breedebate: his worst fault is, that he is giuen to prayer; hee is something peeuish that way: but no body but has his fault: but let that passe. Peter Simple, you say your name is? Si. I: for fault of a better
Qu. And Master Slender's your Master?Si. I forsooth
Qu. Do's he not weare a great round Beard, like aGlouers pairing-knife?Si. No forsooth: he hath but a little wee-face; witha little yellow Beard: a Caine colourd Beard
Qu. A softly-sprighted man, is he not?Si. I forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands, asany is betweene this and his head: he hath fought witha Warrener
Qu. How say you: oh, I should remember him: do'she not hold vp his head (as it were?) and strut in his gate?Si. Yes indeede do's he
Qu. Well, heauen send Anne Page, no worse fortune:Tell Master Parson Euans, I will doe what I can for yourMaster: Anne is a good girle, and I wish -Ru. Out alas: here comes my Master
Qu. We shall all be shent: Run in here, good young man: goe into this Closset: he will not stay long: what Iohn Rugby? Iohn: what Iohn I say? goe Iohn, goe enquire for my Master, I doubt he be not well, that hee comes not home: (and downe, downe, adowne'a. &c
Ca. Vat is you sing? I doe not like des-toyes: pray you goe and vetch me in my Closset, vnboyteere verd; a Box, a greene-a-Box: do intend vat I speake? a greene-a-Box
Qu. I forsooth ile fetch it you: I am glad hee went not in himselfe: if he had found the yong man he would haue bin horne-mad
Ca. Fe, fe, fe, fe, mai foy, il fait for ehando, Ie man voi a leCourt la grand affaires
Qu. Is it this Sir?Ca. Ouy mette le au mon pocket, depeech quickly:Vere is dat knaue Rugby?Qu. What Iohn Rugby, Iohn?Ru. Here Sir
Ca. You are Iohn Rugby, and you are Iacke Rugby: Come, take-a-your Rapier, and come after my heele to the Court
Ru. 'Tis ready Sir, here in the Porch
Ca. By my trot: I tarry too long: od's-me: que ay ie oublie: dere is some Simples in my Closset, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leaue behinde
Qu. Ay-me, he'll finde the yong man there, & be mad
Ca. O Diable, Diable: vat is in my Closset?Villanie, Laroone: Rugby, my Rapier
Qu. Good Master be content
Ca. Wherefore shall I be content-a?Qu. The yong man is an honest man
Ca. What shall de honest man do in my Closset: dereis no honest man dat shall come in my Closset
Qu. I beseech you be not so flegmaticke: heare the truth of it. He came of an errand to mee, from Parson Hugh
Ca. Vell
Si. I forsooth: to desire her to -Qu. Peace, I pray you
Ca. Peace-a-your tongue: speake-a-your Tale
Si. To desire this honest Gentlewoman (your Maid) to speake a good word to Mistris Anne Page, for my Master in the way of Marriage
Qu. This is all indeede-la: but ile nere put my fingerin the fire, and neede not
Ca. Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, ballow mee somepaper: tarry you a littell-a-while
Qui. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had bin throughly moued, you should haue heard him so loud, and so melancholly: but notwithstanding man, Ile doe yoe your Master what good I can: and the very yea, & the no is, y French Doctor my Master, (I may call him my Master, looke you, for I keepe his house; and I wash, ring, brew, bake, scowre, dresse meat and drinke, make the beds, and doe all my selfe.) Simp. 'Tis a great charge to come vnder one bodies hand
Qui. Are you auis'd o'that? you shall finde it a great charge: and to be vp early, and down late: but notwithstanding, (to tell you in your eare, I wold haue no words of it) my Master himselfe is in loue with Mistris Anne Page: but notwithstanding that I know Ans mind, that's neither heere nor there
Caius. You, Iack'Nape: giue-'a this Letter to Sir Hugh, by gar it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in de Parke, and I will teach a scuruy Iackanape Priest to meddle, or make:- you may be gon: it is not good you tarry here: by gar I will cut all his two stones: by gar, he shall not haue a stone to throw at his dogge
Qui. Alas: he speakes but for his friend
Caius. It is no matter 'a ver dat: do not you tell-a-me dat I shall haue Anne Page for my selfe? by gar, I vill kill de Iack-Priest: and I haue appointed mine Host of de Iarteer to measure our weapon: by gar, I wil my selfe haue Anne Page
Qui. Sir, the maid loues you, and all shall bee well:We must giue folkes leaue to prate: what the goodier
