There was no torture at school the next day. She ignored him through the morning, and he couldn’t find her at recess, but at lunch she came and sat next to him. They ate in silence, but he was comforted by her presence beside him, a warmth that he sensed more than felt.She sat beside him in afternoon classes, too. Not a word passed between them. For Alan, it felt like anything they could say to one another would be less true than the silence, but that realization hurt. He’d never been able to discuss his life and nature with anyone and it seemed as though he never would.But the next morning, in the school yard, she snagged him as he walked past the climber made from a jumble of bolted-together logs and dragged him into the middle. It smelled faintly of pee and was a rich source of mysterious roaches and empty beer bottles on Monday mornings after the teenagers had come and gone.She was crouched down on her haunches in the snow there, her steaming breath coming in short huffs. She grabbed him by the back of his knit toque and pulled his face to hers, kissing him hard on the mouth, shocking the hell out of him by forcing her tongue past his lips.They kissed until the bell rang, and as Alan made his way to class, he felt like his face was glowing like a lightbulb. His homeroom teacher asked him if he was feeling well, and he stammered out some kind of affirmative while Marci, sitting in the next row, stifled a giggle.They ate their lunches together again, and she filled the silence with a running commentary of the deficiencies of the sandwich her father had packed her, the strange odors coming from the brown bag that Alan had brought, filled with winter mushrooms and some soggy bread and cheese, and the hairiness of the mole on the lunch lady’s chin.When they reached the schoolyard, she tried to drag him back to the logs, but he resisted, taking her instead to the marsh where he’d first spied her. The ground had frozen over and the rushes and reeds were stubble, poking out of the snow. He took her mittened hands in his and waited for her to stop squirming.Which she did, eventually. He’d rehearsed what he’d say to her all morning:Do you believe me? What am I? Am I like you? Do you still love me? Are you still my friend? I don’t understand it any better than you do, but now, now there are two of us who know about it, and maybe we can make sense of it together. God, it’s such a relief to not be the only one anymore.But now, standing there with Marci, in the distant catcalls of the playground and the smell of the new snow and the soughing of the wind in the trees, he couldn’t bring himself to say it. She either knew these things or she didn’t, and if she didn’t, he didn’t know what he could do to help it.“What?” she said at last.“Do you—” he began, then fell silent. He couldn’t say the words.She looked irritated, and the sounds and the smells swept over him as the moment stretched. But then she softened. “I don’t understand it, Alan,” she said. “Is it true? Is it really how you say it is? Did I see what I saw?”“It’s true,” he said, and it was as though the clouds had parted, the world gone bright with the glare off the snow and the sounds from the playground now joyous instead of cruel. “It’s true, and I don’t understand it any more than you do, Marci.”“Are you…human, Alan?”“Ithinkso,” he said. “I bleed. I eat. I sleep. I think and talk and dream.”She squeezed his hands and darted a kiss at him. “You kiss,” she said.And it was all right again.
There was no torture at school the next day. She ignored him through the morning, and he couldn’t find her at recess, but at lunch she came and sat next to him. They ate in silence, but he was comforted by her presence beside him, a warmth that he sensed more than felt.
She sat beside him in afternoon classes, too. Not a word passed between them. For Alan, it felt like anything they could say to one another would be less true than the silence, but that realization hurt. He’d never been able to discuss his life and nature with anyone and it seemed as though he never would.
But the next morning, in the school yard, she snagged him as he walked past the climber made from a jumble of bolted-together logs and dragged him into the middle. It smelled faintly of pee and was a rich source of mysterious roaches and empty beer bottles on Monday mornings after the teenagers had come and gone.
She was crouched down on her haunches in the snow there, her steaming breath coming in short huffs. She grabbed him by the back of his knit toque and pulled his face to hers, kissing him hard on the mouth, shocking the hell out of him by forcing her tongue past his lips.
They kissed until the bell rang, and as Alan made his way to class, he felt like his face was glowing like a lightbulb. His homeroom teacher asked him if he was feeling well, and he stammered out some kind of affirmative while Marci, sitting in the next row, stifled a giggle.
They ate their lunches together again, and she filled the silence with a running commentary of the deficiencies of the sandwich her father had packed her, the strange odors coming from the brown bag that Alan had brought, filled with winter mushrooms and some soggy bread and cheese, and the hairiness of the mole on the lunch lady’s chin.
When they reached the schoolyard, she tried to drag him back to the logs, but he resisted, taking her instead to the marsh where he’d first spied her. The ground had frozen over and the rushes and reeds were stubble, poking out of the snow. He took her mittened hands in his and waited for her to stop squirming.
Which she did, eventually. He’d rehearsed what he’d say to her all morning:Do you believe me? What am I? Am I like you? Do you still love me? Are you still my friend? I don’t understand it any better than you do, but now, now there are two of us who know about it, and maybe we can make sense of it together. God, it’s such a relief to not be the only one anymore.
But now, standing there with Marci, in the distant catcalls of the playground and the smell of the new snow and the soughing of the wind in the trees, he couldn’t bring himself to say it. She either knew these things or she didn’t, and if she didn’t, he didn’t know what he could do to help it.
“What?” she said at last.
“Do you—” he began, then fell silent. He couldn’t say the words.
She looked irritated, and the sounds and the smells swept over him as the moment stretched. But then she softened. “I don’t understand it, Alan,” she said. “Is it true? Is it really how you say it is? Did I see what I saw?”
“It’s true,” he said, and it was as though the clouds had parted, the world gone bright with the glare off the snow and the sounds from the playground now joyous instead of cruel. “It’s true, and I don’t understand it any more than you do, Marci.”
“Are you…human, Alan?”
“Ithinkso,” he said. “I bleed. I eat. I sleep. I think and talk and dream.”
She squeezed his hands and darted a kiss at him. “You kiss,” she said.
And it was all right again.