Caius. Rugby, come to the Court with me: by gar, if I haue not Anne Page, I shall turne your head out of my dore: follow my heeles, Rugby
Qui. You shall haue An-fooles head of your owne: No, I know Ans mind for that: neuer a woman in Windsor knowes more of Ans minde then I doe, nor can doe more then I doe with her, I thanke heauen
Fenton. Who's with in there, hoa?Qui. Who's there, I troa? Come neere the house Ipray you
Fen. How now (good woman) how dost thou?Qui. The better that it pleases your good Worshipto aske?Fen. What newes? how do's pretty Mistris Anne?Qui. In truth Sir, and shee is pretty, and honest, andgentle, and one that is your friend, I can tell you that bythe way, I praise heauen for it
Fen. Shall I doe any good thinkst thou? shall I not loose my suit? Qui. Troth Sir, all is in his hands aboue: but notwithstanding (Master Fenton) Ile be sworne on a booke shee loues you: haue not your Worship a wart aboue your eye? Fen. Yes marry haue I, what of that? Qui. Wel, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such another Nan; (but (I detest) an honest maid as euer broke bread: wee had an howres talke of that wart; I shall neuer laugh but in that maids company: but (indeed) shee is giuen too much to Allicholy and musing: but for you - well - goe too - Fen. Well: I shall see her to day: hold, there's money for thee: Let mee haue thy voice in my behalfe: if thou seest her before me, commend me. - Qui. Will I? I faith that wee will: And I will tell your Worship more of the Wart, the next time we haue confidence, and of other wooers
Fen. Well, fare-well, I am in great haste now
Qui. Fare-well to your Worship: truely an honest Gentleman: but Anne loues him not: for I know Ans minde as well as another do's: out vpon't: what haue I forgot.
Enter.
Actus Secundus. Scoena Prima.
Enter Mistris Page, Mistris Ford, Master Page, Master Ford,Pistoll, Nim,Quickly, Host, Shallow.
Mist.Page. What, haue scap'd Loue-letters in the holly-day-time of my beauty, and am I now a subiect for them? let me see? Aske me no reason why I loue you, for though Loue vse Reason for his precisian, hee admits him not for his Counsailour: you are not yong, no more am I: goe to then, there's simpathie: you are merry, so am I: ha, ha, then there's more simpathie: you loue sacke, and so do I: would you desire better simpathie? Let it suffice thee (Mistris Page) at the least if the Loue of Souldier can suffice, that I loue thee: I will not say pitty mee, 'tis not a Souldier-like phrase; but I say, loue me: By me, thine owne true Knight, by day or night: Or any kinde of light, with all his might, For thee to fight. Iohn Falstaffe. What a Herod of Iurie is this? O wicked, wicked world: One that is well-nye worne to peeces with age To show himselfe a yong Gallant? What an vnwaied Behauiour hath this Flemish drunkard pickt (with The Deuills name) out of my conuersation, that he dares In this manner assay me? why, hee hath not beene thrice In my Company: what should I say to him? I was then Frugall of my mirth: (heauen forgiue mee:) why Ile Exhibit a Bill in the Parliament for the putting downe of men: how shall I be reueng'd on him? for reueng'd I will be? as sure as his guts are made of puddings
Mis.Ford. Mistris Page, trust me, I was going to yourhouse
Mis.Page. And trust me, I was comming to you: youlooke very ill
Mis.Ford. Nay Ile nere beleeue that; I haue to shewto the contrary
Mis.Page. 'Faith but you doe in my minde
Mis.Ford. Well: I doe then: yet I say, I could shew you to the contrary: O Mistris Page, giue mee some counsaile
Mis.Page. What's the matter, woman?Mi.Ford. O woman: if it were not for one trifling respect,I could come to such honour
Mi.Page. Hang the trifle (woman) take the honour:what is it? dispence with trifles: what is it?Mi.Ford. If I would but goe to hell, for an eternallmoment, or so: I could be knighted
Mi.Page. What thou liest? Sir Alice Ford? these Knights will hacke, and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy Gentry
Mi.Ford. Wee burne day-light: heere, read, read: perceiue how I might bee knighted, I shall thinke the worse of fat men, as long as I haue an eye to make difference of mens liking: and yet hee would not sweare: praise womens modesty: and gaue such orderly and welbehaued reproofe to al vncomelinesse, that I would haue sworne his disposition would haue gone to the truth of his words: but they doe no more adhere and keep place together, then the hundred Psalms to the tune of Greensleeues: What tempest (I troa) threw this Whale, (with so many Tuns of oyle in his belly) a'shoare at Windsor? How shall I bee reuenged on him? I thinke the best way were, to entertaine him with hope, till the wicked fire of lust haue melted him in his owne greace: Did you euer heare the like? Mis.Page. Letter for letter; but that the name of Page and Ford differs: to thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, heere's the twyn-brother of thy Letter: but let thine inherit first, for I protest mine neuer shall: I warrant he hath a thousand of these Letters, writ with blancke-space for different names (sure more): and these are of the second edition: hee will print them out of doubt: for he cares not what hee puts into the presse, when he would put vs two: I had rather be a Giantesse, and lye vnder Mount Pelion: Well; I will find you twentie lasciuious Turtles ere one chaste man
Mis.Ford. Why this is the very same: the very hand: the very words: what doth he thinke of vs? Mis.Page. Nay I know not: it makes me almost readie to wrangle with mine owne honesty: Ile entertaine my selfe like one that I am not acquainted withall: for sure vnlesse hee know some straine in mee, that I know not my selfe, hee would neuer haue boorded me in this furie
Mi.Ford. Boording, call you it? Ile bee sure to keepe him aboue decke
Mi.Page. So will I: if hee come vnder my hatches, Ile neuer to Sea againe: Let's bee reueng'd on him: let's appoint him a meeting: giue him a show of comfort in his Suit, and lead him on with a fine baited delay, till hee hath pawn'd his horses to mine Host of the Garter
Mi.Ford. Nay, I wil consent to act any villany against him, that may not sully the charinesse of our honesty: oh that my husband saw this Letter: it would giue eternall food to his iealousie
Mis.Page. Why look where he comes; and my good man too: hee's as farre from iealousie, as I am from giuing him cause, and that (I hope) is an vnmeasurable distance
Mis.Ford. You are the happier woman
Mis.Page. Let's consult together against this greasieKnight: Come hither
Ford. Well: I hope, it be not so
Pist. Hope is a curtall-dog in some affaires:Sir Iohn affects thy wife
Ford. Why sir, my wife is not young
Pist. He wooes both high and low, both rich & poor, both yong and old, one with another (Ford) he loues the Gally-mawfry (Ford) perpend
Ford. Loue my wife?Pist. With liuer, burning hot: preuent:Or goe thou like Sir Acteon he, withRing-wood at thy heeles: O, odious is the name
Ford. What name Sir?Pist. The horne I say: Farewell:Take heed, haue open eye, for theeues doe foot by night.Take heed, ere sommer comes, or Cuckoo-birds do sing.Away sir Corporall Nim:Beleeue it (Page) he speakes sence
Ford. I will be patient: I will find out this
Nim. And this is true: I like not the humor of lying: hee hath wronged mee in some humors: I should haue borne the humour'd Letter to her: but I haue a sword: and it shall bite vpon my necessitie: he loues your wife; There's the short and the long: My name is Corporall Nim: I speak, and I auouch; 'tis true: my name is Nim: and Falstaffe loues your wife: adieu, I loue not the humour of bread and cheese: adieu
Page. The humour of it (quoth 'a?) heere's a fellow frights English out of his wits
Ford. I will seeke out Falstaffe
Page. I neuer heard such a drawling-affecting rogue
Ford. If I doe finde it: well
Page. I will not beleeue such a Cataian, though thePriest o' th' Towne commended him for a true man
Ford. 'Twas a good sensible fellow: well
Page. How now Meg?Mist.Page. Whether goe you (George?) harke you
Mis.Ford. How now (sweet Frank) why art thou melancholy?Ford. I melancholy? I am not melancholy:Get you home: goe
Mis.Ford. Faith, thou hast some crochets in thy head,Now: will you goe, Mistris Page?Mis.Page. Haue with you: you'll come to dinnerGeorge? Looke who comes yonder: shee shall bee ourMessenger to this paltrie Knight
Mis.Ford. Trust me, I thought on her: shee'll fit it
Mis.Page. You are come to see my daughter Anne?Qui. I forsooth: and I pray how do's good MistresseAnne?Mis.Page. Go in with vs and see: we haue an hourestalke with you
Page. How now Master Ford?For. You heard what this knaue told me, did you not?Page. Yes, and you heard what the other told me?Ford. Doe you thinke there is truth in them?Pag. Hang 'em slaues: I doe not thinke the Knightwould offer it: But these that accuse him in his intenttowards our wiues, are a yoake of his discarded men: veryrogues, now they be out of seruice
Ford. Were they his men?Page. Marry were they
Ford. I like it neuer the beter for that, Do's he lye at the Garter? Page. I marry do's he: if hee should intend this voyage toward my wife, I would turne her loose to him; and what hee gets more of her, then sharpe words, let it lye on my head
Ford. I doe not misdoubt my wife: but I would bee loath to turne them together: a man may be too confident: I would haue nothing lye on my head: I cannot be thus satisfied
Page. Looke where my ranting-Host of the Garter comes: there is eyther liquor in his pate, or mony in his purse, when hee lookes so merrily: How now mine Host? Host. How now Bully-Rooke: thou'rt a Gentleman Caueleiro Iustice, I say
Shal. I follow, (mine Host) I follow: Good-euen, and twenty (good Master Page.) Master Page, wil you go with vs? we haue sport in hand
Host. Tell him Caueleiro-Iustice: tell him Bully-Rooke
Shall. Sir, there is a fray to be fought, betweene SirHugh the Welch Priest, and Caius the French Doctor
Ford. Good mine Host o'th' Garter: a word with you
Host. What saist thou, my Bully-Rooke? Shal. Will you goe with vs to behold it? My merry Host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and (I thinke) hath appointed them contrary places: for (beleeue mee) I heare the Parson is no Iester: harke, I will tell you what our sport shall be
Host. Hast thou no suit against my Knight? my guest-Caualeire?Shal. None, I protest: but Ile giue you a pottle ofburn'd sacke, to giue me recourse to him, and tell himmy name is Broome: onely for a iest
Host. My hand, (Bully:) thou shalt haue egresse andregresse, (said I well?) and thy name shall be Broome. Itis a merry Knight: will you goe An-heires?Shal. Haue with you mine Host
Page. I haue heard the French-man hath good skillin his Rapier
Shal. Tut sir: I could haue told you more: In these times you stand on distance: your Passes, Stoccado's, and I know not what: 'tis the heart (Master Page) 'tis heere, 'tis heere: I haue seene the time, with my long-sword, I would haue made you fowre tall fellowes skippe like Rattes
Host. Heere boyes, heere, heere: shall we wag?Page. Haue with you: I had rather heare them scold,then fight
Ford. Though Page be a secure foole, and stands so firmely on his wiues frailty; yet, I cannot put-off my opinion so easily: she was in his company at Pages house: and what they made there, I know not. Well, I wil looke further into't, and I haue a disguise, to sound Falstaffe; if I finde her honest, I loose not my labor: if she be otherwise, 'tis labour well bestowed.
Exeunt.
Scoena Secunda.
Enter Falstaffe, Pistoll, Robin, Quickly, Bardolffe, Ford.
Fal. I will not lend thee a penny
Pist. Why then the world's mine Oyster, which I, with sword will open
Fal. Not a penny: I haue beene content (Sir,) you should lay my countenance to pawne: I haue grated vpon my good friends for three Repreeues for you, and your Coach-fellow Nim; or else you had look'd through the grate, like a Geminy of Baboones: I am damn'd in hell, for swearing to Gentlemen my friends, you were good Souldiers, and tall-fellowes. And when Mistresse Briget lost the handle of her Fan, I took't vpon mine honour thou hadst it not
Pist. Didst not thou share? hadst thou not fifteene pence? Fal. Reason, you roague, reason: thinkst thou Ile endanger my soule, gratis? at a word, hang no more about mee, I am no gibbet for you: goe, a short knife, and a throng, to your Mannor of Pickt-hatch: goe, you'll not beare a Letter for mee you roague? you stand vpon your honor: why, (thou vnconfinable basenesse) it is as much as I can doe to keepe the termes of my honor precise: I, I, I my selfe sometimes, leauing the feare of heauen on the left hand, and hiding mine honor in my necessity, am faine to shufflle: to hedge, and to lurch, and yet, you Rogue, will en-sconce your raggs; your Cat-a-Mountaine-lookes, your red-lattice phrases, and your boldbeating-oathes, vnder the shelter of your honor? you will not doe it? you?
Pist. I doe relent: what would thou more of man?
Robin. Sir, here's a woman would speake with you
Fal. Let her approach
Qui. Giue your worship good morrow
Fal. Good-morrow, good-wife
Qui. Not so, and't please your worship
Fal. Good maid then
Qui. Ile be sworne,As my mother was the first houre I was borne
Fal. I doe beleeue the swearer; what with me?
Qui. Shall I vouch-safe your worship a word, ortwo?
Fal. Two thousand (faire woman) and ile vouchsafethee the hearing
Qui. There is one Mistresse Ford, (Sir) I pray come alittle neerer this waies: I my selfe dwell with M[aster]. DoctorCaius:Fal. Well, on; Mistresse Ford, you say
Qui. Your worship saies very true: I pray your worshipcome a little neerer this waies
Fal. I warrant thee, no-bodie heares: mine ownepeople, mine owne people
Qui. Are they so? heauen-blesse them, and makethem his Seruants
Fal. Well; Mistresse Ford, what of her?
Qui. Why, Sir; shee's a good-creature; Lord, Lord, your Worship's a wanton: well: heauen forgiue you, and all of vs, I pray -
Fal. Mistresse Ford: come, Mistresse Ford
Qui. Marry this is the short, and the long of it: you haue brought her into such a Canaries, as 'tis wonderfull: the best Courtier of them all (when the Court lay at Windsor) could neuer haue brought her to such a Canarie: yet there has beene Knights, and Lords, and Gentlemen, with their Coaches; I warrant you Coach after Coach, letter after letter, gift after gift, smelling so sweetly; all Muske, and so rushling, I warrant you, in silke and golde, and in such alligant termes, and in such wine and suger of the best, and the fairest, that would haue wonne any womans heart: and I warrant you, they could neuer get an eye-winke of her: I had my selfe twentie Angels giuen me this morning, but I defie all Angels (in any such sort, as they say) but in the way of honesty: and I warrant you, they could neuer get her so much as sippe on a cup with the prowdest of them all, and yet there has beene Earles: nay, (which is more) Pentioners, but I warrant you all is one with her
Fal. But what saies shee to mee? be briefe my good sheeMercurie
Qui. Marry, she hath receiu'd your Letter: for the which she thankes you a thousand times; and she giues you to notifie, that her husband will be absence from his house, betweene ten and eleuen
Fal. Ten, and eleuen
Qui. I, forsooth: and then you may come and see the picture (she sayes) that you wot of: Master Ford her husband will be from home: alas, the sweet woman leades an ill life with him: hee's a very iealousie-man; she leads a very frampold life with him, (good hart.)
Fal. Ten, and eleuen.Woman, commend me to her, I will not faile her
Qui. Why, you say well: But I haue another messenger to your worship: Mistresse Page hath her heartie commendations to you to: and let mee tell you in your eare, shee's as fartuous a ciuill modest wife, and one (I tell you) that will not misse you morning nor euening prayer, as any is in Windsor, who ere bee the other: and shee bade me tell your worship, that her husband is seldome from home, but she hopes there will come a time. I neuer knew a woman so doate vpon a man; surely I thinke you haue charmes, la: yes in truth
Fal. Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction of my good parts aside, I haue no other charmes
Qui. Blessing on your heart for't
Fal. But I pray thee tell me this: has Fords wife, andPages wife acquainted each other, how they loue me?
Qui. That were a iest indeed: they haue not so little grace I hope, that were a tricke indeed: But Mistris Page would desire you to send her your little Page of al loues: her husband has a maruellous infectio[n] to the little Page: and truely Master Page is an honest man: neuer a wife in Windsor leades a better life then she do's: doe what shee will, say what she will, take all, pay all, goe to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she will: and truly she deserues it; for if there be a kinde woman in Windsor, she is one: you must send her your Page, no remedie
Fal. Why, I will
Qu. Nay, but doe so then, and looke you, hee may come and goe betweene you both: and in any case haue a nay-word, that you may know one anothers minde, and the Boy neuer neede to vnderstand any thing; for 'tis not good that children should know any wickednes: olde folkes you know, haue discretion, as they say, and know the world
Fal. Farethee-well, commend mee to them both: there's my purse, I am yet thy debter: Boy, goe along with this woman, this newes distracts me
Pist. This Puncke is one of Cupids Carriers,Clap on more sailes, pursue: vp with your sights:Giue fire: she is my prize, or Ocean whelme them all
Fal. Saist thou so (old Iacke) go thy waies: Ile make more of thy olde body then I haue done: will they yet looke after thee? wilt thou after the expence of so much money, be now a gainer? good Body, I thanke thee: let them say 'tis grossely done, so it bee fairely done, no matter
Bar. Sir Iohn, there's one Master Broome below would faine speake with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath sent your worship a mornings draught of Sacke
Fal. Broome is his name?
Bar. I Sir
Fal. Call him in: such Broomes are welcome to mee, that ore'flowes such liquor: ah ha, Mistresse Ford and Mistresse Page, haue I encompass'd you? goe to, via
Ford. 'Blesse you sir
Fal. And you sir: would you speake with me?
Ford. I make bold, to presse, with so little preparationvpon you
Fal. You'r welcome, what's your will? giue vs leaueDrawer
Ford. Sir, I am a Gentleman that haue spent much,my name is Broome
Fal. Good Master Broome, I desire more acquaintanceof you
Ford. Good Sir Iohn, I sue for yours: not to charge you, for I must let you vnderstand, I thinke my selfe in better plight for a Lender, then you are: the which hath something emboldned me to this vnseason'd intrusion: for they say, if money goe before, all waies doe lye open
Fal. Money is a good Souldier (Sir) and will on
Ford. Troth, and I haue a bag of money heere troubles me: if you will helpe to beare it (Sir Iohn) take all, or halfe, for easing me of the carriage
Fal. Sir, I know not how I may deserue to bee yourPorter
Ford. I will tell you sir, if you will giue mee the hearing
Fal. Speake (good Master Broome) I shall be glad to be your Seruant
Ford. Sir, I heare you are a Scholler: (I will be briefe with you) and you haue been a man long knowne to me, though I had neuer so good means as desire, to make my selfe acquainted with you. I shall discouer a thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine owne imperfection: but (good Sir Iohn) as you haue one eye vpon my follies, as you heare them vnfolded, turne another into the Register of your owne, that I may passe with a reproofe the easier, sith you your selfe know how easie it is to be such an offender
Fal. Very well Sir, proceed
Ford. There is a Gentlewoman in this Towne, her husbands name is Ford
Fal. Well Sir
Ford. I haue long lou'd her, and I protest to you, bestowed much on her: followed her with a doating obseruance: Ingross'd opportunities to meete her: fee'd euery slight occasion that could but nigardly giue mee sight of her: not only bought many presents to giue her, but haue giuen largely to many, to know what shee would haue giuen: briefly, I haue pursu'd her, as Loue hath pursued mee, which hath beene on the wing of all occasions: but whatsoeuer I haue merited, either in my minde, or in my meanes, meede I am sure I haue receiued none, vnlesse Experience be a Iewell, that I haue purchased at an infinite rate, and that hath taught mee to say this, ``Loue like a shadow flies, when substance Loue pursues, ``Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues
Fal. Haue you receiu'd no promise of satisfaction ather hands?Ford. Neuer
Fal. Haue you importun'd her to such a purpose?Ford. Neuer
Fal. Of what qualitie was your loue then?Ford. Like a fair house, built on another mans ground,so that I haue lost my edifice, by mistaking the place,where I erected it
Fal. To what purpose haue you vnfolded this to me? For. When I haue told you that, I haue told you all: Some say, that though she appeare honest to mee, yet in other places shee enlargeth her mirth so farre, that there is shrewd construction made of her. Now (Sir Iohn) here is the heart of my purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable discourse, of great admittance, authenticke in your place and person, generally allow'd for your many war-like, court-like, and learned preparations
Fal. O Sir
Ford. Beleeue it, for you know it: there is money, spend it, spend it, spend more; spend all I haue, onely giue me so much of your time in enchange of it, as to lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this Fords wife: vse your Art of wooing; win her to consent to you: if any man may, you may as soone as any
Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your affection that I should win what you would enioy? Methinkes you prescribe to your selfe very preposterously
Ford. O, vnderstand my drift: she dwells so securely on the excellency of her honor, that the folly of my soule dares not present it selfe: shee is too bright to be look'd against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand; my desires had instance and argument to commend themselues, I could driue her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are tootoo strongly embattaild against me: what say you too't, Sir Iohn? Fal. Master Broome, I will first make bold with your money: next, giue mee your hand: and last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enioy Fords wife
Ford. O good Sir
Fal. I say you shall
Ford. Want no money (Sir Iohn) you shall want none
Fal. Want no Mistresse Ford (Master Broome) you shall want none: I shall be with her (I may tell you) by her owne appointment, euen as you came in to me, her assistant, or goe-betweene, parted from me: I say I shall be with her betweene ten and eleuen: for at that time the iealious-rascally-knaue her husband will be forth: come you to me at night, you shall know how I speed
Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance: do you know Ford Sir? Fal. Hang him (poore Cuckoldly knaue) I know him not: yet I wrong him to call him poore: They say the iealous wittolly-knaue hath masses of money, for the which his wife seemes to me well-fauourd: I will vse her as the key of the Cuckoldly-rogues Coffer, & ther's my haruest-home
Ford. I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might auoid him, if you saw him
Fal. Hang him, mechanicall-salt-butter rogue; I wil stare him out of his wits: I will awe-him with my cudgell: it shall hang like a Meteor ore the Cuckolds horns: Master Broome, thou shalt know, I will predominate ouer the pezant, and thou shalt lye with his wife. Come to me soone at night: Ford's a knaue, and I will aggrauate his stile: thou (Master Broome) shalt know him for knaue, and Cuckold. Come to me soone at night
Ford. What a damn'd Epicurian-Rascall is this? my heart is ready to cracke with impatience: who saies this is improuident iealousie? my wife hath sent to him, the howre is fixt, the match is made: would any man haue thought this? see the hell of hauing a false woman: my bed shall be abus'd, my Coffers ransack'd, my reputation gnawne at, and I shall not onely receiue this villanous wrong, but stand vnder the adoption of abhominable termes, and by him that does mee this wrong: Termes, names: Amaimon sounds well: Lucifer, well: Barbason, well: yet they are Diuels additions, the names of fiends: But Cuckold, Wittoll, Cuckold? the Diuell himselfe hath not such a name. Page is an Asse, a secure Asse; hee will trust his wife, hee will not be iealous: I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter, Parson Hugh the Welshman with my Cheese, an Irish-man with my Aqua-vitae-bottle, or a Theefe to walke my ambling gelding, then my wife with her selfe. Then she plots, then shee ruminates, then shee deuises: and what they thinke in their hearts they may effect; they will breake their hearts but they will effect. Heauen bee prais'd for my iealousie: eleuen o' clocke the howre, I will preuent this, detect my wife, bee reueng'd on Falstaffe, and laugh at Page. I will about it, better three houres too soone, then a mynute too late: fie, fie, fie: Cuckold, Cuckold, Cuckold.
Enter.
Scena Tertia.
Enter Caius, Rugby, Page, Shallow, Slender, Host.
Caius. Iacke Rugby
Rug. Sir
Caius. Vat is the clocke, Iack
Rug. 'Tis past the howre (Sir) that Sir Hugh promis'd to meet
Cai. By gar, he has saue his soule, dat he is no-come: hee has pray his Pible well, dat he is no-come: by gar (Iack Rugby) he is dead already, if he be come
Rug. Hee is wise Sir: hee knew your worship would kill him if he came
Cai. By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill kill him: take your Rapier, (Iacke) I vill tell you how I vill kill him
Rug. Alas sir, I cannot fence
Cai. Villaine, take your Rapier
Rug. Forbeare: heer's company
Host. 'Blesse thee, bully-Doctor
Shal. 'Saue you Mr. Doctor Caius
Page. Now good Mr. Doctor
Slen. 'Giue you good-morrow, sir
Caius. Vat be all you one, two, tree, fowre, come for? Host. To see thee fight, to see thee foigne, to see thee trauerse, to see thee heere, to see thee there, to see thee passe thy puncto, thy stock, thy reuerse, thy distance, thy montant: Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francisco? ha Bully? what saies my Esculapius? my Galien? my heart of Elder? ha? is he dead bully-Stale? is he dead? Cai. By gar, he is de Coward-Iack-Priest of de vorld: he is not show his face
Host. Thou art a Castalion-king-Vrinall: Hector ofGreece (my Boy)Cai. I pray you beare witnesse, that me haue stay,sixe or seuen, two tree howres for him, and hee is nocome
Shal. He is the wiser man (M[aster]. Doctor) he is a curer of soules, and you a curer of bodies: if you should fight, you goe against the haire of your professions: is it not true, Master Page? Page. Master Shallow; you haue your selfe beene a great fighter, though now a man of peace
Shal. Body-kins M[aster]. Page, though I now be old, and of the peace; if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one: though wee are Iustices, and Doctors, and Church-men (M[aster]. Page) wee haue some salt of our youth in vs, we are the sons of women (M[aster]. Page.) Page. 'Tis true, Mr. Shallow
Shal. It wil be found so, (M[aster]. Page:) M[aster]. Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home: I am sworn of the peace: you haue show'd your selfe a wise Physician, and Sir Hugh hath showne himselfe a wise and patient Churchman: you must goe with me, M[aster]. Doctor
Host. Pardon, Guest-Iustice; a Mounseur Mocke-water
Cai. Mock-vater? vat is dat?Host. Mock-water, in our English tongue, is Valour(Bully.)Cai. By gar, then I haue as much Mock-vater as deEnglishman: scuruy-Iack-dog-Priest: by gar, mee villcut his eares
Host. He will Clapper-claw thee tightly (Bully.)Cai. Clapper-de-claw? vat is dat?Host. That is, he will make thee amends
Cai. By-gar, me doe looke hee shall clapper-de-clawme, for by-gar, me vill haue it
Host. And I will prouoke him to't, or let him wag
Cai. Me tanck you for dat
Host. And moreouer, (Bully) but first, Mr. Ghuest, and M[aster]. Page, & eeke Caualeiro Slender, goe you through the Towne to Frogmore
Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he?Host. He is there, see what humor he is in: and I willbring the Doctor about by the Fields: will it doe well?Shal. We will doe it
All. Adieu, good M[aster]. Doctor
Cai. By-gar, me vill kill de Priest, for he speake for aIack-an-Ape to Anne Page
Host. Let him die: sheath thy impatience: throw cold water on thy Choller: goe about the fields with mee through Frogmore, I will bring thee where Mistris Anne Page is, at a Farm-house a Feasting: and thou shalt wooe her: Cride-game, said I well? Cai. By-gar, mee dancke you vor dat: by gar I loue you: and I shall procure 'a you de good Guest: de Earle, de Knight, de Lords, de Gentlemen, my patients
Host. For the which, I will be thy aduersary towardAnne Page: said I well?Cai. By-gar, 'tis good: vell said
Host. Let vs wag then
Cai. Come at my heeles, Iack Rugby.
Exeunt.
Actus Tertius. Scoena Prima.
Enter Euans, Simple, Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Caius, Rugby.
Euans. I pray you now, good Master Slenders seruingman, and friend Simple by your name; which way haue you look'd for Master Caius, that calls himselfe Doctor of Phisicke
Sim. Marry Sir, the pittie-ward, the Parke-ward: euery way: olde Windsor way, and euery way but the Towne-way
Euan. I most fehemently desire you, you will also looke that way
Sim. I will sir
Euan. 'Plesse my soule: how full of Chollors I am, and trempling of minde: I shall be glad if he haue deceiued me: how melancholies I am? I will knog his Vrinalls about his knaues costard, when I haue good oportunities for the orke: 'Plesse my soule: To shallow Riuers to whose falls: melodious Birds sings Madrigalls: There will we make our Peds of Roses: and a thousand fragrant posies. To shallow: 'Mercie on mee, I haue a great dispositions to cry. Melodious birds sing Madrigalls: - When as I sat in Pabilon: and a thousand vagram Posies. To shallow, &c
Sim. Yonder he is comming, this way, Sir Hugh
Euan. Hee's welcome: To shallow Riuers, to whose fals:Heauen prosper the right: what weapons is he?Sim. No weapons, Sir: there comes my Master, Mr.Shallow, and another Gentleman; from Frogmore, ouerthe stile, this way
Euan. Pray you giue mee my gowne, or else keepe itin your armes
Shal. How now Master Parson? good morrow goodSir Hugh: keepe a Gamester from the dice, and a goodStudient from his booke, and it is wonderfull
Slen. Ah sweet Anne Page
Page. 'Saue you, good Sir Hugh